BOLD +P L U S Magazine - Jan 2016

JANUARY 2016

THE FUTURE FAVORS THE BOLD LOVE YOUR CURVES!

COVER

LYNETTE CORREA-VELEZ BEYOND THE CURVES ZORA RISING LADY VONCILE BELCHER CHROME SPOTLIGHT: DONTE FERGUSON THE EDUCATION QUANDRY FULL FIGURED AND SATISFIED

BOLDPLUS MAGAZINE

LETTER FROM THE

EDITOR

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

LYNITA MITCHELLBLACKWELL

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell

MANAGING EDITOR

DAVID M. GOOD CREATIVE DIRECTOR

STACEY BOWERS PHOTOGRAPHER

JOSHE MARTIN MAKEUP ARTIST

ELIZABETH ST. JOHN-HALL

The future favors the BOLD. Love your curves!!

Welcome to the second issue of BOLD +P L U S! I cannot express the gratitude I feel at the incredibly warm reception we received on our inaugural issue last summer. The supportive social media posts, emails, and calls were absolutely thrilling! So many women - and MEN - who are standing up and embracing their BOLDness to say, “I AM BEAUTIFUL - no BUT’s about it!” is an incredible affirmation of the work we are doing to build people up in this world that would tear them down at a moment’s notice.

In this second issue of BOLD + P L U S, we are pleased to feature our cover, Latina Career Coach, Lynette Correa-Velez who candidly tells her story of pursuing and realizing her purpose; an inside view of the upcoming reality TV show featuring women with curves “Full Figured & Satisfied”; a beautiful tribute to the courage of fashion designer Coco Chanel by new writer high school student Aisha Wheaton; features of the beautiful songstress Lady Voncile Belcher and model the “Curvymodelmela”; our CHROME spotlights basketball player Dionte Ferguson and entrepreneur Breezy Gipson; and travel, food, and amazing stories of perseverance and BOLD tenacity.

Enjoy shopping with our wonderful advertisers, and share your thoughts with us - we listen! Happy New Year and BOLD Blessings. And remember: The future favors the BOLD. Love your curves!

Lynita

Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell, Esq., CPA, CCLC Founder and Editor-in-Chief

32

08 CHROME Spotlight:

Donte Ferguson 12

Resturant Review: Jax Beach

40

28

42 One to Watch - Monique 44 Spotlight:

Sharmela Barr-Vaughn

18 10 Superfoods

46 Full Figured and Satisfied

20 Start Living by Intention:

Discover Your Purpose

48 Do you think Men and Women

Have different Communication

Styles?

24 My Testimony: Tanisha Mackin 28 Lady Voncile Belcher 30 Atlanta Business

Card Exchange

52 Fashion Ode to Coco Chanel 56 Rising After You Fall 58 Zora Rising

32 A.L. Cooper Wants You To Be

Extraordinary

62 Book Review: Getting Screwed

34 Celebrity Bowl For A Cause

Charity Event

68 World Size Fashion

36 Curves 38 Beyond the Curves 40 CHROME Spotlight:

Breezy Gipson

64 The Education Quandry 70 The Glamorous Life:

Kustom Events 75 Pumps, Pearls and Progress 77 Q & A with Tinsley Bradford

CONTENTS

8

IN 20

THIS ISSUE

64

JANUARY

2016

44

Bold Plus Magazine

34

COVER STORY 56

LETTER FROM THE

MANAGING EDITOR David M. Good JANUARY 2016 MAGAZINE CONTRIBUTORS Dr. Connie Franklin Tinzley Bradford Paul S. Grieve Brianna Lewis-Screen David M. Good Dalton J. Blackwell Sandy Chernoff Aisha Wheaton Brianna Lewis-Screen Dana Brown Cathy Burroughs Lynda Dell David M. Good

The year 2015 had dramatic highs, world-wide elections that will shape nations, to disturbing lows, terrorism from Charleston, South Carolina to Paris and from Nigeria to Beirut. Now 2015 is in the history books and we enter 2016. A year, whose start is not measured by what we did or didn’t do in the past, but what we will do now that it is here.

We make New Year’s resolutions; from working out more, dieting, starting that business, quitting that job, running for political office and on and on, but STOP! Just Stop!! Stop talking about what you are going to do on the 1st of the year; it’s probably what you said last year. Instead bring in 2016 with a plan, leave the failures and successes of 2015 behind but learn from those failures and build on those successes, just don’t revel in them.

Look at the people and topics in this issue; it’s about how to be that “bold” and fearless you, one who takes chances and moves on in spite of what others say or what circumstances shows. Be dynamic in 2016.

If your goal is to start a business then do it, but know what it takes to start the company. The article by Harold “Breezy” Gibson is informative and necessary if you want to become an entrepreneur.

Also, Sharmela Barr-Vaughn aka Curvymodelmela will inspire those that want to be a plus size model, advise on what it takes to associate yourself with and succeed in the fashion industry, and give you the charge to always believe in yourself no matter what.

Ask yourself this question: What is my goal for the 1st quarter of 2016? Once you have that answer, plan for it, go after it and apply the principles to get it.

This year will be what you make it, so make it bold, make it fabulous and make it count. Make 2016 the best one yet! Happy New Year!

David M. Good BOLDPLUS MAGAZINE

David M. Good Managing Editor

Born Ready

Dionte Ferguson

Dionte Ferguson is one of the newest professional basketball players for the overseas team Baloncesto Agustinos Eras in Spain (EBA). Already named league MVP of the month in less than six months, Dionte (affectionately known as “Tay” to family and friends) is well on his way to achieving his ultimate goal: playing in the United States National Basketball Association (NBA).

Looking at Dionte now, you would think he always wanted to play basketball. At 6’6” and 220 pounds, with a sleek athletic build, he is a coach’s dream. But although he has always been tall for his age, the dream to be a professional basketball player began with his stepfather. “My stepdad pounded in to me what I never thought I could get out,” were Dionte’s exact words. Born in Dayton, Ohio and raised in Grand Rapids, Michigan until his early teens, Dionte started playing basketball recreationally when he was five. However, he did not realize how good he was until the family moved to Montgomery, Alabama and Dionte played on his middle school’s team - and he got cut midyear. Dionte was hurt, but did not appeal the decision. However, that was not the end of it - far from it. His stepfather, a man of strong conviction, worked with him “in the burning Alabama heat” every day during the summer break. It was during this process that Dionte realized that although he was talented, he knew he had not taken the game as seriously as he should have to be truly great and avoid the cut. From that point, basketball was no longer a game, but a career.

We love CHROME! MEN WHO ARE

CHARISMATIC HONORABLE RESOURCEFUL OPTIMISTIC MEN OF EXCELLENCE!

Dionte is a “classic” man Dionte focused on finding professional players whose style he admired. He analyzed their talents, skills, and abilities to “perfect [his] craft”. On the list are Kobe Bryant, Michael Beasley, and Paul George. Dionte worked hard, and was recruited to Morehead State University. He did well there, but transferred to University of South Alabama. The transfer cost Dionte time, in that he had to sit out his junior year. However, it was worth it, as it allowed him to consider his future - and that is when he became committed to playing professional basketball. Upon completing his degree in Sports Management Spring 2015, Dionte worked with is agent and was selected to play for EBA in Spain in the fall as starting forward. His schedule of working out, practices, and games is grueling, but he loves it. “I am so thankful and blessed to be here. Not many people have this opportunity.” With the little down time he has, Dionte hangs out with his roommates (who are also teammates), playing PS4 games and listening to music. A “classic” man, Dionte loves “the oldies” such as the Isley Brothers.

Dionte’s family has been very supportive of all his endeavors, particularly his mother. He describes her as his best friend, and thinks the world of her. “She brought us up by herself until [I] was eight, when she married my stepfather.

We became really close when my grandma died. I began to really understand all the sacrifices she made for us, and to see her as not just my mom, but as a woman.” When his mother married, they became a blended family. The four siblings are very close. They argue, “but it’s all sibling love,” Dionte said with a laugh. As the oldest of the four (Dionte is 23, his sister is 22, and his brothers are teens), Dionte works hard to set a good example for them. His faith has been paramount to that. Since coming to Spain, Dionte set a goal to read the Bible cover to cover, and to use his free time growing closer to God. He reads and meditates daily, and the practice has sharpened his skills.

When Dionte comes home in May 2016, he plans to play in the United States summer league and work with his agent to - prayerfully - get picked up by a US team.

To follow Dionte on his quest, check him out on Twitter at @Coolie_nThaCut and Instagram at @BornReady_24

10

boldfavormagazine.com

Rank: Games Played and Started: Points:

6

field goals made, attempted and percentage - 44-80, 55%

FTM, FTA, FT%:

free throws made, attempted and percentage - 24-40, 60%

REB, OREB, DREB:

three-point field goals made, attempted and percentage - 0-3.0% rebounds, offensive rebounds, defensive rebounds - Offensive 3.5, Defensive 8.8

ASsisTs:

0.8

STeaLs:

0.3

BLocKs:

1.2

Turnovers:

4.5

Personal fouls:

2.8

MINutes:

boldfavormagazine.com

DIONTE’S STATS FOR THE (PARTIAL) YEAR 2015-16:

18.7

FGM, FGA, FG%:

3FGM, 3FGA, 3FG%:

11

21.7

31.5

Resturant Review

jax beach

florida’s oceanfront casa marina hotel and rooftop restaurant: Just over the Georgia border and east of the city of Jacksonville, Florida is the 22 miles of wide, white uncrowded Jax Beach - a mere five plus hour drive from Atlanta or a reasonably priced one-hour trip on Southwest Airlines. It was here in the height of the 20’s that the very rich, the very famous, and just about everyone else flocked to the “World’s Finest Beach.”

