EMPOWERED BY STRUGGLES BEmpower THE MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN June July 2022 Light Code Healing ANGER IS A SIGNAL Even the Strong needs Strength
com TABLE OF CONTENTS www bempowerwomen com 06 Women Who Empower 9 Fashion & Beauty 13 Nutrition and Fitness 23 Women's Health 29 Business & Professional 39 Female Sexuality 45 Emotional Health 55 Women Empowerment 65 Family & Relationship 76 Healing with Energy 81 Horoscope
You can have a tender heart and still be strong
& NLP Educator Motivator Author
// www.bempowerwomen.com // www.familysecrethelpers.com
The problem is not that both exist (both exist, in all of us). The problem is what happens when they are out of balance.
Editor Host &
of Podcast www.nancy
Projects Master
President of Family Secret Helpers Founder of its Coach & Producer rivera.com
It's good to have a noble and tender heart, but sometimes it needs to be strong
When we favor our soft side too much, we can succumb to anguish and possible emotional collapse. If we let our strong side get too harsh, our anger could consume us until we burn out. Both the strong side and the soft side are needed, to work together Now, I'm going, to be honest: society is sometimes not crazy about people who are strong and tender. It can be very gendered: men are expected to be tough and strong; Women are expected to be sweet and tender. So we're breaking the rules. But trust me when I say it's worth it Fully embraced is worth it Ultimately, those around you (and the world!) will benefit from you coming across as your whole self. Yes, our fiery side will make some people uncomfortable, as will our vulnerabilities. Everyone will survive that discomfort. Just remember that your heartache is valid, just like your strength wishes to create transformation. Sometimes it seems that nuance is no longer welcome, that we are reduced to what we can include in an Instagram caption. But you are allowed to be complicated. There is a myth that being strong is not spiritual, that we are all supposed to be perfectly calm all the time. That is simply not true. Our strong side, or any other reaction to oppression or the state of the world, is just a set of conditions that we are working with. Anger is just another part of our experience. In fact, it offers us a routine for our practice. Beyond our own individual practice, our strong side is a lamp to illuminate injustice and show the way forward.
Editor's Message Nancy Rivera
Above all, remember the root of your care. Whether it comes from a place of being strong with protection or tender with care, these feelings are reminders that you care. We are all allowed to hold all of our parts, all at the same time, even if some of them don't seem to fit at first. Thanks for your support! Enjoy! With love,
On the other hand, there is the misconception that if we are “too” tender, we will fall apart when the going gets tough. It is true that we do not want to be victims of our emotions. It is a gift to be able to work with them skillfully. However, our cuteness is really an asset. Tenderness allows us to perceive our interconnection more easily: to recognize ourselves in others and vice versa. It is the foundation of a more compassionate world. That's why I (and we) need both. When there is too much of one, we become unbalanced. There are gifts to embrace both, to be somewhere in the middle. To create more of this balance, it is important to know your tendencies. Do you tend towards the strong side or the soft side? With that information, you can navigate ways to create more balance and communication between those two sides. If you tend to be more on the strong side, practice getting in touch with the feelings underlying any anger or reactivity. Remember that it is okay to feel tender and vulnerable. Put your hands on your heart and breathe, if you have trouble getting in touch with your tenderness. If your natural state is more sensitive, practice acting in service of what breaks your heart. Taking action creates a feeling of empowerment. Taking action (even small actions) on a regular basis can help you release any feelings of helplessness you may be feeling.
GloricelEscribanoLeal, GuestColumnist "Women in the Tourism Business" You are strong and brave Everything you propose you will achieve
Five years ago I began to study and work in the economic sector of Tourism. Where no one saw me with a fixed future, they told me that I had gone crazy to change my profession. Me, I wasn't really changing my profession; better yet, I was integrating my financial skills with technology, event coordination, languages, and understanding people's behavior when choosing destinations. I repeated to myself, <<Tourism is defined as an economic sector made up of several industries, I am aligned>>.
Did you know that we are the gender with the largest population worldwide? But, apparently, we have been installed a "social chip" so that we think that we are less in number, less in education, less in strength, and less in everything.
I have to say, being able to get out of the box is tough. I cannot express otherwise. Entrepreneurship costs money, emotional effort, and physical effort and requires incredible determination. It is important to unlearn and learn again. All the skills that I have been able to develop in recent years have helped me to undertake alone, identify the true strategies to provide a service different from the existing ones, to really help the communities that need it, and create collaboration agreements with new entrepreneurs in the tourism sector.
Women Who Empower
Among the projects that I am working on is the offering of new tourist routes in the municipality of San Lorenzo in Puerto Rico, mentoring for the development of new tourist services, and the offer of coordinating tourist events where 80% or more than activities with local businessmen, purely Puerto Rican. I seek to give that little push to whoever needs it to undertake their projects. This last point is more to the female gender that wants to venture into the world of Tourism. Many of them are fearful of discrimination, harassment, and, in general, the lack of equality that we experience on a daily basis. They ask me if I feel good working as a Tour Guide. The truth is, so far while practicing the profession I have not had any situation of direct harassment for being a woman, but I do have colleagues to whom it has happened. What does always come up as a topic of debate is the price that I assign to my tours. In these cases, I do feel a bit of pressure from society telling me that since I am a woman I should assign lower prices than my male colleagues. Just as it is stipulated in the Sustainable Development Goals and the United Nations 2030 Agenda, it is of great importance that all of us begin to reevaluate to change our thinking as to what and how a woman should develop in the different work industries. . Jobs in Tourism must provide women with job security, promote the formal economy (salary and benefits), promote equality and non-discrimination, protect maternity decisions, stop harassment, promote inclusion of women in decision-making and equal pay between women and men.
Highlighting the salary, in 2019, the World Tourism Organization (UNWTO) reported in its second edition of the World Report on Women in Tourism, that women earn 14.7% less than men in the tourism sector. According to the UNWTO, we are represented in the tourism sector with 54% of the people employed. We are the majority! Although the panorama was a bit complicated by the arrival of the Covid-19 pandemic, where many women became unemployed. Now in the year, 2022 Tourism began to resurface and with it hiring again. In general terms, it is necessary to provide women with decent work, if we really want as a society to increase the work and presence of women in tourism. In addition, we must have accessible education and training available from an early age. Make known all the alternatives to develop ourselves in the professions we want, including self-management, sales, leadership, finance, and business management skills. As well, as adults, begin to modify our thinking before society and instruct that women can also take charge of large projects where we are the person who sells the service, and meets with suppliers to negotiate, among other actions.
Twitter: @tourborincano webpage: https://www.turismoborincano.com
Instagram: @turismoborincano
Facebook: @turismoborincano
WhatsApp: 787-921-6960
I take this opportunity to highlight that currently, 23% of the Ministries of Tourism are directed by women. Definitely, we can become great in Tourism, all of us who want it! With all this, he wants to tell you again that to undertake incredible determination is needed. What if I had only listened to the voices that told me that I was crazy about moving to the tourist sector? My company would not have been born. She was not working as a Certified Tourist Guide and Coordinator of Tourist Events I was not supporting other local entrepreneurs. Do I have a way to go? Yes, a lot. I only have 5 years. Have I met to set goals? Yes, a lot. I have my company. I have my tourist services for sale. People are trusting me and what I do. I do not want to close, without first sharing with you some of the words that are my inspiration for the difficult days of entrepreneurship, particular by providing direct jobs and generating inc with tourism and hospitality Tourism can be a tool fo in all aspects of society " World Tourism Organizatio A hug, Gloricel Loyal Scribe Chairwoman Tourism Borincano LLC
Fashion & Beauty
Having a dream wardrobe for your social and professional life is something we women dream of. Even if we can have our dream closet mimic a celebrities closet like Rhianna or Traci Ellis Ross. These women have access to so many things that we regular ladies don’t, but it does not mean we can't be able to attain it. When building a work wardrobe from scratch, you must have your key essentials Otherwise, your wardrobe won't be a functional one Let us chat about why you have been having issues with building your dream wardrobe. Then I will get into what your life would be like if you had one. Build a dream wardrobe that’ll set you apart in any boardroom CocoStyles CorporateWardrobeStyleCoach
Coco Styles www.cocostylesny.com @cocostylesny
THE DON'TS Most of the time, people look to Pinterest and Instagram for style ideas, but they often mistake copying the entire outfit that doesn’t always suit their style. It is a big NO! You only take inspiration from these outlets, but not the whole look. When you do this, you are not addressing your personal style needs. You are essentially putting a band aid on a situation that needs your full attention. Another reason you may be having trouble building your dream wardrobe is, you don’t have a plan When shopping, having a plan and strategy is the key to not wasting money or buying things you do not need. You end up with clothes that do not fit your style. So keep that in mind and have a plan before you head out shopping. Never rush when trying to build your wardrobe. If you run out and start picking up things without having a plan, you will end up with clothes you never wear.
