Born To Ride #240 - May 2024

BORN TO RIDE

PUBLISHER

Ron Galletti

813-785-3895 rg@borntoride.com

CO-PUBLISHER

Deb Galletti dgalletti@borntoride.com

EDITOR

Steve Poindexter info@borntoride.com

ART DIRECTOR

Peter Soutullo art@borntoride.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Erick Runyon

ART DEPARTMENT

Erick Runyon , Peter Soutullo, Craig Miller art@borntoride.com

OFFICE

ADMINISTRATION

Deb Galletti DGalletti@borntoride.com

SALES & MARKETING

813-785-3895

ROAD CREW

Vick Velosity, Mark Crowder, Doug Bright, Birdman Mike,

SCENIC RIDE

CONSULTANT

Steve Finzelber-Finz Finds ON THE ROAD TEAM

John & Heather

CONTRIBUTORS

JP Brady, Neale Bayly, Susan Hurst, Spyke & Mike, Eric Albright, Paul Murray, James Gladstone, Scott Odell Indian Rider Bill. The Phantom

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Ron & Selena Hawks, Doug Bright

Daniel Gallant, Scott Odel, Eric Albright, Chopper Dave, JP Brady, Erick Runyon, Craig Miller

Vic Lawall

LAW FIRM

FRAN HAASCH LAW GROUP

www.LawFran.com 866 LAW Fran

TEAM BUILDING RIDE

BAY HARLEY-DAVIDSON

TAMPA

This month I met with the St Pete Yacht Club Riders group to plan our trip to the smokey mountains. We are planning to travel numerous routes through Western North Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia and South Carolina.

It dawned on me that planning a motorcycle trip and planning for retirement may seem like vastly different processes, given their nature and objectives. However, both activities share some commonalities in terms of the need for careful planning, foresight, and consideration of various factors to ensure a successful outcome.

My article this month will explore the similarities and differences between planning a motorcycle trip and planning for retirement.

PLANNING PROCESS:

1. Setting Goals:

Motorcycle Trip: When planning a motorcycle trip, individuals typically set goals related to their destination, route, duration of the trip, and places of interest they wish to visit along the way.

Retirement: Planning for retirement involves setting financial goals, determining retirement age, estimating retirement expenses, and

A Biker Helping Bikers

JAMES IRWIN

LET’S AVOID EVER HAVING TO SAY

“I WISH I KNEW BACK THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW”

deciding on the desired lifestyle postretirement.

2. Budgeting and Financial Considerations:

Motorcycle Trip: Budgeting for a motorcycle trip includes costs such as fuel, accommodations, food, maintenance, and emergency funds.

Retirement: Financial planning for retirement encompasses saving for retirement, investing wisely, managing debt, creating a retirement budget, and ensuring one has sufficient income during retirement years.

3. Risk Management:

Motorcycle Trip: Riders need to consider risks such as accidents, breakdowns, adverse weather conditions, and health emergencies during the trip.

Retirement: Planning for retirement requires assessing risks like market fluctuations, inflation, health care expenses, and longevity risk that could impact one’s financial security in retirement.

4. Time Horizon and Flexibility:

Motorcycle Trip: The time horizon for planning a motorcycle trip is relatively shortterm and flexible, allowing for adjustments in the itinerary based on preferences and changing circumstances.

Retirement: Retirement planning involves a long-term perspective with a fixed target retirement age, necessitating consistent saving and investment strategies to achieve financial independence post-retirement.

5. Enjoyment and Fulfillment:

Motorcycle Trip: Planning a motorcycle trip focuses on enjoyment, exploration, adventure, and creating lasting memories

Retirement: Planning for retirement aims to ensure a secure and fulfilling post-work life with opportunities for leisure, hobbies, travel, and pursuing personal interests.

CONCLUSION:

In conclusion, while planning a motorcycle trip and planning for retirement serve different purposes, they both require careful consideration, foresight, and strategic decision-making. Both processes involve setting goals, budgeting, managing risks, and ensuring a fulfilling experience or future. By applying similar planning principles to these seemingly different activities, individuals can enhance their preparedness, mitigate potential challenges, and ultimately achieve successful outcomes in their motorcycle trips and retirement planning endeavors.

It’s never too late to start planning for retirement. Please remember there is not a one size fits all or paint by the numbers solution. All of our situations are unique. You don’t need more money, you just need a better plan. After having the privilege to serve tens of thousands of people over the years I can attest to the statement “That money won’t make you happy. But riding a motorcycle will!”

My passion is to help bikers in life changing ways. Hence the reason I created Bikers Helping Bikers.

—James Irwin, CSA, FRCSM Certified Senior Advisor® www.bikerhelpingbikers.com

105 THE DAY ROAD OF BONES EXPEDITION 16,500 Mile

If you say, “I strangled Alice” fast enough that’s how you pronounce the name of this town, spelled Ystradgynlais explained Dakar legend Simon Pavey. We had gathered in Wales, UK, at the world-renowned Off Road Skills rider-training center to participate in a course especially designed by Simon for the upcoming Road of Bones expedition 13 riders & 1 Co-rider were about to embark on a journey of a lifetime.

