Blitz February 2016 by Blitz Weekly

THE HAT TRICK National Signing Dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gamesmanship & Antics

The Kevin Sumlin Project

Super Bowl-Winning Back-Up Quarterbacks

FEBRUARY 2016

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

VOL. 9 - ISSUE 1

FEBRUARY 2016

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FEBRUARY 2016

VOL. 9 - ISSUE 1

2016

FE BRUARY

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INTELLIGENCE

5 Ken Griffey Jr. and Mike Piazza are heading to Cooperstown, but what about other players from the steroid era?

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7 The power that student-athletes at the collegiate level possess is much greater than we think. What would happen if they decided not to play in a big game? 8 National Signing Day is right around the corner and with it comes all of the gamesmanship and antics. 11 Local music artist Bobby Sessions is winning awards and moving up in the world. Learn what inspires him.

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14 Celebrate the Lunar New Year at these awesome Chinese restaurants. You can thank us later.

10723 Composite Dr. Dallas, TX 75220 Publisher and Editor Staff Photographers Kelly G. Reed Dominic Ceraldi, Michael Kolch, Rick Leal, Sandy McAnally Features Director Amber LaFrance Staff Writers Peter Gerstenzang, Frank LaCosta, Sports Editor Lance LeVan, Chris Sick Lance Rinker Contributing Photographers/Artists Copy Chief Michael Effiong, Julien Jeanneau, Mark Miller Eva Rinaldi, Roberto Rizzato, Creative Director Travis Shin, Jose Manuel Rios Valiente Jette Stephens Contributing Writers Sarah Badran, Wendell Barnhouse, Photo Editor Taylor C. Berrier, Paul A. Esquivel, Darryl Briggs James Grahovac, Henry Jenkins, Cover Design Andrew J. Hewett, Lew Patton, Jette Stephens Alan Sculley, Darius Williams

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17 You have a smartphone so it’s time for you to start making money with some apps. 18 Feel like music has lost its soul and is spiraling downward into decay? Well, you’re not the only one.

Julien Jeanneau Model: Melissa

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SELECTIVE ELECTION

Making the National Baseball Hall of Fame Seems to Depend on Your Crime At the Time BY MARK MILLER – @MARKMYWORDSTEX

ection 5 of the Baseball Writers Association of America’s Rules for Election to the National Baseball Hall of Fame states:

than one week later. Rules state no more than 40 candidates may be considered in any year with voters limited to 10 candidates with no write-ins allowed.

Voting shall be based upon the player’s record, playing ability, integrity, sportsmanship, character, and contributions to the team(s) on which the player played.

KEN GRIFFEY JR.

Implemented in 1945, the rule is supposed to “apply to how the game was played on the field, more so than character off the field” according to the Voting Rules History section of the Hall of Fame’s website, baseballhall.org. Let’s face it, if everyone who had committed some sort of sin against baseball on the field were included, some of the biggest names in history would not be members of the hallowed shrine. Remember the game in Yankee Stadium when George Brett was famously caught using pine tar on his bat? How about Gaylord Perry, who was suspended for 10 days for doctoring baseballs. Some people believed Ty Cobb intentionally tried to hurt other players with his feet-first, spikes-high slides. And off the field, Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle were known to love alcohol.

Bonds, Clemens and Sosa again received enough votes to remain on the ballot next year, the fifth year each will be eligible with Sosa barely making it with just 7 percent. However, McGwire’s time on the regular ballot is up after only 10 years, a victim of a 2014 change that lowered the eligibility limit for years after retirement from 20 to 15 (he retired after the 2001 season). Those grandfathered to the ballot this year were Alan Trammell and Lee Smith.

MIKE PIAZZA

McGwire and Trammell will now move to the Era Committee system which has no time limit for consideration. Palmeiro had to go that route in 2014 when he only received 25 votes (4.4 percent). Both he and McGwire now are the only players to hit at least 500 home runs to be removed from the ballot. There’s still a chance though that Clemens and Bonds, to most the best pitcher and hitter of their era, will one day be elected as evidenced by their increasing voting percentages. Clemens, for example, received 37.6 percent in his first year of eligibility in 2013, a number that has gone up every year to 45.2 this year. Bonds too reached his highest vote total this year at 44.3 percent. But in Schoenfield’s and other’s minds, the increases were small enough to merit them just a slim possibility of making it.

All are members of the Baseball Hall of Fame. Pitcher Roger Clemens and sluggers Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa have as good or even better on-field statistics as the above all-time greats and many others already enshrined in Cooperstown, New York. Yet none have been elected and it’s entirely possible none ever will. Their crime – they were the poster children for the era of performance-enhancing drugs more commonly known as steroids. Some from that era, like McGwire, Jason Giambi, and Andy Pettitte, eventually admitted their guilt. Others – like Bonds, Clemens, Palmeiro, and Sosa – have not done so yet.

Much will depend on their competition. Most likely players like Jeff Bagwell (who received 71.6 percent in his fourth year of eligibility), Tim Raines (69.8 in his ninth), and Trevor Hoffman (67.3 in his first) will get in before the steroid group. Among those eligible next year if they remain retired include Vladimir Guerrero, Jorge Posada, and Manny Ramirez, and Pudge Rodriquez.

With such a vague definition of integrity, sportsmanship, and character, it’s truly up to each individual voter on what these criteria means to he or she. So who decides who makes it and who doesn’t? Since its inception in 1936, a select group of BBWAA members, that’s who. Those voting for the charter group chose Cobb and Ruth along with Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, and Honus Wagner. Elections through 1939 were held annually, every three years until 1945, annually from 1946-56, every other year from 1957-1965 and annually ever since. In 2014, the criteria was changed so only those who have actively covered the game for the past 10 years would be eligible with a 10-year grace period for those no longer active. The new rules that sought to take away voting rights from old-timers who haven’t covered the game in eons reduced the eligible membership by 109 this year. According to ESPN senior writer David Schoenfield, those who under the new rules could no longer vote typically chose fewer members and none of the steroid-era players. Voters generally receive their ballots in early November with a Dec. 31 deadline to return them. The results are announced less

There were 32 names on the 2016 ballot. Ken Griffey Jr. was among 15 first-timers who joined 17 holdovers, including Mike Piazza, who remained eligible because they received at least 5 percent of the vote in 2015. They were the only two who made it this year.

ROGER CLEMENS

BARRY BONDS

First-timers in 2018 include Chipper Jones, Jim Thome, and Omar Vizquel. Eligible in 2019 include Pettitte, Mariano Rivera and Michael Young. In 2020, the prime candidate will be Derek Jeter. Interestingly, two eligible voters with the Dallas Morning News – Tim Cowlishaw and Rick Gosselin – revealed in the paper’s Jan. 3 issue they had voted for both Clemens and Bonds. A third – Evan Grant – didn’t vote for either. That just proves what a subjective and inexact science it is deciding who makes it and who doesn’t. Shamefully, it’s a system that has never elected anyone unanimously. Not Nolan Ryan (98.79 percent), Cal Ripken Jr. (98.5), Brett (98.2), Hank Aaron (97.8), Cobb (98.2), Johnny Bench (96.4), Ruth (95.1), Willie Mays (94.7), Ted Williams (93.4), Stan Musial (93.2), Joe DiMaggio (88.8) or Mantle (88.2). The 99.31 percent (437 of 440) received by Griffey this year is the highest percentage ever beating the 98.83 by Tom Seaver. Perfect or not, the system is here to stay. If nothing else, it sure does spur plenty of debate by anyone who loves baseball. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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The Shortlist: Super Bowl-Winning Back-Up Quarterbacks BY LANCE RINKER – @LANCEMRINKER regular season. The magic didn’t stop there as Plunkett went on to earn Super Bowl MVP honors in a 27-10 thumping of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Think fast. How many Super Bowl championships have been won on the arm of a back-up quarterback? Yeah, not many.

DOUG WIILLIAMS, 1987

It wasn’t until the 1971 season where we saw the first No. 2 quarterback lead his team to a Super Bowl victory. That was none other than National Football League Hall of Famer and Dallas Cowboys legend Roger Staubach, of course. Granted, it was just the sixth official Super Bowl of the NFL era, but still impressive nonetheless.

Doug Williams is well-regarded in NFL history for helping change the landscape of the game as far as black quarterbacks were concerned. He proved a big, mobile body of a man could win in the NFL under center and the fact he did it while being black at a position largely regarded (at the time) for white men made it even more remarkable.

Today, it would be difficult to imagine a back-up quarterback helping lead a team to a Super Bowl victory. For one, the position just isn’t very deep. There are perhaps eight quarterbacks in the league right now who you could consider truly elite and would feel 100 percent confident in being the difference maker in a Super Bowl.

Williams only started two games during the 1987 season, losing them both. However, Joe Gibbs believed in him enough to start him in the playoffs over Jay Schroeder and Williams’ play elevated the Redskins to a championship in Super Bowl XXII.

JEFF HOSTETLER, 1990

After the top tier of elitists, the ones who carry an entire franchise on their backs, you’ve got about 10 others who could get you there, but not on their own. Then just about every starting quarterback left could be considered replaceable by a high draft pick at the position or potentially replaceable by a journeyman or young back-up quarterback with a ceiling previously unreached.

In what is likely one of the more impressive playoff runs, Jeff Hostetler and the New York Giants managed to knock off the wildly-favored Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXV (though everyone was knocking off the Bills at the time). Even more impressive then his showing during the ‘big’ game, Hostetler managed to overcome the great Joe Montana and the San Francisco 49ers in the National Football Conference championship game after Phil Simms broke his foot.

Enough of me waxing and waning on the lack of depth at the most important position in the NFL. Let’s dive into the seven back-up quarterbacks in NFL history who didn’t earn or weren’t given the starting job in the preseason and managed to help their team win a Super Bowl.

