Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

VOL. 2 - ISSUE 42

NY Pizza-Payoff Cop Admits Faking His Own Shooting BLITZ News Shorts 3 Hollywood Profile/Movie Review 4 Music: The Greatness that is Wilco 5 Rangers/AirHogs/Vigilantes News 6 Meet “Rookie” Stephen Strasburg 7 Want Six Pack Abs? 8 COVER STORY: 2010 Swimsuit Issue Meet the Models 9-11 BLITZ BABE: Ashley 12 Give Your Friendship the Pink Slip 13 Food Review: Lanny’s – Ft. Worth 14 The Fan Top 10 with Sybil 16 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jennifer Wayne CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield

Andrew J. Hewett

A New York police officer who pleaded guilty to official misconduct for taking three pizzas as payment for covering up a woman’s traffic ticket now admits he faked his own shooting. Erie County District Attorney Frank Sedita says Jason Miller, a former part-time officer in the western New York village of Gowanda, confessed that he hung his bulletproof vest on a tree and shot it two years ago. The admission was part of last month’s plea deal in the pizza case. Miller admitted he arrested a driver for a suspended license in June 2009 and accepted the pizzas to drop the ticket. Miller faces up to a year in jail. He resigned in September.

www.chewednews.com

IN SPANISH, “VASELINA” MEANS GREASE

Vaseline was invented in 1858 by Brooklyn-ite Robert Chesebrough. He recommended using it for dressing cuts and bruises, removing stains from furniture, polishing wood surfaces, restoring leather and preventing rust. Chesebrough also recommended a spoonful each day for good health. He ate his spoonful each morning, and lived to age 96.

NEEDED THE MONEY FOR MORE COCAINE?

Thirty-two-year-old Ernesto Mota suffered brain damage after swallowing a bag of cocaine in a Chicago police station, so it could not be used against him. Later, he sued the police for $7 million in damages because they failed to stop him from doing it.

COVER Cover Photography: Chuck Majors Models Back to Front: Mallory, Marcie, Cherish, Ashly and Sommer STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Kent Gilley, Tim Gravens, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman

HA, HA? NAH, NAH.

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Brad Barton, Dan Daily, Richard Drdul, Andrew Harrer, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors, Robbie Stirrup STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Eric Kendall, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Joe Stumpo, and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Adam Bruster, Cassie Cullins, Andrew J. Hewett, Ed Westerman, Sybil Summers ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Kelly G. Reed CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029

www.blitzweekly.com

Photo Courtesy: Andrew Harrer

Copyright 2010 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www.blitzweekly.com.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it. – Garrison Keillor

Oregon Man Runs 102 Miles Barefoot

Todd Ragsdale enjoyed a peppermint mineral foot soak while relaxing at home last Monday. It was well deserved after running a world-record distance without shoes over the weekend. Last week, between 8 a.m. Saturday and 8 a.m. Sunday, the 41-year-old logged 102 miles barefoot - 413 laps on the South Medford High School track. Ragsdale made his run in the “Relay for Life” fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. The run left Ragsdale’s feet bruised, blistered and swollen, but he said it was well worth it.

WA Business Offers $1,000 For Stolen Doormat

A Washington state business is offering a $1,000 reward to catch a thief who took a doormat worth about $20. KREM-TV reported that the owners of Advanced Metal Technologies in Spokane are angry at the ripoff and want to catch the man who may be looking to break into the metal building business. Surveillance video shows that the thief drove up about 8:30 p.m. last Sunday, looked in the window and then grabbed the doormat.

Obviously, this world’s most difficult stand-up comedy routines had to be those performed by eunuch dwarfs in the court of the Ottoman Sultans (12991922). These small people were demanded, by his Excellence, at any given time during 723 years, to “cheer up” wives enduring pain and fear during their labors of child birth.

HOLLYWOOD PROFILE

BLITZREVIEWS by: Joe Stumpo - www.darthstumpo.com

with Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James and David Spade

by: Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”

Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade and Rob Schneider have been big screen hits and real life buddies for years. They recently teamed up for the first time on screen in the new comedy Grown Ups. The “fab five” star in the hilarious comedy about a group of guys who were best friends growing up as kids and are now getting together on July 4th weekend to meet each others’ families for the first time. Picking up where they left off, they discover that growing older, doesn’t mean growing up. We sat down with the guys, minus Schneider, to talk about the movie and what it was like working together for the first time. This experience must have been like the best summer camp ever for you guys! KJ: The comfort level was just through the roof because when you feel like you’re safe with everyone around you it frees you up to do what you want to do. AS: It frees you up to be quiet too because you know somebody else is going to jump in. CR: And it’s nice to work with people who think you’re funny. Because even when you hire people to work in your movies, you don’t know if they really think you’re funny. It relaxes you to try new stuff when the people around you actually think you’re funny. DS: Everyone there, the four other guys, makes me laugh really hard all the time; so, it’s good to have that back up humor. Were a lot of the scenarios in the movie based on actual events from your childhoods? AS: The rope swing was my real life, and I knew Kevin would do it funnier than me, but that happened to me when I was a kid. I went out on the rope, and I didn’t let go, and I came back. I was with a bunch of crazy kids, and they were all doing it and swinging out; so, I did it. I swung out, but I got nervous, and I didn’t let go. They were all screaming