Gracing the dunes practically right on the beach is the imposing one-of-a-kind historic oceanfront Casa Marina Hotel - a time capsule, providing direct access to the exoticism and glamour of this bygone era. It does not take much to imagine the likes of Jean Harlow, Charlie Chaplin and even Al Capone passing through the corridors or dancing the night away to the Charleston, Black Bottom or Fox Trot in the gleaming hallways and salons of this Spanish hacienda style hotel listed on the prestigious National Register of Historic Places.

Nearly a century later, the last remaining building standing from the prohibition era has been lovingly restored. Each room has fixtures and decorative touches that reflect the hotel’s different time periods with 23 (21 have ocean views) uniquely designed boudoir deluxe rooms and parlor suites. Suitable for a movie set, the dramatic and evocative grand ballroom or salon with alfresco courtyard festooned with paper lanterns under the starry night sky, against the backdrop of the crashing sea could not be more perfect for the more than 150 weddings and special events that take place each year.

Throwback to the Roaring ‘20s and Bastion of a Heyday Ushers in a New Era

12

boldfavormagazine.com

Casa Marina Hotel is still the place to stay on the beach and has witnessed it all

Our first night there we enjoyed crab cakes and the fruit plate in the penthouse restaurant/lounge watching the fireworks and our accommodating DJ made the switch from fusion to Motown without missing a beat. Sunday’s multi-coursed eight seating buffet with mimosas just named “Jax’s Best” by Void Magazine, was understandably packed. With primo prime rib (divine!), paella, fried green tomatoes, a decorative and photogenic epic Red Snapper (8-10 are served each weekend) and more delectable food choices than anyone could possibly eat in one sitting.

The previous night we took the short walk to the hotel’s sister sports bar and eatery with surround flat screens Zeta’s (zetabrewing.com).

The menu included scrumptious flat bread pizzas (we could not resist and took one to go!), outstanding Greek salads, and much more with twenty home brewed and specialty beers, lagers and ryes with names like Ruby Beach and Power to the Porter. That night the Jacksonville Jaguars won, so life was good.

14

boldfavormagazine.com

A short 12 minute walk takes you to the Beaches Museum & History Park (www.beachmuseum.org) for a fascinating historic display with park and replica houses and locomotive in and around its strikingly contemporary building.

During the summer months a free trolley will carry you from place to place with surfing, hiking and biking all a short distance away.

On Sunday morning we dashed the 45 minutes back to enchanting Amelia Island for an exceptionally fun and adventurous Craig Cat catamaran group tour, two to a boat - essentially like a go cart on the water (www.backwateradventure.com).

For 3.5 hours we zipped, doughnuted and joy rode the wave caps, crossing the lines to both Georgia and Florida twice, navigating Egan’s Creek, past Fort Clinch and on to Cumberland Island. Here on the island where JFK Jr. married are 150 wild ponies, wild turkeys, aardvarks and the ruins of the Carnegie castle. On our last day we went over one or two of the many bridges that make Jacksonville “the city of bridges,” making the 30 minute ride to the surprisingly progressive downtown and spectacular not to miss Museum of Contemporary Art.(mocajacksonville.org) Speaking of not to miss: the Casa Marina Hotel is still the place to stay on the beach and has witnessed it all – when everything and anything seemed and was possible. We are happy to report this remarkable “Grande Dame” of the beach is still loaded with history, still stunning and still going strong!

Big thank you to the fabulous Leigh Cort of Leigh Cort Publicity, Christine Hoffman of the Beaches History Museum, the Jacksonville Museum of Contemporary Art, Sunny and the team at Zeta Brewing, Allen Elefterion, Rob and Bobby at Backwater Adventure Amelia Island (BackwaterAdventureAmelia@gmail.com), and last but not least, the generous Grace Palafox and the wonderful and welcoming Casa Marina Family. ■ Cathy H. Burroughs, Adventurer & Travel Blogger

Casa Marina Hotel and Restaurant 691 First Street North Jacksonville Beach, FL 32250 904-270-0025 www.casamarinahotel.com 15

boldfavormagazine.com

boldfavormagazine.com

15

the

FUTURE favors

the

BOLD

Be fearless in

2016

Looking to tighten up for the New Year?

10

Superfoods that Boost Your Metabolism:

Grapefuit, Cinnamon, Green Tea, Celery Ginger, Broccoli, Garlic, Avocado, Hot Peppers, Berries, (blue berry, raspberry, black berry)

THIS COULD BE YOUR YEAR TO STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE AND SOAR—WITH A GENTLE NUDGE FROM BESTSELLING AUTHOR DR. DEANA MURPHY. SHE EMPOWERS WOMEN TO PUSH PAST THEIR FEARS, DEVELOP RESILIENCE, AND UNLEASH THEIR UNTAPPED POTENTIAL.

START LIVING BY INTENTION:

DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE

20

boldfavormagazine.com

In Murphy’s recently released anthology Resilience: Living Life by Design, twelve remarkable women not only walk readers through their journeys but also outline specific strategies to override self-destructive behaviors in order to build and pursue resilience.

“Within every adversity lies a seed of opportunity for growth,” says Murphy. “Use this setback to your advantage to discover the hidden value in that phase of your life to reach the next level.”

In Resilience, Glenda O. Cook, a combat veteran with a net worth of more than a half million dollars, was a 19-yearold underclassman when she faced her biggest trial. Four months into her three year Reserved Officers Training Corps (ROTC) contract that paid for her schooling, she revealed to the master sergeant that she was pregnant.

22

boldfavormagazine.com

When she requested taking the next semester off to have her baby, her superior officer told her to quit. “Just drop out and be more realistic about your situation,” he said.

Instead of beating herself up for making a bad decision, this tenacious woman began to turn things around starting with her own thoughts. “Your thoughts are your biggest enemy!” realized Cook.

She looked beyond her current circumstances that were not part of her dream of attaining an education, building a successful career, and then marrying and having children in that order.

To flourish again, she knew that she had to let go of anger, resentment, and hate. Most importantly, she learned to forgive herself and others.

Cook developed an action plan that enabled her to return to school with her baby boy in tow. This resilient woman’s determination, dedication, and discipline led her to surpass her goals.

“I went from questioning my resiliency to leading 100 soldiers in Iraq at age 23. Three years later I acquired my MBA,” said the lieutenant.

Although it wasn’t the path that she had originally chosen, her burden became a blessing. Every contributor shared a life lesson and a process for overcoming obstacles.

Angeline Lawrence developed leadership skills from working through a workplace bullying issue. While Denise Hanney shifted perspective by discovering beauty and value every moment throughout her day. She lives her signature mantra: Expect the Best in YOUR Life! TM But these are more than compelling stories said awardwinning speaker and author Murphy. “One does not become resilient by simply reading the book.”

She wanted women to walk away with an action plan to empowerment: “Creation did not end on the seventh day; creation is continuing in us as we create our world through our words, thoughts, and actions. God just sets the foundation,” believes Murphy. ■ Lynda Dell

facebook, twitter, linkedin

DeanaMurphyGlobal.com

After going through an incredible battle with colon cancer and experiencing the loss of her husband shot dead during a random shooting the night of their wedding reception, Tanisha rose from the ashes like The Phoenix to found The Mackin Project. The Mackin Project provides support and programs for those who have loss loved ones to violence. It has been well received in Buffalo, Texas, and Atlanta; and they started two new programs the last year: The Widow’s Relief program offers care packages to women and children who recently lost a spouse or father, and Widow’s Talk that provides bereavement coaching to widows.

Tanisha has channeled her joy and pain, ups and downs, sadness and happiness through her writing. Starting with journaling at the suggestion of her counselor, Tanisha realized she needed to share her story with other survivors, and has published five books over the past five years. The author of Amazon Top 20 Bestseller Still Standing and Still Standing Part 2 has been both encouraging and giving others hope for the past 5 years.

Her fifth book, #11 Amazon Bestseller My Testimony, I Don’t Look Like What I’ve Been Through was released Summer 2015. To celebrate the launch, Tanisha and her son Danyell Mackin, Jr., went on a four-city book tour (Buffalo, NY, Austin, TX, Charlotte, NC and Atlanta, GA) that truly brought love and hope to dozens of people, and brought the mother-in-law duo closer than ever.

September 2015, in partnership with reality TV star and radio personality Jae Nash, Tanisha founded “Widows On The Go”, a group for women who have lost a spouse, boyfriend or partner. Their goal is to give women hope after loss.

They understand that regardless of what is are going through in life, women are always on the move, and they are not your average widows.

My Testimony

Tanisha Mackin

Violence has been a part of Tanisha’s life from the time she was 7 years old up until 2010, when she watched her husband take his last breath.

Tanisha has felt pain like no other, but she decided to turn her trials into triumph.

Visit www.tanishadmackin.com to learn more about how you may get involved and support those who have loss loved ones to violence.

the

FUTURE favors

the

BOLD

Be fearless in

2016

27

boldfavormagazine.com

the song, “Do You Know Who Jesus Is,” which became a blessing and inspiration to many.

Later in 1985, she relocated to Atlanta, Georgia, and transferred her GMWA membership to the Atlanta Chapter where she was welcomed with open arms. Residing in Atlanta, she took charge of her music career and began recording and while in the studio, she met a man that would change the course of her life in music. Rev. Milton Biggham, then the President of Savoy Records, gave her a little piece of paper with three lines that said “Look Where He Brought Me From.” With those three lines, she sang lead vocals on the track of the same name that appeared on the Georgia Mass Choir’s 1985 album, We’ve Got the Victory. The song became an instant hit on The Gospel Billboard Charts and is still sung across the country in churches today. Along with Georgia Mass Choir, Voncile also sang lead on “Hold on to God’s Unchanging Hand” also written by Gospel-Great James Bignon.

