The hospital staff wish to express their sincere sympathy to you and your family at this sad and difficult time.
We want to help you as much as we can and we hope that this booklet will provide you with helpful information about what happens after a death.
Please don’t hesitate to ask questions if you are unclear about any matter.
The death of a close relative or friend may be hard to come to terms with, whether you have known for some time that it was near, or whether it has been sudden and unexpected. Grieving is normal and natural and affects people differently. As well as dealing with your grief you are also faced with many things that need to be done.
The Bereavement Team will provide advice and assistance. They will provide you with information and support regarding viewing your loved one, if desired, the necessary administrative responsibilities and advice regarding funeral arrangements. They can also give you information on helping children through grief and give you information on specialist agencies.
What to do first
You should telephone the Bereavement Team after 11am the following working day Tel: 0161 276 8989
Location of Bereavement Centre
The Adult Bereavement Centre is based on the ground floor on the Rehab Corridor (opposite Supportive and Palliative Care and opposite the entrance to Wards 30, 31 and 32) in Manchester Royal Infirmary, Oxford Road, Manchester M13 9WL. Please enter Manchester Royal Infirmary by Entrance 1 on Nelson Street. Once you have entered the hospital, please turn right and proceed along the ground floor to Junction 3 where you will see signs for the Adult Bereavement Centre.
Arranging a Funeral
You should contact a Funeral Director of your choice. The Funeral Director will give you the help and advice that you need and will help you to make all the arrangements for the funeral, whether burial or cremation. It may be helpful to find out if there is a Will as it may contain the deceased person’s own requests. You may know a reputable Funeral Director, or your family and friends may suggest one to you. Local firms are usually listed in Yellow Pages, Thomson Local Directory or via internet searches. Costs vary so you may wish to contact or visit more than one. If you wish to make your own funeral arrangements, without the assistance of a Funeral Director, please discuss this with the Bereavement Centre staff who will be able to provide further information.
Personal Belongings and Valuables
If you are in the hospital when your relative or friend dies, the nursing staff will return all belongings to you before you leave the hospital. In the event that you are not in the hospital when your friend or relative dies, please contact the ward and arrange a time to collect these.
Personal possessions are kept on the ward for up to a month. After that time, the Trust will dispose of any uncollected belongings. Any cash or valuables are taken by the ward to Cashiers, and you can collect them from the Cashiers Office located in Corbett House.
Any jewellery left on your loved one when they are transferred to the Mortuary can be removed by your Funeral Director once they are released from the hospital.
Hospital site map
Registering the Death
The Bereavement Team will arrange for a doctor to complete a referral to the Medical Examiner or HM Coroner before the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death can be issued. This process can take a few days, or possibly longer if the death occurred over the weekend or bank holiday. When you call the Bereavement Team, they will provide you with a full update.
Once the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death has been issued by the doctor it will be emailed to the Register Office; you do not have to attend the hospital. We will telephone you to inform you when this has been completed. You will then need to make an appointment with the Register Office. See page 6.
Manchester Registration Service
Heron House
47 Lloyd Street
Manchester M2 5LE
Tel: 0161 234 5005
Email: registeroffice@manchester.gov.uk
Website: www.manchester.gov.uk
Open Monday to Friday 8:30am – 3:30pm (except on the first Tuesday of each month when they close at 2:30pm)
A death should normally be registered within five days unless the Coroner is investigating the circumstances surrounding the death. If it is not possible to book an appointment to register within five days of the death, you should book the earliest appointment you can.
Booking an Appointment
It is essential that you only book an appointment once the Bereavement Team has confirmed that they have emailed the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death to the Register Office, or the Coroner’s Office has confirmed that the Coroner paperwork has been issued to the Register Office. Without this crucial documentation the Register Office will not be able to register the death.
To book an appointment to see a Registrar, to complete the death registration, please book an appointment online.
Please visit: www.manchester.gov.uk/registrars and then click ‘Register a Death’
If you need help booking the appointment online please ask your Funeral Director to assist.
Death Certificates
When you book an appointment to register a death you will be able to pre-pay for any death certificates you require at the time of booking the appointment online. During the booking process you will be required to select the number of certificates you want the Registrar to issue and enter your credit or debit card details at the time of booking the appointment to make payment. If you don’t pre-pay for the certificate you will still have an option to pay by card on the day of the appointment. Unfortunately, the registrars do not take cash payments.