STYLE Choose clothes that fit your style or things that you are moving towards with your style. It’s called shopping with a plan and strategy. When building a new wardrobe, you should always shop with intentions. This way, you are not buying things that you may end up not wearing So be strategic when you start building your wardrobe. Now, get building that ultimate wardrobe!
FABRIC To key in long lasting clothes is choosing lasting fabrics. The worst thing you can do is keep buying clothes that do not have the best quality. It’s a pure waste of money when you spend your hard earned money on things you have to keep replacing season after season
THE DOS BUY INVESTMENT PIECES
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I will always recommend women invest in their clothes. This way you're not repurchasing the same items every season because you went with a cheaper quality, It's not worth it, trust me!
THINK OF FIT When you are out shopping, think of the fit of every single item you buy. Never purchase something too small. Instead, go a little bigger and get it tailored Remember, you won't be able to alter something too small, but you can always take in something too big.
N u t r i ti o n a n d F i tn e s s
In this article, I share with you some simple strategies you can implement and integrate into your lives to create a self care type lifestyle
1 Pay attention to your dietary habits: Ask these questions to yourself do you eat regular meals, are your meals balanced, do you eat in a rush or sit down calmly and enjoy your meal or do you binge eat or eat the children’s leftovers? Sometimes we keep doing things and do not really think about what’s really going on. It's time to rethink!
3. Identify triggers that give you stress and keep them away: you need to be very intentional in this one. Whether it is a toxic friend, a relative, a discussion, or even a location. If this is not a possibility then get into the habit of disconnecting from the situation with intention. The more you practice the better. Ultimately it becomes a habit and people around you will begin to notice and there is a good chance they will leave you alone.
2. Nap: Whenever I mention this to my patients they look at me as if I have said something funny. Napping is an excellent way to catch up on your sleep and to re energize. The trick is to nap and NOT sleep that means getting into a comfortable position, covering yourself with a light blanket, and closing your eyes for no more than 30 45 minutes If you would like you can set an alarm DO NOT get into your bedthere is a good chance you may over nap and that will interfere with your sleep at night
Alka Chopra, Registered Dietitian, Certified Diabetes Educator & Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor
A woman is a full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform Diane Mariechild As women, we play multiple roles during our lives a daughter, a mom, a wife, an aunt, a sister, and so on Despite these roles, in man’s world (yes that’s true even today) women’s needs are often overlooked or sometimes women themselves choose to neglect themselves giving priority to others' needs This is an unfortunate reality So, to all those women who are reading this article, I urge you to prioritize yourself and design a self care routine that works for you. Get into the habit of allocating a minimum of 15 30 minutes every single day where you spend time with yourself my time. This time may seem very little, but the impact is huge. When you design a self care system for yourself, you develop a positive self to self relationship and that has a fantastic impact on all around you.
Selfcare strategies for women
4. Take intentional breaks multiple times during the day: and involve yourself in small activities that make you happy for example watching an episode of your favorite show or picking up your favorite art medium and just doodling for about 15 20 minutes (just make sure you have a small place set up in your home where you can start and stop at any time so you do not have to clear up each time or keep a small sketchbook in your purse) or even listening to some music or dancing to your favorite song.
9. Visit your local art gallery or museum: if this is your thing you could be visiting every week to cover it all. Admire the artifacts. Take your time. You can even decide to volunteer.
15. Re watch your favorite tv show: binge watching is a good idea to do sometimes. These are just some simple ideas to get you started. To further support you in this journey I have created an online program called “Nurture & Nourish” that is based on teaching you how to make self care a culture by mastering tiny habits one week at a time. You can take a look at it here Alka Chopra
5. Dress up for no reason sometimes: when you look good, you feel good. Maybe take a few selfies as well��
13. Go for a long walk and take photos: come home and enjoy them. Share with friends & family.
14. Take some cooking, crafting, dance, or a class of your choice: This is something that I do quite often. It is the best time spent with myself.
7. Go window shopping alone: and do not buy anything (I know that’s hard). Just browse around and admire the beautiful things in the display windows. This activity is 2 in one some physical activity + some eye candy. And to top it you can buy some popcorn and walk around. It’s a great feeling.
11. Buy yourself a small gift: maybe an outfit, some jewelry or shoes. DO NOT buy anything for the house.
8. Buy some flowers for your room/home: Bring nature inside and keep the vase in a place that is visible at all times.
10. Go for a long drive: grab a coffee/your favorite drink and take a scenic drive. Enjoy the trees, flowers, and even branches.
6. Do your own manicure or pedicure: use whatever creams you have at home. Or visit your local pharmacy and ask the esthetician for some recommendations. Try making this a weekly habit. It's great fun and very relaxing.
https://www.alkachopra.ca/ @alkachoprard
12. Have lunch with friends at your favorite restaurant: meeting up with your friends can be a good way to vent your frustrations and also share your happiness.
When you have a lot of things on your plate, it’s easy to let these things fall by the wayside in favor of other obligations. But if you want to be healthy and have enough energy to accomplish your goals, you need to make time for fitness and nutrition
How to Find Time to Work Out and Eat Healthy When You’ re a Busy Mom
Getting enough exercise and proper nutrition are essential for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
For moms that are always on the go, this is extra essential even when it feels impossible to achieve. It All Starts with Changing Your Habits Many of us want to go all in when we want to start exercising more or eating better. However, making radical changes can be hard to maintain and lead to failure in reaching our goals Rather, the best thing you can do to start exercising and eating nutritiously is to make one small habit change at a time Jackie Kickish, Doctor of Physical Therapy and certified pregnancy and postpartum corrective exercise specialist
It is possible to make time for fitness and nutrition and enjoy it too! It just takes a little creativity and problem solving In this article, I will discuss some tips on how to find time to exercise and eat well when you’re busy!
Eating nutritious foods helps to boost your immune system, helps to maintain a healthy weight, and provides the energy you need to power through your day.
Exercise helps to improve your cardiovascular health, strengthens your muscles and bones, and can help to improve your mental health.
AIt can be tough to find time to work out and eat healthy when you’re busy especially as a mom that is juggling all the things! Between work, family, and social obligations, it seems like there’s never enough time in the day and the to do list keeps growing.
Why It's Important to Find Time for Exercise and Nutrition
Here are some tips you can use to find time to exercise when you’re busy:
In addition to exercising, eating well is essential for maintaining a healthy lifestyle Here are some tips you can use to make sure you’re getting nutritious meals as quickly as possible: Get up earlier: This is easier said than done, but if you can find even 10 minutes in the morning to work out (or make a healthy breakfast), it will set the tone for the rest of the day. Use your lunch break: If you have a job that requires you to be away from home, use your lunch break to get in a quick workout. Exercise while you watch TV: If there is a show you cannot miss, use commercials as an opportunity to do some bodyweight exercises or stretches. You can also put a yoga mat in front of the TV and do some light stretching or yoga. Take the stairs: If you have the opportunity to take the stairs instead of the elevator, do it! This is a great way to sneak in some extra steps and get your heart rate up Make it a family affair: Get your spouse and kids involved in your workout routine. You can do an at home workout together, go for a family walk/run, or even play active games together. Since you are short on time, the first change you make should be something that can be done within a matter of minutes. This might involve something like doing 50 jumping jacks every morning before you jump in the shower, or swapping your sugary coffee drink for something less sweet. You can gradually add in more changes as time goes on, but it’s important to start small. That way they feel overwhelming and time consuming, instead starting to feel natural and seamless with time. Making radical changes all at once is more likely to lead to failure than if you ease into new habits
Work out at home: If you don’t have the time or money to join a gym, there are tons of home workout options available You can find workout videos online, buy home exercise equipment, or even just use your bodyweight for exercises like pushups and squats. Try a HIIT workout: HIIT (high intensity interval training) workouts are a great way to get a lot of exercise in a short amount of time even as little as 5 minutes per day. Start by choosing 5 moves and doing each one at an all out effort for 45 seconds with 15 seconds of rest in between Then, progress from there Cook simple meals: When you’re short on time, cooking complicated meals is not realistic Plus, most kids like basic meals anyways! Instead, focus on simple tasty recipes that can be made quickly. There are plenty of healthy and delicious options available online Some family favorites include a charcuterie board or buddha bowl Tips for Finding Time to Eat Well
Join a gym: If you have the time and resources, joining a gym can be a great way to make exercise more convenient There are usually childcare options available so you can work out while your kids are being cared for.