Born in the small town of Ozark, Alabama, she enjoyed singing for her family where she hails from a strong religious background; her father was a noted minister while her mother was a well-respected missionary. With deep gospel roots, her yearning to sing thrived. Today, her love for Gospel Music has awarded her many opportunities to minister in song and has led Lady Voncile Belcher to pursue her fourth solo project.

Voncile moved with her family to Rochester, New York where she became affiliated with the City of Rochester Mass Choir, which was her first opportunity to perform on a professional singing level. In 1974, she and her family returned to Ozark, Alabama, where she was introduced to the Gospel Music Workshop of America (GMWA) – Alabama Chapter. This association would prove to be the catalyst to her first recording venture with the Harris Temple Church of God in Christ, under the direction of Keith Ellison, where she recorded and sang lead vocals on

28

boldfavormagazine.com

Continuing her solo career with a leap of faith, it led her to the release her first solo album entitled Be Strong.

Coming off the highs of Be Strong she began to cultivate her gift of writing, releasing her second project, What a Time, in which she did a vast array of writing, arranging and co-producing. Once more, again with success and opportunity in view, she then released her third project with Low Rush Music, Kourageous, in the summer of 2010.

2014 was an exciting year for Lady Voncile Belcher as she was awarded by the Rhythm of Gospel Awards as the “Traditional Artist of the Year” and is already nominated in 3 categories for the 2015 Awards Show. Under her own newly formed Glory Bound (GB) Records, and working with Producers Tim Fryar, Rodney Edge and New Me Productions, her single release of the song “Alright” is playing on the radio in the U.S. and International markets.

The Christmas release of “A Time to Celebrate” proved as a seasonal hit with a perpetual impact. And now in 2015, the highly anticipated release of her fourth solo project entitled, Phenomenal, where you will be sure to hear a fresh, new and innovative Lady Voncile Belcher. ■

Lady Voncile Belcher “The Voice that Rejuvenates Traditional Gospel Music”

networking with purpose On Thursday, December 17th at the Buckhead Library, Santa came in the form of business abounding opportunities at the Atlanta Business Card Exchange (BCX). Founded

by Dr. Dhanvanti Moore and Author Bernice Brown earlier this year, the BCX is a creative opportunity for business owners, entrepreneurs, artists and the undecided to come together to network with a plan.

The evening included “speed networking”, a concept Dr. Moore experienced during her time in Los Angeles, where attendees are paired off for 30 seconds and each person has 15 of those seconds to “pitch” their business. The desire to say everything in the allotted time created an excited energy that pulsed through the approximately 45 professionals in attendance. Next, everyone was given 45 seconds to present their business - but with a twist: the audience was then asked to give three referrals to that person who could use their products or services. Many left with not only a stack of business cards from people who were genuinely excited to take next steps in the business relationship; but also warm leads for people who were not in the room. So instead of meeting 45 people, many “met” 90 to 120.

The event was sponsored by retired veteran turned entrepreneur Gerald Clark, who has experienced great success in KaratBars International, featured the talents of

up-and-coming musician Supastar6, and had live radio coverage with the B.A.G. Lady Radio Show with host Mrs. Mary Ellis. The crowd was eclectic, in that there were actors, models, comedians, authors, freelance writers, as well as small business owners in clothing design, event management, branding, entertainment, fitness, health and wellness, finance and accounting, law, graphic design and network marketing.

Held quarterly, the BCX is a great opportunity to “get your network on” with people who are serious about being successful and rising TOGETHER. ■

the atlanta

business card exchange

For more information about the group and their next meeting, contact Dr. Dhavanti Moore at

RichBlackGirl.com

31

boldfavormagazine.com

boldfavormagazine.com

31

A.L. COOPER She is a Writer, Abstract Artist, Motivational Speaker, and Talk Show Host, which validates that she has an abundance of talent and possesses a passion for motivating people. As Executive Producer of her syndicated radio and television talk show called, Talking Out Loud with A. L. Cooper, she is also determined to change the game with her unscripted talk forum. A. L. is an advocate of the First Amendment that prohibits abridging the freedom of speech, and feels that the voice of the people must be heard.

32

boldfavormagazine.com

Most people just live life and then there are others, who are passionate about life, A L Cooper is the latter.

wants YOU to be

EXTRAORDINARY Early in life, A. L. knew she wanted to be a talk show host.

When most kids were rushing home from school to watch cartoons or Saved By The Bell, she was rushing home to watch Phil Donahue, Sally Jesse Raphael, and Oprah.

She loved how the host, guest, and audience all engaged in the conversation and often day-dreamed about being in the audience giving her eight grade point of view about social topics. Then, on the fateful day of September 8, 1986, the Oprah Winfrey Show aired and her dreams of wanting to be in the audience changed to wanting to be the host of the show.

That dream is now a reality, each week, A. L. and her co-host Alfonso Todd talk out loud about real issues that are affecting real people. She also provides an open panel forum that allows her audience to be a part of the conversation. The dynamic duo’s charismatic and quick-witted charm is the key ingredient that draws their audience to the show. In addition to radio, A. L. has expanded Talking Out Loud with A. L. Cooper to a weekly television talk show. She has also syndicated her radio 33

boldfavormagazine.com

show across the country on several stations including Atlanta’s very own WIGO-AM 1570. If changing the way people speak wasn’t already challenging enough, A. L. Cooper is also changing what people do. For nearly a decade, she has been in the business of helping people realize their given talents and motivating them to maximize their full potential. Her passion for people has made her an ambassador for positive change and her platform is “Be Inspired to be Extraordinary.” Her newest book “Are You An Elliott? Seven Ways to Maximize Your Full Potential”, has helped expand her platform to include motivational speaking, and lunch & learn workshops that empower people to overcome their fears of failure and passionately pursue their purpose. So, regardless if A. L. Cooper is talking out loud on her radio or television talk show, writing a book, motivating a crowd, or teaching a workshop; she is always a captivating, entertaining and informative personality who can energize and inspire your audience to be Extraordinary! Visit www.TalkingOutLoud.biz to learn more about this dynamic woman and her shows. ■

12.13.15

The afternoon of December 13th, I strolled into Midtown Bowl in Atlanta, GA to participate in the CETA Foundation’s Celebrity Holiday Bowling For A Cause Charity Event. Once inside and registered I met actor, author and former professional football player, Stevie Baggs. Stevie is president of this non-profit foundation which envisions a world where all people have access to resources and tools to maximize quality of life. We conversed about his passion for helping people and praised the celebrities and organizations for giving of their time, gifts and donations for this charity event.

Then it was time to get on my celebrity team and commence to bowling strikes. There were many lanes with celebrities bowling. I did a couple of warm up bowls as Damion “Crazy Legs” Hall from Guy, and our direct competition, started the trash talking. Once we got started, he was able to back-up the talk. My team was led by R&B singer J. Holiday and celebrity nail professional, Bresay DeFoor. It was a great time had by all and our team won, (mainly because of three straight strikes in the 10th and final set, but the real winner were the people who will benefit from the gifts given and the money raised through the CETA Foundation. ■ David Good

For more information and to donate please vist us online

i appreciate and celebrate the beauty of those wonderful

Curves I’ve always been attracted to curves, there seems to be an innate power that emanates from those curves that causes me to stop in my tracks. When I see my wife, wherever we are, my first instinct is to place my hands on her waist and let them slowly move to rest on her hips. She hears me tell her enough how beautiful that she is, but for some reason it doesn’t resonate with her exactly how drawn I am to her and those curves. When we are lying next to each other, I become spellbound just looking at the view of her hips while she is reading or gently sleeping. She often easily dismisses my devotion to her figure by saying that she is “too big” or why would I want to “look at all of that.” I tell her that her “all of that” is exactly why I am looking, have been looking and will continue to look.

For as long as I can remember, my fascination of women consisted of a curvy, hourglass figure and her knowledge of knowing exactly how to accentuate those curves to make the world stop and take notice.

I love the curves on my wife, even though she may not be as excited about them as I. I tell her that mass media cannot sway a man from something so beautiful, no matter how many malnourished “models” they prop up as the idea of beauty. I say that real beauty comes from the confidence of being comfortable and happy with your body, whatever the size or shape. I welcome this continuing acknowledgement that real women have curves and hope that this can be my own contribution to the recognition of curvy women everywhere. As the desire to reach over to my wife and slide my hand from her waist to her heavenly hips takes over me, let me thank you all for indulging me as I appreciate and celebrate the beauty of those wonderful curves. ■ Dalton J. Blackwell

“There’s SO MUCH MORE Beyond the Curves, and we are here to embrace it ALL with each other.”

To learn more about Beyond the Curves and to become a part of the movement, visit beyondthecurves.wix.com/beyondthecurves or email Tamilla at info@beyondthecurves.com

At age 33, Tamilla was planning events for a local municipality in South Florida with a population of more than 103k residents. In September 2014 she was given the news that her position would come to an end. With her tremendous faith, Tamilla realized that God closes one door only to open another one. This door would allow her to do BIGGER and BETTER things while fulfilling her dream to encourage other women…It was during this appointed time that Tamilla was able to dedicate her full attention on launching a phenomenal organization…

Beyond the Curves.

Beyond the Curves is more than an organization, it’s a movement based on women embracing themselves and loving the skin they are in. In order to do this, women must understand what matters in life is what is on the inside and not how one looks on the outside. It’s about empowering women of all shapes, colors and different walks of life and embracing the fact that there’s so much more beyond their curves. “Many women, no matter the shape or size or age, sometimes need motivation and reassurance that they are beautiful.” It’s about encouraging healthy lifestyles, self worth and self love while embracing who you really are beyond the surface. Beyond the Curves is this and so much more!!! It’s a sisterhood!!!

A sisterhood filled with diversity, confidence and love. This dynamic group of women love themselves and love encouraging others to do the same.

