BLAIRE EIGHT by Blaire Magazine

BLAIRE

ASTA

Want to advertise with Blaire? Gain more exposure and reach a bigger audience with our innovative publication.

CLICK HERE

blaire eight

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

@blaire_magazine facebook.com/blairemagazine @blaire_magazine pinterest.com/blairemagazine

www.blairemagazine.com

CO nten ts

6. ASTA 10. Music Reviews 16. PANAMA 18. Tom Morphett 22, 40. Religious Christmas in School 24. Liam Milner 26. Places youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather be

32. 34. 38. 42. 44. 46. 48.

Fashion Film Piracy Film Reviews Bowled by the Breatho Bikies HIV Cheeky Chapters

Places youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather be...

It’s that time of year again where the cold air slowly disappears back to whence it came and our long-lost friend and its golden warmth comes out to play. Desperately need a holiday? We have you covered.

International Hot Spots

Bora Bora

Bora Bora is a sparkling jewel in the South Pacific’s French Polynesia region. A sloping mountainside, aqua-blue lagoons and a vibrant underwater life will appeal to those of us who love involving ourselves in outdoorsy activities. The island possesses some very interesting military history about WWII, so any history-lovers will be spoilt to learn of the major conflict that occurred in such peaceful surrounds. Bora Bora plays host to many lush resorts that range from $200 a night to $800 a night. People not wanting to splurge have the option of several beachside hotels that are home to some of the best views in the country.

Panama Known as the ‘crossroads of the Americas,’ Panama is not only the geographical point where North America meets South America, it is also the joining of the Pacific Ocean and Atlantic Ocean; creating the country’s famed canal. This beautiful holiday retreat is popular for the fishing, snorkelling, lush forests, easy-to-hike Mountains, hot springs and much more. I personally would pounce at the opportunity to wander through Panama’s highest geographical point: Volcán Barú. This town is located in Chiriquí Province and true adventurers will relish the steep climb up the mountainside to be greeted by what I imagine is a wonderful view. If you don’t feel like getting hot and sweaty, then perhaps hanging out in the hot springs is more your style. These popular attractions are only situated 30 minutes out of town.

Scotland

Warm weather, stripping down to your bathers and immersing yourself in seaside culture just not your shtick? Well fear not, for those of you grey-loving bunnies amongst us, I have stumbled across a pretty underestimated holiday destination in the form of Scotland. This quaint country has lovely crisp and cold weather, small castles and museums to explore, the mythical history of the good ol’ Loch Ness Monster and most excitedly, during December and January there are hardly any tourists about, so more space for the adventurous traveller! If you are keen to experience a white Christmas overseas then Scotland has you covered.

Closer to home?

Waterfall Gully, SA Waterfall Gully, South Australia. Only 10 minutes from the city! Imagine that. It is open seven days a week from 6am-7pm.

Starlight’s Lookout, QLD Starlight’s Lookout, Longreach, Queensland. Fancy a bit of a walk to be rewarded with some pretty amazing scenery? Take a stroll along the trail to the lookout that is said to be once used by notorious cattle thief, Harry Redford. 8

Rockingham, WA Located only 45 minutes from Perth is a beautiful seaside town by the name of Rockingham. This Australian gem is popular with nature-lovers and the outdoorsy types, as it offers a lovely array of water sports, safe beaches and environmental parks. For those of you who love nothing more than being apart of wildlife, check out the Shoalwater Islands Marine Park, which is only 500 metres offshore, and is home to one of the greatest displays of sea life and birdlife to be found anywhere in this big olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; world.

Olinda, VIC Olinda is a mysterious and elegant part of the gorgeous Dandenong Ranges and holds a very special place in my heart. Nestled inside the mountains, this small town provides many unique and interesting shops with an eclectic array of crystals, candles, jewellery, clothes, crafts and delicious milkshakes! I may be in love with this little town and I definitely recommend spending a day getting lost in the mountain magic.

For more information on accommodation and flights check out these helpful websites: www.expedia.com.au , www.lonelyplanet.com , www.tahiti-tourisme.com/islands/borabora/bora-bora.asp

> Mia Francisco 9

A S TA

Asta was introduced to the Australian music scene in 2012 through Triple J’s Unearthed High competition. Since then, she’s been showing us why she was selected. Her spacey, astral-pop sound is complementary to her down to earth attitude. We chatted to her about her career so far, Falls Festival, and vagina wedgies.

sta, you will be performing at the Falls Festival this year, it must be exciting to do the circuit, particularly the Marion Bay show. As you are from Tasmania I bet you can’t wait to play your stomping ground?

That obviously would have been a crazy experience, going from being a year 12 student one day to a being a fully-fledged musician the very next. How would you put into words what was going through your head at the time?

Yeah, I’m really looking forward to spending New Years Eve in Tassie. It’s going to be great.

It was pretty chaotic to be honest. When I did win it things were just jumping round left right and centre. My Mum nearly had a breakdown [laughs] she ended up having to deal with most of it. But despite that, it just kind of felt… right. I mean, I think I was actually pretty prepared for it. I just said to myself, well, I’ve got to take this opportunity and see how much I can get out of it. I took my time with it at the start only doing a couple of support slots and stuff and let it build. It’s been an amazing year and it’s been so much fun the whole time, I’ve really loved it.

Have you been to the festival in Marion Bay before? Yes, only a few times, but each time has been amazing, and I’ve always wanted to play Falls. It’s a big thing to tick off my bucket list. I think anyone who’s been to a festival, especially those who are musician’s dream of ending up on the Falls stage. Do you have a highlight memory from any of the festivals you’ve attended? Seeing The Yeah Yeah Yeah’s was so good. That energy, with the sun going down in the background and that big stage. It was unreal. Have you got any recommendations of things to do in Tassie for people doing the pilgrimage to Marion Bay?

Do you feel like you have a little bit of an advantage over some other musicians that may go through a lot of hardship just trying to get their name out? You’re an awesome musician, and you obviously deserve your place here if someone like Triple J is recognising you, but does it make it a little easier when Triple J help out and boost the name straight away? Yeah! I am just so so grateful for this. I do see that other bands and musicians struggle a lot to get anywhere and its like trying to walk through honey to get to their destination, like you say. It really has been amazing for me and I am very thankful to Triple J.