Today is the day that the 14 riders and support vehicle depart from London’s Ace Café heading 28,500 Kilometers East with final destination Magadan, Eastern Russia. Along the way they will pass through 16 countries, ride through all weather conditions and experience some of the best adventure motorcycling in the world.

In 2005 four riders gathered in London to begin a four month ride across Siberia; unknown to us this ride would change the course of our lives.

We were riding for our friend, our mate, Kathy McLean who suffered from the very rare Freidreichs Ataxia disease, we formed a charity along with “Kath” held fund raising events from Rio de Janeiro to London and Sydney and proceeded to ride halfway around the world raising money and awareness as we went.

Once the journey was complete the fundraising for our tiny charity stopped so after two years of deliberating Compass Expeditions was formed and continue to donate to Freidreichs Ataxia Network today; sadly but expectedly Kathy died in 2013, a fighter to the end.

Starting with five BMW F 650 GS Twins and a worn out Toyota Troopcarrier offering five short tours of South America, Compass Expeditions has gone on to become one of the world’s leading motorcycle tour companies with over 35 bikes from the entire GS range five support vehicles and over 30 tours on every continent, (excepting Antarctica), and a rental fleet in Australia, all in nine years!

Each year we are lucky enough to have Charley Boorman lead a tour for us in Australia and have Simon Pavey run an off road skills course followed by a tour also in Australia.

Joining us for this Road of Bones Expedition were Walt & Pam USA, (BMW R1200GSA), Robert USA, (Suzuki DR 650), Bayne Canada, (BMW F800), Eric

Canada (BMW F800 GS), Brian Zimbabwe, (R1200 GS), Ray Australia, (Suzuki DR 650), Andrew Australia, (BMW R1200 GS), Jane Australia (BMW F650 GS), Leanne Australia, (BMW F650 GS), Tim Australia, (BMW F800 GS), John Australia, (BMW R1200 GSA) & Geoff Australia (Triumph Tiger XC800). After two years of planning we were about to depart on the 105 day Road of Bones expedition that would take the riders, from the UK, to France, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Turkey, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Mongolia and Russia.

With the Off Road Skills training complete the team enjoyed a superb breakfast at the legendary bikes hangout the Ace Café in London before crossing the tunnel into

Europe.

Mission statement: To provide riders with that elusive “life changing experience of a lifetime”

We made quick time across Europe but not before riding through spectacular vineyards of the Rhine Valley and amongst castles scenically along the Rhine River and visiting the amazing Neuschwanstien castle created by the mad Bavarian king, Ludwig II before experiencing what is widely regarded as one of the finest passes in Europe, the immense Grossglockner. The Hungarian capital of Budapest, wonderfully located on the Danube, stunning Romania of Count Dracula fame and the Black Sea resort island of Nessebar, Bulgaria were visited before we reached the Turkish border. Thirty Turkish bikers

had ridden seven hours to greet us at the border and escort the group into Istanbul. By the time we reached this amazing vibrant and historical city we were already down one bike as Brian’s BMW R 1200 suffered a big end failure and his trip was over, on the 1200 at least, Brian became our spare rider and only had three days “off” a bike for the entire expedition. We crossed the amazing country of Turkey, slept in caves converted to hotels and marveled at the Ottoman houses that hung precariously over raging rivers. Riding towards Georgia in the Turkish far northeast was biking nirvana as we rode amongst tea plantations that clung tenaciously to steep hillsides and through vast canyon lands on empty roads that followed the course of lonely rivers.

Georgia proved to be a revelation but we weren’t to make it any further than the capital Tbilisi. News had come through that the only border open with Russia had been closed due to a deadly landslide that killed eight truckers. Our itinerary had been thrown into chaos and a new plan hastily hatched which involved riding back to Europe after every conceivable alternate plan had been considered. Returning to the Georgian–Turkish border on our way back to Europe a border guard asked, “Where are you going,” “Russia eventually” we replied, “why not cross at the Georgian–Russia border”? He asked perplexed, incredibly the border had reopened the day we were leaving Georgia to go back into Turkey, another U-turn and rewriting of the itinerary ensued as we

“We moved on, in more wet weather visiting Bran Castle, reputedly Dracula’s castle, but of course it isn’t and it is in question whether the man ever spent a night there but Romanian tourism wont let the facts get in the way of a good story.”

rode hastily back for the Georgian border with Russia.

We rode the legendary Georgian Military Highway a pass of staggering beauty and amazing history with poet’s writers and armies all travelling this road. The highway winds deep into the Caucasus passing turquoise lakes and numerous monasteries in stunning locations, switchback after switchback greeted the riders as we rode beyond the green fertile valleys into a stark beautiful landscape high above the snowline.

