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CONTENTS 6. Tinder 10. RÜFÜS 14. Music reviews 16. Rainy Day Women 20. Street art 24. Alex Osborne 32. Gen Y 34. Fashion 36. Shannaya photography 42. Leonardo DiCaprio 46. Film reviews 48. The girl in the red slippers 52. Burka Avenger 54. Courage and concussion 56. The death penalty 58. Egypt 62. Animal testing 64. OCD Boy

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Tinder ‘E

mma and I were double-dicking.’ Ally said.

‘You what?’ I questioned.

‘Oh you know, we were sharing the same dudes that we met on Tinder.’

‘No I don’t know. Sharing?’ I replied.

‘Yeah, sharing as in having sex with the same guy, but at different times.’ She stated.

While I was trying to process what had just been said, her phone vibrated. It was alerting her that she had a new Tinder match.

She then proceeded to explain that there were loads of cute guys up for offer and that it’s an opportunity not to be missed. I wasn’t sure what she meant by opportunity. Like opportunities for her vagina? Whatever it was, she got me thinking.

Is there seriously an app out there that helps people get laid?

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That night, I did the cheeky and downloaded Tinder. I needed to know what all the hype was about.

Now, for all of you who are unfamiliar with the word Tinder – it’s an addictive flirting/dating/ hookup app. The first step in using it is to sign in with your Facebook ID, which gives Tinder your name, age, photos, and sexual orientation.

There is no second step. You’re immediately shown the face of a person of your preferred sex, and, again, there’s only one thing to do: swipe right if you like what you see, swipe left if you don’t.

Another face instantly appears for appraisal, and then another. It’s kind of like a hot-or-not game.

The benefit? These contenders are in a close radius of you, making it easier to catch up!

So, I randomly picked three men and started a conversation with them. All of them were of

‘ Is there seriously an app out there that helps people get laid? ’ different age and area. I then put them to the test.

Why do you use Tinder?

Victim 1. Mark, 20 years-old: ‘I got it the other day. I can’t really see the harm in trying it.’

Victim 2. John, 26 years-old: ‘All my mates have it. We use it for a bit of a laugh to see whether we can get some.’

Victim 3. Simon, 23 years-old: ‘I do it to kill time when I’m bored. I have been on a couple of dates. Hey, you’re cute.’

As I got chatting with all three of them, I informed them that I was writing an article about Tinder and they were my participants. However they all had the impression that I was using it as an excuse to find out whether they were players. Idiots.

Either way, I got the results that I wanted.

After a two-day conversation with John, he finally bit the bullet and confessed that he had been dreaming about doing me in all sorts of interesting positions.

Result: He was blocked. Case closed for victim 2.

It took only one day for Simon to request kinky photos. However kudos to him, he did ask me out for a drink.

Result: I reinforced what I had said above about

him being my participant, which he laughed and still didn’t believe me, then continued to ask for photos. We have not spoken since. Case closed for victim 3.

Mark was the real charmer out of the bunch. He initially told me that he was going to win me over, so I didn’t think it would take long for him to fold.

However as we got chatting, he went to all lengths to prove his worthiness (even told me he wasn’t a player). He finally crumbled when he sent me a text saying ‘I wish I could have my way with you.’

Result: I called him a creep and blocked him. Case closed for victim 1.

The conversations all started out pretty innocently, which I was surprised about. Maybe this was their tactic to lure me in? They all evidently ended up wanting the same thing: sex.

Now don’t get me wrong, the concept of this dating app is brilliant. It’s user friendly and it alleviates the stale stigma of online dating. However, if this is a dating app, then why are people solely using it to get some action between the sheets?

Maybe they should have called Tinder ‘One Night Stand.’

But how many girls honestly think that Tinder will result in a boyfriend? I asked a couple of my friends whether they would use it for that reason.

They said that they had heard of friends who had used it and wound themselves up on dates with cute boys. Did the dates lead to anything? No.

So I asked Ally why she was using Tinder.

She explained that she was bored and wanted to see whether she could find herself a nice boy through the app. She told me that she met a lot > 7

of nice boys, however they all wanted one thing.

That was to get their willies wet. She was hesitant at first, but thought ‘YOLO’ and decided to join this sex fest club.

What I couldn’t quite grasp was the fact that she was boasting about her double-dicking action, like she was one of the boys. Since when was this sort of behaviour acceptable? And let me tell you, she’s not the only girl doing it.

Now I understand that social media has now integrated into our everyday life and that Tinder has intelligently used Facebook to highlight that it’s socially acceptable to use. However, since when did it become okay for a woman to start acting like a slut?

For all the feminists out there – don’t worry, I am one of you. However, I will not stand by these women that choose to act like men for the pure sake of empowerment.

Women have long for fought for equality and even though I know that it may never happen, we have been so god damn close up until recent years.

Long ago the motto stood still, ‘women should be seen and not heard.’ Since then, women have used the power of their sexuality to finally be heard.

Nowadays, women are just over-using their sexuality because they think its cool.

FYI – it’s not cool.

I’m sick of dumb women using tools such as Tinder as an excuse to be sluts. Tinder, a male creation, has built

‘ I’m sick of dumb women using tools such as Tinder as an excuse to be sluts. ’ a perception that looks are the forefront of everything. So inevitably, women over-sexualise themselves in order to fight for the attention of men. I should remind you that the attention isn’t even worth fighting for. Not only that, we’re presenting ourselves on tinder wearing provocative clothing, trying to look hot. This reverts us back to being seen and not heard. It is pushing our sex down more and more.

We are feeding into a man’s world by allowing Tinder to integrate into our lives. It is the perfect opportunity for women to become objectified, belittled and it reinforces men as the controllers.

This is not empowering women in the slightest.

Why are women now subjecting themselves to these egotistical arrogant men? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that some of the men don’t necessarily fulfill those traits, but I’m talking about 8

the ones who are on there are having a great time, while you move their photo to the right and stroke their ego.

I asked a male friend whether he or any of his mates that use Tinder would actually fall into a relationship with a girl who uses the app. His response? ‘A lot of the boys flick through the photos commenting on the girls that they already know, saying that they’re sluts. So it just goes to show what sort of girls use it.’

Look, I know that Tinder is just used for a bit of a laugh and is not designed for people to find their sole-mate, but if any girl is happy to perceive themselves as an easily accessible giant whore, then go right ahead! Because I can assure you, there are some big sleazebags waiting.

I’m not excusing the male race, however they’re biologically and socially created this way. We live in a man’s world where double standards will continuously exist and we will always be the inferior race.

Tinder is hindering us and hurting us. Its not about

equality, its about the fact that men have ruled us for years. And we are now feeding into it. Why don’t we lead by example and start by having some self-respect.

The stupidity of Tinder could potentially lead you to dangerous situations. You’re meeting with a perfect stranger, which is a recipe for disaster. This is a candy store for predators. Many rapists could be sitting back and thinking, ‘this is the best thing in the world’.

It’s seriously time for us to pull our heads in and start acting like a lady, if we want to be treated

like one. We need to use our intelligence, rather than subjecting ourselves to something that is based on looks.

Take a good hard look at the situation, before delving into something that could quite literally chew you up and spit you back out.

Until then, keep those legs shut!

> Sarah Long

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RÜFÜS

If you’re yet to experience these young lads, then make sure you get your hands on their new album Atlas. Their indie-electro sounds will have you bopping in your car while crusing around.

They are a must-have for your summer playlist.

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ongratulations on recently landing a stint as Triple J’s feature record. How does it feel to be so highly recognised by, arguably, the face of Australian music?

Pretty amazing really. We’re doing something we love, and we’ve been working really hard for the last few years on our productions and on our live show. All the support and attention we’ve been receiving lately has been really validating and meaningful and just generally really cool.

Every band takes a little inspiration from somewhere, sometimes musical, sometimes not.

Where do you guys feel your biggest influences lie?

Subterranean bass lines, underwater snorkelling expeditions, and nighttime techno adventures.

You guys have a very eclectic sound, incorporating elements of indie, pop, dance and electro as well as integrating a lot of live instrumentation, how do you manage to cram so much in?

I guess the sound just comes naturally. When we write we’re absorbing all the kinds of music we’re loving and finding really inspiring at the time. So we could be taking cues from Claude Vonstroke’s bass work, or referencing the guitar sounds of indie acts like Foals or Toro Y Moi, and it ends up just mashing together in this kind of hybrid thing that we’re happy with.

With that in mind, what’s your writing process like?

We just go with whatever we’re being inspired by at the time. Sometimes we’ll work in ‘shifts’, so someone will have a go at something they’re really feeling, like a bass sound, or a particular melody or percussive groove. Then we’ll rotate to keep it fresh or someone else will jump on if they’re vibing on something.

You guys have spent a bit of time in the European festival circuit, is there a standout show or festival for you?

We travelled to Moscow about a month ago and played this festival called Martini Artlove. There was a pretty cool vibe about it, and the little LED light installations and attention to detail for the decor was pretty crazy. The crowd responded really well to the set and we loved it. 10/10 would return.

