Valentines Specials
are waiting for your special love!
Kawasaki KZ1000 Turbo
By the late 1970s Kawasaki’s mantle as King Zed was beginning to be threatened by the opposition in the shape of the Suzuki GS1000 Z1 rip-off, Honda’s mad six-cylinder CBX and the Yamaha XS1100 chainless wonder. In order to give their new monotonal Z1R some much needed kudos in the face of the latest kimono kickers the Big K shipped some 1,600 factory fresh Z1Rs to the Turbo-Pak company in Santa Ana, California, to be fitted with turbochargers. The resultant performance of the fully street legal TurboPak equipped Z1R TC was truly phenomenal
– how about a standing quarter time of 10.3 seconds and a top speed of 160 mph?
Despite the fact that it cost twice as much moola as a standard Z1R and that it came with absolutely no warranty whatsoever, the Kawasaki dealers who had the TC on the showroom floor had to beat off the buyers with a rice flail.
However, if you missed the Z1R TC bandwagon, (and with only 1,400 up for grabs most turbo-hungry Zed freaks did), there was always the option of buying a turbocharger from Turbo Pak, or from one of the other specialist suppliers, and nailing
it on yourself. But buying and bolting on the sort of big old draw-though type turbocharger that came with an S&S carb the size of a window cleaner’s bucket was the easy part of the process, keeping it running without melting pistons was a near impossibility if the boost was turned up higher. Remember, this was a time before any form of silicon chipped computer aided electrickery, when a big moustache and bell-bottom pants were cool and when the delay between opening the throttle and the bike violently launching forward like a striking cobra could be measured with an egg timer. Yep, before the advent of the
reliable blow-through turbo system and all of the space-age computer gizmos that have all-but eliminated the dreaded turbo lag, you needed balls of steel and deep pockets to ride a big Zed with a turbocharger in anger.
After years of drag racing turbo’d Kawasakis in the ProStar series, Mark Shaffer decided that what he wanted was a big old fashioned, sledgehammer Zed with a turbo. An electronics whiz who installs the likes of GPS units, very complicated AV systems, (that’s Audio Visual in geek-speek for what we used to call radios, stereos, CD players and TV sets), with satellite links
and countless flat screen monitors, and CB communications in million dollar luxury motor coaches and RVs for the rich and famous, it was easy-peasy for Mark to fabricate any sort of turbo related electronics for his Zed. While recognizing the benefits of the modern blow-through turbo system that keeps the carbs, (or fuel injectors), in their conventional position, Mark wanted to have the appearance of a big sticky-out turbocharger like the old draw-through systems that had the carb mounted directly on the turbo unit. In order for a blow-through system to work the plenum chamber behind the carbs, (and
the intercooler if one is fitted), need to be sealed, as do the carburetors, although this is more of a problem with butterfly carbs than with the 36 mm Mikuni flat slides Mark is using. Mark initially made a template for a square section plenum chamber, but when he asked a welder friend to make it for him it was suggested that it would be easier to fabricate it from a 4-inch piece of thickwalled aluminum pipe that, fortunately, was already to hand. (Florida being a land of swamps that are constantly being drained to produce arable land, there is no shortage of useful pieces aluminum irrigation pipe lying
around.)
The exhaust system was a similar joint effort between Mark and his welder buddy. A collection of commercially available bends were bought and after fabricating the flanges from quarter-inch plate Mark tacked the ensemble together with his TiG welder at home before having it welded properly by the professional. Mark built the rest of the system
around the Rayjay turbo he’d had on the shelf since his ProStar racing days, although the seals had to be replaced after failing the first time more than a few pounds of boost were used.
Modified to handle the enhanced horsepower from a turbocharger Mark built the engine from the crank up using Kawasaki Zed components from different model years, but
mostly the motor is 1976 Z1. The crankshaft was indexed and welded and a 120 spacer was fitted under the stock cylinder block to lower the compression ratio to a turbo-friendly 8:1. Had Mark intended to race the bike seriously then Carrillo rods and forged pistons would have been on the shopping list, but as it’s a street bike running low to moderate boost with an upper limit of 8 psi,
the stock stuff was deemed usable. And because gas flowing makes little difference to a turbo motor, Mark rebuilt the ’79 Zed head to stock spec with original cams and a heavy-duty camchain.
