DIAMOND TALK
Our 7th Annual Swimsuit Issue!
STYLE
Become an Epic BEACH BALLER PIZZA Steven Doyle Delivers
Prince Fielder & Yovani Gallardo MAKE IT HAPPEN RIGHT-WING ROCKERS Getting Patriotic WTF! Marilyn Manson Is in This Issue?
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SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
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JULY 2015
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Blitz
INTELLIGENCE
5 Reunited Prince Fielder and Yovani Gallardo are back together as teammates for the Texas Rangers. 6 The Cost of Keeping Crime Down If crime is on the rise, then what’s the price to keep it down? 8 Pizza When you want the best, turn to Steven Doyle.
Publisher and Editor Staff Photographers Kelly G. Reed John Breen, Dominic Ceraldi, Jarrod Fresquez, Michael Kolch, Features Director Rick Leal, Sandy McAnally Amber LaFrance Staff Writers Pop Culture Editor Peter Gerstenzang, Keysha Hogan, Ethan Harmon Martin Iheke, Frank LaCosta, Lance LeVan, Chris Sick Sports Editor Contributing Lance Rinker Photographers/Artists Copy Chief Rafael Chan, Jiro Schneider, Mark Miller David Shankbone Contributing Writers Creative Director Steven Doyle, Andrew J. Hewett, Jette Stephens Meredith Rimmer, Alan Sculley Photo Editor Cover Model Darryl Briggs Jamilee
SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
10 Marilyn Manson Interview Alan Sculley takes on The Pale Emperor to learn about him and his latest album. CONTACT US PHONE: 214-529-7370 • FAX: 972-960-8618 EMAIL: info@blitzweekly.com
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14 Red Hot & Blue Our 7th Annual Swimsuit section begins here. 22 Wrestling You watched it as a kid. Now you’re an adult and you should keep watching it.
Jarrod Fresquez Model: Lauren Biran Make-Up: Makeup Junkies, INC. - Jai Okoli Hair: Shane Patrick Smith
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Wondering why the Texas Rangers have been so surprising thus far in 2015? Improved health from some key offensive players certainly is one major reason. But another just might be the pairing of two long-time friends who learned all about winning in the most unlikely of places – Milwaukee. Yes, designated hitter-first baseman Prince Fielder and Opening Day starting pitcher Yovani Gallardo were key components in the Brewers making the playoffs in 2008 and 2011 after missing them since 1982. Plus their wives and children were close during their five years in Brew City. “That’s not why we traded for him but it’s a bonus,” said Texas general manager Jon Daniels before a late March exhibition game in Surprise, Ariz. Daniels conferred with Fielder and Mike Maddux, Gallardo’s first pitching coach before coming to Texas, in advance of completing the Jan. 19 deal. “It just helps to know what to expect personally off the field and in the clubhouse,” Daniels said. “We’re all creatures of habit and a function of the relationships we have, and if you can have a familiar face you will be more comfortable.” It also didn’t hurt that Mexico native Gallardo was traded to his adoptive home town after growing up in Fort Worth. That helped calm the initial surprise of the transaction.
JULY 2015
“It was my first time getting traded after spending the past 10 years since I got drafted with Milwaukee,” Gallardo said. “After that I was excited at the opportunity to play at home and just play before family and friends and having Prince back at first base after spending that time with him in Milwaukee and a short period of time with Maddux. “His wife (Chanel) and my wife (Patricia) were pretty close friends and even after he signed with Detroit they stayed in contact. Our kids are right around the same age. They grew up together especially the boys (Yovani Jr. and Jaden and Haven Fielder). They grew up together so they were pretty excited for sure. I brought them in the clubhouse a couple of times here and let them run around like they did in Milwaukee and it was pretty fun. You could tell they were pretty excited to be on the same team and in the same clubhouse.” Perhaps nobody was happier to learn of the reunion than Fielder. “Not only is he a great player, he’s a great friend coming over here,” Fielder said. “I was real excited about it. We all kind of grew up together so it’s a great feeling having him back on the same team.” Gallardo, 29, graduated from Fort Worth Trimble Technical High School after which he was drafted by the Brewers in the second round of the 2004 draft, the 46th overall pick. He made his Major League debut on June 18, 2007, two years after
Fielder, 31, a California native and the seventh overall pick of the 2002 draft out of high school in Melbourne, Fla. After missing most of the 2008 season with injuries, Gallardo started one game of the 2008 Wild Card round against the Philadelphia Phillies. The Brewers lost in four games with Fielder hitting the Brewers’ only home run. Gallardo pitched in three games during the 2011 post-season after the Brewers won the National League Central. They beat the Arizona Diamondbacks in the first round before losing to the St. Louis Cardinals in six games in the National League Championship Series. Had they beaten the Cardinals, they would have faced the Rangers in the World Series. The friends split up after those playoffs when Fielder signed a big contract with the Detroit Tigers where he played for two seasons before being traded to the Rangers for Ian Kinsler. After a 2014 season cut short by neck surgery, Fielder returned to spring training upbeat and looking like his old self. “I’m really enjoying the game again,” he said. “You don’t realize how much you do enjoy it because after a while you try not to but you do take for granted your health. I had never been hurt. I played every day. I loved the game but I kind of took it for granted. I played first base and figured what could happen.