“let go of the rope!” So, I let go at the last second and landed on the beach and rolled. DS: Adam would ask us to relive things like what was our first concert, what records would our moms not let us listen to. We would go over all these things from our real lives and some of them made it into the movie and some didn’t, but it was a great way to recollect all those things. Who should go see this movie? AS: I thought about who grew up with our movies and wanted to make sure they have a good time, but we’re all a little older now and have kids, and we know they’re going to have sleepovers and their friends are gonna be watching and we don’t want them to learn too many terrible things about us. This movie is the one that I’ve put the most thought into who is going to be watching it like kids, people our age and grandma. I just want everyone to have a good time with it. Grown Ups opens nationwide this week. The film is rated PG-13 for some rude material, language and brief nudity. Check out all this week’s new releases and more of your favorite celebs on my show Reel Critics on Time Warner Cable Video on Demand under the North Texas Programming tab!

Save the Date! PROJECT X MAN GALA Thursday, June 24th at 7 p.m. Fort Worth Event Center

Former Dallas Cowboy Offensive Lineman, three-time Super Bowl Champion and six time Pro-Bowler Nate Newton will serve as the Keynote Speaker for the Project X Man Gala. The event is to kick off the Project X Man initiative started by organization founder Keenan Williams. The mission of Project X Man is to help ex-offenders who are preparing to re-enter society become productive, proactive and transformed citizens.

Williams himself spent several years incarcerated in the Texas prison system. While in prison, he experienced a true transformation of his mind and spirit. He developed a very disciplined way of life and way of thinking with the intention of emerging from prison as a man destined for success. Tickets are $35 and include a BBQ dinner. For more information, call 817-3033700 or log onto www.projectxman.org.

Splice

“What’s the worst that could happen?” That line Elsa Kast (Sarah Polley) says isn’t uttered until the end, but the comment fits the overall plot of Splice, in particular when the subject involves tampering with science. Polley and Adrien Brody play two young scientists responsible for developing a genetic protein mixing an animal gene with several other species in hopes of finding cures for diseases such as cancer and diabetes. That’s all fine and dandy provided they don’t add human DNA to the experiment. If the two scientists had decided to follow proper procedure there would be no reason for a film called “Splice,” about a scientific experiment gone wrong. The movie would likely be over within minutes instead of under two hours. The scientists’ end result is a creature Elsa names Dren, (Delphine Chaneac) who has got the body, in terms of torso and facial features, of a female. The rest of her is a combination of different animal species as she sprouts double pairs of wings, four-fingered hands and three-toed hooves. Though her voice is mostly compiled of animal noises, she communicates putting words together using scrabble letters. Yet, like a pet dog, she still understands when she’s been bad and can even exhibit a nice smile full of teeth as she chomps down on a bunny rabbit. Dren could well be a direct descendant

of Sil, the female reptile human/alien Natasha Henstridge played in Species (1995). Unlike Species, however, Splice is not your standard “humans have trouble chasing down the experiment gone wrong” monster movie as the thing runs amok throughout society. The word that best describes Spice is “unpredictable,” which not only applies to what happens when ego-driven scientists tamper with nature but to the film, which ends on an unexpectedly surprising high note. Whether the film becomes a miniindependent box office summer sleeper hit like 28 Days Later (2002), or last summer’s surprise horror movie, Drag Me to Hell and the sci-fi/alien/apartheid tragedy, District 9, still remains to be seen. The film ranked at number 8 opening weekend grossing over $7 million, which isn’t bad for an independent movie budgeted at $26 million and executive produced by Guillermo del Toro (Hellboy – 2004). If the film is successful, I actually hope there is not a sequel, thus ruining an enjoyably original. I can only hope the filmmakers don’t take Elsa Kast’s final line, “What’s the worst that could happen?” as a means to entertain the notion of doing a less than satisfactory, and most likely, completely unnecessary follow-up all for the purpose of making an extra buck.

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Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

2. Theologians

Wilco - A Ghost is Born

3. Jesus, Etc

Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

4. One Wing

Wilco - self-titled

5. Casino Queen

Wilco - A.M.

6. A Shot In The Arm

Wilco - Summerteeth

7. Hate It Here

Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

8. I Must Be High

Wilco - A.M.

9. Hummingbird

Wilco - A Ghost Is Born

10. Misunderstood Wilco - Being There

Stephan Pyles Restaurant - Dallas Every Wednesday night throughout the summer you can enjoy Samar Under the Stars, a late night happy hour including $2 off all wines by the glass and specialty cocktails and $5 sangria. Definitely a cheap way to try out this swanky downtown spot.