In order to fit the Rayjay turbo unit at the front of the engine where it would stick out like a lap dancer’s ass, Mark fabricated new downtubes for the frame that also relocate the steering neck forward by four inches and endow it with a shallower rake. Using the original KZ900 steering stem mated to a the ZX12 bottom yoke, the top ZX12 yoke has also been modified for Yamaha handlebar clamps and the 2004 ZX12 fork legs have been fitted with Trac Dynamic internals. Both wheels are polished Hayabusa three-spokes
and, unusual for a drag style bike Mark, has retained the original Hayabusa shock absorber that came with the Busa swingarm that’s now fitted with six-inch extensions and an upper brace.
While the Zed might be classically styled, the bodywork is an interesting mix of old and new parts; both the tank and seat unit are liberated from a 2001 ZRX750 with the frame altered to accept both, a modified Haybusa belly fairing lives under the swingarm and the side panels are Z1300 with the ZXR seat latch welded to the Z900 frame so that it locates with the hole in the Z1300 sidepanel and is opened with the original ZRX key. Neat. The NOS bottle is so far just ornamental, although the MRE airshifter is fully functional with the onboard
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Engine: 1976 Kawasaki KZ1000, (mostly). Welded & indexed crankshaft and 120 in spacer under cylinder block. Rebuilt stock cylinder head. 36 mm Mikuni flatslide carburetors. Homemade blow-through turbocharging system using rebuilt Rayjay turbo running 8 lbs boost. Electric fuel pump with pressure regulator controlled by boost returns fuel to tank. Auto parts air filter. Outboard gearbox sprocket with PMFR billet aluminum clutch release plate. MRE airshifter with onboard compressor. Handmade exhaust system by Owner.
Frame: 1973 Kawasaki KZ900 frame with new front down tubes to reposition steering head out 4 inches & modified for fuel tank, rear-sets etc. Hayabusa rear-set footrest assemblies. Framemounted steering damper.
Front End: 2004 Kawasaki ZX10 USD fork legs with Trac Dynamic inners. ZX10 fork yokes with KZ900 stem & modified for Yamaha handlebar clamps. ZX10 4-piston brake caliper, brake disc & master cylinder with stainless steel braided line. ZX10 clutch lever assembly. Chrome drag ‘bars with Pro Grips. Chromed Hayabusa 17-inch wheel with 120/70ZR17-inch Shinko tire. Aftermarket mirror.
Rear End: Modified & braced Hayabusa swingarm with 6-inch extenders & Hayabusa shock absorber modified to accept lowering links. Chromed Hayabusa 17-inch wheel with 200/50ZR17-inch Shinko tire. Hayabusa brake caliper, brake disc & master cylinder with stainless steel braded line. Hayabusa final drive sprocket with DID chain. Modified custom tag bracket.
compressor secreted beneath the seat. The electrics are naturally all Mark’s own efforts and use a lightweight dry cell 12-volt aircraft battery mounted in the fabricated alloy box above the big bottle for the airshifter. Likewise, the neat alloy overflow reservoir and the aluminum mounting brackets holding on bits like the H-D Fat Boy headlights, the various dials and gauges and the suspension links are also Mark-made. Despite the fact that bikes like these old Zeds are currently outnumbered and outshone by the legions of blinged Busas and their ilk at any bike event in Florida, Mark’s turbo Zed was recognized by the judges at the Kawasaki Bike Night at Daytona Bike Week as the very special motorcycle that it is with the award for best classic.
Bodywork: 2001 Kawasaki ZRX gas tank & seat unit. KZ1300 side panels. ZX10 front fender. Hayabusa belly pan.
Electrics: Custom wiring harness by Owner. Dyna shift light & engine kill switch. ZX10 L/H switchgear. ZRX taillight. 2007 H-D Fat Bob headlights on handmade alloy mount by Owner. Dry cell 12v battery.
Paintwork: Paint & graphics by Mike Schraf.