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“But now that the game’s been taken away from me for a little while, I realized now how much I love it. I loved it before but it’s a new spark. When something is taken away, and you finally get it back, you want to make sure you never take it for granted again.” That explains why (as of press time) Fielder is among the top American League hitters with a .340 average and hits with 90, on-base percentage of .408, runs batted in with 47, and a combined on-base/slugging percentage of .929. Gallardo has been steady so far in 2015 with a 6-6 record and 2.98 earned run average in 15 starts. His numbers have been exactly what Fielder predicted. “He’s a gamer. He’s going to go out there and pitch a lot of innings,” Fielder said. “He’s going to give you strong outings. He’s not going to be afraid. He’s going to give you what he’s got and that’s all you can ask for.” That’s what happens when you get a second chance to compete with someone you know well and in a place you call home. “To get the opportunity to play for the team I grew up watching it’s pretty exciting,” Gallardo said. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM
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The Cost of Keeping
BY CHRIS SICK – @CHRISSICK
Down
If you haven’t been paying much attention, it’s been a bloody start to the summer. Murders and shootings are up in numerous cities throughout the country, and the numbers are often shocking. Writing in the Wall Street Journal, Heather MacDonald, rattles off shocking numbers: murders in Milwaukee up 180 percent year-over-year, 32 percent in Atlanta, and 17 percent in Chicago. She further warns: “Those citywide statistics from law-enforcement officials mask even more startling neighborhood-level increases. Shooting incidents are up 500 percent in an East Harlem precinct compared with last year.”
$
(Source: FBI Uniform Crime Reports)
The raw numbers make it sound like the U.S. is returning to the bad old days of the 1990s. Big cities like New York and Los Angeles were awash in rampant violence from the crack trade and juvenile “super predators” were predicted to unleash an apocalyptic crime wave. Those predictions never panned out; instead the 20-year period from the mid-90s to today saw violent crime decline by half or more - not that most Americans have noticed.
Annual polling measuring perceptions of crime routinely find Americans believe crime is always on the rise. Last year, Gallup recorded that a staggering 66 percent of Americans believe “there is more crime in the U.S. than there was a year ago.” In the 15 years that Gallup has been recording this question, only once, in 2002, did less than 50 percent agree that crime had risen. These fears are both unfounded and understandable, given that public intellectuals like MacDonald overreact to spikes in violent crime that may just amount to statistical noise. When I looked up the publicly-available crime statistics for East Harlem, I couldn’t find the 500 percent increase in shooting incidents she claimed in the Wall Street Journal. Instead, May’s CompStat reports show shooting incidents and victims both being exactly the same as last year’s figures, with five shooting incidents and shooting victims by May. Murders in East Harlem have risen dramatically, by 200 percent from year-to-date numbers in 2014. In real numbers this means there have been three murders in East Harlem so far this year, up from one this time last year. When examining the numbers this closely, they’re less frightening than the dry recitation of the percentages might imply. The NYPD’s CompStat figures include further useful context, showing how the murder rate in the East Harlem’s 23rd Precinct has fallen from 31 in 1990 every year to only four murders in 2014, a decline of nearly 90 percent. SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
(Source: NYPD 23rd Precinct Monthly CompStat Report)
I can’t say if MacDonald simply got the numbers wrong or, being a well-known conservative supporter of police, she has contacts within the NYPD providing better information. Her insistence that the spike in crime is directly related to the protest movement against police abuse is downright wrong. MacDonald, and a number of reliably conservative commentators, look at the statistics and insist that crime is rising as police pull back from the tactics that – they believe – created the massive drop in crime. Commonly called Broken Windows, police focus on quality-of-life issues and low-level enforcement efforts, often hand-in-hand with tactics like “Stop and Frisk,” are frequently argued to have had an outsized impact on the decline of violent crime nationwide, and specifically in New York. The truth, as it tends it be, is both more complicated and more contested. No one knows with any certainty what caused the drop in violent crime over the past two-and-a-half decades. The best analyses tend to look at a mixture of causes, ranging from social factors like the levels of lead in gasoline and paint, to the more concretely political, such as mass incarceration policies. Despite all that study, no single answer emerges and no widespread agreement on which combination of factors had the greatest impact exists. All of which makes the insistence that any recent spike in crime has an easily identifiable culprit, and that it happens to be a controversial political movement, that much more suspect. As I’ve written before, many on the Right look at the Black Lives Matter movement and insist on seeing only an attack on police, rather than a pointed critique for equal treatment under the law. There are a lot of reasons that might explain the massive drop