BLAIRE FIVE by Blaire Magazine

BLAIRE

Want to advertise with Blaire? Gain more exposure and reach a bigger audience with our innovative publication.

CLICK HERE

five

blaire. JOIN THE CONVERSATION

@blaire_magazine facebook.com/blairemagazine @blaire_magazine pinterest.com/blairemagazine

www.blairemagazine.com

CO NTEN TS 8

Asylum Seekers CUB SPORT

34 Love Vs Science

Zooey Deschanel

Superheroes Amongst Men

12 24

VANC

Band To

38 Fashio 52 Film Rev 58 BIGFO

CE JOY

ogether

26 IAN TYLEY PHOTOGRAPHY

views

Music reviews

42 Keeping up the Appearances of a Movie Star 54 The Ethics of Circumcisions

OOT 5

Shit happens when you party naked.

y now, the snappy slogans surrounding Kevin Rudd’s Asylum Seeker policy has forced the issue to the forefront of the Australian consciousness. The ‘Saving Lives’ rhetoric has hit its mark and with gathering conviction we are satisfied by Labor’s hard line approach to ‘Smash the People Smuggler Business Model’. Now people are free to apply for asylum from the comfort of their miserable landlocked displacement. Let’s pat ourselves on the back, Australia. We’re helping people!

Not to be outdone, opposition leader Tony Abbott hatched a boat-people strategy of his own; the imperious Operation Sovereign Boarders. In contrast to Rudd’s chaotic model where responsibility of Australia’s boarder protection falls on multiple government agencies, the Liberals will streamline the decision making process by

assigning responsibility for Australia’s boarder protection to multiple government agencies. Wait, where’s the difference you ask? Under Captain Catholic it’s now called a Joint Agency Taskforce. OMG! So streamlined!    Rudd thinks sending people to Papua New Guinea should deter the boats, Abbott thinks we’re in a state of national emergency and require immediate military intervention. With ALP we will turn the boats away, under the Coalition we will physically tow the boats away. Who occupies these boats? Labor would have us believe the bulk of the passengers are queue jumpers, as demonstrated by Foreign Affairs Minister Bob Carr’s claim that recent spikes in boat arrivals are ‘overwhelmingly middle class Irianians’.    Come on now, Bob. Stop making shit up.   In the March 2013 quarter, 90.5% of processed claims were found to be genuine refugees.  Go

back and re-read that sentence. 90.5%. By my calculations that doesn’t leave a great deal of elbow space for those middle class Iranians.  Just so we’re clear, anyone granted refugee status must meet the UN definition a refugee, which excludes economic migrants. There is no grey area on this issue. What say you, Bob Carr? Those numbers speak for themselves, however I know some of you are stubborn and would rather be right than reasonable, so I shall continue.    Both the ALP and Liberals have argued that by eliminating the boats they are freeing up protection visas for people who can’t afford a people smuggler. Here’s a fun fact; even at peak times, such as 2009-2010, unauthorised boat arrivals made up less than half of all onshore asylum seekers. That means 53% of onshore asylum applicants arrived here by air, with passports and legitimately obtained plane tickets. They didn’t jump on a boat, but they certainly jumped ahead of those wretched offshore souls awaiting asylum who suddenly our government so desperately wants to help. This is where we start down the slippery slope of breaches, according to International Human Rights Standards.  By international law, it is a breach to discriminate against Asylum Seekers based on their mode of arrival. You cannot treat a group of people who arrive by boat differently to a group of people who arrive by plane.

education for up to 10 years while you wait obediently for your Asylum claim to be processed? Actually, don’t answer that. It’s too fucking easy to make a judgement from the sidelines. It’s not your children living in squalor so it’s impossible for you to understand the gravity of the situation.   Rudd’s solution is equally deplorable. The decision to send Asylum Seekers to PNG is under fire by the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), who have expressed concerns regarding PNG’s handling of non-Melanesian refugees for the past 30 years. In a recent assessment of PNG the UNHCR found a serious absence of adequate protection standards for the people we’re sending. How does this affect us? Australia is responsible for any human rights violations under our Regional Resettlement Agreement with PNG and the odds of a breachfree experience are not in our favour.    Still not convinced?

Arbitrary periods of detention are also a breach of Asylum seeker rights, as stipulated by four international human rights treaties, all of which we have signed. What does this mean? We cannot lock someone up for an undisclosed amount of time. Period.    Of course there are those in the community who view these consequences for ‘illegal boat people’ as justifiable. They are queue jumpers and they get what they deserve. If you share this view The breaches don’t stop there. Legally we then allow me to make myself very clear. It is a cannot send an asylum seeker to a place where basic human right for people to seek asylum in their freedoms will be threatened on account of Australia. International law exists to protect their race, sexuality, religion, nationality or Asylum Seekers from the ignorance of muppets political views. In the business this is known as our like yourself, because the rest of us have the non-refoulment obligation.  Can you see where capacity to discern right from wrong on our own. this is going yet? Abbott wants to tow boats to Congratulations my friend, you are a member of Indonesia, where Asylum seekers have zero the lowest common denominator.    protection from the Refugee Convention. If caught in Indonesian waters, these Asylum Seekers will So if shipping them away is unethical, how are be arrested. To put it into context, how would your Kevin Rudd or Tony Abbott to run a country while family survive hiding in a developing country these pesky boats keep arriving? It seems > without access to housing, employment, health or

obvious, but working with source countries to provide access to services like health, education and other basic human rights while Asylum Seekers wait for their claims to be processed means they don’t need to risk their lives escaping the desperate state of limbo they currently face. Improving access to UNHCR at the source would mean they are at least in the system and not in a queue.   The one redeeming feature of Rudd’s policy is the conditional increase of Australia’s humanitarian intake to 27,000, a figure recommended by last year’s expert panel on Asylum Seekers, known as the Houston Report. This number includes an increase in offshore applicants, providing more opportunities for resettlement to those Asylum Seekers who can’t catch a boat or a plane. Given the amount of pressure on HNHCR and its resources, one hopes this increase is accompanied by additional financial assistance to facilitate the processing requirements, but with the amount of aid money now directed toward PNG for making our boat problem go away, the prospect seems unlikely.  In contrast, a Coalition government plans to decrease our efforts to a measly 13,750 protection visas. Abbott will ignore the advice of Air Chief Marshal Angus Houston, the 3-star commanding officer in charge of the Houston Report, by engaging a different 3-star commanding officer to do the exact opposite of the report’s recommendation. Nice one, Abbott.

Our leaders claim to be acting in the interest of saving lives, but their actions defy international concerns for the safety of the very people they claim to protect. Neither PNG or Indonesia are acceptable solutions, ethically or legally. Rudd and Abbott are putting Australia at risk of breaching our obligations. Our history is littered with examples of our poor treatment of Asylum Seekers, but I think a letter written from a survivor to the captain of the infamous Norwegian Freighter Tampa probably sums it up best:   ‘There was one man from Nauru who sent me a letter that I should have let him die in the Indian Ocean, instead of picking him up. Because, the conditions on Nauru were terrible. And that is a terrible thing to tell people, that you should have just let them drown.’   Heavy shit, don’t you think? Choosing death over the system supposedly designed to protect you?   The bottom line? It is not against the law to seek asylum. The problem isn’t the Asylum Seekers. The problem is us.

> Gemma Davies

11 > Tom Morphett

Vance Joy

Melbournian singer/songwriter Vance Joy came rushing into view in 2013 with his first single ‘Riptide’, gaining fans instantly and winning over critics with his folky, heartfelt style. Benny Thompson was lucky enough to chat to Vance during his Riptide Tour.

ey Vance, we’re stoked to chat to you here at Blaire, as you must be super busy. What’s happening with you at the moment? Yeah I’m keeping busy, I’m just doing Bernard Fanning support, bit of a solo support thing that’s wrapping up tomorrow, then I have a bunch of my own shows coming up; Sydney, Melbourne, Brissy and then I’m off to Canada and America to play some shows over there. I’ve checked out some of the venues you’re playing man, there are some really cool places. Sounds like it’s going to be a cool semi-intimate tour? Yeah man, definitely. I’m playing at the Corner in Melbourne and this place I’m playing in Perth is really cool. It’s called the Fly By Nights and it’s this beautiful, sort of, well, it looks like an airplane hanger and sort of a basketball court. It’s funny, I was talking to Tom from Big Scary, who’s the main support on the Bernard Fanning tour, that [the venue] is kinda like all the best things put into one room, and it really is. Yeah it’s cool man. So when ‘Riptide’ came out, it was getting a lot of love on Triple J and it floated around the internet, but you yourself weren’t splashed across the web like most artist are these days, there was almost a bit of enigma about you. Was that sort of intentional or did it just happen? I think early on it was kind of in my hands, like the whole way I was presented early on because I was in the process of getting a manager and creating a team around me, so at that point it was just me. And, yeah, I put [Riptide] up on Facebook to

show my mates and Soundcloud by myself, and it sort of stayed like that for a little while. I had a few songs under my belt but it was like I sort of had to catch up to the song writing. I was having a chat to my friend’s older brother, who’s a music manager, and he was like, ‘yeah, just keep doing what you’re doing’, which was good. A goal of mine was to assemble a band and we spoke about that. So I had a little time to do all that, and by the time my face was out there I guess I was ready, and ready to play shows. Sounds like a dream start, really, man. Yeah it was nice, I mean I’m really busy now, so I’m sort of glad I didn’t get thrown in the deep end without any kind of mental preparation, you know? I mean, it’s all about how people receive your music. It’s made the whole thing really enjoyable, it gave me the time to get confident about my performance and my music. Speaking of people’s reception to your music, ‘Riptide’ has actually gone gold if I’m not mistaken? Yeah, it has. That’s some pretty good reception dude! (Laughs) I know, far out, it’s crazy. It happened so quickly man! Is it intimidating starting on such a massive high? Like, do you sort of feel like you’ve set the bar really high for yourself? Or, is it more like, ‘cool, here I am and I’m ready to kick some arse’? > 13

