September 22nd, 2021 (Vol. XXXIV, Is. II) - Binghamton Review

BINGHAMTON REVIEW Editor-in-Chief Contents

P.O. BOX 6000 BINGHAMTON, NY 13902-6000 EDITOR@BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM

Founded 1987 • Volume 0000, Issue I Matt Gagliano

Managing Editor Madeline Perez Copy Desk Chief Joe Badalamenti

Business Manager Charles Forman

Social Media Shitposter Arthur O’Sullivan

Editor Emeritus Jake Schweitzer

Staff Writers

Dillon O’Toole Siddharth Gundapaneni

Contributors Jack Kralik Lucas Krueger

Special Thanks To:

Intercollegiate Studies Institute Collegiate Network Binghamton Review was printed by Gary Marsden We Provide the Truth.

He Provides the Staples

HIGHER EDUCATION OR INDOCTRINATION?

PAGE 6

by Jack Kralik 3 Editorial

by Matt Gagliano 4 Press Watch

by Our Staff 5 Advice Column

by Madeline Perez 7 Isn’t it Ironic?

by Matt Gagliano 8 The Heart of a Binghamton Scholar, According to Harvey Stenger

by Anonymous 9 What is an NFT, and What are the Risks Behind

by Charles Forman it?

10 School Choice Can’t Wait Any Longer

by Siddharth Gundapaneni 12 Mass COVID Testing was a Mistake

by Joe Badalamenti

by Dillon O’Toole 13 What Makes a Fan? 14 How did Biden’s Presidency go so Wrong?

by Lucas Krueger 15 Which E-Board Member Are You?

by Our Staff

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! Direct feedback to editor@binghamtonreview.com 2

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Vol. XXXIV, Issue II

EDITORIAL Dear Readers,

From the Editor

As you can probably tell by the covers, Binghamton Review is once again homeless. That’s right, this is the third time in my three years with this publication that our office has been taken from us. The reason that we lost our office is because all of the Old Rafuse building is now being used as quarantine housing, however we were locked out of our office with no notice, and without being able to get any of our stuff that was stored in our office.

Luckily, after a few emails, we were able to retrieve our computers, which is how we produced this wonderful issue that you’re currently reading, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little pissed that this keeps happening to us. We use our office fairly often, and it’s really annoying that the University has no problem taking it from us without notice and without providing us a new space to use while our old space is inaccessible. So, if any higher ups at Binghamton University are reading this, and you have the power to get us a new office, please help us out. You would have my eternal gratitude, and also some extra cash *wink wink*.

Speaking of Binghamton University higher ups, if you want to read more about the highest up of Binghamton University, check out “The Heart of a Binghamton Scholar, According to Harvey Stenger” on page 8. I hope this doesn’t put a strain on our friendship Harvey. If you feel like there’s some strain on your friendships lately, maybe you should consider sending in a question to our advice column. Madeline Perez takes the time to respond to your questions in a very serious manner, as you can see on page 5. If you’re interested in sending in a question for our advice column, send an email to manager@binghamtonreview.com, and your question could be featured in the next issue! If you’re looking for more Binghamton University related news, I highly recommend Jack Kralik’s “Higher Education or Indoctrination?” on page 6. He discusses a book that was distributed to incoming freshmen by the University this summer, and the problems associated with it.

If you’re looking for more fun content, then you should probably check out the “Which E-Board member are you” quiz on page 15. This super official, not a Buzzfeed rip off, quiz will definitively determine which member of the Binghamton Review E-Board you would’ve been, if you were lucky enough to be born as one of us. There’s also my article “Isn’t it Ironic” on page 7, where I take a deep dive into irony to answer a question that Alanis Morissette has been asking us for decades.

To conclude this editorial: GIVE US AN OFFICE DAMMIT!

Sincerely,

Matt Gagliano Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run news magazine of conservative thought founded in 1987 at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. The mark of true maturity is being able to engage with these perspectives rationally while maintaining one’s own convictions. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free and open exchange of ideas and offer alternative viewpoints not normally found or accepted on our predominately liberal campus.

We stand against tyranny in all of its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness and cultural authoritarianism that dominates this university. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage with, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.

Views expressed by writers do not necessarily represent the views of the publication as a whole. editor@binghamtonreview.com

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CPampus resswatch “All cops are bad in a broken system” Colin Mangan, Pipe Dream, 09/09/21 “When we say ‘all cops are bad,’ we mean that all police officers, without exception, are knowingly complicit in upholding a system which dehumanizes and subjugates people of color, people with disabilities and other historically oppressed groups” It’s the second sentence of the first paragraph of an article in the first “issue” of Pipe Dream and there is NO FUCKING OXFORD COMMA! Seven times in the entire article!!!!!!! No wonder you guys went broke.

“According to a May 2000 U.S. Department of Justice report, 84 percent of police officers said they have witnessed police officers in their department use “more force than is necessary” to make an arrest, and yet 61 percent of the time, fail to report said incident. A May 2019 report by the American Economic Journal “reviewed 50,000 allegations of officer misconduct in Chicago and found that officers with extensive complaint histories were disproportionately more likely to be named subjects in civil rights lawsuits,” and yet departments “fail to adequately investigate” said abuses.”

One of the author’s main sources of evidence for all police being bad/the system being broken consists of a report by the U.S. Department of Justice from over 20 years ago and a more relevant report isolated to a single city, Chicago. How, exactly, does this prove your main argument that ALL police are bad or that “the system” is broken? Yes, the statistics are troubling, yet their use in the article is flawed for the overall point you’re trying to make.

“It is reflected in police unions’ opposition to any kind of meaningful reform effort and support for the most overtly racist elements in American political life, in the daily brutalization of Black and brown communities, in the widespread violence against people with disabilities and the economically impover-

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Written by our Staff

We know you don’t read the other campus publications, so we did it for you. Original pieces are in quotes, our responses are in bold.

ished and in the near-total absence of accountability, with “98.3 percent of killings by police from 2013-2020 [not resulting] in officers being charged with a crime,” according to Mapping Police Violence.”

Two problems with the statistic provided in this argument. Firstly, you seem to imply that police officers are overtly targeting the parts of society that you listed, yet the 98.3% statistic doesn’t provide information regarding this. Secondly, the statistic does not provide the circumstances that led to the killings by police from 2013 to 2020. Was the police officer involved in a shootout with a suspect or did the police officer kill someone who posed no threat? Again, the number provided does not give indication of this, meaning it is difficult to know if such officers are to be charged with a crime or were engaging in self-defense.