The big one would be MONA, I actually just played there the other night to wrap up the tour. it’s a big museum in Berriedale, and anyone who ever goes to Tassie should check that out. Also, my favourite place is Cygnet, and it’s just a little bit out of Hobart. It’s a cute little town with great food and lots of nice spots. You do totally deserve it, you’ve been kicking so many goals over the last year, do you have a Sounds lovely. Now you got started through standout memory from your experience so far? Triple J’s Unearthed High Competition in 2012. > 11

Lately the highlight has just being doing this tour and getting out there. Actually interacting with fans, like going out after shows and talking to people, it’s just been the best thing. It’s made my whole night, pretty much every night. Hearing people’s reactions has given me so much confidence and motivation to keep at it. If we’re being honest, most of the audience at one of your shows is actually probably going to be older than you are. Is that humbling, or intimidating, or do you feel you have something more to prove being so young and already in the music biz? Yeah, I really like to take my time. Especially with the album. You look at someone like Missy Higgins who won a similar thing to me, who then went off backpacking for a year. I do worry that I’m going to loose all my fans, but if the music is good, they will stick around. The whole Lorde explosion is a good example. If I had have gone and blown up like that I’m not sure I would have been prepared for it. So I do like to take my time. There’s a very heavy 80’s pop influence to your music, is there any artists in particular that really inspire your? The usuals, I guess. Beyonce is a big influence and an amazing woman. Madonna. I love the young Madonna, and late Madonna is great too. She’s another very strong powerful woman, and a true artist. And Annie Lennox too. So I guess I am feeling that 80’s kind of vibe, yeah. I guess I’m just attracted to that clean, fresh, edgy pop-sound and the 80’s had a ton of that. What do you like to do outside of music? I’m very into cooking, I like to get out to markets and but local food. 12

Have you got a signature dish? Well I do a really nice vegetable lasagne. I turned my housemate with it. His favourite was his Mum’s old meaty lasagne, and I’ve won him over. Nice one! It’s pretty hard to win a guy over from his mum’s cooking, massive victory. What’s the best thing about living the muso lifestyle? Well everything is evolving around you in this career, and you genuinely put all of yourself into it, so it’s really rewarding living your own dreams and not being held back by anyone else. I’m working for myself, and that’s really rewarding. Alternatively, what’s the worst thing? I really like to take care of myself and my body, I eat healthy food and try to sleep well, and it’s pretty hard to do sometimes when you’re out on the road and recording and so it kind of all goes out the window. I definitely end up looking and feeling more shitty, but it’s all worth it in the end. I’ve never seen you looking shitty, so I wouldn’t worry. If you could change the world in one way, significant or not, what would it be? I’d get rid of petrol all together. And the farming of animals is the biggest contributor to pollution, worse than all the cars and other businesses out there, so I’d love to be able to start up better farming facilities. Have you got any advice for young musicians like yourself? Really just work on your craft, everything else will snowball after that. Cool. Okay, this is a brutal question, if there was one musical act you could erase from time, who would it be? >

But there’s so many! [both laugh] I just want this Miley Cyrus thing to stop. I just don’t know what to even think about it anymore. I’m just not down with exploiting your body like that. If my career’s failing there’s no way you’ll see me doing vagina wedgies.

So many animals! I would probably be a cat. They’ve just got it really good. I’d like to just sunbake all day.

[laughing] Can I quote you on ‘vagina wedgies’?

I’d love to fly.

Please do.

Last word from Asta?

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Excellent. Okay, a couple of quick ones before we This is really just the beginning for me, so I’m let you go, if you could be an inanimate object really just looking forward to giving my fans some what would you be? decent music. And hopefully there will be a lot to come. Maybe a tree? I’d like that. If you could be an animal what would you be?

> Benny Thompson

>Tom Morphett

illy

C Cinematic

Ah young Illy. He’s such a babe. I question whether it’s his beautiful face that has created such huge success for him. Don’t get me wrong, he is extremely musically talented, but it definitely helps having a face like his. His album Cinematic is the fourth album in five years that this young Aussie MC has produced. Illy has pushed outside his musical boundaries, delivering a record that transcends genres and is loaded with glitch, pop hooks, soul, epic beats, and of course the content of the lyrical genius himself. This boy can rap. The first four songs on the album can’t really be faulted. His songs ‘Young Blood’, and ‘On & On’ are probably the most standout. However, even though he can rap I’m not sure whether his music is now considered to be Hip-Hop. The music is becoming very poppy. I’m undecided about this album. Ill let you decide on this one.

Free Your Mind

Cut copy

I first fell in love with Cut Copy when they produced their most unforgettable song ‘Hearts on Fire’. It’s still one of my top 10 all time songs. If you’re yet to experience the awesomeness of it, then get around it! In about five minutes of their new album Free your Mind, you hear everything new Cut Copy has to offer, although they tend to never move outside the box and explore anything new. I have always been a huge advocate for Cut Copy. Maybe it’s because they were the ‘in’ thing when I started to really enjoy my music. However when their album was produced, I was slightldisappointed and un-aroused. In saying all of this, I will end on a positive note. Their stands out songs are true standouts. They’re definitely worthy of hearing live. Those songs are ‘Walking in the Sky’ and ‘We Are Explorers’. 16

Danny Brown

Old

> Sarah Long

The first I ever heard of the American rapper Danny Brown, was when he scored head off a chick whilst rapping on stage. I was absolutely disgusted to the point that I promised myself that I would never support his music. Here I am now telling you that you have to listen to his work. I’m not the biggest fan of repetitive rap, however this dude has it down pat. He’s actually incred. He’s arguably one of the most unique characters in music today and has delivered one of the years most anticipated releases Old. He mixes the old with the new and breaks more electro and indie boundaries to re-create Hip Hop as an overall Multi-Genre, while keeping his personality in balance with his voice. This is arguably the best Hip Hop Album of the year. Songs to look out for? ‘25 Bucks’ is by far my favourite. And ‘Dip’. ‘Dip’ gets my bits going.

Reflektor

Arcade fire Arcade fire are following up their award-winning third record with their new album, Reflektor. Working with legendary DFA producer James Murphy, the band has almost spent three years travelling the globe and perfecting the record. The result is a huge step up from a band that we all thought had mastered their craft. This album has everything I have come to love about them: intelligent lyrics, sweeping anthems, and awesome rock. However, it is also slightly a different direction for them, which makes it feel fresh and unique. This is the brilliant stuff that we should all experience! I loved every single song on this album and not one is worth skipping. If you’re unlike me, maybe listen to the album a couple more times, so you can really understand and appreciate the quality of these songs. Listen out for ‘Here comes the night’. 17

panama Panama are lately producing some seriously good retro-inspired house. They hail from Sydney, and are getting some intense attention from all over the county. We caught up with vocalist and guitarist Jarrah, for a chat.

f you could describe Panama in three words, what would they be?