I don’t know. It is a bit like that. I mean, obviously if you have a good start and the bar is raised a bit it is probably more intense, but it is good to have a strong start and a bit of success early. It kind of just lets me make music and to be performing in front of people, so, I guess it’s all positive, and I guess, all I want to do is write good songs. So if I can do that, then I’m a happy man. Sick dude, I like your style. While we’re on style, are you bringing the ukulele back? You don’t hear it in most semi-serious, alt-pop. (Laughs) I really don’t know, I like playing it. It’s funny, like, you play it, and it’s kind of an iconic thing. I mean it’s an important part of the sound of ‘Riptide’, and sometimes it can become your image. And I do love the ukulele. You play the guitar as well, yeah? Yeah, I play guitar as well. So, I think, between the two of them, I have enough to show my sound and write some good songs. Who knows, maybe I should pull out a few different instruments. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. You are mysterious Vance! So you’ve spent a bit of time jumping around and touring the globe? Yeah I did. I went to America for a couple of months in July, supporting a singer over there called Lissie and had a few of my own band’s shows. That was unreal. That was a really nice moment, doing those shows, because... yeah it just felt rad. Do you have a highlight show from that period? Yeah man, in Melbourne I played with my band at the Northcote Social Club for a couple of nights in a row. That was wicked! We could just, sort of, leave our shit piled on the stage [and] just come back the next night. It was cool to, sort of, be a 14

resident for a few days in a row. When I was in New York, I played at this place called Rockwood Music Hall. [It was] this kind of, small, cool venue in the East Village Area and I wasn’t expecting many people at all. But, in the end, like, a hundred people came down and it was great. A few friends of mine happened to be travelling around the states and they came down for that one. It was super cool to see some friendly faces. Yeah, playing for some mates and a bunch of random people from New York… that was one of my favourite shows of my life actually. Cool man. When I go overseas I’m all about the food. I love finding a little hidey-hole somewhere with amazing local food and coming back and telling my buddies all about it. Is there a secret little location somewhere on the globe that you can reveal has some wicked grub? I do like that same thing man, let me think. Oh, in Adelaide there’s this amazing place called ‘Press’, they have this fully amazing restaurant and amazing food and stuff, and then you go across the road and there’s the market. It’s, like, the most amazing gourmet market ever. And I went to The Meatball Bar in Brooklyn, that was cool. Yeah dude, it’s like you were saying, you got to find the hidey-hole, I’m the same. You always know it’s going to be in some hard-to-find place, so you got to be committed. On the same note, is there a place somewhere that’s awesome to have a really huge night and really party? Yeah, for sure! New York is totally amazing. You can’t beat it, you know? Like Brooklyn, and really, the whole place is so filled with people that you just go for a walk and you find something. You just go sit in a park in the beautiful sunny weather in summer, everyone either sitting out on the grass or birds on a wire all crammed up on benches, like, literally no space anywhere. And I love all the

dive bars of Brooklyn and stuff. Everyone just goes out and gets drunk, they give you these massive polystyrene cups, you fully expect to run into Matt Damon or something. What’s the movie with him and Ben Affleck? Good Will Hunting. Yeah! It’s exactly like that! It’s a cool scene, all the young people go out. So, Vance, if you were a flavour of ice cream what would you be? Rum and Raisin.

Human me as an ice cream flavour, right? Fuck, I don’t know. (Laughs), Rum and raisin is my favourite flavour, that’s why. Fair enough. If you could organise your dream show with three support artists from any time, no matter how great, who would they be? Need to start with just a dude and a guitar, so maybe, like, Elliot Smith, get the crowd nice and depressed. Then, um, I like the Eels, and they’d get everyone raging, don’t know if they’d work together though. And The Drones. None of that would work though. >

Why?

Photo: Simon Conlon

It’s your gig man, you get to decide what works. If you could be reincarnated as anything, what would it be?

stuff. It’s everywhere. You know, like you get a CD and there’s five plastic wrappers on it. So maybe I’d just get rid of that. Just excessive stuff, you know?

I’d go a sea turtle.

Any advice for budding musos like yourself, who are working hard to put themselves out there and doing their own thing?

Definitive answer, you sounded like you were ready for that. Yeah, I’ve thought about it before, I just love turtles, they’re awesome. If you could change the world in one way, significant or insignificant, what would it be? I think I’d just get rid of a lot of packaging and

I think, just consume as much music and as much creative stuff as you can and just enjoy it. If you love writing music then you’re on the right path. Last word from Vance Joy? Keep loving life. > Benny Thompson

17 > Tom Morphett

MUSIC

KANYE WEST

yeezus

BLISS N ESO

circus in the sky

Charlie Chaplin’s speech from the Great Dictator opens Bliss and Eso’s new album. It is an interesting choice. The two-minute long speech is a quirky but clever way to introduce a typically chaotic, wisecracking, goodnatured follow-up to 2010’s Running on Air. The trio are still as juvenile as ever: ‘While you’re taking a bath/And a simple fart still makes you laugh’ the boys gleefully confess in ‘Act your age’. But the boys manage to avoid being puerile by having a damn good sense of humour. It’s the wisecracking lyrics that cover the few sins. The album is not particularly preachy and thank God for that. Neither are there any real classy couplets, but it hardly matters. Circus in the Sky is still a clever, cheerful album, a great mood-lifter and frankly that in itself deserves praise. > Lisa Matlin 18

err...

Kanye West does a damn good job of offending everybody on his new album, Yeezus. Mr Kardashian has hyped the shit out of this album, but don’t trust his judgement. After all, this is a guy who named his baby North West. Congratulations North, your Mother is a porn star and your Father’s an idiot. Kanyes’ massive ego infiltrates each song on the album, none more so than ‘I am a God’. It’s slightly unnerving to have someone singing that statement with such conviction. When Kanye says, ‘I am a God,’ you know he believes it. Overall, the album is offensive, crude and spiteful, with Kayne rapping about the same things he always raps about, namely: money, fame and pussy. ‘Black girl sippin’ white wine / Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign.’ Charming. There will always be a demand for abrasive, offensive albums like these. Unfortunately, Kanye West is going to be around for some time to come. > Lisa Matlin

JAY Z

magna carta holy grail

Jay Z might have officially dropped the hyphen, but he’s definitely picked up one hell of a collection of tracks with his latest effort. Magna Carta Holy Grail is the twelfth (yes, twelfth) studio album from the East-Side legend. The album aimed for a 90’s feel, and it definitely follows a traditional 90’s style of track structure. The start of the album is packed with some absolutely enormous tracks. The Justin Timberlake collaboration ‘Holy Grail’ and the performance-piece-turned-rap-track ‘Picasso Baby’ are both packed into those first ten minutes of the album. ‘Picasso Baby’ in particular harbors a grungy, hard-edged sound. Still present is Jay Z’s always impressive lyricism; as fresh and biting as any of his early work, with his signature freestyle feel. It’s not the hip-hop ‘Holy Grail’ the title would suggest, but it’s definitely going to wind up quite high in rap history. > Ronan McDonnell

ELIZABETH ROSE the good life From the genius mind of the hit album Crystallise, comes Sydney-based producer/songstress Elizabeth Rose’s new single, The Good Life. Having risen to fame amongst fans of electro and synth, Elizabeth Rose has once again created a masterpiece of sounds and waves guaranteed to take you away on a journey. The track is co-produced by Elizabeth herself, alongside Cameron Parkin aka Shazam and Styalz Feugo. Launched in Australia on the 26th August, The Good Life is not a track to be missed. > Perrie Kapernaros

Cub Sport Brisbane indie band Cub Sport – formally known as Cub Scouts are a five-piece group, bringing a real edge to indie pop music. They produce head-bopping tunes and now with their new EP Paradise, they’re sure to be knocking socks off!