in crime, and the likeliest explanation for recent increases is that crime can only fall so far. Any demand for exponential decreases are more likely to result in police abuse or manipulation of the statistics, rather than an increase in actual public safety. But the broader questions are worth contemplating. Let’s assume that the cost of keeping crime low is the sort of constant low-level fines and enforcement that the City of Ferguson, Mo., was relying on to fund their municipal budget. Let’s assume that the only way to keep guns off the street is to subject mostly young men of color to a presumption of guilt and suspension of their Fourth Amendment rights commonly shorthanded as “Stop and Frisk.” The moral questions are implicitly answered in any argument supporting such policies. Stop and Frisk keeps guns off the street, in large part by subjecting innocent citizens to search and harassment by cops to scare criminals into not carrying guns themselves. In 2012, the NYPD stopped more than 500,000 citizens, 133,000 were black, nearly equaling New York’s entire black population (158,000). Of those 500,000 stopped, 300,000 were searched, but only 6,000 guns were recovered. Make no mistake, 6,000 guns can do remarkable damage, and we’re all better off with them off the streets than on it. But insisting that the only way to achieve that is to presume guilt and suspend the rights of between a quarter and a half-million people is downright totalitarian. It is, definitionally, the tactic of a police state. But for those convinced the sky is always falling and crime is always rising, the abuse of a (notably nonwhite) segment of the population is always justifiable, and preferable to policies that might effect the wider population, like gun control. It’s far easier to insist that a small group bear the brunt of a whole host of failed policies and social ills than it is to ask the hard questions. Questions like what would constitute an equitable society for all Americans, and from such a place, how could we solve endemic social ills like crime? The failure of imagination isn’t surprising, but at the very least, we shouldn’t pretend that the data supports it.
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Right-Wing Rockers Unite!
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BY PETER GERSTENZANG – @HAPPYSPAPPY
Brand Development and Creative Marketing 469-877-1533 info@culture-hype.com
A
s we ready for the first series of debates with that psychotic circus, that kooky right-wing Coachella we
call the Republican Party, I’ve been thinking. Which everyone knows is never easy for me. But I was wondering recently, who are some of the most entertainingly conservative rockers? You know, who look like Mike Bloomfield but act like Mike Huckabee. So I’ve compiled an annotated list of my favorite Neo-Con musicians. Most of whom are burning up the Ribfest and tractor-pull circuit this summer. When they’re not saying stuff so reactionary it makes Toby Keith sound like Mahatma Ghandi. Meat Loaf: I’ve always loved this guy. He’s the size of your neighborhood food co-op and sings with the subtlety of Tarzan “Lord of the Apes.” His crowning achievement came in 2012, when he backed Mitt Romney and sang “America the Beautiful” for him. In that Avant garde arrangement, which allowed ‘Meat’ to change keys with every note. Worries about the absence of school prayer. Should worry more about his new album: Bat Out of Hell 15: This Time, Even I’m Fucking Embarrassed. Kid Rock: He’s the “Sybil of Rock.” Twelve different musical personalities, each one more barfworthy than the last. Yep, the cat with hair that looks like rancid capellini and has song titles like “Bawitdaba” (which was discarded by Leonard Cohen), raps, plays country and also is a trained Tuvan Throat singer. If that isn’t enticing enough, he also hangs with Ted Nugent. And not since
McCain paired with Sarah Palin has anybody wondered so hard who got the worst end of that deal. He’s made a fortune, too. Which, more than the ethic cleansing in Bosnia, proves there’s no God. Ted Nugent: Racist, misogynistic and crazy as catshit, “The Nuge” is so right wing, he’s actually convinced scores of conservatives to join The Black Panthers. If there’s cosmic justice, there will be many animals in the afterlife. And Ted will be forced to marry an angry Elk. And, oh, what a honeymoon night that’s going to be! Mike Love: It’s never a good sign when a group on Facebook continually talks about why you’re a douchebag. Sometimes this Beach Boy bashes Obama. Sometimes he sings. Most terrifying is when he dresses up like Captain Stubing on The Love Boat. Does transcendental meditation and is still mean as a snake. And, without TM, would unquestionably be a mass murderer. Eric Clapton and Roger Waters: When Clapton’s not busy being God, he’s been known to make statements about people of color so ghastly, he was chastised by Ted Nugent. Roger Waters has been bashing Israel for so long, they’re thinking of adding an epilogue about him in the Old Testament. Waters is too busy to respond, because he’s working on his next project: a musical based on The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. He’s in talks with Elvis Costello to play the lead. Will it happen? Come back next month. I’ll update you. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM
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When You’re Craving Pizza… We Have the Whole Pie! BY STEVEN DOYLE @CRAVEDFW
Louie’s
There is nothing quite as fine as the perfect slice of pizza, and this month we bring you plenty of great choices to find the perfect pie around the Dallas area. Try all of these this month to gain epic baller status.