Since its launch on September 8, 2014, Beyond the Curves has hosted a number of successful events that brought women together to celebrate themselves in an engaging environment.

Beyond the Curves First Annual Women’s Empowerment Conference was held April of 2015. The conference showcased speakers in the areas of self-worth/self-empowerment, inner and outer beauty and breakout sessions and panel discussions, vendors and lunch. They also hosted a night of bowling, food and fun at their Bowling Maddness event. I personally 39

boldfavormagazine.com

had the great opportunity to attend Girl Talk/Girls Night where women came together for a night of food, drinks, casual talk, and were treated to a make-up tutorial and massages. Friendships were cultivated and business owners were able to expand their brand. Beyond the Curves also took part in Breast Cancer Awareness events as well as assisted in a local toy drive this holiday season.

When living your best life, it’s imperative to surround yourself with the right people. We all can stand to grow… why not take that journey with other’s sharing a common goal? ■

Blessed with the gift of event planning and a passion to motivate

others, Caribbean beauty

Tamilla Mullings was blessed with an amazing vision that became a reality…

Beyond the Curves.

Breezy Gipson

“Be a friend, be a leader, be of service.” This is the motto of service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega, and the personal mantra of one of its faithful sons, Harold “Breezy” Gipson.

An incredibly successful entrepreneur who has helped literally thousands of up-and-coming professionals reach their goals, Breezy is most proud of his ability to serve. “I am a servant...

I’m just a guy, and I lean towards doing as much as I can to help others.”

Born in Niagara Falls, NY, Breezy moved to Atlanta with his family when he was 13, and has seen the city grow and open its arms to people looking to build their dreams; and Breezy has enjoyed the fruits of the boom. After graduating from college, Breezy went to work in Corporate America - “Gotta have a job!” He learned a lot during his time working for giants that included Lockheed Martin. Interestingly, it was his work with these companies that lit the fire in his belly to go out on his own - to embrace entrepreneurship. “I experienced downsizing, transfers, restructures...I got tired. I needed to be in control of me [and my destiny], instead of someone else.”

We love CHROME! MEN WHO ARE

CHARISMATIC HONORABLE RESOURCEFUL OPTIMISTIC MEN OF EXCELLENCE!

It was an isolating revelation. As Breezy committed to learning and attending workshops and seminars to prepare his self for “the leap,” his colleagues and coworkers began to shun him. Breezy ate lunch alone in the cafeteria and he was not invited to various office functions. He pushed on, and eventually founded Financial Breeze Benefits, a benefits analysis and consulting firm, and later took his message of financial independence to the airwaves with his co-host on the “FinancialBreeze” radio show on The PraiseHouse Network.

A Cool Breeze Inspired to Serve and Lead: “Be a friend, be a leader, be of service.”

It has been over 15 years since Breezy appointed himself the Chief Leadership Officer of his life. He now enjoys sharing that empowering message and circumstance with others. “There are many experts who are excellent in their fields, but who need help being leaders.” He shared the example of a seamstress who is incredibly gifted in sewing, but who lacks the leadership qualities to take her business to the “next level and to a more fruitful situation.”

For up and coming leaders, Breezy is emphatic about the importance of establishing and maintaining a powerfully positive and professional persona. “Your persona carries a lot of weight. You can have a great product or service, but you must bring your persona UP to match the superiority of the product or service. You must be meticulous and pay exacting attention to detail.”

Breezy also shares his transformation as a mentor in the community with several organizations, particularly those that focus on foster children and those who have experienced abuse and neglect. “I wish there were more [people out there who would volunteer],” he stated wistfully. “Just to be able to listen to these young people, mentor them and help them build their self-confidence.”

Breezy loves being out and about in the city and across the American landscape with his travels. He is especially passionate about supporting domestic violence and breast cancer survivor causes. Breezy cannot go to every event he is invited to attend -”I’m just a guy” - but he freely shares the positive light that permeates his life with the people he meets. “That’s where my participation with The DigitalBreeze Show blossoms, because many people who have invited me to various events have ended up as radio guests on our show. Our platform allows them to educate and inform our radio listeners about their business endeavors.”

That positive light has been a part of his life since he was a baby. Breezy shared the origins of his name. When he was a baby, he hardly ever cried and he slept through the night. His mother’s friend told her, “You’ve got a breezy baby.” And the name Breezy has been with him ever since. ■

To obtain empowering advice from Breezy, follow him on LinkedIn, About.me, and on the broadcast network KBCNetwork.net

41

boldfavormagazine.com

One to Watch

THICKMA’DIME aka A. MONIQUE TILLMAN

Who Am I: Attractive and curvy promotional print model Describe Me: African American, 5’6”, 44-3852, Brown hair and eyes, Curvalious!

Goal: To live my dream - to be a model What Else Do I Do? Acting, Media Production Where Else May You Have Seen Me? G-Entertainment Magazine, print ads for Simply Fashions and Legendary Clothing, runway modeling

42

boldfavormagazine.com

What is My Background?

MBA in Finance, BS in Accounting 2007

”I’M PLUS SIZE & CONFIDENT! NO DREAM IS TOO SMALL FOR ME.”

SHARMELA BARR-VAUGHN

Spotlight Sharmela Barr-Vaughn is known as Curvymodelmela.

The 26 year old plus size model is a native of Cincinnati, Ohio, and has been professionally modeling for two years. She has worked with designers in Detroit, Atlanta, Miami, California, Kentucky and Ohio; and has walked in six different fashion shows such as for Glamour Coated Melons, they specialize in hand crafted bras and bowties.

Recently, Sharmela began working with T. Nicole Clothing & Cosmetics, modeling clothing for their online website.

She recently signed a contract with Thick-A-lucious in Atlanta which specializes in fashion for thick women. But she will tell you that getting into the business was not easy.

Two years ago, a designer approached Sharmela about modeling her new line of custom bras. “The designer was a plus size woman, and she knew how hard I had been working to land my first gig.” Of course Sharmela agreed and that is when things took off. “She was honestly the first person who gave me a chance after so many people turned me down because I’m plus size. She gave me the extra boost I needed to get out here and promote myself.”

Sharmela turned up the self-marketing push, setting up her Instagram page and Twitter account. She reached out to out-of-state photographers, designers, magazines,

and boutiques, introducing herself as a plus-size model.

They loved her ambition and drive, and that is when the Curvymodelmela was born!

Sharmela initially got into modeling to show other plus size women that no dream is too small. She believes the media downgrades people of size, and has made it her personal mission to lift up our curvy sisters and brothers.

“I don’t believe you have to be a size 2 to be beautiful. I’m Curvymodelmela! I’m plus size and confident!” Sharmela is very accessible, and considers it an honor that many feel comfortable reaching out to her for encouragement and advice when they feel down about their sizes. “I am here for any [person] needing advice about self confidence and/or self love.”

Lastly, her love for people is as evident in the world as it is at home. When she was 18 years old, finding her place in this world, she adopted a two week-old-baby who is now 8 years old. This holiday season, she told her daughter about the adoption, and instead of being down about it, her daughter insisted on adopting a family for the holidays.

The two are very close, and her daughter is very proud of Shermela’s work. ■

To follow Sharmela aka Curvymodelmela’s journey to educate and empower people with curves; join her on Twitter and Instagram @Curvymodelmela. For booking contact Curvymodelmela@gmail.com 45

boldfavormagazine.com

When Deidra Rowell, CEO of Through My Dreams Production, and Sherri Hill, aka the Olivia Pope of Business, brought their talents and passions together, the birth of a phenomenal movement arose. This monumental movement will shift the atmosphere and society’s views on voluptuous women; being not only beautiful but talented beyond their imagination.

This movement is well overdue!!! The time has come to break down barriers, take a stand and let the world know, “We’re large and in charge and here to stay!!!” Size is only a determination for clothes…not someone’s worth. The collaboration between Deidra and Sherri birth the genesis of this game changing movement; the reality show Full Figured & Satisfied.

Full Figured & Satisfied follows the lives of six dynamic women who are talented in their own right, yet all wear a size over 14. In an era where society is lead by superficial standards, these women refuse to allow a tunnel-vision mentality hold them back from obtaining success and the opportunity to incorporate positive change and acceptance.

Gwendolyn DeVoe, Brittany Hudson, Jessica James, Felicia Leatherwood, Cara Sevier and Zyonesis are the voluptuous cast of Full-Figured & Satisfied. These beautiful and talented women broke the barriers in all walks of their lives and are true examples of how success should never be determined by a person’s size!!!

Gwendolyn DeVoe is the CEO of DeVoe Signature Events and Co-Founder of DeVoe Magazine. She is a former plus model, Creator of Full Figured Fashion Week in New York and the largest plus model runway competition of the east coast, Full Figured & Fabulous.

Miss Northwest Plus USA, Brittany Hudson is a graduate of Southern University in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Brittany is an advocate for diversity in the fashion and entertainment industry and promotes positive body image. With acting

and modeling being her passion, Brittany has been casted on ‘GRIMM’, ‘Leverage’, ‘Librarian’ and Arsenio; as well as modeled for Cooper Union, Push, Lingerie, O’Pearl Jewelry Line and Macy.

Elite Talent Enterprise owner Jessica James is also a well known talent scout for the World Championships of Performing Arts. Jessica is a high fashion plus size model, singer, actress, bass player, radio/tv personality, inspirational speaker and model coach.

Celebrity stylist and inspirational beauty speaker, Felecia Leatherwood, works with high profile acts as Oscar Nominee Viola Davis, Jill Scott, and Terrance Howard to name a few. Felicia’s passion for the restoration and the upkeep of healthy hair has earned her the name, the “Hair Whisperer.”

Cara Sevier is known to many as “The Fashion-MD.” She is the author of the Best Seller, From A Fashionista’s Soul and audio cd, The Three Pillars of Fashion. She is the CEO of the lifestyle company Fashion MD LLC, and is currently working on “Hot Talk Radio Host/Fashion Talk.”