Thur 6/17 Nothin’ But Cheddar

Scardello Artisan Cheese - Dallas Cheddar. What is it? How is it made? Get answers to all of these vexing questions...plus these great cheeses will be paired with craft beers from around the world. $25 per person. RSVP at 214219-1300.

Fri 6/18 Park at the Park

Wed 6/16 Samar Under the Stars

MUSIC: Ed’s Wilco Mix 1. Impossible Germany

Lone Star Park - Grand Prarie The Party at the Park series features $1 select beers and live bands each Friday night in the Courtyard of Champions from 7 to 10 p.m. Admission is $5. • 6/18 - Definitely Maybe • 6/25 - Haywire • 7/9 - Hearsay

story & pics by: Ed Westerman

Sat 6/19 Ian Moore, Fate Lions and Deadman

www.edwesterman.com

Granada Theater - Dallas You might remember Moore as a teenage guitar prodigy in the early ‘90s, wowing the Austin crowd. Come see how the now seasoned artist has grown.

Sun 6/20 Father’s Day Wine and Meat Pairing

Su Vino - Main Street, Grapevine The local winery will be pairing an assortment of grilled meats with three of their tastiest red wines. Plus, there is a great cigar shop right around the corner. $15 for 21 and over. $8 for under 21.

Mon 6/21 Mexico 200

never know. You will never find me too harsh a critic of any artist, or genre (except maybe latter-day Nashville country—but that’s not the issue). If an artist tries another approach in attempt to get a shot in the arm, I might not listen, but most likely won’t dis, it’s just that simple. Genuine fans of an artist give the breathing room to put out different material without fear of abandonment. Tweedy is the poster child for the change-up, and pseudofans just can’t stand it. True fans shake it off and roll with it in a bull black Nova. The Wilco line-up has been consistent since 2004: Jeff Tweedy (kingpin), Glenn Kotche (heavy metal drummer), Nels Cline (lead guitar), John Stirratt (bass/vocals/real Wilco OG), Pat Sansone (dude plays everything and sings, too) and Mikael Jorgensen (keys). If you care to learn more, Wilco has a strange genealogy–personnel issues, ego-clashes, plus a “David and Goliath” war on war style feud with Reprise (Time Warner) leading up to the release of YHF, and well-documented in the film I am Trying to Break Your Heart. Look into it. Not sure where they can go stylistically from here…Gospel? Hip-Hop? I must be high-I understand Deadheads for the first time: I have seen Wilco nine times in the past two years. The pics here are from The Orpheum Theatre show in Boston last April. If the rest of the shows for this year weren’t pretty much in Europe, woulda made reservations for those, too…wishful thinking.

Dallas Museum of Art Mexico 200 is a Museum-wide celebration of the bicentennial of Mexico’s Independence. The DMA will present two special exhibitions of modern and contemporary Mexican art: Josa Guadalupe Posada and complementing this exhibition will be a special installation of contemporary Mexican art titled “Tierra y Gente: Modern Mexican Works on Paper.”

Tue 6/22 Scale the Summit

Love ‘em, hate ‘em, don’t get ‘em….either way, Jeff Tweedy and the boys in Wilco have compiled a body of work as diverse as a catalogue can get in a 16-year span. Pop gems, alt-country flavor, flaky b-sides, indulgent noise, cacophonous self-flagellation, detached sentimentality, indie-rock fillers, heartbreaking ballads–convenient descriptions for sophomoric “critics” who pigeonhole an artists’ work to fill space. Most make benchmark comparisons to the far, far away era of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002), or point out that the newest Wilco offering just goes on and on and on, or it fails to meet the level of the late greats. Or my favorite: purists look at last year’s Wilco (The Album) as “too commercial.” Wilco, via Chicago, finally happens to get some airplay for about ten seconds with You & I (featuring Feist), and longtime fans drop like flies in the sky blue sky. You don’t have to like it all, but don’t beat a brother down because he’s not as avant-garde or even the old theologian you need him to be. From the passenger side, I like what Jeff Tweedy has done over the years precisely because each album is so different, and that the common thread is the differences. Make sense? Hell, deeper down, Tweedy has probably done himself a disservice by giving up the handshake drugs, going to rehab, losing some angst, and appearing to loosen up and have some fun on-stage, instead of the redeyed and blue, misunderstood, and grizzled Dylan-Doppelganger he had become. You

Lola’s Fort Worth The Los Angeles-founded band was born in late 2004 with the objective to create something different, a type of instrumental music that could be widely accessible while not abandoning a technical and melodic foundation. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com

