How do I tell my child’s brothers and sisters, and what support is there for them? Children’s understanding of death changes as they grow and develop a greater understanding of the world in which they live. Like adults, children grieve in many ways and may experience a range of emotions following the death of a loved one. Infants Infants have no understanding of death but from an early age will sense that an important person is missing. They may cry more and older infants may search for the person who has died. Pre-school age children Young children begin to develop an interest in the idea of death but cannot understand the permanence of it. They may show a lack of emotion or ask lots of questions. They often ask when the person who has died will return as they expect them to do so. Young children may have disrupted sleep, show changes in behaviour and regression in development. It is important to provide honest answers but avoid explanations that can be misunderstood, for example ‘they have gone to sleep’. Primary School age children Children of this age begin to understand that death is permanent and irreversible. Not being given sufficient information can lead children to ‘fill in the gaps’ with their imagination. They can become anxious about their own and other’s safety. At this age children need honest answers which can be built upon over time. They need opportunities to express their concerns and feelings to a trusted adult.
10