Engineering: Bike built & all engine work, fabrication & machining by Owner.
Owner: Mark Shaffer, Deland, Florida, USA.
SCAN QR CODE FOR DISCOUNTED TICKETS
Attorney Greg Linehan presents the Cover of
Born to Ride Magazine for Thunder by the Bay
an accident so that you have the proper representation.
I KNOW YOU SUPPORT THE 911 RIDE IN SEPTEMBER HOW IMPORTANT IS IT NEVER TO LET PEOPLE FORGET?
9/11 was a very dark day in our nation’s history. But it was also a day where all Americans came together to help and support one another. Past events, even the tragic ones, are hugely important for the future generations to learn about.
AT TBTB THIS YEAR IF PEOPLE COME TO YOUR BOOTH TO SIGN UP TO WIN A SPECIAL PRIZE WHAT IS IT?
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO SUPPORT TBTB I SEE THIS YEAR YOU ARE THE PRESENTING SPONSOR FOR THE COVER OF BORN TO RIDE?
Giving back to our local community and to the motorcycle community is very important to Greg Linehan Law. We take every opportunity that we can to participate with the local motorcycle community and the charities that they support, whether that is through Thunder by the Bay, the 9/11 Ride, or the various fundraisers that our local motorcycle clubs have throughout the year.
THE LOCAL CHARITIES BENEFIT FROM THIS EVENT AND THERE IS GREAT HISTORY OF ECONOMIC IMPACT. HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
Greg was born and raised in Sarasota. He has raised his family here. All of our staff members were also born and raised in this area. It is important to all of us to give back to and support the community that has given us so much throughout our life.
YOU ARE PART OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS. FOR HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN PART OF THIS TEAM? TELL US ABOUT LITTLE ABOUT THIS TEAM. WHAT IS YOUR TITLE?
Greg Linehan Law has been a sponsor of Thunder by the Bay since 2011.
Greg joined the board of directors in 2016 and became Board President in 2020.
HOW CAN YOU HELP INJURED BIKERS AND WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL THEM AS THEY ARE READING THIS REPORT?
Our office has helped countless bikers that have been injured in accidents. We never want to see anyone hurt, but if they are, we want them to know that they can trust our office to help them from start to finish with their injury claim. Our office is here to make sure that the injured biker has the time and ability to heal from their injuries without worrying about handling any of the stressful claim details. The two most important things are 1. to protect yourself before you get into an accident by wearing the proper safety gear and making sure that your insurance coverage is in effect and 2. to contact an attorney as soon as possible after
We will be raffling off a Money Tree with $300 worth of scratch off lottery tickets. You can enter at our booth by scanning the QR code and providing us with your name, email address and phone number. The winner will be chosen at random after Thunder by the Bay ends.
LAST WORDS TO THE READERS OF BTR AND HOW IS THE BEST WAY TO CONTACT YOU IF THEY HAVE QUESTIONS OR NEED YOUR HELP?
The best way to contact us is by calling our office at 941-559-GLAW (4529) or visiting www.greglinehanlaw.com.
SCAN QR CODE FOR DISCOUNTED TICKETS
Win a Scratch off Money Tree at the Greg Linehan booth during Thunder by the Bay. Face Value of $300 Thunder by the Bay
I was walking out of the bank the other day and ran into a friend and fellow rider in my HOG chapter. And just like that show Dragnet from the 1960’s I’m gonna begin by saying ladies and gentleman the stories you about to hear about are true. Only the the names have been changed to protect the innocent:
I said “Hi Tom and Kathey how you doing?” Tom said “Not so good!” “Oh I said sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?” Tom said “Can you find me a hit man!!” Then Kathey said “Tom please remain calm. Let’s just get through this.” I said “ What’s going on?” She said were here for a loan on our paid off house. We have to borrow 1/2 the appraisal amount.
“I said wow! You putting in pool, taking a trip around the world, doing major construction?” “We wish” said Kathey…Then Tom said with an ANGRY LOOK IN HIS EYE LIKE I’VE NEVER SEEN. “Actually we are getting a loan to pay off our son in law who broke our daughters heart and is divorcing her.” I said “Why? Is her name on the house?” And he said” Yes, and thats what we were told to do so when we die our house would avoid probate and go straight to her.”
