Business & Professional

s i o n a l f e s P r o & s s n e B u s i

How to Enjoy Yourself, Your Kids, and Your Business Without Guilt this Summer

Iva Perez, Licensed RTTÒ Practitioner- Hypnotherapy

Know how to swap your bundle of ‘bored’ for a bundle of joy using these powerful tips.

Nothing depletes a mom’s energy faster than a bored child. Hearing the words “I’m bored” seems to grate us down to our core, especially while glancing around and noticing all the toys and games your child has at her disposal.

When summertime rolls around, you might panic at the thought of having your child following you around asking for ways to be entertained.

You have a million things to do plus a business to run and cannot be your child’s personal entertainer the whole day. And you shouldn’t!

So how do we effectively get to enjoy the children’s summer break while also keeping your business running?

No, it isn’t. Boredom IS good for kids!

MINDSET SHIFT # 1 Remove the guilt and stress around boredom.

Dear mama, this is a gentle reminder that boredom in our children is not a problem to be fixed.

Just with this one alone, your energy levels should go back up a couple of notches.

Let’s face it. Most times, we’re constantly busy, firing on all cylinders, thinking we need to solve our family ’s problems. We take it upon ourselves to handle everyone’s affairs. Whether it’s solving for the eternal question of “What’s for dinner?” , to helping your spouse find the whatchamacallit that they can’t find, to looking for a lost sock or toy.

So please don’t make boredom another problem that requires solving.

MINDSET SHIFT #2- Stimulate the virtuous cycle of free play

You have emails to send out, calls to make, and things to take care of. Yes, you can pop in a movie, pluck your child in front of an iPad and give yourself those much-needed 15-20 minutes that you need.

But, have you noticed how your child’s level of aggressiveness rises after too much screen time? What about the intensity and quantity of tantrums?

Learning how to navigate the waters of technology regarding our children is a whole subject in and of itself beyond the scope of this article. And I am in no way opposed to technology.

The message here is that we need to be mindful that not all technology is created equal. There’s the M&M kind of technology, and then there’s the Brussel sprout type of technology.

What I will say is this: children don’t need much to enjoy themselves. I’ ve watched my children rip paper and create a winter “ wonderland” while having the best time.

And it is this unstructured time that allows children the opportunity to engage with themselves and the world – to imagine, invent, and create.

When children are left to their own devices, they ’re forced to be more creative and imaginative in finding ways to amuse themselves. So let them.

This also tends to become a virtuous cycle. Because the more that children have to engage in unstructured play, the more they use their imagination and the more creative they become. And at the same time, they start to enjoy being left to their own devices. The more they do it, the more they have to find ways to amuse themselves, so they are forced to be more creative.

As mothers, we’re nurturers by nature. As supermom, we can come to the rescue and provide entertainment to our kids when they call out to us in despair.

BUT when children are forced to find ways to entertain themselves, something magical happens.

By allowing your child to connect to his own feelings, creativity, and imagination, you give them the gift of finding what they genuinely like and enjoy. A child who cannot find his own answers does not develop a true sense of self.

Mindset shift #3- you don’t need to be a referee So you have more than one at home? And you ’re dreading the endless squabbles when they ’re together and how you ’re being constantly interrupted to referee a fight?

Please know this: siblings bond more when they need to entertain themselves together.

Yes, this possibly creates more friction and squabbles than sending them off to a class or course somewhere. With multiple kids, it feels like our job becomes that of a referee handing out metaphorical yellow time-out cards left and right during the day.

But this is the perfect opportunity to foster social competence, respect for rules, self-discipline, aggression control, problem-solving skills, leadership development, conflict resolution, and playing by the rules.

No one, and I mean, NO ONE, is more ruthless in making sure a child learns how to play by the rules and develop some good ol’ problem-solving skills than a sibling is. Is it irritating having to step in to stop squabbles? Then don’t. Unless someone is in real danger or physically hurt, your children can learn to find a solution together if left to their own devices.

It may sound overly simplistic to try and ignore fights and screaming. But just like boredom, the more we interfere, the less likely siblings are forced to find solutions collectively.

So the bottom line on children's boredom? The best way to help your child is to do nothing at all! Children need to figure out how to use their free time or they will never learn how to manage it. That being said, this is a disclaimer that every mom will find her own way to deal with boredom, and there is no right or wrong answer. You need to figure out what works for your child and you within the scope of your own time and professional responsibilities.

As long as what works is coming from a place that gives you peace of mind and makes you feel like an empowered mom and NOT making you feel stressed, anxious, worried, and feeling like you ’re coming up short on all ends.

This is about keeping your Momergy up (aka your unique mom energy). We aim to make the best decisions for our children. But in making those decisions, we need to feel empowered as mothers and businesswomen. That’s the only way to continue showing up as the best version of ourselves in every area of our life.

So kudos to you, mom, for showing up each and every day. You ’ ve got this!

If you feel guided, you can learn to harness the power of your subconscious mind to maximize your potential and productivity this summer and beyond.

Your subconscious mind has the power to help you bring about the results you want in your business and in life

I can help you use your subconscious mind in an effortless way.

Book a complimentary “DROP THE O” Action Plan where we look at your biggest challenge, drop the overwhelm around it, and get you inspired and in the right mindset so you can step through with power in the coming days.

I'll share 5 secrets of the subconscious mind and how to use them to your advantage to start shifting things around.

You leave with a solid plan detailing the rapid steps you can start taking toward your biggest challenge with confidence and ease.

As a Licensed RTT Practitioner- Hypnotherapy, I have studied the science of the mind to help women successfully navigate the overlap between business, work, and family life. Let’s hop on a call today!