Tips for Finding Time to Exercise So how in the world will you exercise when you don’t have a spare minute? You can do it!
Meal prep: One of the best ways to make sure you’re eating healthy meals is to prepare meals in advance. This involves cooking several meals at once and storing them in the fridge or freezer. Then, when you’re short on time, you can just grab a meal and go. If you don’t have time for this, you can buy pre cooked freezer meals or pre chopped veggies to make it a bit easier for you. Keep easy-to-grab healthy snacks on hand: It’s also important to have healthy snacks available so you don’t make poor food choices when you’re feeling hungry. Some good options that require no prepping include nuts, whole fruits and vegetables, string cheese, and yogurt.
When you are taking good care of yourself, you'll be able to put your best foot forward in every aspect of your life. Your kids will notice the difference, plus you are setting an excellent example for them. Let's review a few final tips to help you stay on track.
Other Tips for Feeling Your Best
Set up your environment for success: If you have unhealthy food options readily available, it will be harder to resist the temptation to eat them. Make sure your kitchen is stocked with healthy foods that are easy to grab and go. And of course, don’t keep tempting snacks at work or in your car. Double your recipes: Another way to make sure you have healthy meals available is to double your recipes (similar to meal prep). This way, you can cook once and eat twice (for dinner or an on the go lunch). If you don't like eating the same thing twice, then throw the second batch in the freezer for another day.
Be realistic: It’s important to be realistic when it comes to your goals. If you try to do too much at once, you’re likely to get overwhelmed and give up. Start with small changes that you can realistically make and build from there. And if you are struggling, don't be hard on yourself! Simply try again when you're ready.
Put it in your schedule: Just like you would schedule a meeting or dentist appointment, put taking care of yourself in your calendar. This will help to make sure that it actually happens. A concrete schedule is much better than a vague plan for following through. Get your family and friends on board: If the people you spend the most time with are not supportive of your healthy lifestyle, it will be more difficult to maintain. Talk to your loved ones about why eating healthy and exercising is important to you and ask for their support.
Jackie Kickish-
Change your mindset: One of the biggest obstacles to a healthy lifestyle is negative thinking although many people don’t even realize they are doing it. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you can’t do it, you probably won’t be able to. Instead, focus on all the positive things that will come from making healthy choices. Don't forget about your other healthy habits: While eating healthy and exercising are important, they’re not the only things you need to do to be healthy. Make sure you’re also getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and managing stress. When you're ready, these can all build on each other to help you feel amazing. Plus, if you feel like you're "working your butt off" with no results these sneaky habits that are often neglected are often the reason why. Take it one day at a time: It’s impossible to make all of these changes overnight. Just focus on today and do the best you can. Every healthy decision you make is a step in the right direction.
www.jackiekickish.com @drjackiekickish
All of Your Hard Work Will Add Up Over Time As a busy mom myself, I know the days can feel so long. You have so much that needs to be done, yet you feel like you're spinning in circles all while your health goals go down the drain. You can have it all mama! It starts with prioritizing, scheduling, and small habit changes. I hope this article helps you feel motivated and ready to make a change. No matter what that first step is, it's worth it and you can do it! I see women successfully make these changes all the time in my career and once they gain momentum they're unstoppable!
"Females are the most beautiful, gorgeous creatures in the whole world. And I think that we are gorgeous no matter what size we are.” —Alicia Keys
Women's Health
It is boring, but timeless and true that to make an impact on your health you must address both diet and exercise. You can take all the supplements and pills in the world but if your foundation lacks these two basic building blocks then you are just pouring well intentioned sand into a sieve with very large holes.
that is a very important question“The first wealth is health” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
THERAPEUTIC FOODS FOR MENOPAUSE AND PERIMENOPAUSE
The changes that occur to our bodies and brains during the Perimenopause and Menopause transition beg for us to take a closer look at what we put into our bodies, not only for our basic nutritional needs but to support and sometimes mitigate the changes that result from the (often) wild hormone fluctuations we experience during this period
In my first article for this magazine (January 2022), I mentioned the CARDIA study (2015) which concluded that lifestyle changes made later in life can still have great impacts on longevity, health, and happiness in our later years. So, it is never too late to start.
I am a true believer that food can change our lives. Research shows, that a diet full of nutritionally vacant, ultra processed foods will lead to obesity, depression, slowed cognitive function, and a host of chronic pain and disease The short-term pleasure with long-term damage. However, a varied, whole food diet can provide the energy and resources we need to live vibrant lives and ward off illness
Dr Elaine Mele PT, PYT, FNCP Physical Therapist Yoga Therapist Functional Nutrition Provider
Perimenopause and Menopause can be the tipping points in our lives that help determine our quality of life as we age Looking at how we fuel our bodies, and making the necessary changes to our eating habits, can be two of the most foundational steps we take to improve the odds that those years are spent with health and vibrancy
www.elainemele.com elaine@elainemele.com
Some research shows it can also help reduce weight gain and feelings of bloat Proteins
Sources: Beans, soy, tofu, edamame, cruciferous vegetables (see below), dried fruit, and flaxseed Are the building blocks of muscles, bones, skin, and blood. We experience a steady and significant loss of muscle mass and bone strength as we age, but we can greatly slow down this process with exercise and adequate protein intake. Help with tissue repair, healing, and the regulation of hormone levels
Phytoestrogens
In some well documented research studies, soy has actually been shown to have the most positive effect on hot flashes, vaginal dryness, and heavy periods compared to other foods
Are weak estrogen receptors which mean circulating estrogen will “bind up” to these molecules, removing excess estrogen from the bloodstream. Reduced estrogen in the bloodstream helps maintain a more steady hormonal level, leading to (hopefully) reduced estrogen related side effects such as hot flashes and vaginal dryness. Many phytoestrogens are soy based. Soy has historically received a bad rap from some poorly dispensed research information that suggested an increased risk of breast cancer in women following a diet high in soy or soy products. Since then, that research study has been broadly disputed and the most current, general consensus indicates that for most women, high quality, organic soy products do not pose a risk for increasing the incidence of cancer (Chen, 2018) However, women with a history of breast cancer or a genetic predisposition to cancer should proceed with more caution and discuss this with an experienced medical professional. There are many, many things I can include in this article regarding nutrition, food recommendations, supplements, herbs etc. There is a lot to sift through. Some recommendations I see are research based, some anecdotal (which I believe still makes them valid), others I see are baseless and tip towards false advertising The following list of food groups is not exhaustive and there are many I have left out for the sake of brevity. In addition, broad diet recommendations are often very difficult to dispense, for everybody has different needs and nutritional requirements so it is always best to seek individualized guidance from a knowledgeable professional However, I have chosen to focus on some basic food groups that I feel cover a large ground, are relatively easy to incorporate, and have some scientific research backing them up. In my opinion, any change no matter how small is still a good chance so here we go
Sources: sardines, salmon, tuna, flaxseed (oil), chia, walnuts (oil), eggs, soybeans, olive oil.
Recommended dosage: 700 800IU / day has been shown to reduce fracture risk and is generally recommended for women in the menopause years Doctors often recommend even higher dosages, up to 2,000 IU/ day, but this is on a case by case basis so be sure to consult your medical provider before beginning a high dose regimen.
Recommended dosage: 1100mg, at minimum. This can vary with certain medical conditions.
Recommended dosage: 300 400mg / day at minimum
The recommended amount per day: .8 1.0 g per kg body weight (roughly 55g for a 150 lb woman). Recent studies suggest higher numbers, up to 1.2 2.6g/kg may be most beneficial (Phillips, 2016)
Sources: chicken, pork, fish, soy, beans, legumes, eggs, fermented foods (tempeh, kefir) Not only helps to keep bones strong but also aids in maintaining cognitive function. It is involved in the prevention and treatment of heart disease, diabetes, bone loss, and depression, to name a few (Lerchbaum, 2016).
