November/December 2019 Birmingham Parent

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NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

GIFT GUIDE

HOLIDAY TRADITIONS

ANNOUNCING OUR

TO TREASURE

OUR ANNUAL

FAVORITE KIDS’ DOCS 2019 ARE STRANGERS

THE REAL DANGER?

THE PRIVATE

SCHOOL GUIDE

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- Sarah, 8th Grade

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ed note

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Happy New Year from the staff of Birmingham Parent:

P.O. Box 326 (add 800 Hwy. 52 E. for pkg) Helena, AL 35080 205-624-2405 205-624-2515 FAX www.birminghamparent.com

editorial PUBLISHERS David & Carol Evans EDITOR Carol Muse Evans ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lori Chandler Pruitt CALENDAR Lori Chandler Pruitt

Carol Muse Evans Publisher/Editor

David Evans Publisher

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CONTRIBUTORS Dr. Vivian Friedman, Rebecca Mason, Jan Pierce, Kimberly Blaker, Paige Townley, Stephanie Rodda, Dr. Marie Pittman, Gerry Paige Smith

sales BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Tom Gonzales SR. MARKETING CONSULTANT Kayla Fricks MARKETING CONSULTANT Natalie Julian MARKETING CONSULTANT Stacey Spence

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BIRMINGHAM PARENT IS A PUBLICATION OF EVANS PUBLISHING, LLC. Publishers: Carol Muse Evans, David K. Evans Sr. Birmingham Parent (EIN200694149) is published monthly by Evans Publishing LLC. www.birminghamparent.com or editor@birminghamparent.com. Birmingham Parent is © 2019 by Evans Publishing LLC. Family Connections Media ©2019/2020

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November 8, 2019 – January 1, 2020 Make unforgettable holiday memories this season at Gaylord Opryland Resort. Enjoy Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical, The Gift of Christmas with Trace Adkins and Friends, Tubing, Ice Skating, Gingerbread Decorating and our signature 9-degreee attraction ICE! featuring A CHRISTMAS STORY™. Also new this year, experience SoundWaves™, an upscale indoor resort water experience.

Stay overnight to experience it all. Tickets and Packages on Sale Now!

ChristmasAtGaylordOpryland.com | (888) 677-9872 *SoundWaves indoor area now open; outdoor area re-opens May 2020. Guaranteed admission with exclusive SoundWaves overnight package options only. A CHRISTMAS STORY and all related characters and elements © & ™ Turner Entertainment Co. (s19). © Build-A-Bear Workshop, Inc. Used with permission. All rights reserved. PEPSI, PEPSI-COLA and the Pepsi Globe are registered trademarks of PepsiCo, Inc. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” animated television special adapted from a story by Robert L. May and the song by Johnny Marks, music and lyrics by Johnny Marks. All elements © and ™ under license to Character Arts, LLC.

NASHVILLE, TN

contents ADOPTION AND THE HOLIDAYS Don’t expect the day, yourself or your children to be perfect.

Apply grace liberally and keep

28

in mind a favorite beatitude that I wrote for myself long ago.

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break.”

our focus Holiday Traditions to Treasure.............................................16

Are Strangers the Real Danger?..............................................18

our features

our regulars EDITOR’S NOTE Happy Holidays .................................4

BIRMINGHAM PAR-

Gift Guide

Birmingham Parent’s 2019 Gift Guide.......................................... 14

PARENTING with Dr. Friedman...............................7 SHORT STUFF.................................. 8

Adoption and the Holidays........28

ASK THE SPECIALIST Flu & Pneumonia ............................36

Your Favorite Kids' Docs 2019 ................................................30

PET PAGE Dog and the Howl-idays...............38 A Page in a Book: The Cat’s Out of the (Book) Bag ...........................40

Private School

FAMILY TRAVEL: Margaritaville Comes to Gatlinburg......................................... 42

Finding the Right Private School for Your Family......................................20

CALENDAR OF EVENTS.............. 47

The 2019 Private School Directory........................................... 24

PARENTING PEOPLE Dr. Friedman Retires from Birmingham Parent........................54

ON THE COVER: Juliana, age 16 months, of Maylene is excited for the holidays.

PHOTO BY CHRISTY PIERCE PHOTOGRAPHY, 205-902-0385, www.christypiercephotographyllc.com/.

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PAR E N TI N G

Parenting

with Dr. Friedman

Q:

My sister has fraternal (non-identical) twins, a boy and a girl. They are 5½ years old. They take baths together, are in the same kindergarten class, and are still

wearing pull-ups at night. My sister has admitted that she does all this because it is easier. I would love your opinion on all this.

In matters of child rearing, except for issues involving neglect or abuse, there are few absolutes. What may be right for some children might not be right for others.

The pendulum tends to swing back and forth on the issue of separating twins or not.

Keeping twins together provides security for young children, but sometimes stifles individuality and fosters competition as they get older. The specific relationship between the twins should be taken into account in making the decision. Twins who get support from one another may do just fine in the same class.

Twins who are competitive might need to be separated. Twins are often more secure when placed together in preschool. Later on, they each need their own friends, especially with a gender difference.

Likewise, the issue of taking baths together will vary with the age and the nature of each child. There is no harm in bathing toddlers together. It would be unwise to bathe teenagers together. This leaves open the exact

point at which they must be separated. Some children are quite sexually curious by age five, while others seem unaware. Generally, it is better to separate children of opposite gender by age 4 or 5.

Developmentally, the Oedipal phase occurs between ages three and six. This is the stage where many children have romantic fantasies about marrying the parent of the opposite sex.

At this stage there may be some heightened interest in the anatomy of an opposite sex twin sharing a bath.

Your sister should be aware of the developmental issues, and should separate her son and daughter if there is bath play that she becomes concerned about. Not all curiosity is bad, however. Baths together may create an opportunity for the parent to answer questions that might not otherwise come up.

Daytime potty training takes active effort.

Nighttime training tends to happen on its own when the children are ready. This is not to say that parents can't encourage nighttime dryness, but not all children will achieve this spontaneously by age 5. Bed wetting has genetic and biological factors. Children who are deep sleepers and who have a small bladder will tend to train later.

Children of parents that were bedwetters as children are more likely to take longer for nighttime training. When your sister is ready to tackle the issue, a variety of alarms that attach to underwear and wake the child at the first few drops of urine can be obtained online.

I don't think your sister is doing anything egregiously wrong. What does concern me is the way you report that your sister has made her decisions. While all parents are busy and sometimes do things the easiest way, the children's best interest should be a significant part of the decision process. This is not to say that conserving parental energy by bathing children together is not in their best interest.

Doing it this way may leave mom with the time and energy to read stories or play a board game with them.

Vivian K. Friedman, Ph.D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry.

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S H O RT STU FF

The Importance of Correct Car Seat Installation Motor vehicle crashes cause the death of an American child every three hours, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Car seats are documented to reduce injuries and deaths, but are installed incorrectly by parents into their vehicles with startling frequency, researchers say. The University of Alabama at Birmingham and Safe Kids Worldwide have received $2.7 million from the National Institutes of Health to begin studies that look at the use of interactive virtual presence to remotely assist parents to properly install car seats in their vehicles.

“When installed correctly, car seats reduce the risk of serious injury and death to infants and young children involved in a vehicle crash roughly threefold,” says David Schwebel, Ph.D., associate dean for research in the UAB College of Arts and Sciences. “We will look at the efficacy of using interactive virtual presence technology to assist parents with the installation of car seats.”

New technology, known as interactive virtual presence, enables parents to access an expert who can assist in the car seat installation virtually. With a smartphone or tablet camera, users connect to remote CPS technicians, who walk them through proper installation. The experts see and hear from the parents, and they can point out danger spots or problematic issues directly on the video image through a three-dimensional image overlay. Once the seat is installed, they can talk parents through the steps necessary to verify it was done correctly, and confirm proper installation with their own eyes.

If effective, the technology could supplement or replace car seat checks and significantly reduce the number of errors made in car seat installations nationwide, potentially revolutionizing how government, industry and nonprofit agencies help parents install restraints.

Study: Diet Matters When It Comes to Depression Teens with a high-sodium, low-potassium diet are at a higher risk of depression According to a new study from the University of Alabama at Birmingham, teens who consume foods with high levels of sodium and low levels of potassium are more likely to develop symptoms of depression. The study, published in Physiological Reports, suggests that diet is a modifiable risk factor for adolescent depression.

“Depression among adolescents in the United States has increased by 30 percent over the last decade, and we wanted to know why and how to decrease this number,” says Sylvie Mrug, Ph.D., chair of the UAB Department of Psychology.

“Very little research has been conducted on diet and depression. Our study shows the need to pay attention to what our children are eating.”

During the study, urban, low-income, mostly African American adolescents self-reported their depressive symptoms at baseline and a year and a half later in addition to overnight urine collection to measure potassium and sodium levels.

The study showed that the effects of high sodium and low potassium on symptoms of depression build up over time. The unique combination of high sodium and low potassium best predicted an increase in adolescent depression.

According to researchers, health care providers can use urinary sodium and potassium as biomarkers of risk for subsequent development of depression in adolescents.

“Interventions are needed to ensure adolescents are receiving proper nutrition to decrease their risk of depression,” Mrug added. “Food such as fruits, vegetables and yogurt contain low levels of sodium and high amounts of potassium and should be encouraged as part of a teen’s daily diet.”

Paul Sanders, M.D., professor in the UAB School of Medicine, recommends that teens avoid highly processed foods, including fast food. “The age-old saying, ‘eat your fruits and vegetables’ comes to mind,” Sanders says. “Although changing diet in this way takes money and effort, it has many health benefits, including improved mental health, as shown in our study.”

Stock photo

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SH O RT STU FF

Children’s of Alabama Offers New Special Needs Breastfeeding Support Group Moms of special needs babies have a new local resource for facing breastfeeding challenges.

Children’s of Alabama has established a free special needs breastfeeding support group at Children’s on Lakeshore, 3600 Ridgeway Drive, Birmingham, AL 35209.

The group meets the first and third Fridays of each month from 12:30-2:30 p.m. Each meeting is free and is staffed by an international board-certified lactation consultant and a registered dietitian.

“Children’s of Alabama wants to support all lactating mothers. We understand feeding your baby may not look how you’d imagined. Our goal is to provide an environment where mothers feel encouraged and supported throughout their unique feeding journey,” says Laura Blackburn, RN, IBCLC. The support group is an opportunity to meet other mothers who can share similar experiences as well as their own feeding hurdles and triumphs. Electrical outlets will be available for those using breast pumps. Moms are asked to bring their infant (0-12 months); childcare will not be available for siblings.

For more information, visit childrensal.org/LactationCenter.

The Poison Purse: Dangers for Children There are a lot of poison dangers that parents of small children need to be aware of, from the cleaning products found in the kitchen to medicine stored in a bathroom. But there's a hidden danger you may not have considered. How many poisonous items can be found in your purse or the purses of any guests in your home?

Ann Slattery, director of the Regional Poison Control Center at Children's of Alabama, says a woman's purse can contain any number of poison dangers. “When people come into your home, they may bring things that are harmful to your child in their pocketbook,” she says.

Some examples of dangerous items often kept in purses: • A non-childproof pill container: Could contain medications that are dangerous to a small child like heart medicine, an iron tablet, or a painkiller.

• Toothpaste: May cause an upset stomach and possible fluoride poisoning.

• Eye drops: Could lower heart rate and blood pressure, especially eye drops that remove redness.

• Hand sanitizer, hair spray, perfume: All contain alcohol and can cause intoxication, including the risk of respiratory arrest and death.

•. Button batteries: Can get lodged in the throat and burn through the esophagus quickly.

• Hand lotion, nail polish, lipstick: All can be irritating to the stomach and potentially dangerous.

Slattery says the dangers are especially present when small children five and under are in the home. She advises placing all purses and bags away. "For children five and under this would be something we would worry about,” she adds. “Just keep it out of sight and out of reach.”

Likewise, be mindful of the contents in your purse when you visit someone else's home where there are small children.

If you suspect your child has ingested something poisonous, call the Regional Poison Control Center at 1-800-222-1222. The service is free and confidential, and health care providers are available to take calls 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

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S HO RT STU F F Having Good Balance Skills Reduces Injury

Being able to balance well is part of a child’s successful progression in fundamental development. High levels of balance can help reduce injuries in children, as well as increase their ability to participate in sports and activities.

Claire Mowling, Ed.D., an assistant professor of kinesiology at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, discussed the impact of balance training on development in children in a recent peer-reviewed article in the Alabama State Association for Health, Physical Education, Recreation and Dance journal.

“Developing a child’s motor skills early in life may help them pursue lifelong physical activity,” says Mowling, who teaches and researches in the UAB School of Education. “By incorporating balance skills into the physical education curriculum, educators can jump-start healthy habits in physical fitness.”

Balance is broken down into two categories: static and dynamic balance. Static balance is the ability to maintain equilibrium in a stationary position, such as the tree pose. Achieving balance while moving through an obstacle course is known as dynamic balance.

“Balance impacts many areas of motor skill development,” Mowling says. “Understanding center of gravity, line of gravity and base of support helps children make adjustments in the moment to maintain balance, thereby enhancing performance of motor skills.

Finding the Center The article points out that center of gravity exists within all objects and as balance shifts. When the body is in a symmetrical position such as standing straight up in superhero pose, or legs are shoulder-width apart and hands are on the hips, the center of gravity is located in the exact center.

“As children achieve balance in a statue-type pose, the focus can be moved to balance and the center of gravity,” Mowling adds. “By changing their posture, the center of gravity shifts and the child becomes challenged in maintain stability.”

Partner balances are a fun way for children to practice changes in posture while grasping the concepts of counterbalance and countertension, she says. Children work as a team to find the right weight distribution and tension to maintain balance.

