Ky. men sentenced in bizarre beardeating case BLITZ News Shorts 3 Hollywood Profile/Movie Review 4 Music: Dallas Welcomes Nicki Minaj 5 Stars News 6 TCU / SMU / UNT Preview 7 Cowboys Preview 8 Creating Thanksgiving (Out of Nothing) 9 COVER STORY: Guide to Pizza Our Favorite Restaurants 10-11 BLITZ BABE: Allison 12 Blitz Toys 13 Mavs News 14 How to Survive Family Functions 15 Blitz Food: Corinne’s Catfish & Bakery 16 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 Last Call: Oh, To Be Thankful! 18 PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jeff Putnam CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Steven Hendrix Model: Ellie Lo Make-Up Artist: Brad Overcash STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS John Breen, Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Yu-Ping Chen, Ben Franske, Joe Lorenzini, Gveret Tered, Puttytat STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Sam Chase, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joe Avezzano, Jay Betsill, John Breen, Adam Bruster, Fil Chapa, Dennis Hambright, Andrew J. Hewett, H. Todd J. Moore, Kyle Saunders, Dawn Spalding CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK Photos Courtesy: Puttytat
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VOL. 3 - ISSUE 13
November 24 - 30, 2010 3
“There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.” –Kevin James
Two central Kentucky men were sentenced to probation in connection with a bizarre case in which a third man said he was forced to eat his beard after an argument. The Lexington Herald-Leader reported 47-year-old Troy Holt and 51-year-old James Hill were sentenced Tuesday in Anderson Circuit Court. Harvey Westmoreland of Lawrenceburg had said Holt cut off his beard and forced him to eat it while Hill allegedly held a sickle blade to Westmoreland and his brother during the May incident.
Holt could not say why he made Westmoreland eat his beard other than that things “got out of control” after some heavy drinking. He added, “I ain’t got no excuses about what I done.” Hill had no comment after sentencing. As a condition of their sentences, neither Holt nor Hill is to have contact with Westmoreland.
Coach with lead foot talks traffic safety in ad
The Fargo police chief says North Dakota State football coach Craig Bohl wouldn’t have been tapped as a traffic safety pitchman had officials known about his driving record. The Forum newspaper reported Bohl has been ticketed for at least 18 traffic offenses since he was hired in 2003. Bohl’s voice is featured in a 30-second traffic safety spot describing a string of crashes in Fargo that killed five people this fall. It’s aimed at repeat offenders, and Fargo Police Chief Keith Ternes says it makes the ad less effective when “the messenger might be somebody we’re trying to reach.” Still, Ternes isn’t pulling the ad. And Bohl says his driving history is one reason he agreed to do it. “I looked myself in the mirror and said, ‘I need to slow down,’” he said.
Man wore priest’s robe to steal church cash
A 52-year-old Jackson man accused of donning a priest’s robe to steal parishioner donations from a church has been arrested. Sgt. Kevin Hiller told the Jackson Citizen Patriot the man stole an undisclosed amount of money and checks from St. John Catholic Church about 4:30 p.m. Saturday. Hiller said the man used the robe to gain access to a room where the money was located. Witnesses helped police identify the man, who was arrested at his home. Police have not released the suspect’s name. They say he is on parole and remains held at the Jackson County Jail pending parole violation and larceny from a building charges. Jackson is about 70 miles west of Detroit.
Andrew J. Hewett
www.chewednews.com
THE WORST AUTO RACING TRAGEDY EVER
June 11, 1955, two hours into the 24 Hours of Le Mans, driver Pierre Levegh, 49, wrecked out, resulting in his death. But worse, the impact sent flaming parts from his Mercedes 300 into the audience, killing 82 spectators and injuring an estimated 120.
HIPPOCRATIC HYPOCRITES
Jessie Mae Ned received a knee replacement Aug. 29, 2008, at Dallas County’s Parkland Memorial Hospital (which pays UT Southwestern Medical School $153 million yearly for faculty physician services). Sadly for Ms. Ned, a wide array of medical errors caused her to suffer 23 additional surgeries in the next 16 months, ending with the amputation of her leg. During this time, while hospital records claimed, “Dr. (Frank) Gottschalk was present for all important portions of the case,” a Dallas Morning News investigation found, “... Gottschalk’s work calendar shows he was scheduled to be on vacation in Africa then, spending time at Victory Falls after a safari.” (Parkland billed Medicaid for roughly $1 million.)
BET HIS JEWELRY STORE NEVER OFFERS 10% OFF
Nov. 17, 2010, world news services reported London jeweler Laurence Graff was top bidder at Sotheby’s auction house, to purchase a rare pink diamond, weighing 24.78 carats. The price? The equivalent of $46 million dollars. That was almost double the $24.3 million Graff paid for a 35.56 carat blue diamond in 2008.
blitzweekly.com
4 November 24 - 30, 2010
HOLLYWOOD PROFILE with Donald Faison
by Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”
Funnyman Donald Faison is in the fight of his life in the new sci-fi/thriller Skyline which took the number four spot at the box office in its first week of release. It’s about a bunch of friends who get together to party and try and join forces when all hell breaks loose. When I say all hell breaks loose, I mean literally. It’s like the rapture outside... people being sucked into the sky and these are the last days of the human race. The apocalypse is a huge draw for moviegoers. We’ve seen the world end a hundred different ways this year alone. Why do you think people are so drawn to this story? You really care about these characters because if this happened it’s most likely what you would do in this situation. If you got out of the initial abduction what would you do? Would you be like, “I gotta get to my plane, and fly this thing and take on the mother(bleep)?” Or would you be like, “I gotta organize a strike force?” No, you’d look out your window as little as possible to try and see what’s going on, but most of the time you’re like “I’m going to stay put and stay out of this, and if it comes for me I’ll be ready.” That’s why I think everyone is vested in these characters because they get caught in this situation, and you believe their response is what you would do. I heard this project literally came about almost overnight. Do you know any of the background on the project? They (filmmakers Greg and Colin Strause) really, really wanted this, and I could tell how much they wanted it by how quickly they put the project together. They wrote the script and within a month after the script was written they were ready to start filming. You referenced The Strause Brothers, who are making quite a name for themselves now. How do you think they are affecting the industry? They are considered indie filmmakers, but their movies are not the stereotypical art house or campy indie. They’re very innovative. I don’t think anyone in Hollywood is doing it the way they are right now. I think they’ve created a new mold for making independent films. Your independent film, if you have the right connections, doesn’t have to look independent anymore. It can look like a blockbuster, like a movie that was made by a huge studio. If you want to see a new twist on the final days of mankind, you can check out Skyline in theatres now. The film is rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence, some language, and brief sexual content.