“While the goals of abolition and a more just, equitable society have yet to be achieved, movements such as Black Lives Matter have successfully brought the structural nature of these issues into the forefront and have laid bare the inherently racist and violent nature of these injustices.”

So then how do we get that “more just, equitable society”? For all the enthusiasm of declaring “all cops are bastards”, the article doesn’t show how such a proposed society without law enforcement can exist. While this article has advocated for the abolition of policing, it has failed to propose a valid alternative to the current system. This article is as low quality as the Wix website it’s on.

“Editorial: Delta: the gift that keeps on giving” Pipe Dream Editorial Board, Pipe Dream, 09/13/21 “Following such glaring oversight, students are left with one question: where did all the University infrastructure go?”

Given the availability of vaccines, combined with the known benefits of natural immunity on those who have previously had COVID, one would expect that such infrastructure is not needed or unnecessary.

“Instead, students are simply asking for the same care and consideration at this stage of the pandemic that we knew the University was capable of at its beginning” Translation: keep every COVID precaution such as mask requirement, social distancing, and more, in place until COVID is completely eradicated, meaning indefinitely.

Vol. XXXIV, Issue II

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ADVICE COLUMN

Advice Column

By Madeline Perez

A

s you may know from the last issue, I offered to give you all life advice. These were your questions.

Is there a secret relationship between Baxter and Harvey?

Very interesting inquiry. I assume you mean romantically, and in that case, I must sadly say no. However, it is true that a secret relationship between Baxter and Harvey exists. You see, Baxter is actually an extension of Harvey. Harvey wished to be a perfect being, so he broke off a rib and channeled all of his negative, animalistic, feral energy into it. That rib grew sentience and turned into a furry. Sadly, the experiment went haywire and Baxter was too strong to be contained in the University Undergrounds; he broke out and has been mauling female students ever since.

Is there a Santa Claus?

Yes, I’ve been hunting him for years. Next question.

Is a little kissing between friends acceptable? Would you be interested in a little kissing between friends?

Put simply, yes. A little kissing between friends has always been acceptable. Kissing is the best way to show mutual, platonic friendship. In fact, kissing the homies goodnight (on the mouth) is a crucial nighttime ritual. Now, would I be interested in a little kissing between friends? That depends. Did you brush your teeth first?

How do I cockblock my roommate so that I have a place to sleep at night?

Well, you have a couple of choices here. You could decorate your shared space with Funko pops. Nothing repels possible sexual partners as quickly and efficiently, but that could get pricey quite fast. Another free, easy option would be spreading news that your roommate writes for Binghamton Review. This will guarantee your roommate will never have sex. Lastly, you could sleep with your roommate. That way you can simultaneously stay in your room and create something beautiful.

What do I say to my mom, who left my dad for another man, when she asks me to come to her rapidly approaching wedding?

Nothing. Just keep it inside and let it fuel your late-night scientific research. Find the secret to human transmutation. Perform illegal alchemy. Create a new mother. Surely, nothing bad will

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come of this.

How do I get laid?

Have you seen our Sex Survey? You’re asking the wrong people, champ.

How is one to break out of the cyclical nature of one’s own self-destructive behaviors?

I’ve asked myself this question many times myself, but I’m glad to say I finally have the answer. Stick with me here. You’re going to want to invest in a spray bottle. Fill that bottle with the liquid you hate most; piss is a great option. Now, every time you feel yourself slipping into self-destructive behaviors, just locate your spray bottle and squirt yourself directly in the face. It’s ok if it gets in your mouth; it encourages stopping the behavior.

This is something I invented I’d like to call “instrumental conditioning” How do I get my roommate to stop trying to cockblock me?

Have an honest, sincere discussion with him. Talk about how his actions have been affecting your life and try to reach a fair compromise. Or you could fuck your roommate. I’m sure if you show them how it feels and they’ll want to share it with everyone.

How do I become a happier person?

Step 1. Get as far away from Binghamton as you possibly can.

Step 2. Help us escape.

Step 3 Never return.

I’m struggling to come up with questions for my advice column. What should I do?

Hmmm. Wish I could help, but you’ve actually stuped me here.

Sorry, I guess there are some questions I can’t answer.

You’re my very favorite college publication! How do I submit my articles to Binghamton Review?

Great question! You can email your articles directly to Editor@ binghamtonreview.com. I’d love to read them. I love you.

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HIGHER EDUCATION OR INDOCTRINATION?

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Higher Education or Indoctrination?

By Jack Kralik

T

his year, Binghamton distributed the book Conditional Citizens by Laila Lalami to the incoming freshman class. This is not a book review, but an objective examination of Binghamton choosing to deliver this book to students with its clear political bias.

What does this say about the objective nature of the University? And further, what does this say about the nature of our time and education here at Binghamton?

It is necessary to consider the difference between education and indoctrination. It posits for us a difficult, and in many ways entirely subjective, determination. We must, as a basic function, discern what knowledge is appropriate, in the given environment, to be passed down to students. Yet this rises above the simple and arbitrary task of the information’s objective validity. It is objectively true that there are 195 countries in the world, but that information would be appropriate to teach in a geography class, not an economics class. Likewise, it is objectively verifiable that there are 206 bones in the human body, but this information would be inappropriate for a writing class, and would instead find a better home in a biology class.

Things brings us to the issue of Conditional Citizens. To avoid a subjective book review I will only focus on objective observations from the text. Mainly, the last chapter, Do Not Despair of This Country, where Lala-

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mi articulates in detail her ideal for a thriving democracy. She criticizes voter ID laws, “In a thriving pluralistic democracy... voter ID laws, polling station closures, and lengthy residence requirements are eliminated.” She demands that prisoners and people with felony records have equal access to the vote declaring: “The right to vote is also perennial. The 1.5 million Americans who are currently serving prison sentences and the 6.1 million who have felony records are no less entitled to electoral representation and are no less capable of rational political choice than anyone else.” She advocates for socialist policy: “Equal citizens have social rights to education, healthcare, a living wage, safe drinking water, and clean air.” And lastly, she makes a claim about the necessity of abortion… to protect democracy: “Equal citizens have ownership of their bodies... and freedom to make medical decisions about pregnancy, abortion, and end of life care.”