“Teachers can use visuals to help to teach the basics of each of these balance principles,” Mowling says. “We can enhance a child’s overall performance in motor abilities by incorporating and designing learning experiences with balance principles in mind.”

10 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

A TALK WITH SHERIFF PETTWAY Pay Attention to Situational Awareness

By JEFFCO Sheriff Mark Pettway

Situational awareness is being aware of what is happening around you. With the holidays fast approaching, exercising a little extra precaution can help limit your risk of robbery or bodily harm. Remember, there are people who want what you have and they have no problem with stealing it.

Here are a few ways you can lessen the chances of this happening to you.

• Always lock your valuables and gifts in the trunk of your car. Keep them out of sight from would-be thieves.

• Make note of where you park your car. Don’t put yourself in a position of having to wander around the parking lot searching for it. If the parking space is not clearly marked, look for a landmark, such as a storefront, that would be in the line of sight to your vehicle.

• When leaving the store, look over the area for anything that might look suspicious. And, always have your keys ready. Don’t find yourself distracted by having to fumble though your purse or pockets.

• Finally, lock your car as soon as you get in and never lower the window for a stranger.

The Sheriff’s Office is here to serve you. Be safe and happy holidays! Please feel free to call us for assistance or report a crime if something appears out of the ordinary.

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Gifts Galore for Everyone on Your List BIRMINGHAM PARENT'S

Gift Guide Zoonicorns (MSRP $19.99) Spark your child’s imagination and creativity with Zoonicorns, adorable plush toys that are part unicorn, part zebra and have magical wishing horns. Just kiss your Zoonicorn on the nose, watch their horn light up and make a special wish! Ideal for children ages two through six, Zoonicorns were created to empower children and help them develop their critical thinking and decision-making skills. Offered in bright colors with soothing sounds, these durable plush toys are sure to be a hit.

Available for purchase on https://wishme.com/.

Love Spoon Candles (MSRP $30.00) Love Spoon Candles can be found in many high-end resorts, such as The Ritz Carlton and countless specialty boutiques.

Known for their luxurious packaging and decadent scents, Love Spoon Candles is not simply an extremely successful candle company. Jenny, the founder of Love Spoon Candles, partnered with “Feeding Children Everywhere” by donating $1 for each standard purchase, which provides five meals to hungry children in America. Available for purchase on https://www.lovespooncandles.com/.

14 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

Whether you’re looking for a gift for the kid who seems to have everything, a gift for the hard-to-buy-for teen in your life or a teacher, uncle or aunt or other adult in your life, these gifts are sure to please.

Compiled by Bethany Adams Hunley

Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak (MSRP $59.99 - $69.99) Bring the magic of the wizarding world to your home with the Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak. In order to create the Invisibility Cloak illusion, just cover yourself, someone else, or even objects with the cloak, and use the Invisibility App by Wow! Stuff (included). Then, simply view the photos in your app, and watch as the Invisibility Cloak works its magic. Ideal for ages six and up.

Available for purchase at Walmart and on Amazon.com.

Suitables Fire Truck (MSRP $39.99) This bright red fire truck features head-turning graphics, siren sounds and its own fire engine horn.

Suitables Fire Truck spares no details in its one-sizefits-all truck. This is the perfect gift for any child who loves fire engines. Ideal for ages two through seven.

Available for purchase on https://suitables.com/.

Petsies (Pricing reflects your specifications) The perfect gift for any pet lover, Petsies are custom-made stuffed animals created in the image of your favorite fur baby.

Made with faux fur and airbrushed to mimic your pets specific coloring, Petsies are the perfect keepsake for a new college student or someone who recently lost their pet. If your favorite pet isn’t a fur baby, have no fear! Petsies can also be made into the likeness of horses, birds, rats and monkeys, as well as cats and dogs. Perfect for all ages. Available for purchase on https:// www.mypetsies.com.

14” Sweet and Happy Baby (Small Wonder

by Madame Alexander) (MSRP $17.99) This precious baby doll is dressed in a cozy sleeper and hat, has beautiful eyes and skin and comes with an adoption certificate for your child to complete.

With a molded head, arms and legs, and a weighted soft cloth body, this baby doll feels so real and is perfect for sweet cuddles from your child. Suggested age is 1-3 years; ideal for all ages. Available for purchase exclusively at Target.

Herbie (MSRP $39.96) The first indoor countertop veggie, herb and flower garden specifically created for kids ages six and older, Herbie is perfect for children who enjoy gardening. Herbie takes children on a 12-week gardening adventure that ends with a pizza party using their own homegrown herbs. Sun and soil are not required for the garden to grow. All you need to add is water. Herbie also comes with observation windows and a child-safe LED grow light. Available for purchase at https:// www.aerogarden.com/.

Tervis Products (Price varies according to product) Tervis offers something for everyone with their high-quality insulated drinkware.

Whether you’re looking for a new insulated plastic or stainless steel water bottle, or a larger stainless steel tumbler, you are sure to find one that is ideal for your friends and family. There are also stemless stainless steel wineglasses that are the perfect gift for busy moms. Shop their many designs on their website. Available for purchase on https://www.tervis.com/.

Stack of Stars Stacking Crayons (MSRP $2.99) Perfect for little artists, these stackable, star-shaped crayons are sure to be a hit! Easy to store, this stackable crayon set comes in 12 different colors. A heart-shaped design is also available. Ideal for ages two and up. Available for purchase on https://www.ooly.com/.

LippyClip Lip Balm Holder (MSRP $9.99) The perfect stocking stuffer, LippyClip is a fashionable and practical way to keep up with your lip balm. LippyClip perfectly fits standard-sized lip balms, and easily clips to key chains, purses, diaper bags and book bags. There is also a new Kids Collection with designs made especially for children. Available for purchase on https://www. lippyclip.com/.

Holiday Traditions to Treasure

By Kimberly Blaker

Holiday traditions are a fun way for families to bond and create fond memories. The traditions you choose are limited only by your imagination in the way you and your family carry them out. The following are a few fun traditions to consider.

Storytelling. Choose a theme such as “my most memorable holiday season” or “the best thing that happened this year,” and ask each person to share a memory. Record the storytelling on video or audio, then play it in future years as part of your memory sharing tradition.

Poetry. Hold a holiday poetry reading. Ask each person to bring copies of their favorite seasonal or holiday poems to pass out and read aloud at your gathering.

White elephant. Rather than exchanging gifts or doing a drawing for a gift exchange, hold a “white elephant” party. Each guest brings a wrapped gift that anyone can use. Everyone then draws a numbered slip and takes a turn choosing either a wrapped gift or taking an unwrapped gift from another participant. If a player loses their gift, that person gets to choose another wrapped gift or take a gift from someone else.

Cozy escape. Escape the holiday hustle and bustle, and enjoy a holiday retreat. Try a cozy cabin in the woods or another scenic setting. Then enjoy your togetherness near a roasting fire, flipping through family photo albums, enjoying holiday music, doing crafts, and other relaxing activities.

Romantic evening. Couples often forget to take time out for each other during the busy holiday season.

Plan an evening for two and reserve a table near a fireplace or a different romantic setting. When you return home, light some candles and your tree, listen to holiday or soft music and exchange a special gift with each other. Then spend the evening reminiscing and sharing your dreams for the future.

Holiday countdown. Take a 3” by 3’ strip of ribbon and cut 24-paired slits from top to bottom. Thread each pair with narrow ribbon and tie a sucker in each. Beginning December 1st, remove a lollipop each day through Christmas Eve, or the eve of the holiday you celebrate.

Cut your own tree. Take the whole family to a tree farm and make a day of it. Look for the perfect tree to complement your home, or that fits your family's taste.

International customs. Pick up a book on holiday customs around the world. Each year, choose a different culture or nationality for your theme. Then decorate and try new traditions accordingly.

Shopping date. Make a date, and assist each other in selecting your holiday attire. Decide in advance on the formality so you choose complementary outfits and your shopping trip together remains agreeable.

Pamper yourself. Decorate the bathroom in holiday candles, fragrance, and holly. Throw on some holiday or other relaxing music. Then enjoy a long bubble bath and give yourself a full salon treatment.

Stockings for adults. Fill stockings for your loved ones to discover. Stuff them with treats, beauty products, postage stamps, lottery tickets, and other inexpensive or usable items.

Help a needy family. Deliver a box of groceries, or supply a family with gloves and hats. Ask your children to make room for their own new gifts by donating good, unwanted toys. Offer the toys to the needy family to leave from Santa, or wrap them yourself and leave them on the doorstep.

16 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

Take a horse-drawn carriage ride. Don’t forget blankets and your favorite hot beverage for warming your lips and hands.

A special ornament. Buy a new tree ornament each year that signifies something important such as your baby’s first Christmas. If it’s your first season in a new home, find an ornament that represents it.

Homemade wrapping paper. Get a roll of brown craft paper.

Then cut holiday shapes out of sponges, dip them in holiday-colored paint, and stamp the shapes onto the paper. Use glitter and glue to add to the festive look.

Discontinue holiday traditions that have lost their appeal and usefulness or that create too much stress. Talk to your family members or friends who share in the tradition, explain your feelings, and ask for input. They may feel the same. Even if they don't, you can try to reach a compromise that satisfies everyone. Don’t overdo it. It’s easy to get carried away with customs. Be selective and choose those that mean the most to you and your family. Most traditions require some investment of time, energy, or money. Taking on too many can cause stress and lead traditions to lose their appeal.

When you choose traditions, divide the responsibilities.

Women often take sole responsibility for holiday activities, which can be overwhelming and interfere with their ability to really enjoy the season. So, try not to strive for perfection, and allow men and children to help in the preparation.

By keeping these tips in mind and being flexible, you and your family can enjoy holiday traditions for years to come.

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Kimberly Blaker is a freelance lifestyle writer. She also writes content, blog posts and more for businesses in a variety of industries and is an expert in on-page SRO. Find her at kimberlyblaker.com.

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ARE STRANGERS THE REAL DANGER? STATISTICS SHOW MOST CHILDREN EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ABUSE FROM THOSE THEY KNOW.

By Paige Townley

The statistics on child sexual abuse aren’t well known, but they are seriously alarming.

According to reports, experts estimate that one in 10 children are sexually abused before their 18th birthday. Approximately 35 percent of youth sexual abuse victims are 11 years old or younger.

Perhaps the most shocking revelation about child sexual abuse is that more often than not, the abuser isn’t a stranger – it’s someone the child knows and perhaps even trusts.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

reports that 90 percent of child sexual abuse victims know their abuser. Other estimates reveal that approximately 60 percent of victims are abused by someone their family trusts. It’s also reported that approximately 30 percent of children are actually abused by a family member.

“Because the overwhelming majority of predators are someone the victim knows, children should be warned about the danger of that possibility in addition to stranger danger,” says Gregory Zarzaur, Esq., a founding member and lead trial attorney at Zarzaur.

18 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

Unfortunately, that isn’t the case for many kids, as it’s often incredibly difficult for parents or guardians to talk with their children about the potential of sexual abuse, much less about the possibility of it being at the hands of someone they know. “Most parents never talk with their children about the dangers of sexual abuse,” says Cindy Greer, executive director of the Shelby County Children’s Advocacy Center, Owens House, which serves children that survive both sexual and physical abuse. “Some are afraid the conversations will scare their child.

Some simply do not know where to start.

Knowledge about sexual abuse helps protect children. Lack of knowledge leaves children vulnerable.”

That knowledge, Greer adds, should be given to children over and over again – not only to help them remember, but to help reinforce. “Remember how many teaching moments it took for your child to learn

about the dangers of crossing the street?

The same applies to the dangers of sexual abuse. Talk to your children. Give them the tools they need to protect themselves,” she says.

Providing knowledge to children is also one of the goals of Children’s Hospital Intervention & Prevention Services Center, better known as CHIPS Center. Since 1995, in addition to providing non-acute forensic medical exams for child maltreatment and counseling, CHIPS also focuses on prevention as it visits schools all across Birmingham to talk with students about prevention education.

Debra Schneider, executive director, and her team talk to kids of all ages about the potential risks of sexual abuse, including the correct terminology for body parts, feelings, and even safety plans.

“When we introduce this topic as another safety plan, it doesn’t make it as scary,” Schneider explains. “The whole point of teaching a safety plan isn’t just to keep them safe, but to empower them so that they will know what to do. If they get lost in a store, what should they do? A safety plan empowers them if they are in a scary situation. So that’s how we approach the topic of sexual abuse too.”

CHIPS suggests that the safety plan for sexual abuse include all sorts of suggestions and guidelines for the potential situation, including trying to get away and being sure to tell someone. “We ask them to tell a trusted adult,” Schneider says. “We help them identify those adults, whether it’s mom or dad or the school nurse or a teacher. We make sure to help kids identify people outside of their family that can be trusted adults because sometimes it can be easier for them to tell someone outside of the family if the perpetrator is a family member.”

The team at CHIPS also helps students think through and practice actually telling someone by doing role-play because oftentimes it is quite difficult for kids to tell after the abuse actually happens. “We teach the kids to practice being powerful,” Schneider explains. “We also warn them that adults will have lots of questions, which can make kids shut down. So we practice by roleplaying and walking through the questions and various emotions adults might exhibit.”

One of the problems many children face when trying to tell a parent or adult about sexual abuse is that the adult doesn’t believe them. Not only does that make the child feel uncomfortable, but it can also lead to them not telling anyone in the future, Zarzaur adds. “The most important thing an adult can do in that situation is to reassure the child that you believe them,” he says.

“Unfortunately, studies have shown that children will sometimes have to tell up to five or six adults before they are believed.

That can obviously be a deterrent for a child to report.”