by Fil Chapa – “One Film at a Time”
DUE DATE
Directed and co-written by Todd Phillips, Due Date is the story of Peter Highman, played by Robert Downey, Jr., who desperately wants to get home to Los Angeles to witness the birth of his child. Unfortunately, Peter soon meets Ethan Tremblay, a strange guy who also wants to go to California to pursue his dream of becoming an actor. There is a slight misunderstanding on the airplane and the pair are forced to work together if they are to reach their destination. Along the way they meet some intriguing people, including a drug dealer they found on Craigslist, an old friend in Dallas, and they even have a runin with the Policia at the Mexican border. They get to know each other on their trip and they eventually find out that two people from two completely different backgrounds should never, ever go on a long distance trip together. While Peter appears to have it all – a beautiful wife, a successful career and the anticipation of becoming a father – deep down he has some very real insecurities. These include a suspicion of infidelity by his wife, played by Michelle Monaghan. He also fears that the baby he’s rushing home to see may not even be his. The lovable loser Tremblay, played by Hollywood wunderkind Zach Galifianakis, is trying to relocate and begin a career in acting after the death of his father. Ethan was very close to his father and his father
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was very close to coffee, so naturally he keeps his fathers’ ashes in a coffee can. He is an American original who proudly sports acid-washed skinny jeans with a white comb sticking out of his back pocket to help maintain his perm. They don’t have much money after Peter loses his wallet on the plane and what little money they do have is spent primarily on drugs and waffles. I thought this film had some highs and lows, but I was never bored. There were some highs, for example, when they were flying through the air just before crashing after Ethan falls asleep at the wheel. Then there were the lows when Peter questions the military credentials of a check-cashing store employee, played superbly by Danny McBride, and ends up getting the crud beat out of him. Comparisons to Planes, Trains and Automobiles have been rife in the critical response to this movie, and there are superficial resemblances in the way a character with pressing needs is frustrated by someone who takes life as it comes. Yet the depth and range of these portrayals is altogether fresh. The chemistry between Downey and Galifianakis is intense and it keeps you on edge, along with their timing. I found myself laughing out loud and feeling disappointed because I didn’t want the film to end. These are two remarkable actors and both are at the top of their game.
November 24 - 30, 2010 5 blitzweekly.com
THE BONE by Kyle Saunders
ZONE T
he Dirty South has boasted its fair share of hip hop wunderkinds and music magnates, but none are poised to make a bigger splash in the industry than Dallas’s Terry “Bone” Rodgers. Rodgers has perched his Bonecide Records high above the city where he was born and raised, while his music empire grows around him. A self-made millionaire at 35, Rodgers has defied the odds and conquered every obstacle to become one of the hip hop industry’s most in-demand personalities. With artists clamoring to be signed to his label and multi-platinum artists requesting his rhymes on their remixes, Rodgers is a mogul in the making. But life wasn’t always so glamorous. Rodgers grew up the middle child of a family of five with a single mother who bounced him and his siblings around from Section 8 housing to Section 8 housing, landing wherever there was a vacancy they could call home for a little while. “We moved every year,” recounts Rodgers. “Wherever my mom could find a place for us to stay that she could afford. East Dallas, West Dallas – in a good year, a suburb – we never knew where we were going to end up.” Watching his mother struggle, however, planted the seeds of success that would lead Rodgers to a lucrative career in the service industry and from there to an even more lucrative career with the founding of Bonecide Entertainment. Not knowing where his next meal was coming from or where he was going to lay his head down some nights forced Rodgers to grow up fast. He learned to fend for himself. Through all the uncertainty, the relocations and trials that accompany poverty in this country, Rodgers did have one constant in his life: his musical influences. From L.L. Cool J and Big Daddy Kane to Kool Moe Dee, Rodgers followed the lives and lyrics of his favorite rap artists, feeding his own love of music and performing. He began to freestyle, first in the confines of his own home, then in front of friends and audiences. Rodgers was glad to bust a beat and a rhyme for anyone willing to listen, and the feedback was unanimous: the kid could rap! Even with all the accolades, Rodgers still looked at a life in the music business as a dream that he couldn’t take seriously. But things got serious quick. At 16 Rodgers nearly lost his life after being shot. Soon after his recovery, his focus shifted. A number of tough life lessons led him to make some drastic changes. By the time he was 25, he began taking odd jobs. From landscaping and mowing lawns to portable barbeque pits, Rodgers was determined to make a new start for himself and begin building towards the future he was committed to obtaining. Saving every dollar he earned over the course of two years, he finally had enough to purchase an 18-wheeler. He began his trucking business as the lone employee, working day and night. Driving thousands of miles per week, he gradually earned enough to buy another truck and then another. Soon he had five trucks and trailers and a staff of drivers working for him. This business venture proved to be very lucrative for the young entrepreneur and he amassed a small fortune by the time he was 30. All the days and nights without sleep, without splurging on trivial pursuits and frivolity, had certainly paid off for Rodgers. As he sits in his penthouse office in Dallas’s upscale downtown business district, he pours over artists’ submissions to Bonecide Entertainment. “My focus now is on getting deep inside the music business. I have come to take over the game,” says Rodgers. “I want to know as much as I can about the business of music. We will be making the big deals and breaking the big artists in a very short period of time.” He is well on his way to fulfilling that aspect of the plan. Within the next year, Bonecide Entertainment will release a pop album, a country album and Rodgers’ own debut CD, Ghetto Government. With hip hop superstars like Lil Wayne, Jeezy and E40 on his roster of guest stars, some of the hottest undiscovered talent in the music industry, and the product diversity of Jive Records, Rodgers will be shaking things up across the Billboard charts in no time at all.
by John Breen
“Man on the Street”
Dallas Welcomes Nicki Minaj
R
ecently Nicki Minaj was in Dallas to support her debut album Pink Friday. Nicki was born in Jamaica Queens, New York and is a trained actress, singer and writer. She started as a backup singer for local rappers but soon began writing her own raps. She was discovered on MySpace by Dirty Money CEO Fendi, who signed her to his label. Lil Wayne discovered Nicki on a DVD made by Dirty Money and started a collaboration with her on the Young Money label. The resulting effort was her first mixtape, Playtime Is Over. The release of her second mixtape in 2008, Sucka Free, culminated with Nicki being awarded Best Female Artist of the Year from the Underground Music Awards. Recently Nicki beat out Justin Bieber for the Best New Artist award by BET. Nicki was gracious enough to field a few questions. Here’s how it went:
MUSIC: Nicki Minaj 1. Roman’s Revenge
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
2. Fly
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
3. Moment 4 Life
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
4. Check It Out
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
5. Blazin’
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
6. Last Chance
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
7. I’m The Best
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
8. Dear Old Nicki
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
9. Your Love
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
10. Here I Am
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
How has the DFW Metroplex been treating you? AMAZING! Tell us about your new album Pink Friday. I have songs with Eminem, will.i.am, Drake, Rihanna and Natasha Bedingfield. Who are some of the artists that have influenced your musical style? Salt-nPepa, Lauryn Hill, Jay-Z and Lil Wayne. You have been nominated and have won several awards. Is there one that stands out? They all mean a lot to me and have a special place in my heart. How difficult has it been to make it in the music industry? It’s been a long journey. I’ve always been putting in hard work and it is now beginning to pay off. What’s next for you? What are some of your goals that you would still like to accomplish? I’m just super-focused on promoting my new album Pink Friday and touring the globe and seeing all of my barbz n ken barbz n stud muffins up close and personal! MUAHHHHHHHH!