My favourite thing about travelling is undoubtedly the food, I love being able to come back and tell my buddies about the secret eating hole I found somewhere. Is there a secret RÜFÜS dining spot somewhere in the world that makes shit-hot grub?

There’s this little bagel joint in New York around the corner from where we stayed when we were playing there last year. They have arguably the best cream cheese and salmon bagels I’ve ever tasted.

So indulgent and so good.

Is there more to the name RÜFÜS than meets the eye? Does the Euro lettering have any significance?

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We really like the idea of taking our listeners to a foreign place, somewhere strange, exotic or otherworldly. It’s always been a kind of theme for our music and us, and we really tried to embody that on the album. I guess the umlauts or the ‘euro lettering’ is just another means of setting an atmosphere and a mood when people listen to our music.

Do you guys have any collective hobbies outside of music?

Snorkelling, playing Mario Party, and watching Seinfeld (this is a hobby we are professionals at).

Playing music for a living really is a dream job, what’s the best bit about it?

Travelling is a pretty amazing perk, especially overseas touring and all that. It’s an amazing way to see the world.

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And the worst?

Hangovers and cabin fever.

When you guys were kids, did you always have music in mind as a career or were there other plans for the mini RÜFITES? I think all of us have always loved music and have at some point dreamed of this kind of career… I know I definitely found myself daydreaming alot when I was younger about selling out stadium shows and playing in front of huge audiences.

Some of these dreams are yet to be realised. ;) Any advice for budding musos?

Stick to what you love and don’t try to write for anyone else. Develop your taste and push yourself creatively.

You guys have had a stellar year so far, and I’m sure there’s heaps more good stuff to come, so what’s on the horizon for RÜFÜS?

Bill Murray, GZA, RZA, Nick Cave, and Pete Doherty.

What would we find in your fridge right now?

We’ve got the Atlas tour coming up which is shaping up to be the biggest run of shows we’ve done yet. There’s been an amazing response to the album and we’re bringing a bunch of people together and playing the new material to them.

Tuna, mayo and chilli.

Okay, now for some fun stuff. Out of any band dead or alive, whom would you love to play with?

If you were an inanimate object, what would you be?

A pyramid.

The Chemical Brothers You have five people to invite for a dinner party, who would they be?

> Benny Thompson

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Music Grouplove Spreading Rumors After releasing their debut album Never trust a happy song in 2011, Grouplove have come out with a banging second album Spreading Rumours. And the rumours that were spread about this cheeky number is that it has been absolutely kick-arse!

What an incredible album. If you’re yet to be acquainted with this band yet, well let me introduce you to a special kind of indie escapism reserved for only the catchiest songs. Their happy go-lightly tunes get you pumped for summer. Whenever I hear grouplove, I just want to dance.

The songs to look out for are ‘Borderlines and Aliens’ and ‘Shark attack’ and ‘Raspberry’. Thank you Grouplove for making the perfect summer album!

Lorde Pure Heroine This 16 year-old is an absolute superstar! After the release of her The Love Club EP and ‘Tennis Court’ single, she has burst out with some originality in a pop landscape full of mindless hooks and dubstep anthems. All her songs operate within a perfect balance of coolness and warmth, and the beats are ghostly, sparse, and robotic next to bubbly, smooth, inviting vocals. With her huge initial success, she wound up with the opportunity of playing at Splendour in the Grass and boy did she pick up a fan base.

Working with producer and co-writer Joel Little, this is a stunning and emotive record for an artist overflowing with depth for her age.

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Arctic Monkeys AM Arctic Monkeys fifth album is absolutely and unarguable the most insane album of their career. This band does things to me. Every time they release a new album, it out does the last and yet, they have not reached their peak. Still fine tuning their way to the top, by experimenting with sounds, this band will not reminisce on their current album AM as being their career high, but a time that they were no longer defined by a genre. Instead, they have become artists. And they’re doing an incredible job at that to.

Alex Turner’s voice is sex on legs. He makes me melt. ‘Why’d you only call me when you’re high’, is possibly the best tune on the album, followed by ‘Do I wanna know’ and ‘Arabella’. There you have it! Arctic Monkeys aka. sex on legs.

RÜFÜS Atlas Ah I love these guys! They never disappoint. If you’re dying to hear electro/indie/pop/dance music then these boys are it! They have this crazy ability of creating chill music that you can actually bop around to. These boys have not been on the scene for very long, however have progressed their way up the charts at a rapid pace. And who could blame them, with a cute lead singer who has the most breathtaking voice. They’re a live must see!

Their third album ‘Atlas’ has blown our socks off.

They have stolen the euphoric sounds from their first album and rock beats from their second and managed to incorporate the two. > Sarah Long 15

RAINY DAY WOMEN

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Blaire magazine is absolutely loving the unique tunes coming from these Fremantle boys. Their classic pop beats have you head banging in your car, whilst cruising along the coast! If you’re a big fan of The Beatles and The Beach Boys, then get ready to immerse yourselves back in time. We chatted to frontman Dylan Ollivierre.

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ow did you get your band name?

Thank you! The bulk of the song came together pretty quickly really, but we spent a bit of time tweaking it and it underwent a few little changes – nothing drastic though. Unfortunately the ‘friend’ is a family member, so I’m bound by blood to live out the ongoing saga.

It’s a Bob Dylan song, off his Blonde On Blonde album. I thought it’d be a cool name for a band of guys that generally don’t make rainy music.

Serious band names are really hard, they just never work for me.

How’s the tour preparation going? Have you made any new pals?

What music inspired all of you to become musicians?

We’re just in the stages of rehearsing and getting it all together to tour. We leave in a couple of weeks.

Initially it was the glamour. I wanted to be like We’ve just got a new drummer so hopefully we Slash and stand on a piano and do a big solo or make pals with him. on the top of a mountain. Tom – probably to get chicks. Ross – probably to get chicks.

Your EP Friends scored you some pretty mint gigs at big festivals. Did you get to meet any of Do you feel as though the bands of today are as your idols? Which festival was the standout to good as those of the past? perform at?

As players: generally speaking, no. Computers allow lots of editing that in the past would have had to be made up for by great players. As writers: it depends what you’re into. Personally I think the whole purpose of music has become a little distorted. It’s to be enjoyed right? Not be criticized.

That’s my take anyway.

We met Dallas Green – that was probably the highlight. I walked past Coolio… little did he know that when I was six years-old ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ was my favourite song. It was pretty weird at first becoming friends with Aussie bands that we look up to. And my favourite festival was probably Southbound.

Well done on your new single Ain’t It Time. We heard that it was inspired by an argument that you had with a friend. How long did you need to vent for, to perfect the song? And have you guys made up?

What’s on for the rest of 2013? Any New Year’s plans?

We’ll come back from tour and then we’ve got a few more shows on and we’ll be trying to finish > 17

our debut album so we can release it next year. No plans for NYE just yet.

What do you most look forward to about being famous?

Someone said that bands can get clothing endorsements easily. That’d be cool. I hate buying clothes.

For all the Blaire Magazine readers, are the rest of you single and ready to mingle?

Me, no. Ross, no. Tom, Jay and Brett, a big YES!

Where is the mot random place you have woken up?

If you were an inanimate object, what would you be?

Under my bed.

A bottle of Sailor Jerrys.

You boys are a good-looking bunch. Do the good looks and being musicians get you into a bit of trouble with the women?

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Thank you. Depends what you mean by trouble though. I’ve got a girlfriend so I’m well behaved but I can’t speak for the rest of my band haha.

> Sarah Long

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STREET ART W

hen you walk through the city of Melbourne it can sometimes be easy to forget that you’re walking through an ever-changing art museum. It would be almost impossible to walk down any street or laneway in the CBD and not come across some form of spray paint, stencil or sculpture. Some of us call it ‘street art’ and some of us call it ‘vandalism’ – this is where the contentious issue begins.

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It is always best to make the distinction between street art and graffiti. From where I, sit graffiti is opportunistic – the people who do it quickly. They get in, damage something and then quickly get out again with very little thought or planning. These kinds of displays can be found in every suburb.

The small one-spray tags on your neighbour’s fence, or the nail scratches on the window that you see on your train every morning. The perpetrators enjoy the destruction, they like to smash windows and ruin your new fence in the early hours of the morning.

Street art, on the other hand, has a purpose. It is designed with a message in mind, and usually is location specific; something that helps to distinguish it from the plethora of graffiti found in our city. Usually street art will make a comment on society or art. This is easily seen in the works of Banksy, one of the most prominent street artists, who has created several different pieces in Melbourne.

Photography: Tom Morphett

The benefit of street art is that it’s free to view. For decades, fine art could only be found in galleries.