What also can be a deterrent for a child to report an abuse situation, Zarzaur notes, is the parent choosing not to take any type of action on the allegation. A parent might be well-intentioned about not publicly talking about what happened to their child, but there are serious negative consequences to that decision. “Parents may think the best thing for their child is to not talk about what happened, but that could adversely project upon the child that they have something to be ashamed about or that they did something wrong,” he says. “Even though the parent thinks they are doing what’s best for the child, the child internalizes that as something shameful that shouldn’t be discussed.”

In addition to all of the steps parents need to take to protect their children from sexual abuse or help the child if sexual abuse were to happen, it’s critical for parents to first recognize that it’s not just about protecting their children from strangers – they cannot overlook it possibly being at the hands of someone they know or trust, adds Allison Dearing, executive director at One Place, a nonprofit family justice center that helps sexual abuse survivors by providing coordinated services through multidisciplinary teams of

professionals that work together at one location.

“We have to say it out loud and talk about it,” Dearing says. “There are numerous places in the community where people have access to a lot of kids, and parents have the right to ask questions to understand who is around their children.

They must do that. “Even if it’s people we think we know, we must be aware that there is always a risk. We can’t live in fear, but that’s another reason why we teach our children to be advocates for themselves.”

Paige Townley is a Birmingham freelance writer.

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Private School

Private Schools

Finding the Right Private School for Your Family

By Jan Pierce, M.Ed.

You want a top-notch education for your children, and choosing the perfect school is probably one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. Depending on your location, you may find your public schools offer everything you want. If not, you’ll need to embark on a search for the right private school.

In general, private schools exist to provide smaller class sizes with greater individual attention to each student and a safe, focused environment free of discipline problems. They tend to set a higher bar than public schools in academics, and build a culture of shared values. They offer a strong sense of community and may tailor lessons to the needs of the student.

In reality, each private school is a world unto itself. It may or may not hold accreditation with a national education association, or hire credentialed teachers. It may have many

extra-curricular offerings or just a few.

It may charge a very large tuition plus additional fees, or may be more affordable, offering scholarships and sliding scales. It may have a long history in your community or be a brand-new charter school.

To find the right private school for you, you’ll need to consider the following: • WHAT ARE YOUR EDUCATIONAL PRIORITIES? Some private schools are faith-based and some are not. You’ll want to decide as a family your basic priorities. Is it most important to find high academic standards, or more important to support your family’s faith? Do you expect accelerated programs such as Advanced Placement classes or extensive access to STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) programs? How important are extra-curricular activities? Are you comfortable with homework policies and school rules?

• WHAT IS THE CULTURE OF THE SCHOOL? In a faith-based setting, the culture of the school will place religion at the forefront.

There will be religious studies as part of the

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curriculum. The school may be all boys or all girls. Does this suit your goals? What is the relationship of staff to students? Is it casual and friendly, formal and strict? How are parents involved? What is the balance of academics to sports, the arts, clubs and other activities? Does the culture “feel right” for your children?

• WHAT ROLE DO PARENTS PLAY IN THE SCHOOL? Some private schools make great use of parent volunteer time and emphasize whole family participation in their programs.

Others minimize parent involvement to occasional visits or conferences to report progress. Which best suits your family’s needs?

• WHAT ARE THE COSTS? ARE THERE SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE? It’s a sacrifice to pay for your child’s education when public schools are free.

And there are huge variations in the expenses involved. When researching possible schools, be sure to check not only the tuition, but also book fees, sports or other extra-curricular expenses and possible transportation fees. Check on scholarships available and the possibility of a sliding scale based on family income.

• IS THE STAFF CREDENTIALED AND THE SCHOOL ACCREDITED? Some faith-based schools and newer

Private Schools charter schools don’t require their teachers to be credentialed. How important is this to your family? In addition there are many different education associations nationwide offering accreditation. Do the research in your state or area of the country. If a prospective school has received accreditation, they’ve shown the initiative to meet high standards.

• IS THE SCHOOL CURRICULUM UP TO DATE? In this technological age, you’ll want to be sure your private school has kept up with the times. Do they offer appropriate college preparation standards in science, math, languages, writing and more?

Do they offer a well-rounded education in art, drama and music?

Are textbooks current and in good condition? Are computer labs or individual screens available to students?

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• DOES THE SCHOOL PROVIDE TRANSPORTATION? Do buses transport students to school? Are they available for after-school activities? Does the school coordinate carpools? Are there extra expenses charged for transportation?

• HOW WELL DO STUDENTS TRANSITION INTO OR OUT OF THE SCHOOL? If a particular school offers classes such as K-6 or K-8, do they work closely with a sister high school? What provisions are made to make a smooth transition from one school to another? If students transfer into the school either at the beginning of a year or mid-year, what provisions are made to welcome them? How do children fare when they need to move from this school to another?

• WHAT IS THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION? Most private schools have a reputation to uphold. Are they the best in college prep? Are they known for a friendly family community spirit? Who do you know with first-hand information and experience with the school? What recommendations can you find amongst friends and acquaintances?

• IS THE SCHOOL OPEN TO VISITS AND DROP-IN OBSERVATIONS? All schools need to make sure their campus is secure and will have procedures to follow when visiting. But as a parent, you want to feel comfortable visiting the building to observe or take care of business. You’ll want to find a school that makes parents welcome and is proud to show them around.

When you’ve narrowed your search to several schools, be sure to take the time for a personal visit. Talk with an administrator, take the tour and gather any written information they’ve prepared for prospective students. Discuss pertinent questions and voice any concerns you may have about your child’s specific needs. Above all, gauge your “feel” of the school. Is it the right place for you and your family?

Selecting the perfect private school is well worth the time it takes to research, visit and finally make your selection. This is the place your children will make important friendships, learn and grow, and pave the way to their bright futures.

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ASSESSMENT ($150 VALUE) & PLUS 2 FREE $100 OFF SESSIONS ENROLLMENT OFFER ENDS 6/1/14

Jan Pierce, M.Ed., is a retired teacher and author of Homegr own Readers and Homegrown Family Fun. Find Jan at www.janpierce.net.

birminghamparent.com | 21

PRIVATE SCHOOLS 2019

Odyssey Early Schools Odyssey was created by educators who dreamed of opening an early learning center where children could be nurtured and taught by a highly trained and loving staff. That dream was realized when our Inverness school opened in 1995, and then again in 2001, with the opening of our second school in Trace Crossings.

Odyssey’s goal is to create a life-long love of learning.

We have developed our own age-appropriate curriculum, specifically designed to introduce each age grouping to language, reading, math, science and more, so that your child will possess a strong foundation for Kindergarten and beyond.

Additionally, we guarantee teachers with four-year education degrees in all preschool classrooms and offer exceptional child-to-teacher ratios.

At our schools, you can watch your child’s entire day in live, streaming, HD video over the Internet, through an individual, secure connection linked directly to your child’s classroom. We want our parents to know what happens during their child’s day, and Odyssey is the only Over-the-Mountain daycare to offer this service.

Our team works tirelessly to earn its reputation as the best childcare option for Birmingham parents, and we invite you to visit today to witness for yourself what so many other families have known since 1995!

Visit www.odysseyearlyschool.com for more info.

Joseph Bruno Montessori Academy Our educational practices are built around the belief that children are born with the strong need to discover and learn. We treat their curiosity and creativity with great care, allowing them to explore their interests from an early age.

We provide lessons, even the most challenging ones, that make learning exciting and stimulate the desire to know more. Lessons are given to small groups and individually, so that they can understand the concepts presented. Our students are our first priority, and we take time to listen and help them find answers.

Older students learn through seminars, laboratory experiments, and hands-on projects.

Visitors will see our students working individually and cooperatively to get their work done, enjoying the total learning experience. We have high expectations for our students, and they learn to set higher and higher standards for themselves.

Accredited by The Southern Association of Colleges and Schools and The American Montessori Society To schedule a tour of our school, call 205-995-8709 or visit jbma.education

Holy Family Cristo Rey Catholic High School

Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic School

Holy Family Cristo Rey integrates a rigorous Catholic college preparatory curriculum with a Corporate Work Study Program to empower and prepare our scholars to persist in college and flourish in life. Our Corporate Work Study Program provides our scholars with the unique opportunity to experience the corporate workplace firsthand. As a result of mutual work and collaboration unprecedented successes are formed, and young people grow up prepared to transform their lives.

Our desire is to partner with families who understand the power of education and experience, as well as the strength found in persevering against all odds, all of which create uncompromising character. Our scholars graduate from Holy Family Cristo Rey equipped with a healthy self-awareness knowing they can achieve anything while being College Ready and Career Prepared!

Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic School (OLS) takes pride in educating young minds in grades 3K - 8th. Its comprehensive academic curriculum provides a variety of enrichment opportunities for its students. Accredited by AdvancED, the curriculum is partnered with Christianity as it strives to bring each student to a personal experience of faith and a deeper knowledge and love of Jesus Christ. Art, Music and Spanish are supplemental enrichment programs that accompany the required courses in addition to other educational events. The school’s innovative technology classes teach keyboarding, coding, robotics, Google web applications, and 3D graphic art (grades 4- 8th).

Through many opportunities of age appropriate school activities, OLS students attain communication skills that help instill confidence socially, both in classroom and assembly settings. They learn to express themselves in diverse religious and academic social situations. In addition, students have the opportunity to participate in athletics through the Birmingham Catholic Diocese Toy Bowl League.

As members of the Alabama High School Athletic Association, 7th and 8th graders can participate in the John Carroll Catholic Middle School Athletics program. Prospective students in grades 1st through 7th are welcome to experience Shadow Days. Tuition support is readily available. For more information, please call the school office at (205) 879-3237. We are growing our children in knowledge and faith…Experience the Difference!

Come visit us at our new campus located at: 1832 Center Way S Birmingham, AL 35205 We can also be reached at: admissions@hfcristorey.org 205-263-0133 www.hfcristorey.org

www.olsschool.com • 205-879-3237

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PRIVATE SCHOOLS 2019

Woodland Park Christian Learning Center Woodland Park Christian Learning Center is a Christian, faith-based ministry of the Woodland Park Church of Christ. It is our vision to provide a quality education to as many children as possible.

The center endeavors to meet the needs of all early learners. It is our goal that parents and staff of Woodland Park Christian Learning Center work together to nurture our children in an environment where all are respected.

Consequently, we will foster a culture that facilitates lifelong learners.

We are dedicated to ensuring the quality of our students’ daily experiences in early childhood education and promoting positive outcomes. The curriculum and assessment program used by our Center is Creative Curriculum, which provides opportunities for teachers to include activities that promote the children’s social, emotional, physical, language, and cognitive development. The content areas include: math, science, reading and writing, social studies, art, health and safety, creative expression and technology.

Our preschoolers have Bible-based, interactive chapel once each week and we incorporate biblical scripture and lessons in all classroom curricula.

1800 Martin Luther King Jr Dr., Birmingham, AL 35211

The Altamont School The mission of The Altamont School is to improve the fabric of society by graduating compassionate, well-educated individuals capable of independent thinking and innovative ideas. To this end, the school attracts, nurtures, and challenges students whose commitment to truth, knowledge, and honor will prepare them not only for the most rigorous college programs, but also for productive lives.

Altamont is a small family of approximately 360 students in grades 5-12 with socio-economic, ethnic, and religious diversity. Altamont is a good choice for students excelling in their present schools who want greater breadth and challenge in all areas of school life. We combine an intensive, college preparatory academic program with a personalized college search program.

There are many opportunities for students to develop multiple talents by participating in arts, world languages, community service, clubs, class projects, and athletics. Students also benefit from a 1-to-1 laptop program, an advanced computer science curriculum, and unparalleled service leadership opportunities through Altamont’s C. Kyser Miree Ethical Leadership Center.

Altamont is located five minutes from downtown Birmingham on the crest of Red Mountain. Our campus features Cabaniss-Kaul Center for the Arts, Pharo Art Studio, Lacey-Day Photography Studio, newly renovated athletics spaces, two science wings, a study garden, a 14,000-volume library, and much more. Experience all that Altamont offers by attending an Open House or scheduling a campus tour.

4801 Altamont Road South Birmingham, AL 35222

205-879-2006 Visit www.altamontschool.org.

Academy of the Arts at Samford University

The Alabama Ballet School

The Samford University Academy of the Arts combines former Preparatory Music and Samford After Sundown programs, offering a wide variety of classes for adults and children. Check out our listing and see our website for registration and class details. Academy of the Arts offers: • Antiques • Art for Children and Teens • Creative Writing • Drawing • English as a Second Language Classes • Foreign Language Classes • Music Lessons • Painting • Photography • Piano Classes: Children & Adult • Pottery • Summer Camps

The Alabama Ballet School provides the highest quality training to aspiring artists of all ages that is developmentally appropriate both physically and artistically. The Alabama Ballet School’s instruction is based on the syllabus provided by the Royal Academy of Dance in London which takes into consideration the particular level of development of each child within that level. The RAD is an international teaching organization committed to establishing standards of excellence in ballet instruction. The faculty of the Alabama Ballet School is required to attend a workshop for the Royal Academy of Dance syllabus. This provides the students with training that is both consistent and unified.

Examinations are administered to students at the end of each school year.

The Alabama Ballet School strives to serve members of the community who choose to dance as an extracurricular activity for fun and build healthy bodies as well as those who aspire to a career in dance.

205-726-2739 academyofthearts@samford.edu www.samford.edu/go/aota

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PRIVATE SCHOOL DIRECTORY 2019 AREA PRIVATE SCHOOLS Alabama Ballet & Alabama Ballet School 2726 First Ave. S. Birmingham, AL 35233 205-322-4300 www.alabamaballet.org Providing the highest quality training to aspiring artists of all ages that is developmentally appropriate both physically and artistically. The school’s instruction is based on the syllabus provided by the Royal Academy of Dance.