Iva Perez

www.themomergymovement.com @momergymovement

The Foundation for Freedom and Balance in Your Life

“Go to bed earlier, let the dishes sit. Go to bed earlier, leave the laundry unfolded. Go to bed earlier, skip the extra tv show. After a few days, start in the mornings…

If they desire better balance in their lives, I am always telling moms the same thing:

“Put YOU first!”

It sounds so selfish and WRONG, but only because we have been conditioned to believe that it is. The best way I can think of to teach it is by example, so here’s a bit of a real-life story.

As a coach, I help mom entrepreneurs step into their big purpose without sacrificing being present with their families… the ULTIMATE balance.

This can look like having the freedom financially and with your time, to make your OWN choices without feeling guilty. When you stand in your own power, and you are revered for it instead of demoralized for your pride in who you are. It can be transforming who YOU are so that the next generation sees better, learns better, desires and DEMANDS better of those surrounding them.

Sometimes, when the support isn’t there, it looks like walking away from a situation you shouldn’t stay in. (Obviously not a rushed decision, but sometimes necessary.)

I recently did just that. And it is and WAS hard, and it was and still is heartbreaking. But I had the opposite of support, understanding, and encouragement. I had neglect, shame, punishment, and blame. I had scorn for following my heart. I had disbelief and sabotage around every effort towards improvement, personal or otherwise. All of these things until it had destroyed every piece of balance or semblance of peace in my life no matter how hard I tried to ‘ make it work.

And so I finally followed my own advice, and I put myself first, and I walked away.

The ripple effect from that is of course, huge, and there is a lot of real life to ‘handle’ with such a choice. But I fully believe that putting myself first wasn’t a selfish act in this situation. My kids' needs are not just food, water, shelter, etc.

There is also the need to see love and compassion. To witness kindness and playfulness. To be led by example and shown what it looks like to step out of their comfort zone for something they believe in. To have a mother who isn’t struggling with her mental health constantly. And so much more.

Brianna Hosack Parenting, Productivity & Accountability Coach

When you put yourself first, you get to CREATE the balance you desire and NEED. This morning, I spent more than an hour before the kids were awake meditating, doing yoga, enjoying HOT coffee, journaling… and so on. I chose to get up early to ‘pour into my own cup’ so that I was overflowing with the energy and joy I desire to show up with as a mother, by the time my kids woke up.

When you put other people first, even your spouse or your children, your outcomes… won’t happen, or at least not nearly often or fast enough.

It’s a hard truth, but I used to ‘hear it’ for getting up early to take care of myself. Even that was a perceived insult by my ‘partner’ . If I had done nothing to step on his toes, I would have done nothing. Ever.

And children are by nature selfish, and it is totally acceptable that they are, so asking them to sacrifice for you to have ‘me time’ just doesn’t work, as I’m sure every mother reading this can agree.

Almost every (exhausted) mother out there hates it when I say this, but an early morning routine is a KEY to having that balance. And yes, you should go to bed earlier to achieve it!

I recently had this conversation with a fellow mom in a business mastermind I am in, and it brought me back to my own rules very quickly. I was confiding that I was struggling to get up early, even though this is my ‘wheelhouse’ . She asked if it might have to do with my evening routine at all, and the lightbulb came on that I had let my evening routines slip!

It truly is all a big circle. Sleep in, start the day rushed and irritable, snap at the kids, put them in a bad mood, get stuck in traffic because you’re running late because they were in a bad mood and not listening, and so on… finally coming home to rush everyone through a late supper, baths and bed, spend hours cleaning and doing the things that ‘should’ have been done all day, don’t have time to connect with the kids or with your spouse, drop into bed exhausted, and late, and start the cycle all over.

It ALL comes down to prioritizing YOU.

Lower the expectations for a while around what the house needs to look like, and go to bed early for a few days. When you are rested enough to feel sane most of the day, add in getting up early and spend some time taking care of YOU first (no, it doesn’t need to be over an hour like me!). Get the kids up on time and with patience, and have everyone eat healthier breakfasts because it’s not a rush, leaving everyone feeling better all day. Leave on time if you leave the house for work or to take the kids to school, get your work done on time, get dinner ready on time, etc. all the way until it becomes easier to get to bed on time.

I promise you that if you do this:

you will begin to have enough energy to get the housework AND the business work done. your kids will stop complaining about the healthier food eventually your kids and partner will start being more willing to help with things at home because your approach to the issue will be different. you will have more time. You just will.

…It becomes the unshakeable foundation for stronger relationships with your children (and spouse, especially if they are more supportive than mine was!); it becomes the basis for a cleaner, happier home. It becomes the thing you know deep down that supports you through having to pause at the end of a day of working on your dreams. It keeps you grounded when you start flying towards the things that light you up, your passions.

…It keeps you supported when you don’t want to be doing what you’re doing, and makes you feel lighter and happier all around.

And so, I keep droning on and on about it!

Put. Yourself. First. Every time. Even just for two minutes of deep breathing so you can be calm. Do it again and again and again.

And when you ‘fall off the wagon’ and forget to do it for a while, just start again. Go to bed earlier, and let the dishes sit. Go to bed earlier, and leave the laundry unfolded. Go to bed earlier, and skip the extra tv show. After a few days, start in the mornings again. Rinse and repeat.

Nobody escapes starting over sometimes; I teach it, and I still need reminders sometimes. Don’t give up. You’ve got this, Mama. You matter. Now it’s time to prove that to yourself.

Brianna Hosack

www.thecalminspiredmama.com @TheCalm-InspiredMama