At last we reached Russia but they were far from happy to see us and it took eight hours for us to cross the border, with representatives from the local Rotary club waiting a staggering twelve hours to greet us!

The Rotary Club organized a somber visit to Beslan, scene of the horrific massacre of over 300 people, nearly 200 of them children in 2004, before we rode east into Russia proper.

It wasn’t long before we were leaving Russia to cross the mighty Kazakh Steppe as we turned south toward Uzbekistan. Camping out on the immense steppe was an incredible experience as the riders were surrounded by a vastness and silence that was long thought to have disappeared in this world.

We entered the storybook lands of the fabled Silk Road in Uzbekistan skirting the Kyzyl Kum Desert as we rode into Samarkand home to some of the finest antiquities in all of Central Asia with the mighty Registan as its centerpiece. Genghis

Khan, Tamerlane and various despot emirs all had a turn at ruling these lands and all have left their mark.

Some of the finest riding of the entire expedition was experienced in Kyrgyzstan as we rode the rarely visited and lofty Kazaman Pass, three days of rough off road riding amongst towering snowcapped peaks and lonely nomadic ger camps that dotted the landscape, with many riders declaring it the “greatest riding days of their lives.”

Once again we crossed the vast empty Kazakh steppe camping beside deep blue lakes watching stunning sunsets. Wild dust storms blew in from the steppe at times having the riders lean at an alarming angle into the wind only to be stung by the sand as it blasted into us.

Crossing into Georgia was like stepping back in time, but absolutely beautiful.

The Russians seemed happier to see us this time and the border crossing only took five hours! We were riding into remote Russian now amongst immense wheat farms interspersed with huge stands of Fir trees that served as boundaries. After 2,200 miles since leaving Almaty, Kazakhstan, riding virtually non-stop each day we reached the spectacular Lake Baikal, referred to as the “jewel in the Siberian Crown.” This stunning blue water lake is a lake of superlatives being the world’s oldest lake, deepest lake and holding 20% of the worlds unfrozen fresh water with 80% of its flora and fauna found nowhere else on earth.

Continuing on the Trans Siberian Highway we reached Mongolia a country that offers

the riders simply some of the most spectacular riding of the expedition. Mongolia is a landscape of vast yawning valleys dotted with nomadic ger dwellers fattening their stock on the lush green pastures before the brutal winter arrives. Rough dirt tracks disappear over the horizon and riders can choose to take anyone of these tracks, as they all lead to the next remote village, or ride across the immense open landscape. The colors of Mongolia are highlighted by an immense blue sky and beautiful light that makes the entire country glow with a wonderful clarity.

The riding became tough as we faced numerous rivers, some deep, all with difficult challenging muddy entries and exits and deep slippery mud sections that extended

well beyond the rivers.

Mongolia exacted its toll on the riders with one rider breaking his leg and another breaking three ribs amongst the numerous falls, these were tough days but it was what we had come for and at nights we were amply rewarded with wonderful ger camp accommodations and log fires in impossibly beautiful locations.

Crossing back into Russia for the last time only took three hours before we rejoined the Trans Siberian Highway heading due east into a remote empty landscape of the endless forests of the Taiga.

We eventually reached the M56 or Lena Highway and hit the rough dirt with the sign reading Magadan 3177ks with the vast majority of it dirt. We rode directly north to

one of the world’s most isolated cities of Yakutsk, capital of Yakutia before crossing the mighty Lena River, via ferry. The city has no road links and is only able to be entered via ferry. Final bike preparations were carried out in Yakutsk with servicing and tire changing completed before the final push to Magadan and the evenings were spent with the Night Wolves, a great group of guys and girls belonging to what is Russia’s biggest biker club.

Under a vast blue Yakutian sky we departed Yakutsk crossed the Lena River again and with a certain trepidation we began what we had all come for, the Road of Bones.

The Road of Bones has a tragic yet little known history; Stalin populated his Gulag

“We had an amazing ride through the Caucuses however our jubilant mood was soon soured but an 8 hour border crossing and a miserable scam at the Russian border where one police officer invites us to jump the lengthy que only to be busted by another officer wanting to charge us US$300 for crossing double lines as instructed to do so by his counterpart. Welcome to Russia.”

system with prisoners from across Russia and POWs during WW2 and interned them in Gulag camps along numerous tracks that led to the many gold & tin mines that exist in the far north east of Russia. It was an unimaginably brutal place with an estimated 2 million people dying during the construction of these tracks and at various mines, their bodies simply left on the tracks thus these tracks became known as the Road of Bones.

Immediately the challenges were thrown up with hundreds of miles of deep gravel that a lot of riders hated. We also broke our 5th and last set of trailer springs after only the first day on the Road of Bones and were forced to hire a “local” version of the VW Kombi to assist us to carry our

considerable amount of bike spares, luggage and camping equipment, we needed to reduce the weight on the trailer if it were to make it to Magadan.