American Trinidadian plus size model, Zyoness had her humble beginnings in front of the camera at the tender age of 9. While constantly dealing with issues of being overweight, Zyoness passion for fashion gave her the opportunity to be different and plus size. She wanted to empower other women to embrace their body and love themselves despite their size and understand the revelation that your curves should define you…not limit you!!! Zyoness has modeled for Beach Bling, Full Figured Week, and served as a live model in a stage play for Plus Positive Summit.

“Full figured beauty has no shame and success knows no limits. These ladies prove that success, beauty, business, and drive can leave one Full Figured and Satisfied.” These extraordinary women are no exception to the rule!! ■

fullfigured & SATISFIED

46

boldfavormagazine.com

Women think more globally using both the analytical side and the creative, sensing and communicative parts of their brains.

Men tend to use more of the left side of the brain focusing more on logic, mechanics and visuals.

Female brains have more white matter which essentially means they have more connections to both sides of the brain which makes them more communicative and emotional, but also allows them to retain more complex information. Women also have a larger memory center.

Talking, for women, is like an orgasm, it releases oxytocin and dopamine (brain chemicals) which causes pleasure, slows down the heart rate and allows them to relate better to others.

Testosterone impedes those effects. Male brains tend to be larger than female brains; however both have the same number of neurons (brain cells). This means that the synapsing distance between the female neurons is shorter so they are better equipped to multi-task.

Ladies, have you ever called your male partner, son, father or brother at work and asked them to pick up bread and milk at the store, the cleaning at the cleaners and the dog at the vet and been disappointed by the outcome?

Here is the problem, he is in ‘work box’, so unless you can get him to move down the hall in his brain to ‘errand box’ so he can compute the message, you are likely to be disappointed when he arrives home without having fulfilled your requests. Guess what, it is as much your fault as his. Here is an option: If you know he will check his emails or a short text before he leaves, send him your errands in that format.

Fellas, when you get home from work, does your wife ask you how your day is, expecting details, and wanting to tell you about her day. Generally you still just want to unwind from your day and are not really ready or interested in a long, anecdotal conversation. Here is an option for you: Tell her you are still decompressing your day but will be happy to speak with her later, say after dinner, over a nice cup of tea or coffee. Then do it and truly listen to her.

There are physiological and neurological reasons why these miscommunications occur. Those differences need to be recognized and understood in order for more effective communication to occur between the different genders.

First of all, male and female brains are wired differently.

Male brains have more grey matter which allows them to focus on their thoughts and tasks, but generally one at a time. Also due to their testosterone cycles, their brains engage and disengage all day long. Therefore their concentration times vary.

49

boldfavormagazine.com

All these issues also impact on male and female communication styles which is why miscommunication often occurs as expectations and styles impede the messaging from happening as intended.

In order to overcome those impediments, both genders must recognize those differences and employ strategies to overcome them when important conversations need to be shared.

Men tend to use more of the left side of the brain so focus more on logic, mechanics and visuals. They tend to have a greater ability to concentrate on one thing at a time by thinking more compartmentally. Men also tend to be more solution oriented to reach the bottom line very directly.

Their versions of situations is usually less verbal. Men are focused on results.

Women, on the other hand, think more globally using both the analytical side and the creative, sensing and communicative parts of their brains. In general they tend to be more anecdotal, nurturing and social in their versions. Women also gravitate toward conversations

about feelings, concern for others and collaborative approaches to solutions…they are more focused on process toward results.

So, if we are going to be able to communicate with influence, impact and clarity with the opposite gender we need to pay attention to those differences and “flex” our style in order to get our points across in a meaningful way so that we can achieve the outcomes we desire.

Here are some ways to do that: Men, you should consider giving more details, listen more rather than jumping in “to fix” the situation immediately.

You should consider asking more questions, spending a bit more time in process, too. In the end, keep your guy friends, as they understand you best!

Women, you should offer the bottom line first, if they want more details, they will ask for them. Also you need to be more direct, hints and “hidden” messages are rarely picked up by your male counterparts. Also you need to watch the tone and pitch of your voice so that you will be listened to more readily. In the end, keep your girl friends as they like to chat about the same things as you do!

Respect the differences, it is what makes us unique!

However, try to understand where the other person is coming from, adjust your style to suit their needs and pick your battles!

If you employ this knowledge you will improve your communication at work and build professional relationships based on understanding, collaboration and trust. ■ Sandy Chernoff

SOFT SKILLS FOR SUCCESS www.softskillsforsuccess.com

50

boldfavormagazine.com

THE ONLY LIMIT THAT EXISTS IS THE ONE THAT LIES WITHIN YOU.

52

boldfavormagazine.com

Fashion is something everyone wants to be great in or master, because if you’re like Kim Kardashian, you`ve completed the fashion statements. My favorite fashion designer is Coco Chanel because she made statements with her clothes. When you wear her clothes, you feel comfortable and stylish because she is the type of person that makes sure her clothes are unique and fun to wear. Fashion is creative, seductive, always changing and a form of art. To some, it is a religion. I use fashion to express myself and also to show my personality, but also to look glamorous. I like the 1920’s style most because that was a time when women were more liberated to wear what they wanted. Their freedom was expressed through simple, yet elegant designs that were beautifully coordinated and accessorized with jewelry. That era was a time of style and elegance.

Coco is a fashion icon because she is known for the lifelong determination, ambition, and energy she applied to her professional and social life. She achieved both success as a business woman and social prominence, thanks to the connections she made through her work. These included many artists and craftspeople to whom she became a patron. She inspires me because she showed the world her passion for fashion and wasn’t afraid of failing. She showed women that they had the freedom of expression through their clothing and that they didn’t need to be limited to the way others thought they should look – One of Chanel’s longest enduring associations was with Misia Sert, a notable member of the Bohemian elite in Paris and wife of Spanish painter José-Maria Sert. It is said that theirs was an immediate bond of like souls, and Misia was attracted to Chanel by “her genius, lethal wit, sarcasm and maniacal destructiveness, which intrigued and appalled everyone”. Both women were convent schooled, and maintained a friendship of shared interests and confidences. They also shared drug use. By 1935, Chanel had become a habitual drug user, injecting herself with morphine on a daily basis, a habit she maintained until the end of her life. According to Chandler Burr’s The Emperor of Scent, Luca Turin related an apocryphal story in circulation that Chanel was called Coco because she threw the most fabulous cocaine parties in Paris.

“Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury”. Her words summed up the brand that has become one of the most popular in the world. With the idea that women’s fashion should be comfortable, Chanel transformed the fashion industry and revolutionized women’s clothing. The designer behind the brand associated with upscale fashion, the little black dress and the iconic Chanel No. 5 perfume came from humble beginnings.

Chanel began designing hats as a hobby, which soon became a deeper interest of hers, “After opening her eyes,” as she would say. This is why Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel is my inspiration. ■ Asia Wheaton

ode to

COCO CHANEL Photo courtesy of Vouge Magazine

In March 2007, my life had finally become what I have dreamed of for myself at the time. I was working at my dream job for about six months making a decent income, had my annual physical and everything seemed awesome, lived in a luxury waterfront apartment, in a great relationship, and was having the time of my life with friends and family on the weekends. Life was good…

Fast forward to the following month, my life turned upside in less than 3 weeks. My “great” relationship disintegrated the first week. The second week I found out that I was going to be laid off from my “dream job” and part of “national reorganization” and was given a 2 week notice.

By the third week, my doctor called me while I was at work to make an appointment for an MRI immediately as they thought I might have a pituitary tumor. Once I hung up the phone I thought, “ Oh my goodness, is this REAL?” I felt like I was in a horror movie or being pranked in some way.

LYNETTE CORREA-VELEZ

A few days later, I asked one of my good friend’s, *Angela, to accompany me to my MRI appointment as I couldn’t go alone and as much I love my Nuyorican mother, I did not want to bring my Mom since she would just make me more nervous. So before I went into the MRI room, I said a little prayer in my mind, and made a “pact” with God and/ or the Universe (what it is that is bigger than me out there).

I asked that “if these results are negative, I promise with all my mind, body, soul, and heart that I would do everything possible as I build my life back together again to empower others, especially young people, in some way, some how.

I HAVE to rise out of this…”

RISING AFTER YOU FALL SIDENOTE: **You see, I grew up in a home where both of my parents at the time were very spiritual (My Dad was a young Preacher and my Mom was the Pastor’s daughter when they first met as teens) and brought my three younger siblings and I to church when we were kids every Sunday. I had a great foundation on what it is to have faith no matter what and that things always happen for a reason whatever reason that may be. *

55

boldfavormagazine.com

Oddly enough, after my appointment my friend asks me how I’m feeling and I tell her “Actually great!” For some reason, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I did not know this at the time but my life was about to change forever…

On my last day at work, as I was packing up my stuff in my office, a life mentor passed by to help me with some items and take me home. I had no idea what was next in my life. I was angry, confused, and most of all, I felt lost. As I thanked my mentor for helping me with a hug, I cried in his arms. But like a soul cry. Like a I-know-my-neighborsin-the-next-building-heard-me-type of cry. I cried not just because of losing my job but because I felt like I had lost my identity. It was awful. As I walked him to the door, wiping my tears, he turned around and said something to me that changed me. He said, “Lynette, things will be okay. YOU will be okay. This is your season of change. You are being transformed…You will see!”. I thanked him again and he left. Unbeknownst to me at the time, his words couldn’t have been truer.

The next few days, weeks, months, and then years were an unbelievable sequence of personal and professional life events that were AMAZING. The following week, I got the call that my MRI results were negative. I knew right then and there since my Higher Power did their part, I had to do mine. But how?

A few days later as I was taking a shower, I saw something.