“The question that needs to be asked is simple: is the subject matter appropriate to be distributed by a publicly funded university?”

For a public, taxpayer-funded, university, the question should not be whether or not the book they distribute is an enjoyable or provocative read.

There are numerous books appealing to young adults that successfully touch upon difficult and topical issues. The question should not be whether or not this particular book is of an appropriate reading level for our students. Of the millions of books published, it is not difficult to find numerous at an acceptable level for incoming freshmen.

The question that needs to be asked is simple: is the subject matter appropriate to be distributed by a publicly funded university? This is not the same as asking if the given information is objectively true or not, a point I hope I made clear.

“Should a university have the right to use our tuition to indoctrinate students and compel them to see the world through a left-leaning political lens?”

So regardless of your politics, I challenge you to consider those quotes above and to ask yourself if the book is appropriate for a university to distribute. Does it promote and inspire the open exchange of ideas and challenge students to broaden their thinking? Or does it shut down discourse in favor of explicitly telling students how to vote?

Whether or not you personally agree with these statements is irrelevant in determining if this level of blatant political pressure should be permitted on our campus or promoted by our university. Should a university have the right to use our tuition to indoctrinate students and compel them to see the world through a left-leaning political lens? I say no! I will unapologetically assert that it is grossly inappropriate of a university to distribute material to every incoming freshman, urging them over the course of 180 pages to vote democrat. It’s wrong this way, and it would be wrong if it was the other way around. We as students must work to ensure this action is deemed unacceptable and inappropriate by our university. Only we can achieve equality.

Vol. XXXIV, Issue II

ISN’T IT IRONIC?

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Isn’t it Ironic?

By Matt Gagliano

W

e all know the 1996 hit song “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette.

Well, all of us that matter anyway.

While I will die on the hill that that song is an absolute bop, that’s not what I’m here to talk about today. There has been something about this song that has bothered me ever since I was a kid, and that’s the fact that none of the things mentioned in the song are actually ironic. Even as a stupid child who simply thought he was a genius, I was able to realize that there’s nothing ironic about “rain on your wedding day,” “a free ride when you’ve already paid,” or “good advice that you just didn’t take.” It wasn’t until recently that it dawned on me, Alanis Morissette wasn’t implying that all of these situations were ironic, she was actually unsure, which is why she was asking us “isn’t it ironic?” Well, today is your lucky day Alanis, as Binghamton University’s most informative publication, Binghamton Review, is here to educate you. At the end of this article, we will have the definitive answer to the question that Alanis Morissette has been asking us for 25 years: isn’t it ironic?

To determine whether or not the situations presented in Ironic are or are not truly ironic, we must start by establishing a formal definition of irony. Merriam-Webster defines irony as “the use of words to express something other than, and especially the opposite of, the literal meaning.” An example of this would be how Pipe Dream has a “fun” section on the mobile version of their website. Now, this is ironic not only because Pipe Dream has no idea what fun is, and is therefore incapable of producing anything that qualifies as such, but also because the link leads to an empty Tumblr page. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up! Get it together Pipe Dream, my god!

Anyway, now that we’ve established what irony is, we can take a look at the situations presented in Ironic to see if they qualify. Let’s start with the chorus, because that’s the only thing that most people remember anyway.

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The chorus opens with the line “It’s like rain on your wedding day.” While I certainly feel bad for all the people who are getting soaked in their fancy wedding outfits, I feel even worse for Alanis Morissette, because this is the line that you’re supposed to belt out as loud as possible when you’re drunk as hell and singing along, and yet there is not an ounce of irony in this sentence.

Next up is “it’s a free ride when you’ve already paid.” Again, this sentence isn’t ironic. Honestly, it’s more confusing than anything. A free ride when you’ve already paid? So, you paid for a ride somewhere, and afterwards the taxi driver was just like, “I know you already gave me money for this trip, but I have just decided now, given that we’ve already arrived at your destination, that I would like to give you a ride for free.” I think he was just fucking with you, Alanis. The third “irony” presented in the chorus is “the good advice that you just didn’t take.” Once again, that isn’t ironic, that’s just poor decision-making. Maybe the advice was to change the lyrics of the chorus to this song, given that it’s 0-for-3 on providing examples of irony.

“You doing okay Alanis?

Or, I guess I should say, were you doing okay?”

Unfortunately for Alanis Morissette, the chorus of Ironic doesn’t contain any actual irony, which is kind of ironic when you think about it. The chorus isn’t the only part of the song trying to provide ironic scenarios though, so maybe the rest of the song will fare better. The opening lyrics of the song are as follows: “An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery, and died the next day.” Alanis, that’s not ironic, that’s just depressing.

Rest in peace old man, you deserved better than to be immortalized in a song that has undoubtedly confused many people as to what irony actually is. This is followed by “It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay.” First, as you probably guessed, there is nothing ironic

about a fly in your drink. Second, why did you have to specify that the fly was black? Just saying, adding information about the skin color of the fly doesn’t increase the likelihood of your statement being ironic, but it does increase the likelihood of people overanalyzing your lyrics and calling you out, much like I’m doing right now. This trilogy of non-ironic lyrics is concluded with “it’s a death row pardon two minutes too late.” While that is certainly an unfortunate situation, it’s still not an ironic one. Also, why would you pardon someone on death row? If they were sentenced to death, they must’ve done something pretty bad, so what kind of corrupt politician would… never mind, stupid question. I retract my doubts about the validity of this situation.

The rest of the song follows the same non-ironic pattern. There’s a verse about someone that was afraid of flying, and once he finally got on a plane for the first time, it crashed.

Man, this song is way more depressing than I remembered. This is the third person that’s been killed off and we’re only halfway through the song! You doing okay Alanis? Or, I guess I should say, were you doing okay? This song was released 25 years ago. Hopefully, she got the help she needed. Anyway, the last hope for irony is this song lies with the lines “It’s a traffic jam when you’re already late,” “A ‘no smoking’ sign on your cigarette break,” “It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife,” and “It’s meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife.” My irony detector is still silent, sorry Alanis. However, at least you can blame your lateness on the traffic. Also, smoking is kinda gross, so maybe you should take that as a sign to quit. Also also, I’m very impressed that you counted all ten thousand spoons, that must’ve taken forever. Also also also, kill his wife to assert your dominance. On one final note, I hope I was able to finally answer your question Alanis; no, it isn’t ironic.