We crossed the Aldan River, yet another mighty river in what was now the extremely remote Kolyma Region. We ascended into the mountains the deep gravel became less so and the Road of Bones became a 50 mph track. The riding was magnificent as we rode amongst larch and fir covered mountains that were dissected by wild rivers all the while the colors of autumn were highlighted by the ever-present blue Kolyma skies, these were days we wished would never end.

The weather was holding and remained stunning but was also a double-edged

We reached Volgograd formerly known as Stalingrad one of the bloodiest battles in WWII.

The Road of Bones has a little known yet tragic history; Stalin populated his Gulag system with prisoners from across Russia and POW’s during WWII and interned them in Gulag camps along numerous tracks that led to the many gold & tin mines that exist in the far north east of Russia. It was an unimaginably brutal place with an estimated 2 million people dying during the construction of these tracks and at various mines, their bodies simply left on the tracks thus these tracks became known as the Road to Bones.

sword, with the higher speeds we were averaging one flat tire every 80 miles and were quickly falling behind as we changed up to 11 flat tires in one solitary day!

The extremely remote area of the Kolyma Region is littered with abandoned settlements and a number of, what once were, huge cities. Entire cities stood utterly deserted it was as if the residents of these cities fled an imminent disaster, riding amongst them was both surreal and strangely eerie.

One city that does indeed remain is Ust Nera, a more forlorn god forsaken settlement would be hard to imagine. All around stood crumbling buildings and everywhere

one looked were heaps of rusting scrap metal, cars bodies, trucks and skeletons of factories. Black coal dust permeated every inch of Ust Nera and we couldn’t wait to leave. Our desperation to escape was exasperated after Walt hit a pedestrian bringing them both crashing to the ground. The pedestrian ran away and Walt rode off to a quiet place to repair his bike and gather his thoughts but not before locals asked Walt if he wanted a priest?

We rode into Magadan a day late after riding 16,500 miles and suffering 18 flat tires in five days. Arriving is always the pinnacle of the expedition and as we neared I thought of all that we had

experienced since leaving the Ace Café 106 days earlier, from the tragedies to the Triumphs, and I became immediately overwhelmed, it is a surprisingly emotional moment; we had made it to Magadan!

WHAT’S NEXT?

Every year Compass Expeditions offers an “epic” journey somewhere in the world that supplements our shorter rides in South America, Australia, Africa and Europe.

FOR MORE INFORMATION contact +613-5368-2113 or info@compassexpeditions.com

RIDE APPALACHIA

A RIDE THROUGH HISTORY ON

THE COVERED WOODEN BRIDGES OF KENTUCKY

Did you know that Kentucky is home to some of the most beautiful Covered Wooden Bridges in the U.S? Kentucky’s covered bridges are scattered throughout the state, each offering a glimpse into the region’s rich history and craftsmanship. As a matter of fact, there are not many areas in the U.S. that have more of these incredible surviving bridges than the Appalachian Farmlands of Northeast Kentucky. These architectural marvels stand as silent witnesses to Kentucky’s rich history and rural charm, captivating visitors with their rustic beauty and timeless appeal.

In this article we will focus on our trail routes in our Free GPSEnabled Backroads of Appalachia Mobile Application that showcase these astounding National Historic Landmarks. Keep in mind that several of these bridges can not only be visited but can be ridden across! 100s of years of history right under your bike tires on the same bridge that once carried people on horseback and in wagons before the Automobile or Motorcycle was even invented! This is a two up or solo rider’s dream come true as these routes offer something for everyone from amazing scenery, to the historic bridges, the historic towns, and all the State Parks in the area we didn’t have the space to cover in this article. No need to worry as they are all in our Mobile Application and just one click away combined with many other “Uniquely Appalachian” Points of Interest for you to explore! Now let’s put the rubber to the wood and get started!

Kentucky Covered Wooden Bridges Trail - Maysville, Kentucky is situated along the banks of the Ohio River, boasts a collection of wooden covered bridges that harken back to a bygone era. Each

bridge tells a story of craftsmanship, resilience, and community spirit, offering a glimpse into Kentucky’s past. One of the most iconic bridges in Maysville is the Old Washington Covered Bridge. Built in 1861, this historic landmark spans the East Fork of the Licking River, connecting the town of Washington with the surrounding countryside. With its weathered wooden planks and quaint red exterior, the Old Washington Covered Bridge exudes a sense of nostalgia, beckoning visitors to step back in time and experience the simple pleasures of rural life.

Another gem in Maysville’s collection is the Manchester Bridge, a charming wooden covered bridge that dates back to the mid-19th century. Originally constructed in 1831, this bridge has undergone several renovations over the years but still retains its rustic charm and historic character. Spanning the waters of Limestone Creek, the Manchester Bridge offers stunning views of the surrounding countryside, making it a favorite spot for photographers and nature enthusiasts alike.