Most times we’ve have to dig into our pockets and pay to see the artworks that had been approved by a curator who decided what was worthy of exhibiting and what wasn’t. The street art movement has made art more and more accessible to people of all different walks of life. You no longer needed money or an understanding of art to be able to appreciate it. As well as being easily accessible, street art allows anybody who is passionate enough to be an artist. Anybody can buy a piece of chalk, or a can of spray paint and leave a message for the world around them. These are some of the most important things about street art. It can’t be regulated, controlled or taught like

more traditional forms of art. It is art for everybody to enjoy.

Some people however, argue against the rise in street art. They call it vandalism and damage to public property and to an extent this can be seen as true. In most cases in Melbourne, the police could arrest you if they caught you creating your latest masterpiece. This creates a strange contradiction because while some members of the government are trying to clamp down on street art other corners such as Heritage Victoria are actively trying to assess and protect artworks that are culturally significant. The government can’t really seem to make up their mind.

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There is money to be made though, in street art.

There are several different walking tours that you can take in the city where a guide will take you to all the best locations and artworks that Melbourne has to offer. Some street artists have gained enough prominence that they’ve been able to exhibit and sell their original pieces or prints to people that want a little bit of the street in their own home. As well as that, you can see buskers every day around the city decorating the pavement with their unique pieces and murals; asking for nothing more than a simple coin donation. The drawback of street art

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though is that is most cases it can only be temporary – paint fades, paper rips and chalk washes away. So next time you’re wandering around the alleyways of Melbourne, searching for a new café to eat at, take a few seconds to appreciate all the art that surrounds you and remember that you’re walking through a living and breathing exhibition.

> Spencer Hadlow

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A lex Osbo

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rne

What hasn’t this Aussie lad experienced whilst travelling through the states?

Luckily for us, he jotted it all down, and the result is a book of short stories, full of laughs and the controversial topics of American life. We chatted with Alex about his world, and how he offended just about everyone along the way.

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o Alex, you were born and raised in Australia, however moved to the USA. When did all this happen and why?

You created an entertainment page for your College. How did that come about? I heard that it created a bit of a stir.

Yeah I moved over in 2008. I first went to America in 2006 to play basketball with my high school team, and from that myself and six other friends scored college offers to play. I finally picked one up in 2008 and shipped on over. It was great!

Free education! I have come back with a degree and haven’t had to pay for any of it.

So I was working as a Sports Editor for The Wayne State College. I used to see some of the athletes and I would ask if they had seen their picture on the front page and they would question me as to what newspaper that I was talking about. So they had never heard of it. Although I was getting paid, it took hours. For school, I had to come up with a couple of honours assignments. I told the college to give me my own page so that I could make the college population pick this up in the morning.

They were willing enough to give me my own page. I made it open for submissions. After a year, people were picking it up and reading it.

So, are you still playing basketball?

Nah I haven’t played since 2011. I got sick and tired of waking up at 6am, then midday lifting, to training at 4 o’clock. Then somehow doing homework and working to pay rent.

What happened in America that made you decide to pursue journalism?

I started off at a community college, and I was there for about two years. After then, you have to transfer elsewhere. There were all the basketball scholarships I had been offered, but they to cost me to play. A couple of schools then noticed some articles that I had written for my last school and they offered for me to come there and they would pay me to write! It was fantastic. I changed towns and everything to write and wash dishes.

So how did it create a stir?

Well because there was no real sensor on who was reading the magazine, there was an older population reading my submissions. There was a strict Christian population who found my work quite offensive.

Did you progress as a writer through the opportunity given to you by the College?

I used to write a lot of poetry. (Laughs) That was my main dating tactic actually. I didn’t really tell anyone about it. When I arrived in America, there 25

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were a lot of different writing groups. So I started sharing my work with poetry-writing groups. From there, we did these things called ‘Gypsy Freak Shows’ which were run by the company who published my book. And from that, it encouraged me to get out there are share my work, which I had never done before, and that encouraged me to write a lot better. People are going to read it whether you like it or not, you just have to do a good job!

What did you learn from it? And are there any cool memories you have from that experience?

Tell us a bit about your time as an Sports Editor?

Wait, so she kicked you out?

That was good, being a Sports Editor. I didn’t actually have anything to write, I was just being an editor. I had a girl writing on the rugby for me and she was doing a horrible job. She actually got the scores wrong four weeks in a row. So I had to fire her, by giving her netball. I got to watch rugby on a Saturday by doing this.

Yeah, it’s a bit of a cool memory now. It used to be a sore one. It turned out that I had to hand in the manuscript to Only in America the next day, and when I did, I was told that I was looking a little worse for wear. I told my publisher what had happened and he thought I meant that I went out and had a large night. Once he realised, he gave me a room at his house.

Heaps of cool memories. I learnt a lot. I went out and changed countries on my own. You just have to make it work. I actually got engaged over there and so that was an interesting experience! We were engaged for one year. We got caught up in the honeymoon period. So when you sleep out in the snow with all your possessions, you age quickly.

Describe the book in five words or less.

Its fun. Its not meant to be taken seriously. Its controversial, satirical, fun, and yeah!

Why did you decide to use collections of your own work that was too controversial to publish at your College?

It all sort of happened, because I would submit For everyone who has not yet read Only in Amer- a column to the Opinion Editor of the page and ica, can you explain what it’s about? she had a few problems with some of them. Our Editor-in-Chief had a problem with them, so I It’s short stories. I think the longest is about three took them to Gypsy Freak Shows and read them pages long. It’s quick, to the point, and touches on out there and they loved them and laughed. These all bases of American life; from their food, footwere some of my better stories and unfortunately ball, religion, crazy holidays, tipping culture, just a they weren’t getting published. A lot of them were bit of everything. Whatever was present that week, religion based.

I would write about it.

I gave the book to my cousin and he loved Were you nervous about the response after the short stories. He described it as a toilet book. releasing these columns?

But I don’t know if people want to be staring at my face in the toilet I was back home and away from it. So I was excited. I wanted it to start popping up around the > 27

campus! I was super pumped to be away from it.

People would have been like, ‘he’s finally gone’.

What sort of response have you received?

Journalists actually snubbed me and turned their nose up at me! They had already read my short stories and had an opinion about me before they even got to know me! However, there was mostly a positive response throughout my friendship groups.

So did you try and convince any Americans of what Australia is like?

Yeah actually, when I was over there on tour with the high school team, I met this cheerleader and started talking to her. It was that movie kind of feel, like, ‘oh yeah I want to kiss a cheerleader’. She was really annoying though, so I decided to mess with her.

I told her that I ride kangaroos and that I actually rode one to the venue and that it was out the front. I told her that I couldn’t find anywhere to tie it up outside, so it may have gone walkabouts. So we went outside the gym to find it and obviously it wasn’t there. She was real upset.

She then proceeded to explain to me what a car was. I pretended to not know what she was talking about. At that point I started laughing and told her that she was an idiot.

If you were going to try and sell me this book, what quote would you use?

I used the quote on the back of the book: ‘Less than 5% of people will find it funny, and or interesting.’ It came from one girl who posted a lot of hate statuses about me. I tried to Facebook her to say ‘thanks!’ She was giving me free exposure and publicity. So I used that quote to sell it. It sets the tone of the book.

Tell me about the most crazy/scary experience that you encountered whilst living in America?

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Many crazy stories. America is exactly how you see it in the movies. I went to this party with kids from the rough area and one of them pulled a gun on all of us. I had no idea what to do, but that’s when everyone just left the party. I actually played in a basketball tournament, and I was playing against a guy and giving him a hard time by blocking his shots. He pulled out a little gun and popped a cap in my leg. I heard the pop, my ears were ringing and then there was blood. He did the Chopper Reed on me and took me to hospital. I guilted him pretty hard, but we had a few beers afterwards.

What do you love about America that Australia does not have?

The guns. If you can be responsible with a gun, it’s a beautiful thing. We used to shoot beer cans at my mates farmhouse. There was just something about it. If you give someone something, you can’t take that away from them. They would be super pissed.

They’re gun happy. 95% of them are responsible, its 5% that aren’t, which is unfortunate.

As a writer, where do you see yourself in five years?

I’d love to get a novel published. I have been working on one for a while. I started off with short stories and I’m in the process of making it a novel, rather than short stories. I’m trying to tie them all up. I like to write what happened from experience.

That’s the idea. I’d love to get something else published! I don’t want to be a one-hit wonder. I write a lot on a typewriter, so it gives me the opportunity not to be distracted.

> Sarah Long

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Only In America is avaiable at pseudoposeur.com 31

GEN-Y

The lost generation?

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s Gen-Y the lost generation? Times are a changing, that’s for sure, but just as we have adapted to life after Harry Potter, I’m pretty confident that we can fall on our feet (unless, of course, you’re out there, somewhere, swinging naked on a wreaking ball). In regards to career success, we’ve grown up being told it’s all about hard work and ‘getting an education’, but yet, once all you’ve got your certificate of whatever, in this climate, it kind of feels like your chances of winning TattsLotto are greater than finding a graduate position in your industry.

