Jaime Pressly Douses Public Urination Rumors BLITZ News Shorts Hollywood Profile / Movie Reviews Blitz Music: 10 Greatest Emcees How Much is Crabtree Worth? Brad Sham: Voice of the Cowboys COVER STORY: Real Mean Don’t Eat Sushi Details of Enjoying Sushi Our Favorite Sushi Restaurants BLITZ BABE: Thi MySpace Babe: Lisa Marie Health Benefits of Cigarettes BLITZ Toys Top 10 Hottest British Imports Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes Last Call: Let’s Talk Weather
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK “I like all of Japan. I like sushi. I like Mt. Fuji.” -- Nicolas Cage
‘Dead’ Baby Wakes Up for His Funeral Wake A baby boy born 16 weeks prematurely was declared dead by doctors at a hospital in Paraguay only to wake up in time for his funeral wake hours later. Dr. Ernesto Weber, head of pediatric care at the state-run hospital in the capital of Asuncion, said the baby weighed just 500 grams when he was born. “Initially, the baby didn’t move, he practically didn’t have any respiratory reflexes, nor did we hear a heartbeat and, as a result, we declared a premature fetus of 24 weeks dead,” Weber told Reuters Television. The family was given a death certificate and a cardboard box with the baby’s name scribbled on the outside which served as a makeshift coffin. But when the family took him from the hospital to prepare him for his funeral, the unbelievable happened. “I opened the box and took the baby out and he cried. I got scared and I said “the baby’s crying” ... and then he started moving his arms, his legs and I got scared, we got very scared,” said one member of the family, Liliana Alvarenga. Hours after the baby’s death had been declared he was found to be alive. The hospital has begun an investigation and the baby is now in a stable condition in an incubator.
Jaime Pressly wants to set the record straight about some photos and video circulating the Internet that seem to show the actress urinating on a public street in the middle of the day. In a message posted on her Twitter page, the actress explains why she may have been photographed outside The Abbey, a bar in West Hollywood, crouched over a wet floor and holding the bottom of her dress. “Yes ... that is me doing dare No. 8 at my bridal shower,” the newly engaged actress Tweeted Wednesday. “Things are not always what they seem.” Those who saw the “My Name Is Earl” star, 32, outside the bar on Sunday thought otherwise, as shocked patrons can be heard gasping in a video posted earlier this week on PerezHilton.com. “Notice my hand in the back,” adds Pressly of the prank. “It’s pouring a bottle of water!!! C’mon guys! Do you think I would really pee in the entry way to the Abbey in broad DAYLIGHT!!!” “Way to spin a story!!!” she says in another message.
Accused Nude Doorbell Ringer Pleads Not Guilty
Woman Nabbed twice for DUI on Same Night in 2 Cars Police arrested a woman twice in one night in two different cars for driving drunk. Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said the woman was pulled over at 1:13 a.m. Wednesday after she allegedly made an illegal turn and was spotted swerving down a south Lincoln street. The officer who stopped her said her blood-alcohol level was .19. That’s more than twice the legal limit. The woman was cited on suspicion of driving under the influence and negligent driving and taken to a detoxification center. Flood said the same officer stopped the woman again about two hours later. This time she was driving her boyfriend’s car. She was arrested for driving under the influence and negligent driving and taken to jail. Her blood-alcohol level then tested at .154. A man suspected of appearing nude at homes and ringing doorbells is being held on $60,000 bail after pleading not guilty to a series of charges. Peter Allen Steele, who is 6 feet 7 inches tall and weighs 250 pounds, entered his not guilty pleas Tuesday after being charged with seven counts, including driving under the influence, evading a peace officer, indecent exposure and entering a house without permission. Authorities say the 38-year-old Steele led San Mateo County sheriff’s deputies on a car chase on July 11 that ended with him streaking into a home and then into woods near Redwood City. Deputies say it took a Taser and two shots from a bean bag gun to bring him down.
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VOL. 1 - ISSUE 52
August 19-25, 2009 3
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4 August 19-25, 2009
HOLLYWOOD PROFILE BLITZ BLITZREVIEWS with Quentin Tarantino
Wa s t i n g o u r m o n ey s o yo u d o n ’t h a ve t o !
Vivian Fullerlove
“Entertainment’s Real Critic”
Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, and Kill Bill volumes I and II, Quentin Tarantino has become the moviemaker with the Midas touch! From cult hits to box office bonanzas, he’s been doing it his way since he entered the game, and his way appears to be working out quite well. Tarantino has a new film back in theatres this week, Inglourious Basterds. The film stars a little known guy named Brad Pitt and takes place in German-occupied France where Shosanna Dreyfus, played by Melanie Laurent, witnesses the execution of her family at the hand of Nazi Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz). Shosanna narrowly escapes and flees to Paris, where she forges a new identity as the owner and operator of a cinema. Elsewhere in Europe, Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Pitt) organizes a group of Jewish soldiers to engage in targeted acts of retribution. Known to their enemy as “The Basterds,” Raine’s squad joins German actress and undercover agent Bridget Von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger) on a mission to take down the leaders of The Third Reich. Fates converge under a cinema marquee, where Shosanna is poised to carry out a revenge plan of her own. We caught up with Q to talk about his epic new project.
The film eschews the glowing awe which usually accompanies humans meeting aliens for the first time for a reality tied up with corruption. The action takes place in Johannesburg, South Africa. A faux news documentary at the start of the film brings everyone up to speed. The son of a MNU corporate exec is in charge of relocating the aliens from the slums of District 9 to the new District 10, miles away from the city. Things go awry during the process and main character Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley) is accidentally sprayed with an alien fluid at one of the alien shacks. Thus begins his metamorphosis. The MNU discovers this and wants to use him for experimentation. From there the movie picks up speed as he becomes a hunted man. All in all, this is a low budget film with high aspirations. It does a pretty good job that leaves you wanting more.
