Introduction

We are very sorry that someone close to you has died or that you have been told to expect that they may die soon. Whatever the circumstances, we recognise that this is likely to be an extremely distressing time. We hope that you find the information in this guide helpful both now and/or in the future.

After a bereavement, it can be difficult to know what to expect even if someone close to you has died before. You might be feeling a lot of different emotions, or be feeling numb and disconnected. There is no right or wrong way to be thinking or feeling at the moment. When people feel like they are doing particularly “badly” or that their pain is a sign of “losing it” or a failure to cope, then it is likely that their distress will be even greater. Everyone experiences dying, death and grief in very different ways.

This guide provides information on the range of responses experienced by people who are grieving. We hope that, if you feel that what is happening to you is “normal” in the context of grief, you may avoid adding an extra layer of distress to your experience. We also hope that it will offer some advice on how to help yourself negotiate any particular difficulties and signpost you to additional sources of help if you feel that you need more.

You do not need to read this guide in order. We have occasionally repeated information so that each section is complete for those who do not read the whole guide.