Pretty tough one off the bat! Nostalgic, hopeful house. Where do your influences lie musically? All over the place. A cross between classical music from when I was a kid, to pop music and a lot of AM radio stuff and then a lot of early house from the 80’s. What’s the best bit about doing music for a living? It’s not really my living. I mean, it takes up most of my time, but I’m also studying screen music. I’ve been doing it for about six months. I go into it fulltime next year, so it’s a balance between studying and writing music. Fair enough. What’s the hardest bit about devoting so much of yourself to music? I guess the hardest thing is with most uni degrees you have a pretty good chance of coming out with a job, but there’s not really any guarantees in this industry. Sometimes I think that it’s probably not a sensible option, but sometimes you’ve just got to say ‘fuck it’ and do what you’re into. 18

Any advice for budding musos? Yeah, I think one of the biggest things I’ve learned in the later years is that there definitely is no age limit to good music. I’m in my 30’s. Music is always open, if you keep working on your style or your voice or whatever, and keep having fun. If you could change the world in on way, significant or not, what would it be? One thing that annoys me is that the Internet in Australia isn’t through fibre optics. I had to do a lecture through Skype the other day and it was terrible, so that’s definitely something I’d like to see governments pursue. If you could have a super power, what would it be? Probably flight dude, I’ve always dreamed of that. If you could play with any three acts from history, who would they be? I’d have to get someone from each era. The Beatles for sure from the 60’s, 70’s would have to be Led Zeppelin (can’t go past Bonham), and from the 80’s I’d have to pick INXS, they did a swing album which is really cool. >

If you could erase a musical act from time, who would it be? If anything I would like to erase X-Factor as a thing. And anything like it. You’ve had a big year so far, what’s on the horizon for Panama? Yeah this year’s been huge, the EP came out and there’s been a really good response, and we’re doing Field Day in Sydney which is great. We’re also doing another festival in Perth called Sets On The Beach, where they set up the stage right on the beach, it’s glorious. And a whole bunch of other 20

gigs I assume. Then I’ll be gearing up for the next release, whatever it is. I’ve started writing down notes and getting ideas, I have my own little studio at home and I’ve been playing with synths and trying to find the right sounds. All I can say is that it’s a mixture of song and coloured sound.

> Benny Thompson

>Tom Morphett

22>Tom Morphett

Relig

Tradition matters

t’s common knowledge that Christmas has roots in pagan history and borrows traditions from a variety of sources. Undeniably there is no purity in Christmas; it’s relatively acceptable for me to be an Atheist but still indulge in gift giving (aka Feast of Saturnalia) and a bit of Christmas ham (courtesy of Freyr, Norse God of Harvest). It’s also cool if I decorate my Christmas tree (Renaissance period) with things like mistletoe (thanks to Thor’s Mum) and Christmas lights (those Germans). I don’t see anyone jumping up and down about these practises, yet merely mention ‘Christianity’ and ‘Christmas’ in the same sentence and everyone gets their proverbial knickers in knots. Why should a substantial chunk of Western culture be ignored because you fear a couple of songs penned in the Victorian era are in some way indoctrinating our children? The PC Police are toeing the line of religious intolerance on this one. Like it or not, religion is important to society and has contributed far more to the world than any mass secular movement; the conceptual ambition of religious organisations is evidence of that. What secular endeavour can claim to influence ethics, metaphysics, education, fashion, politics, travel, publishing, art and architecture to the extent of organised religion? Whether you believe in supernatural omnipotence or not, there’s no denying that religion has shaped our modern world, so why the hell would we not teach the religious and secular significance of Christmas in school? You can’t omit a major world religion that has been associated with a major Western holiday for thousands of years, just because it doesn’t align 24

Chris

in Sch

with your beliefs. Let the children sing ‘Silent Night’, it’s a hell of a lot more tolerable than Jingle Bells or similar winter themed musical atrocities. In any case, if you’ve brought your children up in accordance with your own moral code and values then it’s unlikely a couple of folksongs will compromise your family’s belief system. Here’s an interesting story. I had a friend in high school who wore a hijab. I hung out with her, I went to her hijab wearing house, ate halal cheese sammiches and associated with her hijab-wearing sisters. Amazingly, this exposure to her religion did not make me in any way remotely Muslim. Astonishing! Christmas means a lot of things to a lot of different people, especially within the spectrum of Christianity. Why shouldn’t this diversity be taught in schools? This shit should be embraced, it’s part of our society and you need to grow the fuck up and learn how to engage with religion like the high functioning adult you are. Surprising as it may seem, it is possible to see the good in religion without subscribing to its spiritual content. I’m secure in my stance on religion, so I can confidently say I give zero fucks about a bit of carol singing in schools. The only reason you’d be offended by the Christianity aspect of Christmas being taught in schools is if your own personal views aren’t strong enough to stand up to a bit of scrutiny. Breeding kids to be intolerant, narrow-minded little shits who get around parroting the views of their short-sighted parents functioning under the guise of ‘politically correctness’ is far more damaging than a bunch of old-timey songs and a papier-mâché nativity scene. > Gemma Davies

gious

stmas

hool T

he debate between public schools teaching a secular Christmas or a religious one gained significant attention when schools in New Jersey were banned from singing religious Christmas carols. The lawsuit was overturned, and the whole issue is now being treated as somewhat overblown, but it does bring up an interesting debate: What kind of Christmas holiday do kids in secular schools most respond to? As someone who was not raised religiously and who attended two public schools with no religious teachings, I have experienced and seen others experience secular Christmases, year after year. The things Most of my peers and I associate with Christmas include a Christmas tree, Santa Claus and his flying red sleigh, presents and songs like “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer”. For us, particularly in our childhood, this is the magic of Christmas. This is what we look forward to weeks before the day and these decorations are how we know the rest of the world is right there with us. It’s clear that asking kids of the same ilk as myself to sing “Silent Night”, to respect the birth of Jesus on Christmas day is by no means wrong, but it is detrimental to the religious practice. The child who tries to stay up late on Christmas Eve so she might hear Santa Claus climbing down the chimney is never going to have that same devotion to Christian theology. For her, that is not what Christmas is all about. Children in both religious and secular schools ought to know the ways in which different cultures and religions in all parts of the world celebrate the holiday season. Knowledge of its origins allows children to respect different beliefs but forcing them to believe in something they have

Time for a change not been raised to is unfair to both them and the school staff who try to teach it. Christmas may have its roots in a mix of different religions including Christian, ancient Greek and Mesopotamian, but the dominant religious origin taught in schools is the Christian one. There is no other explanation for this than Christianity being the dominant religion in the Western world, but this doesn’t seem like a good enough reason. In fact, it almost seems like going along with the crowd. The reaction against singing Christian songs in schools is evident that the focus on a Christian Christmas needs to be reduced, because when it’s not causing kids to stop listening and daydream about Santa and their presents under the tree, it’s resulting in outrage and lawsuits. Teaching that Christmas has a wide range of influences which includes (but is not limited to) Christian ones, but refraining from having them celebrate it as a Christian holiday would ease the tension and inform the children. The holiday season is inevitably going to get people talking about how children will be taught to celebrate it. I believe that if a child is not raised in a religious household, her parents will want to send her to a school without mandatory religious teachings. I do not believe a child’s parents would be against a cosmopolitan attitude toward the origins of Christmas. It’s when one religion gets the spotlight and starts being celebrated as the only truth, that the holiday season starts getting ugly. A secular Christmas doesn’t mean ignoring the roots from which the holiday has come, it means acknowledging them and choosing to still celebrate the holiday without believing in only one version of the story. > Tom Bensley