Who can register the death?
It is the responsibility of the next of kin (or the person arranging the funeral) to register the death within five working days. This does not apply if the Coroner is involved. The death can be registered by:
• A family member
• A person present at the death
• The person organising the funeral
• The occupier/owner of premises where the death took place
• Hospital administrator or the person responsible for funeral arrangements (not a Funeral Director)
The Registrar will require (if available):
• The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (sent from the Hospital)
• Date of death
• Place of death
• Name and surname of the deceased at the time of death
• Sex
• Maiden surname of woman who was married
• Date of birth
• Occupation
• Usual address
• The full name and occupation of the deceased’s spouse (if any)
The Registrar will provide you:
• A certificate for the Funeral Director (green form)
• Death Certificate (if this has been paid for at the time of booking the appointment)
• A Tell-Us-Once reference in order to report the death to government and council departments.
Medical Examiner System
The purpose of the Medical Examiner system is to provide a means of appropriate scrutiny of all deaths not reported to the Coroner and a point of contact for bereaved families to raise concerns about the care provided prior to death of a loved one. Medical Examiners are senior Consultants working within the Trust but who give independent advice about what caused the death.
Medical Examiners and their staff (usually called Medical Examiner Officers) offer families and carers of the person who has died an opportunity to raise questions or concerns about the causes of death, or about the care the person received before their death. This will usually be through a telephone call, or sometimes a meeting. They can explain what medical terminology means and make it easier to understand. Medical Examiners also look at the relevant medical records and discuss the causes of death with the doctor filling in the official form, the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.
If you wish to contact the Medical Examiner Office, please telephone 0161 701 6686.
Medical Examiners make every effort to avoid any delays and work with families and carers of the person who died to meet the legal requirements for registering deaths.
Cases notified to the Coroner
There are occasions when a death will need, by law, to be reported to the Coroner. You will be advised if this is necessary. If a death is referred to the Coroner, it may take the Coroner up to seven working days (excluding weekends and bank holidays) to issue a decision.
If you wish to contact the Coroner directly, please telephone 0161 219 2222 or via email coroners.office@manchester. gov.uk
This may delay the issuing of a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death and may, therefore, delay the registration of death.
In some circumstances the Coroner requests a postmortem. When a post-mortem is requested by the Coroner this, by law, must take place. The consent of the next of kin is not required.
Once the Coroner takes responsibility for a death all further information will be provided by the Coroner’s staff.
A member of the Bereavement Team will be able to explain this to you if required.
When a death has been reported to the Coroner you may still contact a Funeral Director to begin the funeral arrangements.
Please remember that you will not be able to confirm funeral arrangements until the death has been registered and the Death Certificate has been issued as both the Doctor and Registrar can refer a death to the Coroner.
Visiting your Loved One
It is quite common for relatives to wish to visit a loved one after death. The Adult Mortuary has a dedicated visiting suite for you to spend time with your loved one before they are taken to your chosen Funeral Director. Visits are available by appointment only for immediate next of kin. Mortuary staff request that extended family and friends spend time with your loved one at your chosen Funeral Director.
Visiting a loved one after death at hospital involves seeing your loved one before they have been specially prepared for visits by a Funeral Director. The Mortuary staff will prepare your loved one with the utmost respect and dignity.
There may be occasions where visiting your loved one is not possible; the Mortuary staff or Funeral Director will discuss this with you.
Appointments are for 30 minutes. Please allow enough time to park before your appointment. During normal working hours appointments are arranged by contacting the Adult Mortuary on 0161 276 4476.
The Adult Mortuary provides an on-call service for all out of hours mortuary enquires. It may be possible to visit outside of the routine opening hours of the Mortuary.
Please be aware that staff are not on site outside routine hours and will require advance notice. Such requests should be made through the hospital switchboard and cannot always be accommodated.
Tel: 0161 276 1234 and ask to speak to the on-call Adult Mortuary staff member.
Donation of Tissue
Did your loved one ever discuss wanting to help others after their death?
Tissue donation is the gift of donating tissue to transform the lives of thousands of severely injured people. There are many kinds of tissue that can be donated after death including skin, tendons, bone, heart valves and eyes. The donation needs to take place 24-48 hours after death has occurred.