A long-time Henderson dive featured on Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives with the spastic Guy Fieri, the restaurant has fallen in and out and back in favor with us. We appreciate the no nonsense attitude of the staff, which often times can waver into the downright evil and ornery zone, but perhaps this is the charm we should enjoy. The pizza is a straight forward extra crisp and very thin crust style with a spicy sauce and heaps of toppings including sausage made at Jimmy’s Food Store just a few blocks south across Ross. Sadly, Louie passed away last year but the tradition lives on. 1839 N. Henderson Ave, Dallas.
Coal Vines The restaurant started up in 2006 by the owners of Nick & Sam’s, Joseph Palladino and Phil Romano. Coal Vines serves up a happy pie with plenty of fresh chef-driven toppings baked in a coal oven. The taste is reminiscent of pizza you might find in Brooklyn with a crisp thin crust and a flavorful sauce. There is a nice selection of pizzas on the menu, but we always seem to run to the off-menu house-made meatball. coalvines.com
Nonna Also opening in 2006, this Julian Barsotti restaurant is a fine example of a rustic Italian restaurant that also happens to serve a few pizzas. Although Barsotti studied authentic Neapolitan, this pie hardly qualifies under VPN (Vera Pizza Napoletana) standards. The full-flavored rich and creamy white clam pizza is undoubtedly one of the best finds in Dallas. nonnadallas.com SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
ZaLat
Elbow Room One of the finer Dallas bar pizzas around. If you live in the downtown or Deep Ellum area you may have this pizza delivered as late as 2 a.m. That is if they aren’t too slammed and have enough staff. This pizza is thin and smoky with plenty of spiciness. elbowroomdallas.com
Bryan Street Tavern Another great Dallas bar pizza. The pies here are large, cheap and hit the spot late night while out on a drinking tear. This doesn’t take away from the fact that the pizza is really, really good. The sauce is thick with a good amount of kick, and there is no holding back on the amount of toppings they scatter across the thin dough. bryanstreettavern.com
Serious Pizza
Eno’s Pizza Tavern Located in Bishop Arts in Oak Cliff, this is a cozy spot for a great beer and wine selection, along with one of our pizza favorites. The dough is rolled out painstakingly thin and cut in a bajillion squares, and because Eno knows you always share and play well with others. enospizza.com
ZaLat Owned by the same fellow who owns neighboring DaLat, a late-night pho restaurant located on Fitzhugh, ZaLat is the perfect blend of a New York and Neapolitan crust developed with input from some of the city’s top chefs who frequent the restaurant due to their very late night hours. Open most nights until 4 a.m., you merely need to go online or text ZaLat for delivery, or you may pick up the pie and either take home or dine next door at DaLat. There are no seats at the pizza joint. Order the “Crave” pizza! zalatpizza.com
sweet. This pie might possibly satisfy our need for nostalgia. The fourth generation pizza you taste today is the same that Jack Ruby enjoyed on the eve of the Kennedy assassination. campisisrestaurants.net
Campisi’s
Olivella’s
Serious Pizza A throw-back to a New York neighborhood pizzeria, this very thin and very large pizza is smattered with good ingredients and a hefty amount of sauce. Serious wins a prize in a few pizza categories including best late night pizza and the largest. You may buy a single slice for about three bucks at 3 a.m. at this fairly new Deep Ellum dive. seriouspizza.net
Campisi’s This is where we will lose a few of you. In the Dallas foodie world there are two factions, those who love Campisi’s and those that hate it. We are of the former alliance. The oval pie has heaps of whatever ingredient you may choose and is very thin. The sauce is borderline
Although the people here do a grand Neapolitan-style, they also make that superthin Roman pizza that kicks some serious pizza butt. Made in a grand tradition using century old recipes. Olivella’s is one of the few pizzerias anywhere that makes both Southern and Northern Italian pizza. olivellas.com
Dough Pizzeria The best in Neapolitan style. Located on Forest Lane at the Preston Road crossroad, Dough is the final word in pizza in Dallas with an excellent crust, superior toppings, and housemade mozzarella. The pie gets a 90-second blast in the word-burning oven for a perfect level of crispness and deliciously scorched edges. doughpizzeria.com
Bryan Street Tavern
Olivella’s
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KITCHEN OPEN LATE! 11PM SUN - THURS 1AM FRI - SAT! LIVE MUSIC - NO COVER FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHT ALL SUMMER LONG!