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THE HEART OF A BINGHAMTON SCHOLAR, ACCORDING TO HARVEY STENGER

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The Heart of a Binghamton Scholar, According to Harvey Stenger

By Anonymous

I

was accepted into the Scholars Program in February, after about a month of thinking I didn’t make it into the program.

When I got that letter from President Stenger, saying I was the one they wanted, I finally felt that all my hard work had paid off.

I was ecstatic to join the program, which affirmed my decision to come to this University. I arrived on campus, knowing no one, but already feeling a part of a community. As a Binghamton Scholar, we are all in the same boat; taking extra classes, and feeling the pressure not only from ourselves but from the University to succeed in everything we do. In my letter from President Stenger, it said that I was a student of exceptional merit, who would be surrounded by like-minded individuals. He was not wrong. However, it was during my Scholars induction ceremony that I found out what it really meant to President Stenger, to be a Binghamton Scholar.

We all arrived at least 15 minutes early for the induction, held in the University Union. Our professional mentors arrived with us, or even before us, working hard to make sure the event was on par with what they expected from us. Professor Ortiz took the stage exactly at 9:30 am and began the ceremony with encouraging and thoughtful opening remarks. However, he said something towards the end that made us all look at each other and wonder what our worth really was to this University: “We are still waiting on President Stenger to arrive.” At this point, we had been waiting for President Stenger for about twenty minutes. However, when Professor Ortiz couldn’t possibly hold out on opening the buffet for us any longer, he began to start calling each table to grab a plate, despite his efforts stalling for Stenger.

Still, we had no word from the President.

To say we were offended would be an understatement.

There was no warning, no explanation, not even an excuse, to explain the President’s absence at our event, yet we were supposed to be his most favorite students. At least, that was his promise to us.

Finally, after about 40 minutes of waiting, President Stenger took the stage as some of us were finishing grabbing our food at the buffet table, and began his speech. First, he congratulated us for being the top-notch, most valuable students at this University. Being best friends with someone who was not

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invited to join this program, I was offended. I am not so full of myself, that I believe I am superior to other students in any way.

There was no reason for him to put down other students, in order to gain our favor, because he had already lost it.

“Stenger wanted us to tell everyone we knew about this school, as though we are free advertisements he can do with as he pleases.”

He began to speak about excellence, what made us excellent, what made the University excellent, what made him excellent. He said, “We do what makes us excellent, that’s why we don’t have a football team.” To elaborate, Stenger was trying to make a point that we should only invest in things we know will work out. While this is a valid argument if done right, Stenger implied that as college students, we should not step out of our comfort zones to try something new. We should not put extra effort into things we are not good at. Simply, we should not try.

But if we do, and we fail, we should simply give up.

Stenger moved on from his speech about excellence and began discussing what it means to be a Binghamton University student. Stenger wanted us to tell everyone we knew about this school, as though we are free advertisements he can do with as he pleases. Furthermore, Stenger made it clear that he wanted even more of our money, as if the $30,000 isn’t enough for the “public ivy’’ we all attend. “When you are alumni, we will ask for your help to make Binghamton even better. We expect that you will give us this help,” Stenger told us. We all know that he is referring to the alumni association that mails letters out to each alumni asking for money on an annual basis. In fact, my mother receives these letters year after year.

Classes hadn’t even started, and President Stenger had let us down. He arrives late to our ceremony, expresses that he doesn’t believe in his students, and begs us for more of our money. To say that his prospects for the University are skewed would be an understatement. This is the level of unprofessionalism at the top of the hierarchy here at Binghamton, and I implore all scholars here, whether you are in my program or not, to think critically about who controls your education and what they really want from you.

Vol. XXXIV, Issue II

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WHAT IS AN NFT, AND WHAT ARE THE RISKS BEHIND IT?

What is an NFT, And What Are The Risks Behind it?

By Charles Forman

A

n NFT (Non-Fungible Token) is a digital asset that runs on Blockchain. It serves as a way to give digital assets to one another. Similar to trading art, NFT’s hold the value given to them by buyers and sellers. The value can go up, and it can go down. In recent months, NFT’s have exploded in popularity, making some buyers millions of dollars with the digital assets.

In short, an NFT is a unique unit of data. The simplest way to explain the ownership of NFT’s is through royalties. When you own the rights to a song, you take a share in those profits whenever that song gets streamed because you own the rights to the music. When that song is played, you get a royalty paid out to you. This same principle can be applied to NFT’s, as you can buy an NFT song or any other digital asset which you can use to make passive income.

NFT’s can also be a digital asset like a trading card that does not have licensing rights but would hold value because of the sentimental value that it can hold.

Think about NBA TopShot videos. If you own the rights to a clip from an NBA game, you have the right to license that clip out to media outlets in exchange for money. This has made some millionaires not because they are licensing the rights to the video but because the video has become worth what buyers are willing to pay for it.

Art maintains its value because it becomes timeless, but not all art is created equal. Some art is worth more than others, and therefore, it is essential to conduct a TON of research before splurging on these tokens.

Kevin McCoy made the First NFT, and it was called Quantum. He made it in 2014. Now, it holds a value of more than $7 million. Additionally, CryptoPunks, a digital art piece that features a pixelated “punk,” was made in 2017 and was the first NFT on the Ethereum Blockchain.

It is important to note that I write this article based on an investing standpoint, not from a technical perspective.

Therefore, if you are looking to learn about the technical side of NFT’s, I recommend you check out a video by the Wall Street Journal called NFTs Are Fueling a Boom in Digital Art. Here’s How They Work on Youtube.

Social Media had a significant role to play in the explosion of NFT’s. Digital artists like Beeple sold their work for over $69.5 million to a crypto kingpin. But, the artists are not the only ones who can profit from the assets. Take Michael Levy, for example. The Wall Street Journal reported that Levy spent $175,000 on purchasing NBA Top Shot videos last September.

In the months that followed, those assets became worth $20 million. It is no wonder that with stories like Levy’s, the masses would want to get in on this fad.