The Altamont School 4801 Altamont Rd. S. Birmingham, AL 35222 205-445-1232 www.altamontschool.org The Mission of the Altamont School is to i mprove the fabric of society by graduating compassionate, welleducated students capable of independent thinking and innovative ideas.

Brandon Hall School 1701 Brandon Hall Dr. Atlanta, Georgia 30350 770-394-8177 www.brandonhall.org Our co-educational, global boarding and day school challenges students to lead lives of leadership, scholarship, and service.

We encourage learning, global citizenship, diversity, athleticism, artistic expression and inspire students to find their own path.

Creative Montessori School 2800 Montessori Way Homewood, AL 35209 205-879-3278 www.cmskids.org CMS cultivates a life-long love of learning and fosters self-control and selfdirection from 18 months through eighth grade.

Students learn at their own pace, under the

lifelong global learners.

Enrolling toddlers - 8th grade.

Odyssey Early Sch​ools *INVERNESS CAMPUS 104 Heatherbrooke Park Dr. Birmingham, AL 35242 205-991-0039 *TRACE CROSSINGS CAMPUS 401 Emery Dr. Hoover, AL 35244 205-988-8829 thoughtful guidance of a professionally-trained Montessori teacher.

college and flourish in life.

Transforming Birmingham, One Student At A Time.

Evangel Classical Christian School 423 Thompson Rd. Alabaster, AL 35007 205-216-0149 evangelclassical.com ECCS aims to teach children to think clearly, listen carefully reason persuasively, articulate precisely, evaluate every experience through the lens of scripture and do so with eagerness and joyful submission to God.

Jefferson Christian Academy 1500 Heritage Place Dr. Birmingham, AL 35210 205-956-9111 www.jcaweb.net The Technology Leader in Christian Education! A Bible based school, JCA provides a safe Christian environment (K4- 12th grades) that focuses on spirit, mind, body and a servant’s heart. Schedule a tour today!

Hilltop Montessori School 6 Abbott Square Birmingham, AL 35242 205-437-9343 www.hilltopmontessori.com Accredited with SAIS, AdvancED, AMS and NCPSA. Offering daily foreign language, technology, and fine arts.

Educating children age 18 months through 8th grade with early and after care available.

Holy Family Cristo Rey Catholic High School 1832 Center Way S. Birmingham, AL 35205 205-263-0133 www.hfcristorey.org Combining academic rigor and a corporate workstudy program to empower students from economically challenged families to graduate high school prepared to persist in

24 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

Integrity Christian Academy 216 Roebuck Dr. Birmingham, AL 35215 205-833-4416 www.integritychristianacademy.org Preschool, kindergarten and elementary classes.

ABEKA academic, Bible curriculum andtraining.

Character development and discipline. After school care available.

Joseph Bruno Montessori Academy 5509 Timber Hill Rd. Birmingham, AL 35242 205-995-8709 www.jbma.education JBMA provides children & families with an education according to the Montessori philosophy. At JBMA, we treat each child as individuals, building on their strengths to become

www.odysseyearlyschool.com

Created by educators featuring ​state-of-the-art facilities​, nurturing teachers ​ with Education degrees, and comprehensive curriculum ​that provides Your child with age appropriate exploration into the world of learning.

Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic School 1720 Oxmoor Rd. Homewood, AL 35209 205-879-3237 www.olsschool.com Fostering a Christcentered environment that includes strong academics, technology and enrichment opportunities.

Educating young minds in K3-8th grades. AdvancED accredited.

The Renaissance Academy Prep School of Excellence The Renaissance Academy Prep School of Excellence P.O. Box 380753 Birmingham, AL 35238 205-440-2149 Admin@trapsoeal.org www.trapsoeal.org Providing a college preparatory education in a safe, structured Christian based environment for young gentlemen and ladies in grades 3-12.

Member of Association of Christian Teachers & Schools and National Council for Private School Education.

Woodland Park Christian Learning Center 1800 Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. Birmingham, AL 35211 205-250-1488 www.woodlandparkclc.net Serving children ages 6 weeks - 5 years old. Open year-round, nutritious meals, and a healthy balance of play & academics. Employee background checks with state-of-the-art facilities.

LEARNING CENTERS The Tutoring Center 2804 John Hawkins Pkwy.

Suite 100 Hoover, AL 35244 (near Academy Sports) 205- 987-9577, www. hoover.tutorcenter.com One-to-one tutoring designed to help your child develop stronger academic skills, earn better grades, score higher on standardized tests, while gaining confidence, motivation and focus.

FIELD TRIPS AND EDUCATIONAL ACTIVITIES The Academy of the Arts at Samford University 1939 S. Lakeshore Dr. Birmingham, AL 35229 205-726-2739 www.samford.edu/ academy-of-the-arts Offering a variety of noncredit courses & workshops in the arts for all ages: calligraphy, drawing, photography, painting, pottery, creative writing and summer camps. Music lessons in piano, strings, theory, voice & woodwinds.

Alabama Shakespeare Festival 1 Festival Dr. Montgomery, AL 36117 334-271-5353 www.asf.net ASF, the State’s theatre, builds community by engaging, entertaining an inspiring people with transformative theatrical performances & compelling educational & community programs.

Rigorous college-prep academics Open to all faiths; over 75% nonCatholic 1:1 Chromebook program enhances curriculum

Innovative Corporate Work Study Program Transportation available from two locations Very affordable tuition, from $30 to $225/month

Come see us at our NEW campus!

Admissions Open House Sunday, December 8 at 3:00 PM Learn More at www.hfcristorey.org 1832 Center Way South, Birmingham, AL 35205 205.263.0133 · admissions@hfcristorey.org birminghamparent.com | 25

PRIVATE SCHOOL DIRECTORY 2019 Birmingham Children’s Theatre 2130 Richard Arrington Jr. Blvd. N., Birmingham, AL 35203, 205-458-8181 www.bct123.org Educate, Enrich and Entertain! As one of the nation's oldest and largest professional theatre companies for young audiences, BCT produces high-quality, professional theatrical entertainment and curriculum-relevant arts education experiences for children and families.

Birmingham Museum of Art 2000 Rev. Abraham Woods Jr. Blvd., Birmingham, Al 35203 205.254.2565 www.artsbma.org Bart's ArtVenture combines high tech art-making tools with hands-on creation stations to let kids and families develop their art

education in a creative, communal environment.

Children's Hands-On Museum 2213 University Blvd.

Tuscaloosa, AL 35401 205-349-4235 www.chomonline.org CURIOSITY! CREATIVITY! DISCOVERY! Best Field Trips Ever! Highly qualified educators, two floors of hands-on exhibits, classroom level and demonstration area mean students participate in learning experiences not available in a traditional classroom setting!

The Dance Foundation 1715 27th Court S. Homewood, AL 35209 205-870-0073 www.thedancefoundation. org Our non-competitive dance education nurtures creativity, engages the

imagination, and promotes social and developmental skills in a safe and enriching environment for self-expression and collaboration.

Dauphin Island Sea Lab 101 Bienville Blvd.

Dauphin Island, AL 36528 251-861-2141 www.disl.org The Dauphin Island Sea Lab’s (DISL) mission encompasses the pursuit of excellence in marine science education, marine research, coastal zone management policy and educating the general public through the Estuarium, our public aquarium.

The Learning Tree Inc. 251-533-6044 www.learning-tree.org The Learning Tree Inc. provides early intervention, residential, educational,

behavioral analysis and consultation services for more than 600 children with intellectual disabilities and autism annually.

McWane Science Center 200 19th St. N. Birmingham, AL 35203 205-714-8414 www.mcwane.org Fun and learning never end at McWane, a nonprofit, hands-on museum with aquarium and IMAX® Dome Theater. Four floors of interactive exhibits celebrate science and wonder.

Vulcan Park and Museum 1701 Valley View Dr. Birmingham, AL 35209 205-933-1409 www.visitvulcan.com Birmingham's beloved icon, Vulcan, is the world's largest cast iron statue.

Featuring breathtaking views of the city, an interactive history museum and a beautiful public park.

Providing a college preparatory education in a safe & structured Christian based environment for young gentlemen and ladies in grades 3-12

Call to schedule a tour today!

205.440.2149

National Council for Private School Education

NOW ENROLLING

Accredited by AdvancED, SAIS, AMS and NCPSA

Schedule a tour of our 7-acre campus in Mt. Laurel today!

WWW.HILLTOPMONTESSORI.COM 26 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

205-437-9343

One of the nation’s premier college preparatory schools for students grades 5-12

Join us for an Open House January 12, 2020 2-3:30 p.m.

Learn more: altamontschool.org RSVP: ddodson@altamontschool.org

BIRMINGHAM’S PREMIER DAYCARE & PRESCHOOL

FAVORITE DAY CAMP Preschool Teachers with Degrees in Early Childhood Education Exceeds All StateStudent Ratio Standards

Our goal is to be the best educational daycare and preschool program in the country.

Free Internet Video Monitoring

Since 1995, Odyssey has offered incredible childto-teacher ratios, certified teachers and a curriculum that prepares our children for elementary school, all in safe, clean, beautiful facilities.

Music, Spanish, Computers and Youth Fitness/Sports programs

LIMITED SPACE AVAILABLE NOW

Professionally Developed Age-Appropriate Curriculum

Best Playgrounds in Birmingham

FAVORITE AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM

INVERNESS CAMPUS 205-991-0039 TRACE CROSSINGS CAMPUS 205-988-8829

FOR CHILDREN 6 WEEKS THROUGH 3rd GRADE

WWW.ODYSSEYEARLYSCHOOL.COM birminghamparent.com | 27

ADOPTION AND THE HOLIDAYS

Don’t expect the day, yourself or your children to be perfect. Apply grace liberally and keep in mind a favorite beatitude that I wrote for myself long ago.

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break.”

By Stephanie Rodda For many, perhaps most, the holidays bring about lots of joy for the present season as well as fond memories of seasons long ago. Often people declare that you’ve never truly experienced the holidays until you’ve done so through the eyes of your child. Parents can hope, dream and pray for many years to have that special opportunity. As my husband and I struggled for more than a decade with infertility, I could only imagine the delight that must surely accompany the holidays with children.

Our first Christmas as parents we were foster parents to a house full of assorted ages of children. I wanted everything to be perfect and idyllic for multiple reasons.

First of all, I wanted the children in our care to experience it “right” when their young lives had seen far too much of how it could be done “wrong.” We had six foster children, the capacity by law, and had been fostering for six months. Our youngest was a newborn preemie and our oldest was a teen.

My husband’s brother was in from

Tennessee to see their parents and after the kids were all in bed on Christmas Eve, he came to our house in full Santa costume with ho-hos and pictures while they each sat upon his knee. I was thrilled. It was just as wonderful as I had expected it to be.

What I didn’t expect was the fallout from all the festivities.

Just days before, one of our foster children had run away. We went on to foster for 15 years and never again would a child run away from us, but this one had and right before Christmas. Although we found the child safe within hours, he had insisted that he would run again at his first opportunity unless we promised to return him to DHR the next business day. We did promise and we kept that promise.

It was a sad situation. He was a troubled child. Many people didn’t understand our decision and I wasn’t even sure that we understood it ourselves. I just knew we could not force him to stay.

And so, our story continued as did his, but we were to travel different paths.

Determined to make the best of it, I pressed on, carefully choosing each gift, making

28 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

sure they would all be pleased with what we had gathered. Our church and DHR helped with the gifts. I orchestrated it all and that was quite the achievement, let me tell you.

And so, we had arrived at this magical moment and the children who were old enough to understand what was happening, had reactions that were unexpected. One teen girl, as the big event ended, paused on her way back to bed and asked me, “Is this it?” Her question stunned me. I had anticipated giddy excitement and much thankfulness. Not so. If I had understood then what I understand now, I wouldn’t have felt so disappointed myself.

The holidays are without a doubt full of heightened emotions. Anyone who has faced loss, anyone who is grieving, anyone in the midst of a family or health crisis can attest to the fact that it is harder to face during the holidays. After all, the holidays revolve around family gatherings, plenty of gifts and an abundance of food. When any of these things are missing, it is so much more apparent during the holidays than any other time.

I’ve had the opportunity to discuss the impact of the holidays with other adoptive moms and there was a common theme among us all: Set aside your expectations of how the children will respond so that you don’t have your own disappointment to deal with as well.

One mom shared how when one of her adoptive daughters got everything on her small list of requested gifts, she burst into tears and claimed it was because they hadn’t given her a trash can for her room. I remember my own first Christmas with our adoptive daughters. I had searched far and wide for just the right dolls. They tossed them down without hardly a second glance. Another mom told me how one of her adoptive daughters was very distressed when expected to wear the pretty Christmas dress they had bought her.

She had never worn a dress.

In each of these situations and many others that could be listed, the children, due to their past experiences, reacted in unexpected ways. Of course, any child can react unexpectedly, but in the case of adoptive children, especially older-child adoptions, there may be unknown factors that lead to trauma triggers during the holidays.

So, how can we prepare for what we aren’t aware of?

• Ask social workers, former foster parents, anyone who may know of important dates and details that could hold painful memories for the children.

• Don’t expect non-adoptive parents or family members to understand your child’s behavior nor your method of addressing it.

• Have a plan in place for when an intervention is called for.

It could be as simple as a five-minute walk, some deep breaths or a secret cue between the two of you.

• Don’t allow other people to dictate your schedule, and don’t hesitate to scale back your activities and commitments.

• Resist the temptation to overdo and make up for missed years of being together. Start small and keep it simple.

• Embrace existing family traditions that will work for your new family dynamics, but don’t hesitate to make changes and create new traditions.

One of the greatest challenges that many foster or adoptive parents face during the holidays is equity of gifts between the children. Some may have extended family or even former foster parents that are still a part of their lives who may give gifts to them while other children in the home may feel even more rejected because they have no such connections. No matter how we wish we could instantly convince them that they are valued, loved and accepted, they may struggle for years with feelings of rejection.