Unlike organ donation, almost anyone can be considered for tissue donation. In order to make the donation as safe as possible, a specialist nurse will contact you and ask some questions regarding your loved one’s medical and lifestyle history.
As many as 50 people can be helped by the donation from one person. If you would like further information, please call The National Tissue Referral Centre on pager 0800 432 0559 who will advise on referrals and provide advice regarding tissue donation.
Only those tissues for which you have given permission will be donated. Thank you so much for considering tissue donation.
Telling People about the Death
You will need to tell other people about your loved one or friend’s death. This can often be very difficult. You may get very upset and be unsure who to tell and what to say.
You may feel that you want to tell people yourself, but this can be tiring and emotional, so don’t feel you have to do it all. You could contact key people and ask them to let other people in their group of family members know. You may find it useful to start by writing a list of people you need, or would like, to contact and how you want to contact them. Using an address book, mobile phone or social networking site may help you make a list.
You may also find it helpful to think about what you want to say and write it down before you contact people. There is no right or wrong way to tell people, but the following sentence might be a starting point: “I’m sorry to say I have some very sad news (name of person) has been ill for some time/was suddenly taken ill and died earlier today/this week.’’
One of the ways you might consider telling people about your loved one’s death is by using an online tribute website, such as Much Loved. Certain circumstances may mean that you can’t say goodbye to family and friends as you would wish to. With the cost of funerals rising, some families are opting not to have a service or funeral. Much Loved creates a special, dedicated place where you can share the words you wanted to say and remember and celebrate your loved one. They offer individual tribute pages and shared dedication pages.
You can create your own special memorial website in tribute to your loved one, where you can share memories, thoughts and stories with family and friends as well as light candles, add music, photos and videos. You can also collect fundraising donations for a special charity or project in their name, organise events, celebrate anniversaries –and much more. They even have Remembrance Gardens: a collection of virtual gardens to help you commemorate loved ones.
www.muchloved.com
Telling official agencies and organisations
Once the death has been registered, the Registrar will add the details of your friend or relative onto the Tell Us Once database. The Registrar will then give you a unique number relating to your friend or relative. You will need to visit the Tell Us once website (www.gov.uk/tell-us-once) or call 0800 085 7308 and use the unique reference number provided along with a few other details about them including ideally National Insurance number. This service will notify a range of government departments of the death all in one go, saving you having to ring lots of different departments. The Registrar will send you more information about this service after registering the death.
Financial Help
If you receive certain benefits e.g. Universal Credit, you can apply to the Government for a Funeral Expenses Payment to help pay for the costs of the funeral. You can download the form at www.gov.uk/funeral-payments/eligibility or call 0800 731 0469.
There are many other possible sources of financial help. Information about charitable grants can be found online. For example, you can search www.funeralguide.co.uk/helpresources/arranging-a-funeral/help-with-funeral-costs
www.turn2us.org.uk
Social Media and Memorialised Accounts
After a death, you may be considering what to do with property and other physical assets, but you may not always consider the vast collection of emails, social media profiles, pictures and music that are left online. These may include important memories and communities of people that were close to your loved one but may not have had the chance to attend the funeral. These sites, particularly social media sites, can become an important source of support and a way for families and friends to create a durable biography during bereavement. This sharing of stories, photos and memories are a source of comfort for many and for others may cause distress, particularly if these sites become a place for trolling (people who do not know the deceased and leave disturbing comments). It’s a very personal decision how you handle these types of accounts after death. Maintaining and adjusting privacy settings is important.
You may wish to post a death notice online as a way of telling more people about your loss. In this case you should try to make sure that all close relatives and friends have been informed before anyone adds messages to a public memorial such as Facebook; this can be a distressing way of finding out about a death.
Facebook, Instagram or Google have a range of methods to deal with the death of their users (see below). You can get information about this from their individual websites. This may help you decide what to do with the content on social media sites.