Photo Courtesy: Matt Pearce

A Hot Streak A-Brewin’ On Sunday, the first place Rangers beat the Brewers 7-2. They have now won four series in a row. Colby Lewis was the star of the day and not just on the mound. They were playing at a National League park so the pitcher had to bat. He became the first Ranger pitcher ever to get two hits and two RBI’s in the same game. It was also the first hit for a Ranger pitcher in two years. On the mound, he had 10 strikeouts, only gave up three hits and became the first pitcher on the team with six wins this year. Friday night, Rich Harden was the pitcher in the only game the Rangers lost in the series. He gave up four home runs and only lasted six innings. On Saturday, many Rangers fans got the news they were waiting for. Harden was placed on the DL with a gluteal strain. Yes, a pain in the Butt. It was never reported when and if

by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

the injury ever occurred. I think his days as a Ranger are numbered. When Derek Holland returns from the DL, I think the Rangers will be forced to make a huge decision. Holland is the future while grossly overpaid Harden has only one quality start this year. I think they need to put him on waivers and move on. Michael Young will become the Rangers alltime hit leader sometime this week when he passes Pudge Rodriguez. He has been a Ranger his entire career. It would be nice if he could set the record in Arlington, but that’s not going to happen because the next six games are on the road. The Rangers are hoping Nelson Cruz will return after the current road trip. Holland has started throwing but won’t return until the end of the month at the earliest. This week the Rangers will be in Florida for three games and then to Houston for another three.

VIGILANTES:News

by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

Photo Courtesy: Joe Lorenzini

Will Pettis Plays First Game as a Vigilante The Dallas Vigilantes hosted the first place Tulsa Talons on Friday night. Vigilantes fans got what they wanted before the game even started! N e w l y signed and former Dallas Desperado, Will Pettis, was in uniform and ready to play. Coach James Fullers said, “he is not at full speed, maybe seventy five percent.” They also got some much needed help on the defensive line by signing former Dallas Cowboy John Nix. Pettis nearly got an interception on the opening drive. Jason Harmon intercepted the ball in the endzone to get a rare Dallas stop. Josh White ran it in for Dallas on their first possession. Kenny Henderson, who seems to make big plays every week, scored on an 18-yard reception to put Dallas on top, 14-7. The first quarter ended on a postive note as Duke Pettijohn got a sack, which was only

the eighth one for the Dallas defense this season. Matt Fields, who has been solid as of late, scored on a 21-yard reception for Dallas. Collin Drafts threaded the needle to hit Henderson on a 24-yard touchdown pass to put Dallas up 28-14. Dallas let Tulsa back in it at the end of the half when Tulsa scored a touchdown with 9 seconds left to cut the lead to 31-21 at half. Dallas seemed to get the break they needed when a Mark Lewis kick off bounced off the crossbar and was recovered in the endzone by Larry Brackins. Dallas was up 44-28 at that point, but it went downhill after that. Henderson was the only bright spot for the rest of the game. He returned a kickoff 56 yards for his third touchdown of the game. Drafts threw four interceptions and Dallas lost 62-51. After the game, the six-game losing streak seemed to be taking it’s toll on the Dallas players. “You can handle one or two, but when it comes to eight or nine that really gets to you,” Henderson said in reference to the losses. Coach Fuller said, “mistakes have been the thing that holds us back. Can’t make mistakes.” Next Saturday, the Vigilantes travel to take on the Alabama Vipers in hopes of putting the losing streak behind them.

AIRHOGS:News

by: Cassie R. Cullins AirHogs Media

Porter and AirHogs are on Top Summer is heating up and so are the Grand Prairie AirHogs who are holding steady in first place over the second place ShreveportBossier Captains (and third place Fort Worth Cats). Second in the league in overall batting (team average of .313.), the ‘Hogs are led by the big bat of Greg Porter, who is currently batting .395 and leads the league in hits (47). This past week, the team took on their local rivals and won one of three against the Cats. They are currently on a seven game home stand. They lost the weekend series against the Pensacola Pelicans by losing two of three. They are set for a four game series with the Lincoln Saltdogs before going on the road to take on the Captains. The AirHogs start off next week against the El Paso Diablos at home. On a positive note, the MLB Draft week hit home this past week with the acquisition of Opening Day LHP James Paxton by the

Seattle Mariners in the 4th round. There were a number of MLB scouts in attendance for his Opening Day performance. To combat the loss, Grand Prairie added new arm Rod Scurry (Jr.), son of former Major Leaguer Rod Scurry. A couple of promotional notes of interest as you plan for stopping by QuikTrip Park. The first being this Thursday’s $1 Beer Night. If you dress up like one of Jersey Shore’s finest complete with the hair, spray-tan and what not, you’ll get in for only $3.00 Bring a date and it’s good times for all. Be sure to enter the contest for great prizes. The fine folks over at Carter Blood are sponsoring a pregame blood drive at the ballpark on Tuesday the 22nd. Fans that donate blood get in free. For a $3.00 ticket to the game dress up like a Vampire or a Werewolf. Yes, the Twighlight saga is going “Hogwild”!