Not literally but I saw the words “Career Coaching 4 Kidz”.

I hopped out of the shower and wrote the name down.

Then I wrote down the mission, the vision, and what this organization would do for youth. It was extraordinary! I sat down and just smiled. THIS would be it. THIS would be my way of using my life’s purpose to empower others especially young people. I opened up my business card binder and started making calls.

A week later, I received a “random call” from a local staffing agency who somehow got my resume to interview and work temporarily for less than a year at an investment company. I went and interviewed and got hired. HORRAY! This job would help me keep me in my home with basic bills and necessities paid while I built my new mobile, social enterprise start-up, Career Coaching 4 Kidz (CC4Kidz) from the ground-up. The following week, two friends of mine who do not know each other sent me the same information regarding applying for a Certificate in Entrepreneurship Program sponsored by the City of Boston, MA. I applied,

56

boldfavormagazine.com

got a scholarship, and was accepted into the 10 month program. It was extremely difficult juggling school, a fulltime job, volunteering on 2 different non-profit boards, and moonlighting as a Social Entrepreneur but I did it.

Within the past 8 years of building Career Coaching 4 Kidz, with the love and encouragement of my parents, family members, close friends, and handful of mentors, my life turned around 180 degrees. I created jobs, developed over 20 organizational partners (ie. Schools, non-profits that serve youth in any capacity and for-profits that provide paid or unpaid opportunities to youth). With a small team, we empowered over 4,000 8th-12th graders on 21st century career-readiness and professional etiquette skills in groups and individually throughout the Northeast and Chicago, won numerous awards and honors for our work and passion. I was recruited to be a Board of Advisor to a Fortune 500 company (that is famous for making good ol’ chicken noodle soup) through a program called Camp Campbell’s. I met and married the Love of my Life who is my greatest cheerleader and best friend, and we are expecting our first child in the spring. I recently applied and got accepted to attend the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign for my M.Ed. in Human Resource Development. God is good. And I am grateful.

In hindsight, I am thankful to have gone through all the obstacles I went through to get to the type of woman I am today. The type of entrepreneur I am today. To live the life I imagined I could have. There were times where money was so tight, that I literally attended networking events not only to build professional relationships with decision makers but because the appetizers were my dinner for the night as I did not have enough food at home to eat and I could carpool with an associate to take me home as I did not have enough money to take a cab nor train home.

Entrepreneurship gave me access to individuals that I otherwise wouldn’t have had access to as an employee at a company. It gave me the confidence to be a women business owner and give a voice to the voiceless at board meetings (as I was usually the only woman or Latina entrepreneur in the room in many spaces).

Being a certified Career Coach, I now co-assist youth (Career Coaching 4 Kidz) AND adults (Chameleon Career Coaching) to think of the amazing possibilities that life can bring if they are walking in their purpose and co-create a career path that is meaningful to them in their lives.

Empowering others is my life’s purpose. What’s yours? ■ *name was changed for privacy reasons

“

Lynette, things will be okay.

YOU will be okay.

This is your season of change.

You are being transformed…

You will see!

57

boldfavormagazine.com

”

Zora

Breakout Author, Banke Awopetu-McCollough shares intimate details of her first book, Always Want More, an urban novel whose subtle - and sometimes in-your-face calls to social action - signal the rebirth of the greatness of the Harlem Renaissance. And her majesty Zora Neale Hurston would be proud to know her crown has found a worthy heir.

Rising 59

boldfavormagazine.com

Editor-in-Chief Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell read Always Want More over the Thanksgiving holidays and was so impacted by the characters that she called Ms. Awopetu-McCollough to dish for over an hour. With permission, the conversation is shared here. Be warned: there are some spoilers, but do not let that stop you from picking it up - there is truly “more” waiting for you!

LMB: We start off with a very fast paced 29 pages, with two years of Tracy’s life being covered. It was like boom! Lightning. She’s graduated from college, moved to New York... and even though she’s living the dream, it felt like there was something surreal, artificial about it. Why did you give readers so much so early?

BAM: I needed to hook readers and instantly transport them. We start off in the middle of Tracy’s dream and grind. It’s important for readers to be introduced to her like that, so they understand her actions throughout the novel. Plus, the first chapter is nostalgic. Hopefully, readers are reminded of their own early dreams and tap back into that potential and promise.

LMB: I sense a distance between Tracy and her family. What is the source of this distance?

BAM: Well, Tracy is a first generation Guyanese-American. Her ethnic background is a part of the otherness she experiences throughout the novel. Her parents, immigrants, can’t understand certain aspects of her existence. And as a daughter of immigrants, there’s a certain ambition that distinguishes her from Americans. In the first chapter, we learn that Tracy’s parents were devoted to giving her a better life. The problem is they tried to define that better life for her. So there’s a certain rebellion and resentment in Tracy.

LMB: I was very surprised that Tracy ended up pledging a Black Greek Letter Organization. Was that a form of rebellion?

BAM: No. Tracy has an affinity for Black history and culture. She wanted to go to Howard, but instead went to the University of Pennsylvania to appease her parents. So it only makes sense in that traditionally white space that she would go looking for authentically Black experiences.

LMB: Her being in a sorority didn’t come up until she moved back to Rochester. I thought it was interesting that she didn’t make time for the sorority while in New York City.

BAM: She didn’t make time for anything other than hip-hop and writing in New York City. Rochester’s slower pace allowed her to get back to her roots of church, service and community.

LMB: The book covers the world of hip-hop well. I thought it was interesting who the two men were that she spent time with-- Tragic (fictional) and Common. What should readers take away from that juxtaposition?

BAM: Both of those characters serve similar and different purposes. Her encounter with Common was the first time that we see her seriously interested in a man. It’s after that experience, that she realizes she wants love. With Tragic, there was no romantic feelings, but she felt

an instant kinship with him. In both cases, we see Tracy hurt and rejected.

LMB: She doesn’t write about her true thoughts regarding hip-hop until the encounter with Tragic. Are you trying to show us that in most things in life, it’s not until we are personally impacted that we wake up and do something?

BAM: I think Tracy wasn’t clear about her true thoughts on hip-hop until the encounter with Tragic. Sure, she had certain feelings, but none of them were confirmed until that Tragic encounter. (He’s aptly named by the way). His interview was the substantiated proof that she needed to publish such a story.

LMB: In the classroom, we see Tracy’s reactions to the students and her wanting to be firm without being heavy handed. How did you create those scenes?

BAM: I drew on my own personal experiences. Always Want More was released in 2014, but I began writing it in 2007. I was still a new teacher

Always Want More is available on Amazon.com. You may contact Ms. Awopetu-McCollough at BankeTheAuthor@gmail.com.

60

boldfavormagazine.com

and still struggling to find my place in the classroom. I knew I had to establish my authority, but I was also wise enough to play to my strengths, which included my youth and ability to connect to the students. We see these same things in Tracy.

level and be thoroughly entertained.

You can read it to a deeper level and have an understanding of the characters and their choices. Even still, you can read it deeper and start to question your own choices. That of course is my ultimate goal.

LMB: So she meets Jason and he seems decent enough, but she has no idea that he’s married. I think that’s a reflection of how this generation dates. Who is doing the vetting? Why aren’t certain questions being asked?

LMB: Tracy is 26 years old and never had an oops moment with birth control before, yet forgets to take her pills for an extended period with X. Deep down, did she want to have a baby with him, signaling an acceptance of her life with him, yet leaving herself some wiggle room from taking full responsibility for that decision?

BAM: Yeah, it’s more so a reflection of how Tracy dated. She’s a man eater.

LMB: Tracy and X’s relationship reflects millennial relationships. You did an amazing job with those love scenes. So detailed, there were parts that I had to reread, like whoa! So on one hand, Tracy and X are extremely sensual and sexual. On the other hand, their encounters are extremely violent, animistic. When did they ever get to know each other, have a conversation about anything of substance?

BAM: What we see between Tracy and X is an instant electric attraction. They’re both loners who hold a perspective on the world that most people around them do not. They saw that in each other.

Before they were intimate, there were conversations filled with a said and unsaid understanding.

LMB: Let me know if I’m reading too much into it, but it seems to me that the scene where she’s covered in blood represents her rebirthing, like it’s that final contraction to push her new self out.

BAM: I think you’re reading that perfectly. There’s a lot of subtle symbolism throughout Always Want More. You could read it at the surface 61

boldfavormagazine.com

BAM: I’m not sure. There’s still a lot about the novel and characters that I don’t have a clear understanding of. I had an objective when writing Always Want More, but I also didn’t.

Does that make sense? I kinda let the characters do what they would. Tracy was never in a serious relationship before. Plus, her slip happened during a period of deep grief. I’m not sure if it was subconsciously intentional or not.

LMB: Tracy figured out Thalia’s deception, yet did not tell X. Did she do it to protect her friend or to protect the remaining parts of her humanity and decency (i.e., she didn’t want to be directly responsible for Thalia’s death)?

BAM: That’s a great question. I think she kept Thalia’s secret for both of those reasons. She probably understood Thalia’s reasoning as well, having been looking for love and rejected herself.

LMB: Tracy did not tell X about the deal she made with Lydia (exchange sex for discount on product), yet told him about her part in setting up the detective. Does she suspect that he’d view her differently (not so unique and apart from other women he’d known) if he knew what transpired? Or does he know and they agreed without words never to discuss it, like the myriad of unspoken conversations committed couples have every day?

BAM: Another great question. I don’t really know the answer. X said, “she must love you.” We can read that as him knowing what transpired or we can read it as his own naiveté. I think I like the latter better. Yeah, let’s go with that. ■

Book Review

★★★★★

GETTING SCREWED: Sex Workers and the Law

Imagine this; a serial killer who has murdered dozens of women is on the loose in a large American city. People know his name and even where he lives, but they don’t go to police. Why not? Because the killer’s victims are streetwalking prostitutes and all of the people who know what’s happening work in the sex trade industry, which means going to the police means risking going to prison.