TRENT DILFER, 2000 The one Super Bowl-winning quarterback who gets the most flack for having a Super Bowl ring is Trent Dilfer. Before Alex Smith earned the moniker ‘Captain Check Down,’ there was Dilfer proving to the entire world a quarterback could guide a team to a championship by playing conservatively, not making boneheaded decisions, and simply taking the path of least resistance on his team’s way to a score of some kind.

Apologies to Kurt Warner and the start of the Greatest Show on Turf in 1999. Warner took over for an injured Trent Green during the preseason and was the starter to begin the regular season, so he just misses the cut.

ROGER STAUBACH, 1971 One of the greatest quarterbacks in Dallas Cowboys history wasn’t even the starter during the Cowboys Super Bowl championship run in 1971. He played second fiddle to Craig Morton, who wasn’t necessarily a great quarterback but because he could take a beating and continuously get back up he was considered pretty solid at the time. Morton was the Cowboys’ starter for the first three weeks of the 1971 season, but after stumbling against their division rival Washington Redskins in Week 3, Staubach was given his opportunity in Week 4. Staubach made the most of it and guided the Cowboys to a 24-3 victory over the Miami Dolphins in Super Bowl VI.

TERRY BRADSHAW, 1974 It’s crazy to think Terry Bradshaw is revered as one of the greatest quarterbacks to don a Pittsburgh Steelers uniform, and is a Hall of Famer, even SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

Dilfer replaced Tony Banks in the Baltimore Ravens huddle in Week 9 of the 2000 season. After losing his first game he went on to rattle off 11-straight victories behind one of the most dominant defenses in NFL history. He also managed to lead the 34-7 drubbing of the Giants in Super Bowl XXXV. though his play at the quarterback position was up and down and mostly uninspiring throughout the bulk of his career. Nevertheless, Bradshaw rode the bench in favor of Joe Gilliam for the Steelers’ first six games of the 1974 season after being unable to hold the starting job through the first four years of his career. Once he got his first start in Week 7, however, he went on to help the Steelers win Super Bowl IX which happened to be the first

of four Steelers titles in the next six years with Bradshaw as the starter.

JIM PLUNKETT, 1980 Jim Plunkett had a marvelous college career that includes being a Heisman Trophy winner, though that success didn’t translate to the NFL all that consistently. Plunkett replaced Dan Pastorini in Week 6 of the 1980 season when the Oakland Raiders were 2-3. Once Plunkett took over, he led the Raiders to a 9-2 record to close out the

TOM BRADY, 2001 Tom Brady’s legend began once Drew Bledsoe went down in Week 2 of the 2001 season. That was the only opening Brady needed to prove an undersized quarterback from an underwhelming college program at the time could do great things. Brady and the New England Patriots went on to upset the St. Louis Rams, lead a dynasty, star in multiple commercials, marry a super model or five, and ultimately become the face of the NFL.

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What Happens If the College Sports Mu$ic Stops? BY WENDELL BARNHOUSE – @WBBARNHOUSE osa Parks and Martin Luther King inspired the Civil Rights movement through sit-ins and marches. Those peaceful protests helped launch the 1964 Civil Rights Act. There are subtle indications bubbling below the surface that a similar historic movement is needed in college sports. While the conferences, networks, commissioners and coaches continue to make bank – big bank – student-athletes, particularly those in football and men’s basketball, earn piggy bank small change. Considering how much faster the world spins (figuratively) than it did in the late 1950s and early 1960s, there is a chance there will be a galvanizing event sooner rather than later.

the compensation issue or with the employeevs.-student issue. The tension in the system isn’t going to go away anytime soon.” Those were the words of Big 12 Conference Commissioner Bob Bowlsby. He made those remarks during a speech at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C., in September. Bowlsby’s prediction didn’t get much attention because it came in the first month of the college football season in front of an audience who didn’t understand the potential impact if Bowlsby’s vision comes true. There is power that is evident but not yet harnessed. That power is the student-athletes’ ability to remove themselves from the competition equation by boycotting games. The

members – announced they were boycotting practice. The decision was made in support of student protests, including one student’s hunger strike, about how African-American students on campus were treated. With the threat of a forfeit that would cost the school $1 million, the football team’s protest lasted about 48 hours and ended with the resignation of the school president and chancellor. (The Grambling State boycott’s impact was lessened by the fact it occurred at an HBU and didn’t involve the cancellation of a televised game. The Missouri boycott had more impact but the news was quickly swallowed by the coverage of how the media was treated during Missouri students’ subsequent protests plus the football coach’s resignation a few days later.)

We’re between the recently-completed College Football Playoff and the National Collegiate Athletic Association men’s basketball tournament. Both events have television contracts in the billions. Coaches at the top of both sports have contracts worth $5-$7 million. The NCAA is financed by its March Madness television contract.

But what if the players in the NCAA championship game in Houston on April 4 walk out for the opening tip, watch the ball tossed… and then walk back to the benches to sit for 30 minutes? What if the Alabama and Clemson players had decided to stay in their locker rooms for an extra 15 minutes at halftime? A unified, nationally-televised work stoppage would draw attention. Think this is a crazy notion? “But the fact is – and it probably will be in the sport of men’s basketball – there will be a day in the future when the popcorn is popped, the TV cameras are there, the fans are in the stands and the team decides they’re not going to play. Mark my words. We will see that in the years ahead. We saw some of it for other reasons in the ’70s, but I really believe that we aren’t finished with

Anthony was the senior point guard and unquestioned leader of the Runnin’ Rebels. You don’t think he would have been angry enough to organize a protest/boycott? Those who run college sports trumpet recent increased and improved benefits for studentathletes. Sure, they now get unlimited meals and have been granted cost-of-attendance stipends worth around $5,000. But the disconnect is obvious. During the IMG Intercollegiate Athletic Forum in December, North Carolina State University athletic director Debbie Yow voiced a concern about cost-of-attendance stipends. “You try to teach student-athletes about financial literacy, but know you failed when you see them on their new hover board,” she said.

NCAA President Mark Emmert earns $1.7 million per year. The commissioners of the five power conferences who run the CFP have seen salary increases of 379 percent over the last decade. Their yearly salaries range from $2 million to $3.4 million. “The current model will only be ‘broken’ for as long as the athletes themselves allow it to remain that way,” former University of California and National Football League linebacker Scott Fujita told the Washington Post. “There’s no governing body that’s going to fix it. It must be the players. And as more players realize the power they can wield, and once they can organize around the common purpose of the change they seek, that’s when things will begin to shift.”

violation. Anthony, a summertime Congressional intern who was double-majoring in business and political science, gave up his scholarship, worth roughly $12,000. The NCAA subsequently ruled he still couldn’t operate his own business, because – in theory – a booster could funnel money into the enterprise, another amateurism no-no.”

Yow makes $690,000. When she left her previous job as the University of Maryland’s athletic director, the athletic department was $83 million in debt; that eventually led to the school cutting seven men’s and women’s sports.

athletic contests are the engine of a billion-dollar industry. But the student-athletes – the fuel for that engine – receive pennies on the dollar. Two examples of the influence student-athletes have when organized: • In October 2013, Grambling State University’s football players boycotted two days of practice and forfeited a game with Jackson State University. The players’ complaints came after popular coach Doug Williams was dismissed and also included substandard facilities, unhealthy conditions and long bus rides. The school’s funding, which like many other historically black universities lags far behind larger schools, had been slashed thanks to the Louisiana legislature. • Two years later, University of Missouri football players – led by nearly 50 African-American

There are numerous tales, all with fuzzy, unconfirmed facts, that University of NevadaLas Vegas players planned to boycott the 1991 NCAA championship game. The Runnin’ Rebels were the defending champs, their beloved coach Jerry Tarkanian had been battling the NCAA in court for over two decades, and they were an undefeated power house favored to win back-toback titles. Duke’s upset of UNLV in the semifinals ended any chance of a prime-time protest and no one involved has verified if a plan existed.

Yow’s comment was followed by this comment from University of Alabama athletic director Bill Battle, who doubled down on the idea of a frivolous use of COA stipends by saying the money is used on “tattoos and rims.” Battle, who makes $620,000 a year, failed to note the racial implications when he later explained his comment was a “frivolous statement that was meant to be cute.” The commissioners who tell us that providing more money (in other words, paying) studentathletes won’t work are the same people who decided it was a good idea to play College Football Playoff semifinals on New Year’s Eve. The ratings tanked and ESPN had to pay $20 million in “make goods” to advertisers.

But consider this from a Sports On Earth story published on April 8, 2013:

Who do you trust? Not those folks.

“UNLV guard Greg Anthony, who was financially supporting his cancer-stricken mother and hemophiliac sister, had founded a lucrative T-shirt printing company. The NCAA told Anthony he couldn’t keep his basketball scholarship and operate his own business. Amateurism

Currently, the discontent among the “workers” has yet to foment into an organized revolution. When student-athletes realize they have power when they present a unified front, don’t be surprised if your national championship game is interrupted by a boycott. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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THE HAT TRICK National Signing Day’s Gamesmanship and Antics

BY DARIUS WILLIAMS – @FINESSE3380 The scene is one that has become very familiar around this time of year as we approach February. Some athletically-gifted 17-year-old young man stands in front of television cameras at one of the many post-season all-star games played these days. He’s always accompanied by his parents and perhaps even his siblings. A reporter gives a brief rundown of the athlete’s high school career which is front and center at that moment. It usually is at this point that you see the five baseball caps in front of the player, each representing a university longing for his services. As the question of which major college campus he will be displaying his athletic gifts gets asked by the reporter, he will gaze down at the five hats in deep thought. After all, trying to decide between the University of Alabama, Louisiana State University, University of Florida, University of Texas and University of Southern California could stall the most decisive of men.

the next three to five years is one that has intrigued those who closely follow both college and high school football. Seeing a local kid go off to do great things in college even captivates those who hold no allegiances to the sport in particular. Long gone are the days when Throckmorton High School star Bob Lilly in 1957 decided to attend Texas Christian University and mailed in his letter of intent to the Fort Worth, Texas, campus. No cameras were present on his family’s farm as he was baling hay to see if Southern Methodist University was going to steal him away. There was no publication detailing his every visit to a campus and what all he ate while on his visits. The overload of information we have on the players now has reached extreme levels. With all the attention comes a sense to play up to all the pomp and circumstances surrounding National Signing Day.