Does this make us completely lost basket cases? Of course not! But it does lead us to question ourselves, again, and again, about if our HECS or VET debt was really worth it. Nowadays being educated is pretty much a requirement of any job. You need at least a certificate or three, or a bachelor in something, to get wherever you want to go and depending on your industry, this is a minimum entry requirement. Getting that foot in the door isn’t just about your education though, oh no, it’s about networking and more than that; it’s the dreaded “experience”.

I hate that word sometimes, I really do. It’s a killer and it’s on almost very job advertisement I’ve ever seen. The question about having the qualifications then becomes a bit superfluous, with the focus about everything else you have (or really, haven’t) done whilst trying to do assignments/ exams/folios/thesis’ for the past three years. It all comes back to expectation and it’s a problem that faces our generation like no other. We’re more likely to get “lost” than any other generation before, because we face our (and everyone else’s) expectations under near constant media scrutiny.

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Now, of course not all of us have a queue of paparazzi lining up outside our front door every morning, but we have Facebook and Instagram.

It’s the new, technological media and it’s eating up our lives. The more we feed it, the more it wants.

That job rejection? It sucks, it really does, but with the social media compulsion to update and status everything, good luck being able to just forget about it.

It just hurts so much when even more well-intentioned people then tell you that it’s fine, that you’re awesome and one day you’ll find that job. Logically, you know they’re right, because you are. But after 30-plus job rejections? Bring on the moody and depressive lighting and a glass of something strong.

The current economic climate and increasing casualization of the workforce doesn’t really give much hope for the immediate future. So it means for many of us, that we take and do whatever we can get. We do more study, we freelance, we live in hope of one day getting a desk to call our own; the fact is, we just can’t really afford to be fussy.

It’s bound to pay off though, just not right now and of course like generations before we can blame our parents (well, kind of). There’s good news on the horizon though – as the baby boomers gradually retire, a gap will open that’s ours to claim… it’s estimated that by 2020 (only 8 years!) us Gen Y’s will compromise of 40% of the workforce, so it’s just a matter of holding out.

The fact is, each generation has it own set of struggles to face and it just seems like this is ours.

We’re not lost… we’re unique, we’re adaptable, we are the technology generation (and we’re not afraid to use it!). > Ella Clarke-Schwarz

33 > Tom Morphett

r e b o t c O Fashion There is definitely something in the air at the moment. I don’t know if it’s the sunshine, the longer days or the flurry of festival announcements, but spring has undeniably sprung. Spring is the perfect time to be trying new things and start reinventing yourself. I don’t know how much help I’ll be with learning to surf or finishing Anna Karenina, but I can suss out exactly what you will be wearing in October.

Pastelicious

Your wardrobe is about to get an edible update in delicious ice cream colours like fresh mint, strawberry sorbet and banana split. Prepare yourself for an invasion of this soft colour palette in all shapes and sizes. If you prefer a more subtle approach to dressing then opt for pretty clutches or nails in a lilac, peach or watermelon to help you spice it up without feeling like a gelato.

However, if like me, you like to take colour to the extreme then deck yourself out top to toe in your favourite hue. All I can say is yummy!

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You might want to do some situps.

Girls, it is time to get those abs out! Tops are getting chopped and cropped in a fabulous way. I’m not going to sugar coat it.

You need to be crunching hardcore at the gym for this one, but I promise it will be worth it! It is going to be a smorgasbord of choice between girly florals, studded edgy options or fresh white versions. From textured to sheer to embellished, you can have anything you could ever imagine.

To balance the tummy flashing you need to pair your crop top with a high-waisted bottom like a cute skater skirt or denim short. You only want to show off a little bit of skin.

Pretending you are a cat...

No way jose.

When I started seeing cat ears on headbands and hats I was hoping that it wasn’t serious.

Then when the sunnies wearing cat tees came along I realised that it was. I’m just going to drop a bombshell on you. Cats are pets. We can feed them, love them and share pictures of them online that no one cares about. We just don’t need to look like them.

> Tory Price 35

shannaya PHOTOGRAPHY I’m a photographer based in Melbourne who has an immense love for natural light. I currently work as a wedding and family photographer. I love photographing people. My passion lies in creating beautiful, raw, true and natural imagery for my clients. I take inspiration from the sun, the trees, and that beautiful feeling of being alive.

There’s never been an exact time in my life that I can pinpoint when I began taking photos.

Whether capturing images of my pets, or documenting holidays and adventures, photography has always just been there. Growing up on a property very close to forests and a creek has meant that nature has had a huge impact on the look and feel of my work.

I try to capture and show people the beauty that exists in everyday life. I try to photograph people’s emotions, and their connections with one another and the natural environment around them. http://www.shannayaphotoandvideo.com/

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Leonardo DiCaprio The Superstar of our Generation

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omething is happening to our public image.

A stupid mistake or an odd reaction can become an internet phenomenon within minutes. And this isn’t news to anyone either. We embrace this lifestyle by showcasing ourselves all over social media sites and sharing what’s on our mind as soon as we think it.

But there are more interesting ways to put this to use. We can watch our celebrities and our movie stars with microscopic precision and, given our ageless obsession with the celebrity, why wouldn’t we? Our movie stars have long been stars off the screen and this kind of coverage only grows as we do. Like the way we tell our thoughts to our friends, we now follow our favourite stars’ thoughts and track their events more closely than many of us would our relatives.

So because we’re watching them, because we always know what they’re up to, our onscreen heroes and villains take on these archetypes off screen. However we feel about it, whether we reject or ignore it, movie stars become role models for current and younger generations.

Let’s look at the biggest movie star working today, the superstar of this generation: Leonardo DiCaprio. Before moving on however, this claim needs some evidence. Bill Simmons, writer and Editor-in-Chief for Grantland.com, wrote an article called ‘The Movie Star,’ in which he proved exhaustively that Ryan Reynolds is not a movie star. He also made the claim that Will Smith is the world’s biggest movie star, and he proved this on box office numbers alone. Looking at Smith’s 42

earning numbers shows that for the past decade the films in which he has starred have, all but two, grossed over $100 million, with plenty over $200 million. He is arguably the most recognisable face in Hollywood and his consistency in starring roles is legendary. Smith has proved he can carry a film.

But bankability and recognisability are not the only factors in movie stardom. The actor’s critical record and the quality of the films in which he or she is starring are of equal importance.

What Smith’s track record proves is that he is an excellent businessman rather than a quality thespian, which is something the he has confirmed. He discovered early on in his acting career that in the top ten grossing movies, ten included special effects, nine included special effects with creatures and eight included these two things plus a love story. Smith’s body of work has only to be given a once-over to see how many times he has put this formula into action. Smith’s formula for success is surely something to be admired but the reception of the quality of his films and the versatility in his acting pale in comparison to Leonardo DiCaprio.

Whereas Will Smith’s career has been one of total solo control, DiCaprio has from a very young age worked with the giants of the movie business.

Before turning twenty he had acted alongside Robert De Niro in This Boy’s Life and with Johnny Depp in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape where he gained his first Oscar nomination. Since then, DiCaprio has worked with some of the world’s best directors including Christopher Nolan, James

Cameron, Quentin Tarantino and has a long-time partnership with Martin Scorsese. DiCaprio puts himself alongside other Hollywood giants because he believes in the project as a whole. Time and again, Will Smith’s is the only name on the posters for his films.

Smith exploded onto the scene with his impeccable formula for instant cash but DiCaprio’s fame had been a slow burn before becoming this generation’s movie star.

This year DiCaprio has teamed up with Baz Luhruman for the timeless Fitzgerald classic The Great Gatsby and with Tarantino for Django Unchained (a movie Smith turned down), whereas the other movie star has wasted time with the widely slammed M. Night Shyamalan and a pointless MIB sequel which slipped under the radar wholly unnoticed, despite its financial haul.

DiCaprio is our movie star for his reputation, his talent and his respect among his peers. He is no doubt the role model for thousands of aspiring actors. He, as well as his filmography are firmly cemented in the history of cinema. But how is he as a public figure for the aforementioned scrutiny?

Something the movie star has been scrutinised for is his bachelorhood. DiCaprio has never been married, nor had kids and has a track record of short relationships. His 38th birthday was a star-studded all-nighter and during his time here in Australia filming The Great Gatsby, he was at beach parties every chance he got and, in a 60 Minutes interview, the door to his hotel room was described as a ‘revolving door’ for every ‘pretty young thing’ in the vicinity. DiCaprio replied smiling and emulating the enigmatic Gatsby. He said, ‘You can’t believe everything you hear’.

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So without family to come back to every time he finishes shooting a film, DiCaprio probably squeezes in as much partying as he can before going back to work.

That is, when he’s not busy saving the planet. The man is a committed environmentalist whose passion for the state of Mother Earth might rival Al Gore’s. In May this year, DiCaprio hosted an auction in New York which raised $38 million selling artworks all to fund global conversation projects. Throughout the night he informed bidders of the increasing extinction of certain species.

To promote awareness of these issues he created the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation. He also narrated and co-wrote the film The 11th Hour, a documentary on the impact humans have on the environment and what can be done to prevent further damage.