However, many people will aimlessly invest in things; when major news outlets like The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Verge, USA Today, and many, many more are writing about this, the information gets into the hands of the masses. They became trending, and once that happens, institutions like hedge funds, big banks, and other investment ad-

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visory firms start to pour millions into it. Even billionaires like Elon Musk, Mark Cuban, and Jack Dorsey have all gotten in on the action by either buying some of the assets or selling their own. Earlier this year, Jack Dorsey sold the first-ever tweet for a whopping $2.7 million, which he donated to charity.

When investments like NFTs go mainstream, the profits start coming in. But, now that NFT’s are not the most talked-about thing this week, how will these assets perform in the future?

One thing that is important to remember about the future of NFTs is that we are living in an increasingly digital world.

With readily accessible augmented reality and virtual reality around the corner, NFTs will become a crucial part of the digital economy. That being said, NFTs have a general-purpose in our world. Many investors will own physical assets such as art which they will appreciate. However, not all investments are created equal.

There are assets like tweets that do not hold any real value other than the value assigned to them by investors. Yet, that value can be millions. Similar to cryptocurrency, they have the value assigned to them by the community. There are no quarterly earnings reports filled with disclaimers and reasons why they might be a bad investment. The investor must do their research. NFTs do carry risks. With any new investment, there will be scams and assets that will not do anything. The risk of losing everything is much higher investing into NFT’s than it would be investing into an ETF, but as the old saying goes, the more risk, the more reward.

In my personal opinion, the most valuable NFT will be the digital maps that you can use in video games. As video games continually grow and gain a larger audience, it is essential to remember that digital assets in certain games will balloon in price. Skins and other cosmetics within video games will continue to grow as the market share reaches more people.

Moreover, NFTs can provide a great source of crowdfunding. It may become easier for startups to raise capital like never before by selling digital rights to a movie or program. While many start-ups would regularly rely on connections, the NFT can help them achieve their goals and get things done.

There will be a ton of money made on NFTs in the coming years and decades, along with all the fomo that comes with it.

However, it is essential to research anything before buying. Talk to people, read articles, and watch Youtube videos. Remember to use trustworthy sources, and remember that some people may have biased opinions because they want to make money.

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SCHOOL CHOICE CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER

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School Choice Can’t Wait Any Longer

By Siddharth Gundapaneni

T

here’s no denying the woes of the current American education system. A recent study showed that an abysmal 41% of High School students in Baltimore “earned” below a D average, or a 1.0 Grade Point Average, despite having the third highest funding per student in the nation (yes, you read that right). In Philadelphia, only 14% of fourth graders are considered proficient in reading. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, inflation adjusted spending per student has increased 287% since 1960, yet American education has consistently produced abhorrent outcomes.

Policymakers often attribute America’s education failures to lack of funding, but it’s much deeper than that. We need fundamental change in the way our schools are funded, and that is best achieved through school choice.

“Furthermore, research indicates that each student learns differently, and that should be embraced, rather than forcing those that are different to conform.”

It’s clear that millions of Americans are trapped within our public school system. Most low-income families simply can’t afford alternatives to public schools. People of color have been disproportionately affected by such policy, and change is needed now.

It is unacceptable that wealthy folk are able to send their children to the best schools, while low-income minorities are subjected to inferior education.

If we lower the disparity throughout K-12 education, we may even be able to level the playing field when it comes to college admissions.

Furthermore, research indicates that each student learns differently, and that should be embraced, rather than forcing those that are different to conform. Some students learn better in smaller class sizes such as those

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often given in private schools; others benefit from more hands-on learning present in Montessori classrooms; and many do in fact learn best in public schools. It is therefore imperative that each family be given the choice to make that decision for their children, without having to worry about the financial burden. Right now, if a family desires to attend private school, they must pay for schooling twice: once through property taxes that go to public schools (regardless of whether the child attends or not), and again when paying for private school tuition, something that is unattainable for most low-income families. A school voucher program would be an adequate solution. Funding for schools would still be done through property taxes, but instead of the revenue going straight to public schools, it will follow the child instead. As a society, we must focus on children’s success, rather than prioritizing upholding institutions that have failed us.

Not only would a school voucher system give more choice to students, but it would also significantly improve the quality of education. Most of the nations that rank above the United States in K-12 education, have some sort of school choice program, or decentralized education system. In a study done by the National Bureau of Economic Research, the Dutch have shown how voucher-based systems display promising results from students due to improved school choice.

Equivalent outcomes occurred in Denmark and Sweden, which also offer wide varieties of school choice for families due to their voucher systems.

If we wish to look within our own country to see the efficacy of smaller scale school choice programs, Florida has been the model for the past 2 decades. When Jeb Bush was governor, he oversaw one of the largest School Voucher plans in the nation. During his tenure, scores on the National Assessment of Educational Progress 4th grade reading test scores increased 2.5 points nationally, while scores in Florida increased 11 points. Just recently, another study done by the National Bureau of Economic Research showed that following the uptick in school choice programs created by Florida’s current Governor, Ron Desantis, suspension rates dropped, while attendance rates and test scores increased above national averages. The most surprising effect was the increase in quality of Florida public schools. Despite having funding siphoned away due to students leaving for private schools with expanded school choice programs, it’s now been made clear that there were more important factors impacting the quality of education, beyond funding. Overcrowding has severely degraded the quality of inner city public schools, and in wake of school choice pulling students towards private schools, public school teachers have been able to more effectively teach with smaller class sizes. Addi-

Vol. XXXIV, Issue II

BINGHAMTONREVIEW.COM tionally, Indiana’s Choice Scholarship Program is the nation’s largest voucher program, with 36,290 enrollees as of 2019. This has led to Indiana shooting up in national rankings over the course of the last few years, when the program was expanded.

Now you may be wondering, if the results of school choice are so clear, why isn’t it prevalent in the United States like it is in other countries?

That’s a great question, especially considering that 83% of registered Republicans support school choice, as well as 70% of registered Democrats. Yet due to the partisan influence of teacher unions, Democrats politicians have not always acted in line with their voters. Teacher unions have consistently fought against school choice, yet many argue they have counterintuitively furthered school choice movements.

Teacher Unions have felt threatened by school choiceSchool Choice for years now, and COVID shined a light

“For the future of our society, we must support politicians that will bring about meaningful change to the education system, and fight for every family’s choice.” on that. Teacher unions were prominent advocates for the closure of schools, and this was even quantified in a study done by the Brookings Institution which showed that school districts with more expansive collective bargaining agreements were much less likely to begin the fall 2020 semester with in person learning. This led many families to pursue alternatives to public school, where union presence wasn’t as large. In response to this, teacher unions responded by essentially forcing schools closed. Since a school obviously can’t function without teachers, it puts the bargaining chips in teacher unions’ hands. They have constantly forced the hands of politicians, and will continue to do so.