NOBODY EVEN WANT WANTS TO INTENTIONALLY PUT AN EMOTIONAL AND FINANCIAL BURDEN ON THEIR FAMILY!
Unfortunately it happens somewhere every day.
A Biker Helping Bikers
LET’S
AVOID EVER HAVING TO SAY
“I WISH I KNEW BACK THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW”
Fellow readers I can tell you bad advice is out there. Usually from relatives, friends, people who mean well but just don’t understand the potential consequences to their actions.
Even some financial advisors give bad advice like having your wife as the primary beneficiary of your retirement accounts and Life insurance and making your kids as contingent beneficiaries. I can give at least 8 reasons why you wouldn’t want to do that. However, don’t feel like the lone ranger. Even celebrities like Prince, Elvis, Michael Jackson, Martin Luther King Jr, and even Abe Lincoln who was a lawyer had trouble with getting an estate plan done correctly. No worries I have scheduled an event to explain how to get it right.
See the ad for the educational seminar I am hosting at the St Petersburg Yacht Club. Remember, Its never too late to start doing the right thing, Estate planning and
retirement is not a one size fits all paint by the numbers solution. Time goes bye fast.
Just look at the picture of me and my oldest daughter 15 years ago. That was an annual biker helping bikers event ride we always did up north. Seems like that was just yesterday. What’s amazing is that my hair still hasn’t grown.
You don’t need more money you just need a better plan. After having the privilege of serving tens of thousands of people I can attest to the statement ‘That money won’t make you happy! but riding a motorcycle will!
My passion is to help bikers in life changing ways. Hence the reason I created www.BikerHelpingbikers.com Call 833-467-2865 weekly Money School 18 min. Webinars at IslandRetirementAdvisors.com
James Irwin, CSA, FRC SM Certified Senior Advisor® IslandRetirementAdvisors.com
Even Spike the famous bird has a trust
MARCH 14-16 2025
RIDE APPALACHIA
Now that we let the cat out of the bag with our BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS from last month and the Official launch and rebrand of the WCMG to the Appalachian Motorcycle Group, remember this is all part of a bigger picture and plan to expand our efforts out even farther here on the Backroads of Appalachia and bring you the visiting rider even more of the “Best Riding in the U.S.! Period!” while “Bringing The Bikes” to even more impoverished areas across Central Appalachia we have not been able to reach yet! As you may have read in last month’s article, We are currently burning the midnight oil in our off-season to bring you even more ways to explore and enjoy our mountains and riding here by expanding our ongoing relationship with our partners at REVER! It’s our Motorcycle GPS App of choice here on the Bike Side and has been from our Start and now we are bringing you ALL our most popular Trail Routes from our BOA Mobile Application, which will include all those “Uniquely Appalachian” POIs we have spent years adding manually on each Route to showcase our Small Businesses, Small Towns, Our History, and our Region like no one ever has before! Keep in mind that you will not find any of these Routes or Points of Interest on any other commercial map out there and each Trail Route we have created has been continually ridden and revised by our community each season to make them the best they can be! Ride or Drive!
With the improved functionality that the REVER Application brings us on our existing established Routes over our own BOA Mobile App which was developed on a small budget, it’s a match made in Motorcycle Heaven! As a matter of fact by the time you see this Article we will have all of our most popular routes like Copperhead
160, Ridge
Road 587,
Arrowhead, Ride the River Dragon, Coal Train 421, Scout’s Honor Trail KY, and a whole lot more! All ready to Go and all you have to do is visit our Backroads of Appalachia Community right now on REVER! Although you can download the REVER Mobile Application
Free and use it to record your rides and enjoy these limited features you will absolutely want to get REVER’s PRO version to really get all the benefits out of this incredible Motorcycle GPS Platform! Remember it is what we use here and trust us when we tell you we have tested them all over the last 4 years and you are absolutely going to want the PRO version! Thanks to our friends at REVER we are gonna give you that special discount code we promised you last month just for that purpose but keep reading because we are not done yet! We have more to tell you!