So in between his busy film schedule and his environmental concerns, it appears DiCaprio would have no time for a serious relationship, but probably needs to blow off some steam every now and then. The actor would know that a family is a full-time occupation and if he is unable to balance his concerns and raise a child then wouldn’t it be better to remain a bachelor? This is perhaps something all workaholic and absent parents could take into account.

Leonardo DiCaprio’s upcoming project The Wolf of Wall Street will be released in the US in November. The film is based on Jordan Belfort’s memoir of the same name, which tells of a young man who makes millions, spends his money lavishly and whose life eventually comes crashing down after breaking the law. DiCaprio will play Belfort, a role which, typical of his career, skirts the line between hero and villain.

The film has remained relatively mysterious in what it has allowed audiences to see. We’ve been given a trailer, a poster and very little else. The trailer itself is absurd and full of exciting scenes, but the poster may be the simplest image to come out of Hollywood in recent years. It’s yellow, bears the title and Leo’s and Scorsese’s names in black, each with their academy acclaim. But with the

excitement the film has brought in, plus the Oscar buzz, it’s very clear that superstardom is at play here. The prospect of DiCaprio, Scorsese and a New York Times bestseller is enough to send audiences rushing into cinemas on opening night.

To briefly revisit Will Smith for a moment, it has been said that his reputation has to be carefully considered in the roles he picks. For instance, I Am Legend was reportedly a ‘risk’ because it showed Smith’s character strangling his pet dog before it turned on him. As Belfort, DiCaprio flicks money from his yacht like a careless litterer, sits and watches a woman prance around wearing a money suit, offers alcohol to federal agents and debates the ramifications of tossing a midget into a target for unexplained reasons. Throughout his career, he’s played a character who dragged his dead kids from the water and shot his wife; who was holed up in a room with jars of his urine lining the walls and one who screamed obscenities at his mother because she wouldn’t pay for his heroin addiction.

Still, his reputation has remained impeccable. He is an actor who disappears into his roles and lives them, despite his recognisable face. DiCaprio is a movie star because of his dedication to the movies, not the box office numbers.

If celebrity status comes with any kind of responsibility, Leonardo DiCaprio may be the movie star who best understands this. He knows how to keep his professional and personal lives as separate as he possibly can, but he also understands that as an influential figure he can promote his humanitarian and environmental concerns.

The most important thing to know about celebrity status is that it isn’t going to decrease or disappear. We need to approach it in a way that uses it to address wider concerns. It doesn’t all have to be about narcissism. Belfort’s line in The Wolf of Wall Street trailer speaks for him and for all of us: ‘We don’t want to get a bad reputation.’ > Tom Bensley

Decaprio with Scorsese

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Planes Disney

Disney has been releasing crappy straight-to-homevideo ‘cheapquels’ to their classic films for years and Planes is no exception. With cheaper budgets comes cheaper talent and inferior animation, almost resulting in a lackluster mockery of the company’s high standards of animation and storytelling.

As far as storytelling is concerned here, we’ve got what could only be described as a mash-up of both Cars films, minus the engaging plot and interesting characters that captured our love and attention.

It pains me to speak ill of my beloved Disney or to give one of their films an unfavorable review, but, even going into this film with lowered expectations, I didn’t enjoy a thing about Planes. I’m fully aware that it’s a kid’s film… but the biggest problem here is that I’m struggling to even find a reason why a child would enjoy a film this boring, bland and lacking in the imagination that makes Disney, Disney.

Kick-Ass 2 Universal Studios

Not as brilliant or as new and refreshing as the first movie but still a good fun, enjoyable action romp that keeps your attention from beginning to end. Taking place a few years after the first film, we see Dave aka. Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor Jonson) and Mindy aka Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz) joining a team of likeminded every-day people claiming to be Super-heroes, headed by the insane Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey.) Soon after, he finds himself up against a new threat as the son-of-the-bad-guy from the first film, Chris (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) decides to establish himself as the world’s first Super-villain, The Motherfucker, and puts together his own team of bad guys with the intent of taking down Kick-Ass. The film is a balls-to-the-wall action/violence/blood/swear-word infused extravaganza.

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The Wolverine

Film

20th Century Fox

Taking place, I think, sometime after X-Men: The Last Stand, which was the third installment in one of the most confusingly chronologically-ordered film franchises of all time (seriously, what order do we watch all these X-Men movies in?), The Wolverine sees Hugh Jackman’s immortal Wolverine aka. Logan travelling to Japan after being called by a man he saved during World War II. When he arrives, he finds the man on his deathbed as he is offered the chance to transfer his healing powers to save the man’s life and thus, rid him of his immortality, which he feels is a ‘curse’ that is wearing him down. Logan disagrees, but during a struggle he is injected with something that leaves him mortal.

This is most definitely the darkest and most human chapter in the X-Men franchise, telling the story of The Wolverine battling his inner-demons and coming to grips with his newfound mortality as he goes up against some of the deadliest enemies he’s ever faced. Jackman, now playing the role for the sixth time, has never been better.

The Wizard of Oz in 3D Waner Bros.

One of the most celebrated films and the single most watched film of all time, The Wizard of Oz arrives in a spectacular new 3D restoration, bringing the Wonderful Land of Oz to life like never before. Celebrating its 75th Anniversary, the digital restoration team at Warner Bros. Studios have put in the hard yards to deliver yet another presentation of Oz, and may I say, as someone who’s seen every restoration the film has u ndergone since about 1995, this is by far the greatest and most memorable one yet.

Colours are brighter than ever before, images are crisper and cleaner than I’ve ever seen them and, where the extra dimension of 3D could have fallen flat on its face, it proves to be one of the most immersive cinematic experiences I’ve ever seen. If you’re a fan of Oz – don’t dismiss this wonderful version of the film. > Dave Lee47

my obsession with

The girl in the red slippers W

e all have favourite movies – the ones we can, for one reason or another, revisit over and over and over again. For me, my list of favourites stretches on and on. In fact, not long ago, one of my friends challenged me to put together a list of my top 100 favourite films and put them in order (she was doing one herself and wanted to see how our lists matched up.) I began compiling a list and ended up writing one of nearly 200 titles. By that stage, I found it almost impossible to cull the list down or make any kind of order out of it and I just gave up (I think she did too.) That being said, it was easy for me to order my top 10 and even easier, it was a no brainer which film I was going to give the number one spot to.

Amongst everyone’s list of favourite films there’s one which stands above the rest, one which you can watch and have watched more than any other film you’ve ever seen. It’s a film which you not only enjoy watching, but one that actually means something to you. One that reminds you of something. One that you have an extreme emotional connection to. For me, that film is one that I’ve grown up with ever since my grandmother sat me down to watch it 17 years ago. It’s the film that introduced me to the world of cinema and the possibilities of filmmaking. The film that opened my eyes and made me see life in a different light, changing the way I think and live today (as wanky as that sounds.) I’ve always said that there was never a film like it before its time and there’s never been one that can compare to it since. Even as a five year-old kid, I knew that there was something very special and very unique about it. There 48

was just something about The Wizard of Oz that touched me in a way I’d never been touched before… no, not in that way… get your minds out of the gutter.

A few weeks ago select cinemas around Australia ran a very limited number of screenings over one weekend of Oz in a new 3D restoration to celebrate its 75th anniversary. As soon as I heard about it, I jumped online and secured my ticket right away.

For the first time ever though, I only booked one ticket – for the first time in my life, I ventured to the movies alone.

I usually see films as a very social experience – you sit with a bunch of mates or family and experience something together. However, with this screening of Oz, I didn’t bother inviting anyone along because, I, somewhat selfishly, wanted to have this experience all to myself – I didn’t want to share it. I guess, it’s with good reason though, because when I watch Oz, my emotions, strangely, run wild. It could almost be described as a fluctuation of emotions similar to a female’s at ‘that time of the month.’ Whether it be my eyes welling up to Judy Garland’s hauntingly beautiful ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow,’ my rage growing at that Wicked Bitch of the West trying to kill Dorothy and Toto (I mean, come on, he’s just a dog… what did he ever do? Bark at you and your stupid monkey a bit? Try to bite you, once? Bitch, please), or my heart melting when I hear Dorothy tell Scarecrow she’ll miss him most of all, my relationship with Oz is a very emotional and very personal one. So, going into the cinema, I was ready to sit back, relax and have a little bit of me time with my

favourite girl, Judy (sorry, Marilyn, I was in love with Judy waaay before I loved you, babe.) The first thing I noticed when I stepped in the door was children! Oh God! Children. Everywhere! I hadn’t thought this through. I always forget that Oz is predominantly considered a kids film these days, and for some stupid reason, the fact that CHILDREN would be in the theatre didn’t factor into my consciousness beforehand. Now, I feared, I could say goodbye to my blissful, life-changing afternoon of solitude. Now, my afternoon was going to

old woman of about seventy years old and a young girl of no more than five. I went to sit down, and as soon as my butt touched the seat, the old woman looked at me, smiled and said hello. I could JUST hear her over the uproar of ferocious children all around me – I returned the greeting.