Okay so, describe yourselves in five words or less.

sounds cliché.) There have been times in my life where I thought I was unhappy or something, then I’ve looked back on it a few months later and realFive mates makin’ music. ised how amazing it actually was. It’s obviously quite a summery song. SonWhat bands influence you and your music/ ically, I wanted to try to capture that euphoric sound? feeling of summer but lyrically, I wanted to try incorporate the whole spectrum of emotions that It’s really hard to pinpoint exact influences, but one come with the coming and going of summer. band that I really look up to is Vampire Weekend. Their sound just keeps developing and it’s always You currently launched your EP Paradise. Were fresh which I think is really hard to achieve. you pretty amped about that? How do you feel about the current music scene? There are heaps of really great new bands springing up. I think that Brisbane has a huge amount of great music at the moment. It’s exciting! We love your single ‘Paradise’. Can you tell us a bit about the making of that song (how long it took, what inspired your lyrics etc.)? Paradise was really quick to write. I wrote it the night before we headed down to Melbourne to do some recording. I actually wrote most of it while I was driving, I recorded a voice memo on my phone then when I got home I went to the piano and it all came together really easily. The main idea behind the song is that often ‘paradise’ can be right there in front of us and we don’t really realise that until it’s gone (sorry if that

Yeah absolutely. We took a long time to release our debut EP and that was a really big thing for us, so to be releasing our second EP is super exciting. Do you have anything else in the works for 2013? We’re touring with Jinja Safari throughout September and the start of October. We’re heading over to WA and playing lots of regional shows too, so that will be awesome. Have you had any crazy fans do anything really weird/crazy yet? At 4 Walls on Saturday a cool girl gave us a plastic sleeve with photo-shopped photos of us on super hero’s bodies, that was pretty great. > 21

Has anything really embarrassing happened to you while performing on stage?

If you were an inanimate object, what would you be?

Just my regular dancing, can’t do anything about that though really…

A dog collar so that I could spend lots of time with a dog. Hopefully I’d be stuck with a good one.

For all the Blaire Magazine readers, are you single and ready to mingle? Very single – probably too busy to do a whole lot of mingling though.

> Sarah Long

23 > Tom Morphett

BAND TOGETHER :

the problem with australian music

here are a lot of indie musicians and DJs in Australia. Almost every major musical success overseas has been someone like Gotye or Dirty South: a solo act. Those that haven’t have been duos like Angus and Julia Stone; with acts like Tame Impala being the exception, rather than the norm. Yet a cursory glance at Australia’s local live music scene will reveal bands galore, across all genres. What is it about Australia that makes these bands fail while solo artists succeed? To understand why a band fails, we must first understand what makes a solo artist succeed. That reason is inextricably linked to the rise of the DJ in Australia: it’s easier. For a band, a release means either spending money on expensive studio time, or spending money on expensive home studio gear. Clearly, neither is preferable. For an electronic artist, the barrier for entry is a laptop. In fact, as apps improve, this barrier could get as low as simply needing a tablet. That being said, a laptop or tablet is also their ‘instrument’ for performance, this brings that cost of entry down even further. Suddenly, a DJ with a few hundred dollars for an initial investment can pump out release after release and play shows every weekend; while a band will need that investment of a few hundred dollars each, just to be able to play live. Playing live is the second major hurdle for a band to get over; especially if they want to get any interstate gigs. A solo artist is one person and either a guitar, a laptop or maybe a keyboard if they’re feeling adventurous. A band has at least three times that amount of stuff and, most likely, a drum 24

kit that they’re going to need. Unlike Europe and America, Australia has very few major locations in which to play music. A tour of the entire east coast will yield, most likely, only three gigs. A tour of roughly the same distance across Europe and you will have played in seven or eight countries, depending on your route. This is financially crippling to bands and has, as a result, placed a desperate reliance upon the grant funding system. However, this isn’t necessarily a leg up as solo acts get access to the exact same funding. In fact, solo artists have been given preferential funding in an official government move to ‘find the next Gotye’. The only true advantage a band has over a solo artist is numbers. The modern music scene is a popularity contest nowadays and having more members to bring more friends to play and sell their music to makes a huge impact at the start of a career. However, somehow this doesn’t always translate online in what is apparently the biggest barrier to entry into the Australian scene right now: Triple J. Now, it’s hard to blame Triple J. They do more for unsigned Australian music than any of the other stations combined. However, it’s impossible to deny that, by doing so they have created a monopoly on new Australian music. Whilst they are government funded, they are ultimately a business, which means giving their audience what they want. For the better part of the last five years, this has meant solo indie acts like Matt Corby, or electronic music producers like Chet Faker. Now, Triple J, admittedly have done some amazing things for Aussie bands to help break this mould.

However, it’s far easier to promote Flume than, say Snakadaktal. Compare the number of Australian bands in last year’s Hottest 100 to the number of Australian solos and duos if you want to see this more clearly.

and they don’t have the popularity to make that many festival line-ups. Look at the line-ups for Coachella and Ultra Music Festival and marvel at how few Australians have made it onto the list next to the names that tour here every few years.

As much as I’ve painted solo acts and duos as having a path painted with roses, they too suffer from the two great catch-22’s of Australia’s music scene. Firstly, Triple J plays the music that is popular, but music only gets popular when it’s played on Triple J. Secondly, musicians get popular by touring interstate, but you need to be popular interstate to tour. This problem only gets worse when we start looking internationally. Even Triple J success stories don’t always translate overseas. Most famously, The Hilltop Hoods saw no success overseas until they were marketed as an Australian version of Smash Mouth. That happened. Similar to how we can’t seem to bring giant music acts down to us without the huge financial funding of a music festival; Australian acts can’t afford to get overseas,

‘Well, that’s an extremely grim painting of the Australian music scene,’ I hear you say. ‘Is there anyway of fixing it?’ Thankfully, yes, there is. It’s quite simple too. I guarantee you’ve got a friend in a band or you know a DJ that’s trying to make music that shies away from the norm, or you’ve got a friend with a spectacular voice that deserves recognition. The numbers say you do. Buy their music. Listen to it. Tell your friends if you like it. Get a gang together and turn up to their gigs. You will be doing more for the Australian music industries than you know.

> Ronan McDonnell

an Tyley was born in Townsville, Queensland in 1986. At the age of three, his family packed up and moved to the Central Coast of NSW. He grew up just meters from this beautiful coastline, so it is no surprise that he has built a career around chasing waves, snapping sunrises, capturing sunsets, being engulfed in the ocean and catching those perfect moments. He began surfing at the age of 11 and knew from a young age that the ocean would be an influential factor in his life. Only over the last year has Ian shifted his focus to behind the lens to capture the moments he otherwise couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Since making this transition Ian has discovered a new passion in surf photography. Working both above and below the water he captures all aspects of the sport. With endless practice and self-teaching Ian showcases the surf and landscape that his local area has to offer. Ianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s photographs have gained local recognition on websites such as Cloak and Dagger magazine, as a featured artist. He can be found most days checking the surf in the early hours of the day, in and around the Central Coast.

IAN TYLEY PHOTOGRAPHY

LOVE VS.

All you need is love, right? Wrong. You also ne partner are

hen I announced to my boyfriend that I can get his DNA tested to find out whether he is going to cheat on me, or how long he’s planning on sticking around for, he choked on his food. Now, I’m not sure whether that’s a good sign or not, however I’m leaving it up to romantic fate to decide on whether he’s a keeper. He then proceeded to tell me that it sounded like a load of shit. But I can assure him and everyone else that it’s actually not. Yes, you can in fact now determine through a DNA testing whether your boyfriend is likely to do the naughty (cheat) and whether the relationship is actually going to last. Talk about an absolute romance killer! Who can we thank? Recent research conducted by biological scientists. Once upon a time, we believed in a spiritual and poetic love that the philosophers spent years studying. Nowadays, the question of love has wandered over to the world of science and started knocking on some doors. Scientists are no longer accepting the idea of just falling in love and are now questioning what actually goes on in the brain, when we are in love with one another. Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and research professor at Rutgers University, has always wanted to know what goes

on in the brain when falling madly in love, because people have often thought that romantic love was a part of the supernatural. Fisher states, ‘we don’t think that fear is part of the supernatural, or anger or surprise. But somehow we have relegated romantic love to the stars, to magic and there will always be magic to love.’ She decided that she would start putting people who were madly in love in a brain scanner just to see what was really going on. The results were staggering. So firstly, Fisher proposed that we fall in love in three stages. Each stage involves different hormones. What are these three stages? Stage 1: Lust Lust is all about the sex: when all you want to do is become cheeky little freaks beneath the sheets. This is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen. Don’t be confused by the fact that testosterone only relates to males, as it has been proven that it plays a major role in women as well. In fact, when a couple starts out, the woman’s testosterone increases, so she is more likely to become more aggressive and the male’s testosterone decreases, resulting in a calmer nature.