Sound far-fetched? Unfortunately, it isn’t. Gary Ridgeway, the infamous Green River killer, who claimed the lives at least 48 women, was allowed to get away with his crimes for years even though a number of Seattle residents knew exactly what he’d done. But since their livelihoods were earned on the wrong side of the law, there was little they could do to alert authorities without risking serious consequences.

Then there’s the case of a woman earning her living by running an illegal New York City brothel, who went to authorities when two young Russian sex workers she knew told her they’d been entrapped by traffickers who’d brought them to the US as “nannies.” Her reward was to become the target of an investigation by the FBI and, eventually, to be charged with prostitution related crimes.

According to Alison Bass, journalist, professor and author of Getting Screwed: Sex Workers and the Law, occurrences like these are the number one argument in favor of decriminalizing the sex trade. For as long as sex workers and their customers are kept in the crosshairs of the criminal justice system, you can be sure that whatever wrongdoing they witness or hear about through their networks will never find its way to people who can bring the perpetrators to justice.

62

boldfavormagazine.com

Of course, fighting sex traffickers and violent criminals is not the only reason Bass favors’ decriminalization.

She also cites research indicating that “…counties with the most restrictive laws against prostitution (such as the United States and many countries in Southeast Asia) have the greatest violence against sex workers and other women, while countries with the least restrictive legal systems (such as the Netherlands and Germany) have the least violence.” Moreover, as Bass points out, “during the period when Rhode Island unintentionally decriminalized indoor prostitution, the state saw a steep decline in reported rapes and cases of gonorrhea.”

Bass is very clear that forcing people into sex work against their will, particularly those who are underage, is a reprehensible crime. The kind of sex work Bass believes should be decriminalized is the consensual variety.

Unfortunately, this distinction in itself sits uncomfortably with a lot of people who consider the very term ‘consensual sex work’ to be an oxymoron. After all, who with the freedom to choose could ever truly consent to being used in that way? Lots of women (and some men), argues Bass, who explains that the vast majority of sex workers in the US entered the trade as adults by their own choice and (surprisingly) that indoor sex workers generally report increased self-esteem and career satisfaction after entering the sex trade. She believes that the conflation by authorities and society at large of consensual sex work

with human trafficking is one of the greatest obstacles to fighting genuine cases of forced prostitution, partially for the reasons discussed earlier, and partially because such a conflation clouds the issues for researchers, law enforcement and the courts alike.

the study (about 300,000) referred to children at risk of being trafficked, not the number of children who actually enter the sex trade, which is much, much lower. Bass argues that this kind of misrepresentation is fundamentally dishonest and extremely unhelpful in the fight against forced prostitution, a fight she believes all decent people can and should get behind.

“....forcing people into sex work against their will, particularly those who are underage, is a reprehensible crime.”

The author is aware that these ideas fly in the face of popular and politically convenient narratives about the sex trade, but Bass doesn’t pull her punches. Asserting that “anti-trafficking groups have spread grossly inaccurate and inflated statistics about the number of women and children being trafficked for paid sex in the United States,” Bass cites a statistic put out by the leader of a prominent anti-trafficking group that 250,000 to 500,000 children are trafficked into the sex trade every year in the US. But even the author of the study on which this claim is made states that the key number in

To say the least, Bass’ ideas are controversial. There are many who feel that decriminalization of the sex trade legitimizes the exploitation of women. Some view the sex trade as so repugnant that it deserves to be criminalized on principle alone. Believe me, I get it, and so does Alison Bass, but whatever your views about the sex trade, if you truly care about human dignity, violence against women and the problem of human trafficking, this book is a must-read. ■ Alison Bass

Contrary to the number of reports lately regarding teachers leaving the field of education, there are those who not only remain, but remain beyond the time in which they are eligible to retire.

Contrary to the number of reports lately regarding teachers leaving the field of education, there are those who not only remain, but remain beyond the time in which they are eligible to retire. Although they are not abundant in number, these unicorns do exist. In the days of excessive assessment and accountability, stagnant salaries, endless paperwork, and not to mention, the occasional deadly school tragedies, what is it that compels some veteran educators to not only remain in the profession the required years of completion for retirement, but to remain beyond their date of eligibility? There are so many reasons why teachers are leaving, but why are they staying? We can safely say it’s not the salaries, the bureaucratic appreciation, nor the lofty bonuses during the holiday season. However, while each person’s motivation for writing lesson plans just a little while longer is different, the one reason that is consistent is the students.

Educators wear a multitude of hats. They are teachers, parents, and counselors, just to name a few; the children become an extension of their families and it’s difficult to walk away from those that need you. For many teachers, they serve as one of the few positive influences in some of their students’ lives. For others, walking into the classroom each day is just as rewarding for them as it is for their students because of the sheer joy they experience. Elizabeth Jones, who is in her 37th year of teaching, says she continues to teach beyond retirement because “I still believe I make a difference…students need seasoned examples of success…young teachers need visuals of consistency and work ethics.” Jones returned to teaching part-time after retirement and shares stories of new and exciting lessons she teaches; providing students with both academic and personal assistance; and of her students meeting her at the door, and sometimes even at her car when she arrives for her midday class, because they are so eager for her arrival.

THE NEW

EDUCATION QUANDARY However, there’s another group of educators who are seldom acknowledged, these are the teachers who enter education as a second career. These individuals see the need for great teachers and role models, and are compelled to make a difference despite the sometimes dark cloud looming over the field of education. “Though lucrative, the practice of law was not a very rewarding career. To have a career where I look forward to coming to work to meet new challenges daily, while making a real difference in the lives of our youth is, for me, the brass ring,” says Merck Smith, math teacher, who transitioned into education from the legal field three years ago. Jones and Smith offer testimonies that are not often heard, they are the songs that keep education going.

65

boldfavormagazine.com

While many are running away, others are standing steadfast or being magnetically pulled towards the field of education. As we all hold our breath in the midst of school shootings and domestic terrorism, teachers continue to educate amongst insurmountable paperwork, unreasonable expectations, and ineffective student discipline, all while shining as beacons of light in education.

Their light will illuminate paths that will prepare students to flourish in careers that prevent and punish for school shootings, combat terrorism and make our world a better place to live. Our career educators and second-career educators are priceless as are all teachers, however, without a change in policies and procedures they too will be dying breeds. ■

boldfavormagazine.com

65

I apologize for not being prettier, smarter, taller, hair longer, hips wider, lips fuller

I apologize for thinking too hard, questioning too much, not looking the other way nor just letting things go…

Not shutting my mouth, closing my eyes, covering my ears and going with the flow

I apologize for being too kind, too trusting, too optimistic, too hopeful I apologize for not being deceitful, cunning, lying till I’m blue…

Blue-‐faced, two-‐faced telling tales that were untrue as did you

I’m sorry you confused me, abused and used me Used the light in me, bright in me to extinguish your dark, ignite your inner spark I really am sorry for the sorrowful nights of long I spent pondering was it something I did or said, what went wrong?

Please forgive me for I can’t shake it, can’t run away from it

So sorry I want us to somehow make it Blindly I run to you, behind you although I clearly see through you...

I still believe in you

I apologize for holding my heart captive, unable to set this love free Free of the hope that you and me

Dana Lynn

Can once again be us, be we… I APOLOGIZE

We Are Seeking Corporate Sponsors To Provide Reading Development Scholarships to Pontiac Students!

Join Us In Improving the Reading Skills of 100 Pontiac Elementary or Middle School Students!

Who We Are: Access Educational Management Corp.

(91 N. Saginaw, Room 207) is an approved provider of educational services that is authorized by the Michigan Department of Education. We provide learning development for educators and students in Michigan’s failing schools, and we specialize in reading and writing development. We are expert educators with significant successful experience in stimulating learning among students that exceeds the typical improvements students make, and we have joined the Pontiac business and school community to assist in the task of developing the city’s students.

A NEW TUTORING CENTER IN PONTIAC INVITES CORPORATIONS TO GIVE PONTIAC STUDENTS A GIFT OF READING ☛

SPONSORS WILL RECEIVE

☛

Student Written Biography & Goal Setting Report Pre-Assessment Status Post Assessment Status Reports End of Program Attendance & Pre-Post Progress Reports Certificate of Participation Identifying Your Student Satisfaction That a Student Is Benefitting from Your Generosity Satisfaction That You Contributed To the Development of A More Literate Pontiac

Our Challenge: Michigan academic standards require students to have competence in English language arts. Typically, urban schools struggle to build literacy foundations among students who demonstrate high needs and need expert assistance to stimulate and accelerate students’ skills. We want to influence the learning and reading competence of 100 Pontiac students in grades K-8 as a way to support the goals of the local school system. We want to demonstrate that the application of research and English language arts development leads to increased student achievement on local and state assessments in statistically significant results.

Corporate Sponsors Sought to Cover Cost of Tutoring Program for Children in Pontiac • 50 Hours of High Quality Research-Based Tutoring: Fees: $1800 • Small Group Learning Environment: Reciprocal Teaching Instruction Study Skills Inserted in Learning • Weekly Meetings Tailored to Family’s Schedule • Highly Qualified Academic Tutors • Integration of Blended Learning Model: Technology & Human Instruction

AccessReaders@gmail.com • www.Access-Edu.net • 248-481-7375

Size two, size four, petite, skinny; that is what Vogue Italia, Cozmo and other top fashion magazines tells the world is beautiful. Healthy.

Sexy. The public, consumer, sees the beauty of the world and they range in size from a healthy skinny to plus size and beyond. Most of these women of various colors and shades are voluptuous, confident, shapely and bold.