As the lights went down and the movie started, the strangest thing happened. The theatre went dead quiet. Not a sound from anybody. All the ratbags in the cinema suddenly quieted down and became little angels. And then, the strangest thing hapbe ruined by three year-olds crawling over me, babies pened. I looked over to the old woman next to me, crying in front of me and punk-arse nine-year-old girls and she had the biggest grin on her face, stretching chatting behind me and throwing popcorn at the back from ear to ear and I was reminded of the look of my head. It’s not too late to just turn around and on my Nan’s face the first time she sat me down run, I thought… but I’d just spent a ridiculous $15 on to watch Oz. To the other side, I looked to the an upsized drink and popcorn that I didn’t even want, young girl, she too, had the biggest grin and I was so I ventured into the jungle. reminded of how I felt during that first viewing of

I made my way down the stairs and three Oz as a young girl… uhh… young boy, sorry. rows from the back I found my seat, between an

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I then began to look around the cinema and observed the crowd, properly. There actually weren’t as many kids as I had originally thought.

Sure, there was quite a few, but on second inspection I noticed that the crowd was equally distributed between young children, teenagers, middle-aged adults and elderly people. And the most bizarre thing of all; everyone had that same smile. Everyone reacted to the film in the exact same way. Everyone laughed, everyone jumped and everyone’s hearts dropped all as if on cue at the exact same moments. Those who knew the songs sung them under their breath and those who were hearing them for the first time were just simply captivated by them.

Everyone was lost. I was lost. But, not just in the film – I was lost in my own euphoric moment, my own state of bliss. I was now within that one very personal experience that I was hoping to get out of the screening. But I wasn’t just experiencing it by myself, as I had planned, I was experiencing it with everyone in the cinema and I was so happy. I was so happy to be sharing it with the young and so happy to be sharing it with the young at heart. Suddenly, grumpy-pants Dave was banished to the land of… whatever land grumpypants’ go, and then appeared a Dave who was so embarrassed and ashamed that his arrogant other-half had even shown his face. It became so clear that seeing Oz have the same effect on a crowd of people was more important than having the experience alone. Because in the end, that’s what Oz, as a film and as a story is all about – finding togetherness in the pursuit of solitude.

I began to reflect on why I love Oz and why I have always loved Oz. It’s because Oz is generational. It’s timeless. It’s that ultra-rare film that bridges the gap between ages, defying and transcending the laws of time like no other film of its age, except perhaps Walt Disney’s enduring animated classics. I’ve always known this and I’ve always taken pride in having Oz as my favourite film of all time, but during this screening, for the first time, I saw it. I actually saw people of all ages 50

coming together toexperience one moment, to indulge in one beautiful masterpiece, which, at 75 years-old, still proves that it refuses to die. But why? What makes it so special? It’s hard to pinpoint one thing exactly, but for me, I have a multitude of answers. I think everyone’s journey to Oz is their own private adventure. But, I can say that the film speaks volumes to me about love, life, hope, happiness and friendship, amongst other things that I hold dear to my heart. Oz not only stands as an enjoyable film with great colours and weird and wonderful characters, but stands as a great reminder of what’s really important in life.

Even more remarkable is, even though the film is 75 years-old the original story, being published for the first time in the year 1900, is close to 115. Like the classic fairytales of the Grimms and Hans Christian Anderson or the wonderfully whacky tales of Alice by Lewis Carroll, Oz is a story filled with characters and themes which are still prevalent in today’s society. The little child lost in a very big world, trying to make their way through life, whilst learning it’s true values. At its heart, Oz teaches us to dream and dream big, but to never lose sight of what’s true when you make it there. The story of Oz has grown and continues to grow with every passing year. Just as I feel I have grown with Oz, I feel that Oz has grown with me.

At the end of the film, the old woman looked to me and took off her 3D glasses. With a tear in her eye, she said, ‘that was wonderful, wasn’t it?’ She then got up, turned around and left. I’ll never see that woman again, but I’ll never forget her, because for the rest of my existence I’ll be watching the film and thinking of two moments – sitting with my Nan, watching Dorothy step into the Technicolor Land of Oz for the first time, and sitting in that theatre with all those people who, just like me, had grown with Oz or were just beginning their journey at that moment.

Oh, Aunt Em… there’s no film like Oz.

> Dave Lee

51 > Tom Morphett

A K R BU

R E G N E AV

The cartoon TV series empowering Pakistani women.

Sounds pretty low key, but this latest cartoon phase drawing attention around the globe is much more significant than you might initially think. Women’s rights in Pakistan has just been given another voice in the form of Jiya, a super hero who dons a burqa to fight off bad guys.

A

superhero that teaches by day and kicks some bad-guy butt is gaining much attention not only because of the cool, unique concept of an education-loving hero, but because she is a girl. And she wears a burqa.

It is no secret that women and young girls in third world Countries such as Pakistan have very unjust and difficult lives to live. Murder, mutilation, rape, acid attacks and abductions are only a few of the daily horrors these innocent women fear and face on a daily basis.

The hit new series is created and directed by the pop star, Haroon. He says he wanted to create a significant television series for children in Pakistan who could relate to the underlying themes and messages.

‘Living in Pakistan, all these issues are staring you in the face constantly. So when you’re creating art, whether it be music or anything else like a cartoon TV series, you want to incorporate social messages,’ Haroon explains after he was horrified to learn that in 2010 extremists were

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shutting down many girls’ schools. ‘I feel it’s my duty to try and make a positive difference.’

The character, Jiya, teaches at a school during the day and at night she dons her special burqa and fights the many bad guys who are trying to shut the school’s down. So who is Jiya? Haroon says, ‘The Burka Avenger is an orphan, adopted by a Kabbadi Master, who is Master of mystic martial arts, that I created, called Takht Kabbadi.’

What exactly is Takht Kabbadi? It is the art of fighting with books and pens, which I think is one of the coolest super powers going round.

Haroon wanted to promote awareness about the importance of education and this is definitely achieved by having a book as a weapon rather than a sword.

Whilst the new series has garnered a lot of deserved praise, it has also copped a bit of criticism due to the show taking on issues like Women’s Rights in Pakistan as well as the Burqa being a controversial item of clothing. Haroon, however, is quick to defend his decision of

having Jiya wear one, ‘She (Jiya) doesn’t wear a Burqa because she is oppressed, she uses it, she chooses to wear it to hide her identity the way superheroes wear their costumes to hide their identity.’

Many viewers have linked Jiya to Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani schoolgirl who was shot in an assassination attempt by Taliban gunmen.

Malala was just a schoolgirl with a dream to be educated and help other girl’s acquire knowledge.

For this simple wish, she was nearly brutally murdered.

Pakistani Women’s Human Rights Organisation (PWHRO) is an organisation devoted to the task of fighting for Human Rights for the women of Pakistan within the country. They do a tremendous amount of work and aim to bring the plight of Pakistani women to the notice of the world’s Human Rights Organisations and fight for the removal of cruel practices such as burning, mutilation, amputation, shaving, Karo-Kari, and laws like Hudood Ordinace.

At a time when more and more people are taking a stand for women and their rights, an entertaining and educational TV show like The Burqa Avenger, has never been so important.

For more information on PWHRO visit their website: www.pakistaniwomen.org and see if you can help.

> Mia Francisco 53

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housands of parents leave their houses every weekend and make the weekly pilgrimage to the local sporting ground. Coffee in hand, a scarf wrapped around their neck and them desperately hoping that their child doesn’t get injured.

Whilst there are the freak stories of broken bones and ruptured organs on the field, they are overshadowing a much more common and potentially serious problem, concussion. Broken limbs can be mended easily enough but the long-term effects on the brain caused by concussion can be irreversible.

Concussion is a very simple condition to obtain, but can be a very tricky one to identify and/or treat. Our national code, the AFL, is only just completing its second year of having an official concussion test for players who leave the ground after a heavy knock. Under the ruling, a player who is unable to pass their concussion test is deemed unworthy to partake any further part in the game.

This test however cannot be foolproof. A player who knows what the verbal test is looking for may be able to bluff their way through it, whilst a doctor may miss a few telltale signs. The atmosphere which they are performing under is extremely stressful and mistakes can be made.

The second problem is the recovery time which the brain needs after a bout of concussion.

There is no treatment for the brain except for rest and relaxing. This is a problem seeing as the majority of sports have a maximum of a week between games. With concussion only just recently being recognized as an injury, it is very hard to drill into players that whilst they may feel fine, any more serious knocks to the head could result in more severe consequences.

The precaution which several sports stars have opted for is the helmet. It manages to protect the head from most impacts, whilst causing minimal disturbance to the player. Unfortunately it has not been received by the footballing community very positively.

This mindset dates back decades which the 54

famous quote from John Kennedy Sr. in one of his quarter time speeches. His claim was that there was no such thing as an injury above the shoulders, meaning that concussion was not a medical injury.