Liam Milner

My mum would tell you I’ve drawn every day of my life and she’s probably not wrong. I love all art in general, and creativity. If I’m in the right mood art just makes me happy and inspired. Whether it’s a Four Tet song or an Odd Future concert, Heath Ledger acting in Brokeback Mountain, a line in a Jack London book, an instillation by Yoko Ono, or my girlfriend’s sketches, it just really makes my blood bubble and all I want to do is get creative. I like singing, writing songs and raps, and illustrating short stories that I write, but drawing is the only thing in the world that I’m confident I don’t completely suck at. I did a bunch of artworks for my first ever show back in March at Off The Kerb Gallery in Collingwood which was awesome because I love the gallery and all the people there. I’ve got a new project at the moment while I’m overseas called LUNA TUNES. It’s a complete new style and concept that’s just heaps of fun, to put it simply. There’s a lot of thought behind all the works and they mean so much to me, although if someone likes them just because they look cool that’s completely fine with me! Same goes for anyone who wants to get something from them that I didn’t intend. There are no laws to LUNA TUNES. There will be a LUNA TUNES show in Melbourne in 2014 with huge hand-drawn works and printed books. lunatunesart.tumblr.com

liammilnerart.tumblr.com 27

December fashion D

ecember means two things: 1) the official start of summer which is initially exciting until you realise how long it has been since your legs had any sunshine, and 2) Christmas party season which is also exciting until you realise all of the embarrassing things you are going to do in front of your boss. As if that isn’t stressful enough, we are expected to be all things jolly and merry and I’m pretty sure I read something about giving too. Really, the only thing you should be stressing about is about what incredible outfit you are going to wear to make sure you stand out for all the right reasons. Follow this guide to make sure you are talked about the morning after, for what you wore rather than what you did.

SEX SELLS There is no reason to look like you raided your nanna’s closet. Mind you, you don’t want to look like the nights entertainment either. Looking sexy at the work do is all about strategy. Sheer paneling is the way to amp up your sex factor while maintaining your ladylike rep. Not only will you create the illusion of extra coverage by altering lengths and changing shapes, you will also earn some serious fashion cred from the cool crowd. Remember, keep it subtle not slutty.

Saint Laurent

Surf’s up What some people call a wetsuit, others call a dress. I’m of the dress variety and you should be too. Neoprene used in clothing gives volume and shape for days. The digital prints around are super luxe and will make you look utterly mind-blowing. That, and the fact you could go surfing in it are sure to impress your boss! 32

Toni Maticevski

Leopard is forever Leopard print is certainly more in vogue at some times compared to others, and this is definitely one of them. This is perfect timing for that Christmas party standout outfit. This season, the reinvention of leopard print is a little darker and edgier. If this scares you, it just means you need to rethink how you are going to make it work to your advantage. For you classic lovers go for a clutch or chunky platform heel in pony hair. Snow leopard is big for you colourphobes out there. Lastly, if you’re girly girl, go for leopard in a sheer flowy piece that shows off your curves. Add red lippy and gold hardware to complete the look and you’re ready for your photo with Santa.

Finders Keepers

Suit up Every good man knows the way a suit fits is the most important thing. This comes down to spot on tailoring and quality fabrics to create clean lines and simple elegance. Tuxedo styles work best for women in either a classic black or white. Suiting up looks damn fine with or without a shirt, so it’s your choice if you dare to bare. Make sure you maintain the masculine/ feminine balance by choosing a soft fabric that drapes over your body to give some serious shape and only use delicate and understated accessories. You don’t want to go overboard, the power suit is the epitome of sleek sophistication. After all, it’s a man’s world baby! Micah Gianneli in Cylk

> Tory Price

the truth about

film piracy WHO IT’S HURTING AND WHAT IT’S Doing Just a quick word of warning – I’m about to become somewhat of a jerk, or the ‘fun police’ for the duration of this article. Most of you probably won’t like what I have to say and truthfully, most of you probably won’t give two shits about what I have to say either. In fact, half of you who bothered to read past the article’s title, have probably already stopped reading. For those of you who are still with me, thank you. Now, please allow me to talk about something that’s very important to me: film piracy.

run out) or ones that are not available to purchase either here or overseas (aka. films which no one cares about enough to release to home video, even to make a measly buck.) By going by those two guidelines, I’ve stipulated to myself that the only films I could ever bring myself to download are ones which no one stands to lose any kind of loss to, thus, ones which are legal to download. And at that, I’ve never downloaded a film that was made after the 1940s. TV shows however, are different. I’d by lying if I said I’d never downloaded a TV show, How many of you can truthfully say you have nev- but would be truthful in saying I haven’t bothered er illegally obtained or possessed an illegally pito in the last three or so years. I remember listenrated copy of the newest films or television shows? ing to an interview with one of the actors from Let’s be completely honest, practically everyone Lost on Hamish and Andy’s radio shows year ago does it, or has done it at least once in the past. where Hamish admitted to having downloaded the Many of you out there probably download .avi or show. When he retracted his statement, the actor .mp4 files through torrents or file-sharing weblaughed and said ‘that’s okay, it’s legal to download sites, many of you stream them directly off webTV shows, because they go free to air anyway.’ pages, many of you make illegal copies of DVDs Even though that statement is completely, you’ve borrowed from friends and video stores or absolutely false, (hell, even recording shows on likewise, many of you may have bought illegal cop- a VCR or DVD recorder, used to be illegal – go ies of films on DVD from overseas markets. figure) I used it as an excuse for a little while to In all honesty, I’ve never downloaded a film download a handful of my favourite shows, which illegally. The only movies I’ve ever downloaded are were a season ahead on US television than they ones that are currently in the public domain (aka. were on Australian television… if they were even films which are so old that their copyright has on Australian television at all. 34