Sources: broccoli, bananas, nuts, seeds, spinach, black beans, avocado, kiwi, spinach, flax, sesame, and sunflower seeds. Fats help the body produce and properly absorb hormones and are good for overall brain health due to their ability to help with neuronal synthesis. Other benefits include decreased overall inflammation, and prevention of heart disease, hypertension, and diabetes For all of these, the risk increases with menopause
Sources: Sunlight (15 min a day), dairy products, salmon, tuna This is one of the few nutrients where a supplement (outside of getting it from sunlight) is sometimes preferred. Best overall (compared to other forms of magnesium) to aid in sleep and mood, while also being gentle on the GI system. Magnesium is important in the process of converting food to energy. Helps regulate cortisol (a stress hormone), supports your thyroid, and assists in the production of progesterone, estrogen, and testosterone. Mild evidence that it can help with hot flashes.
www.elainemele.com elaine@elainemele.com
Vitamin D Magnesium Glycinate Omega 3 Fatty Acids
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Cruciferous vegetables provide fiber, which is important for healthy elimination and bowel function. They can also help optimize thyroid function and contain antioxidants that fight against cancer. High in Iron and Calcium, which are important minerals to maintain strong, healthy bones Cruciferous vegetables also contain moderate levels of Vitamin B and Magnesium which assist in regulating mood and energy levels. There is some evidence that these foods help with hormone regulation (Fowke, 2000) Broccoli especially has been shown to balance the amount of “good” estrogen vs “bad” (the type that increases the risk of cancer in some women) estrogen in the bloodstream.
With any lifestyle change, I often encourage my clients to take small steps to avoid overwhelm Add (or take away) 1 2 new foods a week. Always consult your trusted medical provider before making any drastic changes to your diet especially if you are experiencing or are at risk for significant illness or disease Be patient and kind to yourself along this journey and don’t forget to enjoy your food. It can and should be a source of both need and pleasure. I am here to help, go to www.elainemele.com to sign up for a free 20 S M Chevalier, S & Leidy, H J
min consultation to discuss your wellness needs. Disclaimer: the recommendations in this article are not intended to substitute for direct and individualized medical care Please consult a trusted health care provider before making any significant changes to your diet References: Chen M, et al Association between soy isoflavone intake and breast cancer risk for pre and post menopausal women: A meta analysis of epidemiological studies PLOS One 2014;9:e89288 https://journals plos org/plosone/article?id 10 1371/journal pone 0089288 Accessed Oct 10 2018 Phillips,
Other Sources: cauliflower, kale, bok choy, collard greens, arugula, brussel sprouts
Dr. Elaine Mele www.elainemele.com elaine@elainemele.com
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(2016) Protein “requirements” beyond the RDA implications for optimizing health Applied Physiology, Nutrition, and Metabolism 41(5) 565 572 https://doi org/10 1139/apnm 2015 0550 Lerchbaum E Vitamin D and menopause a narrative review Maturitas 2014 Sep;79(1):3 7 doi: 10 1016/j maturitas 2014 06 003 Epub 2014 Jun 13 PMID: 24993517 Fowke JH Longcope C Hebert JR Brassica vegetable consumption shifts estrogen metabolism in healthy postmenopausal women Cancer Epidemiol Biomarkers Prev 2000 Aug;9(8):773 9 PMID: 10952093 https://www canada ca/en/health canada/services/food nutrition/healthy eating/dietary reference intakes/tables/reference values elements dietary reference intakes tables 2005 html
Other important micronutrients to consider: Vitamins B 6, B 12, E, and Zinc
Vegetables
B u s i n e s s & P r o f e s s i o n a l
How to Enjoy Yourself, Your Kids, and Your Business Without Guilt this Summer Iva Perez, Licensed RTTÒ Practitioner Hypnotherapy No, it isn’t. Boredom IS good for kids!
MINDSET SHIFT # 1 Remove the guilt and stress around boredom. Dear mama, this is a gentle reminder that boredom in our children is not a problem to be fixed Just with this one alone, your energy levels should go back up a couple of notches. Let’s face it Most times, we’re constantly busy, firing on all cylinders, thinking we need to solve our family’s problems. We take it upon ourselves to handle everyone’s affairs. Whether it’s solving for the eternal question of “What’s for dinner?”, to helping your spouse find the whatchamacallit that they can’t find, to looking for a lost sock or toy. So please don’t make boredom another problem that requires solving Because, when we cannot successfully “fix” the boredom, guess who shows up? That’s right. Mom guilt.
Know how to swap your bundle of ‘bored’ for a bundle of joy using these powerful tips. Nothing depletes a mom’s energy faster than a bored child. Hearing the words “I’m bored” seems to grate us down to our core, especially while glancing around and noticing all the toys and games your child has at her disposal. When summertime rolls around, you might panic at the thought of having your child following you around asking for ways to be entertained. You have a million things to do plus a business to run and cannot be your child’s personal entertainer the whole day. And you shouldn’t! So how do we effectively get to enjoy the children’s summer break while also keeping your business running?
MINDSETSHIFT#2 Stimulatethevirtuouscycleoffreeplay
Thisalsotendstobecomeavirtuouscycle.Becausethemorethatchildrenhavetoengageinunstructured play,themoretheyusetheirimaginationandthemorecreativetheybecome.Andatthesametime,they starttoenjoybeinglefttotheirowndevices.Themoretheydoit,themoretheyhavetofindwaystoamuse themselves,sotheyareforcedtobemorecreative Asmothers,we’renurturersbynature.Assupermom,wecancometotherescueandprovide entertainmenttoourkidswhentheycallouttousindespair.
BUTwhenchildrenareforcedtofindwaystoentertainthemselves,somethingmagicalhappens. Byallowingyourchildtoconnecttohisownfeelings,creativity,andimagination,yougivethemthegiftof findingwhattheygenuinelylikeandenjoy.Achildwhocannotfindhisownanswersdoesnotdevelopatrue senseofself.
Learninghowtonavigatethewatersoftechnologyregardingourchildrenisawholesubjectinandofitself beyondthescopeofthisarticle AndIaminnowayopposedtotechnology
Themessagehereisthatweneedtobemindfulthatnotalltechnologyiscreatedequal.There’stheM&M kindoftechnology,andthenthere’stheBrusselsprouttypeoftechnology. WhatIwillsayisthis:childrendon’tneedmuchtoenjoythemselves I’vewatchedmychildrenrippaperand createawinter“wonderland”whilehavingthebesttime
Youhaveemailstosendout,callstomake,andthingstotakecareof Yes,youcanpopinamovie,pluckyour childinfrontofaniPadandgiveyourselfthosemuch needed15 20minutesthatyouneed But,haveyounoticedhowyourchild’slevelofaggressivenessrisesaftertoomuchscreentime?Whatabout theintensityandquantityoftantrums?
Anditisthisunstructuredtimethatallowschildrentheopportunitytoengagewiththemselvesandthe world toimagine,invent,andcreate.
Soletthem
Whenchildrenarelefttotheirowndevices,they’reforcedtobemorecreativeandimaginativeinfinding waystoamusethemselves
No one, and I mean, NO ONE, is more ruthless in making sure a child learns how to play by the rules and develop some good ol’ problem solving skills than a sibling is. Is it irritating having to step in to stop squabbles? Then don’t. Unless someone is in real danger or physically hurt, your children can learn to find a solution together if left to their own devices. It may sound overly simplistic to try and ignore fights and screaming. But just like boredom, the more we interfere, the less likely siblings are forced to find solutions collectively. So the bottom line on children's boredom? The best way to help your child is to do nothing at all! Children need to figure out how to use their free time or they will never learn how to manage it. That being said, this is a disclaimer that every mom will find her own way to deal with boredom, and there is no right or wrong answer. You need to figure out what works for your child and you within the scope of your own time and professional responsibilities.
As long as what works is coming from a place that gives you peace of mind and makes you feel like an empowered mom and NOT making you feel stressed, anxious, worried, and feeling like you’re coming up short on all ends
Mindset shift #3 you don’t need to be a referee So you have more than one at home? And you’re dreading the endless squabbles when they’re together and how you’re being constantly interrupted to referee a fight? Please know this: siblings bond more when they need to entertain themselves together.
This is about keeping your Momergy up (aka your unique mom energy) We aim to make the best decisions for our children But in making those decisions, we need to feel empowered as mothers and businesswomen That’s the only way to continue showing up as the best version of ourselves in every area of our life So kudos to you, mom, for showing up each and every day. You’ve got this!
If you feel guided, you can learn to harness the power of your subconscious mind to maximize your potential and productivity this summer and beyond.
Your subconscious mind has the power to help you bring about the results you want in your business and in life
Yes, this possibly creates more friction and squabbles than sending them off to a class or course somewhere. With multiple kids, it feels like our job becomes that of a referee handing out metaphorical yellow time-out cards left and right during the day But this is the perfect opportunity to foster social competence, respect for rules, self discipline, aggression control, problem solving skills, leadership development, conflict resolution, and playing by the rules.