One can even suspect that Democrat politicians themselves understand the rationale for school choice, but they

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SCHOOL CHOICE CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER

cannot publicly support it. Politicians such as Senator Elizabeth Warren and California Governor Gavin Newsom fight against school choice, and will even go so far as to say private schools should be banned, but send their own children to private schools. Newsom’s largest opposition in his recall election was Larry Elder, a champion of school choice; in response, teacher unions have pumped over 2 million dollars in donations to Newsom. The lobbying efforts of teacher unions must not go unnoticed. The Heritage Foundation found that 46% of U.S. Senators have sent at least one of their children to private school, whereas only 10% of Americans send their children to private schools. The icing on the cake is knowing that public school teachers send their own children to private schools significantly more than the general populace. In Philadelphia, 44% of public school teachers send their children to private schools. The number is similar in most large urban cities, 41% in Cincinnati, 38% in Rochester, 34% in San Francisco, 33% in New York City. These teachers want their children to receive a premier education, but the unions want to deny that right to the rest of Americans.

While only 10% of Americans send their children to private schools, 37% of those school parents would prefer to send their children to private schools, notwithstanding financial burdens.

Another 21% of school parents would prefer sending their children to charter schools, or homeschooling them.

Families want alternatives to public school, but teacher unions and wealthy politicians have preferred to keep those options for themselves.

For the future of our society, we must support politicians that will bring about meaningful change to the education system, and fight for every

family’s choice. It’s great that Senator Warren and Governor Newsom can afford to send their children to private schools, but they must not deny that opportunity to the less fortunate.

People of color have lagged behind in education for far too long, and it’s time we close that disparity. School voucher programs have ample evidence of lessening the inequality between races, especially among African Americans.

In a study done by the Hoover Institution, the results were clear. Using a school voucher program, the African-Americans that switched to private schools scored a whopping 6.6 national percentile points higher on combined math and reading exams than the African-American students that stayed in public schools.

It is critical that we fix America’s education system sooner rather than later, as this has become a modern civil rights issue. As the richest nation in the world, we have no excuse for such a lackluster education system. American colleges, while expensive, at least compensate in quality. Our pre-tertiary education system cannot say the same, and school choice isn’t a difficult program to implement. level school choice programs have been enacted, starting with low-income families, in addition to many developed nations with school vouchers for all constituents. The number of students using school vouchers has seen exponential growth in the past few years, in light of the array of benefits it provides. The push for nationwide school choice must continue, and must not cease until all children are covered by school vouchers.

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MASS COVID TESTING WAS A MISTAKE

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Mass COVID Testing was a Mistake

By Joe Badalamenti

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ecently, Binghamton University has increased its COVID testing capacity back to Spring 2021 levels. This change was in response to a rise in COVID cases, as stated in a recent B-line email. The B-line states that this measure will reassure the student body of their protection. While this may sound reassuring, such a testing regimen can only lead to the return of restrictions at the expense of freedom on campus.

When designing a system to test for a pathogen such as COVID, one has several options. One option is to test only symptomatic individuals, a common sense decision with several benefits. First, students showing symptoms of COVID can see if they have the virus and what steps to take in order to treat themselves. Moreover, this system places no strain on the students who have no reason to believe they have contracted COVID. Finally, this system is economically sound, as it uses a low amount of resources in order to monitor the number of COVID cases in the student body. If one were to create a testing system, this appears to be the most sensible option. However, there is a problem: Cable news and public health bureaucracy have spread word of the asymptomatic spread of COVID. This leads the university to the next option: test anyone who has come into contact with someone with COVID. This option addresses the number of asymptomatic cases in addition to the clear symptomatic cases. This however has feasibility issues given the flaws of contract tracing. For example, if someone with COVID was in a crowded hallway before they tested positive, how would they contact everyone in the area? Contact tracing can also stigmatize groups or associations where the virus has been spread. This leaves only one option: test everyone on a regular basis. With this option, no COVID case will go unnoticed. Unlike the previous systems, this system requires a mass testing apparatus in order to supply the required tests, though logistics are no matter to a university with thousands of dollars to throw at COVID tests. Thus in the Spring of 2021, the mass testing apparatus was brought to Binghamton University as well as other educational institutions.

While the mass testing approach may seem prudent, there are plenty of implications associated with the system. The main implication is the attention brought to asymptomatic COVID cases. Despite having no need for treatment and contributing much less to the spread of COVID than symptomatic individuals, asymptomatic cases are treated equally to symptomatic and even severe COVID cases. From a medical standpoint, paying attention to asymptomatic cases is illogical and a waste of time since there are others who require more, if not immediate, attention from their more severe symptoms. Wasn’t the point of 560, and counting, days to flatten the curve to prevent the overflow of health systems to deal with significant cases?

Asymptomatic individuals have nonetheless been subject to the forced quarantine measures if a COVID test were to come up positive. The equivalence of asymptomatic COVID cases to symptomatic cases also inflates the threat of COVID among the community. This gives the university administration capital to

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keep or reimplement restrictive measures such as masks, occupancy limits, and more, even as immunity from prior infection and vaccines reduce the threat by the day. If one were to argue against such a measure, all the administration needs to do is point at the number of cases and most students would welcome the novel regulations. Meanwhile, the infection fatality rate for a typical college student, 18-22 years old, is an estimated .0014%. This means that for every 71,430 students who contract COVID, only one will die. Even if the university could flawlessly control the number of COVID cases, statistics such as these really make you question the need for all the rhetoric and regulations. A rise in COVID cases may sound concerning, but if most of the cases are not severe, then there is no need to reimpose regulations.