Spawning from that day, there is now the common misconception that concussion is not a lingering condition. Put simply, you are either knocked out, or conscious. This is the message that is being portrayed to the youngest fans of our game, the same kids who take to the field every weekend with their parents anxiously watching on.

As an Essendon District footballer, I can guarantee first hand that helmets are not met with a lot of respect on the field. Any wearer of one has to prepare themselves for a day of constant sledging, from both sides of the fence. If I had the option of wearing one or not, I would probably not, purely because of the perception that any wearer of one is softer than everyone else on the field.

There are sports out there which promote the essential use of a helmet. Hockey and gridiron are examples where entering the field without one would be suicidal. But then there’s a cricket; a rock hard ball travelling at speeds up to 150 kilometers per hour, occasionally aimed at the head, and we are only a few decades into accepting that helmets are a good idea.

To over-simplify it, yes helmets are a great idea. Anything that could lessen the chance of a brain injury has to be a good thing. But then what about the people who manage these injuries in day-to-day living? Do we need to wear a helmet to drive a car? To go for a run around the block?

The answer is no, which shows that we cannot safe guard every aspect of life. Risks are taken every day, and that’s all a part of living.

Until such a time when helmet are accepted as a norm, we have to put aside this blokey crap and allow room for such precautions in all sports.

The option to be safe must always be there, but if safety is your main priority, perhaps a contact sport isn’t for you.

> Mitchell Pascoe

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Courage and Concussion

55 Image: bleacherreport.com

E GY P T

On the Brink of Civil War

Egypt. Destined for civil war, or is it ‘winner winner chicken dinner’ for General el-Sisi? Should you even give shit?

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nless you make up the forward-thinking minority of our society and actively seek an understanding of world events, you might be forgiven for assuming it’s been business as usual for Egypt since toppled dictator Hosni Mubarak faded from the Western consciousness in 2011. Blissfully unaware of Egypt’s postdictatorship landscape, it’s possible you marginally paid attention again when the news of civil unrest and military violence crept its way back into the headlines these last couple of months.

Maybe you’re one of the ignorant folk who assume that places like Egypt are in a constant state of senseless violence. Maybe you buy into the elitist mindset that separates us in the west from the rest of the world, so the news of hundreds of people killed in a peaceful protest at the hands of their own government doesn’t shock you a great deal.

Egypt’s political history is a complicated beast and I suppose it’s fair that you aren’t up to scratch on the intricacies. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. It would be impossible for me to do justice to its complexities in this humble article, but so we’re on the same page I’ll give you a very brief rundown of the situation.

February 2011: Following 18 days of revolution and hundreds of deaths, Dictator President Hosni 56

Mubarak steps down and is eventually taken into custody. Military takes charge.

November 2011 – January 2012: New predominately Islamist parliament is elected.

March – June 2012: Work on a new constitution begins. The Constitute Assembly is widely criticised by Egyptians for not representing the country’s non-Islamists.

June 30, 2012: Mohamad Morsi of Muslim Brotherhood fame is sworn in as Egypt’s first democratically elected president.

September – November 2012: Non-Islamist members boycott the controversial Constituent Assembly, however work continues on drafting the new constitution without them. President Morsi grants himself immunity from judicial review.

December 2012: In spite of massive protests, a referendum results in 68.3% in favour of the new Sharia Law-based constitution.

January – June 2013: Dissatisfied by a variety of moves by Morsi’s which are perceived as unfair power grabs, millions of Egyptians stage peaceful demonstrations calling for him to step down.

MILLIONS. Morsi remains unmoved on his position.

July 1: Ultimatum issued by the military; both sides better sort their shit out in 48 hours or the armed forces will intervene.

July 3: Morsi refuses to compromise and is ousted.

So what happened in August that forced the Australian media to stop harping on about irrelevant news stories like Kevin Rudd’s shaving cut and Tony Abbott’s show-pony daughters? If your answer is ‘The Egyptian interim government’s systematic and violent crackdown on all forms of known opposition’, you’d be correct. After being removed from power, Morsi is arrested and taken to an undisclosed location and warrants are issues for 300 Muslim Brotherhood officials. In a monumental ‘fuck you’ to the hundreds of prodemocracy protesters killed during the January 2011 revolution, former dictator Mubarak is released from prison. Supporters of the recent military coup d’état take to the streets, urged by Army chief Abdel Fattah el-Sisi to advocate his ambiguous mandate against ‘violence and terrorism’ through methods suspiciously synonymous with violence and terrorism.

Meanwhile, opposers to the military coup stage a massive sit-in. The peaceful protest spans six weeks and occupies two locations in Cairo.

Throughout the camps tent kitchens pop up to feed thousands of people with donated food, a makeshift funfair is constructed for children, medical professionals volunteer their services providing free basic medicines and vendors sell basic essentials. The community even has its own on-site television station. Despite the hostile anti-Morsi sentiment pushed by the Egyptian media and threats by the military, protesters vow to stay put until democratically elected leader Morsi is reinstated.

This next bit is important so stay with me.

On August 14 of this year General el-Sisi came good on his promise to crush acts of terror and violence, by launching a full-scale attack on the largely unarmed camps. Tanks, bulldozers and live ammunition bombard protestors, blocking all escape routes bar one as snipers thinned the crowd. Makeshift hospitals can barely keep up with demand. The very same children seen playing with water pistols and bouncing on trampolines a few days earlier are now all potential pot-shots for

el-Sisi’s anti-Islamist agenda, in the bloodiest clash since Mubarak’s dictatorship crumbled in 2011.

This is where you as a member of the global community should stand up and pay attention.

While the interim government claims that the violence was sparked by protestors, footage circulating the internet paints a vivid picture of unarmed people being brutally beaten by mobs of security forces and rows of corpses bearing the hallmarks of sniper fire. Even bystanders, journalists and medical staff are targeted; 24 year-old Australian tourist Dylan Bradbury described to the ABC how he was dragged onto the street, arrested and assaulted when caught filming a uniformed official shooting at unarmed protestors. Respected freelance photographer Mosa’ab Elshamy recounted his own brush with death when a medic he was standing with was shot in the head, ‘What was horrifying today were the snipers.

The sound of bullets was extremely frightening’.

On a side note, do yourself a favour and google this man’s work. He captures the horror of August 14 with sobering clarity.

The government justifies the statesponsored violence as a necessary step towards avoiding civil war. You hear that Egypt? It’s for your own good. Will there be a civil war? Not at this rate, mainly because el-Sisi has done a fine job of stomping out the only legitimate political organisation that could oppose the self-appointed sovereignty of the military. That said, there is no question the military’s brutality toward opposition will fuel continued civil unrest. This could either serve to empower the people, or provide the military with an excuse to extend its own grip on power. Given the increased powers afforded to the police since General el-Sisi declared Egypt was now operating under a State of Emergency, I’ll suggest the latter is more realistic.

It would appear that ousting Morsi was supported by the Egyptian people; having fought so hard against one dictatorship, it’s hardly unreasonable that they’d like to avoid another. > 57

Morsi claimed to be upholding the values of democracy when he refused to fold to opposition pressure, but was his approach to democracy transparent enough considering what the Egyptian people have experienced under Mubarak? Was the Muslim Brotherhood holding a disproportionate amount of power in a nation of polarities?

Perhaps, but what could possibly justify the massacre that took place against Morsi’s supporters? Members of the Muslim Brotherhood are being arrested in droves to be held accountable for conspiracy, murder and promoting civil unrest; will the perpetrators of the violence against those caught up in the August 14 clash also be held accountable?

What exactly does this have to do with you?

Aside from the odd westerner caught up in the unrest (note the poorly publicised arrest of Canadians John Greyson and Tarek Loubani, who were only in Egypt as a stopover to Gaza but taken into custody while asking for directions), why should you really give a shit about any of this? Let’s put this in relatable terms. Have you have ever felt your blood boil in isle four of your local supermarket at the incessant wailing of some cry-

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ing kid? Did you mutter through clenched teeth and glare menacingly at whichever frazzled parent was unfortunate enough to be in the same vicinity as your judgemental arse? Does that level of outrage equate to your feelings when you saw the brutality unfolding against your fellow human beings in Egypt, or did you just happily switch channels to enjoy the last instalment of Offspring?

Your response to this crisis speaks volumes about you as an individual and collectively it speaks volumes about us as a nation. So next time there’s a major international crisis unfolding before your eyes, pay some respect to the victims and try to redirect a little bit of that energy you reserve for the neurotic sexual escapades of Nina Proudman, into parts of the world that do not revolve around your self-serving insularity.

> Gemma Davies

59 > Tom Morphett

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t’s difficult for the cultured mind to comprehend that in this day and age, girls are still attempting to pull off jeggings and/or hungry short-shorts (you know those shorts that leave a half moo-cheek peeking out either side). But what is even harder to comprehend, even for the most simple-minded jegging-wearer, is that in this day and age, animals are still being used in cosmetic testing.