Iva Perez wwwthemomergymovement.com @momergymovement I can help you use your subconscious mind in an effortless way. Book a complimentary “DROP THE O” Action Plan where we look at your biggest challenge, drop the overwhelm around it, and get you inspired and in the right mindset so you can step through with power in the coming days. I'll share 5 secrets of the subconscious mind and how to use them to your advantage to start shifting things around. You leave with a solid plan detailing the rapid steps you can start taking toward your biggest challenge with confidence and ease. As a Licensed RTT Practitioner Hypnotherapy, I have studied the science of the mind to help women successfully navigate the overlap between business, work, and family life. Let’s hop on a call today!
It sounds so selfish and WRONG, but only because we have been conditioned to believe that it is. The best way I can think of to teach it is by example, so here’s a bit of a real life story
I recently did just that. And it is and WAS hard, and it was and still is heartbreaking. But I had the opposite of support, understanding, and encouragement. I had neglect, shame, punishment, and blame. I had scorn for following my heart. I had disbelief and sabotage around every effort towards improvement, personal or otherwise. All of these things until it had destroyed every piece of balance or semblance of peace in my life no matter how hard I tried to ‘make it work. And so I finally followed my own advice, and I put myself first, and I walked away.
This can look like having the freedom financially and with your time, to make your OWN choices without feeling guilty When you stand in your own power, and you are revered for it instead of demoralized for your pride in who you are It can be transforming who YOU are so that the next generation sees better, learns better, desires and DEMANDS better of those surrounding them. Sometimes, when the support isn’t there, it looks like walking away from a situation you shouldn’t stay in. (Obviously not a rushed decision, but sometimes necessary.)
As a coach, I help mom entrepreneurs step into their big purpose without sacrificing being present with their families the ULTIMATE balance
The ripple effect from that is of course, huge, and there is a lot of real life to ‘handle’ with such a choice. But I fully believe that putting myself first wasn’t a selfish act in this situation. My kids' needs are not just food, water, shelter, etc.
There is also the need to see love and compassion. To witness kindness and playfulness. To be led by example and shown what it looks like to step out of their comfort zone for something they believe in. To have a mother who isn’t struggling with her mental health constantly. And so much more.
The Foundation for Freedom and Balance in Your Life
If they desire better balance in their lives, I am always telling moms the same thing: “Put YOU first!”
“Go to bed earlier, let the dishes sit Go to bed earlier, leave the laundry unfolded Go to bed earlier, skip the extra tv show After a few days, start in the mornings ” Brianna Hosack Parenting, Productivity & Accountability Coach
It truly is all a big circle. Sleep in, start the day rushed and irritable, snap at the kids, put them in a bad mood, get stuck in traffic because you’re running late because they were in a bad mood and not listening, and so on… finally coming home to rush everyone through a late supper, baths and bed, spend hours cleaning and doing the things that ‘should’ have been done all day, don’t have time to connect with the kids or with your spouse, drop into bed exhausted, and late, and start the cycle all over. It ALL comes down to prioritizing YOU. Lower the expectations for a while around what the house needs to look like, and go to bed early for a few days. When you are rested enough to feel sane most of the day, add in getting up early and spend some time taking care of YOU first (no, it doesn’t need to be over an hour like me!). Get the kids up on time and with patience, and have everyone eat healthier breakfasts because it’s not a rush, leaving everyone feeling better all day. Leave on time if you leave the house for work or to take the kids to school, get your work done on time, get dinner ready on time, etc. all the way until it becomes easier to get to bed on time. I promise you that if you do this:
When you put yourself first, you get to CREATE the balance you desire and NEED. This morning, I spent more than an hour before the kids were awake meditating, doing yoga, enjoying HOT coffee, journaling… and so on. I chose to get up early to ‘pour into my own cup’ so that I was overflowing with the energy and joy I desire to show up with as a mother, by the time my kids woke up.
When you put other people first, even your spouse or your children, your outcomes… won’t happen, or at least not nearly often or fast enough.
I recently had this conversation with a fellow mom in a business mastermind I am in, and it brought me back to my own rules very quickly. I was confiding that I was struggling to get up early, even though this is my ‘wheelhouse’. She asked if it might have to do with my evening routine at all, and the lightbulb came on that I had let my evening routines slip!
you will begin to have enough energy to get the housework AND the business work done. your kids will stop complaining about the healthier food eventually your kids and partner will start being more willing to help with things at home because your approach to the issue will be different. you will have more time. You just will.
It’s a hard truth, but I used to ‘hear it’ for getting up early to take care of myself. Even that was a perceived insult by my ‘partner’. If I had done nothing to step on his toes, I would have done nothing. Ever. And children are by nature selfish, and it is totally acceptable that they are, so asking them to sacrifice for you to have ‘me time’ just doesn’t work, as I’m sure every mother reading this can agree. Almost every (exhausted) mother out there hates it when I say this, but an early morning routine is a KEY to having that balance. And yes, you should go to bed earlier to achieve it!
Put. Yourself. First. Every time. Even just for two minutes of deep breathing so you can be calm. Do it again and again and again. And when you ‘fall off the wagon’ and forget to do it for a while, just start again. Go to bed earlier, and let the dishes sit. Go to bed earlier, and leave the laundry unfolded. Go to bed earlier, and skip the extra tv show. After a few days, start in the mornings again. Rinse and repeat. Nobody escapes starting over sometimes; I teach it, and I still need reminders sometimes. Don’t give up. You’ve got this, Mama. You matter. Now it’s time to prove that to yourself.
And this piece, this taking care of yourself…
…It keeps you supported when you don’t want to be doing what you’re doing, and makes you feel lighter and happier all around. And so, I keep droning on and on about it!
www.thecalminspiredmama.com @TheCalm
…It becomes the unshakeable foundation for stronger relationships with your children (and spouse, especially if they are more supportive than mine was!); it becomes the basis for a cleaner, happier home. It becomes the thing you know deep down that supports you through having to pause at the end of a day of working on your dreams. It keeps you grounded when you start flying towards the things that light you up, your passions.
Brianna Hosack InspiredMama
F e m a l e S e x u a l i t y
There are many mothers whose body is beautiful when they get pregnant, every pregnant body is beautiful... But after giving birth, things change. The clothes no longer fit like before, the abdomen can be distended, the stretch marks wreak havoc on the skin, fluid retention does not go away from one day to the next and the worst, the kilos that are usually gained during pregnancy can be an accompanying mother for years. All of this can be really frustrating for a woman who has been a mother.
Feeling sexy, after motherhood...
When a woman becomes pregnant her body changes, this is inevitable. In order to harbor life inside her and for it to grow and develop, the woman's body is sacrificed. There are women who are luckier than others and have more elastic skin where there are no stretch marks or bloating, but not everything is so pretty for all mothers.
While it is true that the fact of having brought a beautiful baby into the world is more than enough to forget all those physical ills, a woman who does not feel good about her body can be really bad emotionally for this reason. It is necessary for a woman who does not feel good about her body to learn to feel good and sexy because every woman is, whether she has been a mother or not... and she has the body she has. Being and feeling sexy is more a matter of attitude and how you see life. The canons of beauty imposed by society have nothing to do with reality.
Julie Demers Holistic Pelvic Floor Therapist
There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a body that has been marked by motherhood. Each sign, each stretch mark… Each mark on your skin is a reminder of how tigress you are and how you face life every day. There are women who think that after becoming mothers they must lose their sexual attractiveness and that it is normal to hate the new body, that it must be covered... But this does not have to be the case, you do not have to forget that your body is yours and what you feel! towards him will make you feel better or worse!
You only have one body and you have to take care of it, but your mind is also very important. You may have found yourself with a few extra kilos, but that does not have to make you feel worse about yourself, you have been a mother! You need to learn to feel good in your skin, not to hate yourself for the changes in your skin, you don't have to beat yourself up in the gym or go on impossible diets. Don't let anyone dare to talk about your body or how you look. It is you who should look and feel good. This way you will feel sexy, whatever others say.
You don't have the body of a catwalk model, but that doesn't mean you can't be sexy, that you can't have and feel the power of your body, of your inner strength. That is much more powerful than having a body 10. Enough of hating the body of a woman that has changed due to giving birth... Enough of comparing yourself with bodies that have undergone surgery or that do not know the ravages of motherhood. When you put yourself first, you get to CREATE the balance you desire and NEED. This morning, I spent more than an hour before the kids where you are a mother and you have strength. Appreciate the gift of life, of having good health. Enjoy your own love, the love you enjoy giving to your baby, the love towards your family. If you feel good about yourself and your body no matter how it is, you will also be doing your children a favor... They will see in you a security model that will make them love themselves just the way they are, without comparison. Self-love is the sexiest thing there is. Your confidence is the most important. Tips to feel sexy after motherhood Accept yourself as you are True, your hips may be wider, and bloating is not pretty to look at. You may even have some gray hair and wrinkles on your face. But we're talking about you, how beautiful you are, and how your body is now your new you and that's what's important. Don't look at the past, look in the mirror and get the best out of yourself right now. You are living. You are raising a human being. You are a superwoman even if you don't believe it right now. All of this should bring you the confidence you need to realize that you are the most beautiful thing on this planet.