Another thing I used to do, but haven’t since the advent of Blu-ray four or five years ago, was make copies of DVDs. I remember speaking to someone who worked at a DVD store who told me of a loophole which stated you could copy any DVD you’ve borrowed to keep a copy for yourself, because, rightfully, you’ve paid to borrow it. Again, I have no idea how accurate this loophole is, but it became my excuse to copy the latest release DVDs. But of course, it came with one exception – any DVDs I copied, I would eventually replace with legit copies bought from JB Hi-Fi – which, incase you’re wondering, I have entirely. As I’ve mentioned, in recent years downloading or copying films and TV shows isn’t something I’ve done. And there are varying reasons for it, which, if you allow me, I’ll go over now. And hopefully, you’ll listen, and maybe even take them

million (though some, such as 2007’s Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End and Disney’s 2010 animated film Tangled cost closer to $300 million.) Okay, so, most big films make their money back, regardless of illegal downloading. For example, At World’s End made in excess of three times its budget and Tangled came close to scraping in twice its budget… but lots of them barely even turn in any kind of profit. For a film to make money, it not only has to sell theatre tickets (of which, it doesn’t get the entire ticket price back, as it’s divvied up between production company, distributor and theatre chain) but also has to rely on the sale of home videos (Blu-rays, DVDs, legal video download) and merchandising. For a film to be successful however, it needs to make a decent-sized profit. It’s not just enough for it to make its money back or just scrape in with a small profit, because

...in 2005 alone, the American film industry lost $6.1 billion in piracy. Because of this, an estimated 750,000 people lost their jobs. into account next time you decide to illegally obtain a film or television program. I know, to most of you, this article won’t make a lick of difference… but if I can get through to at least one person (or two people… two would be preferable,) then my job here is done. As an independent filmmaker myself, I see my future lying in the film industry – an industry which is as cutthroat as it is glamorous. Just like every other industry, the film industry strives to make money – without the sale of products, it would go bust! Sure though, the film industry has a lot of money… and I mean… A LOT of money. Most studio films these days would struggle to be made on a budget any less than $1 million dollars, with most smaller films costing the best part of $20 to $60 million dollars and the majority of big-budget blockbuster pictures costing an average of $200

even though it may have made money, on paper, it could have lost money – for example, the recent Lone Ranger cost an estimated $250 million and has so far grossed $260 million, but with divvying and all other complicated Hollywood-crap taken into account, the estimated loss of the film is close to $120 million. Mind you, the loss of The Lone Ranger may, in part, be due to the fact that it was a shit film, and not because of film piracy… but… humor me guys. When you download films or stream films, obviously, you’re not paying the price of a theatre ticket or a DVD – count that as a $20 loss to the makers of the film. Take Avatar for example, a film that is considered the most downloaded film of all time, with something like 21 million downloads. That’s a $420 million dollar loss for the studio. Even >

though Avatar made like a billion dollars back or something ridiculous like that, that $420 million is still a huge loss. In 2006 it was reported by the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) that, in 2005 alone, the American film industry lost $6.1 billion in piracy. 38 percent of this was attributed to those downloading the films and 62 percent was attributed to illegally bought or copied DVDs and the like. Because of this, an estimated 750,000 people lost their jobs. Now, seven years later, the fact that many, many more people download or illegally pirate films, just imagine how much more of a loss the film industry would be making. Think of all those lost jobs. One of them could be mine. With Australia being one of the biggest piracy countries in the world, it’s not only the international market that finds a loss, it’s the national one too. Our theatre chains rely on money from ticket sales, as do the national film distribution and production arms. The Australian film industry is almost dead. How many Aussie films do you remember seeing in the last five or so years? Not a lot… and of those ‘not a lot’ of films, how many looked like they had a decent budget? That’s probably because they didn’t. 2008’s Red Dog only cost a mere $8 million to make, last years (dreadful) Kath & Kimderella was made on $6 million and 2005’s Wolf Creek cost only a measly $1 million. With the Aussie film industry finding itself up shit creek… or should I say, up wolf creek, the number of jobs going for people like myself, who want to be apart of the industry, is very, very slim. Of course, piracy is not the only issue relating to

this, but in the long run, it’s a factor… and a very big one. I’d like to see myself with a job in the film industry in the near future, and when I get one I’d like people not only to see the films I make, but pay to see them, or pay to own them. Simply, the less money a film makes, the less the studio has to make other films – and though in the whole Hollywood scheme of things, it doesn’t really make a huge difference, here, in our own back yard, it makes a big difference! Okay! So, that’s enough harping on about money and being greedy. The other thing I hate about piracy is the quality of the pirated films themselves! Films are an artwork. They are a labor of love from those artists who meticulously craft them over a period of years. Cinematographers create beautiful looking films with lush colours and stunning visuals. Sound mixers create incredible soundscapes that surround you and engage you in a film. When you see a film at the cinemas or on home video, you get the entire experience. You see the film how it was intended. With illegal downloading, you don’t. Take for example, a newly released film that you’ve somehow got your hands on. Unless they’ve been ripped from a studio screener disc, you’re most likely watching a video that was recorded by some dodgy bastard in Asia somewhere who snuck a video camera into his local cinema. The result is a horrid, discolored, sometimes outof-focus image, which is often obstructed by the appearance of audience members getting up at various points during the film to take a pee-break. I don’t know about you, but I watch a film to be immersed and totally engaged from beginning to

iiiiiiiii 36

end. All it takes is Mr. John Smith’s bowel movements to totally break my focus. And that sound! OH THAT SOUND! You know that sound I’m talking about… it’s tinny, echoey, distorted and muffled. Not to mention Ms. Jane Smith sitting in the front row with her cold, sniffing and coughing her way through the film. All in all, it’s a film experience totally ruined – an artwork disfigured and entirely manipulated. You’re not watching the filmmaker’s intended version of the film, you’re watching some bloke with a video camera’s experience at his local cinemaplex, which is probably one minute shorter than the original version due to that moment in the film where the guy has to put a new card in his camera. I’m a purist, a lover of the amazing work that hundreds of people put into one single film, one single experience. And when I experience it, I want to experience it properly… Imagine viewing the Mona Lisa through beer goggles, or listening to Mozart through a pair of cheapo 50c headphones with frayed chords… ugh. So please, people, stop your wicked ways! I know it’s expensive to go to the cinemas, I know it can cost a pretty penny to buy a film, and I know it’s hard to wait around for TV shows, but piracy is something that needs to come to an end. I don’t hate you if you’re a pirate, and I don’t judge you one iota. Most of my friends pirate films, and its not like I’m going to sit and have a D&M with them about the wrongs of piracy. They know my position on it, and they respect that, and that’s all I can ask for. But, please, as much as you can, avoid piracy. If there’s a film you really want to see, make

a night of it at the movies, or if you don’t want to buy it, go rent the DVD for $2 (yes, there are still video stores around – though most of them are machines). If not for the sake of getting a full experience out of a film, or for the fatcats over in Hollywood, do it for yourself… and do it for my future job. Oh, who am I kidding, you don’t care; you’ve probably forgotten half of what I’ve said. Maybe you’ll listen to Ron Burgundy more than you’ll listen to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clruJpdt0g0

> Dave Lee

iiiiiiiiii 37

Thor: The dark world In the second instalment of the second phase of Marvel’s Avengers franchise, Thor faces dark elves and magical macguffins alike as he battles for the fate of Asgard and Earth. If this is an indicator of how the Avengers are going, then bail, bail for your life. The Dark World is wildly inconsistent, poorly directed, and flat out forgettable. Getting a widely loved actor like Christopher Eccleston to play the antagonist seems smart in theory, but he is completely wasted. The dialogue is painfully dull, the romance between Jane Foster and Thor is laughably weak and Portman is wasted in a useless role, her only part in this is to carry a magic plot device (Lady Sif is far more interesting and with a tenth of the screentime) and the best part of the movie is the delightfully charming and mischievous Tom Hiddleston as Loki, once again stealing the show. Action scenes are dull, the humour juxtaposes so jarringly that it just clashes with the dramatic tones. An Avengers film with no personality, no spark and few thrills, the film has its moments but they’re buried in tedium and poor direction.