Now that you have the scoop on our new BOA Community on REVER and where you can find our most popular BOA Mobile App Routes let’s talk about all those Custom Routes and Rides we create each Riding Season here in our “All Volunteer” Community for our local and visiting Riders to enjoy! These are the Rides on our season schedule which combine our most popular Trail Routes from our App with many other great roads and things to see that we could not share with you until now! Rides like our Brushy Mountain Prison Break Run, 2 Snakes and a Lake, Spring RUN Rattlesnake 192, THE IRON 3.0, Our “Miners, Shiners, and Heroes” Ride, Our “All Aboard’ Ride, Our “Slay the Dragon” Ride, Our Mountain Mainstreet Invasion, and Our Fall Leaves Ride in
Trail KY, Revenue Runner HWY 92, Rattlesnake 192, The Dragonslayer HWY
Runner
Yamacraw
the Smokies just to name a few! All these rides change and get even better each year as we revise them so they are never exactly the same as the season before! We even have a lot of new ones we have never released to the public that our AMG Road Crew rides each April when we train.Thanks to partners at REVER once again we are happy to announce that all our existing Riders/Users we have on REVER in our Group are about to get a new home where you will be able to find all of our existing rides and routes as well as many others created by our local and extended riding community here for the whole world to enjoy!
This is another BIG ANNOUNCEMENT we have been waiting to share with you and now we have! Also this season we are going to put ALL of our AMG 2025 Motorcycle Season Event Rides exclusively in the Appalachian Motorcycle Group Community on REVER! Remember no matter what you like to ride we have you covered and we even create custom routes in REVER for visiting groups and riders based on what you like to ride and what you want to see! That also includes GPX files for you A/T Bikes and Off-Roaders who like to use their own GPS devices! And for all you Sunday Drivers and Scenery Nuts out there it’s the same incredible Roads and Routes you’re looking for! That is what we are here for and this is what makes us here at BOA and the AMG totally unique by design! Also do not forget to come and see us this year with our partners at the 84th Annual Daytona Bike Week at the Legendary Boothill Outpost in Ormond Beach Florida to get your Traveling Hog, See the “Backroads Brawler” Rat Bike, Sign our BOA Mobile Trailer WALL OF FAME, Catch one of our BOA LIVE! Broadcasts and maybe even meet a Moonshiner, and get more
information on the Best Riding in the U.S.! Period! straight from the horse’s mouth! Oh yes that discount code I was telling you about from our friends over at REVER! I bet you thought we forgot about that…. Remember you can download REVER for Free but we highly recommend REVER PRO as that is what we all use here for our own routes and it’s packed with features that are second to none if you Ride! Period! Get it right now and use the code BOAREVER30 and get 30% off of REVER PRO but you better hurry up, This is for a limited time only! Thank you to our Partners at REVER for helping us take our Mission and Message to the Next Level! We will see you at the Rally or right here on the Backroads of Appalachia this Season!
Let’s Ride with REVER Appalachia!
—Jay Fryman (FryDaddy) Founder, Whitley
County Motorcycle Group
Backroads of Appalachia Journalism Team
KEEP YOUR HEAD ON A SWIVEL
Hello everyone. As we roll into February, it’s important to note that January ended with frigid and damp temperatures, creating challenging riding conditions in the Southeast. Please remember to dress appropriately and stay safe out there, as these conditions can lead to hazardous road situations. Keep your head on a swivel!
With January behind us, we have a new (or rather, old) president taking the reins of our country’s leadership. Regardless of your feelings about him, he is America’s president, and many changes are underway. The actions taken in his first two days demonstrate this. Let’s hope for a brighter future and pray for a stronger, more prosperous nation. The outgoing administration has left a questionable legacy, raising concerns among many Americans about what they see as preemptive pardons for individuals who may be guilty of potential crimes committed during their time in office. This creates the impression that, although individuals haven’t been charged with any crimes yet, they are being granted immunity for any actions that could significantly harm our citizens and our way of life. This situation is absurd. Some of these actions could be classified as treason or crimes against humanity. How can someone be pardoned for actions they haven’t even been charged with? It seems backward to me. Despite our nation’s challenges, we should maintain a positive outlook and hope for meaningful changes in government operations. Let’s turn the America-first mentality from a catchy election slogan into real action. We must feed the hungry, house the homeless, and provide jobs for the unemployed. We must ensure that wages and living costs allow everyone to achieve
the American Dream. It is crucial to keep promises made to our veterans and give them what they have earned.