In addition to the Old Washington and Manchester bridges, Maysville is home to several other wooden covered bridges, each with its own unique story and significance. From the quaint charm of the Cabin Creek Covered Bridge to the historic allure of the Germantown Covered Bridge, these bridges stand as testaments to Kentucky’s rural heritage and architectural ingenuity. For visitors looking to explore Maysville’s wooden covered bridges, there are plenty of opportunities for scenic drives, leisurely walks, and photo ops. Many of the bridges are located within easy driving distance

of downtown Maysville, allowing visitors to embark on a self-guided tour of these historic landmarks. This ride covers the bridges of both Mason County and Fleming County to the South. This is one ride you will want to do again with your friends or in group!

Raiders Run Trail - Grayson, Kentucky is nestled in the rolling hills of northeastern Kentucky right off of exit 172 on I-64. This town’s rich history dates back to the early 19th century when it was founded in 1820 and named after Col. William Grayson, a prominent surveyor in the area.

The Little Sandy River flows near Grayson, and several bridges have been constructed to facilitate travel across it over the years.

The Bennett’s Mill Covered Bridge is situated near the community of Olive Hill in Carter County, Kentucky. The bridge was constructed in 1875, spanning Tygarts Creek. It was built using the Howe truss design, a popular bridge-building technique during the 19th century. The Bennett’s Mill Covered Bridge is approximately 91 feet long. Like many other covered bridges in Kentucky, the Bennett’s Mill Bridge played a crucial role in facilitating transportation and commerce in the region during the 19th and early 20th centuries. Covered bridges were common during this time as they provided protection to the wooden structure from the elements, thus extending their lifespan. The Oldtown Covered Bridge is situated near the community of Oldtown in Carter County, Kentucky. The bridge was built in 1871, spanning the Little Sandy River. It is constructed using the Burr arch truss design, a common design for covered bridges during the 19th century. The Oldtown Covered

Bridge is approximately 144 feet long.

Preserving a Legacy: Over the years, many efforts have been made to preserve and maintain these bridges for future generations to experience and enjoy. Here at Backroads and the WCMG we are doing our part to raise awareness and assist in raising funds for these efforts by showcasing these National Landmarks and their history in our Backroads of Appalachia Mobile Application. You can be a part of this initiative by visiting these bridges today or by attending our upcoming WCMG “Hollers and Bridges” Weekend Ride later this season! Donate directly by contacting the National Society for the Preservation of Covered Bridges on their website at CoveredBridgeSociety.org.

Whether you’re a history buff, a nature lover, or simply seeking a peaceful ride and escape from the hustle and bustle of modern life, Kentucky’s historic bridges offer a glimpse into Kentucky’s storied past and a reminder of the simple joys that await those who venture off the beaten path.

Let’s Save Kentucky’s Wooden Covered Bridges Appalachia!

—Jay Fryman (FryDaddy)

Founder, Whitley County Motorcycle Group

Backroads of Appalachia Journalism Team

TIME FLIES BY!

“Make the time for things for you. Once that time passes, it’s gone.”

This year is flying by. It’s May already so that means the first quarter of 2024 is now in the past.

I know my topics vary to many subjects but there is one in particular that I’ve had on my mind lately.

That topic is time. It is one of those rare and precious things that, once it’s gone, you can never get back.

We are told when we are younger that before you know it, your life will be flying past you.

In our younger years we couldn’t, or wouldn’t, think that we would ever get old or live a long life. Unfortunately for some, that is true, but for the others it’s an unavoidable reality. The life I’ve lead and experienced was one of many reckless and painful events that probably should have put me on the short list for life’s departure but it didn’t. Not yet anyway. One of the major things life has taught me that I didn’t have in my youth is wisdom. Looking back, the lessons I’ve experienced come to heart.

Here’s a very short list of things I’ve found are important.

Your health. A top of the list item. I’ve always said I want quality over quantity. Trust me, once you don’t have good health, you’ll know why it’s important.

True friends. Not bar friends but true down to earth individuals that will tell you when

your f**king up. Not just yes men that are there only for the party.

Love. true dyed in the wool type s**t. Not to be confused with lust. Although it’s nice to have them wrapped up in one package.

unknown by the present is a gift. Treat it as such. All this may seem overly simplistic but it just scratches the surface. Enjoy your time and health while you still have it. Memories are left of us when we pass. Those too will eventually fade.

Achieving your dreams takes work in many forms. If your not working for your dreams, then your working for someone trying to achieve theirs.

Make the time for things for you. Once that time passes, it’s gone.

The past is behind you. The future is

Tell Jim what you’re thinking, what do you want to say to him? editor@borntoride.com

on the trip on the Born to Ride blog. Throw some ideas my way as well. Never know. I may pass through your town. Ride safe and live life.