SCIENCE

eed a DNA test to find out whether you and your e compatible. Stage 2: Attraction This is the stage that you’re most likely to get bullied by your close mates; being told that you’re ‘whipped’. Don’t try and fight it pal, go with the flow and embrace the Mr. Whippy, as it won’t last forever. You will find yourself daydreaming about your new babe. You may even lose your appetite over your newfound obsession. Okay, so the attraction stage is made up of a group of neuro-transmitters called ‘monoamines’. They are dopamine, which is also activated by cocaine; norepinephrine, also known as adrenaline; and serotonin, which can actually send us temporarily insane. With those three active ingredients buzzing around in your system, how can you argue that love is not the most amazing feeling in the world? Stage 3: Attachment This is generally what replaces the attraction stage, whilst falling into the ‘comfort’ zone, if your relationship is going to last. It would be an amazing feeling to remain in stage 2, however we would never get any work done! Attachment is a long lasting commitment which keeps couples together. The two lovely hormones that are released by the nervous system are oxytocin, which is released during orgasm and childbirth, and vasopressin, which effects social behavior and there are genes that control this hormone (remember this).

But what determines why we fall in love with one person, rather than another? There is a sufficient amount of psychological evidence that proves we tend to fall in love with somebody from the same socioeconomic background, same ethnic background, same level of intelligence, good looks and so forth. So similarity does attract. However, Fisher wanted to know if basic body chemistry, genetics and hormones drive you towards some people and not others. After all, what do people mean when they say, ‘well we had chemistry?’ It turns out that there are four brain systems. The dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen systems. Each one of them are linked with a whole constellation of personality traits. Fisher created a questionnaire to see what degree the personality traits are linked to with the systems. She was also able to study not only which traits people express, but who they’re naturally drawn to. She discovered that in two cases, similarity attracts, in the other two cases opposites attract. So what brain system do you possess? If you’re expressive of the traits linked with dopamine you tend to be creative, curious, spontaneous, energetic, novelty seeking, risk taking and mentally flexible. These people generally want people like themselves. So people who are expressive of the dopamine system are known as ‘explorers’ and explorers tend to seek other explorers. > 35

If you’re expressive of the serotonin system, as Fisher likes to call them the ‘builders’, then you’re more likely to be conventional, traditional, cautious but not scared, follow the rules, respect authority, more religious, loyal modest and they also seek somebody like themselves. The traditional builder will source another traditional builder. If you’re expressive of the high testosterone, also known as the ‘director’ then you tend to be tough minded, analytical, logical, direct and skeptical. They’re generally good at things like math, or engineering. They will gravitate to someone with a high oestrogen and vise versa. If you’re someone who is high oestrogen, you’re compassionate, verbally skilled, imaginative, intuitive, and see the big picture. And you’ll gravitate to someone of high testosterone.

apparently there is no ‘planning’ actually involved. The men that have a tendency to cheat on their loved ones are genetically wired differently. If you cut open the brain of a male who is one hundred percent devoted and cut open the brain of a cheeky cheater, then placed them under microscopes, you will be able to differ the two. Or you can just opt for a DNA sample. This is how it works: vasopressin (mentioned earlier), is a hormone that affects social behavior and is controlled by a gene. There is a front section of the gene that indicates levels of fidelity. The strength of a person’s emotional attachment is linked to that front section of the gene. Still with me?

In a recent study published in Nature Neuroscience, researchers monitored rodents and found So do opposites attract? Well sometimes they do. that males with a longer part of that gene nursed From determining what brain system that you their young and took care of the mother. Howevand your partner possess, you can actually predict er, the cousin, that had a shorter part of the gene, whether your relationship is going to last. Crazy, had several partners. Researchers then took the huh? gene from the first rodent and injected it into the second rodents’ brain and their roles completely If you’re high in dopamine, the person who always swapped. This gene looks to control promiscuity loves doing something new, then you’re most likely and parental investment – humans also have it! to jump from relationship to relationship, always So, if you do not wish to let fate take its course and sourcing something fun! You might settle in your decide for you, then you can get a DNA sample to 40’s with someone of high serotonin, but it won’t find out whether he’s got a part of this gene and if take you long before you get bored again. Or, if he does, then it’s a good indicator that he’s likely to you both possess high testosterone there will no cheat. doubt be great sex, but the flaw of this relationship is the lack of good people skills and will probaThese tests are currently available, but not at a bly both be workaholics who will never see each cheap price of $900 a pop. However there are preother! dictions that in 10 years this test will be available Even though there are non-biological facover the counter. tors that need to be considered whilst determining the length of a relationship; a lot of the time the My thoughts exactly? Well it’s very hard to argue biological factors can anticipate potential relation- with science. However, this DNA testing is just ship problems. another reason to excuse people from being So, what about the cheating side? Can we accountable for their own actions. Sure, some really work out whether our man is planning on people are more likely to cheat than others, but at doing the dirty deed behind our backs? Well, the end of the day it’s about having the 36

self-discipline to do what’s morally right. Too often these days people choose not to take responsibility and the DNA testing will continue to fuel that. Furthermore, there are other reasons why people tend to cheat regardless of their ‘gene pool’. Boys who have grown up witnessing their father’s fidelity, sometimes mirror that exact behavior. Therefore, there can be a spiritual element involved. On that note, ill leave you with this; Nature vs. Nurture? Is it the nature of the beast, or the way we are nurtured?

> Sarah Long

Spring

There is nothing quite as exciting as the start of spring time. You can kiss goodbye to cold weather and enjoy being warm for a change. You can start dreaming of summer and which beach you’re going to be watching sunsets at on your next holiday. Best of all, you can do a massive wardrobe cull to make way for some fabulous new pieces. Spring is going to be filled with colour and patterns galore, which I know can be scary to navigate. Here are a few tips to make sure you kill it.

yes please Punk Me

Chanel

When every IT celeb punked out at the MET ball earlier this year, it was only a matter of time before it hit the catwalks and then filtered down to us savvy fashionistas. This style is all about sophistication and classic styling with studs, leather and tartans to give it edge. Match this with burgundy lips, smokey eye-makeup and as many earcuffs as you can handle to fully punkify yourself. Remember, punk is an attitude as much as it is a way of dressing, you need to commit if you want to nail this trend.

Dries Van Noten

Garage Grunge

My mum always told me what goes around comes around, and she was not just talking about me stealing my sister’s clothes! We are in the midst of a complete 90’s revival and I am loving every second. Checks mixed with denim, mixed with faux fur, mixed with velvet, and topped off with a dark purple lip, are the key to channeling your inner grunge goddess. Deep jewel tones give new life to this look du jour. Less is not more if you want to try this trend. Think Gwen Stefani from No Doubt days, on steroids.

Fashion A Rose By Any Other Name

Preen

All girls secretly love pink whether they choose to admit to it or not. This season’s blush and iced-pink tones are going to make you want to wear it loud and proud. Brilliant block-colour and floral patterns in pink hues combine to create femininity and grown-up glamour. Amp up the toughness by adding slick black leather and intricate lace to mesh catwalk dramatics with wearable street style.

Marc Jacobs

maybe not...

Pyjamas All Day Every Day Bedtime dressing has been a big hit on the catwalks this year, with the most notable being Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton. Marc usually has the midas touch when it comes to latest trends, but I’m not convinced on nighties for day time. Whilst I will admit that floaty slip dresses, sheer fabrics and barely there negligees can make you feel beautiful and damn sexy. They can also make you look ridiculous, especially when you wear them out of the house. So maybe don’t. Actually, absolutely don’t.

Tory Price: Sportsgirl Style Me Studio personal stylist. Vintage fashion lover. Op shop

addict. Sunglasses collector. Yoga poser. Purple is my favourite colour. Thriller by Michael Jackson is the theme song to my life. If I wasn’t a stylist I would be a unicorn. 39

September It has come to that time again; the winter-spring transition. The time I fear the most; the time where it starts becoming unacceptable to walk out of the house in all black day in day out. The time I have to start branching out with colours again to prove I’m not some sort of gothic vampire, having just lived in all black clothing the last three months, what a shit time it is. I’m not going past Timberland boots paired with some nice black pants that’s going to be my big tip. They’ve been seen regularly on the Hypebeast instagram and website on the designers and models worn in this exact way. As always with fashion it seems to be a recurring theme of classic items being recycled back up to the mainstream and people fossicking high and low for them. So there it is, Timberland boots in the classic or moonboot style is one of my hit or miss picks.

The new Nike Lunar Chukka’s are absolutely on point in my opinion, versatility is what makes all the flyknit shoes so attractive. They can be worn with just about any outfit as shown by the mid-20 club-goer all the way through to rush hour businessman trying to get in their 20 minutes of exercise a day whilst on their lunch break. The colour schemes and patterns are endless as well, which ticks another box for the shoe.