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THE RETURN OF THE PALE EMPEROR MARILYN MANSON CONTINUES TO CONQUER
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BY ALAN SCULLEY ALANLASTWORD@GMAIL.COM
of debauchery. That at least was when he wasn’t working on music or some other artistic pursuit, or having sex – something he told Rolling Stone magazine in its Jan. 15 issue he now must partake in between five and 10 times daily. ”I used to think that 3 a.m. was the time when my brain was most creative,” he explained.
t would be taking things too far to describe Marilyn Manson as a new man, but some winds of change have blown through his work and his life recently.
“This whole (past) year has been about me changing and flipping my entire lifestyle upside down,” Manson said, summing up things in a recent interview. His two main ventures of 2014, the making of the new album, The Pale Emperor, and his recurring role as a white supremacist convict in the popular cable series Sons of Anarchy, had the controversial rocker/actor breaking out of some old habits. Just the basic circumstances surrounding The Pale Emperor were new to Manson, beginning with his main songwriting collaborator – composer Tyler Bates, who is best known for his work on soundtracks, including last year’s blockbuster, Guardians of the Galaxy.
But writing “Birds of Hell Awaiting” – during the light of the afternoon – changed that thinking. “It essentially transformed me. Just making this record,” Manson said. “I flipped my life upside down really quickly, having to get up at 5 a.m. for Sons of Anarchy. So my schedule became completely opposite of what it used to be, which was fun for me because other people were confused. They’re like ‘Oh, he’s not going to be able to do that.’ And I like to prove people wrong.” Unconventional behavior and a willingness to engage in shocking on-stage
behavior have been constants with Manson ever since he formed the first version of his band, as Marilyn Manson & the Spooky Kids, in 1989 in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. The controversy didn’t hurt Manson’s career. The band’s early albums – 1994’s Portrait of an American Family, 1996’s Antichrist Superstar, 1998’s Mechanical Animals and 2000’s Holy Wood (In the Shadow of the Valley of Death) -each sold in the millions. In recent years, controversy surrounding Manson seemed to have died down. But then came a video last fall. Directed by Eli Roth, it included footage from two earlier Manson videos, and featured a scene in which Roth simulated raping singer/songwriter Lana Del Rey. Manson’s camp quickly responded that he had nothing to do with the video. Manson himself has further elaborated that he, Roth and Del Rey attempted to do a video, but he
Manson said he met Bates at a wrap party for the show Californication in 2013, where Bates brought up the idea of collaborating.
Mar•i•lyn Man•son /mar-eh-lin man-sun/ noun 1. A demented human being. (see: psychotic, warped, deranged, disturbed)
bailed from the project. In an interview with Digital Spy, Manson was quoted as saying he dropped out because Del Rey was “being such a problem,” a statement he now denies. “I was misquoted by saying that she was difficult on set,” Manson said. “It was not on set. We were talking about doing something and it didn’t happen. But what was released was nothing to do with Marilyn Manson or a video concept of mine…What was filmed, I neither condone nor not condone. It didn’t really have anything to do with Marilyn Manson. And it was improper for the person who edited into my videos to make it seem like it did. I was only upset with that person and no one else. And I’m sure that Eli Roth and she were more upset than me, so let’s leave it at that.”
With Bates playing guitar and Manson singing, the two immediately connected creatively, forming the song “Birds of Hell Awaiting” in one spontaneous exchange.