Stephanie Bass, the mother of two international older children adoptees and a biological child, expressed the importance of finding a good support system for parents. “Find a group of adoptive moms/ families with whom you can share these feelings… they are more likely to listen and offer support from a place of ‘I’ve been there.’”

Don’t expect the day, yourself or your children to be perfect.

Apply grace liberally and keep in mind a favorite beatitude that I wrote for myself long ago. “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break.”

Stephanie Rodda lives in the Birmingham area with her family. She is an author, inspirational speaker, blogger and freelance writer who aspires to inform and inspire others concerning adoption.

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, Inc.

Listed in alphabetical order, here are the Favorite Kids Docs 2019, and what some of you had to say about them: + Dr. Amy Albert, Mayfair Pediatrics

“Dr. Amy Albert takes the time to get to know each child and does a very thorough exam to ensure she doesn’t miss anything. Her diagnoses have always been 100% correct and specialists are complimentary of her assessments. Dr. Albert has cared for my two kids for 13 years.”

+

Dr. Abby Allen, Pediatrics West “My kids love her.”

+

Dr. Hilary Anderson, Urgent Care for Children “Excellent pediatrician! Excellent bedside manner.”

+

Dr. Toren Anderson, Greenvale Pediatrics “Dr. Anderson is a great doctor. He gets to know his patients and is very professional. He has an excellent bedside manner.

He is just not administering meds but wants to get to the root of the issue.”

+

Dr. Allury Arora, Urgent Care for Children “Wonderful skills, both in medical and leadership.”

+

Birmingham Parent Announces Your Favorite Kids’ Docs for 2019 Back by popular demand is our Favorite Kids’ Docs list for 2019!

There’s nothing better than a personal referral for a great doctor for you or your child. Imagine a big notebook full of great names for all types of doctors in our area from friends that have used these doctors. This list isn’t just pediatricians – it even includes specialists, orthodontists and dentists.

Now you have the idea behind the Birmingham Parent’s Favorite Kids’ Docs campaign. It’s a great list for parents, and a way to honor and credit the faithful, caring and professional doctors and medical professionals who serve our children every day in our community.

The process is totally reader driven – we call for nominations, and moms, dads, and grandparents and other caregivers go online and nominate a favorite kids’ doctor and tell us why. There’s no prize for nominating – just the opportunity to tell folks why you love your child’s doctor and afford them an honor in our magazine.

This is our sixth year to honor area doctors, and offer you, the reader, a little parent-to-parent advice.

When you see our little logo in your doctor’s office, know that your doctor is a “Birmingham Parent Favorite Kids’ Doc!” Watch for a new promotion in 2020.

30 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

Dr. Bassam Babi, Babi Pediatrics “Great clinic and doctor.”

+

Dr. Sheridyn Breedlove, Acton Road Pediatrics “Dr. Breedlove is AMAZING with my daughters! She values their opinions and input, and noticeably focuses on them.

Each visit, she makes them feel extra special and important.

We never feel rushed as she is the type who pulls up a chair and really listens.”

+

Dr. Megan Bullard, Columbiana Clinic “She is kind and takes time with her patients to listen and answer their questions.”

+

Dr. Daniel Carter, Greenvale Pediatrics “Dr. Carter is amazing! He never makes you feel rushed during a visit and he takes time to listen to all of your concerns and discuss them in detail. As a first-time mom, it's so nice to have a pediatrician who tells me that I'm doing a great job.”

+

Dr. Reka Chadalawada, Sylacauga Pediatrics “She is amazing! She knows all our babies personally and she genuinely cares about their well-being! She's not just an "in and out" doctor! We absolutely adore her! There isn't another like her!”

+

Dr. John Cortopassi, Greenvale Pediatrics Hoover “Dr. Cortopassi is a caring and kind physician.”

+

Dr. Betsy Crum, Vestavia Pediatrics “We are on the second generation of Vestavia Pediatrics patients. We loved Dr. Smith and now Dr. Crum although all of their doctors are wonderful!”

+

Dr. Jonathan Curtis, Cahaba Valley Pediatric Dentistry

“Dr. Curtis and his staff are compassionate, professional, and excellent at what they do each day. My kids love to visit the dentist and are never afraid to go. He and his staff are kind to my kids and they give exceptional service. We love CVPD!”

+

+

Dr. John Farr, Birmingham Pediatrics “Dr. Farr has been my son’s pediatrician for 13 years now. He was diagnosed with meningitis when he was 6 months old and we were highly dissatisfied with the pediatrician he had at the time.

We were referred to Dr. Farr. He has been the best ever since!”

Dr. Delinda Davis, Tots & Teens “She is very knowledgeable and understanding. Explanations are given to where all can understand.”

+

Dr. Julie Dennis, Over the Mountain Pediatrics “Dr. Dennis always takes time to explain everything and makes the kids feel comfortable. She even called me on her day off one day to follow up about one of my kids.”

+

Dr. Jason Dickerson, Pelham Eye Care/My Eye Dr. “Dr. Jason Dickerson is very good at getting children to provide meaningful feedback during an eye exam, even for a very shy child. He never talks down to them and explains things to them in a way they can understand.”

+

Dr. Diane Dietlein, Pediatrics East “She is so sweet!”

+

Dr. Brian Dudgeon, Greenvale Pediatrics “Dr. Dudgeon and his staff are fantastic. They have cared for both of my girls since birth. Dr. Dudgeon always takes his time and patiently answers all of our questions...providing handouts for this absent-minded momma!”

Dr. Parisa Dudley, Callahan Eye Foundation “Dr. Parisa Dudley is one of the most caring optometrists in Birmingham. My children love her.”

+

+

Dr. Rosemary Faust, Eastern Health Center “Dr. Faust is friendly and takes her job seriously. She listens to the parents’ concerns and helps you to better understand what is going on with your child. She is a wonderful person, who makes coming to the doctor feel less threatening to a child and my children love her. “

+

Dr. Jeff Flannery, Oak Mountain Pediatric Dentistry “Dr. Flannery is a great dentist! He is so caring, patient and gentle with children. His staff are all great as well! Highly recommend!”

+

Dr. Liesel French, Birmingham Pediatrics Dr. French is simply amazing! She takes time with you and your child to really listen and encourage them. She’s funny and approachable and has recommended many books and tips she used with her own children.

continued on page. 32

birminghamparent.com | 31

+ Dr. Stacey Gilbert, Mayfair Medical Group “We love Dr. Gilbert!”

+

Dr. Teresa Goldsmith, Birmingham Pediatrics “Dr. Goldsmith is attentive and answers all of my questions no matter how silly or how numerous they are. She takes great care of my little one.”

+

Dr. Judy Habeeb, Mayfair Medical Group “Dr. Habeeb is a great doctor and talented at diagnosing and providing proper medical attention as needed. She is kind and personable and always makes both patient and parent feel welcome and appreciated.”

+

Dr. Max Hale, Birmingham Pediatrics “Dr. Hale always listens to our concerns and questions and answers them appropriately. He is also calming and very laid back which is good for my personality! My son also loves Dr. Hale!”

+

Dr. Phillip Harmon, Children’s Pediatrics, Deerfoot “Dr. Harmon is a great doctor all around. He has a great attitude and always listens to your concerns. He goes above and beyond to help you. Normally able to get a same-day appointment with him; although you might have to wait a little, he is very helpful. Compassionate!”

+

Dr. Elizabeth Irons, Greenvale Pediatrics Dr. Irons takes time to thoroughly listen to your concerns and answer all of your questions. She doesn't rush you through your appointments, and she's a very caring doctor. Highly recommend!”

+

+

Dr. Alison McAfee, Acton Road Pediatrics “Dr. McAfee is such a caring pediatrician. She really takes time to sit down and talk not only with the parents, but with the child too. Her being a mom make her super relatable when it comes to having concerns. I highly recommend her.”

+

Dr. Andrew McCown, Southlake Pediatrics “Dr. McCown is awesome! He listens to my concerns and is very thorough!”

+

Dr. Andrea Nunes, Liberty Park Family Dentistry “We love Dr. Nunes! She is amazing with the whole family! Very knowledgeable, caring and patient! All my kids love coming to the dentist because they always have a wonderful, fun experience with Dr. Nunes!”

+

Dr. Jamie Powell, Mayfair Medical Group “Dr. Powell always takes time to listen and talk with us. She is incredibly thorough and always pleasant. We are heard, our concerns are taken seriously and she is very knowledgeable and attentive. She supports the parent taking an active role in their child's care.”

+

Dr. Charlotte Prejean, Pediatrics West “Dr Prejean is intelligent, yet personable and down to earth.

She makes the best decisions for each of my children individually. I’m a high strung mom, being a pediatric nurse, but her laid back, calm demeanor works.”

Dr. Tabitha Jarmon-Gatrey, Pediatric Smiles “She’s loving, patient and kind. She has a genuine concern for her patients and her practice is clean and very well run.

We’ve been with her for years and always reference her for pediatric dental care!”

+

+

+

Dr. Joseph Jolly, Greenvale Pediatrics “I simply cannot recommend Dr. Jolly enough. He is always willing to answer and investigate any concerns a parent has.

He has an amazing bedside manner!”

+

Dr. Robert Levin, Alabama Pediatrics “Dr. Levin is at outstanding doctor! He was actually my doctor when I was a child and is now my son’s doctor. He always takes the time to listen to my concerns and truly cares about my child.”

+ Dr. Teresa Magruder, Pulmonology – Children’s of Alabama

“Dr. Magruder is a great pulmonologist. She takes her time with my girls, there is never a rush to move on to the next patient. She takes her time to listen to your concerns and then she explains all the possible options. She works very well with children. Great doctor!”

32 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

Dr. Angela Redmond, Pediatrics East “Dr. Redmond is amazing! She takes time to listen to the concerns of the parent and the patient. She is always very positive and encouraging. I also love her bright smile.”

Dr. Fadel Savany, North Jefferson Pediatrics “He is awesome!”

+

Dr. Nicholas Smith, Children’s of Alabama ENT “Dr. Smith is so caring and makes you feel at ease about your child’s condition. He is always open to answer any questions and has taken such good care of my daughter!”

+

Dr. Weily Soong, Alabama Allergy and Asthma “Dr. Soong is AMAZING! Let's just say when my daughter began her treatment at age 2, she left the monthly visit stating that Dr. Soong was her best friend! Dr. Soong always dropped to his knees, at her eye level, to greet her! Love Dr. Soong.”

+ Dr. Stephanie Steinmetz, Steinmetz Pediatric Dentistry “She and her staff are all so loving and kind!”

CALLAHAN EYE HOSPITAL & CLINICS PEDIATRIC OPHTHALMOLOGY AND OPTOMETRY SERVICES UAB Callahan Eye Hospital & Clinics is committed to providing comprehensive pediatric eye care. Our experienced ophthalmologists and optometrists provide a wide variety of eye care services, including: eye exams, eyeglasses and contact lenses, cataract and strabismus evaluations, and a full-service optical store where all patients receive 15% off.

PEDIATRIC LOCATIONS UAB Callahan Eye Hospital 1720 University Blvd., Birmingham, AL 35233

Cahaba River 2801 Old 280 Court, Vestavia Hills, AL 35243

Children’s South 1940 Elmer J. Bissell Road, Suite B, Birmingham, AL 35243

Gardendale 960 Mount Olive Road, Suite 120, Gardendale, AL 35071

Hoover - OPENING DECEMBER 2019 501 Emery Drive West, Suite 1101A, Hoover, AL 35244

Pell City 7067 Veterans Parkway, Suite 240, Pell City, AL 35125

To schedule an appointment, please call or text 844.UAB.EYES, or visit UABMEDICINE.ORG/EYE.

birminghamparent.com | 33

+

Dr. Julia Stewart, Greenvale Pediatrics “Dr. Stewart is attentive and very interactive with my son.

She always seems to be available if I have any questions or concerns. She seems to love caring for children.”

+

Dr. Richard Stone, Vestavia Pediatrics “He is so patient and kind with our children. He listens and is attentive and takes all the time in the world during our visits! We love Dr. Stone!”

+

Dr. Tracy Tindle, Children’s Medical Group “Dr. Tindle has been my children's doctor since birth and she is awesome! She can relate because she is a mom also. I moved away to Tuscaloosa and I still make the drive for their appointments because she is an awesome doctor!”

+

Dr. Ryan Walley, Redmont Pediatrics “We love Dr. Walley and the entire practice! They always have time to see us, whether it’s well child check-ups or a kid who comes home sick from school!”

+

Dr. Peter Weiser, Rheumatology – Children’s of Alabama “Dr. Weiser is not a pediatrician, but he is an excellent pediatric rheumatologist. He has a great sense of humor and he works really well with small children and teens.”

+

Dr Audie Woolley, Pediatric ENT Associates “Dr. Woolley has been my son’s ENT since 2007. My son has a hearing loss from years of chronic ear infections and ruptured eardrums and wears a hearing aid. Dr. Woolley has always been exceptionally thorough.”

+

Did you know you can sponsor a baby's diaper need for as low as $10/month?

Dr. Garland Youngblood, Pediatrics East “Dr. Youngblood is absolutely amazing! She has always provided easement to my family with every concern and has shown nothing less than a high level of professionalism.”

Visit bundlesdiaperbank.org and signup for a recurring monthly donation to BLESS A LOCAL FAMILY

Did you know you Businesses, local organizations & individuals all welcome! can sponsor a 205-607-2112 baby's diaper need www.bundlesdiaperbank.org for as low as info@bundlesdiaperbank.org $10/month?1/8h open Visit bundlesdiaperbank.org and signup for a recurring monthly donation to BLESS A LOCAL FAMILY Businesses, local organizations & individuals all welcome!