-Nefarious James American Patriot

Out of all the ‘biker exploitation’ movies I have reviewed, this one may be the funniest! The 1991 film features Billy Bob Thornton, MTV VeeJay Martha Quinn, and a few other B movie celebs. This movie has it all – hot chicks, lesbians, motorcycles, midgets and a troop of blind orphans - who wouldn’t love it? First off I must tell you the Chopper Chicks don’t actually ride “Choppers” but they do ride Sportsters, all equipped with engine guards and various custom paint jobs. The girls in the film are members of an all female motorcycle gang called the “Cycle Sluts” which in itself is funny. They do have the usual trappings of women traveling in groups, such as being on the rag, and searching for meat.

Anyway, the film begins when the Cycle Sluts cruise into the small town of Zariah looking for a good time. In Zariah, an evil scientist turned mortician has been killing local townspeople with the help of dwarf that he continually abuses. After turning the folks into zombies, he uses them as labor at an abandoned mine. The mine is too radioactive after underground nuclear testing to be mined by living people. He later admits the real reason he’s doing it isn’t for the money, it’s because he’s just plain mean. The zombies are released when a curious little boy opens a door in the apparently abandoned mine, thus releasing the un-dead, and of course this act is his un-

BIKER MOVIE REVIEW

doing. In the mean time, the girls are in town, and decide to split up and go look for some meat. One of them is run over by the mortician, and is turned into a zombie, while the others find their way into various sexual situations with the local guys. This is where we first meet Billy Bob who plays the ex of one of the chopper chicks. They meet in a church where the dwarf is attempting to shoot her, and retreat to his trailer for some fun. Another mistake for the midget, and more punishment later, the zombies are still marching on, and they are getting hungry!

On the way to town the zombies encounter a group of blind orphans, who are stranded just on the outskirts after their bus breaks down. Luckily for the kids their bus-driver always keeps an Uzi on the bus (for sentimental reasons) and while the driver seeks help the kids (shooting blindly) manage to hold off the zombies until the chopper chicks arrive to rescue them in a hearse. Even though the girls are doing some good deeds, the locals don’t seem to like them too much and repeatedly attempt to run them out of town. That is until the town is overrun by blood thirsty zombies! But wait – the town folk refuse to help the girls fight the zombies because “they are all family.’’ Hordes of zombies begin eating their relatives as the girls fight them off. The dwarf decides to turn against the mortician, and tells the girls that the only way to kill the zombies is to “cut their heads off.” The chopper chicks use baseball bats, chainsaws, and other devices to do away with many of them, but just when they think they have won, dozens more arrive. The girls devise a plan to lure all the remaining zombies into the church using raw meat as bait. They load the meat truck with dynamite, and crash it into the church. The timer on the dynamite goes off and the church goes up in flames burning up most of the remaining zombies.

In the final scenes the Cycle Sluts are rewarded with a sack full of cash and induct the dwarf and several of the blind orphans as honorary members of their gang. They then ride out of town with some of the men folk (their new ‘bitches’) on the back of their bikes and toss wads of money into the wind as they roll down the road to a new destination and adventure.

This review could not possibly expose you to all the hilarious action that this film provides. It is sometimes so ridiculous that you would find yourself rolled up in a knot from uncontrollable laughter. It takes shots at old films, TV and life in general, but it never leaves you bored. I admit that I have a sick sense of humor, but for some unknown reason, I actually liked this film! (I usually don’t) Try this one out. It’s available on DVD from Troma Films, www.troma.com or at your local ‘strange DVD dealership.’ I have to give this one 4 out of 4 stars just because it’s super-funny. … Till next month. ...

THE MEANING OF MEMORIAL DAY

NEVER FORGET OUR VETERANS WHO SERVE

I have approached this subject several times over the years, Memorial Day is not the official start of summer, nor should it be the reason for a 3-day long weekend of parties, barbecues, or car sales.

Memorial Day has had several names over the 150 years of its existence; however, the reason for Memorial Day stays the same. The day is for honoring and showing respect for those who have been killed while serving in the military, beginning with the Civil War through current military engagements.

Over the years Memorial Day has diminished as a national holiday and has become the unofficial start of summer and

big box store specials. Why has it gotten to that point?

Simply stated, people don’t seem to care as much as they have in the past. With only 10% of the American population having served in the military, the other 90% seems to have forgotten what the actual cost of freedom is, those who have given their lives.

Cemeteries will have small American Flags placed on the final resting places of our warriors and American Flags should be flown at half staff from dawn until noon at which time they will be brought back to full staff (or to the top of the pole). To properly bring the Flag to the half staff position the flag

should be raised to the upper most position on the staff and then lowered to the half way position.

Now you should have some idea as to what Memorial Day represents and what respect and dignity the day should be shown.

Please say a special prayer for those who we have lost over the years. God Bless America and those who serve in uniform. It’s not about the war; it’s about those who serve to protect us.

-Terri Longpree

Remember and Honor our Veterans and Never Forget the meaning of Memorial Day.