We should also collect all outstanding debts owed to us by other nations. Let us strive to become a selfsufficient nation that is not dependent on other countries for our basic needs. We need to start growing and producing food locally again. Additionally, we must address our contaminated water systems and work towards cleaning our air. There are no learning curves when it comes to school grades. If your grades or abilities aren’t satisfactory, work harder. Don’t undermine success that is achieved through hard work. Conversely, do not reward individuals who attain their wealth by harming others. Everyone deserves a fair opportunity for their share of success.
“Despite our nation’s challenges, we should maintain a positive outlook and hope for meaningful changes in government operations”
Remember that racism and discrimination are significant issues. They are not confined to any one race or gender. We must protect our children and the ideal of the family unit. Please get to know your neighbors and strive to understand their struggles in life. I’m not suggesting that you should
agree with everyone, but it’s essential to comprehend their perspectives. We should also ensure the availability of legitimate mental health resources for those in need. Additionally, let’s revive the production of American-made motorcycles.
I could add many more items to this list, but space is limited. My main point is that our nation’s melting pot comprises a diverse mix of people, yet we share one common thread. If you are a citizen of the United States, you are one with all its citizens. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. Lead by example and embody the changes you want rather than just discussing them. While it may seem challenging to achieve these goals, you won’t know what is possible until you try. It’s too easy to focus on hate for one another and the world around you. As Forrest Gump says, “Stupid is as stupid does”—curiously wise words.
This can go on and on but I think this gives you the gist of it. As always watch and observe with your eyes wide open. Do your own research. Don’t believe everything you hear and never trust just one source. Everything is what you make of it. Choose your path wisely. After all, life’s should be enjoyable and an experience worth remembering. As always, be safe, enjoy a good ride, appreciate what you have. See you out there
— Nefarious James American
Craven Moorehead
Commercialism & Healthcare...
I don’t even know why I try to go to Daytona Bike Week every year. I’ve been going there for years and years, and admit that it used to be fun. Especially when you could ride over there with just a little money in your pocket, sleep on the beach, and party with people that just came there to be part of the action. Gas was cheaper, the scene was freer, and beer was only a buck or so. There was never a lack of hot looking girls, and most of them were eager to ride and party with any nasty looking scooter tramp that could kick start a Harley. I can remember back as far as when they used to not issue tickets for the girls displaying the magical orbs on the street for all to see! Hell, the cops would even pose for pictures with the girl if she was packin’ 36 or better and not sagging. Man, those were the good ol’ days alright. … Maybe all good things come to an end, but I just can’t see why. Commercialism I suppose is ultimately to blame.
Nowadays it just seems that there are more and more expenses involved with having a good time. First of all, it’s difficult entering or leaving the area without getting some sort of traffic citation. You would think that the city and the surrounding areas would make enough money off the visiting bikers without having to give you the gift that keeps on giving. No, I’m not talking about VD here, but that in itself is another opportunity for misery, and another story altogether. But seriously, it’s a mystery to me why after paying five bucks for a beer, and a hundred bucks for a roach infested hotel room, insult has to be added to injury by the local authorities in the form of a traffic ticket. Ahhh yeah, but the good ol’ days aren’t even a foggy vision to me anymore. Someone told me that the local news had reported that the cops had issued over seven thousand traffic tickets during the 10 days of the event. I guess that’s some pretty good income for the city as the average fine on most of those tickets is in the area of one hundred fifty bucks! Crap, I couldn’t afford to be out there for more than 4 days, and after having to pay an additional fee in the form of a ticket, I have ruined my budget for the return trip for Biketoberfest.