Knowing all along that LSU is his choice, he first will reach for the USC cap. Maybe realizing he won’t fit in with the fast pace of Los Angeles, suddenly he then decides the Florida cap is the one he will grab and fold the brim of to show his swagger. Well hold up, Gainesville won’t be his new place of residence either as he puts the Florida cap back down on the table. Deciding to end the suspense, he finally grabs the LSU purple and gold cap and utter the words made famous by Cleveland Cavaliers great LeBron James. “I am taking my talents to (fill in the blank).”

In 1989, the way an athlete decided to announce his college choice changed forever. These changes can be traced to David W. Carter High School in Dallas. Coming off a controversial run to a state championship, one later rescinded, the team’s two best players decided signing their letters of intent in the auditorium, counselors’ office, lunch room or coach’s office would not be the route they chose. Both having All-America labels attached to them and considered the very best the country had to offer, linebacker Jesse Armstead along with free safety Derric Evans put on a show.

The greatly-anticipated day where we get to see where this country’s most talented high school football players will be spending

It’s hard to say Armstead’s press conference was a humbling experience for him. He rented out a banquet hall at the ritzy Loews Anatole

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

on the outskirts of downtown Dallas and unofficially became the inventor of the “hat trick’’ to the amazement of those watching on television and those who were there in person. Armstead chose the University of Miami, unveiling a No. 1 Hurricane jersey in the process. Evans decided to go with less clothing while scripting his ‘John Hancock’ on documents from the University of Tennessee. It could have been all the tension and stress from the hundreds of phones calls and letters from college coaches that led him to believe he should sign his letter of intent in comforts of a jacuzzi in his family’s home. With gold necklaces dangling while he wore a biker’s tight outfit that looked like it came straight from Tour de France champion Greg Lemond’s closet, Evans kick-started the trend of “oneupping” the competition. Even to this day as a movie hit the big screen this past fall about the very team for which Armstead and Evans played, the directors made sure to re-enact the jacuzzi scene signing of Evans. Not everyone is putting on these public displays of “look at me.” Many follow suit with the school district in which they played and join all other signees usually in a gymnasium or civic center of some sort. They already have verbally committed prior to the day, killing all suspense in the process. They all show up wearing the caps of their chosen colleges. A quick signing and then they are whisked away into the hands of a representative of that the college to begin the clearinghouse process. The self-centered ‘5 Star’ prospect will find this an unfulfilling way to choose where he will further his education. Take for instance last year. The No. 3 overall rated recruit in the

country, defensive end Byron Cowart, went on national television to announce his decision to sign with Auburn University. The 6-foot-3inch, 280 pound man-child was decked out in a well-tailored suit with accessories matching Auburn’s colors. An astonished crowd gathered inside the gymnasium was surprised to see him walk in with a doll. Now we aren’t talking about a Barbie Doll or anything of that nature, but a Chucky doll from the movie Child’s Play. The relevance of this stunt was to play off of Auburn defensive coordinator Will Muschamp, with whom folks always have associated his image. I can recall a time when you found out the day after National Signing Day where a recruit was going to attend college. There was no drama leading up to his decision. The ridiculous nature in which such a life-altering decision is being made now should embarrass those closely associated with these players. Somewhere floating around the Internet you can find a few recruits announcing their decision in the form of a rap video. How idiotic is that? Parents seem to have bought into the selfish nature of the whole college selecting process. Not only are they providing misguided insight on the pros and cons of the schools their sons are interested in, they also have become part of the show. Remember a few years back when All-America defensive back Landon Collins announced that he would be signing with Alabama instead of his home state school of LSU? Enter his mother. Knowing that millions could be tuned in to this moment, she decided to show visibly her disgust with Landon’s decision. She immediately dropped her head

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and tuned out on the rest of his speech about why he was choosing the Crimson Tide. Her ties to the Tigers must run deep because she initially refused to sign his letter of intent. The moment for her 15 minutes of fame was there as she was the talk of her son’s biggest day up to that point. A parent’s role should be to help guide their kid through the rigorous process of trying to decide which school best fits their abilities and offer them the best opportunity to succeed academically. It is the athlete who has to make that campus his home away from home nine months out of a year for the next four to five years. It all feeds into the ego of a young man who has been told he was great since his first touchdown way back in flag football. It propels those who do become fortunate enough to warrant scholarship offers to announce it in grand style. A few years back, along with the hat trick, we had the ‘Superman’ stunt of ripping the buttondown top shirt open to reveal the school of their choice. Can you recall one highly-ranked recruit letting his toddler daughter make his decision by having her reach into a bowl containing his five choices, only to pick the one he least-wanted to attend? There have been some embarrassing moments that brought laughter to those of us watching. One particular recruit had his choices on placards with the name of each school neatly placed on each placard. One of his choices was a school nobody had heard of: “Michigan University” does not exist. The University of Michigan does, however. I find it hard to blame the kids for what is going on today with National Signing Day. What used to consume an extra two minutes on a local sports broadcast about that day now has nationally-syndicated shows covering not only what every player ranked on Rivals Top 300 list has as the leader to get his services,

FEBRUARY 2016

but what they tweeted and what school their girlfriend is going to attend. Coaches following potential recruits on social media has recently become a trend. Trying to gain a heads up over the competition by playing to a kid’s ego on Twitter can lead to a ‘4 Star’ strong safety for a university I assume. You can’t expect humbleness from a kid who has been hounded by schools with players he may have grew up idolizing since he was a freshman. It immediately places him in a world unlike that he sits in daily. A sense of entitlement comes when you as a head coach of a major university place a call to a potential recruit just before you hit the field for a nationally-televised bowl game like Oklahoma’s Barry Switzer did to Billy Sims back in 1975. Alabama’s Nick Saban calling anyone right now after winning his fifth national championship probably makes the most modest of kids a little self-centered I would imagine. There used to be only one source of national ranking to which we knew who the top players in America were and that was the USA Today list that would come out annually around the signing period. There would be a brief scouting look at each of the 100 players listed. Today we have upwards of 20 different recruiting sources that produce their own lists of the top players many go as far to list and rank 500 players. More outlets means more recognition on a national level for a kid who likes reading about his greatness. I looked at one well-respected recruiting source that had its No. 22-ranked player nationally come in as the best player on another source’s list. It’s just a free for all to feed the egos negatively to a bunch of kids who just received their permits to operate a vehicle. Can you imagine if Lilly was making his decision on where to attend college in today’s climate? Mailing his letter of intent wouldn’t

suffice at all. Being a farm boy and all, maybe Lilly could be milking cows while making his announcement. Better yet, maybe Lilly could play off that old ‘hat trick’ and go with the ‘hay trick’…have his five choices placarded on a bales of hay and choose his school by loading up one in the barn of his final decision. I know the visual of that looks crazy, but not any crazier than some of what goes on today. I was a sophomore in high school back in 1989 when both Armstead and Evans changed the world of National Signing Day. The 16-year-old in me found it both entertaining and on the cutting edge. An athlete at the time myself,

I immediately got to thinking about what crazy and outlandish act I was gonna pull while I penned my letter of intent. Times were different then and doing something more than the standard way often was frowned upon. Who knows if those two standout players knew what they were getting started some 27 years ago. Even with the flamboyant and self-serving nature in which they announced to the world their decision to attend college, today they must see a recruit’s homemade rap video to the tune of a Lil Wayne song as utterly ridiculous as the rest of the world does.

Daylon Mac

as, Hal r e l Ty sker i an, t Ry ane Pe t a M h : S r ina, l to ing y Bech t t i S t Mar

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THE KEVIN SUMLIN PROJECT WILL CHANGING OFFENSIVE COORDINATORS CHANGE AGGIES’ FORTUNES? BY LEW PATTON – @LEWP So Kevin Sumlin was a hot ticket when he first got to College Station. Everyone loved him. He made a huge splash because of Johnny Football. But since Manziel left Texas A&M University, a lot has happened, most of it going south. Everyone divides the Sumlin era by Manziel. At first glance, the pre- and post-Johnny thing doesn’t look that bad: 10-6 in the Southeast Conference with Manziel, 6-8 in the SEC postManziel. The idea would suggest Johnny was worth about two SEC wins a year, which seems about right. In Sumlin’s first year as head coach, the Aggies won three road games against ranked opponents, upset the University of Alabama, went 6-2 in conference, beat the brakes off No. 11 University of Oklahoma in the Cotton Bowl and won 11 games.

the offensive attacks at the University of Houston and Oklahoma State University supplied Spavital with enough knowledge to coach quarterbacks for two seasons with the Mountaineers. During his short career, Spavital had coached Case Keenum, Brandon Weeden and Geno Smith in pass-happy systems. It is well documented that three quality quarterbacks have left Texas A&M after Johnny Football took his Heisman Trophy and ran to the pros. You have to begin to lay some blame with Spavital because he was the OC right? I haven’t liked the Aggies’ offense since Manziel left. Seems to me passing too much in any league is a bad idea. I imagine the good SEC teams knew the Aggies were a pass-first kind of offense, so they just laid back and waited to take advantage of their young quarterbacks. And the Aggies have been relying too much on inexperienced

offensive coordinator Noel Mazzone is going to be a key figure in Sumlin’s success or failure.

“He and Taylor are almost like best friends,” people have said. “They’re almost like the same person.”

Mazzone is not scared; he’s not inclined to hold back as with a lot of coordinators. He will play loose, play aggressive, never let up. He will bring a quick pace, high-octane offense utilizing every skill-position player on the field to catch and run with the football – making it simple for the players.