Photo Courtesy: Brad Barton

RANGERS:News

Don’t Go There So here are the two biggest sports stories of last weekend that had nothing to do with the World Cup. First story: Los Angeles Kings assistant coach Mark Hardy has resigned while facing a fourth-degree charge of felony sexual abuse. Hardy was arrested last month in Washington, D.C., after a woman said he fondled her in a hotel room. Second story: Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young is the prime suspect in a Dallas strip club assualt. Now, I know you could be thinking that crap like this happens everyday and we only hear about these two cases because these two people are famous. I totally agree. You could also be thinking that these two people might very well be innocent and they were wrongfully blamed in an attempt to get money. I could also agree with you there. Regardless, these people were no doubt in places they shouldn’t have been. If they would be mindful of where they take their rich and famous asses, they wouldn’t get into hot water. I think I have more of an opinion in Vince Young’s case because I live in the Dallas area and know the place he was supposedly caught assualting someone. It’s called Club Onyx. In my days of reviewing nightclubs, I had seen the name on some club listings and decided to check out the website. I quickly learned that this was not a night club, it was a strip club and not a classy strip club like the Men’s Club. In fact, at the time, the club’s web page featured both male and female strippers in low resolution skeazy-looking photos. Now the website is much more tasteful

by: Jennifer Wayne “Foxie and Fired Up”

and women only, but I have a feeling from the location and the reputation, the patronage has not changed. So I have to wonder, Vince, with all of your money and clout, why did you go to some ghetto strip club? Why wouldn’t you go to the Men’s Club or the Lodge where they seem to specialize in taking care of VIPs? And to Mr. Hardy: Don’t take a girl you barely know behind closed doors. She could say anything happened in there and I hate to say this because I am a lady, but I am sure the judge is going to take the girl’s side. It’s seems with money and fame comes instant stupidity these days. And it’s not just guys. Let’s take our dear friend, Lindsey Lohan. She has a SCRAM ankle bracelet on, yet she cannot keep herself from going to parties. People! There is more to life than booze and boobs! Take your money and buy a private island or something! by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

Welcome to the Big Leagues, Rookie Stephen Strasburg made his major league debut on June 8th for the Washington Nationals. The number one pick in the 2009 Major League Baseball draft was spectacular. He had 14 strikeouts in seven innings with no walks--the third highest strikeout total by a pitcher in their major league debut. No telling how many guys that covers in the 135-year history of the league. He had one pitch clocked at 100 mph, hit 99 mph seventeen times, and 98 mph fourteen times. He is the real deal. He is only twenty-one years old and in his first game already holds the Nationals’ all-time franchise record for strikeouts in a game. He received the traditional shaving cream pie to the face three times while doing interviews after the game. He also was donned with the Elvis wig. It is a It is a Nationals’ tradition that the wig has

to be worn by the Player of the Game who is chosen by his teammates. Former Rangers and current Nationals’ catcher Pudge Rodriguez likes what he saw. “I’ve been catching a lot of guys but this kid is unbelievable.” He was one of the most talked about and hyped up draft picks in the history of baseball. He signed a record contract for $15.1 million, breaking the previous record set by Mark Prior for $10.5 million. The game against Pittsburgh was on ESPN. How often do you see the Nationals’ on national TV? It was a standing-room-only crowd in Washington. Yes, in Washington. He may be the hottest thing in baseball now and that’s only after one game. His last start was against the Indians. He pitched 5.1 innings for the win. The Indians reported they had sold an extra 3,300 tickets within

twenty four hours since his debut. He will no doubt help sell a lot of tickets this year. I wish the Rangers played him. I would love to see him pitch. The day before his debut this year’s MLB Draft began. Washington had the number one pick again and drafted another phenomenon. They selected Bryce Harper who already has been anointed “Baseball’s Chosen One” by Sports Illustrated. In a high school home-run derby at Tropicana Field (home of the Tampa Bay Rays), he hit the longest home run ever at the park measuring 502 feet. He is only 17, but played college ball this year. In 66 games this year, he hit 31 home runs, 98 RBI, and his batting average was .443. He is a catcher who has a 96 mph fastball. It’s safe to say the future is bright in Washington, at least in baseball.

FIFA World Cup: Slovenia vs U.S. Fri. June 18 – 9AM – Ellis Park – ESPN You know you are going to call in sick to catch this one. While boozing it up at the local bar make sure to wear red, white and blue! Slovenia got lucky with their win and sit atop of Group C. The U.S. tied England and need this win in a bad way.

MLB: Texas vs Houston Fri. June 18 – 7:05PM Minute Maid Park – TXA-21 The Rangers are sitting in first in the AL West and Houston is near the bottom of the NL Central. This is a great opportunity for YOUR Texas Rangers to pad their lead. Rangers SP Scott Feldman will take the mound. Statewide bragging rights are at stake.

MLB: LA Dodgers vs Boston Sun. June 20 – 7PM – Fenway Park – ESPN A great way to wrap up Father’s Day as you and the “old man” have a cold one and watch Manny take on his former team. The Red Sox have turned things around and are back in the hunt. The Dodgers send out Japanese pitcher Hiroki Kuroda to duel with Clay Buchholz.