You’re next Adam Wingard’s self-styled old-school low-budget filmmaking skills shine in You’re Next, a fiendish horror movie that’s light on the scares yet pure fun. Sharni Vinson is the standout actress, leading the charge as a girlfriend of a family who find themselves under attack by men armed with animal masks and crossbows. Wingard has dabbled in horror before (VHS and VHS2 being two dud shorts of his) but he manages to get it right here, mostly. The gore is incredibly pronounced here and it’s a little sad to see the focus shift from horror to outright violence, but when the film works, it does. The whole film retains a devilishly clever and humourous tone, the miniscule budget is used to great effect and the film throws in a few clever plot devices to keep you hooked. Definitely give this a watch.

> Kevin He

cloud atlas Widely missed by audiences alike during its initial run in cinemas, Cloud Atlas is an intriguing film of mixed results and wonderful design. Utilizing the same group of core actors to play multiple roles over the course of six different generations spanning thousands of years is a huge achievement, and the film adaptation of Cloud Atlas nearly gets it right. The very fact that the book was deemed ‘unfilmable’ and the fact that Twyker and the Wachoswki brothers made even a functional film is impressive. A film with infallible depth, epic scope and pure wonder, Cloud Atlas is one of the most ambitious films ever made, backed by the best orchestral score I’ve heard this year. One viewing isn’t enough, and I daresay one viewing would be disastrous. Hard to sit through (clocking in at 3 hours) but eye-catching and provoking. Cloud Atlas is an impossible film to recommend, yet I somehow find myself doing so.

white house down Olympus Has Fallen part 2, except this time there’s a black president so it’s a little more accurate to real life. Channing Tatum stars as the machismo hero who saves the president and thus America. I’m going to list the reasons why WHD gets the pick over Olympus: 1) The president actually teams up with Tatum. I was sorely disappointed to see Aaron Eckhart in OHF just sit around being tortured. I’m glad WHD went the more active route. 2) The entire movie is set in daylight. OHF was so shrouded in darkness that I could not tell a single thing that was going on. At least here it’s more discernible. 3) Say what you want about Emmerich; his plots may be nonsensical, his dialogue pathetic and Godzilla still unforgiveable, but he can direct action well. No shaky cam bullshit, no obscuring of scenes, they’re simple shots, but effective. And that is why White House Down takes the cake for ‘best White House taken over by terrorists’ movie this year.

>Tom Morphett 41

Bowled by the breatho Cricket Australia criticised for censoring an anti-alcohol advertisement

et’s take a moment to talk about me. Like a lot of writers in their formative years, I still live with my parents. They pay the bills, they provide the roof over my head, and I just have to help with the day-to-day operations. My parents are great and I’m grateful for everything they do for me. Yet one day I’m approached by a company who are going to offer me a portion of the money which my parents spend to keep me alive, in order for me to support an ‘Anti-Parent Campaign’. Do I betray the people who have always been there for this latest craze? No, I wasn’t really approached, but this is what Cricket Australia has been asked to do at the recent Ryobi Cup. An anti-alcohol ad has been knocked back due to a severe conflict of interest. Before we begin, this article is in no way supporting the Facebook videos glorifying young Australians sculling beers and causing a nuisance at our international sporting events. But it will support the fact that the vast ‘silent’ majority enjoy a sensible alcoholic beverage during our Aussie summer. Cricket is a national sport, and dominates the Australian sporting scene from November through to January. Survey the 100,000 people who are bound to show up on day one of the MCG Ashes test match, and see how many of these people believe in a zero alcohol policy. You would be hard pressed finding a handful. Without fans, you don’t have a competition, but without major sponsors the concept doesn’t get off the ground. Cricket Australia currently have a five-year deal with Carlton & United Breweries 42

worth 65 million dollars. That is a big reason to opt for promoting a responsible drinking approach, rather than wiping the pastime out altogether. Are we re-entering the days of prohibition? Is the thought of indulging in an evening drink frowned upon nowadays? For a country which already struggles with its own culture, we are quickly trying to erase what few pastimes we have established. The biggest problem with this debate, is that the do-gooders have a seemingly unlimited number of stats and facts condemning the effects that alcohol has on the human body. Can they be argued? Probably not, but any campaign run by fear is clutching at straws. It’s just like smoking, people know it may kill them, but they still do it. Loyalty may not be as big in the business world anymore but there are certain associations which I don’t think will ever die out. One of them being that alcohol companies will sponsor any event, sport or otherwise, which sells their product. It makes sense, they’re already being promoted with every bottle and label in the fridge or tap they are coming from. What’s another billboard really? It doesn’t remind me that my glass is empty. In a twist to this one-sided affair, the West Australian cricket team have allowed a sponsor to rename them the ‘Alcohol. Think Again Western Warriors’ for the season. Teams are in control of where their sponsorship deals come from and as an alcohol enthusiast, I’m not jumping up and down claiming it to be an outrage. At most, a few

eyebrows have been raised, and the irony pointed out. I’m yet to see anyone come out in public and demand the ad be removed. In a separate test of faith, a slight controversy has surrounded Victorian Bushrangers import, Fawad Ahmed. Ahmed comes from Pakistan and has recently relocated in Australia in the hopes of being the leg spin option we have missed since the great Shane Warne called stumps on his career. With his citizenship and career both being fast tracked, Ahmed found himself in the Australia A-Team last month in an effort to prepare him for this summer’s Ashes. The Australian team is sponsored by Victoria Bitter and sport the emblem on their uniform. Ahmed is a practicing Muslim and doesn’t partake in alcohol consumption at all. Out of consideration, the question was asked whether he would prefer the emblem on or off his uniform, with the answer being the latter. As quick as a flash, a plain uniform was ordered and delivered, no worries. This seems to have given a little bit of momentum to the campaigners of the antialcohol movement. What has really happened is that Cricket Australia showed a humane side and acted very decently. It’s not a sign of weakness or a waiver in their stance, it’s an act which should be applauded. Common sense just claimed a very rare

victory. So why can’t common sense raise its shy little head in this instance? Why do I need an organisation to tell me I should not drink or celebrate my team’s victory as I see fit. In our already over-sanitised society, I know that alcohol will eventually do harm to my body. However every person who arrived to the game on a motorcycle has a much higher chance of being injured on the road than me, so where’s the anti-motorcycle billboard? Or the antiliving-in-a-dangerous-suburb brigade? It might sound ridiculous, but if we pass this motion, it’s the logical next step that will be taken (I’m using the word logical very loosely). Like a lot of things in this world, the issue has been turned into a monster which it is not. All anyone wants is for the youngsters who attend these games to know that if you choose to drink in life, unless done responsibly, it can lead to dire consequences. And if parents are taking their job seriously, children know this long before any campaign can scare them off the stuff. An ad campaign won’t change the world.Yes, money has decided a winner in this scenario. But for a change, the rich ones are also in the right this time. As for the campaigners who came second? Maybe they just need a quiet drink. > Mitchell Pascoe 43