Facebook and Instagram
You can delete the person’s profile or choose to memorialise and set up a legacy page with a named contact person. This legacy contact can take responsibility for the memorialised profile. More information can be found at Facebook and Instagram help centres: www.facebook.com/help/search/?query=memorialised%20 accounts
Twitter can assist by deactivating or deleting the account but cannot allow someone else to take over the management of the account. Help around Twitter accounts can be found at: help.twitter.com/en/rules-and-policies/contact-twitter-abouta-deceased-family-members-account
Google
Google offers an ‘Inactive Account Manager’ service which gives the family some rights to obtain data from the person’s accounts, close accounts and to request funds from their accounts: support.google.com/accounts/ troubleshooter/6357590?hl=en
Email Accounts, Memberships and other online accounts
Email accounts and memberships to online music providers may also need to be considered. Each provider will have its own specific way of managing what happens after one of its users dies. You might wish to take time or seek the assistance of a relative or friends to help address these matters.
Emotional Support
Emotional Aspects of Grief
The death of a loved one is an experience that we all face at some time in our lives. Grieving takes place after any sort of loss but most powerfully after the death of someone we love. To mourn deeply for someone we have loved is entirely normal.
Bereavement is a very distressing experience that is a very individual journey. You may experience very different emotions and feelings at different times. There is no right or wrong way and there is no set timescale to the process of grieving.
People often experience feelings of numbness, disbelief, denial, shock, anger, agitation, bargaining, pining, yearning, depression, guilt and, hopefully, acceptance. Most people will begin to adjust within one to two years.
Even when death comes at the end of a long illness, where it was expected, you are still likely to be left in a state of shock. This may leave you feeling completely numb. You may even find it hard to cry. It is important to acknowledge and express your feelings. It is part of a natural and healing process.
You may feel some or all of the following:
• Guilt
• Panic
• Self-pity
• Anger (even with the deceased)
• A sense of despair
You may also find that feelings about previous losses come to the surface. It is important to remember that these feelings and reactions may come and go during bereavement.
Your feelings may change from hour to hour and from day to day. One day you may feel you are coping. The next day you may be overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and loneliness. It is quite normal to have ups and downs like this.
You may continue to have days when you feel overwhelmed by grief for many months and sometimes years.
As time goes on, most people will begin to adjust and have more good days than bad. They find they start to have times when their feelings are less intense, and they can begin to look to the future.
Life will never be the same again following the death of a loved one or friend, but it can continue and be fulfilling in a different way.
The Multi-faith Chaplaincy Team:
Providing Spiritual and Religious Support
The Chaplaincy Team is led by trained professionals in healthcare chaplaincy and assisted by trained volunteers from various faiths and denominations.
Chaplains are part of the clinical team in the hospital and specifically offer emotional support to people of all faiths and none. They also offer religious guidance and advice after a patient has died.
If you would like to see one of the Chaplains, please let a member of the Bereavement Team know or contact the Chaplaincy and Spiritual Care department. They are available for support daily between 8am and 4pm and are available for urgent support at other times.
Tel: 0161 276 8792 or via the hospital switchboard on 0161 276 1234.
You can email the Chaplaincy Team at chaplain@mft.nhs.uk
Bereavement Support
As part of the on-going bereavement support that has been developed by the Trust, Memorial Services are held each year, in person and online. Every next of kin, family representative or carer who has lost a loved one has the opportunity to attend a Memorial Service at least once following their bereavement, usually after a period of six to twelve months.
When you initially contact the bereavement office, the information you provide may be used to invite you to a Memorial Service.
The Memorial Service is designed as an opportunity to remember a loved one in a simple ceremony. The service involves words, music, poems and the lighting of a candle and is suitable for people of all faiths or world views.
For more information about the Memorial Services please contact the Multi Faith Chaplaincy Team Tel: 0161 276 8792.
Physical Aspects of Grief
Many bereaved people feel strained and physically run down. Grief is time consuming and exhausting.
Many bereaved people experience some or all of the following symptoms:
• Breathlessness
• Palpitations, tightness in the chest and throat
• Exhaustion
• Loss of appetite or overeating
• Sleep problems
• Symptoms similar to those of the person who has died
It is always important to share with your doctor any anxieties about such symptoms in order to gain reassurance.
Children and Bereavement
As adults we feel the need to protect our children from things that we might find difficult. It is easy to assume children will not understand death and bereavement, or that it will be too upsetting for them. However, we often underestimate a child’s ability to cope. Children, like adults, find it harder to cope if they are not told what is happening and can be more frightened by their own imagination.
Children should be told facts in a simple manner using appropriate words, such as dead, rather than lost or asleep. They should be given time to ask questions and offered lots of love and reassurance. It is helpful for adults to share feelings with children, such as feelings of sadness.