Enough of my bitchin’ for now, I’m sure you would rather hear what happened when I returned to the trailer park. It’s always exciting here. It’s like living right in the middle of a lower middle class sit-com that you could only see on cable because of violence, nudity, and adult language. But what do you expect? No one here has a decent
job, or a pot to piss in. Really I am fortunate enough to have a pot, or actually a joint compound bucket, but everything else out here is a vivid display of a region gone to hell. Florida used to be one of those states that everyone wanted to come to for their dream vacation. Dreams lately have turned into nightmares for some of us, and I have learned lately that the situation is pretty bad all over the country. I have lived here for most of my life, so I had to learn to be creative. Some of my trade secrets have been recently revealed here in the magazine however, like last month when Spyke let everyone in on my Jacuzzi fashioned from a discarded bath tub and a fire pit. I am also credited with the invention of the original ‘beer bong’ when most of the bottles of beer exploded in the cooler, and instead of just wasting the beer, I rigged a piece of heater hose to the cooler drain, using a discarded piece of panty hose as a filter, and sat the cooler up on the back of the pickup to get elevation. I used a set of vice grip pliers to stop the flow when needed, and every drop of beer sans the broken glass and ice was joyously consumed by me and my friends. I’ve learned how to get free electric service, telephone service, and cable, and who could forget the riding lawnmower I created from an old bicycle and a reel mower.
When the economy failed, and foreclosures were abundant in the park, I was the original guy who would move dancers and strippers into the empty trailers and charge them rent! I know ya’ll saw that other dude on the news being arrested for the same thing, but he was just following my lead. Hell, I still have several happy strippers paying rent on trailers I don’t own, and since I was never destined to be famous, well - I’ll let the other guy have all the credit for that idea. Besides that I don’t particularly like jail. And on that subject, I guess it will be ok for me to reveal one of my better plans to all my dedicated readers.
A shocking revelation came to me when I was watching the TV the other day. In all of his infinite wisdom Obama forces his will on the AmeriKan public with his brand new health care bill. Yeah, I know he overstepped his boundaries by forcing us to purchase something that we can’t afford, and the face of the government has certainly changed should this be allowed to happen, but wait - there’s more! I just figured out that we don’t have to worry about it at all! It’s so simple. If you don’t buy the forced healthcare, then the government will fine you. If you couldn’t afford to buy healthcare, then you certainly couldn’t pay a fine, so then the government will have to stuff your broke ass in jail. This is where it really gets good. You see, while you’re in jail you get FREE healthcare! WOW! What a great idea. Free lodging free food, and free healthcare. Seems to be pretty easy, and just think of all the free sex. … But I wonder if the revolving door will hit us all in the butt. How long do you think you can stay in jail for such a ridiculous charge? I mean, how can they keep you for a significant period of time for not having the money to pay for a fine for not having healthcare? Probably not too long, but maybe just long enough for you to get healthy! Remember, after they let you go, you still won’t be able to find a job, or pay the fine, or buy any healthcare, so you can hang out for a while, and plan on cosmetic procedures that the government will pay for when they stick you back in the slammer. I seem to have the perfect solution for everything, right? Too sad that it’s all so true. ….
The New Week: A RIDER’S Perspective on Breaking Old Attitudes
The New Week: A Rider’s Perspective on Breaking Old Attitudes
For years, the days of the week have been saddled with stereotypes. Monday is the villain, Wednesday the slug, and Friday the savior. But as riders, we know that every day is what you make of it—especially when there’s an open road calling your name. Let’s ditch the old clichés and embrace each day as a perfect excuse to ride.
Monday: The so-called “dreaded” start to the week. But what if Monday was a blank slate instead? The roads are often quieter, and that crisp morning air feels like opportunity in motion. There’s no better way to kick off a new chapter than
leaning into the first curve of the week. Tuesday: Often dismissed as uneventful, Tuesday is a hidden gem. Less traffic, fewer distractions, and plenty of time to hit your stride. It’s the day for a midafternoon escape—maybe take the long way home or detour to that roadside diner you’ve been meaning to try.