blitzweekly.com
6 November 24 - 30, 2010
STARS News
by Tony Barone
“The Senior Sports Authority”
Stars Rally at Home The Stars returned home after a dismal road trip (0-3 and outscored 12-3) and gained five out of a possible six points at the AAC last week. Brad Richards scored his 200th career goal to break a tie after a video review midway through the third period and the Stars edged the Anaheim Ducks 2-1 on Tuesday night. With the game tied at 1, Richards’ shot from the left circle glanced off the post, and the referees initially ruled no goal at 8:24 of the final period. Ducks Goalie Jonas Hiller controlled the puck to stop play, and replays showed that the puck fluttered over the goal line in the air. “I wasn’t sure,” Richards said. “I thought maybe it was in. But James (Neal) was right there and he thought for sure it was in.” Mike Ribeiro had been frustrated by his inability to put a puck in the net through the first 16 games of the season. The frustration ended on Thursday night as Ribeiro scored the Stars final two goals and they rallied from a 4-2 deficit to beat the San Jose Sharks 5-4 in overtime at American Airlines Center. Ribeiro scored the game-tying goal with 2:06 remaining in regulation and then notched the game-winner at 2:52 of overtime. “I would have taken them before but I guess this was a good time,” said Ribeiro. “It feels great. I’ve had some slumps in my career in the middle of the season – like it was in the 40th game of the year, or the 50th, and you don’t score – and you don’t really feel it, but this one was from the beginning of the season. It gets to you and I was a little bit frustrated. The boys kept joking with me and kept me smiling.” There was no win for the Stars on Saturday night at the AAC. But they did get a point and they showed a lot of bounce back in the process, rallying from a 3-0 deficit to force overtime before falling 4-3 in a shootout to the Colorado Avalanche. “We could have packed up our tent early and shipped this game out and regrouped for the next game. But g i v e credit to the
resiliency of the team,” said forward Steve Ott. “That’s something maybe we were lacking last year – that mental toughness – to get back in games when we’re down that many,” said Stars captain Brenden Morrow. “That hasn’t been the case this year. We’ve been able to scratch and claw and fight to the end.” The Stars’ play has been spotty the last two games at home and they have dug themselves into a hole in both of them, but they’ve been able to rally and come away with three out of a possible four points. While that’s a positive, falling behind in games on a regular basis is not a formula for success. “We’ve got the firepower to be able to come back in games,” said James Neal, “But at the same time we don’t want to be down goals and always be clawing our way back into games.” Through 18 games this season the Stars remain in last place in the Pacific Division with 21 points. However, that is only four points behind the first place L.A. Kings and the Stars have a game in hand. The Stars now play four of their next five on the road, where they’ve lost three in a row and four of the last five. That will put the Stars’ mental toughness to a good test.
Upcoming Schedule: 11/24 @ Senators 6:30pm 11/26 vs Blues 7:30pm 11/27 @ Blues 7:00pm 11/29 @ Hurricanes 6:30pm
November 24 - 30, 2010 7 blitzweekly.com
Crossword Solution by Tony Barone – “The Senior Sports Authority”
TCU vs. New Mexico Sat. Nov. 27 – 3:00 p.m. – University Stadium – Versus HD TCU rallied from an unusual two-touchdown deficit early and then held off a late comeback attempt by San Diego State for a 40-35 victory on Saturday, November 13th. The Horned Frogs now have to wonder how an odd Saturday will affect their national title hopes. TCU (11-0, 7-0 Mountain West) had its closest game of the season a week after a 40-point win at then-undefeated Utah, a victory that strengthened the Frogs’ hold on third place in the BCS standings. “We played a big game and we didn’t play as well as we needed to the next week,” Patterson said. “It’s not the final score we would have liked to have had, but bottom line, it falls under my category of (winning) by one point.” After a bye week, the Horned Frogs are set to finish the season at New Mexico. The Lobos have managed just one victory this season and have been outscored by their opponents 466-173. The Lobos have managed only 31 touchdowns and amassed 4963 yards this season, compared to 85 touchdowns and 7987 total yards for TCU. #4
by Frank LaCosta - “College Football Fanatic”
SMU vs. East Carolina Sat. Nov. 27 – 1:00PM – Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium – CBS-C SMU won their final home game of the season 31-17 over Marshall and by doing so became bowl-eligible. The Mustangs (6-5, 5-2 C-USA) scored first against the Thundering Herd and didn’t look back. QB Kyle Padron ended up completing 17 of 30 passes for 230 yards and a pair of TDs. RB Zach Line on 30 carries rushed for 202 yards and a TD. WR Cole Beasley led the team in receptions and receiving yards with eight catches for 99 yards. June Jones has to be proud of this accomplishment but know that his work isn’t done. If SMU defeats the East Carolina Pirates they will play in the C-USA Title Game and will represent the West Division. This Saturday the Mustangs take on the Pirates (6-5, 5-2 C-USA). They are led by Junior QB Dominique Davis. He has a cannon for an arm and has passed for over 200 yards in every game this season. RB Jonathan Williams is the featured back. WR Dwayne Harris is a deep threat and WR Lance Lewis is the possession receiver. This could be a shoot-out since the Pirates can score plenty of points but their defense is ranked dead last in all of college football.
Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce, Darryl Briggs, Joe Lorenzini
by Frank LaCosta - “College Football Fanatic”
Kansas State vs. UNT Sat. Nov. 27 – 3:00PM – Fouts Field UNT lost to the Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks last Saturday in a game with several lead changes. With a little under three minutes left in the game, the Warhawks put the game away with a TD pass to extend their lead to 49-37 over UNT. Riley Dodge completed 14 of 26 passes for 164 yards and two TDs. RB Lance Dunbar had 19 carries for 134 yards and a TD. WR Darius Carey led the team with 85 yards receiving. This week the Mean Green (3-8, 3-5 Sun Belt) play their last game of the season at home. This will be the last game played at Fouts Field. The K-State Wildcats (6-5, 3-5 Big 12) come to town. The Wildcats started out the season with four straight wins and have lost more games than they have won since then. Carson Coffman is the quarterback under center and has been serviceable. Look for RB Daniel Thomas to carry the football on rushing downs. He’s a tall back with pretty good speed. WR Aubrey Quarles has big play potential. This game all boils down to UNT stopping the run. Saturday will be a momentous occasion so come out and support the Mean Green.
NFL: Saints vs. Cowboys
Thur. Nov. 25 – 3:15PM – Cowboys Stadium – FOX A Thanksgiving Day tradition continues when the Saints and Cowboys square off. The high octane passing attack of the Saints will keep the Cowboys defense in a state of flux. The Cowboys have won two in a row under their new Head Coach, Jason Garrett. It seems like Jon Kitna is at ease and the offense is responding to him. Can the Cowboys continue their winning ways?
College Football: (2) Auburn vs. (9) Alabama
Fri. Nov. 26 – 1:30PM – Bryant-Denny Stadium – CBS Forget “Black Friday” shopping, it’s the Iron Bowl. This one should live up to the hype. If Auburn’s Cam Newton can stay focused and their defense can play well then they should win a close game. Alabama, though, would love nothing more than to ruin Auburn’s National Title dream. Nick Saban will have the Crimson Tide ready to roll.
College Football: (14) Oklahoma vs. (10) Oklahoma St. Sat. Nov. 27 – 7:00PM – Boone Pickens Stadium – ABC The Bedlam Series returns to Stillwater and if Oklahoma State wins they win the Big 12 South and are in the Big 12 Title game. If Oklahoma wins they have a shot at winning the Big 12 South also. Emotions will be running high for both teams. Both teams possess high scoring offenses and the game should reflect that fact.
NBA: Heat vs. Mavericks
Sat. Nov. 27 – 7:30PM – American Airlines Center – KTXA The New Kids on the Block aka the Miami Heat make their only regular season appearance at the AAC on Saturday. The Mavericks are going through a tough stretch of games. It’ll be interesting to see how the Mavs defense holds up – as well as to see how the LeBron-WadeBosh triumvirate are getting along.