As for The Pale Emperor, much of the attention so far has centered on the excellence of the music. Its songs take Manson’s sound in a bit of a bluesy rock direction, with big beats, heavy bass lines and fat and catchy guitar riffs powering the music.
“I knew right away this was going to be a record, and it formed itself completely,” Manson said of the album, which was completed in about three months.
But now comes new tour dates in support of The Pale Emperor, and Manson was a bit cagey about what might be in store.
In making The Pale Emperor, Manson found his entire daily routine getting turned inside out. In years past, the man born 45 years ago as Brian Warner in Canton, Ohio, had been famous for his nocturnal lifestyle. He would sleep during the day and wake just as sun would give way to darkness, then fill his nights with partying and various other forms SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
Jiro Schneider
“As far as what’s going to happen, I don’t know until it happens,” Manson said cryptically of his show, but only after saying the show will evoke two sides of the deep South – the voodoo/hoodoo of the Louisiana swamps and the evangelical fervor of some of the region’s churches. “But I know visually it’s not going to be like any of the Marilyn Manson shows we’ve done before. We’re not going to regurgitate or cannibalize anything I’ve done prior to this.”
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Beach 10 Essentials BY MEREDITH RIMMER @MEREDITHRIMMER
We’ve rounded up our 10 Best Beach Essentials so that you can get the most out of your day in the sun. Check out the list below and start planning that much needed vacation to the beach if you haven’t done so already. Book
Panama Hat
As ridiculous as it might sound, carrying a book with you when you’re at the beach makes you an automatic babe magnet. I mean have you seen the Instagram account dedicated to hot dudes reading? It’s a thing and also makes a book another beach day essential. So if you have some spare time between playing sand volleyball and surfing, go ahead and plop down on those comfy beach chairs and take advantage of the sunlight to get you a chapter or two ahead in your favorite suspense novel. #hotdudesreading
This hat’s breezy features make it the perfect beach essential. With a wide brim and lightweight straw material, this hat does more than just keep you lookin’ fly in the sun. It provides your face and neck protection from the sun all while keeping your head cool. If you’re not one for the heat and having sweat drip continuously down your face, then make sure you put the Panama hat on your checklist before heading to the beach.
Waterproof Watch When water’s involved it’s best to say that you should probably leave your Rolex or Apple watch at home. So if you’re the type of guy who always likes to have the time right on your wrist but don’t want the water to ruin all your fun in the sun, get yourself a waterproof watch. Besides making you look like the cool tech gadget guy and extremely outdoorsy man, a watch with a good water resistance always is great to have on hand for casual less-formal occasions.
Slip-ons Although a sandal may be the ultimate beach day essential, a pair of slip-on sneakers is a very close second. They’re the perfect summer shoes for their ease of wear and universal look. They even are more perfect for the beach and those devoted to my adventurous sand and sun fun. And if you’re lucky enough to get on a boat while out at the beach, you may find a pair of these to be a better fit for your day.
Button-down
Sandals
Leave your tank at home because it’s time to embrace that manly chest hair. A short-sleeved button-down is your new best friend. This shirt makes beachwear more fun. When you make your way to the beach, just simply slip it on, button about two buttons and you are ready to go! If you get too hot while out in the heat, no worries. Undo all buttons and let the beach breeze embrace your chest. It’s a winner all around.
The ultimate beach staple for every guy. If you have an upcoming beach trip planned, don’t forget to pack a pair. Sandals are the best transitional shoe from street, to sand, to water. However, don’t just grab a pair of generic rubber flip flops, opt for ones that are either made of leather or offer some sort of stylish appeal like these ones from Birkenstock.
Bandana
Flask This one is a given and pretty straight forward. Every guy should always be prepared and have a flask on him at all times while at the beach. Because let’s get real, what’s a trip to the beach without alcohol right?
The new it accessory is beach approved. It helps keep the sun off your neck and can also be used to help cool you down when the sun’s heat becomes too much. Just let it absorb some of the salt water and tie it around your head, neck, or even wrist and you are set.
Wayfarers The cool guy’s beach sunglasses. These stylish shades are an absolute must when spending all day with your friends at the beach. Their frame is slightly more durable than a pair of regular wire aviators so they’re ideal for spending time outdoors and doing various water and sand activities. Also wayfarers are just a great staple for any guy to have in his closet. So what are you waiting for, buy a pair if you don’t have some already.
Tropical Trunks Can’t leave home without ‘em. Swim trunks are, of course, a beach day must, but a pair with a tropical print is a necessity. Don’t fall into the norm with just a solid colored pair, liven up your wardrobe with some trunks that scream summer.