The sad reality of makeup is that in order to make sure it doesn’t melt off some part of your face, it needs to be tested somewhere. And that somewhere, is most likely on an animal.

For those ladies out there who have successfully poked themselves in the eye with an eyeliner, you’ll be familiar with the stinging pain mixed with watering eyes, a lot of cursing and, if you’re really unlucky, smudged makeup. But just stop and think for a minute: that pain you’re experiencing is what the company believes to be the closest they can get to making the makeup harmless. The animals that had to endure all the levels of pain until they perfected that batch were not as lucky as you.

Peta, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, estimates that over 100 million animals suffer and die in scientific tests. Even more 60

confronting is the idea that this number is not final. The Animal Welfare Act in any shape or form does not cover rodents, birds and cold-blooded animals and does not account for their deaths. These small animals account for 95% of testing subjects.

As part of their Beauty without Bunnies Program, PETA have released a comprehensive list of companies that manufacture products that have been tested on animals at some point in development. As a simple minded consumer of beauty products, I never realised that the large range of products I own, pretty much all come from one big, fat company. My M.A.C lipsticks, my La Mer foundation, my Bobbi Brown blush my Donna Karan perfume; all come from Estee Lauder, all tested on animals. Johnson & Johnson, the brand synonymous with the catch phrase ‘no more tears,’ is notorious amongst animal lovers for their animal testing. It seems that in order to prove that their product causes ‘no more tears,’ the product had to be tested somewhere. I’m sure those fluffy bunnies are happy in bunny heaven, comforted with the thought that they gave their lives (and their eyes) so you can be free from tears. Sadly, it’s all in vain as that product still stings like a fricken wasp.

animalthetesting sad reality In March this year, European Union (EU) announced that they have banned the sale of any cosmetics or cosmetics ingredients that have been tested on animals. The ban requires companies to stop testing on animals if they wish to sell in the EU. However, this does not apply to testing of the ingredients placed in the products. For example, if you made lemonade, you would not be allowed to test the drink on your cat, but you can still feed the dog lemons to see if they’re poisonous. We’re not saying that lemons are lethal and you should test homemade drinks somewhere, were just explaining the logic for the masses.

Tests often involve a painful and agonising death to small animals through introduction of chemicals to see how bad they are. For example, the Draize Eye Test dates back to the 40’s, and involves rabbits in full-body restraints with products introduced to their eyes or bare skin. The rabbits are then monitored for hours or even days, with technicians taking copious notes. The rabbits are restrained from rubbing the product or moving, and more often than not, end up with irreversible damage to their bodies. This test is considered pointless, as rabbits are not anatomically matched with humans.

Acute toxicity is used to discover whether or not a product will kill you if you manage to eat it, inhale it or get it on your skin. The animals are given varying doses of an ingredient, either once or continuously for a certain period of time. The Fixed Dose Procedure involves giving four fixed dose levels to ten rodents, leaving the animals in agony as their system reacts to the chemical. The idea is to find out at what point the animal is sick but not dead. If subjects are killed, the test is conducted again with a slightly lowered dose.

The sad reality of makeup is that in order to make sure it doesn’t melt off some part of your face, it needs to be tested somewhere. And that somewhere, is most likely on a small unsuspecting animal. So next time you are out stimulating the economy with your hard earned mulah, do a little research and find out just what went into making that product. It’s about time we all faced the harsh truth about animal testing.

www.peta.com.au Beauty withour Bunnies > Perrie Kapernaros 61

Cheeky Chapters

OCD Boy I

don’t know when it started; I think it was the first time that we ever had sex? I can’t really remember. But for the first time in my life, I felt dirty.

Now, I know that I have always had a bit of a dirty mind, but that never meant that I was a dirty girl. I have been with men who have called me dirty between the sheets. Note: I don’t do kinky bedroom talk. It’s cringe.

However, I have never legitimately felt dirty until I encountered Anthony.

I caught Anthony’s eye whilst soaking up the rays on the beach. To be honest, I can’t really work out why I was so appealing. I looked like a chubby glow-worm. While our mutual friends mingled, I kept my distance. I’m not the most receptive person after a big night, so it was best to keep my mouth shut in case I made an idiot of myself. For some reason, this unintentional act left Anthony wanting more.

The next time I saw him, he was trying to woo me by telling me that he was a chef. I asked him what his favourite dish was to cook. He responded, ‘Tapas’. I should have realised then that he wasn’t a chef. I soon found out that it was a little porky on our first date. He invited me over for dinner and fed me undercooked fish and hard carrots.

Rookie.

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Whatever his occupation, his banter had me going.

We shared our first kiss in his bathroom, when he snuck in behind me. Creep. It was kind of romantic in a twisted sort of way.

It didn’t take me long to start liking Anfernee. He was tall, blonde, tanned and had blue eyes.

But what really got my bits going was the fact that he was the lead singer in a band. And boy could he sing. He also played guitar that he used to try and lure me into the bedroom. It eventually worked.

That’s when shit started to get weird. I vaguely remember it happening after the first time that we had sex. However learning from experience with any guy, you cannot judge the sex after the first time. So many awkward, weird and odd things can happen. It’s all just a part of getting used to each other, which makes it normal. That’s why I think one-night stands are overrated.

But then it kept happening. It was over burgers one day when I finally asked a girlfriend whether it’s normal for a guy to get up and have a shower after sex. She responded ‘well one time, my ex-boyfriend accidentally jizzed on his floor.

Before I knew it, he had the Windex out trying to clean it up. Maybe he has OCD?’ She had a point.

But what I was concerned about was the fact that he was washing his Willy after it was inside my v-jay jay. Like c’mon mate. I’m clean. I swear!

So I did the inhumane and after we had done the deed, I pinned him down. I don’t know what came over me. But I wanted to see whether he could cope lying in our bodily fluids for at least thirty seconds after sex.

After all, this whole shower business sucked the romanticism out of making passionate love with my babe. I started kissing him, whilst lying on top.

He started to become all squirmy.

‘Sarah, can you please get off me?’ Anthony said.

‘Why babes? Can’t we just lay here for a bit?’ I replied. His face transformed into a look of disgust. It was literally like I had vomited up my last sentence. This was coming from the boy who had passed out in his own puke and rolled around in it the week before. Legit.

As I got off him, he ran off to the bathroom to do his own deed. Maybe the reason why he kissed me in the bathroom was so that he could wash his lips after our make out session? Who knows!

On return, I asked him why he needed to shower every time we had sex. He responded, ‘It’s just something that I do.’ I explained that it made me feel dirty. And with that, he just said, ‘Well Sarah, you’re not. And its something you’re going to have to put up with.’

I was slightly shocked that he seemed more surprised by my reaction. Maybe all of his exgirlfriends put up with it and never said anything?

I don’t know.

All I do know is that he is now an ex who’s known as OCD boy. And ironically enough, whilst we were dating, he woke up in the middle of the night, peed on my floor and went back to sleep. So I’m not sure how hygienic this boy really thinks he is?

Okay so dealing with the OCD boy takes a lot of patience and self-reassurance that you don’t have a bacterial infested v-jay jay.

Fortunately, I was in a situation where my ex’s case was extremely mild. However, if you end up dating someone with a more severe case, then there are a few important procedures that you can take, to help alleviate any confusion.

It’s pretty easy to work out whether someone has a case of OCD. Just observe their characteristics in being repetitive with tasks, or being obsessed with cleanliness when it comes to hygiene. Make sure that you spend some time in researching OCD. Some people are more severe than others, so you need to know what you’re up against so that you don’t feel as though you’re in the dark when it comes to dealing with the condition.

Once you have done some research, have a chat with your loved one about their situation. Make them feel comfortable with the fact that you’re aware of what is going on and that you want to be able to help them. Find out whether they want help. You need to understand that you cannot change the way that they are. So if you’re not okay in dealing with the circumstance, then maybe you need to reassess your situation.

If you’re ready to take it on, then contemplate whether you would be interested in seeing a professional to help assist you through this condition within a relationship. Otherwise, if your babe has a condition as mild as my ex did, then maybe just suggest having a shower with him? It might extend the passionate love making session.

Or even better, do it in the shower!

Until next time, keep your bits clean. > Sarah Long 63

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blaire EDITORIAL Emily Eaton Editor Sarah Long Creative Director Jordan Ellis Marketing CONTRIBUTORS Dave Lee Entertainment Spencer Hadlow Life Gemma Davies Life Tom Bensley Entertainment Ronan McDonnell Music Perrie Kapernaros Life Benny Thompson Music Tory Price Fashion Mia Francisco Life Mitchell Pascoe Sport Ella Clarke-Schwarz Life Photography Tom Morphett

Blaire Magazine is an Australian-based interactive publication dedicated to the arts and entertainment. Launched in 2012 as a blog project, Blaire’s initial success raised big interview and press opportunities, allowing for a relaunch in May 2013.

www.blairemagazine.com enquiries@blairemagazine.com ABN: 83130442306 64