More bold statements with baseball jerseys are going to be something big this year, if they’re already not big enough. Simple designs, good fits and clean lines make them that piece that is seeing sales in New York rise dramatically, that plus Kendrick wore a Chicago White Sox at the BET awards and people seem to take notice of what rappers wear for some reason, don’t ask me why though… 40

Kith White Label

I Love Ugly

Venture out with your brands too, I Love Ugly is a New Zealand-based label which makes one-off pieces that are some of my personal favourites at the moment, and they are currently stocked at Dakota 501 on Chapel St; definitely worth a look. Staple Pigeon, Sneaker Politics, Adidas Originals and Stussy have also recently released some extremely cool pieces of clothing and their lookbooks are a reflection of creative teams that are doing things no one else has yet.

So there you have it, another month gone, fare bit of money spent on some clothes, put some new shoes on my feet, self appreciation levels are high. Feeling good. Any questions or suggestions are definitely welcome. davidm@blairemagazine.com > Dave Meadows

KEEPING UP

THE

APPEARANCES OF A

MOVIE STAR

little over a month ago, Sarah, our lovely Creative Director here at Blaire asked me whether I’d seen a then-recent interview with action movie star Bruce Willis during the publicity campaign for his latest film Red 2. I hadn’t, but I’d heard about it earlier that afternoon, so I headed over to the Internet’s database of videos of cats and idiots hurting themselves (aka. YouTube) and did a search for it. In the interview, which was undertaken by London radio station Magic FM and filmed for their website, Willis sits, stooped in his chair, looking completely absolutely uninterested. The interviewer stumbles his way through a set of prepared questions, only to be shut down awkwardly by Willis literally every time he opens his mouth. At one point, when asked where his favourite place to film during the production of Red 2 was, Willis declares his love for filming in Istanbul. When the reporter notes that Red 2 was not filmed in Istanbul, Willis rebuts with ‘not in this movie… in general I like Istanbul.’ Soon after, Willis stops the session to remind the interviewer, who’s incessantly trying his best to run a smooth, fun interview, that ‘this part is not acting, the fun part is over. We’re just selling the film now. Sales.’ When asked how he would sell the film, Willis replied, ‘I wouldn’t. I’d slash my hooves.’ Another gem comes after the interviewer asks Willis if he enjoys travelling the world outside of filming and if he’d ever go on a road trip through Route 66. Willis’ reply: ‘I’m thinking about driving right now. I can hardly keep my mind on this interview.’ Not but two or three days after I saw this interview I managed to catch Willis’ appearances on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, The Late Show with David Letterman and the UK morning show DayBreak. On Fallon, Willis entered stage wearing a perm wig and spontaneously begun a song and dance number of Sherry Baby by Franki Valli and the Four Seasons, which Fallon excitedly joined in on. On Letterman, after being announced to the audience, Willis decided the best way to

enter the set was to ride his bicycle through the crowd and onto the stage. Then, on DayBreak, he showed up to his interview wearing a dressing gown, which he left on the entire time. Now, this might seem like pretty bizarre and erratic behavior, and had this been any other celebrity I would probably say that the guy was losing his freakin’ mind. But the thing is, aside from these odd displays, Willis is no newcomer to… well, to the world of really fuckin’ weird interviews.

‘ Although Bruce Willis seems like a nutter after this recent string of weirdness, it is this that keeps people watching his movies, it is this that keeps him a star. ’

If you continue to trowel YouTube, you’ll find an interview from a year or so ago where Willis decides to take a sip from a glass of water and then spit it all over the hotel room floor. And even more noteworthy, earlier in the year, in an interview that was somewhat similar to his Magic FM blunder, he appeared on UK talk program The One Show, where he mumbled his way through his ‘sales job’ for A Good Day to Die Hard answering questions in the same dry, smarmy and pretentious way that we’ve come accustomed to. Some sources tried to say he was ‘stoned’ or ‘spaced out.’ Others said he was simply ‘jetlagged’ and ‘having a bad day (to Die Hard?)’ But you know what I say? I say he’s just Bruce Willis being Bruce Willis. Or if you like, Bruce Willis being a Movie Star. The reason Sarah mentioned this particular interview to me was because she wanted to pose a series of questions for me to address: would something like this damage the career of an actor? How important is a movie star’s fan-base in Hollywood? And most importantly, can or do movie stars solely rely on good acting to make it big > 43

keeping up the appear and sustain their stardom? Instantly, I had an answer for all three questions. The answers, respectively, were simple – No. Very. And, again, No. What we have with these series of interviews, or what I collectively would like to refer to as The Best of The Bruce Willis Show, is a perfect example of a ‘Movie Star’ doing it right. There’s a saying you’ll hear come up in a million and one Hollywood films where a character will say ‘there’s two kinds of people in this world…’ (Seriously, look it up on YouTube, there’s compilations of them.) Well, similarly, in Hollywood films there are two kinds of people – Actors and Movie Stars. A Movie Star simply loves being famous. They lap up the attention, make a spectacle of everything they do, everywhere they go. We see them everywhere – plastered on 50-foot-tall billboards for their latest blockbuster film, advertising the latest skin-care product or the most prestigious designer clothing brands in fashion magazines, on every single talk and interview program and of course in movie trailers during every ad break on television. These are people who sell themselves and become their own brand. They are not actors, they are entities who simply make money for studios and for themselves because they are them, they are a star. These are the people we go to movies to see. Most of the time, we don’t go to a movie to see the movie, we go to a movie to see the star! They are the big names – Willis, Clooney, Pitt, Jolie, Schwarzenegger, Downey Jr. to name a few. The Actor on the other hand, we rarely see. They keep things quiet, and in some respects, hate the whole fame-game thing. They rarely do interviews and only ever do films that they think are important, artsy or unique – they take themselves

extremely serious, whereas on the otherhand the Movie Star plays their fame card like a game. Actors are brilliant talents, and in most cases, people we absolutely love and adore, but they don’t necessarily sell tickets. People who come to mind are the likes of Sam Rockwell, Guy Pearce, Daniel Day-Lewis, Kevin Spacey… they are people who make brilliant films, but films we want to see for the film itself and not for the actor acting in it. Don’t get me wrong – there are multitudes of movie stars who are brilliant actors too. Some being Clooney, DiCaprio, Hanks, Depp, and most recently, Jennifer Lawrence. But their superb acting-chops are not what take us to see these people in a film, it’s what they do off-stage that does. Clooney is one cat who is as cool as cucumbers and is a notorious sexy older womanizing bachelor (real-life James Bond, anybody?), DiCaprio drags the ladies who want an eye-full of sexy man-meat (he’s one of the main reasons Titanic has made $2.2 billion), Hanks is a funny bugger who would rather tape his Emmy to a car and use it as a hood ornament instead of flash it around (seriously, search ‘Tom Hanks Emmy’ on the interwebz and check it out), Depp is… well Depp is Depp – a movie star because he doesn’t want to be. And, of course, there’s Jennifer Lawrence, a bright, bubbly gorgeous young blonde who simply doesn’t give a shit – let’s just remember that literally the first thing she did when she won her Academy Award and faced the media was brandish her Oscar in the air, screw up her face and hold out her middle finger (again, interwebz – ‘Jennifer Lawrence Middle Finger’ – You’re welcome.) So basically, what I’m saying is, although Bruce Willis seems like a nutter after this recent string of weirdness, it is this that keeps people

rances of a movie star

even think of any and I’ve seen practically all of them. Out of almost 100 movies, he’s done maybe ten decent ones. A pretty awful track record – but watching his movies, it is this that keeps him a it goes to show that John McClane will drag you star. It’s not going to deter anyone away because back every single time. Also remember, Willis he’s just doing his duty as a star to make a public started his career doing comedies like Hudson mockery of himself. Did we stop watching Hugh Hawk and the brilliant TV series Moonlighting. Grant movies after he was caught with a prostiNot only is he a movie star, he’s a comedian and he tute? No, we loved him even more! Did we toss plays the jackass all too well – he plays for laughs aside Charlie Sheen when he had his insane-craand plays to keep his fans happy. zy-cocaine-infused meltdown? No, we cheered Of course, it applies for every action film him on and begged for more craziness! Who star. Arnie was the Terminator and the Governator doesn’t still love Lindsay Lohan even though she of California (God, how funny was that?), Stallone went off the rails? Russell Crowe threw a phone was Rocky AND Rambo and Samuel L. ‘mutha at a hotel worker and we all shouted, ‘Hey Russ, fuckin’ snakes on a plane’ Jackson is just one throw more phones! That was classic!’ Downey Jr. crazy-awesome, loud-mouthed black guy. Really, disappeared for a while after he went away on drug who went into Snakes on a Plane because it looked charges, but he came back as Iron Man and now like a good film? We went in because we wanted he’s the coolest dude we’ve ever seen. And, let’s to see Sam Jackson fuck about with some snakes not forget about when Tom Cruise went all nutzo. gettin’ all up in his grill in a plane at thirty-thouDid we hate him? Well, yeah we did for a bit… sand feet in the air. We loved that movie because but, then we continued to go to his films ‘cause he’s it sucked. We loved it ‘cause Sam was bein’ Sam. Goddamn Maverick for fuck’s sake!’ (But really, Likewise, with the biggest action movie ever, The how many impossible missions can that man com- Expendables – we had no idea what the fuck was plete?) going on in that God-awful movie, but we loved Similarly, what do we remember Bruce Wil- it and went back for a second helping and will go lis for most of all? Think about it… simple isn’t it? back for a third next year. We remember him for Die Hard – and that’s why we love him. Sure, he did some great films after it Movie Stars have been around since the dawn of like Pulp Fiction and The Sixth Sense. But, we love the Hollywood Golden-Era back when Sinatra Bruce because he’s John McClane and that’s why flaunted his Mafioso connections, Beatty slept his we keep going to see his films, and continue to love way through stardom, Bogart drank and drank him even when he acts like an ostentatious jerk. and drank, Dean died young, Brando went nuts, To his fan-base, it’s not seen as Bruce Willis being Audrey flaunted her sweetness and Marilyn flaunta dick, it’s seen as John McClane being a bloody ed her curves, Grace Kelly became a real-life prinlegend. Seriously, what was the last Bruce Willis cess, Reagan became the actual President of the film we went to see that we actually liked? I can’t United States and Gable quite frankly didn’t give a damn. Now of course, most of those guys were astounding actors, but it’s their fan-base that >