That closeness allows Noel Mazzone to essentially coach his quarterbacks even when he’s not coaching his quarterbacks. Taylor is an extension of Noel, closely adhering to his philosophies and techniques.

His offenses are not line up and just beat you up front, like LSU or Alabama have been, where they have to do that to win. He can mix it up. They throw a lot of quick passes. His quarterbacks complete a high percentage of passes. It’s quarterback-friendly. He does like to run the football, but it’s a pass-first offense. For Aggies fans weary of more drama out of the quarterback position, many people believe they may have found just the right person.

Since, they’re 5-9 vs. ranked teams, and their division record is trending south. They’re 0-for vs. Louisiana State University since joining the conference. They’ve lost three straight to Alabama, consecutive losses to the University of Mississippi and two of their last three with Auburn University. To be fair, Sumlin had a pretty good offensive coordinator in Kliff Kingsbury who did so well at his job, Texas Tech University hired him as its head coach. I believe that was a major move and as a result the Aggies hired Jake Spavital as the new OC. One of college football’s youngest coaches, Spavital was promoted to offensive coordinator at Texas A&M prior to the Chick-fil-A Bowl in December 2013 and the move resulted in 52 points for the Aggies in Manziel’s final college game. Considered an elite up-and-comer on the offensive side of the ball, Spavital learned the ropes from several “Air Raid” advocates including Dana Holgersen at the University of West Virginia prior to joining Sumlin’s staff. A former quarterback at Missouri State University, Spavital’s coaching career kicked off in 2008 at the University of Tulsa where he worked under Gus Malzahn on offense. A year each mastering SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

Their effectiveness mentoring quarterbacks was displayed this season with UCLA true freshman Josh Rosen who completed 60 percent of his passes on almost 500 attempts, with 23 touchdowns and 11 interceptions. Rosen was able to come in and establish himself to play early this year, to play well early, I think that’s a sign of how simple and great Noel Mazzone’s offense can be. Mazzone had better prove effective immediately. Aggies fans are becoming restless, and they don’t want to hear about growing pains or learning curves. The Aggies need to win now if Mazzone and Sumlin want to spend 2017 in College Station. Lots of fans think that’s possible: With a guy like Trevor Knight, Texas A&M could make a quick, quick turnaround. I also believe Mazzone’s experience will allow Sumlin to be a better head coach.

quarterbacks. If you recruit a quarterback who has never lost a game in high school, throw him in a pass-happy offense in the best division in college football, and then the kid throws interceptions, heck yeah he’s gonna want to transfer out of there. Which brings up the question, why have so many good young quarterbacks quit on the team? My answer (and we may really never know) is the coaching staff didn’t support the quarterbacks enough. The coaching staff didn’t put the players in a wining situation, making them live and die by the passing game. I think they should have had a better running game, and then the Aggies’ passing game would have been better. What about the future of Texas A&M? This will be a make or break year for Sumlin. It’s going to be up to a successful offense. New

He relates to players extremely well. With a lot of coaches, there’s distance between them and the players. They like to create distance. Mazzone is like a kid in a lot of regards. Everybody loves him, loves hanging out with him as much as they love playing for him. In college, time is limited. If you like your coach, you’re going to want to spend more time with him, get more information out of him. You’ll be better as a by-product of that relationship. That’s where Mazzone wins every time. He’s such a good dude. He’s so much fun. He’s simple and he lets the quarterback play. An important component to Mazzone’s coaching effectiveness is his son Taylor, who will serve as the Aggies’ quarterbacks coach, as he did at the University of California-Los Angeles.

Sumlin had a lot of pressure on him. He’s had to do everything at A&M. I think Texas A&M wants to have him not have to do everything. Now Sumlin can relax and delegate the offense to Mazzone. Sumlin can be the head guy who can go recruit, do all the things he needs to do and let Mazzone run the offense. In addition to coaching football, Mazzone is a successful entrepreneur. He has developed the “NZone System,” a coaching resource for high school coaches offering instruction into his offensive philosophy, play-calling, terminology, coaching techniques and more. Aggies fans don’t need Mazzone to be college football’s version of Jillian Michaels selling how-to DVDs by the millions. A trip to Atlanta for the SEC championship would do just fine. Hopefully, this will be the ticket to get the Aggies to the Promised Land.

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Bobby Sessions Lives Out His Law of Attraction BY SARAH BADRAN – @THEHUMBLEHUSTLER

ON THE LAST DAY OF 2014, the now 23-year-old Bobby Sessions quit his job with $50 to his name, on a mission to pursue his passion for music fulltime. Little did he know that jumping faith first into his dreams would set in motion one of the most promising years of his life. In 2015 he released his highly-anticipated debut album L.O.A. (aka Law of Attraction), received a 2015 Dallas Observer Music Award “Best Song” nomination for his single “Black America,” packed Trees for a sold-out album release show, and signed a deal with record label High Standardz. This year is looking promising for this kid. Raised in Pleasant Grove, a city just a few minutes east of downtown Dallas, Sessions found inspiration through listening to artists like N.E.R.D., Nas, Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, and his all-time favorite rapper Jay-Z. It wasn’t until college that he realized he may have a future as a rapper.

With all the hype surrounding his new album, Sessions remains humble and claims he still has more to accomplish. He finds it odd when people tell him he is special as he believes he is simply serving his divine purpose. The artist’s creative process begins with meditation and motivational videos. Sessions reads books and compares notes with other writers and his peers, taking inspiration from athletes and other musicians he admires. “Believing in yourself is normal. I am created to be exceptional,” he said. “I maximize on everything I have and I’m focused so I can do anything I want to the best of my ability. I think that’s normal, not special.”

Throughout the creative process on L.O.A., Sessions made it a point to reach out to some of his favorite local artists whom he is lucky to also call friends. Featured on the album are Slim Gravy of the recently split rap duo A.Dd+ on “Helicopters,” Funk Volume’s Jarren Benton on “Grind or Die,” Donny Domino and Zyah on “Piece of Peace” and “Unlimited Unleaded/High Speed,” and Freddy Sans on “Am I Dumb?” Sessions credits Dallas’ own Donny Domino, Topic, X, The Misfit, and Blue, The Misfit’s production skills as the glue that holds this album together. From start to finish, L.O.A. flawlessly takes you on the journey that is the Bobby Sessions experience, introducing each listener to the uniquely creative being that is Bobby Sessions.

BY JAMES GRAHOVAC – @BLITZWEEKLY There’s that saying that “celebrities always die in threes” but in our case the music world lost four key players recently. Each one contributed significantly to music and pop culture and their sudden departure made its impact. They may be gone but not forgotten… Alvaro Garcia

“When choosing a new artist to work with I always choose an artist with a unique voice and Bobby epitomizes that to me,” said Chapa. “From the perspective of what he has to say lyrically to his voice itself and how it sounds on the record, both of those things made it a no brainer to me. I admire his work ethic and passion and his drive to be great that not every artist has.” Sessions told The Blitz it was important for him to incorporate as much talent from Dallas to introduce unity, as opposed to competition, within the local music scene. “The Dallas (music) scene is about to explode!” Sessions said. “We all need each other to keep growing. Dallas needs a big name, why not me?”

“Brain Gang” eventually disassembled into solo endeavors for its members and Sessions was left to figure out what the future had in store. Honing in on his craft and unique lyrical style, Sessions carved out his own lane and wrote vigorously to create L.O.A., a now critically-acclaimed album stock piled with hit after hit. When seeking inspiration for his newly-released project, the artist referred to The Secret, a documentary centered on the law of attraction and positive thoughts to increase one’s overall health, wealth and happiness.

It’s clear that Bobby Sessions is on a roll with no signs of slowing down and we can’t wait to see what 2016 has in store. For now, you can keep up with him on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter at @BobbySessionsTX for the latest news on this fast rising star.

Michael Effiong

You can catch him on stage at the grand re-opening of RBC (2617 Commerce St. in Deep Ellum) with DJ sets by Picnictyme and Blue, The Misfit at 8 p.m. on Jan. 30 for only $15.

Scott Weiland

(Oct. 27, 1967 – Dec. 3, 2015) Best known as the lead singer of the Stone Temple Pilots as well as the supergroup Velvet Revolver, Weiland died of a drug overdose on his tour bus in Bloomington, Minnesota, while touring for his album Blaster. Three must listen to tracks: “Interstate Love Song,” “Big Empty,” and “Dead & Bloated.” Nick Lockey

His voice is unlike any other rapper in the local scene and that’s what caught the attention of High Standardz co-founder and Sessions’ current manager Vince Chapa. Chapa, who manages some of Dallas’ best up-and-coming rap artists, including Sam Lao, A.Dd+, Blue, The Misfit and Snow tha Product, clearly has an eye for talent.

Sessions went to the University of North Texas to study broadcast journalism and sociology, where he participated in the school’s Poetic Justice cypher to showcase his lyrical skills. Shortly after, he joined the popular collective known as “Brain Gang” alongside Blue, The Misfit, Justus, 88 Killa, Cashmir, X, and Sam Lao.

Sessions delves into his current reality and what he hopes the future will bring on the 13-track

Gone Too Soon

Lemmy Kilmister

(Dec. 24, 1945 – Dec. 28, 2015) The founder and frontman of Motörhead helped lay the foundation for heavy metal. The man with the distinct voice and friendly mutton chops was also known for his hard-living lifestyle. He lost his battle to prostate cancer at his home. Three must listen to tracks: “Motörhead,” Overkill,” and “Ace of Spades.”

David Bowie

Robert Trudeau

album. The title track, “Black America,” put the topic of police brutality on the forefront and caught the attention of music media outlets across the country including HipHopDX, DJ Booth, The Smoking Section, Dallas Observer, and more. With all ears on him, Sessions also dropped two follow-up singles “Peyton Manning” and “Black Neighborhood” with equally eye-opening lyrics and visually-appealing music videos directed by hometown favorite Jeremy Biggers.