One of the latest medical innovations since the start of the COVID outbreak is the at-home COVID test. The at-home test is a purchasable kit that can test for COVID in the convenience and privacy of one’s own home. Such innovations bring to light an alternative to the mass testing regime: individual control measures. This system operates very similarly to the first testing system discussed. Given the at-home kit costs about $25, only those who are confident that they might have the disease will purchase the kit. If the individual tests positive, they can use their own discretion to treat their symptoms and prevent spreading COVID. This is made easy by the transition of classes and food shopping to online means. This voluntary isolation is reinforced by the fact that their condition would hamper their ability to do anything worthwhile. Once the individual has recovered, after a non-arbitrary amount of time, they can resume their lives with little risk of spreading COVID. Consideration of a voluntary system shows the flaws of the university’s centrally coordinated system In the time that I have written this, The university has confiscated the office space for student clubs located in Old Rafuse.

The justification was to make room for quarantined students.

It’s clear that many of the responses meant to deal with COVID cause more harm than benefit to the students. While we have been promised a return to normal in light of the vaccine, the university administration continues to go back on this promise as testing increases and cases rise. The only way to prevent more privileges from being lost is through the adoption of a voluntary COVID testing system.

Vol. XXXIV, Issue II

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What Makes a Fan?

WHAT MAKES A FAN?

By Dillon O’Toole

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ello everyone, hopefully you’re all having a great start to the semester. I know for me personally, it’s nice to be back in person after being remote since the beginning of the pandemic. I hope I never have to take another class remotely again, and I hope we figure out a way to get everything under control so we can return to a sense of normalcy (I never realized how much seeing someone’s entire face helped me understand a conversation until it was taken away from me). While I could spend an entire article complaining about COVID and the pandemic, I don’t think anyone wants to read that.

Instead, I want to talk about a rabbit hole of a thought process I went down this summer (because the pandemic has only increased my tendency to get lost in thought about meaningless topics). That rabbit hole has to do with fans, and no, I’m not talking about the thing keeping your dorm room cool.

I’m talking about people like you, people who enjoy something, whether it’s music, sports, movies, etc.

Have you ever considered what it means to be a fan of something?

Chances are you have never spent a significant amount of time thinking about it. I know that I never spent much time thinking about it for the first 19 years of my life. Then the summer of 2021 came along and I have been thinking about what it means to be a fan of something since.

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The incident that started my journey down this rabbit hole was something I had seen many times before, a person complaining that a band’s new material was not good because it wasn’t like the early albums. Now, this is nothing that I haven’t seen before, but for some reason my brain couldn’t stop thinking about why someone who claims to be a fan of a group could hate everything the band has released in 15 years. When I thought about it further,

“While many fans enjoy the vast majority of the movies, there is a group of “fans” who refuse to acknowledge any movie made post 1983 as good” most of the time this happens to a musical group (at least in my experience) the group’s first album was typically their biggest commercial hit. Two prime examples of this phenomena would be LINKIN PARK and Weezer, two groups whose first two albums are considered to be their best and who have a subset of “fans” who hate everything that isn’t those first two albums.

It seems illogical that someone could claim they are a “fan” of a band but at the same time dislike the majority of the band’s music. I personally wouldn’t classify someone who dislikes the majority of an artist’s music as a fan of the artist. Instead I would classify them as someone who likes a specific song, album, or period of time in an artist’s career.

Supposed “fans” who dislike the majority of something isn’t just limited to musical groups and can be found in other forms of entertainment media as well. Case in point is the Star Wars fandom. While many fans enjoy the vast majority of the movies, there is a group of “fans” who refuse to acknowledge any movie made post 1983 as good (the year Return of the Jedi released).

In the realm of video games, Call of Duty is notorious for having its “fans” (myself included) complain after every

yearly release that the games haven’t been good since “insert any previous fan favorite title here”. Can I and the many others who complain yearly about a new game really be considered fans? I myself no longer consider myself a fan of the franchise as I actively don’t enjoy many of the games released in the series.

Sports fans are another group of people whom I reconsidered whether or not they are really fans. This contemplation mainly revolved around my own self proclaimed fandom of teams. I only really closely follow one sport yet I claim to be fans of teams in many different sports. In my contemplation, I came to the conclusion that if I don’t even actively watch a sport I probably am not a fan, and instead I just have a preference for who to root for if I were to watch the said sport.

As I conclude my thoughts in this article, I should specify that I don’t expect everyone to have the same mindset that I have developed. If you think you are a fan of something, what matters is that you think you are a fan.

I think the real purpose of this article has been to demonstrate that reexamining your worldview is an important thing to do every now and then, no matter how minor that worldview may be in the grand scheme of things. So the next time your mind starts to wander, let it wander down that rabbit hole of a thought process.

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HOW DID BIDEN’S PRESIDENCY GO SO WRONG?

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How did Biden’s Presidency go so Wrong?

By Lucas Krueger

I

t is amazing the difference a few months makes for a president’s reputation. While I criticized many aspects of the COVID Relief Bill, it was very popular and even as a conservative it was nice to see congress pass something that benefited working people. More importantly, the vaccine rollout was downright impressive as within a month nearly everyone I knew went from unvaccinated to vaccinated. It was jubilant, a time I will never forget and masterfully handled by the Biden administration. His administration then made the intelligent decision of making the clear choice, “masked or vaxxed.” It was genius messaging that encouraged people to get vaccinated, followed the available data, and made me impressed. To say this administration has fallen off the rails would be an understatement.

My warm feelings began to wear off when the administration failed to provide aid and support to Cuban protesters clamoring for freedom through the streets of Havana. Then the Biden economy began to tarnish when phenomena like inflation, resource shortages, labor shortages, and increased regulations choked the middle class and forced small businesses to close. The inflation rate nearly doubled from Trump to Biden which has led to weakened purchasing power from the middle class. Then the Biden administration’s DOJ failed to investigate the catastrophic failure of Andrew Cuomo to protect nursing homes like my grandmother from COVID, so that was personal to me. Additionally, it showed that Merrick Garland was just a puppet of the Biden Administration rather than an independent attorney. The same cannot be said about Trump’s AGs and Bill Barr and Jeff Sessions often dissented with the President much to his dismay. Garland and Biden then perpetuated the lie that Georgia and Texas’ voter integrity bills are in any way similar to the Jim Crow era voter suppression bills. It is incredibly disrespectful to the victims of the time, and untrue as Texas offers 14 days of early voting while Biden’s home state of Delaware offers only 13.