MAVS
blitzweekly.com
8 November 24 - 30, 2010
ANOTHER STEP IN THE PROCESS
by Joe Avezzano “The Coach”
One streak was going to be broken. The Lions had not won in 25 straight road games and the Cowboys had not won at home this year. Both teams were 2-7 with the Lions looking like the more promising team based on their closeness of scores. In a strange game that required the team and fans to hang in there, the Cowboys won 35-19. Winning the turnover battle was vital, as well as making big plays, like Bryan McCann’s 97-yard punt return for a TD. Playing from the lead allows the game to be more balanced in the run-pass ratio as there were 30 runs and 24 passes. There will always be ups and downs in a ball game – it’s how you react to them that influences the outcome. Jon Kitna continues to provide leadership quality as well as a production level that eliminates not having Romo as an excuse for failure. The offense has been spreading the ball around and reducing turnovers. As the games have been closer the running game has been more relevant. The defense is following a bend but don’t break scheme that has allowed opponents to run more plays – and make more mistakes. The kicking game has produced helpful plays even though Buehler’s overall results have been inconsistent. His kick-offs were better but he kicked one out of bounds, which is unforgivable. McBriar is a fantastic punter in every respect. Big plays, opponents’ mistakes, winning the turnover battle – that will get it done every week. But what about this week? The defending champions come to town after a rough start in many ways caused by injuries. They appear to be getting healthy and the offense is again producing large numbers. With Drew Brees going well and Reggie Bush getting ready the Dallas defense will be challenged. The Giants put up a lot of yards and the Saints can too. Will Jon Kitna lead this offense to results and/or field position? Will McCann and Bryant produce big plays? Will the Cowboys win the turnover battle? They might surprise many people on Thursday. I hope everyone enjoys the holidays and the tradition of watching the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day.
Dallas Cowboys
by Jay Betsill “Man On the Inside”
“It certainly wasn’t pretty in all areas today,” Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett said following Dallas’ 35-19 victory over the Detroit Lions. “What we’re finding out about our team is that it has a lot of fight.” That statement is a victory in itself coming off the team’s second consecutive win after two humiliating defeats that ended with the dismissal of Wade Phillips. The win allowed Garrett to become the third interim head coach to win his first two games since 2000. In the process, a new star has been born in Bryan McCann with his two huge plays that were keys to the two victories. A week ago against the Giants, the rookie cornerback out of SMU had a 101-yard interception return and this week he followed it up with a punt return of 97 yards that completely changed the momentum of the game. Quarterback Jon Kitna shone against his former team with three touchdowns and Dez Bryant caught his team-best sixth touchdown. The defense also did its part as they had three sacks, a forced fumble and Terence Newman’s 25th career interception. The Cowboys (3-7) welcome the defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints (6-3) to town for their annual Thanksgiving Day game. It is a quick turnaround and both teams are coming off decisive victories. The Saints have put things back together over the last few weeks and are fresh off a 34-19 stomping of the Seattle Seahawks. “It wasn’t pretty or clean,” Saints head coach Sean Payton said. “But I thought we played with a lot of energy and effort.” His comments seem to echo the sentiments of Cowboys coach Jason Garrett as both coaches seem to be trying to keep their teams on an even keel in the short week. The Cowboys defense will have a huge test as Saints quarterback Drew Brees is coming off a week in which he threw for 382 yards and four touchdowns. And there is the possibility that running back Reggie Bush may return from injury. A win by the Cowboys over the Saints would give fans a reason to believe that the sour start to the season is in the past and the future is looking bright in Arlington.
November 24 - 30, 2010 9
by H. Todd J. Moore
The United States and Canada both have some form of Thanksgiving Day in the autumn of every year. Here in the U.S., it’s the fourth Thursday of every November. In Canada, it’s the second Monday in October. There is a whole history we were fed as kids. Pilgrims, Indians – yeah, we said Indians back then – sharing the bounty of the land in an effort to create peace and community. We enjoy being cynical about how all of that went straight to hell in the ensuing years, yet we’re brazen enough to create a national holiday from the occasion. But today I am not interested in that Thanksgiving history. I want to talk about the histories we have created with our lives. Perhaps it’s a contrived holiday with somewhat shaky foundations. For more than two centuries we as a country have turned it into a family day. Now it involves watching various televised ritual battle events following a morning commerce parade. It involves arcane rites of preparing and eating large Native American birds that render us comatose after consumption, or perhaps venison or other interesting quadrupeds, and foods that
decorate the table in earth tones. As a child, Thanksgiving was a boring holiday. So what if my family gathered or traveled to see other some relatives who smelled funny? It was a bump in the road on the way to Christmas and a few days off school. Now, with children of my own in three different parts of the country, having them all together under one roof is well nigh impossible. I have a fantastic family under my roof at this moment, and count myself fortunate on that count. But there were many years that I had myself, and that’s all. Perhaps I’d go to some friends, find something to do, but sometimes I had just myself, or myself and my son.
The NFL’s Thanksgiving Classic has been around since 1920 but the first actual Thanksgiving Day professional football game was played in 1902. Over the years several different teams have played on this holiday. In 1966 the Dallas Cowboys hosted their first game and have made history ever since. They’ve hosted the game every year since except in 1975 and 1977 when they didn’t play on that day. Their record leading into this week’s game is 27-14-1. Here’s a look at some of their most memorable Thanksgiving Day games. Nov. 24, 1966 vs. Cleveland Browns – The first game hosted by the Cowboys, their 26-14 victory was a classic. Tom Landry’s pregame speech was short and to the point. He was quoted as saying, “I have all the confidence in the world you will win this football game.” Enough said. Nov. 27, 1969 vs. San Francisco 49ers – The Cowboys offense was stuck in neutral only netting 14 yards before halftime. K Mike Clark had a chance to win the game but his field goal attempt failed. The result was a 24-24 tie. Nov. 23, 1972 vs. San Francisco 49ers – The Cowboys first loss on Thanksgiving Day. Turnovers were the difference that day; Dallas had four and San Francisco had none. Starting QB Craig Morton was sacked six times and backup Roger Staubach three. The 49ers won 31-10.
by Frank LaCosta
Thanksgiving was not often idyllic or even close to pleasant. It was… nothing at all. If you find yourself unable to be with some or all of your family, you’re not the only one. Forget the cliché that holidays are lonely. Of course they are. But we deal with it. We go on and we bury it and get up the next day to try to assemble or reassemble our lives. Thanksgiving is not ever going to be perfect. The ideal family holiday never will be. We are not going to be traveling back in time to fix things so they can be perfect now. We may not be able to get our family under one roof and sit down at one table for our ritual meal. Some things may be completely, per-
“Football Fanatic”
Nov. 28, 1974 vs. Washington Redskins – The Redskins sent starting QB Roger Staubach to the sidelines in pain after being tackled by LB Dave Robinson. Landry turned to the backup, Clint “Mad Bomber” Longley and said, “Get in. Good luck.” Longley would lead the Cowboys to a 2423 victory in the final 28 seconds. Nov. 26, 1987 vs. Minnesota Vikings – This was the first overtime Thanksgiving Day game for the Cowboys and it didn’t end in their favor. QB Danny White had five TDs that day but it wasn’t enough. The defense gave up a 24yard scamper to RB Darrin Nelson to end the game. White had tears in his eyes and the Cowboys playoff hopes were dashed. Nov. 23, 1989 vs. Philadelphia Eagles – First-year Head Coach Jimmy Johnson watched in disbelief as K Luis Zendejas was knocked out of the game after only one kickoff. Apparently there were bounties on Zendejas ($200) and QB Troy Aikman ($500). Eagles Head Coach Buddy Ryan denied knowledge of the bounties. The Cowboys suffered their first Turkey Day shutout losing 27-0 to the Eagles. Nov. 25, 1993 vs. Miami Dolphins – Freezing rain, snow, ice and Leon Lett. One of the weirdest finishes to a game. The Cowboys blocked a Pete Stoyanovich 19-yard field
“Freelance Hubrist”
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Creating Thanksgiving (Out of Nothing atAll) manently broken, and there’s nothing we can do about it. So what? It’s Thanksgiving. It’s lonely. Life is hard and that’s too damned bad. We have promises to keep, bills to pay, stuff to do. What we can take solace in, truly be thankful for, is this: we are not alone. There are others just like us who take the heat and the crap and just deal, and when Thanksgiving comes around, they find some kind of family or some friends, and share with the family they have, and make merry. This Thanksgiving, find something to be thankful for. Thank those you know for what they mean to you. If you pray, pray that thanks. Look at those you’re with and know what that thanks really means. But this Thanksgiving, if you are alone, or there are family missing, raise a silent toast. In the silence, give thanks to the others who echo loss and loneliness. Just a small, silent toast. Give thanks to one another – across the street, across town, across the nation and the world. Know that there is at least one other person toasting you back. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.