Remember children often like to draw pictures or write stories as part of their way of saying goodbye. If children are at school, it is important to tell school about the bereavement.
Children, like adults, are individuals and will grieve in a variety of ways depending on their age and maturity. They may also need extra comfort and support. Sometimes they may appear to temporarily regress to earlier stages of behaviour. It is important to listen to their fears and anxieties at any stage.
Children may have a strong need to say their goodbyes, just as adults do. The funeral is an important last opportunity to do this. Whenever possible, children should be encouraged to make their own decision about attending the funeral. This decision may vary from child to child, even within the same family. It is important to be truthful with all explanations to children and to give simple explanations beforehand about the funeral.
Further bereavement support for children and adults supporting bereaved children is available from:
Winston’s Wish
Tel: 08088 020 021
Website: www.winstonswish.org
Young Minds
Tel: 0808 802 5544
Website: www.youngminds.org.uk
Muslim Youth Helpline (MYH)
Tel: 0808 808 2008
Website: www.myh.org.uk
Bereavement Advice
Tel: 0808 168 9607
Website: www.bereavementadvice.co.uk
Grief Encounter
Tel: 0808 802 0111
Website: www.griefencounter.org.uk
Riprap
Online support for young people
Website: www.riprap.org.uk
Child Bereavement UK
Tel: 0800 028 8840
Website: www.childbereavementuk.org
Cruse Bereavement Care
Website: www.cruse.org.uk
Youth website: www.hopeagain.org.uk
Tel: 0808 808 1677
General Advice
Bereavement is a very difficult time and sometimes people are unsure what to do and how to feel. It is important not to bottle up feelings and to remember that it can be helpful to express your emotions. It is alright to feel a need to talk about what has happened.
It is easy to forget about looking after yourself, so try to remember that you need time to sleep and rest and think. Remember to be gentle with yourself. It is normal to find some days more difficult than others. It is normal to take time to overcome your grief. There is no fixed time that it takes to get over your loss. It may be helpful to take some time after a bereavement before you make any major life changes.
If you feel that you have any unanswered questions in relation to the events prior to the death and feel that you would like to discuss these please contact the Bereavement Team.
Useful Organisations
Age UK
Tel: 0800 678 1602
Website: www.ageuk.org.uk
Bereavement Support – Stop Mail
Tel: 0808 168 9607
Website: www.stopmail.co.uk
By registering with this free service, the name and address of the deceased is removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail
Child Death Helpline
Tel: 0800 282 986
Website: www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk
Compassionate Friends
14 New King Street, Deptford, London SE8 3HS
Tel: 0345 123 2304
(Open 10 am – 4 pm, 7 – 10pm every day)
Website: www.tcf.org.uk
Offers support for bereaved parents of all ages
Cruse Bereavement Care
Tel: 0808 808 1677
Website: www.cruse.org.uk
Department for Work and Pensions (DWP)
Tel: 0800 731 0469 Mon – Fri 8am – 5pm
Listen, press 9 and then press 2 for bereavement
Website: www.gov.uk
Dying Matters
Website: www.dyingmatters.org
Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service
Tel: 0208 951 3881
Website: www.jbcs.org.uk
Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline
Tel: 0300 330 0630
Website: www.switchboard.lgbt
Macmillan Cancer Support
Tel: 0808 808 0000
Website: www.macmillan.org.uk
Miscarriage Association
Tel: 01924 200 799 (Mon – Fri 9am – 4pm)
Website: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors
Tel: 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726 777
Website: www.saif.org.uk
National Association of Funeral Directors
Tel: 0121 711 1343
Website: www.nafd.org.uk
Roadpeace
Tel: 0800 160 1069
Website: www.roadpeace.org
Provides support to those bereaved in a road crash
Samaritans
72/74 Oxford St, Manchester
Tel: 116 123 (free from any phone)
Tel: 0330 094 5717 (local charges apply)
Website: www.samaritans.org/branches/manchester
A voluntary organisation which offers a listening ear
National charity run by the widowed for men and women
widowed aged 50 or under
“Whilst the Trust is grateful for the support of companies advertising, we stress that any inclusion of any advertisement in this booklet does not imply approval or recommendation of the advertisers by the Trust, nor does the Trust necessarily support the product advertised.”
Review date: April 2026
Publication date: April 2024
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
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stopping mail
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