How did you come up with the idea for this movie? When I first sat down to write it, it literally was “Oh, I’m going to do [a movie about] a bunch of guys on a mission WWII movie which is like a special sub genre of WWII movies. Now, it is that. It is a bunch of guys on a mission, but it’s also more than that. I want all my genre pieces to be more than just what I first set out to do. But that was how I first sat down to get started with the idea being a bunch of guys on a mission WWII movie, an adventure. This is your first time doing a period piece. Did that present any unique challenges for you? I had never done a period thing before, and I didn’t want that to become almost a thing about the movie. I didn’t want that to stop any of my instincts, but it is true. It is a period film, and I’ve never dealt with this genre before. When I first started writing it, I was probably a little precious about it because I started writing it after Jackie Brown; so, that would have made it my first original after Pulp Fiction. What made you select Brad Pitt, other than the obvious that he is Brad Pitt, for the lead role of Aldo? At first I had no idea who was going to play Aldo, but about midway through, I started thinking “Who could possibly do this dude?” Once I came up with Brad, I couldn’t come up with anybody else. And it’s not like I’m just trying to be flattering or something, there was no second or third choice. Usually, I like my second or third choice because it’s usually not the second guy on the list. It’s like something from left field. You know, if you make it with this guy, it’s this kind of movie, or if you make it with that guy, it’s a whole different kind of movie. But this time there was no other guy, and I just happened to want the most in demand guy on planet Earth. Not only that, I’m going right away. It’s not like I could even wait for him. When the script was done, we were shooting, and it all worked out! How would you describe Inglorious Basterds to fans and why should they go check it out? It’s the feel good World War II movie of the year! Inglorious Basterds opens in theatres nationwide this week. The film is rated R for strong graphic violence, language and brief sexuality. Check out more of this week’s new releases on my show Reel Critics on Time Warner Cable On Demand under the North Texas programming tab!
This film is wonderfully corny in all the right ways. Set in the distant future, the three central characters are recent high school grads who have enlisted in the Federal Service. Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien), his girlfriend Carmen (Denise Richards) and buddy Carl (Neil Patrick Harris) want to protect Earth from the Arachnids. These “bugs” might be smarter than what the average human thinks they may be. Their goal is the destruction of the entire human race. The fight scenes are great, has excellent lines to be quoted and has some eye candy thrown in. It might have the feel of a B movie at first, but as a whole it is pure genius.
August 19-25, 2009 5
Johnny Blaze
Music Scholar
Of all the elements that encompass the great genre of music that is hip hop, certainly the art of MC’ing has to be looked upon as the most important force behind it all. Sure beats, rhymes, and a talented DJ are of extreme importance, but there is nothing like listening to a rapper with magnificent fury on the mic. The following is the beginning of a highly subjective list of the 10 greatest beings ever to embrace the art form. This is a “countdown” if you will with the first installment this week and the very cream of the crop soon to follow. 10. BLACK THOUGHT (The Roots) The Roots made a name for themselves immediately due to their use of live instruments and through Black’s free-style abilities often displayed on stage. Black Thought has always remained faithful to the real roots of the sound and for that he is to be commended and recognized as one of the all time greats.
7. Q-TIP (A Tribe Called Quest) Q-Tip has to be considered the ultimate face of one of the all time great rap groups. Bust outs like “Can I Kick It?”, “Scenario”, and “Bonita Applebum” helped put his silky smooth flows on the map. Q-Tip showed that rap could not only be knowledgeable but extremely fun at the same time.
9. B REAL (Cypress Hill) The driving force behind these Latin lingo funksters, this Buddha blessed one helped catapult Cypress Hill onto the scene. He helped bring a whole new sound to the rap game in ’91. The nasal flow from B Real is definitely as unique as they come and his lyrics are straight up in your face. Staples like “How I Could Just Kill a Man” and “Insane in the Brain” launched what has been a very long and successful career.
6. DR. DRE Recently Dre has been a more behind the scenes guy known as maybe the best producer in the industry, his achievements as a rapper can certainly not be overlooked. Dre first broke out with the gangsta’ rap pioneers NWA featuring the late Eazy E, Ice Cube, Mc Ren, and Yella. If this wasn’t enough, Dre went on to even greater success with quite possibly the crown jewel of all rap albums, 1992’s “The Chronic”. This album also helped the masses discover the unknown Snoop Dogg. Dre’s singles “Nuthin’ but a ‘G’ Thang” and “Dre Day” got all kinds of play on MTV and really helped revolutionize the West Coast sound at a time when the East Coast hip-hop style seemed to dominate the scene. Throw in the massive Death Row Records he co-founded with the infamous Suge Knight and the millions of records sold by another artist on their label (stay tuned) and the Doc must go down as a legend for the ages.
8. COMMON “I Used to Love h.e.r” is all that needs to be said. Potentially one of the greatest rap songs in history, this Chi-town originator wrote the absolute masterpiece in story form, describing hip hop from it’s infant stages and how it progressed into the pro-black movement. The track ends in sorrow with Common reminiscing on the days of when hip hop was so positive and how it began to be ruined by greed and negativity.
More to come….next week!
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10 Greatest Emcees Ever – Part One
MUSIC: Dr. Dre’s Big Hits! 1. Nuthin’ But a “G” Thang Dr. Dre - The Chronic
2. The Next Episode Dr. Dre - The Chronic
3. F*** With Dre Day Dr. Dre - The Chronic
4. Been There Done That Dr. Dre - The Aftermath
5. California Love
2Pac w/ Dr. Dre - All Eyez On Me
6. Still D.R.E.
Dr. Dre - The Chronic 2001
7. Forgot About Dre Dr. Dre - The Chronic 2001
8. The Watcher
Dr. Dre - Dr. Dre 2001
9. Let Me Ride
Dr. Dre - The Chronic
10. B*tches Ain’t Sh*t Dr. Dre - The Chronic
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6 August 19-25, 2009
How Much is Crabtree Worth? Michael Crabtree is an amazing talent. In 2008 while playing for Texas Tech, he was named first team All-American. Crabtree became the first player ever to win the Biletnikoff Award twice (which is given to the nation’s top collegiate receiver). He had the play of the year in 2008 scoring a 28 yard touchdown with only a few seconds left to upset the Texas Longhorns in Lubbock. In just two seasons as a Red Raider he had 231 catches for 3,127 yards and 41 touchdowns. So how can a person go from the best wide receiver in college football to the biggest idiot in professional football? In this year’s NFL Draft, he was selected tenth overall by the San Francisco 49ers. The Oakland Raiders shocked everyone by making Darrius Heyward-Bey the first receiver selected with the seventh pick. Al Davis gave him an inflated contract for $38.25 million. Crabtree feels he is a bet-
ter receiver than Heyward-Bey and deserves equal money. Welcome to the real world! Did they teach you in Lubbock that seven is lower than ten therefore you will not get equal money. He is now threatening to sit out the entire 2009 season and reenter the draft in 2010. Who the hell does he think he is? He will be drafted higher than tenth next year. No one wants a distraction on their team (see Terrell Owens career). There is also a big bust factor in recent top ten drafted receivers. Do you remember Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, and Koren Robinson? He is probably risking more than he stands to gain. Crabtree could learn something from Matt Harrington. You probably never heard of him and there is a reason for that. Harrington was the best high school pitching prospect in the country his senior year. He was drafted number seven overall by the Colorado Rockies in 2000. He turned down
Sportsologist - Craig Smith 5 million dollars because he thought he could get more. He reentered the draft several years later, never getting the money he wanted and watched his stock plummet. In 2007 after another failed attempt to make a team he called it quits. Today he works for Costco making $11.50 an hour. I doubt he gets enough hours to equal that 5 million dollars that he turned down. Mike Singletary will not worry about Crabtree because he has a team to coach. As of now he is tied with me in number of NFL receptions. He needs to get his butt to training camp, shut his mouth, and learn the playbook. I hope he does not waste all that talent. Today’s job market is tough and Costco may not even be hiring. I would highly suggest accepting the millions offered instead of settling for minimum wage.