Julie Demers Dress to feel good It is possible that during the stage of pregnancy your sexy clothes were left aside, perhaps the pants you had before you became pregnant no longer fit... But that does not mean that you should dress differently or that you should not feel beautiful in the clothes you wear. Go shopping for clothes and buy the one that suits you best. You deserve it after having been pregnant for 9 months, having gone through birth or cesarean section, and because your body has changed. Don't you think? Put yourself first before everything When you are a mother, you are constantly giving in to the needs of others. Your child comes first and it's normal, but there are times when your own needs must also be taken care of, both for your sake and that of your baby or others. If you realize how important your needs are too, your confidence will come back to you and then you will feel sexier and more confident. You will be unstoppable. From now on, you have no excuse. Look in the mirror and feel like the most beautiful of women because you are. Look at your imperfections and see them as marks of your strength, of your courage, that you have given life to the most beautiful thing you have in life. A sexy woman's body doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be real. It is your strength, your courage and your confidence that really makes you sexy to the world, but above all, to yourself.
HolisticPelvicFloorTherapist https://www.juliedemers.com email:julie@juliedemers.com
Themostalluringthingawoman canhaveisconfidence. Beyoncé
E m o t i o n a l H e a l t h
W o m e n E m p o w e r m e n t
EVEN THE STRONG NEEDS STRENGTH
Today, I felt heavy. I was awakened by the sounds of machines and contractors working in my house. After two floods, blowers in my home for weeks, the water being turned on and off, and the floors in my house being pulled up and bare I thought, what else could go wrong? Be careful what you summon! The phone rang and it was a company asking to verify that I was in fact at a store purchasing thousands of dollars in furniture. How could that be when I was sitting in my home office? I learned at that moment my identity had been stolen and someone was on a shopping spree with my name and my credit. As I was finishing up my call I felt my emotions and my body tremble. Oh my goodness! I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. My body seemed to take on a life of its own. My mind was all over the place and I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling. I was no longer in control of what was happening to me I was at my breaking point. I began screaming at the top of my lung Crying hysterically you know, the ugl Nose running Shaking uncontrollably Walls closing in Heart racing Gasping for air I fell to the floor I was all alone I was experiencing what I now know wa
Regina Robinson International Speaker, Publisher, Author & Inner Confidence Strategist
Credits: BSB Fotography BiBi Saran Bennett
“Yes me, even the strong needs strength!” You see I have... Felt like A failure! Felt Unworthy! Felt Defeated! Stressed myself out with worry! Beat myself up! You know, became my own punching bag! I had to decide I was no longer willing to suffer in silence.
How could this be? Not me the #UnstoppableWomanOnTheMove!
I know, I know you're saying to yourself... Not the #UnstoppableWomanOnTheMove!
I had it all together. So, I thought. With tears streaming down my face, I didn’t know how to be there for me. As an unstoppable woman, coach, and mentor I am always there for other women but at this moment I didn’t know how to be there for myself. I slowly inhaled and exhaled. With every inhale it symbolized the overwhelm, the fear, the weight of the world, and all life was throwing at me. All while holding my breath. With every exhale I felt a sense of calm that created peace and joy. I am breaking my silence today because as women we are told to keep moving. When sometimes it is necessary to be still. So, what do you do when you are called to move in the midst of all hell breaking loose in your life? Do you cave or do you keep fighting? Sometimes we don’t want to fight. We don’t want to be strong. We want to lie there and suffer in silence.
www reginarobinsonspeaks com I got up and realized I needed some help. I picked up the phone and called my friends. I was thinking I’m always the one who gets the calls to lift other women up. This time I needed lifting. I had to get out of my headspace and stop telling myself lies. You know the lies we tell ourselves as women… You are not enough You are not worthy You are not deserving My breakdown allowed me to understand that I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. I needed a strength that even I couldn’t give myself. If we could all be honest, I’m sure as a woman you can relate. In fact, thousands of women are suffering in silence. We can’t heal if we keep denying that we are suffering. I realized it was time for me to stop being a Hidden Secret, it was time for me to be a History Maker. I released my comfort and started experiencing the greatness that was within me. Say it with me… I am a history maker I am more than a conquer I am blessed I am bold I am courageous I am unbreakable I am unstoppable
RReginaobinson
Credits: BSB Fotography BiBi Saran Bennett
I want to remind you that a knock down is not a knock out. I got back up declaring the Champ is here! Anxiety, that’s all you got! You will have to hit me harder than that. I decided to own the unstoppable greatness He has deposited on the inside of me. When I got back up I realized it required a new version of me… One that was willing to do the unexpected One that was willing to move beyond my comfort zone One that was willing to push past my push One that was willing to put a praise on it in advance One that was willing to do it afraid, knowing it will work out in my favor One that was willing to own my unstoppable power Today you get to make the decision to get up and become unstoppable. ARISE!
Audrey Lingg Life Engineer Mentor
“The Road Not Taken” is a poem that argues the importance of our choices, both big and small, since they shape our journey through life. Sometimes our life flows toward our hopes and dreams, and sometimes it flows away. In our times of flow, life is easy, full of meaning and movement But, when our life ebbs, we may be struggling against the current, fighting to get a grasp on what is important in our life. Struggle is simply a part of life. At the end of the day, struggles are inevitable and there's nothing one can do to stop this We're all going to struggle in life or feel lost at times, whether one likes it or not. However, struggle is always what makes the reward much more satisfying Leadership is a struggle The question of how to lead successfully and responsibly is crucially important in our uncertain, high pressure, turbulent world. Struggle helps us meet the relentless challenges of being a leader today by identifying the most important questions we should be asking ourselves.
Empowered by Struggles
Gary Vee is a big advocate of failing.
We are not born feeling inadequate but we do struggle immediately at birth, what a struggle just to get here to this world. Our life experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of creative ways and we adapt, that is what we were born to do.
This song is an inspiration. Beauty in the Struggle
Struggles are a very important part of life and many aspects of the changing world are outside your individual control. One can’t control the spread of a virus, the pace of social change, or how the economy behaves. While it can be tough to acknowledge, railing against events or circumstances outside our control will only drain us of energy and leave us feeling anxious and hopeless.
Accepting our situation, on the other hand, can free us up to devote our energy to the things that we do have control over and help ease through the struggle.
Winston Churchill also said about failure
What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?
The world seems to be moving from one crisis to another lately. We’ve experienced a global pandemic, considerable changes to how we conduct our daily lives, there's economic uncertainty, political and social turmoil, as well as many natural disasters. Then there are personal traumas that we are all dealing with, such as the loss of a loved one, declining health, unemployment, the new normal of how we do business, divorce, violent crime, or tragic accidents. For many, this is a time of unprecedented struggle and upheaval. Empowered through Struggles “Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you all of the expectations, all of the beliefs and becoming who you are.”
Why do some people seem to be better able to cope in troubling times than others? It seems those who are resilient tend to have a higher tolerance for the emotional distress generated by hard times. The more resilient you are, the better you’re able to tolerate the feelings of stress, anxiety, and sadness that accompany trauma and adversity and find a way to rebound from struggles. If you'd like to become more resilient, consider these tips:
Resilient people tap into their strengths and support systems to overcome challenges and work through problems.
~Rachel Naomi Remen
Be proactive. Don't ignore your problems. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan and take action. Although it may take time to recover from a major setback, traumatic event, or loss, know that your situation can improve if you work at it. Get connected. Building strong, positive relationships with loved ones and friends will provide you with needed support, guidance, and acceptance in good and bad times. Establish important connections by volunteering or joining a faith or spiritual community.
Resilience - is important because it's needed to process and overcome hardship. Those lacking resilience get easily overwhelmed and may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Take care of yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings. Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Get plenty of sleep and create consistent bedtime rituals. Eat a healthy diet. Practice stress management and relaxation techniques, such as yoga, meditation, guided imagery, deep breathing or prayer. Make every day meaningful. Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose every day. Set clear, achievable goals to help you look toward the future with meaning. Learn from experience. Think of how you've coped with hardships in the past. Consider the skills and strategies that helped you through difficult times. You might even write about past experiences in a journal to help you identify positive and negative behavior patterns and guide your future behavior Remain hopeful. You can't change the past, but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and even anticipating change makes it easier to adapt and view new challenges with less anxiety.