25,26,27 MAY

12-4

Craven Moorehead

MAY I SEND YOU A MESSAGE?

With all the recent activity in my life, it becomes unusually difficult for me to enjoy just hanging out or being my usual rotten self. I have been constantly reminded of my degenerate lifestyle and lack of reasonable income, plus the fact that no matter what I do, some kind of crap comes up that prevents my happiness and success. Well, not really. I mean, it could be worse - much worse.

Here’s an example: I had to go to the office today to do some business and when I left there, RT60 was in total Eastbound chaos. There was some sort of serious accident involving a motorcycle which spread small pieces of debris and parts all the way across the 3 eastbound lanes. If I had arrived an hour later, I wouldn’t have been able to make the turnaround to the BTR office. Evidently, this was fairly serious and every type of police and emergency vehicle were present on the scene. Every month I remind all of you, my dedicated readers, to look out for and respect the motorcycle riders that are out there using our nation’s highways. I suspect that most of you actually have and ride a motorcycle, but this message goes out to the general public: Watch out for and respect motorcyclists and remember to share the road! Correctly. … And we all said please and Amen. (No, I’m not really a preacher)

Originally, I was going to write the majority of this story about Lynne’s hair. You see, Eddie and Lynne are Co-Hosts on Born To Ride radio on Tuesday night. We have a lot of fun doing it and it provides a ton of valuable information to those of us who ride. But Lynne’s hair is so large it allegedly has its own zip code and area

code. On Born To Ride radio it simply has its own cameras and it’s a topic of discussion on most of the shows but not the most important of topics. I love doing Talk-Radio, and I know that Lynne and Eddie do also, but we are trying to do something good for our local community and worldwide.

I can’t seem to avoid the “Talk-Radio” circuit because I have a really cool radio on the bagger, and infrequently the radio in my old pickup still works. I used to listen to the CD player on the bagger or try to find the ‘one out of many’ stations that didn’t play the same worn out seven songs between commercials. Good radio is hard to find nowadays – especially when you want to rock out or enjoy some progressive country music that doesn’t make ya want to cry in your beer. Anyhow, following talk-radio has brought me to the same plateau that watching television does. Maybe I shouldn’t say plateau, I should say cliff. Yeah you know, the one you wanna jump off when you’ve had enough BS in your life from the regulated media. And this revelation that I was given by listening to regular radio be it talk, music, or a combination of both brought me back to my abnormal reality.

So with all the aforementioned conflicting and sometimes useless information that I am supplying you, I decided to get back in the Internet broadcasting business, largely due to the fact that I had extra room in my new location and moreover my personal desire to try to make things better for the general public and bikers, whether that constituent is listening or not. Honestly, I hate to just talk about radio in general and I am continually trying to change it with the help of Born To Ride.

The truth of the matter is that wherever you go, you will still be exposed to the same ‘media’ slant that all the regulated outlets cram down your throat. Unless you live in a small town where you can actually call into a radio station and get your request played, you are pretty much stuck with what you get. … I am trying to change that.

For what it’s worth, I believe that in the very near future the Internet is where all you regular people will get all your entertainment. It’s alarming to observe the huge number of people who get all their content from their phones ... be it TV, radio, or movies the Internet has taken the forefront in the delivery of your content. For better or worse, just live with it. You are stuck with it.

Don’t forget to tune in to Born To Ride radio every Tuesday night between 8 PM and 11 PM. I thank you and so does Lynne’s hair. …

TUEDAYS LIVE ON FACEBOOK 9pm-10pm and OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Hey there my BTR friends, welcome to May. Spring has now fully bloomed in Florida. Which means it’s the start of love bugs in your teeth, windscreen or grill season. That depends on what you’re riding.

May the 4th be with you and if not, you can always drink too much tequila on Cinco de Mayo and Fuhgeddaboudit like Mike is going to do. In his drunken stupor he gives me limes and makes me wear a mini sombrero. May is also a time to give Mom’s their day. So make sure you do something special for her because she could’ve swallowed and you wouldn’t be here reading this!

I can tell you what it means to me; Mike may or may not be taking me out on the scoot as much. He blames it on the rain but I really know he’s looking to do other adventures including the beach, riding Jet Skis and lounging in the pool.

Mike breaks in, “hold on there my tiny typing pterodactyl, did you just put words in my mouth again? What did I tell you about that? I know it’s your story, but let me speak my side of it.

I’m not blaming anything on the rain. Even though you like it, I don’t like riding in it because the caged drivers don’t know how to act. It makes us motorcyclists harder to see on the road especially when those Q-tips have got a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, stare straight ahead and slow down to a crawl. Becoming a menace to us and all drivers. Or they fly down the road, ride right beside the scoot and splash sprays

MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU

of water on us or into our lane, causing me to have a white knuckled grip of my own on the handlebars.

Since we’ve had minimal rainfall in April, we did do a lot of great riding! This month could be exceptionally rainy so we’ll just play it by ear or should I say eyes to the sky?