August 19-25, 2009 7 blitzweekly.com
Getting to knowBrad Sham The Voice of The Dallas Cowboys Baseball Guru - Eddie Stephens
Rangers Thinking Playoffs? What’s it like being known as the “Voice of the Dallas Cowboys”? It’s a blessing and a privilege that I don’t take for granted. Have you visited the new Cowboys stadium? Any impressions? Yes. It’s a show-stopper. It will change the way people experience attending live events. The movie “W” allowed viewers to enjoy your acting debut. What’s next? Make me an offer… You are a published author, why did you decide to write Dallas Cowboys: Colorful Tales of America’s Greatest Teams? Honestly, the publisher solicited me, but I’m grateful they did. It was one of the hardest and most enjoyable projects I’ve ever undertaken. You’ve been involved with Major League Soccer for a number of years now, how has the sport grown locally? The biggest growth has been on the grass roots and youth level. I think they need to win big to have it grow professionally, although Pizza Hut Park helps.
Nagano, Japan – what comes to mind? I got a chance, by accident, to call live radio play by play of an American gold in moguls. I claim to be the first. What do you think are the challenges that face the 2009 Dallas Cowboys? Being consistently sound in the secondary and finding quality depth at receiver and the offensive line. You’ve been in the booth for thirteen Cotton Bowls. Which one stands out the most and why? Picking one is hard, but probably my first one, Auburn & Bo Jackson vs. A&M, because I did color for the great Lindsay Nelson. Being a graduate of the University of Missouri with a degree in journalism, did you plan on ending up in the booth? How did you get your start? I WENT to Missouri to get a journalism degree to get into the booth. My first full time job after school was at then WRRAM in Dallas as a news reporter. I got the job because I had a journalism degree from Missouri and I would work for $600 a month.
Since you’ve been a part of the Cowboy organization for so many years, what are some of the memorable moments that you like to reflect on? Oh, wow. How much space do you have? I’ve done 4 Super Bowls. The ‘92 season championship game in SF, the December ‘79 game at Texas Stadium against Washington all come to mind. But honestly it’s mostly about friendships and people. Schramm, Aikman, Irvin, Waters, guys on the current team like Ware and Witten. There are dozens of guys I’ve gotten to be friends with for decades. And if it weren’t for this job, I’d have never had the lifelong friendships I enjoy with Verne Lundquist, Dale Hansen and Babe Laufenberg. Are you a part of any charities that the Blitz Weekly reader can contribute to? Not that I’m specifically a part of, but I am partial to anything that helps with Alzheimer’s research.
Could we be talking playoffs and Rangers in the same sentence. We are embarking on September in the 2009 MLB season, and its becoming a race between the Boston Red Sox and the Texas Rangers for the Wild Card. The Rangers are currently one game ahead of the Red Sox for the Wild Card. All of the problems that the Rangers have been having over the years are being fixed, especially the pitching. Bringing Derek Holland up was one the smartest moves this year, and for the future. Neftali Feliz finally made his debut, and it was magical. In five games, he has a 1.04 ERA, and has struck out 16. He is also the youngest Ranger to ever record a save. The save came last Saturday in the 7-2 win against the Red Sox. Among the other starters, you have Millwood, Fieldman, Jennings, Hunter, and Nippert. They finally released headhunter Padilla. On a sour note the Rangers could lose catcher Jarrod Saltalmacchia for the season. He has been having symptoms of TOS (Thoracic Out Syndrome). The same illness that ended pitcher Matt Harrison’s season. Taylor Teagarden will take over the role as starting catcher. Rangers rookies Julio Bourbon and Elvis Andrus set a club record for steals on Aug 15th against Boston. They combined for 7 steals (Bourbon 4, Andrus 3). These rookies are having a great year, and if the pitching and hitting are on the same page, the Rangers could find themselves playing in October.