goal only to watch Leon Lett attempt to recover the ball. Lett brought the dead ball to life as he slid into it and the Dolphins recovered the ball on the one with three seconds to go. Pete kicked the game-winning field goal and handed the Cowboys a 16-14 loss. Nov. 26, 1998 vs. Minnesota Vikings – Randy Moss made the Cowboys pay for passing on him in the draft. Deion Sanders was out (sprained big toe) and Moss had a field day, scoring three TDs. Vikes won 46-36. Nov. 25, 2004 vs. Chicago Bears – Back in the Dark Ages the Cowboys had Bill Parcells and a QB named Drew Henson. In the first half Henson went 4-of-12 for 31 passing yards and an interception, a 45-yard touchdown by R.W. McQuarters of the Bears. With the score tied 7-7, Parcells benched Henson and brought in Vinny Testaverde. The fans booed Henson going into halftime and booed Testaverde coming out. Vinny though threw a TD pass and rookie RB Julius Jones rushed for 150 yards and two TDs. The Cowboys won 21-7 that day. Nov. 23, 2006 vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – QB Tony Romo was playing in his first Thanksgiving Day game and made the most of it. Romo completed 22 of 29 passes for 306 yards and five TDs. He was the first Cowboy QB to do it at Texas Stadium. The Cowboys won easily 38-10.
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10 November 24 - 30, 2010
Carmine’s Pizzeria
1565 W. Main Street - Ste. 210 • Lewisville - 75067 972-956-0705 • www.carmineslewisville.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: At Carmine’s Pizzeria you can order an entire New York Style Pizza or by the slice. They start with their own special dough and sauce recipe, utilizing fresh Italianstyle ingredients in a traditional brick oven. Other Carmine’s favorites include Calzones, Stromboli, homemade Lasagna, Alfredos, Ziti, Cannelloni. Try the Oven-Roasted Chicken Wings! Known For: New York Style Pizza, pasta, BYOB, delivery to Flower Mound, Lewisville, Highland Village and parts of Coppell and Gapevine, locally owned and operated On The Side: Homemade Meat Lasagna, oven-baked wings, sub sandwiches, Calzones and Stromboli
Cavalli Pizza
3601 Regent Blvd. - Ste. 115 •Irving - 75063 972-915-0001 • www.cavallipizza.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: No longer a hidden gem in the Metroplex, Cavalli Pizza is greatness. Baked in a wood-fired oven, the extremely thin pizza is served piping hot. The cheese is minimal and the sauce is vibrant and fresh tasting. The fact that they’re certified by the Verace Pizza Napoletana Association means that it’s damn good. Try their dessert pizza, you won’t regret it. Known For: VPN Approved, Margherita Extra Pizza, specialty toppings, white pizzas, wood-fired oven On The Side: BYOB, mobile oven, dessert pizzas, Meatball Parmigiana, Calamari Fritti
Coal Vines
2404 Cedar Springs - Ste. 500 • Dallas - 75201 214-855-4999• www.coalvines.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: The authentic New York Style pizzeria pie comes from a 900-degree oven. The small space makes for a true feel of back in New York that you have to experience. While prime time is packed and you have to wait outside, it is well worth it! The most popular late-late night scene in the McKinney Avenue area. Known For: The coal-burning oven, an entire wall of bottles of wine and great service On The Side: Citrus Salmon Rolls, White Pizza, Godfather Sandwich, delectable dessert Turnover and the Eggplant Milanese Sandwich
Joe’s Pizza Pasta & Subs
1904 E. Belt Line Road • Carrollton - 75006 972-416-6555 • www.joespizzasubs.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: This family-ownedand-operated establishment has been here for over 12 years. Awesome Italian dishes with affordable prices. Brick ovencooked pizzas, hand-tossed with fresh ingredients, prepared daily. Strong New York ties with New York-style pizza by the slice. Plus they give back to the community. This Thanksgiving will mark their 3rd Annual Soup Kitchen. Contact them to see how you can help out! Known For: Pizza by the slice, home of the free adult beverage, a trip to New York without leaving the state On The Side: Fettucine Alfredo, Baked Ziti, Lasagna, Cannelloni, Cannoli and Zappolis upon request
Luigi’s Pizza Italian Restaurant
2317 West University Drive, Suite C3 • Denton 76201 • 940-591-1988
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: College kids don’t have it easy these days when looking for good pizza that is affordable. Luigi’s is the answer. The attentive waitstaff will take care of you. The giant seasoned yeast rolls are free! The garlic butter on the crust is addictive. They also have great Fettucine Alfredo. Known For: Free rolls, deep-dish pizza, Fettucine Alfredo, affordable prices On The Side: Delivery, Calzones, Manicotti, cool dining-room murals
November 24 - 30, 2010 11 blitzweekly.com
Sal’s Pizza
2525 Wycliff Avenue • Dallas - 75219 214-522-1828 • www.salspizzadallas.com
Pizza Getti
3302 N. Buckner - Ste. 108 • Dallas - 75228 214-320-2195 • www.pizzagetti.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: The original restaurant opened in 1968 and has been serving East Dallas ever since. Their pizza is thin-crust and oven-cooked to perfection. There are four sizes to choose from and the quaint dining area is comfortable. The lunch buffet is a must. Try one of the sandwiches for a change of pace! Known For: Great lunch buffet, thin crust pizza, East Dallas landmark On The Side: Garlic Cheese Toast, Spaghetti with Meatballs, Lasagna, and Canadian Bacon Sandwich
Primo Brothers Pizza
9310 Forest Lane - Ste. 334 • Dallas - 75243 214-341-4414 • www.primobrotherspizza.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: Same great location for over 27 years. This family-owned-andoperated restaurant originated in New York. The dough and sauce is made fresh daily in-house, as well as the entire menu. Strong supporter of the local community. Check out the banquet room for your next party. Try the oven-baked pizzas, Chicken Parmigiana and the homemade salad dressing. The Philly Cheesesteaks are awesome. Known For: $5 lunch special. It’s a slice, salad and drink…tax included! BYOB, the first restaurant to create a Mavs “Blue” pizza that we know of. On The Side: Stromboli, Brother’s Salad, Chicken Cappellini, Calzones, Margherita Pizza and Cannoli
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: They’ve been serving up great pizza since the ’80s and haven’t slowed down. It’s like a taste of Brooklyn in the heart of Dallas. What makes Sal’s unique is the variety of toppings that they offer, in particular the “Special Toppings.” Try one with eggplant, artichoke hearts or their giant meatballs if you don’t believe us! Get it by the slice or extra-large. You can’t go wrong. Known For: White pizza, special toppings, Italian hero sandwiches, interesting waitstaff On The Side: Free delivery, veal dishes, Shrimp Scampi, Cappuccino Pie, Combo Dinner
Scalini’s Pizza & Pasta
2021 Abrams Road • Dallas - 75214 214-821-8088 • www.scalinisdallas.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: The former Lakewood village landmark for Italian food has now added a second location on Shire Road out on the George Bush Turnpike ’burbs in Richardson. The paperthin pizzas have a wonderful homemade tomato sauce. The family atmosphere is low-key and comfortable. Known For: Pizza cut Chicago style, a Lakewood gem, ingredients are fresh On The Side: Toasted Ravioli, Crab Claws, Smoked Chicken Ravioli and Pesto Pizza
Zini’s Pizzeria
2639 Elm Street • Dallas - 75226 214-571-9299 • www.zinispizza.com
Why It’s Blitz-Worthy: The Pizza is really good, and they deliver 24 hours a day. They put 15 ingredients in their flavorful crust. Voted best pizza in Dallas 2010 Citysearch. Both locations are in the Downtown area and are open late night. You can go grab a slice and a beer for less than $5. They are a Deep Ellum staple. If you go, you have to try the 100-Pounder, it is the ultimate pepperoni pizza. If you work downtown abd have not tried Zini’s you are missing out. Known For: The 100-Pounder, Garlic CheeZi bread, the Farmers Market Pizza, and late night delivery. On The Side: Best Brownie ever, big salads, Cedar Springs location has patio for great people watching. Deep Ellum location has neighborhood bar open on weekend nights.