That brings up the memory of our recent trip to Home Depot. While out in the garden center shopping for edible flowering plants to go in the lanai and for you to munch on when poolside, we couldn’t help overhearing a conversation between a nurseryman and acustomer. I cackle, “yes, I remember that. You parked me on the cart right next to them and this is my recollection;

The two of them were talking and looking on the employees phone. The employee tells him, “No, we haven’t had any of that in ages, and from what I can see I don’t know when we’ll be getting any more.”

The customer thanks him then leaves. A manager walks up to give him the corporate scolding. “Never tell a customer we can’t get them something. Whatever the customer wants, we can always get it on order and deliver it. D’you understand?”

The nurseryman nods yes. “So, what did he want?” asks the manager.

“Rain!” he replies. The manager then pulls a Mike move. He slaps his forehead, says duh and walks away.”Mike babbles, “yeah my little buddy, I’ve been known to do that once

or twice. Speaking of rain, April showers bring May flowers. But what do May flowers bring?”

I look at Mike and squawk, “pilgrims!”

He shakes his finger at me and says, “well they used to but no, now they just bring sneezes! Maybe you’ll get this one, what starts growing in the spring and then goes POP?”

I scratch my head with one talon and cackle, “the bald spot on your tire?”

Mike utters, “absolutely not! Now you know that can’t be true, I just got two new hoops on the Fat Bird 3 from Eight Ball tires in Pinellas Park, it’s May-ze you corny bird!

How about this one, what goes up when May showers fall?”

My eyes start bulging and I squabble, “the water in Tampa Bay!”

Mike retorts, “no you mouthy macaw, only hurricanes do that. It’s an umbrella!”

I shriek, “OK blondie, I got one for you. Since you’re human, you should get this. What May flowers grow on faces?”

Mike frowns, scratches his chin and belches out “a four freckled clover?”

I screech, “no, my daffodil dingdong of a daddy, tulips! Here’s one right up your alley. Why are oak trees so forgiving this time of year?”

Mike answers, “Because they already gave up their pollen?”

I tweet, “I thought you would’ve gotten this one, my delirious daddy. They are doing what you have just done, turned over a new leaf!”

Mike responds, “You’re so right, my chatty parrot! I did turn over a new leaf this year. Now I think we both need a little wind therapy session. It’s time for us to make like a tree and leave.

I need to get your wings in the wind, my knees under the keys, and the Fat Bird 3 wheels rolling down the road while there is no rain!”

RONNIE and EMILY’S RONNIE and EMILY’S

CHRISTIAN MOTORCYCLISTS ASSOCIATION

There is excitement in the air: it is bikefest season! Everyone loves a good bikefest and thankfully there are several to enjoy at the start of new year. In Florida these events can be found on both coasts, from Gibtown, to Daytona, Nature Coast, and even Leesburg. Bikers from the surrounding areas all flock to these locations, for the love of motorcycles and the community it brings. Some arrive alone and others bring friends and riding companions. Either way, it is the best time to rekindle old friendships and start new ones. It truly is a wonderful time of the year.

When approaching one of these events we often first see signs for parking and people with red flags directing traffic. Live music grows louder as you close in on the festivities’ center, and the smell of food permeates the air. Everywhere you look there are motorcycles, clothing, helmets and accessories of all styles ready for purchase. You can even get your motorcycle worked on, cleaned and detailed, with new lights installation too! These events are what help inspire us and we keep looking forward to the next time we can attend another. Best of all, we encourage one another and get to talk about our favorite subject–motorcycles.

Gathering is important to the biker community and it’s why we do it as often as we can. We have a desire to share with others of like minds and like passions. Likewise, living for the Lord gives us that same passion and desire of just

being with one another. We can’t help but be excited to encourage one another in our walk and relationship with the Lord. In Heb 10:24-25 it says, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

Just as I am excited to ride with my fellow bikers to an event, so am I excited to help motivate my brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Teach’s Takeaway,

- Eve nts are an amazing way to be with others of similar interests.

- The Love of God in our lives motivates us to be with one another.

- We all need encouragement.

- Whether it be about motorcycles or our relationship with the Lord, be an encourager.

We all have this strong desire for community. When we love something we want to share it. There is an excitement in the love of God. Allow our CMA brothers and sisters to encourage you with a Bike Blessing and prayer. Ride on.

Fellow Soldier in Christ, Wayne (Teach) Masiker

Christian Motorcyclists Association wayne.masiker@att.net

JULIE MEET

PHOTOS BY DANIEL GALLANT

Hi my name is Julie Marie. I’m from Illinois, and live in Tampa, Florida. I am an Actress, Model, Ring Girl, Spokesperson, and professional dance artist. I hope you will follow me on my journey.

Motorcycle: White & Black bike: 2024 Indian Scout Chief

Black Bike: 2024 Indian Scout Bobber

Blue Bike: 2024 Indian Scout