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8 August 19-25, 2009
Richard Pollak “The Traveling Gourmet”
REAL MEN DON’T EAT Dr. Wiggins told me that I had to lose 30 lbs. and reduce my cholesterol by 30 points. As I protested, “Where’s the BEEF?” I’ve cowered into a world of fish, salad, raw vegetables and chicken. Sadly gone is my favorite restaurant in Dallas, the Texas outpost for New York famed, SMITH & WOLLENSKY and in it’s place is a “FOR SALE” sign from those mad foodies that brought you that yucky Landry’s seafood emporium. How could they have even considered putting a Cajun restaurant on the North Dallas Steak Tollway? Oh! Well! With S & W gone I now eat FREE SUSHI every Thursday at the new location of GO FISH, OCEAN CLUB: SEAFOOD: SUSHI: STEAK on Alpha road, across the street from the Dallas Galleria. Every Thursday night beginning at 5 till 8 pm you can savor the exquisite talents of Executive Chef Tiffany Derry’s FREE SUSHI MADNESS. All you have to do is order one of their premium cocktails like a watermelon Martini or Cuban style Rum Mojito. I can still remember during my early dating days, I used to sit in horror visualizing my date ordering a strange phenomenon RAW FISH! I used to say, “Give me a steak!” Real men don’t eat sushi! Now I plan my weekly culinary calendar around Thursday for the FREE SUSHI at Go Fish Ocean Club. Fear not cowboys, you can still chow down on Chef Derry’s cowgirl sized Rib-eye which is frenched then trimmed before flame grilling to perfection and served with a minimal dusted onion ring crown. I can highly bless the reinvigorated menu that Chef Derry has brought to the new Go Fish Ocean Club locale with a classic Bouillabaisse seafood stew of lobster, scallops, shrimp, mussels and clams in a saffron and tomato broth. Go Fish will easily become the number #1 seafood restaurant and cocktail club scene in the Galleria area. At Tokyo One, in Addison, there are over 30 selections of sushi and sashimi. The Japanese make an art out of preparing and presenting food. While the raw shrimp, tuna, salmon and crab are served on a nice little mound of sticky rice or simply wrapped around by pressed seaweed; the sashimi is merely raw fish in delicately cut small pieces. I would not be fair to my manhood unless I traveled over to their grand teppanyaki grill station. A REAL MANS’ size grill with thinly sliced slaps of sirloin, shrimp, chicken and fish waiting to be stir fried with veggies in a Japanese teriyaki sauce. However, taking Dr. Wiggan’s advice, I pass on the beautifully marbled 4-ounce sirloin strip steak and go chicken and shrimp! Royal Tokyo Sushi Den on the North Dallas Tollway at Trinity Mills is the rebirth of the original namesake Japanese restaurant in Dallas. Always a trendsetter, the Royal Tokyo was the first metroplex restaurant to offer Kobe Beef. Although an authentic Japanese family in Tyler, Texas raises the beef, they still massage the cow’s bellies and feed them Japanese beer. If I could have one more morsel of Red Beef, MAKE IT KOBE! Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and Thai are now all established culinary cuisines in Dallas that man has taken under his wing. No longer are we limited to burgers and fries, wings and potatoes skins or pasta and pizza. The new Pacific Rim craze is a mixture of food cultures best demonstrated by my favorite Asian restaurant in Dallas; Roy’s Polynesian Retreat on the Dallas Tollway. Hawaiian chef Roy Yamaguchi has created a food empire of island oasis from Honolulu to New York City. Texans can still wrestle some ribs at Roy’s but it’s Szechuan baby back ribs. His Pacific Rim delicacies have fine flavors matching unique textures and tastes. Portions are not Texas size nor are they suppose to be. You have to be willing to go for the tastes and experiences and try several dishes. While man’s quest for fine dining remains his nature, his return to his ground beef roots remains. We have gone full circle from steak to sushi to hamburgers at home? There I stand starring at my new hydro-turbo, 18 wheeler, mega-hemi, 4 burner outdoor barbeque grill and shout, “who wants their Nolan Ryan 98% fat-free ground beef from Central Market meat counter, MEDIUM RARE?” as we munch on the California rolls from their in-store sushi bar. It’s 2009, REAL MEN DO EAT SUSHI AND TO GO, TOO!
MARGARITAS & MEXICAN FOOD
NIGHTLY SPECIALS! DINE-IN ONLY
MONDAYS ENCHILADA PLATE
FREE
TUESDAYS
MEXICAN BEERS ALL DAY
Solʼs Nieto Mexican Grill is XTENDED HAPPY HOUR a fun friendly 4PM TO CLOSE place with a jukebox THURSDAYS atmosphere, FAJITA SPECIAL BREAKFAST, LUNCH neighborhood feel, amazing & DINNER food and great SERVED DAILY FROM 9AM margaritas.
WEDNESDAYS
6434 E.MOCKINGBIRD DALLAS, TX 75214 214-826-5564
August 19-25, 2009 9 www.eugeneciurana.com
Eating sushi is not about filling yourself with raw fish. Eating sushi is an experience--some say a ritual--that involves all your senses. Serious sushi can only be eaten at the bar because that’s the only place where you’ll see the colors, inhale the aromas, share the laughter, and taste the food fully immersed in the environment. Plan on a one and a half to two hour meal.
Mechanics
The waitress will bring you an oshibori (hot towel) as soon as you sit down. Wipe your hands with it before touching the food; some restaurants leave the towel throughout the meal for you to wipe your hands; others take it away before your sashimi arrives. Either way you’ll get a napkin for your lap. Your wooden chopsticks will come joined at one end; separate them and feel them lengthwise. Rub them together only if you feel splinters. Never rub high quality, smooth chopsticks; you will insult the restaurant if you do. You may eat sushi with your hands or with chopsticks, whatever is more comfortable. Use chopsticks to grab morsels from a shared plate, holding the end that you put in your mouth with your fingers so that only the opposite end touches the food. You may use your fingers after depositing the sushi piece on your plate; turn your chopsticks around to grab it if you’re using them. Some sushi bars have a small canal with thin springs of running water between you and the itamae; use these to rinse your fingers. Never ask for a spoon to eat your soup; simply grab the bowl with one hand and dig the bits of tofu, seaweed, or mushrooms with your chopsticks as you bring it to your lips. It’s perfectly polite to slurp, especially if the soup is hot. Ignore the gaijin (non-Japanese guys) glaring at you from the other side of the bar; chances are they haven’t read this nor been to Japan. If the spiciness in your sushi is not enough, lace some with soy sauce for dipping your sushi; this is done by dabbing a tiny bit of wasabi (the bright green dough on your plate) onto a small saucer provided to you next to your bigger plate. Add some soy sauce for dipping. Blend it with your chopsticks. The right ratio of wasabi to soy sauce is up to you. Wasabi is very strong, stronger than hot mustard, so be careful with the amounts. The Japanese way is to use soy sauce without adding wasabi to it and dabbing the wasabi onto the sushi morsel itself. Your call. Never dip the sushi rice in soy sauce; turn your piece so that only the fish or whatever you have on it touches the sauce. Never dip in soy sauce something that already has a sauce or decoration on it, like unagi (fresh water eel served with some Teriyaki sauce and sprinkled with sesame seeds). If it looks elaborate or like it has some sauce on it, ask the itamae whether you should dip it. Always dip your sashimi or nigiri if they don’t appear to have anything on them. Your plate will have some gari, or pickled ginger, on it. Eat a little bit of it in between sushi pieces to clean your palate. Eating gobs of it is bad form. Ask for some oshinko (various pickled roots like radish) if you don’t like pickled ginger.