sold and continues to sell tickets – and they had fan-bases because of who they were off-screen and not because of the kind of films they made. I read an article recently in a popular fashion and pop culture magazine that tried to argue that the Movie Star is dead. Well I’d like to rebut. The Movie Star is more alive than ever; making crap movies and being cool, latching onto a fan-base who won’t ever leave their side, no matter what antics they get up to. The fan-base of a movie star is the difference between a shit Willis / Arnie / Stallone movie like The Expendables 2 making in excess of $312 million and the brilliant Sam Rockwell picture Moon making just shy of $10 million (30x less than The Expendables 2) at the box office. If Bruce wasn’t Bruce, if Arnie wasn’t Arnie and Sam Jackson wasn’t Sam Jackson, we wouldn’t see their movies. And it goes to show that incidences like Willis’ latest TV blunders don’t make a lick of difference to how they’re perceived or to how well

their movies do. Fan-bases are extremely important, while the big movie stars (most of whom can’t act for shit) live on for future generations, the talented actors like Rockwell and Pearce will fade away into near obscurity. It’s a shame, but that’s Hollywood – where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul... thought I’d end it on a Marilyn quote. Yeah, I like that. > Dave Lee

47 > Tom Morphett

d e e n e w why

Zooey

Deschanel F

ar more often than not, the iconic female celebrity is synonymous with being a sex symbol. Hollywood craves buxom and sexy blondes who are breathtaking. The likes of Marilyn Munroe, Cameron Diaz and Blake Lively take spotlights with confidence and willingness. If Hollywood craves a different appeal, the mysterious and dangerously alluring beauty, or the brunette, we see Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman and Megan Fox. Even Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence had plenty of screen-time stretching her dancer’s body. And no doubt these are often very talented actresses who are tremendously respected, yet they are not without the memorable, suggestive pose. The pose which slacked the jaw of the young male protagonist and which left viewers slack-jawed with another star burned in their memories. So where does this leave Zooey Deschanel? Is she any different at all? The thirty-three year-old TV actor/ movie star/musician has somewhat recently become a spectacle of attention. Her Twitter feed has more than four-million followers, she has appeared on all the late night talk-shows and often appears on commercial breaks. People know about her. Your friends know about her. And since the indie-smash 500 Days of Summer, they may’ve fallen a little in love with her. And she hasn’t peaked yet, either. Having just finished its second season and going strong, the television series New Girl written by Elizabeth Meriwether who found Deschanel was perfect for the role, aired its pilot with 10 million viewers which has since kept climbing. The show describes its protagonist Jess as “adorkable”. So, with Zooey Deschanel cropping up everywhere and > 48

becoming an indie-turned-mainstream star, it’s safe to say she is a celebrity icon. Her appeal is a combination of adorable and dorky. These aren’t necessarily terms which promote sex appeal. A 2010 trailer for Nikita, an action thriller show starring Maggie Q, has the protagonist Nikita, poolside at a fancy resort, knifing, breaking the necks of, and beating up men twice her size. Through it all, she is clad in a red bikini to show off her impeccable body. Deschanel’s character on New Girl is also not against near-nakedness, for instance a scene from the first season has her enter the apartment, making out with her boyfriend played by Justin Long as he takes off her top. The scene appears sexual, but is really focused on Jess’s awkward response to intimacy. When they enter her room, she can’t help but burst into a falsetto melody repeating the word “intercourse”, before apologising, going to the bathroom and assuring herself she can do this. It’s worth noting that upon Jess’s half-naked entrance, her roommate Nick, asleep on the couch, wakes up, glances in her direction, lays back down and goes to sleep again. Now, New Girl is of course a comedy, so it isn’t going to have the same sexual focus as Nikita. But isn’t that the issue? We have one show which takes an everyday sexual occurrence and uses it for its comedic value, while another pointlessly adds nakedness to a killing scene. We need more actors like Deschanel to add more realistic and positive depictions of female sexuality on screen.

just thrown into stardom with a pretty face and a few connections. At thirty-three, Deschanel has been a working actress since she was eighteen. She mostly appeared in independent films like Manic, in which she played a patient at a mental hospital suffering serious post-traumatic stress disorder, alongside future co-star Joseph Gordon-Levitt. In Winter Passing, as Reese Holden she was a downon-her-luck actress with a cocaine and meaningless sex habit sent to her alcoholic father’s house to retrieve private letters she can sell to gain a little money. Her few episodes in Weeds had her as a troublemaker ruining Uncle Andy’s life with her wily charms. Before 500 Days of Summer she was well-established in low-budget dramas and comedies and as a hardworking versatile actress. As for her family, it wasn’t as if Mary Jo and Caleb Deschanel were itching to put their daughters into the spotlight. Neither sister has acting credits before the age of eighteen. This is because Caleb told them he didn’t want them to enter auditions until they were at least sixteen. And notice the kind of films for which Caleb is the cinematographer; blockbusters with superstars. Caleb wasn’t itching to show off his daughters. He was doing his thing, and they theirs.

Zooey doesn’t even consider herself a full-time actress. In addition to her producer’s credit on New Girl, she is one half of a successful folk-band, the “She” of She and Him. “Him” is M. Ward, a permanent resident in the folk music scene. While working together on the film The Go Getter, Ward There seems to be a bit of bewilderment at and Deschanel were asked to play a song together. Deschanel’s sudden uprise in Hollywood. Deschanel had already recorded plenty of her own However, Deschanel comes from a family with its music but felt too shy to show it to anyone, until roots in show business. Her father Caleb her now band-mate took an interest. To form the Deschanel is a successful cinematographer who first album, Volume One, they were each busy with has worked on films such as The Passion of the their own projects and collaborated long distance. Christ, The Patriot and the recent Jack Reacher. Two more have since followed, Volume Two and Her mother is a working actress who played a Volume Three, plus a Christmas Album titled A recurring character on Twin Peaks and Zooey’s Very She and Him Christmas. On the Late Show, sister Emily Deschanel is well known as the title Deschanel told Letterman as soon as she had fincharacter of the TV series Bones. But Zooey wasn’t ished filming the second season of New Girl 49

At thirty-three, Deschanel has been a working actress since she was eighteen. She mostly appeared in independent films like Manic, in which she played a patient at a mental hospital suffering serious post-traumatic stress disorder, alongside future co-star Joseph Gordon-Levitt. In Winter Passing, as Reese Holden she was a down-onher-luck actress with a cocaine and meaningless sex habit sent to her alcoholic father’s house to retrieve private letters she can sell to gain a little money. Her few episodes in Weeds had her as a troublemaker ruining Uncle Andy’s life with her wily charms. Before 500 Days of Summer she was well-established in low-budget dramas and comedies and as a hardworking versatile actress. As for her family, it wasn’t as if Mary Jo and Caleb Deschanel were itching to put their daughters into the spotlight. Neither sister has acting credits before the age of eighteen. This is because Caleb told them he didn’t want them to enter auditions until they were at least sixteen. And notice the kind of films for which Caleb is the cinematographer; blockbusters with superstars. Caleb wasn’t itching to show off his daughters. He was doing his thing, and they theirs.