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THREE UT O B A S THING TIFUL A BEAU N WOMA
LAUREN BIRAN What type of man are you attracted to? Tall, dark, and handsome. Most importantly, a man who can make me constantly laugh (and I mean really laugh) and smile with a good personality has my heart! Worst dating experience? I once was on a date with a man who asked me if I wanted to bring another guy home with us. Let’s just say that was the end of that!
OUR PEDIGREE D MAGAZINE READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2014 BLITZ WEEKLY BLITZIE AWARD “BEST HAMBURGER” 2014 URBAN SPOON “MOST POPULAR HOT DOG” 2013 D MAGAZINE READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2013 BLITZ WEEKLY BLITZIE AWARD ‘BEST HOT WINGS” 2013 DALLAS OBSERVER READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2013 DALLAS MORNING NEWS “BEST BURGER IN DFW” 2013 BLITZ WEEKLY “BEST SPOTS TO WATCH THE SUPER BOWL” 2013 HOW ABOUT WE “TOP DALLAS DATE SPOT” 2013 CRAVE DFW “BEST DOGS OF DALLAS” 2012 DALLAS MORNING NEWS “BEST BURGER IN DFW” 2012 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST BURGER” 2010 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST GREASY SPOON” 2009 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST NACHOS” 2009 D MAGAZINE “D-BEST HAMBURGER” 2006 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST BURGER” 2006 AOL CITY GUIDE “BEST CHEAP EATS” 2006 AOL CITY GUIDE “BEST LATE NIGHT DINING” 2005 AVID GOLFER MAGAZINE “BEST WINGS” 2004 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HANGOVR THERAPY” 2003 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HOT DOG” 2002 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HAMBURGER” 2002 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST PLACE TO BUY A DOG” 2001 D MAGAZINE “BEST HANGOVER HELPER” 2001 THE MET “BEST BAR FOOD” 2000 D MAGAZINE “BEST WINGS” 2000 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST WINGS” 1998 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HOT DOG” 1994 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST WNGS” 1992
Who is your girl crush? I don’t normally have crushes on girls, but Mila Kunis is the total package.
Jarrod Fresquez Model: Lauren Biran Make-Up: Makeup Junkies, INC. - Jai Okoli Hair: Shane Patrick Smith
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Bits of Wisdom…Andy Samberg
SHE FINALLY GOT EVEN Each Easter, Stephen Woytack, 74, and his wife visited St. Joseph’s Cemetery in Throop, Pa., to decorate a family grave. This time though something different happened. While Mr. Woytack was kneeling before his mother-in-law’s headstone, it suddenly fell over, killing him.
If I had a penny for every strange look I’ve gotten from strangers on the street I’d have about 10 to 15 dollars, which is a lot when you’re dealing with pennies. All great men have mustaches.
Andrew J. Hewett chewednews.blogspot.com
The most successful things I’ve done always happen when I’m not trying to be successful. Young people always ask you for advice and I always say to get out of your comfort zone. Leave where you’re from. Get out and experience more of the world.
David Shankbone
Who do you think would win in a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?
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NEEDED MONEY FOR CLOTHING? Even though Drema Setliff, 30, was found and arrested hiding in the electrical closet of the Charleston, W.Va., One Stop convenience store she had just robbed, no stripsearch was required. That’s because she had committed this robbery totally nude.
MOUNTAINS GOT HER JAILED Ms. Kezia Perkins, age 32, of Greenfield, Wis., was attempting to pull into a handicapped parking space when a 71-yearold woman took the same space. This made Perkins lose her temper, causing her to chest-butt the older woman, knocking her to the ground. While being arrested for assault, she claimed, “It’s not my fault (she) bounced off my big breasts.”
Cancer: June 22-July 22 Enquiring minds want to know: At your birthday party, who’s going to blow out your candle at Tallywackers?
Libra: September 23-October 22 Just keep telling yourself that the first beer each night is for its health benefits. The others are for your witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.
Capricorn: December 22-January 19 You’ll have a tough time explaining to your kids that Taco Bell doesn’t have a playground because it’s hard to have fun when you might shit your pants.
Leo: July 23-August 22 You’ll never forget the first time you were arrested, since the judge brings it up all the time.
Scorpio: October 23-November 21 Your father will finally achieve that long-held goal of his when he legally disowns you.