A Beginner’s Guide to

Bikies i n a u s tr a l i a

013 has certainly been a big year for bikies. Each week it seems that there is another news article about the latest shoot-out between warring motorcycle gangs, scattered up and down the east coast of Australia. The biggest news though was the announcement of the Vicious Lawless Association Disestablishment Act 2013 and the Criminal Law (Criminal Organisations Amendment) 2013 in Queensland. For those of you who made not of heard about it or aren’t legally inclined the new laws give Queensland police much great power over the outlaw motorcycle gangs that had been eluding them up until then. The new rules include straightforward reforms (such as introducing mandatory jail time for gang members who are found guilty of 44

gang activity) to others that are a bit more complicated such as the following: - Three or more members of a gang cannot be together in a public place - Gang members cannot be in banned gang areas (clubhouses or events). - Gang members cannot attempt to recruit some one new to their gang. When I researched more into the acts, some aspects of these laws seemed perplexing. The new Tattoo Parlours Act 2013 prevents anyone associated with a criminal organization from owning, operating or working in a tattoo parlour in the state of Queensland. Perhaps the most bizarre news is that Queensland’s Police Minister, Jack Dempsey, reportly ordered that the

Queensland Corrective Service investigate a new dress code for bikie gang members in jail – changing their prison overall from khaki to bright pink. Ridiculed as soon as it was announced, the goal of the palette swap was to help identify bikies to their fellow inmates but also to humiliate and feminize them. The idea coped flack though because of it’s controversial similarity to in World War II where the Nazis made homosexuality punishable under law, and homosexuals in prisons and concentration camps were forced to wear uniforms with pink triangles on them. This long list of new regulations is one of the biggest attempts by a government in Australia to cut down the long list of crimes that motorcycle gangs have committed which includes but is not limited to: drug dealing, arson, firearms offences, extortion, assault, and in some cases even murder. Although the new laws mean that a group of bikers could be arresting for just standing together, motorcycle gangs continue to exist and thrive. There are several different reasons why people join motorcycle gangs. The first and most obvious reason is because you simply love motorbikes. For many, being part of a club is a positive experience. People who share their passion surround them and they are able to make new friends, something that has become hard for men to do later in life. For others it provides their life with a new structure and routine. The mateship that is gained between club members is also invaluable – your fellow members become your family and provide you with emotional (and sometimes financial) support.However, some people that join bikie gangs don’t for it with innocent intentions. Many join clubs for money as several of the larger clubs make a great deal illegally selling drugs and guns and some clubs even have a hand in prostitution. Criminals are naturally drawn to outlaw motorcycle gangs because of these ‘under the table’ activities, as the gang will often provide them with the resources and the protection that they may need. One of the biggest reasons that men join clubs is for the

reputation. Wearing their club colours gives them a higher social status within their own community. It may also be used to intimidate non-members due to the criminal stigma that is associated with most motorcycle clubs. Some clubs are genuine motorcycle enthusiasts and whilst others are simply covers for criminal activity, for some it is a combination of both. The hardcore outlaw gangs refer to themselves as the ‘one percent-ers’. Referring to the 1% of motorcyclist that are criminals with bad intentions. These clubs are usually divided into riding and non-riding members. Riding members are the ones that actually own a bike, non-riding members are those who are there for the criminal element and are sometimes referred to as ‘Nike Bikies’ because they’re seen wearing casual shoes rather that leather boots which would be required to ride. Joining a motorcycle gang varies from club to club. Most clubs require you to already be friends with a member and then after attending club events over time you can be unanimously voted in and be allowed to wear and display the club colour and patch. Other clubs have stricter guidelines. The Hells Angels for example require a member to own a motorcycle over 750cc and it is said that they will not accept child sex offenders or current/former police officers or prison guards. Once they’re initially accepted as an ‘associate member’, a prospective bikie will have to go through several more prospect stages until they are voted in as a full member – a process which takes several years. Joining a club isn’t something you should take lightly though as most clubs see it as a lifelong commitment to them and their cause. The new laws in Queensland may have stopped criminal gang activity for now, but many predict that it will only push gang members south into New South Wales and Victoria. The outlaw motorcycle gangs will continue to battle with police and with each other. The important thing to remember is that being a bikie is serious business, to them and to the police, so it might be best to stay out of their way. > Spencer Hadlow

HIV The cold hard facts: • • • • •

1,253 new cases of HIV were diagnosed in 2012 in Australia There has been a 10 percent increase in cases since 2011 HIV targets immune cells, weakening them and causing Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, commonly known as AIDS Antiviral medicines allow many suffering with HIV to have a normal life span More than 24 million people worldwide have HIV.

so why aren’t we worried?

ccording to recent reports we need to a) wake up or b) be scared or c) act. It has been 20 years since HIV has risen by such a percentage, but somehow during the period of 2011-2012 Australians managed to increase the number of people affected by HIV by over 10%. The Kirby Institute demands that we be alarmed by, ‘what is happening with HIV at the moment.’ If this increase of HIV is true, then why are we sitting back on our haunches and doing naught? Aren’t the 1,253 cases of newly diagnosed people (the largest number in 20 years) surely enough to get us to act? Professor Wilson of the Kirby Institute argues that there needs to be more active prevention in order to, ‘mitigate these rates.’ In fact Robert Mitchell, the President of the National Association of People Living with HIV Australia, agrees with this and states that despite the National HIV Strategy there are essential elements which must be included to get the HIV rates to be decreased such as, ‘making testing options and access more available, and promoting testing and treatments.’ So who is then to blame for this rise in HIV? Is it the government? Has their HIV strategy not worked? Bill Whittaker from National Association of People with HIV says that governments are doing good work to address HIV and not leave it in a dark corner, he concurs that it is society’s response to the issue however, that has in recent years lagged behind. Although he does admit that the ‘Commonwealth Government has been slow to respond to recent scientific advances in HIV and to get on board with the States and Territories in trying to reverse these trends.’ Such State and Territory Health Ministers have introduced targets for reducing HIV by 50% by