We see young women who are confident in their body, who aspire to be like and happy to see the poetic singers Marsha Ambrosius & Jill Scott showing there curves accented by their beauty. Actresses like Amber Riley and Sara Ramirez rocking sexy attire on the big screen or relax fit in a magazine. Aspiring actresses can see Queen Latifah rocking the mic as well as rocking cover girl cosmetics or Monique winning the Oscar and representing for the F.A.T. (Fabulous And Thick) .gorgeous model like Justine LeGault, being sexy and powerful on the cover of Elle Quebec or the voluptuous Michelle Hilton curvaceously stretched across the pages of any magazine that is showing beauty, curve appeal and latest trends. They want to see rising stars in the business word like Gabrielle Johnson in the pages of magazines, showing their brain and beauty while rocking the latest fashions. The college graduate who aspires to be on top of the world needs to see moguls like Shonda Rhimes and Oprah Winfrey looking awesome and chic on the Red Carpet, doing interviews and/or on the cover of their own magazines.

It’s a Bold new world and fashion magazines and the media covering the fashion industry, you have been put on alert to show the beauty of your audience and the world. That is our Bold favor to you. ■David M. Good

SIZE

A Kustom Glamorous Life

When Sheila E. wrote the “Glamorous Life” in the 80’s, she must have had La’Rhonda Williams in mind. The song describes a woman who has it all - looks, style, money, career; but wants more - love. And La’Rhonda has all the trappings of the ‘Glamorous Life’ including love - love of a supportive family, career and community.

It is the combined love of all of these things that led to the birth of her business, Kustom Events.

A native of Birmingham Alabama, La’Rhonda was born into a loving family dedicated to hard work and serving the community. She and her sister Erica stayed busy with family and church functions, as well as their social and community events. Their attendance as supporters eventually turned into helping to set up and break down events, then to bringing in food that their mother, “Ms. Lady,” prepared. La’Rhonda loved to decorate, and after her and her husband Quatez married, she continued to do so, creating over-thetop themes that WOW’d hostesses... but began to take a toll on the young family’s finances. “My husband would say, ‘Babe, you’re messing up our fun money!” I never charged for the decorations because it was just something that I loved to do. It never occurred to me to turn it into a business, but my husband encouraged me.”

About the same time, the couple attended a New Year’s Eve Prayer Service lead by their pastor, Bishop Stephen A. Davis, and the topic was entrepreneurship and pushing each one into their destiny. He told them that God was calling them to do something big with their gifts. La’Rhonda does not believe in coincidence; she viewed the timing of Quatez, family and friends’ encouragement and Bishop Davis prophetic message as signs from the Lord, and the couple got to work planning. When they shared their initial ideas with La’Rhonda’s sister Erica, she put administrative procedures in place - business plan, price list and book keeping systems were first on the list. With all this support, La’Rhonda was able to allow her creativity to run wild.

She even had uncles, Saint John Bender and Terry Bender, who 71

boldfavormagazine.com

would send her product ideas, websites to learn from and information to understand legalities of business.

Her services were in such demand, what began as an occasional weekend event became two to four events on both Saturday and Sunday every weekend. Quatez saw that he would need to get more involved in the business.

He now helps create the decorations and desserts, in addition to his duties of packing the vehicle, driving to the venues, and helping setup and break down.

Kustom Event is truly a family affair: The young couple bundles up their small children - 7 and 10, and intertwine school, choir, football, church and other activities into their daily lives. They would not have it any other way.

La’Rhonda said, “I love the way the kids look at me, like they’re proud of me and my work.” La’Rhonda shared a story of how she catered a party at her son’s school one day, and he told the entire school, “That’s MY momma!

She did that!” La’Rhonda loves that the children are learning good business skills so early in their lives: hard work, commitment to detail and excellence.

Kustom is exactly what the name says: unique, beautiful, incredibly creative event planning, customized desserts and decor. The company does parties, tailgates, showers, and religious events; they are looking to move into weddings soon. “I love what I do; it’s so inspiring.

People pull things out of me. I had no idea I could do what I do. I’ve made owls out of candied apples...I can do anything!” Their Platinum Spread is their signature service: decadent desserts and glitzy decor created to the client’s desire - truly custom. Kustom Events has expanded to full-scale catering and will do “staple foods” as well as the exotic and unique. Although headquartered in Birmingham, they travel wherever they are called and needed.

72

boldfavormagazine.com

Your Wish is Our Command To learn more about Kustom Events, follow them on Instagram or Facebook @KustomEvent; contact them at 205-837-7924 or KustomEventInquiries@Gmail.com

www.KustomEvent.com

For press or speaking inquires please email info@zandrabeauty.com

1 (855) 5 ZANDRA

zandra beauty

zandra beauty

Info @ zandra beauty .com

ZANDRA has its own distribution site with products available for purchase online and at local artisan shops.

255 Great Arrow Avenue - Suite 225 - Buffalo, NY 14207

www.zandrabeauty.com

Friday, December 9th The Georgia Budget & Policy Institute (GBPI) held a Pumps, Pearls and Progress Power Luncheon to introduce the new Executive Director, Taifa Smith Butler. Held at the Ansley Park home of retired State Representative, Kathy Ashe, guests included the GBPI board (on which Ashe serves as a member), several state and local politicians, community activists, judges, non-profit leaders and professionals.

Ms. Butler has been with the GBPI four years, serving in several roles before promotion to Executive Director. She has a diverse background in strategic communications and public policy, and earned her Master’s degree from the Heinz School of Public Policy and Management at Carnegie Mellon University.

The GBPI is a non-profit, non-partisan organization that analyzes Georgia’s budget and tax policies for the purpose of educating stakeholders and influencing legislation to strengthen the state’s economic and social foundation. As the new Executive Director, Ms. Butler gave a passionate address of her vision for the organization that included holding Georgia lawmakers responsible for the decisions they make. She was specifically focused on education, child welfare, and economic opportunity, her message was warmly received by the electric crowd in attendance.

If you would like to learn more about the GBPI and its work to influence responsible economic and social growth policies in the state of Georgia.

www.GBPI.org

H ir e

Does your LOVE life need healing?

Tinzley Bradford

the “love mama” i offer group and one on one sessions. learn how to: Attract the right man Boost Your Dating Confidence Find out Why You’re still Single Work on self-love Find out why the guys you meet aren’t interested in you.

are you trying to recover from a devastating breakup? have you been cheated on and now you have trust issues? tired of being mistreated in dead end relationships? feel like you’re stuck in a bad realtionship and don’t know how to get your life back? need to learn how to stop settling for any old behavior?

Yay! You’re in the right place? I can show you how to elinimate the crap from the dating process!

mention this ad and recieve $20 off your first coaching session!

visit my website for more www.tinzleybradford.com tinzley@tinzleybradford.tv or call us at 770.572.4239

Visit Tinzley at www.menwomendatingfromtinzley.com FaceBook@MenWomenAndDating • Twitter @tinzleyb IG @tinzleyb • Periscope @tinzley

Hello everyone, it’s ‘The Love Mama’ is back with another article just for you. Today’s column is pretty interesting because this guy was clearly not a good match for this amazing woman, yet she was still questioning whether or not she should take him back. I’m often blown away at some of the emails I get from my readers. This one in particular screams insecure and playing mama. Ladies I’m pretty understanding when it comes to helping people get on their feet but I could not believe what happened to this very loyal, loving and caring woman after all she did for this guy. Check out today’s post and remember, NEVER settle for less than you deserve!

Tinzley Bradford: The Love Mama!

Hello,

Dear Sad and Single,

I found you on YouTube and wanted to know your thoughts on this situation:

Let me start by saying, you are NOT his mama, his hotel, his restaurant or his care giver. You deserve a man who, the moment he saw what kind of loving, giving, and caring woman you are, would have gone to great measures to work EXTRA hard to get his own place for not only himself, but for eventually you to move in as well. I think he’s a coward for running off the moment you confronted him and encouraged him to grow up and get his own stuff! Kind of makes me wonder if his plan is to live with his mother until a woman like yourself, comes along and moves him in.

I am 54 years old, and about 2 years ago I met a man who is a bit older but had no job, no car, living with his mother. He was a neighbor so he would stop by to see if there was anything that needed to be done around the house (which of course there was)!He professed genuine affection and we began a relationship.

In the last 2 years, he has made great strides in getting a job, driver’s license, even a clunker of a car. I can honestly say that he was the best man that I have EVER had, but sadly I would get tired of having him at my house every day and felt that he needed to get his own place for our relationship to continue. He wanted to move in with me, and I think this led to our demise.

I am sad today because he has moved on to another lady who will benefit from me taking the time to build him up.

One side issue to note is that I am more plays, museums, arts, fine dining, traveling, etc. He was more backyard bbq, sit around playing dominoes kinda guy. I’m not sure that our lifestyles ever connected. I’m really heartbroken though, because he IS a good man!

Looks like he’s NOT planning on getting his own place anytime soon.

You should never settle for less and you should be thanking God that he left, because while he may have appeared to be a good man, in my opinion he used you to get what he could while he could and when you began to demand more of what you deserve from a man, he dipped on to the next woman willing to baby him. I’m proud that you let him go and guess what.... Now you can make room for when the RIGHT person, who is not afraid to be a man, comes along for you!

You are more than backyard bbq’s sweetly! Let him go! And don’t you allow him back in because he has already shown you who he really is! Tell that joker, NEXT!!

Hope this was helpful!

Signed, Tinzley ‘The Love Mama”

Signed, Sad and Single So what would you have done in a situation like this? Would you be still chasing this guy or once he showed his true colors, would you have let him go? For some reason or another, this guy is looking for women he can shack up with and do the bare minimum for a payment. Saw how fast he moved on and moved in with the next woman who was ready to baby him? Let’s not settle for this! Tell him, NEXT!! ■ 77

boldfavormagazine.com