Zooey doesn’t even consider herself a full-time actress. In addition to her producer’s credit on New Girl, she is one half of a successful folk-band, the “She” of She and Him. “Him” is M. Ward, a permanent resident in the folk music scene. While working together on the film The Go Getter, Ward There seems to be a bit of bewilderment at Deand Deschanel were asked to play a song together. schanel’s sudden uprise in Hollywood. However, Deschanel had already recorded plenty of her own Deschanel comes from a family with its roots in music but felt too shy to show it to anyone, until show business. Her father Caleb Deschanel is a her now band-mate took an interest. To form the successful cinematographer who has worked on first album, Volume One, they were each busy with films such as The Passion of the Christ, The Patritheir own projects and collaborated long distance. ot and the recent Jack Reacher. Her mother is a Two more have since followed, Volume Two and working actress who played a recurring character Volume Three, plus a Christmas Album titled A on Twin Peaks and Zooey’s sister Emily Deschanel Very She and Him Christmas. On The Late Show, is well known as the title character of the TV series Deschanel told Letterman as soon as she had Bones. But Zooey wasn’t just thrown into stardom finished filming the second season of New Girl with a pretty face and a few connections. 50

that she was going straight on tour for Volume Three. All the albums have met with considerable praise and respect, though the music is not what one would call, “mainstream” as it doesn’t even feel contemporary. Fit with ukuleles, string sections, acoustic guitars and a choir of Frankie Valli-like backup vocals (all of which were provided by Zooey on Volume One), the band ends up sounding like a throwback to the Beach Boys with a 50s long-gone-cool vibe. The band certainly polarises listeners, but those who love it will find a real gem here, a unique ensemble full of energy and fun. In addition to her song writing, acting and producing, Zooey is also the cofounder of the HelloGiggles website (hellogiggles.com) which is intended for ‘smart, independent, and creative females’ because, Deschanel claimed, ‘it’s important to teach young girls to be strong people.’ She gives a voice to these young girls, as the site is full of articles written by women and about women’s

issues, plus the odd video of a Chihuahua or a kitten. Because if it didn’t have a lighter, cute side, how could it be Zooey’s? So why do we need Zooey Deschanel? Because she’s recently been shoved into the spotlight, and whenever a celebrity is made under that harsh light, opinions gather, worshipping begins and a role-model forms, for better or for worse. Deschanel’s hard work, her versatility and her belief in strengthening the next generation of women demonstrates her place in popular culture is a worthy one. And although it might not signify a change in how we appreciate iconic female celebrities, we can at least take this one as a good example of moving in the right direction. > Tom Bensley

FILM

A Round-Up of Films currently in Multiplex by Nic Barker

PACIFIC RIM A glorious, action-packed and hugely fun film, packed with awe-inspiring visual effects, kickass robot/ monster fight scenes and fun performances from Idris Elba, Charlie Day and Ron Perlman. Del Toro is in full command here, giving the audience an incredibly entertaining time at the movies, regardless of the character-development and narrative shortcomings. Lead actors Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy) and Academy Award nominee Rinko Kikuchi (Babel) are fine but mostly unmemorable – the real stars here are the action scenes, and acclaimed filmmaker Del Toro (he of Hellboy fame and maker of the masterpiece Pan’s Labyrinth) handles such setpieces with a sense of child-like joy and an eye for the absurd. One of the best blockbusters this year.

ONLY GOD FORGIVES Nicolas Winding Refn’s films are a divisive lot, and Only God Forgives is no exception. Many will hate it, and I understand why - it’s a slow, mysterious and somewhat experimental film, but it’s also a stunning, confronting and beautiful one, punched up with an awesome Cliff Martinez score. Gosling’s Julian is even more restrained here than the actor was in Refn’s last film, ‘Drive’, whilst Kristen Scott-Thomas is deliciously nasty as Julian’s sharp-tongued mother. Thai actor Vithaya Pansringarm is fantastic as a police officer caught up in this wonderfully elliptical tale of revenge. Even for those of us who aren’t fans of Refn, Only God Forgives is a fascinating work that will make for very interesting conversations once you leave the cinema.

Melbourne International Film Festival picks:

PASSION Brian De Palma returns with a typically melodramatic, over the top, somewhat sleazy little thriller that features pretty great performances, but often meanders into ridiculousness. How you react to De Palma’s operatic treatment of the material depends solely on personal taste, but as a fan of the director’s previous work (which include great thrillers such as Carrie and Dressed to Kill, as well as Scarface) I enjoyed his latest. Be warned though – it gets a bit crazy.

MYSTERY ROAD The new film by acclaimed Australian filmmaker Ivan Sen (Beneath Clouds) marks something of a departure for the director. A suspenseful crime thriller, Mystery Road follows Detective Jay Swan (Pedersen) who returns to his small hometown from the city to investigate the murder of an indigenous teenager – but also has to confront a community ravaged by drugs, prostitution and corruption. Pedersen, who features in practically every scene of the film, gives a stoic and superb lead performance, an understated and sensitive piece of acting that elevates the material beyond most contemporary thrillers.

‘ These are some pretty major risks for guys... so why do we do it? ’

The Ethics of T

here are a lot of important decisions to make when you have a child – what will we name them? Public school or private school? And if it’s a boy, will they be circumcised? It’s a big question. A quick refresher course for those of you out there may not be fully familiar; circumcision is the surgical removal of the skin that covers the head of your penis. Circumcision is usually performed for family reasons or religious purposes, being a common practice in Judaism and Islam. This is why the rate at which boys are circumcised varies by country. Here in Australia fewer than 20% of baby boys are circumcised and more babies are snipped in rural areas compared to their metropolitan counterparts. Like most other guys my age I’m uncircumcised and that is something that I’ve never felt ashamed of. I remember going to swimming lessons when I was in primary school and the other students pointing out how a certain red headed classmate didn’t have any foreskin. Several years later, when I went on student exchange as a sixteen year old to San Francisco, the topic came up again, only this time I was that one kid who was different. The two questions that the American student 54

asked me were: what does it feel like? And how do I clean it? I responded with ‘normal’ and ‘with soap and water’ respectively. It was so normal for me that I’d never really considered how it might feel to be without it. When I got to university the topic came again in drama class – this time with a surprising amount of input from some of my female classmates. Many of the girls were adamant that ‘uncircumcised penises are disgusting’ and that ‘they’d always prefer an arrow over a turtle’. When I pointed out the fact that the majority of guys had foreskin it didn’t seem to matter, nothing would change their opinion. Looking at the media I could see where this idea was coming from. In an episode of ‘Sex and the City’, Charlotte refuses to sleep with an uncircumcised man until he gets his foreskin removed. A show that promotes women’s sexual freedom was telling its audition that a natural part of the man’s body was disgusting. None of the other characters disagree with Charlotte – and with that ‘Sex and the City’, a show adored by young women, taught a generation that foreskin is not something to be desired. Apart from the dubious fact that some girls apparently like the look better, there are several benefits to being circumcised. Circumcised men have a lower risk of contracting sexually

f Circumcisions transmitted infections and also have an easier genital hygiene regime. The benefits however come with some pretty significant risks. Like any surgery, circumcision may lead to a number of serious complications such as excessive bleeding and infection. Circumcision may cause scarring and may also reduce sensitivity, which can greatly reduce sexual pleasure later in life for both partners. Men may also feel occasional irritation because the foreskin is no longer there to protect the head of your penis. These are some pretty major risks for guys, even if some girls do find it preferable – so why do we do it? A close family member of mine had to be circumcised when he was 20 due to a medical condition. When he came home from the hospital every step he took caused him to wince with pain. Every time he sat down he let out a groan of pain and going to the toilet gave him even more discomfort. The worst part of the whole situation was he was forced to wear paper underwear under all of his clothes for the first two weeks after the surgery because the wound was still open and would bleed and rub on his underwear. I spent those two weeks watching him shudder with pain and wondered why anybody ever decides to circumcise a healthy baby. People say that getting

circumcised is much more painful as an adult than as a child but from my experiences that isn’t a strong enough reason to encourage it. As an adult we use language to explain how we are feeling. We can tell people that we are in pain and we are able to take action to fix it. Babies don’t have this privilege. They can’t tell their parents how they feel or describe how their pain is affecting them. To inflict them with a high amount of pain against their will for an unnecessary procedure seems like a bad idea to me. So should we be circumcising our children? If you were to ask me I’d say no. Obviously if it is being done for religious purposes that is a contentious issue, which I’ll steer away from. The foreskin is a natural part of the human body – it’s not some infection or abnormality that occurs and every baby boy is born with one. Each man has one and therefore I think it should be each man’s decision as to whether he wants to keep it. That way they can weigh up the pros and cons of the issue and then make a decision as to what suits them and their body, and not have someone make that choice for them. So when it comes to circumcision and the big cut, I’m firmly pro-choice. > Spencer Hadlow 55

Superheroes amongst men

ustralia, a country struggling to pinpoint an identity, quite often falls into the trap of placing a lot of this responsibility onto its sporting heroes. Barely over 200 years old, we are not blessed with a rich history which defines our lives as Australians. It also does not help that premierships and great sporting acts are held as symbolic of our nation. With this emphasis placed on sport, it is only natural that an unfair amount of pressure is placed upon the players. Who are these people really? A select few who were blessed with an above-average athletic ability, with the work ethic to turn their dream into a reality. None of them aspire to being on a poster in a young child’s room, idolized as the youngster grows up. No, their goals are much more selfish. It’s a career, a hefty wage, and becoming a minor celebrity. I mean all of this in the nicest way possible, if any of us were offered to be overpaid to do something we enjoy, you would probably take it. No, sports people are simply cashing in on the God-given talent which they have been blessed with. 56