November 24 - 30, 2010 13
Find your car in even the largest mall parking lot, or find your way back to the ribs in even the smokiest tailgating situation with the Bushnell BackTrack Point 5. Like the original BackTrack, this sleeker model navigates you back to any location with just the push of a button. This new model also adds a digital compass, the current time, temperature, and altitude, plus the ability to mark and store up to five locations. (Price - $68)
Although we’re mostly made of water, humans are meant for living on dry land — hence our lack of webbed feet or hands. DarkFin Gloves fix half of this equation with a rear-webbed design that increases surface area by 70%, helps you tread water using less energy, and builds upper body strength. They’re made from durable, flexible latex rubber, and are perfect for scuba diving, swimming, sky divers, or just freaking out your kids at bath time. (Price - $25)
by Adam Bruster
“Health Guru”
The holiday season is fast-approaching; Thanksgiving is just around the corner. This is the time of year to be with family, feast on homemade food and watch football! Avoiding holiday weight gain can be difficult. A profusion of holiday parties and family dinners supplies us with an abundance of food and drink choices that are not easy to turn down. However, you can enjoy your time with family and friends at the dinner table without feeling guilty and gaining weight. Listed below are tips on how to prevent holiday weight gain:
Photos Courtesy: Gveret Tered
*Have a consistent workout routine going into the holiday season: People who exercise regularly throughout the year are much less likely to gain holiday weight. Their metabolism is elevated on a regular basis, which helps them become a more efficient fat-burning machine. If you are not exercising regularly now, go ahead and get started! *Go for a walk or play football after dinner: Get outside with the family and move around for 10 or 20 minutes. This will elevate your metabolism and burn off some of the calories from the big turkey dinner. You can nap on the couch after this outdoor activity. *Do not starve yourself before the big meal: This will slow down your metabolism, leave you low on energy, and will cause you to overindulge at the dinner table. Snack on a few pieces of turkey before the feast.
*Don’t gorge on desserts: Desserts are high in sugar and fat, and will lead you to the couch with a decrease in energy. Enjoy some of the sweet stuff, but don’t load the plate to maximum capacity. *Eat slowly: It takes about 15 to 20 minutes for our stomachs to receive a signal from the brain telling us that we are full. Chewing a little slower and taking time to enjoy a conversation with family will keep you from eating like it’s your last meal! *Squeeze in a few workouts: Try to fit in a few resistance training workouts during your vacation. If you are visiting family out of town, go find a gym and do a quick workout. It can be fun to exercise in a different setting than you are used to – it’s like a meathead vacation! If you don’t have access to a gym, get outside and do some squats, pushups and pullups. Don’t worry about doing your regular routine, just get in a 20or 30-minute workout, then head back to grandma’s house for some left-over turkey. Enjoy the holiday season and all of the great things that go along with it. Don’t obsess about gaining weight because you just ate turkey, dressing, and pumpkin pie. Let’s be realistic: if we exercise and eat healthy on a regular basis throughout the year, we are not going to gain a substantial amount of weight from a few parties and family dinners. Your lifestyle throughout the year will dictate physical appearance and health, not the Thanksgiving dinner that you just consumed. I don’t expect to see a ten pound gain, two days after Thanksgiving or Christmas, from people at my gym who regularly lift weights, run, cycle, and maintain their weight all year long. People who put on weight over the holidays most likely didn’t adhere to proper nutrition and exercise throughout the year. *Consult physician before beginning exercise routines
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It might be too late to find yourself a spot on the Panthers’ bench this season, but if you’re shooting to make an NFL — or just intramural — squad next year, you might as well start with Active NFL Training Camp. This Wii game/trainer uses the Wiimote, an included heart rate monitor, motion sensors embedded in included leg and arm straps, and the Wii Balance Board to run you through a host of drills and challenges meant to take you from on-the-couch to on-the-field shape in 60 days, leading up to a trip to the Combine. Remember: Only Jimmy Clausen stands between you and everlasting glory. (Price - $100)
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14 November 24 - 30, 2010
MAVS News
by Geoff Case “NBA Analyst”
Mavs homework assignment: Boards and Bench The Mavericks were out-rebounded by a whopping margin of 25 on Friday against the Chicago Bulls, the overriding factor in a frustrating home loss. The team’s work on the boards overall this season just hasn’t been that efficient. Dallas went into Saturday’s game with a rebound differential of minus-0.27, which came in at 18th in the league. So even on nights when Dirk Nowitzki absolutely goes off offensively the failure to hit the glass can be the Mavs’ downfall. “I’m concerned about our rebounding,” coach Rick Carlisle said. “There are going to be nights where Dirk is going to have a huge night, he’s that great a player. But 20 offensive rebounds and 25 second-chance points is just tempting fate too much, it’s as simple as that.” Backup center Brendan Haywood, who’s struggled lately on the boards, cited
positioning and effort when asked about the rebounding woes. “Offensive rebounds come down to team defensive schemes and effort, so at the end of the day, we got to go and get those rebounds and be much more aggressive than we were,” Haywood said. Dallas won the rebounding battle Saturday, grabbing 40 boards to the Hawks’ 37. Being out-rebounded by 25 the night before explained the team’s mindset Saturday, according to F Shawn Marion, who had 10 rebounds and 12 points. “We were ticked off a little bit. We definitely made a conscious effort to block out.” The Mavericks’ start isn’t bad considering the level of competition and the depth of the Western Conference. Dallas can’t forget that they were a few plays away from winning two or three of those games. Dirk Nowitzki has been stellar and Jason Kidd solid. Tyson Chandler has given the team a new dimension at center, and Jason Terry has made the transition back to sixth man. The biggest problem the Mavericks have got to sort out is why Caron Butler and the rest of the bench
have struggled so far. “We’ve got a lot of room to improve, a lot of room,” team owner Mark Cuban said. “We’ve got to execute better. The defense has got room to improve. Just lots of room to improve.” The Mavericks have convinced us they are a much better team with Tyson Chandler than last year’s squad but still struggle to score during key phases of the game. This allows the opponent to keep the game within striking distance until the end rather than blowing them out. This causes wear and tear on the older players that shouldn’t be necessary. This starts and ends with J.J. Barea because the Mavs have been trying to hide his struggles with zone defense and giving him minutes with Dirk Nowitzki on the court. Barea has played better as of late
but his erratic play this season sends the Mavs’ bench into cold spells when he’s not getting dribble penetration or hitting his shots. Keep an eye on how this situation develops because the Mavericks might make a move for a back-up point guard at the deadline. The remedy to the problem might be sitting in dress clothes in Rodrigue Beaubois who is out until sometime in December. If he keeps up his level of play from last season it should make defenses key on him and clear some breathing room for Barea. This might be just what the doctor ordered when discussing the bench’s offensive woes. While it may be ill-advised to put so much pressure on a young player, if he is what fans hope he is, the Mavs should be favorites to make it to the Western Conference finals.