2015, and increasing treatment uptake by 90%. However, as we can see, these targets have yet to be reached. Given that we now have awareness and knowledge of HIV, a level of complacency has struck, as HIV is perceived to be not nearly as dangerous as it once was. This is due to the anti-retroviral treatments that are easily accessible and according to some; society does not view HIV as the death sentence it once was because of these medicines. Given that we can now come to the conclusion that it is both the government and society that needs to help prevent HIV from increasing, we now must ascertain the reasons for this 10% increase. Firstly it has risen from the lack of safe sex. That’s right, everybody needs to practice safe sex. Additionally Joanne Fricker from the AIDS Action Council says that this rise of HIV in the last year is due to the fact that awareness of the disease has dwindled over the past 20 years because people are not being open and talking about practicing safe sex. It is also argued that HIV has increased given that the new generation weren’t exposed to the health campaigns of the 80’s and 90’s. The youth of today have not lived through the initial devastation of HIV/AIDS compounded with the lack of public health messages about safe sex practices. We all want to decrease the number of people diagnosed with HIV every year, so the message here is simple; please use protection. For more information please visit endinghiv.org. If you think you have an STI please visit a medical practitioner, if you don’t think you have one please get tested anyway. > Isabella Van Schaik 47

Cheeky

Christ

I think it’s time for the boys to kiss and Josh, 21, Melbourne It was Christmas Eve and we had been texting for a solid week. She was real cute and loads of fun. We both decided to bail on our family dinners to hook up. It was really sneaky. I had just bought some new wheels and wanted to show them off. I picked her up and we cruised to the local 24-hour carwash, so I could give it it’s first clean. We went through the automatic five-minute wash. It was real quiet around at the time, but the excitement of no one being able to see through the car wash bubbles, got us extremely horny. She laid her seat back and pulled me onto her. I was above her, looking down, whilst frantically taking my shoes and pants off. We knew we had no time to spare. I kissed up her neck, whilst sliding my hand up the inside of her warm thigh. Her white dress fell right up, as my fingers entered inside of her. She moaned with pleasure. I pushed her knickers across to the side and moved up inside of her. She was wet. Her back arched and her eyes rolled into her head. I thrust deep inside of her, as she pulled me closer. It was getting harder and faster. The car was fogging up and just as we came to climax, the bubbles began to fall off the car. I was naked with my butt in the air. I quickly got off her, pulled my pants back up, and turned the car back on. 48

‘Merry Christmas!’ She said, with a cheeky grin.

Adam, 28, Sydney She was my girlfriend of the time and we were both fairly new to sex, so we were really experimental. This one night she told me that she had an early Christmas present for me and that I needed to wait in my bedroom, with my eyes closed on my bed. I was sure what to expect, so I was pretty excited. I laid there for a good five minutes whilst I heard her doing stuff around the bedroom. She then went into the bathroom and a minute later came out and told me to open my eyes. I opened them and she had dressed up as a ‘slutty Santa’ with a mini red skirt on and a tiny little bra. She looked hot. The room was dark with lit candles everywhere. She then told me that I had been a naughty little boy and that I was going to be punished. She told me to lay on my back, on the bed. As she went to straddle me, her skirt knocked one of the candles and the fluffy bits caught fire. She didn’t notice that it was burning until she was on top of me trying to seduce me. I pushed her off, ran out, grabbed water and threw it onto her. Slutty Santa was no longer slutty. She was wet and embarrassed. We rolled on the ground with laughter for a good 10 minutes. It was so funny.

tmas Chapters tell. After all, Christmas is a time of sharing… Steve, 26, Melbourne When I was younger, I used to work at a Roller Skating rink the week leading up to Christmas. Naturally, it would attract a lot of the hot babes, who were dateless, so they’d come in groups. I was the young; cool DJ who would sit up in the box mixing music for all of them, as they’d skate around. One year, the boss went home early, so I told all the babes to come join me in a room behind the DJ box for drinks. My work mates came and joined us, as the girls eventually all piled in and we had tunes pumping a drinks flowing and there was one chick that I had my eye on. She was real cute. We all progressively got pretty smashed. The girl who caught my eye earlier pounced on me and had me pinned up against the wall. We were making out. It was seriously hot. I was so into her, especially with her little Santa hat on. She was tanned and had bright blue eyes. She was gorgeous! The night didn’t stop there. I took her up to the DJ box and closed the door behind me. We stripped each other down and got fully naked. We then gave each other the best, orgasmic Christmas presents. Fuck that was a good Christmas!

Jarrod, 24, Brisbane I was out partying with some mates on Christmas Eve at a local bar and there was a cute blonde bird in a Santa hat serving me drinks all night. She was wearing heels and a tight black number that

showed off her tight arse. She was hot as. We got chatting and I soon worked out that she was from Sweden on a working holiday. She hadn’t yet seen much of Australia, so I offered to show her around and take her for a day trip along the coast. She said thank you and on Boxing Day I had the hottie next to me, cruising down the coastline showing off what Australia had to offer! She had very broken English, but it was kind of cute trying to explain things to each other, like we were playing a game of charades. She told me she had never tried surfing, so we rented boards and I spent the day on the beach. While she was running into the water, I was standing behind her watching her long blonde hair fall down her tanned back and butt. She had the tightest body. She looked back at me and yelled out ‘are you coming to join me?’ I had to fight back the thard on that I was getting in my pants. I chased her into the water. We were walking up the beach to return our boards to the beach hut that we hired them from. When we returned, there was no one inside. She and I started mucking around and flicking sand at each other, when she jumped on me and tackled me to the ground. Her half naked, wet body was pressed up against mine. Once again, I was hard. Momentarily, we completely forgot that we were in a public place, on the ground, getting hot and heated. She moved her hand down south and began to undo my boardies. I looked and her with shock and she just said ‘Shush’ then giggled. It was the best Christmas holiday ever. > Sarah Long

blaire eight

EDITORIAL Emily Eaton Editor Sarah Long Creative Director Dave Lee Assistant Editor Jordan Ellis Marketing CONTRIBUTORS Dave Lee Entertainment Spencer Hadlow Life Gemma Davies Life Tom Bensley Entertainment Perrie Kapernaros Life Benny Thompson Music Tory Price Fashion Isobella Van Schaik Life Kevin He Entertainment Mitchell Pascoe Sport Mia Francisco Life Photography Tom Morphett

Blaire Magazine is an Australian-based interactive publication dedicated to sociopolitical urban culture. Launched in 2012 as a blog project, Blaireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s initial success raised big interview and press opportunities, allowing for a relaunch in May 2013.

www.blairemagazine.com enquiries@blairemagazine.com ABN: 62359130068 50