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Eugene Ciurana
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10 August 19-25, 2009
Ajisen 400 N. Greenville Avenue, Suite 26 • Richardson • (972) 792-8888 Why a Blitz Pick:
Steve-San sushi chef has trained for more than 10 years under two different sushi masters. He continues his studies and new dishes at Ajisen, developing unprecedented, multi-cultural combinations using his impeccable knowledge of technique. Allen Hsu is an authentic Chinese Chef and has more than 30 years experience with traditional Chinese dishes. Known For: Japanese Ramen, Bento Box, Dollar Sushi, and Robata. On the Side: Seafood Ramen, Yakitori Oyster, Orange Beef, Lobster Sashimi,Crunchy Golden Roll
Asahi Teppanyaki & Sushi 2300 Cross Timbers Road • Flower Mound • (972) 539-8688 www.asahi-fm.com Why a Blitz Pick:
For years now this restaurant has been the venue for teppanyaki and sushi in Flower Mound. They have a full service bar. Their Master Sushi Chef has studied for over 15 years and the results can be seen daily. Private party rooms are available. Known For: Uinque hibachi grills with great entertainment, homemade sauces and dressings. On the Side: Tiffany Roll, Asahi Tower Roll, Volcano Roll, Lobster Roll, and Mama-San Roll
Asian Mint (2 locations) 11617 N. Central Expressway, Ste. 135 • Dallas • (214) 363-6655 www.asianmint.com Why a Blitz Pick:
Asian Mint offers a great selection of Asian food with a specialty in fresh flavors from Thailand and very well known for the best Pad Thai in town! Sushi is a big hit with mouthful rolls coupled with their great selection of sakes and specialty martinis. The Mint (no sushi at this time) is their newest location on Oak Lawn. Known For: Clean fresh Asian flavors, Pad Thai, seafood, vegetarian and gluten free options, full bar, desserts and coffee. On the Side: Dallas Roll, Asian Mint Roll, Spicy Tuna Tower, Yellowtail in Heaven Roll, Crazy Roll Lobster Sashimi,Crunchy Golden Roll
Bonsai Sushi 721 Hebron Parkway, # 103 • Lewisville • (972) 956-9009 Why a Blitz Pick:
Whole fresh fish shipped in daily. The chefs slice and dice as needed. They have been in business for over three years in Lewisville. Stop by for lunch and enjoy a sushi lunch combo or a bento box! Known For: Impeccable atmosphere and the freshest and highest quality sushi. On the Side: Miso and Spicy Salmon Soup, Lady Bug Roll, Fire Wheel Roll
Japan House 300 W. Plano Parkway • Plano • (972) 633-8000 www.japanhouseplano.com Why a Blitz Pick:
As soon as you step in you are greeted by a smiling hostess. The spacious building accommodates the largest of parties. Their massive buffet offers a variety of dishes ranging from Sushi to Shabu Shabu (hot pot) to teppanyaki. They even offer sashimi! Their chefs use the finest ingredients and prepare their cuisine daily. Enjoy today. Known For: Over 40 kinds of fresh Sushi and Sashimi everyday. On the Side: Udon and Soba noodles, fresh Crab Legs, Shabu Shabu
August 19-25, 2009 11
www.kampaiaddison.com Why a Blitz Pick:
As soon as you are greeted you feel right at home in this cozy little restaurant in the heart of Addison Circle. The friendly wait staff will make honest recommendations. The Spider Roll is a must. Whether you visit for a business lunch or a night out with your girl, you will be impressed with the service and the meal. Known For: “Cheers”-like atmosphere, nice patio and attention to detail. On the Side: Volcano Roll, Spicy Tuna Roll, Kampai Spicy Shrimp Roll, Phoenix Roll, Firecracker Roll
Kenichi 2400 Victory Park Lane • Dallas • (214) 871-8883 www.kenichidallas.com Why a Blitz Pick:
Kenichi is the best Sushi/Bar in Victory Park before or after any event at the AAC. The Freddie Roll is prepared with a secret recipe sauce that only Assist Sushi Chef Freddie knows and he only makes enough in advance to cover his days off. Known For: The “Blake” Roll in memory to honor one of their Aspen Sushi Chef’s who passed away while skiing (a portion of the sale is donated). On the Side: Fatty Tuna Roll, Toro Roll, Sea Urchin Roll and The Sake Master
Midori Sushi (2 locations) 4020 N. MacArthur Blvd., Ste.114 • Irving • (972) 887-1818 Why a Blitz Pick:
The most affordable sushi buffet has been doing it right for 10 years. This hot spot is a favorite among Dallas Cowboys players and fans. The Sushi Burrito is amazing. Pleasant environment and fast, cordial service are top notch. If you can’t make it for lunch then try the happy hour sushi prices! Known For: Great lunch buffet with a wide selection. Fish is of the highest quality. On the Side: Ranger Roll, Sushi Burrito, Spicy Tuna Tower
Nori Sushi 2212 W. Northwest Highway • Dallas •(972) 993-7888 www.mynorisushi.com Why a Blitz Pick:
The only metroplex sushi bar open till 2am everyday that we know of. Check out their “buy 1, get 1 free” sushi lunch specials during the week. We like their happy hour drink specials. On Fridays from 4pm – 1am they have $3.50 U-Call-Its. We call it “Awesome!” Known For: Not being known…YET! On the Side: The Lemmon Pepper Chicken Wings and the Boo Koo Burger
Sushi On McKinney 4438 McKinney Avenue • Dallas • (214) 443-0605 www.sushionmckinney.com Why a Blitz Pick:
This is their new home. This restaurant has been a sushi icon since 1983. The ambiance is really nice and relaxed. A great place for those new to the sushi scene. They have excellent customer service. They also offer a Japanese fusion menu. Check them out, you won’t be disappointed. Known For: Being a casual Japanese café. On the Side: Devil Roll, Camaron Roll, Rainbow Roll, Jalapeno Roll, Spicy Pressed Sushi
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Kampai Sushi 4995 Addison Circle • Addison • (972) 490-8888
August 19-25, 2009 13
So what’s it like to be “Miss Myspace USA” for July? Well, quite an honor considering that I didn’t expect to even make the Top 10 let alone actually win. I have great friends and fans that supported me to the last hour of this contest. And let me tell U, it was close!!! Did you get a tiara and roses? LOL…yes, on the banners they made for me. Ok, n now ow that you’ve won the title, what’s next? I’ve gotten a lot of exposure, I’m shooting to be in Thats Hot magazine and a few other projects as well. Kinda hush, hush for now.
