THE PARENTING BIZ
Married With Children . . . Can’t We All Just Get Along? A
Even though every marriage brings together two different families, the mixing of families is even greater when the bride and groom have children from previous relationships. The accompanying photo, taken at Ambassador Golf Club, shows Tina and Carl Forget getting married in May 2017. They are a shining example of a local family happy to say “We do”! Together — with Tina’s two children, Lilly and Noah and Carl’s son Lawler — they are one awesome blended family. Photo courtesy of Chalet Studio Photography & Gardens.
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Feature Story By Jim Murphy
step-family offers a new chance at love and family life, but it also brings together different types of people, both adults and children, which can potentially create problems at home. Spouses may not have an equal relationship to all the children and the parenting process might be difficult. Phrases like, “I don’t have to listen to you, you’re not my real father (mother)” may even be thrown out there! According to Statistics Canada, more than one in four Canadians aged 35 to 64 who were in a relationship in 2017, were in their second or subsequent marriage or commonlaw relationship. These individuals had experienced family life in more than one context, with different partners and often children from more than one union. Joe McParland, (yes our monthly Cup of Joe columnist!), is a registered marriage officiant who has performed marriage ceremonies for over 1,500 couples in his 21 year career. He co-owns the company, Creative Marriage Celebrations (refer to: CivilMarriages.ca), with Michael Cardinal. It has been his observation that many second (or third) marriages involving first marriage children can work very effectively as the couple and children form a new blended family. It does require at times patience and understanding as the children adapt to their new reality. A small ceremonial ritual McParland recommends in second marriage celebrations is the Blending of Sand. In it, each child and each parent hold a small vessel of coloured sand; the vessels of sand represent their lives to this moment, individual and unique. As they then combine