Upcoming Schedule: 11/24 @ Thunder 7:00pm 11/26 @ Spurs 7:30pm 11/27 vs Heat 7:30pm 11/29 vs Rockets 7:30pm
November 24 - 30, 2010 15
Nothing is more torturous during family functions than tedious small talk. Sometimes it can feel like 40 mini-interviews over a span of a few hours, and all of this while your relatives are chain-smoking, being highly neurotic, or brooding over many years of family dysfunction. Although talking shop can be a great way to network at these events, it’s always very helpful to come prepared with a strategy.
The Duck and Run
Football
Eat yourself into a coma and then settle into the couch for the rest of the afternoon. This will get you out of tedious conversations or chores because interrupting a football fan is just downright un-American. Also, talking about football is a safe, neutral area, as long as you don’t talk about NFL players who text photos of their genitals. And if you have enough energy you can boost camaraderie by protesting the bad calls made by blind refs.
After going over the necessary mini-interview points – what kind of work you’re doing, how the kids are, your parents, etc. – you can avoid the awkwardness when conversation runs out with the tried and true duck and run. You can also duck out of a one-sided, rambling conversation about your eccentric cousin John’s modern dance recital while being shown photo ops on his phone of his new leotard. Children and pets are great for this. Just as your cousin is describing how well women’s pantyhose accent muscle definition, you can give some attention to that little mutt at your heels who’s begging for scraps. With kids, you can give them attention and then go play with them for as long as you need to. That way it will appear that you aren’t avoiding the adults and their mind-numbing conversation. Also, the old “I’m going to get a drink,” works every time.
The Diffuse and Retreat
Sometimes family feuds can ignite even when things look like a Norman Rockwell painting. A long-standing, contained fight can easily escalate as the alcohol flows. The best thing to do is to intervene without appearing that you’re meddling. This is a great strategy when you really find yourself in a bind and there is no way that logic or reasoning will cut through the chaos. Fake an injury. It could be a muscle cramp, a bee sting, or a stiff neck. You can easily slink away to treat your injury and contain the situation. This strategy will also help you to shirk unpleasant cooking duties or chores.
Subject Changers
You can’t always use the duck and run, so if you’re stuck in a boring conversation, try to change the subject for your benefit. For example, if your computergeek cousin is going on and on about modem mechanisms, ask him about how you can increase the search rankings for your website or blog, or propose a business proposition to your uncle the investment banker.
THANKS TO GRANDPA I’m a devoted subscriber to the righteousness of social justice. Pedophiles should have 100% lean ground beef forcefully jammed into every available orifice, and then be summarily tossed into a cage full of rabid hyenas. Lying politicians should be sentenced to hard labor working as call center reps in Mumbai, India, and fed a steady diet of rancid goat meat and stagnant river water until they fully grasp the philosophical concept of “crap coming out of both ends.” And old men should be revered as quintessential “real men” and left the hell alone to enjoy the dignified fruits and benefits of age that they so rightly deserve. I was sitting in the coffee shop (the premier spot for critical social observation), and witnessed what I fear is far too often the fate of many of our “elderly brethren of the Y chromosome.” Grandma was radiant with her blue-hair coif, tailored pantsuit and matching shoes and purse. Grandpa was resplendent in stereotypical Grandpa-wear: plaid Bermuda shorts, striped sport shirt, spit-shined wingtip shoes and nylon socks…one black and one brown. He had faded green tattoos scratched across both forearms, remnants from a bygone era when soldiers came home with ink that had meaning beyond a fashion statement.
by Dennis Hambright
Grandpa had paid his dues. Grandma didn’t even ask what he wanted but ordered him a tall decaf and loudly announced, “He can’t handle caffeine. Keeps him up at night, and I can’t be having that.” Grandpa grunted, then she gave him “the look” and said, “I can’t believe I let you out of the house looking like that.” I was raised a gentleman, so I can’t punch an old lady in the forehead. But I’ll admit I did have a little fantasy about cranking a wedgie so severe up her backside that Jean Naté powder shot out the toes of her extra-support panty hose, blowing a puff of fragrant white fog onto the counter top. Ahh…the wonders of imagination. Here’s how I see it: Grandpa either fought in the Big War, or waded through the muck in some far-off Asian rice paddy. He raised his kids, paid his bills, worked at a job he probably didn’t really enjoy, but he did it because it was the right thing to do for his family, and that’s what “real men” do. He paid off his mortgage, mowed his grass, taught his sons to fish and hunt and how to throw a spiral pass, and scared the hell out of the teenage boys who came sniffing around his daughters. He stuck with Grandma all those years because he loved her, even though she’s not the happy-go-lucky,
www.dennishambright.com
shiny penny he first met many, many years ago. Yep, grandpa paid his dues in spades, and now it’s time he enjoyed the fruits of a life well spent. So here’s a suggestion to any cranky old crones or ungrateful children who seem to forget who buttered their bread all those years and think they need to tell Grandpa how to live his life. Back off and let Grandpa swing to the beat of his own music… He damned well earned it! So what if he’s fashion-handicapped, or wants a sip of the “good stuff” after dinner, or enjoys an occasional ogle at some young sweetie at the supermarket? Cut the man some slack, he deserves it. And here’s an idea. Instead of criticizing him for what you think he doesn’t do right these days, how about a pat on the back and a big thank you for all the right things he has done.