CWS: TCU vs Florida State Sat. June 19 – 1PM – Rosenblatt Stadium – ESPN The Horned Frogs beat Texas in three games to make it to their first ever CWS. SP Matt Purke should give the Horned Frogs the confidence they need to win game 1. Florida State has been here before. It’s double elimination. Yes both teams will use aluminum bats!

Crossword Solution

8 by: Adam Bruster â&#x20AC;&#x153;Health Guruâ&#x20AC;?

Want Six Pack Abs? Stop Wasting Time with Sit-ups and Crunches

The first step is to eat healthy foods, avoid fried foods, sugary drinks, and excess alcohol consumption. Following the common recommendation of 5-6 small meals a day helps to keep the metabolism charged up and burning fat. The worst thing you can do is skip breakfast, starve yourself, and only eat twice a day. This significantly slows down your metabolism, and puts your body into starvation mode, where your body wants to hold onto fat to survive. As a result, muscle ends up being burned for energy. In fact, this is the type of diet that Sumo wrestlers follow to preserve body fat. Resistance training is essential because it can elevate your metabolism (fat burning) for up to 36 hours after the workout, whereas cardiovascular activity may only keep the metabolism revved up for 1-2 hours, depending on intensity. Resistance training also

strengthens the bones, muscles, tendons, and ligaments, and is critical for building muscle and a firm body. Cardiovascular activity is important for overall heart health, aerobic endurance, and increasing the bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ability to use fat for energy during exercise. Try using different modes of cardiovascular activities to avoid getting burned out with the same routine. Mix in walking, running, biking, elliptical glider, stair stepper, rowing, or any outdoor activities. Make it as fun and enjoyable as possible. Many people seem to have one or two of these components down, but are lacking in the third component, and that is keeping them from their noticeable reduction in body fat, as well as the midsection they desire. I know several individuals who followed a

strict nutrition plan and walked or jogged daily, but it took adding weight training to the routine to finally firm up and get the results they had been seeking. Remember, we are all built with different frames and genetics from day one, and it is more difficult for some than others to reach their physical goals. All we can do is focus on a healthy lifestyle that promotes proper nutrition and exercise, and see where it takes us. Regardless of the image in the mirror, our health, longevity, and quality of life will improve as a result of hard work and dedication. * Consult physician before beginning an exercise program

Photo Courtesy: Richard Drdul & Robbie Stirrup

Everyone wants to have a flat, six pack stomach, but the answer is NOT spending your workout time on the ground doing sit-ups and crunches. The abs are worked in almost every single exercise we do. The key to a flat midsection is having a low body fat percentage. Everyone has a six pack, but it is not always visible because it is hidden by fat. The abs are just like any other muscle group, and when body fat is reduced, they can be seen. So what can we do to get that great midsection? The answer is fairly simple with 3 main components: proper nutrition, resistance training, and cardiovascular exercise.

Photo Credit: Chuck Majors

“I’m studying to be a nurse.”

Photo Credit: Chuck Majors

“My favorite car is the new Mustang GT!”

Photo Credit: Darryl Briggs

The Big Picture: “I’ve been on TV. I was in the Hooters Swimsuit contest when it was televised.”

More Than Meets The Eye: “I play football for the Lingerie Football League!”

Photo Credit: Darryl Br

“I’m proud myself for alwa doing wel schoo

Photo Credit: Darryl Briggs

Celebrity Crush: “I have this huge crush on Denzel Washington.”

Photo Credit: Chuck Majors

“I love to read romance novels… the really trashy kind.”

Photo Credit: Chuck Majors

Photo Credit: Darryl Briggs

“I’m taking business courses in college. I’d like to run my own company.”

Hoop Dream: “I’m becoming a big fan of the Thunder!”

riggs

d of ays ll in ol.”

Photo Credit: Chuck Majors

Favorite Thing About Summer: “No school!”

Photo Credit: Chuck Majors

A Little Secret: My nickname is Booda.

Photo Credit: Chuck Majors

Guilty Pleasure: “One word sums it up – Chocolate!”

by: Pat Moran “Man on his Throne” - pmoran@gmail.com

Bus-Ted

Today I took the bus for the first time in over four years. The transmission in my car is cracked and it finally kicked the bucket. To be honest, I saw it coming but didn’t really want to shell out a couple grand to fix it or buy another car. Sucks, but oh well, right? Have to show up at work in the morning regardless of what sh!tty thing happened to my piece of sh!t car. Sitting in the back of the crowded bus, sweating from a mix of the heat, the diesel and the absolutely dank smelling mass of people, I realized that public transportation is actually a metaphor for what is wrong with our country: People need to move. We need to be active. We don’t all work on farms anymore, we have to commute. Those who don’t drive have to take an alternate route. That’s where the bus comes in. A way for everyone to get where they need to go? Perfect. Doesn’t cost very much? Awesome. Scheduled throughout the day so that you can best fit it into your schedule? I like it. Anybody, regardless of race, creed, gender or age can get on board? Sounds like the whole “bring us your hungry, weary masses” thing. Kick ass!