(Jan. 8, 1947 – Jan. 10, 2016) The man created music for more than five decades which is quite a feat. When he wasn’t making music he tried his hand at acting (so watch Labyrinth now). Bowie’s music dominated the airwaves in the 70s and 80s. He passed away from liver cancer two days after releasing his final album, Blackstar. This won’t do him justice, but here are three must listen to tracks: “Moonage Daydream,” “Changes,” and “Ziggy Stardust.” Scott Butner

Glenn Frey

(Nov. 6, 1948 – Jan. 18, 2016) Frey was a founding member of the Eagles, playing guitar and singing lead vocals on some tracks as well as having a successful solo career. Between the two, he too could be heard over the airwaves in the 70s and 80s. Unfortunately pneumonia would contribute to his passing while recovering from intestinal surgery. Three must listen to tracks: “Hotel California,” “Desperado,” and “Lyin’ Eyes.” WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

FEBRUARY 2016

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MELISSA Worst pickup line you can remember? One night at Concrete Cowboy this guy told me, “If you were a door, I would slam you all night long.” What do you look for in a guy? I love sarcasm. If you’ve got it, bring it. But it can be a problem because there’s a huge difference between saying something that’s intended to be funny and something that’s mean spirited. If you’re mean, you’re not for me. What’s a typical Saturday night like? Well I’m not really a party girl. I like to go out and all. Lately I’ve been doing the dating thing. I’m just a normal girl trying to mix it up.

OUR PEDIGREE D MAGAZINE READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2014 BLITZ WEEKLY BLITZIE AWARD “BEST HAMBURGER” 2014 URBAN SPOON “MOST POPULAR HOT DOG” 2013 D MAGAZINE READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2013 BLITZ WEEKLY BLITZIE AWARD ‘BEST HOT WINGS” 2013 DALLAS OBSERVER READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2013 DALLAS MORNING NEWS “BEST BURGER IN DFW” 2013 BLITZ WEEKLY “BEST SPOTS TO WATCH THE SUPER BOWL” 2013 HOW ABOUT WE “TOP DALLAS DATE SPOT” 2013 CRAVE DFW “BEST DOGS OF DALLAS” 2012 DALLAS MORNING NEWS “BEST BURGER IN DFW” 2012 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST BURGER” 2010 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST GREASY SPOON” 2009 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST NACHOS” 2009 D MAGAZINE “D-BEST HAMBURGER” 2006 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST BURGER” 2006 AOL CITY GUIDE “BEST CHEAP EATS” 2006 AOL CITY GUIDE “BEST LATE NIGHT DINING” 2005 AVID GOLFER MAGAZINE “BEST WINGS” 2004 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HANGOVR THERAPY” 2003 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HOT DOG” 2002 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HAMBURGER” 2002 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST PLACE TO BUY A DOG” 2001 D MAGAZINE “BEST HANGOVER HELPER” 2001 THE MET “BEST BAR FOOD” 2000 D MAGAZINE “BEST WINGS” 2000 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST WINGS” 1998 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HOT DOG” 1994 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST WNGS” 1992

Julien Jeanneau Model: Melissa SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

THREE UT O B A S THING TIFUL A BEAU N WOMA

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FEBRUARY 2016

BEEF NOODLE SOUP

GREEN ONION PANCAKE

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Ten Must Try Chinese Restaurants

he Chinese New Year is upon us and as you know, Chinese cuisine just isn’t for Christmas anymore (A Christmas Story). This festival aligns itself with the lunar calendar, not with the Gregorian calendar. This year, Chinese New Year’s Eve falls on the same day as Super Bowl 50. Imagine that. Most folks think of Americanized Chinese cuisine when thinking of Chinese food. That’s not necessarily the case here. This list consists of restaurants serving traditional Chinese cuisine so they probably won’t have Sweet and Sour Chicken or what you think of as typical Chinese food. Additionally China has provinces whereas here in America we have states. That being said, Chinese cuisine actually varies by region in regards to the ingredients used, how a dish is prepared and by flavor. Chances are these restaurants will be swamped on Super Sunday… you’ve been warned!

Dumpling House 2016 YEAR OF THE MONKEY

This restaurant opened back in August 2015 and is located in the back of the parking lot shared with the Bavarian Grill. Parking can be tricky especially on the weekends. Dumpling House features northern Chinese cuisine. Think dumplings, breads and buns as well as traditional Chinese style pancakes. As reflected in the name the go-to dishes include 13 different dumpling dishes. The Pork and Shrimp Dumplings are your best bet. Also try the Hot and Spicy Beef Tendon Soup. It’s the real deal. Add a Green Onion Pancake and you should be set. dumplinghousetx.com.

Genroku Sushi & Grill PEKING DUCK

I know the name is Japanese and sushi isn’t Chinese cuisine, but Genroku also offers Taiwanese dishes. That’s why Genroku made this list. The restaurant is off of Greenville Avenue in Chinatown in Richardson. The Basil Chicken served in a clay pot is a must. For an appetizer try the Taiwanese sausage. It isn’t the same in quality as Taiwan’s night markets but still it’s pretty good. The Egg Tomato entree goes well with any rice dish. genrokusushigrill.com.

Kirin Court XIAO LONG BAO SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

For those willing to try new cuisines I recommend heading over to Kirin Court. Best known for its Dim Sum, which is basically brunch in Hong Kong. On weekends, the lines start pretty much

BY HENRY JENKINS – @ BLITZWEEKLY

as soon as the doors are opened. Grab a table with friends and the servers will offer you a variety of Cantonese dishes from a push cart. Each push cart has different specialties, so sample a dish or two from each cart. The dumplings and buns are the norm, the tripe and chicken feet for the daring. kirincourt.com.

First Chinese BBQ

One of the godfathers of traditional Chinese food restaurants here in the Metroplex. First Chinese BBQ opened its doors back in 1982 in Richardson and has grown over the years with other locations. First Chinese BBQ is cash only and BYOB. The Roasted Duck is amazing. The combination of the duck with barbequed pork and marinated chicken is a must. The fried noodle dishes are pretty good too. firstchinesebbq.com.

Bull Daddy Noodle Bistro

Newly opened in Plano off of Coit and Parker Road, Bull Daddy Noodle Bistro specializes in Taiwanese fare. Get the Spicy Beef Noodle Soup to take things up a notch. Start your meal off with the Drunken Chicken since there aren’t many restaurants that offer this dish. The Chicken Nuggets are nothing like a fast food dish. Deep fried with basil it is better than expected. bulldaddynoodlebistro.com.

Mr. Wok Asian Bistro

This Plano hot spot has been around since 1989 in what looks like an old Pizza Inn building. Parking is limited on weekends. The ambiance though is very comfortable. The Peking Duck is a must but you have to order a day in advance to reserve yours. Your server will bring out the duck and carve it up right in front of you and your friends. Also duck soup is served as part of the experience. Another highly-recommended dish is the Beggar’s Chicken. Order two days ahead for yours. The chicken is wrapped in lotus and bamboo leaves, encased in a bread crust and roasted for 22 hours. The server will bring you a mallet to begin your experience. The Chili Garlic Prawns are another excellent choice but aren’t really that spicy. mr-wok.com.

Taipei Station Café

Another Taiwanese restaurant worth checking out in north Plano. The portions here are huge and enough for two to share per dish. The Popcorn Chicken appetizer will satisfy your palate. The Pork Chop and Rice dish is your best

value and full of flavor. The pork chop is deep fried and seasoned well. There is a marinated pork belly dish which is spot on. If it’s cold outside, the Spicy Beef Noodle Soup will warm you up. Located at 930 West Parker Road – Plano.

Royal China

Established in 1974, Royal China can back up its claim as the oldest family-owned Chinese restaurant in North Texas. A Dallas staple, Royal China leans towards Northern Chinese Cuisine. Try the soup dumplings (Xiao Long Bao) with pork, chicken or shrimp and you’ll be happy. Royal China hand makes its noodles on site which is cool to watch. A side dish which is worth trying is the Ma Po Tofu, tofu sautéed with garlic in a chili sauce. The Beef Baozi (steamed buns filled with shredded beef ) are delicious. royalchinadallas.com.

King Noodle Soup

Another family-run noodle shop if you’re in search of some authentic Taiwanese noodles. This is another cash only restaurant located in old Chinatown. The restaurant is quaint and customers are tightly packed at the tables. You might end up sitting with some strangers. The Beef Noodle Soup is most delicious. The portion is well sized. Complement your meal though with some sides such as pig ears and cold seaweed. Service is fast and very casual. Located at 201 S. Greenville Avenue – Dallas.

Jeng Chi

Authentic mainland Chinese dishes abound here. This restaurant has been renovated and feels a little more upscale than before. Again the soup dumplings (Xiao Long Bao) are worth trying. There are eight variations so that should give you plenty of reason to return time and again. The dumplings are served either six or eight to an order depending on the dish and very flavorful. The Dan Dan Noodles are spot on as is the Green Onion Pancake appetizer. Also try the Eggplant with Pork and Garlic Sauce. jengchirestaurant.com.

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FEBRUARY 2016

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FEBRUARY 2016

VOL. 9 - ISSUE 1

LAMB OF GOD FINDS NEW RESOLVE AFTER ESCAPING A KAFKAESQUE ORDEAL BY ALAN SCULLEY ALANLASTWORD@GMAIL.COM

INTERVIEW

If you love metal then you already know that Lamb of God is a true metal success story with essentially more than 20 years of extreme metal, going from its original moniker Burn the Priest to signing with a major label, Epic Records. On tour in support of its album VII: Sturm und Drang, Lamb of God will be performing at the Bomb Factory on Friday, Feb. 5 with metal brethren Anthrax. Seven albums into his career with Lamb of God, guitarist/songwriter Mark Morton figures the biggest thing that could surprise him about making a new album would be if the music held no surprises for the band.