Photo of Joe Nardiello, about to be 102 years old, with his namesake grandson
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How to Survive Family Functions
by Kelly G. Reed
“Dude with an Appetite”
by Vivian Fullerlove and Dawn Spalding
Joe Avezzano was for years the Dallas Cowboys’ Special Teams Coach, and coached for the Dallas Desperados and the Oakland Raiders as well. He remains the only coach to have been named Coach of the Year three times by his peers. After leaving the Cowboys, Joe has remained active in the Dallas sports and music scene in a number of ways. Owning sports bars and music venues with his son Tony has kept him close to the game. Also, for many years he headed a fund-raising concert that showcased some of the greatest artists in country music and raised millions of dollars for the Special Olympics. In addition he has been a strong presence on radio and TV and many young fans know him through his pre-game and post-game radio shows – including many women whose husbands are often off with their buds when football is being discussed. Gaining football knowledge from their busy husbands is sometimes comparable to get-
ting their young, techno-wizard children to help them learn new software or deal with a malfunctioning computer or printer. Well, such women – at least in the Metroplex – need be illiterate no longer when it comes to football. Coach Joe is conducting a monthly seminar on the signs, symbols and meaning of football-speak at Studio Movie Grill on Central Expressway and Royal Lane through January 2011! Sponsored by Turning Leaf Wines, the series is called Ladies Locker Room: X’s and O’s with Coach Joe. Sessions will take place on the fourth Wednesday of the month – November 24th, December 22nd and January 26, 2011, in Dallas. The Studio Movie Grill is at Central Expressway and Royal Lane. Tickets are $10. For more event and ticket information about Ladies Locker Room, log onto www. llrcoachjoe.com
Corinne’s Catfish & Bakery 1565 West Main Street Suite 225 Lewisville – 75067 PH: 972-906-5530 www.corinnescatfish.com The bustling town of Lewisville keeps surprising us with new places to dine. As you drive into town, there is a sign that reads: Lewisville – Pop. 92,850. Once the census numbers have been tabulated that number will no doubt be higher. The locals here must be huge supporters of the “mom & pop” shops as these venues continue to open their doors to the dining public. Corinne’s Catfish & Bakery is following this trend. They recently opened a second location in Lewisville on Main Street. Located in a strip mall as you head west on Main Street, the store is easy to miss if you aren’t paying attention. The décor is fairly simple. The concrete floor is clean and the red tables and black chairs match the ceiling. The walls are yellow/orange with humorous signs on them. A chandelier hangs in the middle of the dining room with a faux fireplace to create a down-home feel. Note to self: I don’t think the guys will appreciate the candelabrum. They will appreciate the large HD flatscreens. The Eats Corrine’s offers an array of appetizers – I tried the New Orleans Style Crab Cakes. Five to an order simply isn’t enough. The crab meat in the center was greatness. Feel free to dip your crab cakes in either tartar or cocktail sauce. The Cajun Fried Wings piqued my interest; I’ll try them next time. Of the various salads offered, try the Cajun Chicken Salad, served with fried or grilled chicken. The Blackened Grilled Salmon Salad has fresh greens and garden veggies. If you want soup with a salad, try the Gumbo! The dark roux is accompanied by shrimp of various sizes, Cajun sausage and white rice. I had to add a little hot sauce to
spice it up. And there’s no okra, a good thing for some. Corinne’s also has sandwiches of all shapes and sizes: the standard Shrimp, Catfish, Cajun Sausage and Oyster PoBoy. I really enjoyed the Blackened Chicken Po-Boy. I haven’t tried their Gourmet Cajun Bacon Cheeseburger yet, but according to the menu you can add an egg to top it off. Take that, McDonald’s! And Corinne’s catfish? Try the Catfish Nugget Basket as an appetizer or one of her “combo” meals—usually some combination of hand-battered or grilled shrimp and deep fried or grilled catfish with coleslaw, cornbread or hushpuppies and fries on the side. All are garnished with onions, pickles and jalapenos. The home-style experience goes beyond the above-mentioned menu items. Among the entrees, the Blackened Tilapia holds its own: two filets on a bed of rice with two sides and cornbread. The Etouffée should be tried as well. I also saw Cheese Grits on the menu. Hmmm… Desserts Corinne’s has a long list of desserts available for those craving some sweetness. In the display case I saw a variety of cakes, pies and cookies. I was tempted to try the Sock It To Me Cake which is a yellow cake with pecan, cinnamon and brown sugar icing. For the real dessert fiends there will be no disappointment. I am sure that I will be returning to Corinne’s Catfish & Bakery sooner than expected. I am looking forward to trying their other dishes and will be happy to report on the crawfish once the season hits. I know you’ll enjoy the meal and the good times.
Photos Courtesy: Yu-Ping Chen
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16 November 24 - 30, 2010
HORRORSCOPES
FUNNIES
Q: What’s the Redhead Dating Motto? A: The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage. Q: Why should lawyers always be buried face down? A: If they wake up, they’ll start digging. Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: Because they want to. Q: What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? A: The position of the dirt bag.
At The Drugstore The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall, with a very strange look on his face. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up. “He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,” the clerk explains. “So I gave him a box of laxatives and told him to take it all at once.” “Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot,” the owner shouts angrily. “Sure it will,” the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. “Look at him. He’s too afraid to cough.”
ACROSS: 1. Objection 6. In this way 10. Anagram of “Salt” 14. Humiliate 15. Diminish 16. Smack 17. Impulses 18. Flair 19. Rice beer 20. Rambunctious 22. Portent 23. Sixth sense 24. A short trip to do a task 26. The 11th letter of the Greek alphabet 30. Stupefy 32. Operatic solo 33. Utilizer 35. Yellowish-brown 39. Ringworm bush 41. Skillet 42. Triangular formation 43. Lustrous fabric 44. Notion 46. Person, place or thing 47. Preserves, as pork 49. Bonehead
51. Lavishly 54. Employment 55. Ancient Biblical kingdom 56. Compensate 63. Economize 64. False god 65. King 66. Not now 67. Make reference to 68. Foreword 69. Class 70. Stair 71. Long periods of geologic time DOWN: 1. Smear 2. A river in Spain 3. Wise men 4. Purposes 5. Took five 6. Dweeb 7. Angelic headgear 8. A Central American sloth 9. Feels 10. Mixed bag 11. Andean animal 12. Spoken for
13. Piddle away 21. Jacob’s brother 25. Street 26. Glasgow gal 27. Neighborhood 28. It makes coins 29. Exile 30. Tiny decorative balls on a string 31. Sea eagle 34. Expectorated 36. Hard punch 37. Decorative case 38. Rave 40. A Freudian stage 45. Auth. unknown 48. Words to a song 50. European peninsula 51. Relaxes 52. Potato state 53. Don’t judge a book by this 54. Minty drink 57. Modify written material 58. Bit of dust 59. Magical symbol 60. Countertenor 61. Cousin of a gull 62. God of love
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JOKES
November 24 - 30, 2010 17
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18 November 24 - 30, 2010 by Pat Moran
Thanksgiving is, flat out, the best holiday of the year. What other national holiday is based on eating an insane amount of food, drinking too much and watching football? It’s the best Thursday of the year. It has its faults, naturally. My mom always used to tell me, “Pat, you can always choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.” That fact is always brought up at Thanksgiving, when the hordes known as the extended family show up for a dose of tryptophan and wild turkey, all while trying their damnedest to make you jealous of the deaf. I like to think that the reason why Thanksgiving has turned into the belt-loosening farce it is today is due to the need to be half-passed out on turkey, stuffing and whiskey in order to face a night full of aunts, uncles and cousins whose names you barely know. It’s almost as if you invited a room room full of strangers and then had to spend hours recounting
“Man on his Throne”
basic information as to how your life going. It’s mind numbing and incapable of escape. And what do you get for your plight? The back story on your cousin’s failed marriage, how your aunt’s corns have been treating her and the overwhelming sadness that has consumed your uncle’s life. Things that you definitely are glad to know about. Regardless, I’m thankful for the mere fact that we have an entire day off to take part in the American dream... The one that is induced by second helpings of mashed potatoes and gravy and the NFL. So, sit back, relax and remember... No matter how terrible your family is, at some point they will have to go home. Just wait it out, nod your head and do your best to get the hell out of the way. Trust me, it’s better that way. Happy Thanksgiving!