But here’s where the crap breaks down. It’s the foulest, most disgusting place on the planet. Every inch of the bus smells like someone just recently shat on the floor. Because most people who have jobs also have cars, the bus becomes a place that is filled by a specific type of person – one not exactly prone to brilliance or beauty. It’s like a gathering of insane wackos who all showed up at the wrong party. It’s a great idea, the bus. In theory, it should be a great institution. But after spending an hour surrounded by an old homeless dude who smelled like a clogged toilet, a young couple who screamed at each other so loud that I couldn’t even make out the words, a guy who looked like a serial killer playing with his switch blade and a group of teenagers hassling an old lady...it lead me to one thought:

5 Signs That You Need to Give Your Friendship the Pink Slip by: Jesse Whitman “A Woman’s Perspective”

The end of a friendship can be just as painful and confusing as a romantic breakup, but sometimes it is for the best, especially as we get older and our lives are more complicated and hectic. When I was younger, I would spend time with just about anybody, but as the years go by, I’ve found myself becoming more selective. Life is just too short to be spent with someone who’s draining you. But it’s not easy walking away. Here are five signs that it is time to do just that: 1.

F- it... I’m walking.

4. 5.

It’s overly critical - Does your friend constantly criticize you? And I’m not talking about little things, like your collection of pastel-colored polo shirts, but important lifestyle choices. You don’t need another disapproving parent since you probably already have one; and if you don’t, you certainly don’t need the disapproving one you never had. Now tough love could be just the thing you need to hear, but if it’s a constant thing, please beware. This friendship could really bring you down. It’s dishonest - I called up a friend I hadn’t talked to in awhile and she pretended it was the wrong number, complete with her very bad Chinese accent she reserves for telemarketers. I even told her that I knew it was her, that the jig was up, I know her little phone tricks, but she kept doing it. It really hurt that I had been demoted to the status of a random and annoying telemarketer, but it really felt good in the long run to walk away and not look back. If your friend lies to you and makes up excuses not to see you, sleeps with your girlfriend or gossips about your personal business, it’s definitely time to move on. Life is difficult enough. You need friends you can trust. It’s one-sided - In the past few months has it always been you making the phone calls, emails, but it’s not reciprocated? Do you always pick up the tab when you do hang out? Your friend may really be too busy to reach out to you, so you might want to give them a bit of a grace period, but if they don’t return your messages after a few months, it’s time to give them their walking papers. Life is better without them - If you can honestly say that you don’t miss the friendship, it’s definitely time to move on. This is a red signal that you weren’t getting much out of the relationship. You don’t relate - As we get older we change, sometimes so much that we are not the same person anymore. Some friendships can evolve as people change, but some cannot. If your friend seems distant, hard to talk to, and not at all relatable, it’s a sign that you need to seriously re-evaluate your friendship. There is always a chance that you can reconnect, but if it’s not working it’s time to move on. Simply back away and take a break or have an honest but kind conversation.

by: Richard S. Pollak “The Foxie Foodie”