We are now going to borrow from a lesson which Spiderman took two sequels to learn: ‘With great power, comes great responsibility’. In his movies we watched as our hero came to grips with the notion of sacrifice and celebrity. The same should be applied to our current batch of sporting stars. Now, we are not asking these men or women to risk their lives and save innocent bystanders. No, their role is a whole lot simpler, and yet many still manage to fall short of the mark. All we require, is that they are able to keep their noses clean and occasionally give back to the community which they owe their careers to. Many sporting stars do beneficial work within the community, but sometimes there are those who ruin this mentality. The media must take a lot of the blame for this. They are more inclined to report on Brendan Fevola urinating on a police station’s window than the children he has visited in hospital the day before. They want to tell the story of Lance Franklin threatening a female over the work he has done with indigenous youth. But these stories would not be possible without these ‘idols’

performing badly. If they want to live like rock stars, they have to expect the scrutiny which comes with the lifestyle. It also does not take a rocket scientist to work out that numerous children worship the ground these men walk on. You only need to go to a football match and watch the little ones show up with their hero’s sporting number stitched to the back of their jumper. What must these young children think when the same superstar they watched on the weekend steer their side to victory, is on the six o’clock news appearing in court? How could they be expected to draw a comparison between these two seemingly different characters? Unfortunately, these ‘super men’ have no Clark Kent disguise they can hide behind. The solution and responsibility lies in two parts. Firstly these sports stars need to be taught how to handle themselves in the public spotlight. Poor behavior in the position which they find themselves is unacceptable and should result in much harsher consequences than which currently exist. It seems we cannot go a week without a

sportsmen behaving badly. The second half lies with the media and who we allow our children to idolize. More recognition needs to be placed on the work of those such as Shane Crawford and the good which he has been able to make of his celebrity status. At the end of the day, these people are just your local sport stars on a much grander stage. They are not exceptional beings, yet this pressure is perhaps unfairly thrust upon them. But whilst they won’t take a backwards step in claiming the benefits, they owe a lot more to the community which holds them in this light.

> Mitchell Pascoe 57

Cheeky Chapter

Bigfoot His car pulled up outside men’s gallery, where my mates and I were standing. He asked if we had seen a tall, dark dude with an awkward limp. We hadn’t seen limp boy. And by the sounds of that description, he’s not the kind of stranger that I would have chats with at 2am outside a strip joint. A few more sentences were slurred between he and I, before I had made a quick judgment by his car and dress sense that it was safe to hand over my digits. Whilst I was bending over with my head hanging in his window, we did the deed and traded numbers. To be honest, it wouldn’t have looked so great from a third party perspective outside a strip club. Nevertheless, I had scored myself a date. We spent a few days chatting, before I was on my way to his brand new apartment for some of his ‘worlds best stir fry.’ My brothers weren’t so keen on the whole going to a stranger’s apartment, but he seemed safe. I rocked up to a high-rise apartment opposite Albert Park. I was immediately impressed. I rang the doorbell and entered the building. This was the last time that I kissed my first date ignorance good-bye.

crate for a chair, I couldn’t help but notice all the emptiness. Bigfoot offered me a tumbler of wine and apologised for his limited everything (as he had recently moved in). I began questioning why the hell we didn’t go out for dinner. Weird. As I perched myself up on the kitchen bench, dinner was being prepared. DINNER: Chicken and Vegetable Stir-fry Bigfoot pulled a packet of two-minute noodles out of the cupboard, unwrapped them and placed them in hot water. He then threw some frozen vegetables into a pan and began cutting up some chicken. While I was trying to put my eyeballs back into their sockets with disbelief, he goes ‘ told you that I would make the best stir-fry.’ I don’t know what part of stir-fry he thought he was good at, however I was hoping that it was the fry the chicken part. I preferred for Salmonella not to be on the cards, thanks.

Once Jamie Oliver II was done in the kitchen, our meals were complete. He escorted me to my milk crate. His door opened and I was greeted by a belly ‘Dinner is served!’ He said. The noodles button. This dude was huge. He was just too were clay, my chicken was still moving and God damn tall for me to look up! He looked my carrots looked like dehydrated penises. like a fish-horse. Separated eyes and gooey lips. Fortunately, I had an excuse not to stare He offered me another tumbler of wine. ‘Fill at his obscure facial features. it to the top. It’s a great drop!’ I said. For the As I wandered into his “humble” abode, of first time ever, I lived and breathed white what entailed a portable table and a milk 58

As I sat there pushing the morsels around my paper plate, he discussed his creepily intense love for his mum, how much money he has and his 10-year plan. To be honest, I was too busy staring at the bit of coriander between his wide set eyes. This went on for about 45 minutes, before he asked whether I was ready for dessert. DESSERT: Crepes with Strawberries Jamie Oliver II was at it again. I sat, sculling my tumbler, hoping that the alcohol had defeated the parasites in my alive chicken. ‘And your dessert, my favourite,’ he said, whilst handing me a plate of strawberries with the green bits still attached. They were placed on top of some sort of rubbery, round thing. I assumed that was the crepe. Thank goodness Bigfoot was too immersed in his own conversation, that he failed to realise that I was actually feeding my handbag the rubbery round thing. By 8pm, I was drunk, hungry and bored. He took my plate to the kitchen and as I began to wrap the night up, he interrupted me and said, ‘I would love to show you around my apartment.’ I’m not sure whether that was a joke. It was the size of an apartment for ants. Before I could respond, I was lifted up off the ground and my back was pressed up against the wall. Bigfoot and I were suddenly in an intense game of tonsil hockey, however this time it was more like tonsil boxing and my throat was defending for dear life. I pushed him off, asking for the toilet. I needed to get the fuck out of the place. While I was in the toilet, I was trying to work out ways in which

I could make the great escape. There was no way out. I walked back out and the ground began to tremor. He was coming. I was cornered, with my tail between my legs. My feet lifted off the ground, I was over his shoulders and heading to his black hole of death. As I kissed my innocence goodbye, I was thrown onto the bed. He proceeded to mount me, grinding my body into the mattress. For the love of God, I was hoping that the mattress would just swallow me whole. I pushed his face off mine and told him, ‘I need to go home, I have work tomorrow.’ Bigfoot asked, ‘Where do you work?’ As I began chatting about my job, he laid there working out equations. ‘So, if you make $20 and hour and you’re working 8 hours tomorrow, that’s $160.’ He stated. ‘Yes, why are you telling me that?’ I questioned. He goes… ‘I’ll give you $160 to stay the night and you won’t have to work tomorrow.’ Did creepos just try and pimp me out to himself? What the? I had just wound myself up in a sexual business proposition with a first date. My vagina was crying. He threw the cash onto the bed and went to the toilet. What sort of kinky/rapey shit was this dude into? On his return, I jumped up, but a forced resistance of heavy chunk knocked me in my path. I was down again. Face muncher had gone in for round three, this time he was trying to eat me. ‘Sorry I have to go!’ I shouted, whilst being smoth59

I stood up right and headed for the exit. He insisted on walking me out and wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I pressed the lift button and waited anxiously for those doors to open. I walked in, said goodbye, the doors closed, I turn around and HE WAS IN THE LIFT WITH ME! ‘Sarah, I just want a goodbye kiss.’ He sooked. A good-bye kiss? I had no choice. If I didn’t give creepos chunky boy that kiss, the outcome would have not been a fun time. So up I went one last time. I was mid air playing tonsil boxing. Kill me. The doors opened and I squirmed past him. As I was pacing through the foyer I yelled, ‘I’ll text you.’ ‘Are you sure that you don’t want to stay?’ he questioned.

I didn’t even respond. Catch weirdo, I’m out. I scurried back to my car and to top off encounters of Bigfoot, I had an $88 parking ticket. Note to self and everyone else: Don’t date creeps. And don’t accept first date invitations for homecooked meals from someone that you have met outside a strip club. Simple. It’s pretty straightforward stuff really. Unless you’re as ignorant as I was. By the way – I don’t ever think he was waiting for a mate that night. I wonder if his mates name was James? > Sarah Long

61 > Tom Morphett

five

blaire. EDITORIAL Emily Eaton Editor Sarah Long Creative Director CONTRIBUTORS Dave Lee Entertainment Spencer Hadlow Life Gemma Davies Life Tom Bensley Entertainment Ronan McDonnell Music Perrie Kapernaros Music Lisa Matlin Music Benny Thompson Music Tory Price Fashion David Meadows Fashion Nic Barker Entertainment Mitchell Pascoe Sport Photography Tom Morphett

Blaire Magazine is an Australian-based interactive publication dedicated to the arts and entertainment. Launched in 2012 as a blog project, Blaireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s initial success raised big interview and press opportunities, allowing for a relaunch in May 2013.

www.blairemagazine.com enquiries@blairemagazine.com ABN: 62359130068 62