Regret, guilt and shame

If you are worried that anger might be negatively affecting your behaviour – if you are becoming aggressive to others, for example - there is a list of services that can quickly and effectively support you at the back of this guide. Asking for help when you are struggling with something is a sign of strength, not of weakness.

Regret, guilt and shame

It is common to feel that perhaps we could have done more prior to someone’s death and to go over whether it might have turned out differently if we had made different decisions. It may also be that you feel that you “should” have invested more in the relationship prior to their death; this may be particularly difficult if key working/caring responsibilities or government guidelines around distancing during this pandemic have meant you saw the person who died less than you might have done previously or you prioritised your time differently prior to their death.

Try to bring self-compassion to these thoughts and be kind to yourself; you have been doing your best in very challenging circumstances. If you are feeling overwhelmed with thoughts that the death is somehow your fault or that the way you acted before or after their death says something terrible about you as a person, for example - there is a list of services that can quickly and effectively support you at the back of this guide.