Favorite sport and player? Favorite Want my honest answer…Baseball and of course my favorite player is Kenny Lofton. What’s tthe he title of your own reality show? LISA MARIE...LOOKING FOR LOVE PT.1 Do guys with cameras creep you out? No, I love cameras, I am a model… unless it’s some perv. What’s your favorite color of What’ bikini to wear? Black...my favorite color. Margarita - frozen - on the Margarita rocks - with or without salt? On the rocks with salt.
Do guys have to bow at your feet now? (laughing) LOL…No way, I’m not that kinda girl. I’m not a princess by far!!!
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center? 1~2~3 in at the center of it, hit the spot!!!
Three things you would take on Three a desert island. Vibrator, Cell Phone and my Ipod.
Thanks Lisa Marie… You’ve been Blitzed!
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Danny Ketch
dketch@blitzweekly.com myspace.com/blitzweekly
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14 August 19-25, 2009
SIGNS YOU’RE GOING TO GET LUCKY
by: Jesse Whitman hy do health experts and researchers always tell us that the most enjoyable things in life are also bad for us? Red meat causes heart disease, cigarettes cause cancer, alcohol damages the liver, etc. While some of these statements may carry some weight, it is only when used excessively. In fact, red meat from grass-fed cows may actually reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, as well as one glass of red wine every night. Now, researchers are finding evidence that nicotine found in cigarettes have some health benefits too great to be ignored. American smokers know too well the huge amount of smoker’s guilt that Europeans don’t have to deal with. In Paris, for example, you’ll often find ashtrays everywhere, even elevators. Parisians can’t even wait to go up three stories before having a cigarette, even though smoking inside public places was recently banned in France. It is true that smoking can damage every organ in your body, but many of these harmful effects comes from the additives found in cigarettes, including arsenic (rat poison), ammonia, acetone and tar. Many brands also contain hydrogen cyanide, which is used in the gas chamber, the solvent benzene, which has been linked to leukemia, and formaldehyde, which causes cancer, respiratory and gastrointestinal diseases. But the nicotine in tobacco minus the additives has recently been making waves in the scientific community, particularly concerning Alzheimer’s. Based on the evidence that nicotine is connected to increased brain function, researchers recently found that non-smoking Alzheimer patients who received nicotine intravenously had significant improvements in long term memory and attention span. And the carbon dioxide that supposedly causes the slow death of a smoker actually can prevent blood clotting, which is a leading cause of heart attacks and strokes. Nicotine was even found to stop the growth of tuberculosis, even in small amounts, according to Saleh Naser, a microbiology professor at the University of Central Florida. Studies have also shown that nicotine can lower the risk of Parkinson’s and ease the symptoms of ulcerative colitis. The Native Americans used tobacco not only for its calming effects at social gatherings, but also for medicinal purposes. They used it as an analgesic for pain, killing parasites, easing toothaches, and as a poultice for boils and insect bites. The traveling medical shows of the Old West also purported the benefits of tobacco and sold tobacco products that promised to cure indigestion, diarrhea, and constipation. The indigenous peoples that Columbus encountered were also reported to smoke tobacco for its stimulating effects on the mind as well as for a hunger and thirst suppressant. So the next time someone you love strikes you with the universal smoker’s guilt, just think of all the exciting new research showing the benefits of tobacco. Of course, I’m not suggesting you start chain-smoking, but if you can’t break the habit, try cigarettes that don’t have the harmful additives. Also, keep in mind that anything in excess can be harmful: too much coffee depletes your body of essential vitamins and minerals, excessive sugar suppresses the immune system, and a pack a day can damage your body and your wallet.
W
G
etting ‘lucky’ is all about good salesmanship. ‘Love marketing’. It’s just like selling a nice house or a big boat or a sleek new sports car. When you’re trying to get ‘lucky’, you’re putting your best ‘man-wares’ out there on the market and hoping somebody will be a ‘taker’. Any successful ‘love marketer’ will tell you that besides agonizing over all the details of preparation and worrying about making the best presentation of your life, one of the most important skills you need to learn is how to recognize ‘closing signals’. You have to know how to tell when your ‘pitch’ has worked, and the deal is ready to be closed…or put to bed, so to speak. So how can you tell when you’ve done a good job and you’ve got a ‘taker’ on the line? Well, for you potential ‘love marketers’ out there, here’s a few surefire signals to look for that show’s she’s definitely interested in what you’re ‘pitching’, and that you’re on the road to getting ‘lucky’:
1
She Makes Good Eye Contact:
2
She Compliments You:
3
‘Touchy-Feely’:
4
Body Language:
5
She Plays the ‘Wild Card’:
Dennis Hambright www.dennishambright.com
I’m not talking about one of those, “I’ve got something sharp in my pocket and you better go away before I use it,” stares. I mean when she looks at you with those soft, affectionate doe-eyes like she thinks you’re the cutest thing she’s seen in a month of Sundays (or at least tonight). And if she tilts her head and purrs, “Awwww,” when you say something she thinks is cute, you’re definitely on the right track.
No woman is ever going to waste her precious time telling you how nice you look, or how good your cologne smells, or how incredibly interesting you are unless she really wants to spend some quality time with you. She’s well aware of how much time and effort it took for her to get her ‘style on’, so there’s no way she’ll share that limelight with you unless she’s got a serious interest brewing.
Be sure you get some good come-ahead signals before you get into this area because it can definitely be some really dangerous territory. And guys don’t be an idiot about it. No fiddling with the buttons on her blouse or hooking your thumbs in her belt loops and pulling her closer to you. You might think it’s cute, but I guarantee, she won’t. Be a gentleman. Pay her sincere compliments, and then reach out and gently touch her arm or shoulder. If she doesn’t pull back or scream for security, then that’s good news. And if she reaches out and starts playing any kind of ‘touchy-feely’ with you, then you’re definitely on the road to closing the deal.
Learn the signals. If she leans in toward you when she’s talking, then she’s inviting herself into your personal space, and bringing you into hers. That’s a great signal! If she flips her hair back off her shoulders and bares her neck, that’s one of Mother Nature’s all time great indicators of amorous interest. Peacocks and hens fluff their feathers; women flip back their hair. (Yes, I know that will get boos and hisses from the peanut gallery, but its true!) But if she turns away when you’re talking, looks at her friends and rolls up her eyes, or stands with her arms folded across her chest like she’s guarding the Queen’s treasure, then take the hint and move along. Those are pretty good indicators that her next move will be to go for the pepper spray in her purse.