The problem had nothing to do with the band itself, the chemistry between its five members – Morton, Blythe, bassist John Campbell, drummer Chris Adler and guitarist Willie Adler (Chris’ younger brother) – or the music.

“I think for my part, to even bother doing a new album, I feel like you’ve got to have something more to say, or something more to add,” Morton said in a mid-December interview. “I don’t want to get into a place career-wise where we’re just making an album because it’s time to make an album. And you know, I can think of some bands I know that have gone through old material just to assemble the stuff that didn’t make it on previous albums, just to assemble a new album because it was time to. That’s not really how we work.”

Arriving in the Czech Republic for a run of concerts in June 2012, Blythe was arrested and charged with manslaughter, a crime that carries a prison sentence of up to 10 years in that country.

So the fact that Lamb of God has a new album out called VII: Sturm und Drang means the group found something fresh in the process of creating its latest body of work. That new territory exists within songs like “Overlord,” a dark, slow-burning, but melodic, track that features front man Randy Blythe for the first time delivering a sung vocal. “Embers” also features a departure as Deftones vocalist Chino Moreno sings a melodic section that sweetens this tumultuous track. Fans, though, can take comfort in knowing that the other songs on VII: Sturm und Drang have the usual Lamb of God trademarks – Blythe’s feral, screamed vocals, the mix of roiling, heavy and melodic guitars and pummeling drums. To hear Lamb of God come back strong on Sturm und Drang certainly is good news for the band, its fans and for heavy metal as a genre. As anyone who has followed the group knows, there was a period after the release of Lamb of God’s previous album, Resolution, where the band’s future was in serious question.

Travis Shin

The charge stemmed from a May 24, 2010 concert at Club Abaton in Prague at which prosecutors in the Czech Republic asserted that Blythe had pushed a 19-year-old fan, Daniel Nosek, off of the stage. Nosek at some point fell, hitting his head on the floor. Later that evening, Nosek became violently ill, was taken to a hospital and underwent emergency brain surgery. Sadly, he slipped into a coma and died from his injury. After his arrest, Blythe spent 37 days in jail before he was released on bail. He then returned to the Czech Republic for trial in February 2013. The case, though, was not clear cut. Reports indicated the Lamb of God show was plagued by security lapses that allowed fans to get on the stage, and there also was conflicting testimony from concert-goers about whether they saw Blythe push Nosek, and exactly when and how Nosek fell to the floor. In the end, the judge acquitted Blythe and the singer was freed, allowing him to resume his Lamb of God career. Blythe has since written a book about his experience, Dark Days: A Memoir. Asked if he’s seen any changes in Blythe – or if the personal dynamic within Lamb of God has shifted as a result of the singer’s scary ordeal, Morton chose not to offer specifics. He noted there have been any number of events and experiences

Lamb of God, from left, John Campbell, Chris Adler, Randy Blythe, Willie Adler, Mark Morton since the group formed in the early 1990s in Richmond, Virginia (under the original band name Burn the Priest) that have impacted the individual members or the band as a whole on multiple levels – and Blythe’s encounter with the Czech Republic justice system was one such event. “I just think it was a really personal issue that was much more far reaching than how it impacted the band,” Morton said. “It was and remains a really, really heavy time, and the impact that it had on all of us and in our relationships were on a personal level and far beyond anything that has to do with Lamb of God.” VII: Sturm und Drang has a couple of songs relating to the Blythe saga – “Still Echoes” and “512” (the number of Blythe’s prison cell). But otherwise the songs deal with a variety of other personal or topical issues. Morton said the band was not about to make an album about the Blythe saga, saying that would commercialize and cheapen a profound and personal experience. “(It) would have been at the very least, poor taste, probably something much worse than that,” Morton said. “So yeah, there is reference to it. Randy and I both write lyrics about life experience, and that was certainly a life experience for him, and to some degree, for all of us. But no, it wasn’t something that you just used as fodder for heavy metal lyrics.” Musically, VII: Sturm und Drang became one of Lamb of God’s most collaborative albums – although it wasn’t by any predetermined plan. As usual, the process started with Morton and Willie Adler serving as the group’s music writers. But things changed from there. “One thing that was distinctly different was that Willie and I both brought in pieces of music that

were a little less complete,” Morton said. “For the previous three or four albums, we would bring in, once the band agreed we were in writing mode, quote-unquote, Willie and I would bring in, in some cases, literally a CD with four songs on it that were like completely demoed out and play it for the band and see who responded to what and what we wanted to do with them. “This time, those ideas were brought in less elaborate, less completed. And so you might just have a riff or maybe two riffs put together. ‘Hey, I’ve got this chorus, but I don’t know what to do with it.’ So what that ultimately wound up creating was a much more collaborative environment on this album.” This approach wasn’t entirely new, Morton said, noting that early albums like New American Gospel and As the Palaces Burn were written in this manner before he and Adler began writing more complete songs to bring to the rest of the band. “It wasn’t a revolution for us, but it was at least fresh in terms of the way we had been writing the previous few albums,” Morton said. Since releasing VII: Sturm und Drang in July, Lamb of God has done two major tours – a U.S. amphitheater run in the summer opening for Slipknot followed by a European tour with Megadeth. For its winter headlining tour of the states, Morton said the band is trying to bring as much of the big production from the Slipknot shows as possible into the smaller theaters on this tour. “We certainly want to give the fans as much value as we can for their ticket money, and we’ve got some really, really cool visuals that we’ve worked on to go along with the music,” he said. “So yeah, we’re just looking at trying to cram as much of that stuff into the theaters as we can.”

“I think for my part, to even bother doing a new album, I feel like you’ve got to have something more to say, or something more to add.” SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

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Time for Your Smartphone to Make You Money BY TAYLOR C. BERRIER – @THEGALAXY89 In today’s tough times, everyone’s looking to make their pennies stretch. But if you wanna get a step up in the saving game, I have a few smartphone applications I want you to check out. Times are a changin’ in the mobile environment of smartphones. If it’s not paying for itself, you’re doing it wrong. Most people are still putting away their cup of coffee towards gaining a chance to win up to $1.5 billion in the lottery once or twice a week. Too much work, too little chance. If you have enough free time to walk around a convenience store, you have enough time to watch an advertisement or two, take a survey or a poll, or pick up a few investing tips and tricks to keep your class classy and your beau bourgeois. Money doesn’t buy friends or happiness, but it sure helps keep them around that much longer. For those unaware, there is a whole new, well, not so new anymore, currency that’s all the rave on the Worldwide Web. It’s called Bitcoin. Actually, there are many different digital currencies out there and encrypting all of them is not impossible, but definitely is a chore. Get yourself an online wallet for these new digital monies and check out the slew of selection of apps that help your earn them, little by little, for doing things as simple as watching 15- to 30-second ads or spinning a slot machine reel. Coinbase is a cross-platform wallet that is great for your beginner collector. During this process you might have realized the first step in obtaining a wallet is having a linkable and compatible bank account. If you are an adult human being living on this continent you should have one of these. And then your next step is budget. Figure out how much money each month you can actually “play” with. How much do you spend on coffee a week? Gas? Gems for your Clash of Clans Castle? Anything superfluous in your life, budget this out and start putting fractions of your income into two areas: savings and investments. This will be something your bank should be able to guide you through.

For iOS/Apple/iPhones & iPads Check out Bitcoin Free, Free Bitcoin, Bitcoin Tapper, Bitcoin Alien, and Bitcoin Wonder Machine. It may seem like Satoshis are cheaper than Yen, but work all these apps together and before you know it you’ve earned an extra ticket in the next billion dollar lottery drawing. With Bitcoin being volatile, meaning it’s constantly changing and unpredictable paces, it’s mostly a long-term investment of time. When in 10 years Bitcoin is worth double what it is now, in the words of Mr. Hotline Bling, you can thank me now.

For Android Also check out Free Bitcoin, because unlike iOS, the Android version can be known to pay off a bit more generously than its Steve Jobs counterpart, actually getting you into the bonus reels in its slot machine-like game, earning you exponentially more Satoshis. BitMaker also is a pretty-much do-nothing type of faucet that is automatic and lets you collect every half hour. BitMaker also has an advantage over Free Bitcoin in that you are connected by a wallet address, instead of an e-mail address, essentially enabling you to earn more the more devices you use it on. Unless you have a bunch of iPads and spare Apple IDs to go around, Free Bitcoin will not be as efficient as BitMaker.

For Windows and Windows Mobile Your options here are much more limited, as to be expected by now if you are at all familiar with the Windows Store. No reason to lose hope yet with Bitcoin Miner by GroupFabric, Inc. Leave this app running overnight on a charging device or devices and your dreams of mining come true. You don’t even have to dream, you just wake up and they’re there. Bitcoin Miner also is linked by a wallet address like BitMaker on Android so you can mine on as many Windows devices as to your heart’s content, on your Windows tablet or Windows smartphone, or even your laptop or desktop. Bitcoins too much of a gamble for you? Don’t believe in the dreaded mark of the beast, barcodes, and all that sci-fi hullabaloo? No worries, there is a much safer way to invest in the app-investing phenomena.

Well, if you have ever watched an ad on your phone, you have probably come across one for Acorns, the money-saving app that puts away that spare change you keep throwing away on the street or in that parking meter, and invests it for you. Sure, one of its first areas of investing your money is the New York Stock Exchange, and after the scare we had in January, I’d be iffy too about investing this way, putting my faith in a system I actually know pretty little about. I have very little knowledge in our economic atmosphere. By and large, it’s a tremendous amount of time and effort involved and natural ability needed to work this system in a way that makes any tangible or immediate profit, but anybody with access to free trades can play the long game and hold out for the good stuff like dividends and capital gains. A dollar a week, a quarter a day, 20 bucks a month, whatever you can afford. Put something, anything away, not to be touched, ever, unless you are dying, already dead, or in trouble with the Internal Revenue Service. Which brings me to my next point, pay your taxes, and budget that return.