Lanny’s

3405 W 7th Street • Fort Worth (817) 850-9996 • www.lannyskitchen.com

Lanny’s Alta Cocina Mexicana Restaurant has to be one of the most chef-driven restaurants in the entire Metroplex. From the famed Joe T. Garcia Restaurant Family of Ft. Worth, Chef/Owner Lanny P. Lancarte III is a professionally-trained graduate of the Culinary Institute of America. Instead of even thinking of trying to change anything that his great grandfather created at Joe T.’s, he waited 3 years after graduation, working under Joe. T’s roof to open Lanny’s in 2005. For my visit, Lanny’s had a perfect 5-course tasting menu to demonstrate both his family- and culinary school-trained style. Santiago, the masterful GM, captains the front of the house. Guests are greeted upon seating with a wonderful Amuse Bouclé of Tomato Bisque with crab. Although, we were unable to translate this perfect purée with fresh crab meat into the Spanish word for “Amuse Bouclé,” it didn’t matter when the freshly-baked rich homemade bread arrived just in time to clean the last drops. The first two tasting courses came from the Tapas part of the menu, featuring an explosion of textures and tastes, as a Lobster Cocktail with blood orange and beets was served with in-house baked Pepita Lavish followed, in contrast, by the Seared Hudson Valley Foie Gras and Pain Perdu (a French inspired use of leftover bread) with apple marmalade. Seems like everyone who graduates from the C.I.A in Hyde Park, New York, comes away with their very own special recipe for duck livers and Lanny’s is uniquely Mexicana. The Squash Blossom Soup was superb and I downed four hand-rolled hot gems of bread along with the Heirloom Tomato Gazpacho. While I was there, the weekly-changing Tapas menu featured Kobe Beef Carpaccio with baby arugula with Chile De Arbol salsa and a warm Salmon Salad of Bibb lettuce and Mexican-inspired papaya vinagarette. I sipped on their signature Jamaican Rambutan Mojito, which was featured in Indulge Magazine, during dinner as I gazed out onto the heavily shrub-enclosed secluded front patio, another great place to dine at Lanny’s. I must come back to try Lanny’s salad of seared Ahi Tuna in a Jamaican vinegarette with cucumber salsa and sliced avocado and his other signature soup made from Poblano and Asparagus. There wasn’t any simplicity to the two main courses, tempting as it was to think of Joe T.’s simple Tacos and Enchiladas. While discussing my visit to Lanny’s with some Fort Worth foodie friends, I was told the well kept secret that you can actually order Mexican specialties such as Tamales, Flautas and Chile Rellenos at Joe T.’s besides their incredible world renowned Tacos, Enchiladas and Fajitas. My main tastings were the Wild Columbia River Salmon on top of a wilted baby spinach hinted with a jalapeño Beure Blance and the Rack of Lamb with roasted fingerlings and wild mushrooms. Both were great demonstrations of a classically-trained chef with hints of Mexicana tradition. I watched as Lanny’s preparation of Prime Carne Asada, Sea Bass and Agave Nectar Glazed Duck breasts were pleasing other diners throughout the Ft.Worth Culinary Mecca. Ending such a wonderful dining delight, for desert, a special terrine of Chocolate Truffle Ice Cream with praline hazelnut brittle and strawberries again highlighted culinary training instead of thoughts of the concept of flan. It’s definitely one of those “I am more than willing to drive to Ft. Worth to experience the dining” delights. I only wish that Lanny and the entire Joe T.’s family settled in North Dallas, so that they would be closer!

By: Sybil Summers

sybilsummers.com

Top 10 Best Comic Book Movies 10. Tank Girl - I know it’s totally dorky and Lori Petty is annoying, but I loved how they incorporated the cartoon flashbacks throughout the movie. 9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Who would win in a slashfight between Logan and Edward Scissorhands? 8. Batman Forever You really can’t go wrong with Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones and Nicole Kidman...but Val Kilmer sure does try! 7. Constantine - I’m not usually a Keanu Reeves fan, but the special effects won me over. 6. The Punisher - Remember the scene with the pliers and piercings? ‘Nuff said. 5. Spiderman - Spidey 3 was good too, but Spidey 2 was completely forgettable. Well, they can’t all be the firstborn. 4. Batman - Why can’t Tim Burton direct ‘em all? 3. X-Men - Halle Berry in a catsuit and Rebecca Romijn wearing nothing but body paint? Count me in. 2. Iron Man - In a word: Brilliant. 1. The Crow - Badass soundtrack + Brandon Lee’s death caught on camera and included in movie = Instant Cult Classic

JOKES

HORRORSCOPES

FUNNIES

Q: Why shouldn’t blondes have coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: What do woodpeckers and lawyers have in common? A: Long bills. Q: How do you get your dishwasher to work? A: Slap her! Polish Sausage A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?” The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?” The clerk says, “Well, no.” With deep, self-righteous indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I asked for Polish sausage?” The clerk replies, “Because this is Home Depot.”

ACROSS: 1. Rope fiber 6. Survey 10. A type of hair style 14. Poplar tree 15. Operatic solo 16. 4th sign of the zodiac 17. Encounters 18. Close 19. A hollow in a cliff 20. Informative 22. Regrets 23. N N N N 24. Pin 26. Psychiatrist (slang) 30. Sextuplet 32. Money lent 33. Views 35. Difficulty 39. Not dead 41. Southern constellation 42. Performance platform 43. TV, radio, etc. 44. The immaterial part of a person 46. Sword 47. The color of most grass 49. Really or in truth 51. An edible nut

54. Floral necklace 55. A swinging barrier to a room 56. Incapable of being touched or seen 63. Largest continent 64. Honey insects 65. Nonsense 66. Sassy 67. Focusing glass 68. Strong string 69. Tall woody plant 70. Cocoyam 71. Preserves, as pork DOWN: 1. Identical 2. Wild goat 3. Leak slowly 4. Countertenor 5. Let up 6. Trousers 7. Chocolate cookie 8. Teller of untruths 9. Voice box 10. Commissioned 11. Hoax 12. “Bolero” composer 13. Overweight

21. Writing fluids 25. Cobs of corn 26. Shut a door forcefully 27. Puncture 28. Incursion 29. Enliven 30. Long-necked bird 31. Jacob’s brother 34. Lack of difficulty 36. Be slack-jawed 37. Arch type 38. Marsh plant 40. Acquire deservedly 45. Security for a debt 48. Safe to eat 50. Evenings 51. Customize 52. Not a winner 53. Wavelike design 54. Lariat 57. Require 58. Be inclined 59. Corn Belt state 60. Be in an agitated emotional state 61. Gave temporarily 62. Visual organs