If she looks around like she’s trying to be discrete, and then pulls up or down any part of her clothing to show you a hidden tattoo, she’s showing you her ‘wild card’. Or, if she leans in and whispers intimate details about her love life, or starts sharing nasty little stories about herself, then wave for the check, pay the tab and ring the bell of victory. Congratulations, brother, you’ve officially become a successful ‘love marketer’!
August 19-25, 2009 15 blitzweekly.com
Courtesy: www.gadgetreview.com
Internet radio in the car Blaupunkt and miRoamer will announce the first in-dash Internet radio receiver. The press release we received says the radios will be offered as “built-in original equipment” but doesn’t go into detail about what automakers will offer the system or even how the radios receive the data. “The beauty of Internet car radio is the customized user experience,” said George Parthimos, Founder and CEO of miRoamer said in a press release. “Today, users want to jump in their car and go – no pulling out third-party devices or plugging in cords to access their music and information. miRoamer’s development with Blaupunkt is the first seamless Internet radio solution. Now, with the simple push of a button, users can access AM/FM stations or Internet radio’s thousands of music, entertainment, news and talk stations from around the world, all from the same car stereo.” Users of the new head units will be able to tune into Internet radio stations offered by miRoamer as well as add stations of their choosing by simply inputting the URL. The photo above is of Blaupunkt’s prototype New Jersey head unit.
Videophone for the deaf: The VPAD+
It’s nice to see a well-designed device that also addresses problems that many of us will never have to deal with, like being deaf. This wireless touchscreen videophone from Viable is a fully functioning videophone that also happens to have been designed by a deaf person. In fact, Viable is a deaf-owned company whose tablet-sized VPAD+ gives instant access to ViableVRS, a video-based telephone interpreting service that allows the user to use sign language with a skilled intermediary who then relays the phone conversation. The VPAD+ uses flashing LED lights for alerts and has Bluetooth connectivity as well as dual USB ports and A/V in/outs.
How Much Do You Love Your NFL? Richard Hunter Rational Radio AM 1360
I
don’t love The NFL more than my dog. I can assure you that your dog loves you more than The NFL. It’s time for you to decide where you stand. If you put one dollar into The NFL, Michael Vick gets paid. That message greets people who log on to richardhuntershow.com. Since Michael Vick has been signed by the Philadelphia Eagles, I have made it clear that I will have no association with The NFL as long as they employ Vick on any level. Don’t try to book me to appear at your Super Bowl watching party, and don’t ask me to interview your backup nose tackle on my radio show. Don’t offer me tickets to a game at Arlington’s latest corporate giveaway project, as I would feel dirty just by being there. How anybody could enjoy another moment of The National Football League knowing that their advertising and entertainment dollar is going to rebuild the fortune of a man who delighted in torturing and killing dogs is beyond me. However, the fact that I am in such a vast minority
Eton ARC FR600
If you’ve seen the current financial crisis as step one of an impending apocalypse (2012 anybody?) and since decided to bury your money somewhere in the deep woods, you may want to check out the new American Red Cross Solarlink FR600 by Etón before you go. This feature-packed radio gives you many options. Power? Choose between AC, battery, solar power, or the hand cranked dynamo. Radio? Use the digital tuner to dial up AM, FM, shortwave radio, all seven NOAA weather channels, and SAME (Specific Area Message Encoding), which gives you location based weather alerts in case that avalanche is headed your way. It also has an 1/8-inch input and a USB cellphone charger, so you can serenade some woodland creatures with the folk rock on your iPod and keep your BlackBerry up and running at the same time. What about when it gets dark? There’s also built in LED flashlight. Look for it in early 2009 now for $80. is exactly how such a reinstatement is allowed to happen in the first place. I first realized the depths of the problem when the most stand up guy that I know, my show’s producer Mike Turley, was confronted with this moral dilemma. For two years he had been with me every step of the way on calling for boycotts of Vick’s sponsors, as well as accountability for his crimes. I saw that cohesive spirit change this past week with Vick’s signing. When I asked Turley to join me in turning my back on The NFL, he balked. “I’m going to really root against Vick,” he said in hopes of using the volume of his boos to derail Vick’s momentum. After pointing out that any support of The NFL product would monetarily benefit Vick, he added, “I won’t even watch The Cowboys when they play The Eagles!” Now this was getting serious. Sadly though, there was no way to rationalize the choice of Michael Vick’s league over the dozens of dogs that he drowned, electrocuted, beat and hanged. The reason that this guy has a job today is because NFL commissioner Roger Goodell knows his customer base. One of my other coworkers even said that he would end his dog’s life prematurely if it were a choice between that and The NFL because his dog “only had a few years left anyway”. That, ladies and gentlemen, is America’s sports sickness. Turley wanted to do the right thing, but faced with the prospect of no NFL, he
looked like a young boy who had just been told that Christmas had been cancelled. If one superstar player had stood up and said that they refused to share a field with trash like Vick, he would never have been allowed back in the league. Instead, Tony Romo is busy breaking up with someone, and Donovan McNabb is going so far as to lobby for Vick’s inclusion. Understand that there is an inherent sickness in someone who delights in the torture of people or animals. The Nazis did it, and animals are always serial killers’ first victims. Those wires do not get uncrossed. There are heinous acts that rise beyond mistakes to the level of fundamental character flaws. To those who say that Michael Vick can “reach the kids” with his cautionary tale, why then aren’t the Dallas Cowboys sending Rafael Septien to local schools to talk to kids about how to avoid predators? It’s because there are some people that you just can’t reach. I call for them to be banished from the rest of us. NFL fans will support their exaltation every Sunday this fall, and Roger Goodell hears them loud and clear. So enjoy your football, and if your kid asks, tell him the sport is more important than his dog. Those ne’er do wells on the field may not be role models, but you’re stuck with it. The Richard Hunter Show airs weekdays 4-6pm on AM 1360 Dallas.