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34 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

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205.638.PIRC (7472)

Psychiatric Intake Response Center (PIRC)

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The PIRC is generously supported by additional funding from the Hill Crest Foundation, Brasfield and Gorrie, LLC, and the Gorrie family.

Navigating mental health resources for those who care for children and teens l

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Open seven days a week, year-round from 8 a.m. to 11 p.m.

The PIRC is not a crisis hotline. Anyone experiencing a crisis should call 911 or go to the nearest Emergency Room.

Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should call the 24-hour, 7 day a week National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

A COMMUNITY BUILT ON WARMTH We never forget that there’s more to care than medicine. There’s compassion. Attentiveness.

And a healthy dose of kindness. Which is why when it comes to your care, all of us are here to treat you well.

Find a physician at BrookwoodBaptistHealth.com

To us every baby is a special delivery. birminghamparent.com | 35

ASK TH E S P E C I AL I ST

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Flu and Pneumonia Shots – Why Get Vaccinated

By Dr. Marie Pittman

The flu vaccine is available in two forms – a shot and nasal spray. Check with your doctor to see which type is best for you or your children.

It is getting to be that time of year again.

Children are back at school, and leaves are starting to fall from the trees. The beginning of flu season is here. Now would be a good time to get your annual flu shot. And you may want to think about a pneumonia vaccine to help prevent pneumococcal infections that can cause pneumonia, meningitis and blood infections.

The best time to get your vaccination is in September or as soon as the vaccine becomes available, because infection-fighting antibodies that provide protection against the flu generally take about two weeks to develop in the body.

But even if you wait until December or later, a flu shot may still help prevent illness since the flu season can last until May. It is important to remember that a vaccination does not offer complete protection against illness, but it is 70 to 90 percent effective for healthy adults.

Even if you do get the flu after being vaccinated, you are at less risk of developing flu-related complications such as pneumonia, heart attack or stroke.

The flu vaccine is available in two forms – a shot and nasal spray. Check with your doctor to see which type is best for you or your children.

While you may experience side effects from a vaccination, a flu shot does not cause the flu. An

annual vaccination is recommended because strains of flu virus change from year to year.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that everyone older than 6 months receive an annual flu shot.

Certain groups of people are at higher risk of developing complications from the flu or may spread the disease to people at high risk, including: • Pregnant women • Children younger than 5, but especially children younger than 2 years old • People 65 years of age and older • People of any age with certain chronic medical conditions • People who live in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities People who live with or care for those at high risk for complications from flu, including: • Health care workers

The vaccine should not be given to people who currently have a fever, had a previous allergic reaction to a vaccine, developed Guillain-Barré syndrome, or are allergic to chicken eggs.

Certain at-risk groups also should receive a vaccine against pneumonia, which kills more Americans than all other vaccine-preventable diseases combined. The CDC recommends the pneumonia vaccine for anyone over age 65, adults ages 19-64 with chronic diseases such as lung, heart, liver or kidney disease, those with asthma or diabetes and any condition that would weaken the immune system. If you currently smoke, you may want to talk to your doctor about the pneumonia vaccine.

The pneumococcal polysaccharide vaccine protects older children and adults against 23 types of pneumonia-causing bacteria within two to three weeks after vaccination.

The one-dose shot also is recommended for people who have long-term health problems or a lowered resistance to infection.

The pneumococcal conjugate vaccine is approved for children under the age of two. The vaccine is routinely given to children in four doses at the ages of two, four and six months, and then between 12 and 15 months of age.

The vaccine may be given to children up to five years old who have not already been vaccinated or are at high risk of serious pneumococcal disease.

Both a flu shot and pneumococcal vaccine can help avoid illness, but neither can guarantee that you will not get sick. If you want to stay healthy this fall and winter season, remember to wash your hands regularly; stay away from people who are ill; avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth; and get your flu and pneumonia shots.

• Household contacts of persons at high risk for complications from the flu • Household contacts and out of home caregivers of children less than 6 months of age (these children are too young to be vaccinated)

36 | birminghamparent | November/December 2019

Dr. Marie Pittman M.D. is a boardcertified family medicine physician in Pelham and she is affiliated with Shelby Baptist Medical Center.

birminghamparent.com | 37

PET PAGE

DOGS AND THE HOWL-IDAYS

By Rebecca Mason, CPDT-KA, CTDI, M.Ed.

Before you know it, the holidays will be upon us! Where does that leave Fido?

I recently polled some of my students about their dogs’ behavior on holidays (or things relatives do that worsen that behavior!). Twelve students mentioned jumping, three mentioned trying to escape, four mentioned stealing food, six mentioned relatives giving their dogs human food without their permission, and seven mentioned both adults and children either poking fun at, or causing, aggressive or fearful behavior.

Whenever I have a student who says, “I just want my dogs to stop _______!”

I try to help them rethink things. Instead of thinking of it as stopping a behavior, I say, “What do you want your dogs to do instead?” Then we start training them to do that. However, depending on what you’re training them to do, it can take weeks or even months, and sometimes the goal isn’t realistic (i.e., be perfectly calm and show zero curiosity while 20-plus kids, moms, dads, and grandparents walk back and forth, go inside and out, cook, eat, open gifts, play with toys, etc.).

Throw your dog a bone here, folks! There are reasonable expectations and there are unreasonable expectations. Whenever you teach a dog a new behavior, it should be taught in a quiet environment. If the dog can master the skill with no distractions, then you can start adding distractions gradually. A dog who has only been taught to sit and stay for 30 seconds in a quiet room shouldn’t be expected to stay longer in a busy, bustling kitchen with the aroma of Grandma’s pumpkin pie cooking! Is it doable? Probably, with time and practice.

But most people skip the baby steps in the middle, expecting their dog to go from a very basic form of a behavior to an advanced one too quickly. They set their dogs up to fail and then get mad when the dog doesn’t perform.

It will take time, but you can start now, working on teaching some good “uh-oh, the guests are coming” behaviors. Waiting at doorways instead of dashing through, settling on their bed when people are eating, having a solid “leave it” when food is dropped on the floor, and coming when called are all important commands to have.

Seek out a certified trainer who is wellversed in positive reinforcement methods and they can show you how.

More than likely though, you need something immediate! That’s where management comes into play. Management simply means setting dogs up to succeed by preventing them from practicing undesirable behaviors and finding a way to keep them happily occupied when needed.

First, exercise your dog before guests arrive. A tired dog is a good dog! Second, buy a waist leash and tether your dog to you so she can’t jump on everyone. With her attached to you, Uncle Rob can’t sneak her fatty foods that can make her sick, and she won’t be running out the door or counter-surfing either. You’ll also be right there to supervise, so kids won’t be able to provoke her.

If all else fails, crate your dog in another room with a special treat. If you want her to be a part of the festivities, you can put her crate in the den, so she’s present but contained. Lastly, I recommend posting some rules for interactions with your doon

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your fridge. Show it to all guests, and if they break the rules, they don’t get to interact, even if this means putting your dog up.

You are the only advocate your dog has, the only one who can speak for her. Your dog’s safety, from both table scraps and the busy street that’s just on the other side of your door, is what’s most important. Happy holidays!

You May Interact with My Dog If...

• I am watching and have given my permission • You only give her approved snacks from me • You pet her in the calm way I show you • You respect her boundaries and back off if I tell you to • You back off immediately if she tries to get away, growls, shows teeth, licks her lips, or yawns

You May NOT Interact in These Ways…

• Leaning or reaching over my dog’s head • Hugging or kissing her • Startling or yelling at her • Chasing her Hi, I’m Josie!

I’m cute, sweet, and worth the trouble!

Rebecca Mason is a certified dog trainer and owner of Love Them Train Them LLC in Birmingham. She is a former elementary school teacher and is passionate about working with families to channel their dogs’ energy positively.

• NEW! Doggie daycare, rates for half and full days, great for socialization, separation anxiety, manners and exercise • Pet grooming & self wash options • Drive thru & pick up at door • Coming in September: Training classes with Love Them, Train Them

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A Page in a Book

©

RECOMMENDING THE BEST BOOKS FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS

By Gerry P. Smith

Busy Before Bedtime The Cat’s Out of the (Book) Bag One of the most popular domesticated animals in the world, cats are often the first pet to capture a child’s imagination and love.

Simultaneously affectionate and mysterious, cats deliver benefits to kids that help them grow in unexpected ways. Sharing your home with a cat can reduce the likelihood of a child developing allergies and asthma. Cats are also ideal teachers of socialization, showing children how to ‘read’ physical cues that indicate a welcome interaction or signal a need for space. Soothing or playful, loving or aloof, cats have a vibrant footprint in our shared environment. For the cat-curious, the following titles feature felines, front and center, with their own stories to tell.

Vincent Comes Home

By Jessixa Bagley and Aaron Bagley (Roaring Brook / Macmillan)

As a cargo ship crisscrosses the ocean, visiting exotic ports of call, Vincent the cat moves with ease among the sailors, an unofficial member of the crew. His days filled with fresh fish, seagull chases, and the camaraderie of ship’s complement, Vincent enjoys the life of a sea-borne vagabond. But as he hears the crew talking with anticipation about returning home, Vincent begins to wonder what ‘home’ is. When the ship docks in its home port, Vincent disembarks for the first time, looking for home. Wandering through an unfamiliar world, a chance meeting suggests that Vincent has had a home all along. With crisp illustrations that celebrate the adventure of travel paired with the comfort of family, Vincent Comes Home earns its residence on every child’s bookshelf.

Max Attacks

By Kathi Appelt, Illustrated by Penelope Dullaghan (Atheneum / Simon & Schuster)

A bowl of goldfish tantalizes Max, who has a plan to attack the tempting target.

With laser-like focus, he makes his stealthy approach.

But, wait! The flick of a lizard’s tail on the window screen pulls Max off task as he claws his way toward a new goal. Before he can return to the fish mission, Max must navigate a houseful of swishy, flickering, dangling distractions. A catnip mouse, an errant shoestring, a basket of socks, all send Max into attack mode while the fishbowl falls down his list of priorities. Or does it? Young cat fans will share the anticipation of the bundled crouch that signals feline jump prep and delight in keeping score with Max as he chalks up his hunting ‘wins’ in a household filled with moving goals.

40 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

I Hate My Cats (A Love Story)

By Davide Cali and Anna Pirolli (Chronicle Kids)

Purring at artichokes, speaking to pigeons, sticking her whole head into shoes, Ginger is the weird cat. The other feline in the house, Fred, enjoys a lazier life. He naps in every corner, his waking hours punctuated by the power of invisibility when playful (or when a vacuum is near). Together, their signature moves and moods can add up to a real challenge for the human in the house. Capturing the charisma that is unique to cats, Pirolli’s illustrations perfectly render the entertaining emotional exchange our cats share with us and the distinct style they stamp into our households. An ideal gift for cat fans of every age, I Hate My Cats (A Love Story) is an absolutely charming homage to the peculiar behaviors and eccentricities that endear our feline friends to us, even at their most maddening.

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FAMILY TRAVEL

4242| |birminghamparent 2019 birminghamparent| |NOVEMBER/DECEMBER NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

MARGARITAVILLE COMES TO

GATLINBURG

By Lori Chandler Pruitt After a nice, long day of sightseeing and shopping in the Great Smoky Mountains in Gatlinburg, it was great to walk into Margaritaville Resort Gatlinburg in the heart of downtown and experience …. a luxury beach resort!

In case you’re wondering, yes, it works. It works very well. Margaritaville Resort Gatlinburg, which opened in June 2018, combines a strong island vibe, a casual but luxury atmosphere and absolutely wonderful service amidst the mountains. The magic includes a wonderful, fragrant lobby with plenty of comfy places to relax and fresh fruit flavored water.

It works so well that it has already been distinguished as the country’s Best New Hotel in the USA TODAY 10Best Readers Choice travel awards, ranked No. 1 among 20 finalist hotels from across the nation.

Part of the Margaritaville collection of hotels and resorts, it is seven stories tall, has 163 rooms, the full-service St. Somewhere Spa, an indoor pool, an outdoor pool area with a large two-loop waterslide, a children’s pool, a hot tub, water play, an outdoor firepit and gathering areas, three great casual restaurants, including a LandShark Bar & Grill, a fitness center, event space, an island-themed gift shop. There are many room combinations, including unique family suite options with a children’s room. Another of the many great features of the resort is Jimmy’s Hideaway, an exclusive bungalow on its own island with a secret garden and just steps away from the resort.

We ate at all three restaurants, and were very happy with the fresh, delicious meals served by the friendly and competent staff. Our room was beautiful, comfortable, quiet and so relaxing. The room combined the rustic with the contemporary, with a stacked-stone, seasonal fireplace and a spacious bathroom with dual rain shower features. We enjoyed a private balcony with a mountain view, too.

It’s very possible to just park the car and experience Gatlinburg when you stay here.

That’s because the resort is on the main parkway, conveniently next to Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies, where the main trolley station also is located, all the great shopping and restaurants, and right across the street from one of the area’s newest and neatest attractions, the Anakeesta outdoor family theme park. The resort is only a mile from the Great Smoky Mountains National Park – great for outdoor enthusiasts – but if you just want a taste of the national park, take the city of Gatlinburg’s “tan” trolley route for a great tour.

For more information on the resort and to book your stay, call 888-447-0222 or see www.margaritavilleresortgatlinburg.com.

PHOTOS COURTESY MARGARITAVILLE RESORT GATLINBURG

birminghamparent.com | 43

44 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

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46 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

calendar highlights

nov/dec/jan

Give thanks, honor our veterans, celebrate the Christmas holidays and then turn the page to a brand new year! This calendar has three months of great events, with traditional happenings as well as new ones.