Audrey Lingg Struggles are what get us to future successes and make them special. Struggle teaches the value of hard work and dedication. “Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” Napoleon Hill
https://empoweredliving academy.business.site
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Family & Relationship
Have you ever felt like things are stacked against you and everything is moving in the wrong direction? Maybe it has to do with a co worker or a client, or a close friend or family member And things go from trekking along smoothly to suddenly feeling bumpy and quickly escalate to feeling insurmountable I recently had this experience too! My teenage stepdaughter and I have always had a great relationship For the last 5 years I’ve been her full time mom figure as she’s chosen not to have a relationship with her bio mom for the time being because of neglect and abuse Most of the time people say we act more like sisters than mother and daughter. But around May of this year, she and I were starting to butt heads I noticed she was getting distant This went on for a while It seemed like no matter what I did or said, everything landed the wrong way making matters worse. I could see her struggling silently as she stopped opening up to me during this time which was a big departure from us always talking openly about everything. And it was extremely painful to watch. It became clear to me that our communication style stopped working and a rift was growing between us I realized that it was too painful for both of us to keep going this way and I needed help from an expert to guide me and us through this process. So, I found one. Maria Natapov Stepparenting Coach & Strategist
Somebody to Lean On
And I can’t tell you what a relief it was from the very first session!
In addition to quickly recognizing patterns because of their birds-ey view perspective, an expert has tools, strategies, and tips at their disposal that they can teach you to navigate these situations.
It felt amazing to be able to get out what my concerns were and to have someone point out the similarities between us and how much love we have for each other which has been causing us pain.
Think of it as hands on learning and therefore growth. The beauty is once you go through a few of these and start to understand how to apply the tools and when you become self sufficient in maneuvering these situations. The point is, whether you are going through a new transition like blending a family or whether you’ve been at the game with the same players for a while, things change.
I got the gift of an unbiased perspective to help me see patterns that we’ve been operating in that I’ve been too close to see. This gave me lots of insight and brought me instant relief as I reflected on what was strong about our relationship and our beautiful bond. It quickly changed the dynamic of my stepdaughter’s and my relationship and helped bring us closer and helped us repair the rift that had started to take form. This was a great reminder that in relationships things happen. The only constant change it brings with it is more change. And the only thing you can do is adapt. Sometimes it can be hard to see that your response, is coming from a fear based place and isn’t helpful. When you’re too close to a situation, especially one with high stakes, it can be emotionally draining and overwhelming to find a new approach to get things back on track. Sometimes it’s as simple as seeing things from a new perspective.
The point is, you get accountability, expertise, guidance, and someone to walk beside you to get you the exact results you want. It’s just about finding the approach and guide that’s right for you.
As William Hutchison Murray said, “…that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
If there’s now a resounding “YES,” then what would you like to do about it? As making the decision set everything in a new direction.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way…”
The changes bring on new seasons and therefore new challenges. But you don’t have to navigate these alone or feel hopeless at creating the results you so badly want. I can find help and support, be it from a therapist, coach, or an alternative approach like Rapid Resolution Practitioner.
Your closest relationships often cause the most pain, like my stepdaughter’s and mine was doing to both of us, because they’re the ones that matter most. They are also the ones you are around the most especially if you’re living together. So ask yourself, are your relationships heading in the direction that you want them to be?
Anger is a Signal Nicole Mason, Relationship Coach + RTT Practitioner How Finding the Root of Your Anger can Save Your Marriage
I have always been known as the “Anger and Conflict Specialist ” I know how to calm situations seamlessly, how to get to the root of the anger, how to get people to open up to each other, even if they haven’t done so for years, and I know how to resolve issues quickly I started mediating playground issues when I was in grade school I mediated many moments in my own parent’s divorce as I was growing up I mediated (and still do) all of my friend’s marriages I became trained in mediation before I went to law school. I took mediation courses during law school. I mediated divorces as a divorce attorney.
The biggest observation I took away from 30 years of mediation experience is: Anger is a signal that something else is going on This observation holds true as a Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT), too The issue is that most of us do not know how to use anger to our advantage Elite athletes can embrace anger and let it fuel them to the next level of competition. But, most people end up letting anger rule them, even if they don’t realize it. It simmers and simmers until they blow up usually on the ones they love the most. As part of my RTT practice, I usually suggest the first session on anger Once you clear out the anger that has been holding onto, all their other issues either go away on their own or they’re so much easier to address Anger is the predominant emotion throughout the country (world?) right now When anger comes up, there’s usually a lot more at play. We tend to resort to anger to cover up other feelings usually feelings that make us feel more vulnerable. Anger shows up to protect us from showing our true feelings because anger is “easier” to feel and more socially acceptable to exhibit.
However, anger is a secondary emotion. A secondary emotion means that it is the emotion that shows up. Think of your feelings like an iceberg. Anger is the tip of an iceberg, the part you can see in yourself and others. But, the actual emotion (or the primary or originating emotion), is something beneath the ‘water line’ of the iceberg and is usually not immediately obvious to others, or even yourself.
Taking a deeper look at the feelings beneath the anger the feelings we feel immediately before we feel anger can help to understand and decrease our anger reactions. First, we might feel: attacked offended disrespected pressured hurt scared humiliated frustrated rejected
One of my RTT clients’ experiences illustrates this perfectly (names changed for privacy purposes): Ashley went from her husband calling her immature and her constantly yelling at her kids….to Ashley feelings in control, clearly voicing her needs, and her husband responding to her in a loving way, as well as her being patient and gentle with her children after one RTT session on anger.
Ashley always got angry easily. At everyone. Her kids, her boss, her direct reports, herself, but especially her husband. Not just angry, but resentful. She’d feel overwhelmed, get impatient, and lose her temper…every night. Someone would end up crying usually her. And, her husband would say things like “I can’t believe how immature you are.”
The more intense these feelings get, the more we think of them as “anger.”
Often, the feelings underneath anger the real feelings that are being covered by anger are difficult to express or discuss or admit we’re having.
Ashley got her husband to go to couples therapy but it didn’t help because she just wanted a caring, involved husband, but he wanted a perfect housewife. He is not a caring husband not in the ways Ashley wanted. And, Ashley is certainly not a perfect housewife….because she has to work outside of the home (and, let’s be honest, she wants to work for her own sanity).
Ashley asked her friends for advice, but they were all in the same boat. Her mom doesn’t understand because life as a wife is wildly different in 2022 than it was in 1985. She felt as if she had nowhere to turn.
Ashley knew she wasn’t immature! She was ALWAYS seen as the mature kid growing up. Much more mature than her age. But, she didn’t know how hard juggling all of these things would be. She knew something had to change. She tried a lot of different strategies, from exercise and meditation to girl’s nights and solo trips away, but the things she tried never seemed to have a lasting impact.
Ashley started thinking about the logistics of what a divorce would look like a single mom with 50/50 custody of 2 young kids. Trying to date again, with kids. Juggling long hours working and being solely responsible for homework.
Both options staying in her unhappy marriage or getting divorced and becoming a signal mom sound hard. And, scary. And, heartbreaking. But, Ashley can barely stand to be in the same room as her husband some days, so maybe separating is the only option since marriage therapy hasn’t worked.
Things were getting really hard. She was ready to give up. It had to be a sign that nothing was working, right?
What Ashley (and most of my clients) didn’t realize is that marriage therapy is just talking about the surface level stuff the big things that happened that day or the week before. It’s not getting to the root of the problems. The marriage therapist just doesn’t have that kind of time in an hour-long session with 2 people trying to air their own grievances. The marriage therapist, at this point in a relationship, is simply acting as a referee.
As a last ditch effort, Ashley came to see me and we did an RTT session on anger. The biggest takeaway was Ashley realizing the rejection and insecurity she felt as an 8 year old was running her life. When she was 8, she’d wake up in the middle of the night and realize her parents left the house without telling her or her younger siblings. Eight year old Ashley always panicked, being afraid something happened to her parents and felt a heavy weight of responsibility to make sure her siblings were safe. Only to find out the next morning that her parents left to go to the bar after the kids were asleep. Ashley became so resentful of her parents and carried that resentment with her. Ashley formed a belief that all adults are irresponsible and not to be trusted.
Now, Ashley’s husband swoons over her and is the considerate, helpful husband she wanted and needed. Divorce is no longer on the table for Ashley and her husband, but this story is NOT unique. I saw this EVERY DAY as a divorce attorney.