The Bank Account Kids, get a bank account as soon as possible. Don’t sign up for credit cards. Good credit can get you far in life, and there’s no sense in spending life trying to work your way back to the acceptable standards of society. Get a bank account, get a Bitcoin Wallet, stop playing games, start getting paid to watch ads. I know your games make you watch ads anyways, you might as well be getting paid for them. Or play some relaxing Coin Flapper and earn Bitcoins playing the best game for mobile ever invented: Flappy Bird. Adults, budget, build a portfolio. Apps are now available that allow you to trade common stock in the NYSE for free. Free trades, NOT free stocks. Figure out which stocks you can afford, and buy a little at a time. I promise this is more worthy of your time than solitaire or Temple Run. Find a company, subscribe to updates of that company via Yahoo! Finance, CNN Money, Forbes, or Morningstar, etc.

For stock trading, iOS users check out Robinhood, an app that allows you to buy, collect, and keep track of stocks and your stock portfolio with a nice, easy-to-read layout and buying and selling format suitable for any smartphone and stock market skill level. Before checking out Robinhood, however, double-check whatever app your bank employs, as the big ones like Wells Fargo, Bank of America, and USAA allow for stock trading and portfolio building within their own application environments. Robinhood, just released last August, has yet to make its way to the Google Play Store, but with increasing popularity among millennials it is sure to find its way soon enough. So, bitcoins and stocks just don’t quite do it for you, huh? Maybe some good ol’ fashion nickel and dimes are more along the cut of your jib. Nickels and dimes not enough? Earn anywhere from 10 cents to a dollar with average surveys paying out about a quarter on iPoll, an application that allows one to take surveys for a little bit of extra cash, deposited right into a PayPal account. Or check out Surveys on the Go, like iPoll, get paid in real U.S. currency from both Apple and Android devices. Please, please, please, take my advice with a few grains of salt. I am not a money manager, a CPA, or even a fan of Money Matters or Mad Money. Learn the app market asap, its transforming and start investing with it. There are new generations learning how to put aside money for the future. The only real advice I can give you is don’t get left in the dust. Do something, rather than nothing. Is giving up that extra cup of coffee a week really going to kill you? Probably not. And in fact, a few extra dollars in an emergency fund can put a hospital bill to rest in crunch time. So prepare. Budget and prepare. But these days, a lot of that work can be done for you. And apologies for the lack of mentions of the countless budgeting tool apps that are available on every platform, including Windows. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

IS ROCK AND ROLL DEAD? 18

FEBRUARY 2016

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A True Believer Investigates

some of my symptoms, like heartache, abated a bit. Yet, I soon found myself in the mall, and whatever that 14-year-old girl, hopped up on hairspray fumes and too many Mochaccino Lattes was shrieking over the sound system, well, it knocked me down again. I got into the car, threw on a New York Dolls disc and drove around until the nausea subsided. Then I called Phil Leavitt. Leavitt is the drummer in the combustible band 7Horse, which recently had a rockin’ song, “Meth Lab Zoso,” in Martin Scorsese’s Wolf of Wall Street. The group also dropped its blistering new disc Livin’ in a Bitch of a World in March. Drummer and singer Leavitt, no matter how hard his rock and cock are, still is worried about the art form he loves so madly. To him, it’s a simple case of kids misplacing their priorities.

Roberto Rizzato I FEEL ABSOLUTELY APOCALYPTIC ABOUT IT. Like there’s about to be the resurrection of the righteous, like we soon will see The Antichrist, followed by an appearance of The Messiah. No, I don’t think the world is coming to an end. But I fear that rock and roll may be. Whether I am strolling the aisles of the supermarket, listening to various mutant music channels or hearing songs streaming from sports cars, all I hear are interchangeable dance-pop confections, identikit rap tunes and smudgy Xeroxes of Pearl Jam – when I couldn’t even stand the original. Fearing the worst, that rock is dead, I spoke to several musicians who I figured might shed some light on the subject. Or at least tell me enough hopeful news, so that I might stop my sobbin.’ Or at least my hyperventilating. Elliott Murphy would be the first witness this private eye braced on the subject. Murphy should sure as shit knows. Since his classic debut, Aquashow, dropped in 1973, this Long Island link between classic 60s bands and snotty punk rockers has played the music, written novels SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

and articles about it, lived with it, died for it. As always, Murph offers up his own unique and eloquent take on the rock and roll. “The chorus of the first song (“Last of the Rock Stars”) of my first album begged the question, ‘rock ‘n’ roll is here to stay but who will be left to play?’ I wrote that line in 1973, deeply concerned that as my heroes and heroines were dropping like flies (think Jimi, Jim and Janis), by the time I finally entered the magic kingdom of rock stardom, I thought the Promised Land would be a graveyard. I was wrong, of course. Rock stars do keep disappearing before their time (think Kurt Cobain and most recently Scott Weiland, Lemmy Kilmister, Glenn Frey and David Bowie) but the Stones keep filling stadiums and Bruce Springsteen played for President Obama. And if you don’t think that’s amazing, imagine Elvis playing for Ike...maybe rock ‘n’ roll has gone back underground....but maybe come some spring a rebirth, a renaissance of its past grandeur will catch us all by surprise.” After hearing such words from Murphy, like Jagger’s “Mr Jimmy”, man, I still felt pretty ill. But

“It seems to me that right now, there is a problem with the authenticity of the music,” said Leavitt. “Technology has worked against it. And all the stuff available in the studio has made rock and roll and music so easily manipulated that it’s hard to get the right feel for this stuff. Plus, not enough kids are going back to the music’s roots and learning about blues and country. Also, the early rock drummers, at least the ones in the 60s, like Charlie Watts, Ringo Starr and Keith Moon, all listened to the swing drummers of the 40s, like Gene Krupa and Buddy Rich. Rock and roll, as with The Stones, used to really swing. That element is missing. The cool grooves.” Leavitt makes allowances for the paucity of real rock and roll in the world right now, but that only urges him on to make the best kind he can make. “All I can do is keep my head down and hope for the best,” the drummer said. “This is the only thing that makes me happy, playing this music. So, I don’t really have a choice, if I want to have a good life. But as far as your question? It’s a critical situation. Rock and roll may not be dead, but it is definitely on life support.” This was all pretty edifying. But more than that, deeply depressing. I spent much of the rest of the day, listening to Exile on Main Street, Raw Power and Give ‘Em Enough Rope. I slapped on Quadrophenia, This Year’s Model and Straight Outta Compton. It was hard to believe that these life-changing, form-stretching discs were merely to be relegated to some golden era in the past. Maybe, just maybe, our new, nasty, noisome epoch would be prologue to yet another amazing time for loud guitars, cracking drums and some irreverent, shit-hot lead singer. I had to believe that. Else, what’s a heaven for?

BY PETER GERSTENZANG – @HAPPYSPAPPY

I decided to speak to folk-punk legend Willie Nile. It probably was a good time. This beloved songwriter was working hard to finish up his new disc, due in April. “Rock ‘n roll is very much alive,” said Nile. “It’s just hangin’ out in the backstreets and back alleys these days. Rock n roll, at its best, was always an outsider art form and for sure these days it’s definitely outside the main stream and that’s more than okay with me. “I like music when it rocks and is real and pulls no punches and doesn’t cater to the flavor of the month. To hell with jumping on some bandwagon. All the pollsters and the charts and the numbers mean nothing other than measuring business profits. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But just because something brings in a ton of dough and is popular doesn’t mean it’s any good or has any meaning other than lining pockets.” Willie, who for a cool rockin’ daddy can spin out a line of pure positive poetry, then amplified his previous remarks so that they produced really good (amplifier) feedback about rock. He went on to make maybe the most definitive statement about the music that I had maybe ever heard. Preach on, Brother Willie! “I’ve got a great band that takes no prisoners and we have a blast when we play,” he said. “I always tell the promoter ahead of time to alert the local fire department that we’re gonna raise the roof and burn the place down and then build it up again. “The shows are a call to arms to life and passion and beyond. Life is real and it’s often brief and for me there’s some semblance of salvation in it. There’s a redemptive quality to it sometimes that makes it worth the effort and hard work and risk and worth the journey. “People live and die and music can reflect that. Jim Carroll’s People Who Died is a perfect example of great rock ‘n roll with depth and meaning and it’s a great rocker you can dance to it. I always love playing it and the audiences are always on their feet in agreement. It’s a masterpiece and it still lives.” Somehow, talking to Willie always does the same thing for me. Makes me want to live. And since I’ve decided to do that, I’m going to need to eat and sleep. And I’ll also need something to listen to. So, okay, guys, okay. I’ll give this life one more day. After that, no promises. But in the meantime, where in hell is my copy of Back in Black?

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ON BEING LIED TO… T

his column marks my 12th for Blitz; a full year of month-in-month-out efforts to tackle controversial issues with all the nuance, context, and complexity I can pack into (and frequently over) my word limit. After a year, I’ve decided to get out while the getting remains good, and move on before I begin to repeat myself. Writing, for me, is a selfish act, and this column has been an incredible privilege. I use the writing to clarify my thoughts and think through my arguments toward a conclusion I can stand behind. My monthly task has been to pick – without any editorial interference – a subject to explore, dive into the available information and opinion, sort through the mess, and arrive at a(n unpopular) opinion. If my motivation is inherently selfish, however, the animating conviction of my writing is not. When I sit down in front of the keys I believe, in my heart of hearts, that with the right information and the right argument, it is entirely possible to change minds. I do this despite all the evidence – some of which I’ve written about before – to the contrary; and I do it because, at bottom, I believe people to be essentially good and decent, and fairly bright. I am convinced most people are persuadable, and

BY CHRIS SICK – @CHRISSICK

able to think for themselves if only treated as the adults they are. I have a dark and abiding suspicion that this central conviction is not widely shared. Over the recent holidays, I finally read James Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time and Ta-Nehisi Coates’ more recent Between the World and Me. The books share a subject – race relations – and literary conceit, framed as letters to loved ones. But despite the more than 50 years that separate their publication, they also share a focus on the endless capacity for self-delusion that Americans possess.