Aquarius: January 20-February 18 Your drinking allows you to lower your guard and be the person you’ve always wanted to be: a complete fucking asshole.
Virgo: August 23-September 22 Since your new neighbors moved in upstairs, you’re actually starting to miss that former mellow heroin addict.
Sagittarius: November 22-December 21 Your ex-girlfriend will claim she didn’t technically cheat on you, because she set her Facebook relationship to “single” before screwing your best friend.
Pisces: February 19-March 20 You’ll be diagnosed with a rare condition that makes it impossible to get your day started without three cans of an energy drink.
Aries: March 21-April 19 When your girl wants you to grill up some tofu burgers just follow these easy steps: Step 1: Throw it in the trash. Step 2: Grill some meat. Taurus: April 20-May 20 After standing in front of the bathroom mirror, you’ll come face to face with your worst fears. Gemini: May 21-June 21 You’ve been fine with casual Fridays from the get-go, but it’s cocksock Tuesdays that are getting to you.
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BY ETHAN HARMON – @ETHANWRITESHARM
Y
eah, that statement isn’t going to fly with a lot of people initially, but just hear me out for a moment… or however long it takes for you to read this article.
Look, stop making this weird for yourself. In the same way that
Wrestling is a phenomenal, perpetual, engrossing adventure, when the story hits the right beats. And, more often than not, a lot of these characters interact and battle within a well-written, engaging narrative. Wrestling is fun and, because the days of the Attitude Era are behind us, these events can be viewed by all ages. So, instead of watching your life and time burn away in front of you as you binge another season of whatever awful reality show you enjoy, invest in something spectacular. Watch wrestling.
you still secretly like superheroes, you will still enjoy wrestling. airwaves are all written and acted (the drama is made up). Most movies and TV shows are not real accounts of actual events. WWE, TNA, ROH, and all the other branches of wrestling do not show physical brawls. Instead, they show spectacle. They give a physical performance and add story to make it unique. Wrestling is about entertainment. Fans turn on Monday Night Raw for the same reason they turn on Netflix and watch Daredevil: entertainment, story, fun, drama.
As a kid, I, along with dozens of other kids roaming the playground of my elementary school, would talk about wrestling with Dean Ambrose inspiration in our eyes and joy in our voices. We would shout the finishing moves of our favorite character and try – and fail – to recreate the epic brawls that flashed before us the previous night. As I hit my teenage years, the bouts of Stone Cold and the Rock – complete with beer, shooting the bird, and smelling what was cooking – were gone, as wrestling began to become more about the technical aspects in the right, as well as developing character. Not to say that the Attitude Era didn’t involve technical prowess, but it focused on the fantastical, larger-than-life stories and characters. The wrestlers of my teens were filled with character and brought an extra destructive edge to the ring. Eddie Guerrero and company were dominating the squared-circle, and at the time, it was unparalleled to everything else on the small screen. During my late teens and into my early 20s, I did not keep up with WWE or TNA. It was not because I was bored with it or went with the “it’s not real” excuse. I was just preoccupied with writing and school, so my focus always SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
was elsewhere. However, at 24 years old, one of my good friends had me visit his new home, take a seat on a very comfortable leather couch, and watch the latest PPV with him. Immediately, I was sucked back in. What I saw was similar to the wrestling I experienced during my childhood and early teens, but there also was something different about the way it was approached. The men and women walking into the ring still carried a larger-than-life persona, but a lot of time was now spent showing why these people were respected and feared in the ring. Extended promotions showcasing character development and exposition were now common. Gimmick-type matches were
reserved primarily for PPV events, which made two men jumping off ladders and performing flying-elbow drops that much more special. The wrestling itself was significantly better than what I remembered, at least on a technical level. These men and women were literally putting their bodies on the line as they leaped through the ropes for a suicide dive and delivered tornado DDTs. More focus was poured into not only making these in-ring gods walk around with a big stick, but know how to use it properly. And, just to be clear, the “it’s not real” excuse is not a valid reason to avoid a solid block of wrestling. The garbage reality shows that fill
Look, stop making this weird for yourself. In the Kevin Owen same way that you still secretly like superheroes, you will still enjoy wrestling. Turn it on and watch. See Kevin Owens nail John Cena with a pop-up powerbomb. Cheer as Sasha Banks contorts Dana Brooke’s body with a submission hold. And get on your feet and yell with excitement as Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins throw down atop a gigantic ladder. Sure, these are not real fights, but wrestling provides fun, entertaining spectacle and story that is not found anywhere else. So tune in before Austin 3:16 whoops your ass!
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