JAN. 20, MONDAY Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

NOV. 11 – VETERANS DAY National Veterans Day Parade

1:30pm, Birmingham. Stand and be counted! Parade starts at Richard Arrington Jr. Blvd. and 1st Ave. S., and ends at 1st Ave. S and 20th St. S. nationalveteransday.org.

DEC. 3

UAB Christmas at the Alys 7-9pm, Alys Stephens Center. UAB choirs and high school and community choirs perform a lively holiday concert.

Tickets $8 general admission, $5 students.

birminghamparent.com | 47

nov/dec/jan calendar

November 1 Friday

Coffee Concert: Peer Gynt and Polovtsian Dances 11am, Alys Stephens Center. Journey with the Alabama Symphony Orchestra to Norway with Grieg’s beloved Peer Gynt suites. Tickets, 205-975-2787, www.alabamasymphony.org

of proceeds go to programs, client services and advocacy. Register, epilepsyfoundation.donordrive.com Moss Rock Festival 10-5pm, The Preserve, Hoover.

An eco-creative festival exploring nature, smart living, art and design.

Two-day festival. Live music, market, kids’ activities and more. www.mossrockfestival.com

2 Saturday

Family Yoga 10-10:30am, 10:30-11am, Homewood Library. Register online, www.homewoodpubliclibrary.org.

45th Annual Vulcan Run 10K 8am, Sloss Furnaces National Historic Landmark. One of the most popular road races in the Southeast.

Register, www.birminghamtrackclub. com/vulcan-run-10k.php/

Thank You, Veterans!

North Shelby Library. During Nov. 1-29, children and adults can drop by the children’s department to write a letter or make a card to thank veterans for their service! Letters will be collected and delivered to Operation Gratitude on Friday, Dec. 2. Contact 205-439-5505 or mail to: nschild@shelbycounty-al. org, for more information.

The Market at Pepper Place 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 29th St. S. Rain or shine! www.pepperplacemarket.com

Self Defense for Teen Girls 10-11:30am, Homewood Library.

Teacher: Karen Mitchell from Impact Martial Arts. Open to 6th-12th graders. Registration required. FREE. www.homewoodpubliclibrary.org Walk to End Epilepsy 10am-1pm, Railroad Park. Familyfriendly walk. Register as an individual or a team; 100 percent

3 Sunday

Moss Rock Festival 10-4pm, The Preserve, Hoover, see Nov. 2.

Out of the Darkness Alabama Community Walk 1pm check-in/registration; 2:30pm, walk begins, Veterans Park, Hoover.

Presented by American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Register at walk or online at www.afsp.org/ Birmingham. Free to participate.

4 Monday

Homeschool STEAM Club 10-10:45am, Homewood Library. K-5 graders learn the basics of flight.

Knight Chess Tournament 5:30pm, Homewood Library. K-12 graders can learn strategy and have fun! FREE.

5 Tuesday

Teen Homeschoolers: Alabama String Art 1-3pm, Homewood Library. Open to 6-12 graders. Celebrate our state’s bicentennial celebration by making Alabama artwork. FREE. Register at homewood.libnet.info/event

6 Wednesday

Young People’s Concert: Dare to be Brave!

9:30am, Samford University Wright Center. Be transported to the world of symphonic greats by seeing some of history’s heroes through the eyes of the composer. Aimed to 3-6 graders. Tickets $8. www.alabamasymphony.org UAB Brass Ensemble Recital 7pm, Alys Stephens Center. Brass ensemble students under the

direction of Dr. James Zingara. FREE.

7 Thursday

Young People’s Concert: Dare to be Brave!

9:30am, Thompson High School, see Nov. 6.

8 Friday

Young People’s Concert: Dare to be Brave!

9:30am, Thompson High School, see Nov. 6.

Alabama Bicentennial: My Alabama Book Signing 1-2pm, Homewood Library. Author/ photographer John Dersham will present and sign his book. Books available for purchase.

Tea Rex Party 4-5pm, North Shelby Library.

All ages. Come partake of tea, “biscuits,” and other light lizard refreshments. Practice dinosaur manners, make a craft and other fun activities. Fancy dinosaur dress encouraged but not required.

Registration required; space limited. www.northshelbylibrary.org

9 Saturday

The Market at Pepper Place 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 29th St. S. Rain or shine! www.pepperplacemarket.com

PLEASE NOTE: Calendar information may be mailed to Birmingham Parent, P.O. Box 326, Helena, AL 35080; fax to 205-624-2415; e-mail to calendar@BirminghamParent.com; or enter directly to the online calendar at www.birminghamparent.com. Entries added online after the print deadline will not appear in the print version. Information cannot be accepted over the phone. Birmingham Parent publishes a calendar 6 times a year. January events are included in the November/December issue. Deadline for the February 2020 issue is January 8, 2020. Guidelines: Birmingham Parent’s calendar is intended to be a resource and service to the community and our readers. Events which are open to the public, fundraisers, free classes, etc., are events that may be included in our monthly calendar. We reserve the right to reject any event or listing due to rules or space restrictions.

For questions regarding calendar entries, call 205-624-2405 or e-mail calendar@birminghamparent.com. You may also fax information to 205-624-2415.

48 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

5th Annual Holiday Bazaar & Book Sale 9am-4pm, North Shelby Library.

Family Bird Watching 9-11am, Birmingham Botanical Gardens. Enjoy a discussion on bird feeding and identification, followed by a bird walk. Non-members $15, members $12. www.bbgardens.org

10 Sunday

Southeastern Outings Dayhike 1:45pm, Oak Mountain State Park. A moderate 4-mile walk with some ups and downs. Children 8-up welcome.

Optional dinner after the hike. Meet 1:45pm, park office parking lot. Park admission $5/person, $2 seniors, plus a drink. Doris Hatch, 205-901-8367.

UAB Jazz Ensemble Concert 7:30pm, Alys Stephens Center.

Directed by Dr. Steve Roberts. FREE.

11 Monday – Veterans Day

National Veterans Day Parade 1:30pm, Birmingham. Stand and be counted! Parade starts at Richard Arrington Jr. Blvd. and 1st Ave. S., and ends at 1st Ave. S and 20th St. S. nationalveteransday.org.

16 Saturday

The Market at Pepper Place 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 29th St. S. Rain or shine! www.pepperplacemarket.com A Southern Christmas Bazaar 9am-5pm, Pelham Civic Complex & Ice Arena. More than 50 craftsmen, artisans and merchants from Alabama and surrounding states participating!

Adults $7, children $3, children 6-younger, FREE. $1 discount with donation of one canned food for Manna Ministries.

Southeastern Outings Dayhike 9:45am, Black Creek Trail, Fultondale.

Walk 6 miles on a smooth, wide and level rails-to-trails route. Children 7-up welcome. Meet 9:45am at the Black Creek Park for departure at 10am. Dan Frederick, seoutings@ bellsouth.net, 205-631-4680 ASYO Fall Concert: Russian Classics 2pm, Alys Stephens Center. Journey to Russia as the youth orchestra performs masterpieces from Shostakovich, Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky. www.alabamasymphony.com

UAB Percussion Ensemble 7:30pm, Alys Stephens Center.

Directed by Dr. Gene Fambrough.

FREE.

Tchaikovsky’s Fourth Symphony 7pm, Alys Stephens Center. Alabama Symphony Orchestra performs.

Tickets, information, 205-975-2787, www.alabamasymphony.org

12 Tuesday

17 Sunday

Homeschool Hour: Dissection Day 2-3pm, Homewood Library. Discover science in a whole new light. Grades 4-12. All supplies provided. Register at www.homewoodpubliclibrary.org Arias and Art Songs 7pm, Alys Stephens Center. Newlycomposed solo vocal music by area composers. FREE.

13 Wednesday

UAB Jazz Combo 7pm, Hansell/Hulsey Center, UAB. Directed by Dr. Steve Roberts and Professor Carlos Pino. FREE.

14 Thursday

Piano Studio/Piano Ensembles 7:30pm, Hansell/Hulsey Center, UAB.

15 Friday

Coffee Concert: Tchaikovsky’s Fourth Symphony 11am, Alys Stephens Center. Alabama Symphony Orchestra performs.

Tickets, information, 205-975-2787, www.alabamasymphony.org Tchaikovsky’s Fourth Symphony 7pm, Alys Stephens Center. Alabama Symphony Orchestra performs.

Tickets, information, 205-975-2787, www.alabamasymphony.org

Southeastern Outings Dayhike 1:45pm, Moss Rock Preserve, Hoover.

A moderate 3-mile hike with some climbing up and walking down hills.

Bring water. Children 8-up welcome.

Meet 1:45pm at the preserve parking lot on Patton Chapel Road. Scott Myers, mail to myers.scottv@gmail. com, 205-393-5230 Little Seeds: Nature’s Paintbrush 2:30-4pm, Birmingham Botanical Gardens. Ages 3-plus. Explore the colors of fall while painting with leaves, stamping with apples and crafting with corn. $16 members, $20 non-members. www.bbgardens.org.

18 Monday

Garden Gates 4pm, North Shelby Library. Learn the secrets of beautiful fall colors and make a colorful leaf print. Ages 5-up.

Registration required. www.northshelbylibrary.org

19 Tuesday

Birmingham Sci Café 6-8pm, John’s City Diner. Join other science geeks and novices! Subject: Krill, one of earth’s most vital life forms. www.mcwane.org

birminghamparent.com | 49

nov/dec/jan calendar

DEC. 13-15, 20-22

Alabama Ballet presents George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker®

Samford University Wright Center. The Alabama Ballet is one of only eight companies in the world licensed by The Balanchine Trust to perform this holiday masterpiece. Performances Dec. 13-15 and 20-22. Shows at 7:30pm on Friday-Saturday and at 2:30pm on Saturday-Sunday. Tickets, www.alabamaballet.org.

TM Images The Nutcracker PHOTO COURTESY ALABAMA BALLET

Tchaikovsky’s Piano Trio: Concertmaster & Friends 7:30pm, Samford University Brock Recital Hall. Tickets, www.alabamasymphony.org

21 Thursday

Southeastern Outings Hike 9am, Irondale Furnace to Jemison Park. A one-way, 4-mile moderate hike. Meet 9am in the Macy’s outdoor parking lot, Brookwood Village. Francis Rushton, 205-290-5557 ferushton@gmail.com American Girl Tea Party with Felicity 6-6:45pm, Homewood Library. Bring your favorite stuffed animal or doll for a night of crafts and snacks with American Girl Felicity!

22 Friday

Sensory Storytime 9:30-10am, 10:30-11am, Homewood Library. Preschool. Register online, www.homewoodpubliclibrary.org

23 Saturday

The Market at Pepper Place 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 29th St. S. Rain or shine! www.pepperplacemarket.com

24 Sunday

Handel’s Messiah 3-4:30pm, Riverchase United Methodist Church. The Alabama Civic Chorale will present their 72nd annual performance with soloists and members of the Alabama Symphony Orchestra. FREE.

28 Thursday – Thanksgiving Day 29 Friday

The Mutt-cracker 2pm, 7:30pm, Alabama Theatre. This Birmingham Ballet performance has been featured in media around the world! It’s a new twist on a “classic tail” with canine performers! Tickets, information, 800-745-3000, www.birminghamballet.com Magic Christmas in Lights 5-9pm, Bellingrath Gardens and Home. 23rd annual event. Through December 31st. www.bellingrath.org

30 Saturday

The Market at Pepper Place 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 29th St. S. Rain or shine! www.pepperplacemarket.com

50 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019

The Nutcracker 2pm, 7:30pm, Alabama Theatre.

Celebrate the holidays with Birmingham Ballet’s The Nutcracker, a Magic City holiday tradition. tickets@birminghamballet.com

December 1 Sunday

Performing Arts Center. Enjoy the Alabama Symphony Orchestra as they perform holiday classics you know and love. www.alabamasymphony.com ‘Tis the Season 7-9pm, Alabama School of Fine Arts.

Welcome the holiday season with a concert for the whole family. Tickets, www.asfa.k12.al.us

The Nutcracker 2pm, Alabama Theatre. Celebrate the holidays with Birmingham Ballet’s The Nutcracker, a Magic City holiday tradition. tickets@birminghamballet.com

7 Saturday

2 Monday

Knight School Chess Tournament 5:30-7pm, Homewood Library. Grades K-12 can learn strategy and have fun!

Magic Christmas in Lights 5-9pm, Bellingrath Gardens and Home.

23rd annual event. Through December 31st. www.bellingrath.org

3 Tuesday

8 Sunday

6 Friday

ASYO Merry and Bright 2pm, 4pm, Riverchase Galleria carousel. Hear holiday favorites

UAB Christmas at the Alys 7-9pm, Alys Stephens Center. UAB choirs and high school and community choirs perform a lively holiday concert.

Tickets $8 general admission, $5 students.

Symphonic Holiday Celebration 7pm, Thompson High School

Pepper Place Saturday Market 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 2829 2nd Ave. S. Shop local for the holiday season! Rain or shine. www.pepperplacemarket.com

A Service of Advent Lessons and Carols 9am, 11am, Cathedral Church of the Advent. The Cathedral Choirs sing the traditional service of readings, hymns and choral anthems. FREE.

from the Alabama Symphony Youth Orchestra while you shop! FREE and open to the public.

2:30pm, 1715 27th Ct. S., Homewood, see December 14.

9 Monday

Family Night 6-7:15pm, Vestavia Hills Library in the Forest. 6pm dinner, 6:30-7:15pm program. Program: The Santa Show. All ages! Information, vestavialibrary.org

Wacky Tacky Christmas Light Tour A two-hour bus ride to see the best, worst and wackiest light displays in town! This year’s dates are Dec. 9-12. All proceeds go to scholarships for Fresh Air Family’s science camp, Gross Out Camp! Seating limited; email events@freshairfamily.org to reserve your spot on the bus. Tickets, information, www.freshairfamily.org, www.WackyTacky.org.