Ironically, Ashley learned that she promised her 8 year old self that she was “never going to be a stupid adult.” She couldn’t help her body from becoming an adult, but her mind and emotions kept that promise. For example, every time her husband mentioned her immaturity, it was like giving a gold star to her subconscious – it was doing its job, helping Ashley keep that promise to herself. Unfortunately, this wasn’t helpful for grown up Ashely, and she wanted to get rid of that belief; she didn’t need it anymore. In fact, Ashley didn’t even realize this belief that followed her. Neither Ashley nor her husband has ever left their home in the middle of the night without a good reason, like to get medicine for an illness that expectedly popped up. During the RTT session, we flipped those beliefs to understand that not all adults are like that, and she can be and is a mature, calm adult, wife, and mother. I also taught her skills to regulate her emotions, be indifferent to criticism that isn’t true, and be able to trust herself and rely on her husband. Her results were immediate. She is now easily able to shift her own actions and reactions, in small simple ways. These shifts gave her husband a newfound excitement about their marriage and family – without Ashley having to do anything to force him to be. Her husband noticed the changes in Ashley almost immediately and followed her lead.
With my divorce clients, before we moved into the divorce process, I would always have a talk with my clients, who were in the same place as Ashley, about how a divorce isn’t going to magically fix all the problems.
She’d still have to deal with her husband, even if they’re divorced if they’re co parenting.
For example, two days after Ashley’s RTT session, she messaged me: “I don’t know what kind of magic wand you have, I feel like a new woman! You smashed all my old beliefs. Beliefs I didn’t even know I had. My thoughts and feelings always felt so tangled up but you helped me untangle them and understand the cause and root of my anger, and realize it’s not applicable to my life anymore. I want to be an adult now mind and body. I’ve felt so relaxed in the days since the RTT session. I’m so gentle with my kids and actually present with them. And, I haven’t snapped, or even rolled my eyes, at my husband once, despite stressful days at work! I’ve finally got my relaxing evenings, eating dinner with my family, winding down from the day, getting homework done, and connecting and having fun together before bed.”
She’s probably going to get into another relationship, only to have similar issues come up. She’d need to make some changes within herself if she wanted a different life. The most common piece of advice I gave my divorce clients was: You have to do different things to have a different life. This was always the hardest part of the divorce process, but it doesn’t have to be. Now that I have RTT as a tool, my clients are able to turn things around for themselves completely.
After Ashley’s RTT Session, we met a few more times to go over some real world examples of how she could become the wife she wanted to be and the mom she always imagined she’d be.
Ashley didn’t REALLY want a divorce… she wanted her dream. To be a mom and a wife, making happy memories out of everyday moments and divorce wasn’t going to get her that. It doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to take years or even months. Ashley got these results, and so much more that wasn’t even included here, in 28 days. That’s IT. 28 Days. From divorce to the dream life. THAT SIMPLE. If you found yourself nodding your head yes, and seeing so much of yourself in Ashley’s story, you’re not alone. While it’s important to know what triggers your anger, if you’re angry or frustrated a lot, it’s probably not something you’re just going to be able to control through effort. It’s probably not something you can even exercise away. It’s hard to utilize anger as a signal if you do not know what it is trying to communicate with you. RTT is the perfect tool to figure it out so you can live a life using anger to your advantage. I’m here to help if you want help getting to the root of your anger.
Healing with Energy
The best version of you Mor Yelvington Energy Healer / Relationship Coach Heal your past. Create your future
When we are born into this world, we come into a family, parents, that already have so much baggage with them Our first language is energy. We feel and understand without words We perceive how others feel and think beyond the words they say. We come into this world and try to fit in. We talk like our mother. We act like our fathers. We align and agree with our friends and teachers We resist and react to our surroundings. We try to be The best version of ourselves. But, What is that? What does that look like? Is it perfect? Is it flawless? Is it who you really are? In this reality, we are told to be the best version of ourselves, but is it really us or is it the best version we see ourselves in the eyes of society? Is it the eyes of your parents? The eyes of your kids? The eyes of your teachers or bosses? Who are the eyes you see yourself through? What version of yourself are you striving to be and for whom?
What if you let yourself be the one and only version of YOU? That is just YOU. The you that is free of judgment. That you that is free from others points of view. Free of confinement The YOU that is so powerful, so free, so open that if you let yourself BE that version of you it will burn down all the limitations you've been living with. As a mom, I often contemplate: "What Is the balance between controlling my kids so they behave correctly in society, and letting them be who they are?
Sometimes I wonder: Who is really the teacher? Me or them? Who is really responsible? Do they feel as responsible for me as I feel responsible for them? I always knew that as a mom I have a responsibility to take care of my kids, but I never thought about responsibility from their perspective. Now twist that how responsible are you for your parents? For their happiness? For their health? For their well being? As a child how much responsibility do you have? Not to let them down? Not to disappoint them? Not to disobey them? To make them proud? To make them happy? To care and love them? You see, when I look at it from a different perspective, kids have so much responsibility for their parents as well. Now the question is how much of these responsibilities do they have? How many of the roles that we take on are really just judgments that were made for us to fit in? What if instead of shaping our kids to fit into this reality, we let them create their own What if we just let them be who they are and accept them for who they are without any judgment or point of view? And what if we did the same for ourselves? What if we didn't judge ourselves anymore? What if the only real responsibility we had was to just be us? You are here for a reason
Mor Yelvington www.morphhealing.com/ @morph healing
Maria is a healer with strong psychic abilities. Her holistic career started as a yoga teacher, working with clients who suffer from anxiety and depression, she specializes in yin and restorative yoga, and Maria attuned herself with reiki soon after, so as to be able to further assist her clients in shifting and moving their energy As she opened up to working more within the energetic field, her physic abilities grew and she was introduced to many different types of spirits; Light beings in particular Maria started to have dreams and visions of her time in different galaxies and on different planets, and it became clear that she is an Arcturian Starseed.
Light Code Healing
One night, as she was going through the divorce from her ex husband, and she found herself in a very dark and lonely place, she asked for guidance One of the Light Beings, the high princess appeared in front of her and informed her that she has a big healing mission on this earth and that she was now stepping into the full potential of her powers She was at that moment given the knowledge of Light Code healing, and the ability to perform this powerful healing modality She is also a channel for healing codes and light language and uses both in her healing sessions Maria is the only one in the world that claims to have this gift, and she is known for the powerful shifts she implements on the souls that she works with. Today she specializes in working with those who have experienced emotional trauma, as light code healing is a rapid way to free you from trauma conditioning and limiting beliefs.
She would then release any deeply rooted emotions held in your physical body and support the elevation of your frequency reconnecting you to your soul star.
Light code healing explained Ascending to earth Each time we ascend to earth we arrive with lessons that we need to learn. These can be lessons of many things, but for example; learning to feel compassion, understand unconditional love, or learn to be independent and realize our inner strength are some common lessons. You will be placed into a timeline/ reality where you will have the opportunity to learn these lessons. Each lesson has its own “soul contract”, and for your soul to evolve each contract has to be learned / “completed”. Your timeline. As you are anchored within a reality where you can work through your soul's contact, you might experience trauma around this contact. Trauma is a powerful teacher. If you do not learn your lesson, your contact does not complete and the experiences will repeat, the same type of people will appear in your reality until you have learned the lesson. Unfortunately, traumatic experiences can create negative beliefs about ourselves and the world around us, and these beliefs will imprint as low vibrational codes into your grids Light Codes For example, if we are in a timeline learning about independence, and living through loss and separation, this can create the belief that we will always lose the people we love, and that love is not safe. This then might lead to us pushing people away or choosing unhealthy relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable as we are scared of true soul connections, out of the fear of losing them.
Your Light Codes are deeply imprinted beliefs from moments of emotional trauma, coding that is negatively affecting your current reality. Our grids are filled with codes around love, relationships, money, abundance, and health.
Finally, she would call back your soul from all timelines where you are still anchored and experiencing the loss, grief, and anger, and heal those emotions.
Healing She would then heal the emotional trauma you have lived through - in this life and past lives, upgrade the Light Codes around love, making you feel safe to love, reminding you that they did not leave because of you and that you are loveable.
We carry codes regarding all aspects of our life: our relationship with food, love, romantic relationships, friendships, and money. All aspects of you, who you are, and what you have been through, are written in the Light Codes within your grids. Your codes appear to Maria as swirling, golden signs anchored into grids, layers of light, on and around your body.”
“Traumatic experiences have the ability to change how we feel about ourselves and the world around us, they can make us adopt negative beliefs. Trauma is not always one big event, it can be small repetitive hurts. These negative beliefs will imprint as “ low vibrational codes” into your grids, and as they build up, they can start to negatively affect your reality, as they become your reality.
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