We believe this is the land of opportunity, where anybody can “make it” with hard work, despite the ongoing evisceration of the middle class and the grinding down of social mobility. We’ve spent eight years flattering ourselves as post racial while every metric of socioeconomic status shows a dramatic gap between white and black Americans. We invest our foundational myths with such power we can barely recognize the uncomfortable realities that face us. The United States now occupies an extremely unhappy valley between the promises of our myths and the reality that gives lie to them.

Both Coates and Baldwin analyze the ways in which the condition of black America is maintained by whites who are all too willing to believe that those conditions are either imagined or deserved. Both authors focus a sizeable portion of their anger – as did Dr. Martin Luther King – on the white liberals who feint towards equality, but are too comfortable within the system to risk dismantling it.

When the Occupiers took to Wall Street, it’s worth remembering that they didn’t begin with a radical call to tear down the existent economic order. Rather, their complaint was that they had been told a college education would lead to a middle class life. After taking on the astronomical debt of the devil’s bargain, they got to the other end of their degree to discover no jobs were waiting for them.

For my part, I can’t help but not only agree with these two incredible authors, but see the easy ways in which their arguments could be extended. The United States is, perhaps more than any other country in history, a place deeply invested in its own myths.

The shock of recognition, as has been said, often is painful. And it will go on being painful as again and again – from college campuses to unemployment lines and the unhappy overlap of the two – as we’re forced to recognize the fallacies of our premises.

Our painful recognition might not quite rise to the strictest definition of interregnum, yet we meet all the conditions of Gramsci’s famous diagnosis: “The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear.” And our morbid symptoms include no shortage of those willing to lie to us for their own ends. Republicans insist that the U.S. is the greatest country in all of history, blessed by free markets and indomitable national character. Whether the insurrectionist campaign of Trump or the establishmentarianism of Jeb Bush, their campaigns are predicated on mythos. They argue that they can return our nation to its natural, ideal state simply by doing the exact opposite of Barrack Obama. The Democrats are only better insofar as I find their hearts in the right place; despite the corporatist/neoliberal wing of the party being always ready to sell out the heart for a few dollars or a few votes. But they’re just as frequently promising easy solutions to endemic problems. The party pretends mass incarceration can be solved by releasing the nonexistent, nonviolent drug offenders and that government should help college students despite nearly half of recent grads underemployment. What is needed is a radical reimagining of our political, social, and economic orders. We face immense problems in the 21st century – both nationally and globally – but we insist on retreating to comforting myth rather than confronting these challenges. We are, constantly, lied to in this country; and far worse, we lie to ourselves. We perpetuate our lies and take refuge in them. We evade history in favor of myth, and we ignore the threats we face to avoid the discomfort addressing them might cause. It isn’t behavior that’s worthy of responsible adults, and if we have any hope of leaving a better world behind us, we’ve got to start facing up to these truths. No matter how uncomfortable.

José Manuel Ríos Valiente WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

FEBRUARY 2016

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VOL. 9 - ISSUE 1

FEBRUARY 2016

Bits of Wisdom…Ice Cube I think the worst thing you can do about a situation is nothing. Truth is the ultimate power. When the truth comes around, all the lies have to run and hide.

Eva Rinaldi

If it was all about me, I’d do a whole lot of pop records, make a whole lot of money, just rake in the dough. But it’s never been all about me. It’s all about being a voice for the voiceless. People who can’t speak for themselves, who don’t have a mic, don’t have a say. Twerking has to end. Not for the ones that look good doing it, but for all the ones that you feel, ‘You don’t have enough to twerk back there. Your twerkin’ look like jerkin’. My worst ever car was a green Datsun B210, back when they called it ‘Datsun’ - now it’s ‘Nissan.’ Very unsexy, unattractive. Girls hated the car. I was embarrassed to even be in it... but it was my transportation.

Aquarius: January 20-February 18 Is it a coincidence that your crush posted about only ugly people being at the party after saying hi to you? Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to put some cash aside for plastic surgery. Pisces: February 19-March 20 Enjoying a cup of coffee by yourself is nice every now and then, except when it’s after the person you were gonna originally grab coffee with is arrested for public intoxication outside of the coffee shop. At least the profanity shouted at you wasn’t as bad the last time. Aries: March 21-April 19 New experiences for a new year seemed exciting, but 911 calls because of a stuck sex toy is stretching it. Literally, to unhealthy lengths.

Andrew J. Hewett chewednews.blogspot.com ABSENT MINDED NO-BRAINER Dozens of human brains were found missing from a lab at the University of Texas in Austin. Some thought the formaldehyde-packed jars were stolen for use as Halloween pranks. But an investigation found the 40-60 jars were just thrown away 12 years prior because they either contained multiple brains or were in poor condition.

Taurus: April 20- May 20 You look like an insensitive cunt offering Rolaids to your friend’s wheelchair-bound homosexual brother, but everyone is too busy thinking you’re gross for carrying around Rolaids. Gemini: May 21-June 21 With David Bowie passing everyone remembers how he taught us how to be ourselves. You obviously learned nothing from him. Cancer: June 22-July 22 You keep telling yourself that being your own Valentine is empowering, but that quickly turns to being shameful after your daily PornHub session is done.

HE NEEDED WEANING OFF THIS Federal prosecutors say Wassim Hassan Elsaleh, 36, a legal permanent resident from Lebanon, living in Houston, was running an infant formula theft ring. He’s accused of buying stolen infant formula and other products, then repackaging and shipping them to out-of-state wholesalers. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? In November 2014, a gardener, Annabel Honeybun, was hired by the House of Commons to pull color-changing leaves from trees on the Westminster Palace grounds in London. Those who hired her figured it would be cheaper than waiting for them fall upon the ground.

Leo: July 23-August 22 So getting stood up by an escort isn’t the best way to spend Valentine’s Day, but hey, that’s $120 saved. Plus, if it happens two more times you can just buy a used Playstation 4 at that point.

Scorpio: October 23-November 21 That moment you realize that your milk has a Valentine’s date and you don’t.

Virgo: August 23-September 22 Even though you didn’t win the Powerball never forget: Some of you will be murdered and most likely by someone you trust.

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21 Geoffrey Arend is married, and to an extremely attractive person at that. Just let that sink in for a second.

Libra: September 23-October 22 It may be a new year and a new you, but your Valentine’s Day will be the same as in the past, spent alone reading everyone else’s social media posts about the great time they’re having.

Capricorn: December 22-January 19 So now we know that your hobbies include sleeping alone and disappointing everyone close to you. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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WHY WE DON’T CARE ANYMORE BY PAUL A. ESQUIVEL – @SOAPMANSUPREME oaquin Archivaldo Guzman Loera, better known to the world by the name “El Chapo,” was recently captured thanks, er, I think thanks…to actress Kate del Castillo and actor Sean Penn after setting up an interview with the kingpin. While some look at this as a victory, I can’t help but feel like it almost doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s me being cynical, but what now? Will “El Chapo” stay locked up this time? Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos said “Guzman’s capture is a success,” adding that “(Guzman) like all criminals, will find what

Forbes from 2009-11 ranked him among the most powerful people in the world, ranking 41st, 60th and 55th, respectively, with a net worth of roughly $1 billion. People worth that much don’t stay behind bars that long. How many CEOs do you see actually get punished for wrong doings? Even though they aren’t cartel drug lords, the two aren’t all that different from each other. We know these things happen and yet we still choose to do nothing or just not care all together. We romanticized and joked about “El Chapo” after he blasted Donald Trump as if he wasn’t just as bad.

rich don’t play by the same set of rules as we do and for some reason we’re all OK with it. I remember first hearing about Couch a couple of years back and the majority of my Facebook feed was more concerned with those douchebags from Duck Dynasty saying dumb things on TV and losing their show. It seemed that no one cared all that much when Couch got off. I mean some did, but most didn’t care until sharing a link of his arrest after photos of him partying, a violation of his probation, surfaced on the Internet leading he and his mother to flee to Mexico. The same feeling of “What now?” struck me when hearing of his arrest.

“El Chapo”

Ethan Couch

BOTH WERE ON THE LAM. BOTH HAVE BEEN CAPTURED. WILL WE SEE JUSTICE? he deserves in the eyes of justice.” Will he this time? I don’t think so… Let me start off by saying that I will gladly eat my words if proven wrong but why are we lying to ourselves on this? He already has been moved eight times and maybe more as of this writing and while we might like this fabricated feeling of a bad guy being put away, it’s a false sense of reality we are telling ourselves. “El Chapo” has been hailed as the “biggest drug lord of all time” and even if you took away the brutal killings and murders, the power from money alone still plays as the biggest factor as to why I’m waiting to hear about how he’s escaped again. SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

On a smaller scale an example would be Ethan Couch who, if you don’t know for some reason, is a teenager born to a very wealthy family who killed four people while speeding drunk on June 15, 2013, in Burleson, Texas. A total of nine people were injured because of him and even though he was driving recklessly and was intoxicated, he was only sentenced to rehab and probation. The defense said Ethan Couch had “affluenza” which basically means that since he grew up rich having everything he wanted, he could not be held accountable because…he’s rich. Let that sink in for a little bit if this is news to you. Couch also became a fugitive for a little bit but nowhere near as long as “El Chapo” and while the two are extremely different, my point is the

Though Ethan Couch was never romanticized, it’s still more proof to me that nothing will change. If these are both victories, why doesn’t it feel like it? Classism exists and is reaching new heights because we let it. The New Tens have so far shown that we became cowards and sold out a long time ago, we just don’t try to hide it anymore. Even the ones who don’t care forget. Let me leave you with this: “The indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.” – Haile Selassie

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