10 Tuesday

The Hip Hop Nutcracker 7pm, Alys Stephens Center. A holiday mash-up for the entire family! Tickets, information, www.alysstephens.org.

13 Friday

Sensory Storytime 9:30-10am, 10:30-11am, Homewood Library. Preschool children can enjoy books, songs and activities that stimulate the senses and promote learning in a sensory-inclusive atmosphere. Register, www.homewoodpubliclibrary.org Alabama Ballet presents George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker® Samford University Wright Center. The Alabama Ballet is one of only eight companies in the world licensed by The Balanchine Trust to perform this holiday masterpiece. Performances Dec. 13-15 and 20-22. Shows at 7:30pm on Friday-Saturday and at 2:30pm on Saturday-Sunday. Tickets, www.alabamaballet.org

14 Saturday

Pepper Place Saturday Market 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 2829 2nd Ave. S. Shop local for the holiday season! Rain or shine. www.pepperplacemarket.com.

Happy 200th Birthday, Alabama!

10:30-11:30am, Homewood Library.

December 14, 1819 is Alabama’s birthday; celebrate with special guests, giveaways and cake.

The Dance Foundation presents FREEFORM 5pm, 6:30pm, 1715 27th Ct. S., Homewood. Students and guest artists Sanspointe Dance Company and Germaul Barnes perform. Reservations at thedancefoundation.org or 205-870-0073. After December 14 performance, afterparty with food, drinks and silent auction. FREE. Magic Christmas in Lights 5-9pm, Bellingrath Gardens and Home.

23rd annual event. Through December 31. www.bellingrath.org

15 Sunday

The Dance Foundation presents FREEFORM

17 Tuesday

19 Thursday

42nd Annual Birmingham Boys Choir Christmas Concert 7pm, Briarwood Presbyterian Church.

This concert is the choir’s gift to the community and a great holiday tradition. Seating is open and no ticket is required. birminghamboyschoir.com.

FREE.

21 Saturday

Pepper Place Saturday Market 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 2829 2nd Ave. S. Shop local for the holiday season! Rain or shine. www.pepperplacemarket.com Magic Christmas in Lights 5-9pm, Bellingrath Gardens and Home, Mobile. 23rd annual event. Through December 31. www.bellingrath.org Home for the Holidays 7pm, Alys Stephens Center. Celebrate the season with the Alabama Symphony Orchestra and special guests Caleb Clark, Dolores Hydock and Three on a String. Sing along and hear timeless classics! Tickets, 205-975-2787.

Special Siblings 3:30-4:30pm, Homewood Library. This support group for siblings of special needs children is a place to share ideas, experiences and the everchanging needs of having a sibling with special needs.

24 Tuesday – Christmas Eve 25 Wednesday – Christmas Day

DECEMBER EVENTS 12/07: Happy Birthday Tuscaloosa!

12/14: Breakfast at the North Pole! Pre-register NOW! Three seatings: 8am•9:45am•11:30am 12/21: Christmas Around the World Monday-Saturday 9 - 4:30pm Closed Sunday & Major Holidays 2213 University Blvd. • 205-349-4235

28 Saturday

Pepper Place Saturday Market 7am-noon, Pepper Place, 2829 2nd Ave. S. Shop local for the holiday season! Rain or shine. www.pepperplacemarket.com LEGO Wars 11-11:45am, Vestavia Hills Library in the Forest. Create something wonderful and win a prize! Kindergarten-up.

Magic Christmas in Lights 5-9pm, Bellingrath Gardens and Home.

23rd annual event. Through December 31st. www.bellingrath.org

31 Tuesday – New Year’s Eve

NOVEMBER EVENTS 11/02: Storm SCIENCE! Thunder, weather vanes & hurricane art!

11/09: CHOM Rocks! #TheKindnessRocksProject #CHOMRocks #ALRocks 11/16: Fables & Fairy Tales! Nat’l Young Readers Week! STEAM projects!

11/23: Autumn Cornucopia! Relays, scarecrows & painting!

11/30: Show Your Spirit! Endurance FX Game Zone!

chomonline.org Facebook.com/CHOM.Tuscaloosa Twitter.com/@chomonline Instagram: chomtusc

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January 2020 1 Wednesday New Year’s Day 2 Thursday

Birmingham Bowl 2pm, Legion Field. Information, tickets, www.birminghambowl.com.

6 Monday

Knight School Chess Tournament 5:30-7pm, Homewood Library. Learn strategy and have fun! Grades K-12.

15 Wednesday

Kids Create: LEGO Challenge 3:30-4:15pm, Homewood Library.

K-5th grade.

18 Saturday

MLK 5K Drum Run 7am register, 8am, run begins, 4th Avenue Historic District/Civil Rights District. Cost, information, www.mlkday5kbham.com.

20 Monday – Dr. Martin

21 Tuesday

Disneynature: Penguins Film Screening 3:30pm, Homewood Library. This all-new feature film is a coming-ofage story about an Adelie penguin named Steve.

Luther King, Jr. Day

events & attractions Aldridge Botanical Gardens 3530 Lorna Road, Hoover. 205-682-8019, www.aldridgegardens.com

Special Saturdays. On the second Saturday of each month from 10-11am for ages 8-up, the Birmingham Zoo and KultureCity presents a series of zoo-based learning experiences for children and adolescents with cognitive or physical disabilities.

Caregivers must attend all classes. FREE; space is limited to 10 students per class.

Information, Roger Torbert, rtorbert@birminghamzoo.com.

2630 Cahaba Road, Birmingham.

205-879-0409, www.birminghamzoo.com

Alabama Jazz Hall of Fame 1631 Fourth Ave. N., Birmingham.205-254-2731, www.jazzhall.com Alabama School of Fine Arts 1800 Rev. Abraham Woods, Jr. Blvd., www.asfa.k12.al.us

Alabama Wildlife Center 100 Terrace Drive, Pelham. 205-663-7930. www.awrc.org American Village Colonial Christmas Lunches and Tours.

10:30am-noon (tour, lunch); noon-2:30pm (lunch, tour), Monday through Friday, from December 3-7. Pre-reservations required; 205-665-3535, x1031, http://www.americanvillage.org, www.americanvillage.org.

Highway 119, Montevallo. 205-665-3535, www.americanvillage.org Barber Motorsports Park 6040 Barber Motorsports Parkway, Leeds.

205-298-9040, www.barbermotorsports.com Birmingham Botanical Gardens www.bbgardens.org/documents/treasuremapforweb.pdf 2612 Lane Park Road, Birmingham.

205-414-3900, www.bbgardens.org Birmingham Children’s Theatre 1001 19th St. North, Birmingham, AL, 35203, 205-458-8181, www.bct123.org

Heart of Dixie Railroad Museum Ride the Santa Special! Train rides and more! Nov. 30-December 14. Tickets, information, www.hodrrm.org

Photo by Christy Pierce Photography

Alabama Sports Hall of Fame 2150 Richard Arrington Blvd. N., Birmingham. 323-6665, www.ashof.org

Birmingham Civil Rights Institute BCRI is open and free to the public on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Monday, January 20.

16th St. N., Birmingham. 205-328-9696, www.bcri.org Birmingham Museum of Art Black Out: Silhouettes Then and Now. Before the selfie, before the Polaroid and even before the photograph, there was the silhouette, a profile portrait made from cut paper. Through January 12, 2020. FREE. Celestia Morgan: REDLINE. This exhibit features photos and small sculptures by local artist Celestia Morgan that explore redlining in Birmingham. Through February 16, 2020. FREE. Bart’s Art Cart! Free drop-in art program for kids and families features a different

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Ride the North Pole Express! Train rides and more! November 15-December 8. Tickets, information, www.hodrrm.org 1919 Ninth St., Calera. 205-668-3435,

theme from galleries and art activity each month. Saturdays from 11am-1pm.

Bart’s Books. A storytelling program for children ages 4-7.

2000 Rev. Abraham Woods Jr. Blvd., Birmingham. 205-254-2565, www.artsbma.org Birmingham Public Libraries Find a library near you for all kinds of fun events and enrichment! www.bplonline.org Birmingham Zoo Tree Lighting Ceremony. 6pm, December 6.

Zoolight Safari. 5-9pm, Dec. 6-8, 13-23, 26-30. Tons of lights, rides and more! This is a December favorite!! Tickets, pricing, www.birminghamzoo.com.

Breakfast with Santa. December 14, 8am, 9:30am. Reservations required.

Jefferson County Library Cooperative Find a library close to you for all kinds of fun events and enrichment! www.jclc.org McWane Science Center Home School Day! On the first Monday of each month, home school students and their families can come for special programs, live science demonstrations, giveaways and a discounted ticket price.

FREE for home school parents, $7 kids, $6 for accompanying adults.

Member Mondays. Every Monday, McWane Science Center members receive extra perks while visiting! Includes a special gift for kids when checking in, 30 percent discount on gift shop purchases, $1 small popcorn at IMAX concession stand and a free members-only evening event each month. Also, on the second Monday of each month, McWane opens its doors from 5-8pm for its members.

Blue Star Museums Military Discount. Blue Star Museums offers FREE admission to active duty military, including Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marines, National Guard and Reserve members, with up to five family members. To learn more visit bluestarfam.org. Offer does not include IMAX movies or parking.

Ruffner Mountain Nature Center 1214 81st St. S., Birmingham.

205-833-8264, www.ruffnermountain.org Shelby County Public Libraries Find a library near you for all kinds of fun events and enrichment! www.shelbycounty-al.org

IMAX Movies: Apollo 11: First Steps Edition. Timed to the 50th anniversary of NASA’s celebrated Apollo 11 mission. 200 19th St. N., Birmingham. 205-714-8300, www. mcwane.org

Southern Museum of Flight 4343 73rd St. N., Birmingham.

205-833-8226, www.southernmuseumofflight.org

Moss Rock Preserve Preserve Parkway, Hoover. 205-739-7141, www.hooveral.org.

Oak Mountain State Park 200 Terrace Drive, Pelham. 205-6202520, www.alapark.com

Tannehill Ironworks Historical State Park 12632 Confederate Parkway, McCalla.

205-477-5711, www.tannehill.org Vulcan Park 1701 Valley View Drive, Birmingham.

205-933-1409, www.vulcanpark.org

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PARE N T I N G PE O P L E

Love and Limits: For More Than 30 Years, Dr. Vivian Friedman Has Helped Parents

By Lori Chandler Pruitt

What’s the best parenting advice?

“Lots of love and limits.” That’s the short answer – and a very good one, by the way – from Vivian K. Friedman, Ph.D., a child and adolescent psychologist and professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurobiology. She has been an expert source for local, state and national publications throughout her career, including nearly 18 years as a columnist with The Birmingham News and then for 14 years as a columnist with Birmingham Parent magazine.

But while she is remaining at UAB as a practitioner and a parenting resource, she has decided that this issue’s column in Birmingham Parent will be her last regular column. “I’ve been doing this (writing a column) for more than 30 years, and I’m not opposed to doing a column every now and then, but I’m comfortable that I have completed what I set out to do.”

Her career choice came natural to her, as she’s been around young children most of her life.

“I started babysitting for a cousin when I was 10 and he was two. I was his full-time nanny for two summers, although my aunt was around and did the driving,” Friedman says. “I was the oldest of the cousin group and was always around babies and children.”

By age 11, she was the chief babysitter for the 118-apartment building where she lived in New York.

“My clients would negotiate with each other for who got Vivian for that particular Friday or Saturday night,” she recalls. “I would bring my guitar and get the kiddos to bed on time by singing to them.”

Friedman majored in child development at Cornell University, already planning to get a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. She received her master’s degree in clinical psychology at Harvard University and then to Case Western Reserve in Cleveland for her doctorate, where she studied under Drs. Margarite Hertz and Irving Weiner, two of the developers of the Rorschach Inkblots.

After completing an internship at Boston Children’s Hospital and a post-doctoral fellowship at Boston

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University Medical Center, she joined the faculty at Tufts Medical Center’s Children’s Hospital. After four years there, she married and moved to UAB, where she has been for 36 years. She has three adult children and four grandchildren.

She wasn’t even thinking of writing a parenting column, but as a professional resource for many Birmingham News writers and other media, she started suggesting topics for articles. “I started giving them bullet points to cover. Then they came to me and said, “Write it yourself.”

She was asked to commit to one year of writing columns – which ended up being nearly 18 years. After various changes at the newspaper ended her column there, she was asked to begin writing her popular column for Birmingham Parent.

Never one to shy away from any parenting topic or even unpopular opinions about the subject, she has seen many parenting changes from her early career to now.

“The largest change is the return of the majority of mothers to work,” she says. “There is much less parenting by parents and more by day care and schools. In my own childhood, there was no “values training” in the school.

Parents were assumed to do that.

The arrival of technology also has added a new dimension to parenting, she adds. “Cyberbullying didn’t exist. It does now. And treatment of cutting as a symptom of emotional distress was not taught in my graduate school. We just didn’t see it.”

Even with the changes, kids are still kids and parenting still boils down to lots and love and limits.

“Quality time does not replace quantity time,” she says.

“Children need their parents’ presence. This is particularly true when they are going through a traumatic experience such as a hospital admission or surgery. Yet it’s also true for everyday experiences like starting school or even going to a friend’s house for the first time.”

Parenting isn’t an easy job, but investing time in your children will pay off later, she says. “The time you invest when they are young will be paid back later on when they are stable responsible adolescents whom you can trust to do the right thing."

Lori Chandler Pruitt is associate editor of Birmingham Parent.

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For a full schedule of events, visit us online at www.mcwane.org

2002019 19th Street North, Birmingham, AL 35203 56 | birminghamparent | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER

(205) 714 - 8300

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events & attractions

Birmingham Civil Rights Institute

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