There are even more scandals to dissect including the administration’s failed policy in regards to Iran, the Southern Border, and infamously Afghanistan. Now Biden’s approval rating sits at 43% which is lower than Trump’s during his first August, and down from 60% back in May according to The Hill. This presents an interesting question for future historians, at what point did the administration fall apart. Some could argue that it was when he made the announcement to pull out of Afghanistan, however that was wildly popular at the time and only fell apart due to the administration’s incompetence. I would say the day the president lost America was when he and Anthony Fauci stood up and told Americans to remask as a result of the Delta Variant.

I remember watching as my jaw dropped, shocked that the president would jeopardize his pandemic recovery. It was completely removed from science as 99% of the people dying from COVID are unvaccinated. The administration used no credible data, as they cited an uncredible study out of Bangladesh and a

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single case example in which 17 vaccinated people were infected in Cape Cod. The reality is that vaccinated people are at no higher risk from the delta variant than the old variant. While one could catch it easier, the hospitalization rate is 1/20,000 while the death rate is 1/200,000. In comparison, the death rate for the flu is 1/50,000. Joe Biden failed to read the data and understand that this is only a pandemic of the unvaccinated. The public health experts he listens to are so focused on getting to zero COVID cases that they fail to account for the social and economic harm that is done by encouraging people to socially distance and mask for a virus that is less deadly than the flu if you’re vaccinated.

This move caused the travel industry and leisure industry to come to a crashing halt. Unfortunately, African American jobs are most hurt by all of this as the African American unemployment rate rose from 8.8% in July to 9.1% in August while the national unemployment fell. Tragically, 45,000 people, nearly all unvaccinated, died from the delta variant. In comparison though, 81,000 people died in nursing homes in liberal states last year. Biden and the Democratic Party said nothing when their own politicians implemented policies that killed 81,000 elders which is nearly double the amount of people that died from delta. In fact, Biden and Fauci both called Andrew Cuomo, the governor who clearly handled the pandemic the worst, the model on how to beat the pandemic.

Biden’s and Fauci’s decision to reimplement mask mandates for vaccinated people also caused less people to get vaccinated. One of the main arguments for vaccine hesitant people was to not wear a mask. That was what the administration promised the American people in May. Joe Biden saying “masked or vaxxed” was one of the great lies of American history. Since their announcement the US vaccination rate has only increased by 4%. While there is some blame on Republican leaders not promoting the vaccine more, the blame falls more on Biden’s hands.

COVID restrictions now have no limiting principles. For months we waited for the vaccine after it came, Americans expected normality. The reality is, there will always be a small percentage of the population that is unvaccinated for whatever reason. As a result, variants will pop up that will be scary to whoever is unvaccinated. That is not an excuse for government bureaucrats like Anthony Fauci to mandate that Americans take precautions forever. The positive news is that Americans have mostly been living their lives as they normally would ignoring mandates from pathetic politicians. No people have been doing this more than Democratic politicians themselves like Lori Lightfoot, Nancy Pelosi, and Muriel Bowser all of whom reimplemented mask mandates only to be seen in large groups of people without masks on.

Vol. XXXIV, Issue II

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WHICH E-BOARD MEMBER ARE YOU?

Which E-Board Member Are You?

By Our Staff

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ave you ever wondered which Bing Review E-Board member you are? Well, we here at Binghamton Review production night have devised a quiz to truly determine which E-Board member you are.

Which article would you most likely write?

A. The Most Smashable Smash Bros.

Character B. Post-nut Clarity: The Hard Truth C. No E-Girls D. A Michelin Star Review of C4 E. FNAF fanfiction (If Matt let him write it) Who do you main in Super Smash Brothers?

A. Dr. Mario B. Peach C. Marth D. Bowser E. Byleth What do you think the term “pro-gamer move” means?

A. Vomiting B. Nutting C. Doing something epic D. Making a lucrative investment E. Being a good boy Its Saturday, how do you spend the day?

A. Sleep, sleep B. Bully C. Regret D. Business, as usual.

E. Buy an anime figure. Then buy a jar.

What type of music do you listen to?

A. Ironic by Alanis Morissette B. Frog Rock C. Prog Rock (You wouldn’t understand) D. Grunge XD E. Gregorian chants What do you buy at the corner store?

A. Diet Dr. Pepper B. Chocolate because you deserve it

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C. Alcohol (Legally) D. Methanol cigarettes E. A Fedora, M’lady What’s your least favorite word?

A. TikTok B. Discharge C. Journalism D. Loss E. Sexual intercourse If you were Ice cream, what flavor would you be?

A. Cookie Dough B. Mint chocolate chip C. Chocolate D. Pistachio E. Vanilla

B. Competitive Girlbossing C. Woman hunting (violent) D. Golf E. Jousting What nickname do you identify with?

A. Silly silly B. Stinky C. The Sultan of Speed D. The Senator E. Sugar Smacks What’s in your closet?

A. Skeletons B. Shoes (Women be shopping) C. Bricks D. Ben Shapiro E. Sticks of inces… incense

What song would you sing when drunk?

A. Country Toads B. Can’t Say I’m in Love (from Hercules) C. Never meant D. Plush by Stone Temple Pilots E. Is sober

What’s your go to pick up line?

A. Drops limes and then say “Sorry, I’m bad at pickup limes” B. Get away from me C. Want to see me destroy this mile?

D. What’s your major?

E. *Tips Fedora* M’Lady

What’s your favorite color?

A. Blue like my balls B. Pink like the hands of tiny rats C. Yellow like piss D. Black like my suit E. Red like blood Grrr

If you’ve picked mostly A, you’re Matt, the EIC. You’re good at bowling and like wearing cargo shorts. A good friend who’s always uncomfortable.

What crime would you commit?

A. Accidental tax fraud B. Stealing vitamins C. Intensional tax fraud D. Insider trading E. Crusading in the holy lands, (Deus Vult!)

How do you get rid of unwanted guests?

A. Kick them from the GroupMe B. Take my schizophrenia meds C. Shoot them D. Talk about the housing market E. Pray

If you’ve picked mostly B, you’re Madeline, the managing editor. Wacky, quirky, and zany, you’re half funny and half woman.

If you’ve picked mostly C, you’re Joe, the copy desk chief. Runner by day, Gamer by night.

If you’ve picked mostly D, you’re Chuck, the business manager. You’re probably too busy asking people their major to think about your results.

If you’ve picked mostly E, you’re Arthur, the social media shitposter. A cryptid from the deep?

What’s your favorite sport?

A. Woman hunting (romantic)

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