By: Sybil Summers
sybilsummers.com
Top 10 Hottest British Imports 10. Estelle Kickass style. Even better voice. 9. Kelly LeBrock I know she’s damn near 50, but when Wyatt & Gary got to create the ideal woman--this is what came out. “She burps and it’s like charming.” 8. Victoria Beckham Two words: sexy robot. 7. Catherine Zeta-Jones Two words: sexy mom. 6. Cheryl Cole Makes bubblegum pop more tolerable. 5. Keira Knightley Could stand to gain a few pounds, but I’d rather see a Keira-sized British chick than a Winslet-sized British chick. 4. Layla Kayleigh Backstage hostess of ABDC. She has since married a radio jock (bonus points) and is now pregnant with his child (minus points). 3. Emily Blunt She makes the accent look good. 2. Kate Beckinsale Remember the leather bodysuit in Underworld? ‘Nuff said. 1. Abbey Clancy She was runner-up in England’s version of Next Top Model, but she later starred in a U.S. reality show on VH1. Google her. With lotion.
August 19-25, 2009 17
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Blitz Weekly Funnies for the Week What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH? A blonde going through a flashing red light. A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, “Well…I can clearly see your nuts.” What do you call a cat with no arms and no legs? Dog food.
The Secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The Boss called her into his office and said, “Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?” Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, “My lawyer.”
“Daddy, Daddy, what’s a transvestite?” “Shut up and unhook my bra!”
Horrorscopes Horror
Leo (Jul. 23 - Aug. 22)
Sagittarius(Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr 19)
Your strange attraction to Pokémon will fail to score you a mate. You figure that you can put off washing your clothes for one more week.
Although it seems like everything is going well in your life, it is not. You can prevent a horrible event if you immediately take steps to prevent it by doing the following singing “Tomorrow” at a sporting event.
After getting hit by comet and surviving as a vegetable, you will develop amnesia and sleep with your father, only to find he actually quite liked it.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Taurus (Apr. 20 - May 20)
Time keeping has never been your strong point has it? Do not tell your daughter’s ugly spouse about your alien experience or the aliens will return and remove the remaining portions of your brain.
Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. That’s why you’ll never make anything of yourself. Tomorrow, at 9:01 AM, you will be attacked by 3368 bees and will be stung 319 times.
The tea leaves in the bottom of your cup do not bode well for you. During an unsuccessful prison escape attempt, you will have to crawl through 1230 feet of rat-infested sewer tunnels.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Gemini (May 21 - Jan. 21)
Your arrogance is disgusting. Unfortunately, you have trouble succeeding because you are incredibly lazy. Don’t do something stupid like the last time.
You are not very nice. You will be forced to heat your home during the winter. You’ve encountered many hardships in the last couple of months, and things are starting to seem harder and harder.
You are inclined to be careless and impractical, which causes you to make the same mistake over and over again. When all is said and done, when all the battles have been won, you were right.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mat. 20)
Cancer (Jun. 22 – Jul. 22)
You must be extremely careful for the next three weeks. Your company will sue you for damages and will win a judgement against you for 17 million dollars.
All colors are unlucky for you today, so it is advised that you walk around with your eyes closed at all times. You secretly do horrible things to small animals.
Your lack of ability to hear what people around you are saying will cause your uncle to commit you to an insane asylum. Paranoia has often gotten the better of you. In the past.
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DOWN 1. Blowgun missile 2. Chocolate cookie 3. Reflected sound 4. 180° from NNW 5. Produce buds 6. Hoarder 7. Test 8. Afflict 9. Look like 10. Swords 11. Irregular 12. Skin disease 13. Bygone 18. Enforce 23. Mangle 24. Soapy froth 25. Refine, as metal 26. False god 27. Not a single one 28. Sugar and aspartame 29. Yellowish-brown 31. Rescued 33. Chills and fever 34. Cousin of a gull 36. Relating to the stars 37. Flair 39. Concern 40. Plant life 42. Feel remorse for 43. Allegiance 44. Intelligent 45. Exploded stars 46. Bing, bang or boom 48. Fraud 49. Lack of difficulty 50. Mix 51. Pinnacle 54. Sixteen in Roman numerals 55. British rule in colonial India
ACROSS 1. Accomplishes 5. Besmirch 10. Wrestling in Japan 14. Circle fragments 15. Sprite 16. Freudian stage 17. Practices 19. 007 20. Also 21. Verse 22. Come forth 24. Egg on 25. Spruce up 26. Affront 29. Waylay 30. Primly out of date 31. Odor 32. Cereal grain 35. 1 1 1 1 36. Black 37. Border 38. Away from the wind 39. A cat-like mammal 40. Ground grain 41. Dealer 43. Pale yellowish 44. Smiled contemptuously 46. A gas found in some lights 47. Huckster 48. Fly high 49. Extra Sensory Perception 52. Affirm 53. Thrill 56. Scarce 57. Stop (nautical) 58. Largest continent 59. Exam 60. An Englishman 61. Yank
blitzweekly.com
18 August 19-25, 2009
by: Pat Moran
“Man On His Throne”
pmoran@gmail.com
Let’s Talk about the Weather
H
onestly, if I hear one more person complain about the weather I will probably spontaneously combust. Is there anything more stupid? Every day I hear tons and tons of complaints having to do with the weather, no matter what the temperature it is. First off, it’s August. You know what that means? It’s SUMMER. And what does Summer bring? Anyone? Yes, that’s right. Summer brings the heat. More importantly, it’s the middle of freaking August. I’m pretty sure that unless we go through another Ice Age, odds are that the middle of August will always be hot. ALWAYS. So don’t act all surprised or butt hurt by the fact that it’s hot. Nobody wants to hear you complain. NO ONE! Second, do you really think that you have any say in what the weather is like? I mean, obviously most of you do because you bitch and moan about it all the time. But really there is nothing more completely out of your hands than what the weather is like. You have absolutely no say whatsoever. So do everyone a favor and shut up. Finally, is there anyone more unnecessary than the weatherman? I mean, don’t get me wrong, everyone has a right to earn a living the best they can. I will admit that I really have no idea what the hell a “Meteorologist” truly does besides invest heavily in hair spray and face lifts. Oh, I know they help you “plan” for the week, but how often are they wrong? I would go so far as to say they are about as wrong as often as they are right. Here’s the deal. You are not going to complain about the weather anymore are you? Even if you find yourself in the midst of some awkward small talk, do yourself a favor and choose something other than the weather to bitch about. It’s going to be hot. It’s August. You don’t have to be a genius to figure that one out. Find something else to bitch about, like how small your brain is or the fact that you can’t get a girlfriend. Those things are much more fun for other people to mock you about.
Crossword Solution
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