Wednesday: Hump Day? Not for riders. Think of Wednesday as the sweet middle spot of the week—a chance to reflect on how far you’ve come and look forward to where you’re going. A scenic sunset ride can transform the midweek slump into a celebration of balance.
Thursday: The unsung hero of the week, Thursday is full of potential. The weekend
buzz is in the air, and the ride feels more thrilling as anticipation builds. Use Thursday as a chance to stretch your route or challenge yourself on a new trail.
Friday: The crowd favorite. A Friday ride is about freedom, the wind promising adventure. It’s the exclamation point at the end of the workweek.
Saturday: The ultimate playground for riders. Saturdays offer endless possibilities—whether it’s a group ride with your crew, exploring a new scenic route, or hitting up a rally. The open road is yours, free from the constraints of schedules. Every twist and turn feels like a celebration of life on two wheels.
Sunday: A day for reflection and pure joy. Sunday rides can be spiritual—connecting you to the road, the world, and yourself. Whether it’s a peaceful solo cruise at sunrise or a leisurely ride to your favorite spot, Sunday is about soaking in the freedom that riding brings and setting the tone for the week ahead.
Every day is a perfect riding day when you let go of tired stereotypes and embrace the joy of the journey. The road doesn’t care what day it is—and neither should you.
Be Good, Be Well, and Ride Safe
—Dave “Letterfly” Knoderer
Today’s review – Werewolves on Wheels. And where should I begin. … This film borders on the edge of, well, I’m not sure. Possibly a horror movie, and certainly a classic example of “biker exploitation” pieces, “Werewolves on Wheels” has it all for those of you who seek the alternative to ‘A’ List films.
The story begins as most ‘exploitation films’ do with a group of motorcycles cruising down a desert highway. But WAIT!! These are real “period” Harley-Davidson choppers! Cool! One star for authenticity. … These wonderful old machines are ridden by ‘actors’ that could possibly be (real) bikers. Or perhaps I should say the cast doesn’t feature ‘actors’ that you may have heard of. As it goes along, these folks calling themselves “The Devil’s Advocates” participate in the usual acts of violence seen
MOVIE REVIEW
in other biker exploitation films, such as roughing up rednecks, and creating havoc wherever they go. The group is led by “Adam” (whom you may have seen in Motor Psycho or Peyton Place) who is a tough and somewhat charismatic character, often seen accompanied by Helen, his old lady.
At one of their stops, another member of the gang “Tarot” begins his card reading, which brings some of the other members of the gang almost to the point of fear. This curiosity of the unknown brings them to follow Tarot to the place where he says “It’s at.”
This place, as it turns out is an old Church which is currently occupied by sect of Satanic Monks. The gang wanders through a wooded path to the courtyard of this church, where the Monks feed them bread and wine. Woops! Bad idea. Beware of monks bearing drugged gifts! All the bikers pass out, and one of the monks takes a single strand of Adam’s hair. Later they take Helen, and as the bikers sleep, the head Monk, known only as “One” throws a heck of a party. Uh, I mean ritual – which features the sacrifice of a cat, and subsequently Helen doing a naked snake and skull dance near the fire. Great stuff; and one extra star for good looking naked girls!
None of this makes sense until the bikers awaken and go inside the temple to retrieve Adam’s old lady. The Monks are each struck down by the bikers, but they touch each biker as they fall with some greasy looking stuff. I suppose this puts some sort of curse on them, but it is Adam and Helen that end up getting hairy! They
escape the temple, and head back out into the desert.
The next night, the gang camps out, and the usual party ensues with drugs, sex alcohol, and the insinuation that everyone is having a great time. A really great time until Mouse and Shirley are killed by a couple of werewolves. The group discovers them in the bottom of a ravine and assumes that they had fallen and broken their necks, and then attacked by coyotes or other wild animals. Close, but no cigar!
On another campout near an old junkyard, a gang member known as “Movie” is attacked by a fuzzy friend, and thrown into the fire. Little does the gang know the attacks are being carried out by Adam, and Helen! Some of the members come to Tarot to see if he knows what the heck is going on. The gang believes the Monks are attacking them, and the decision is made that they will go back to the temple, and beat up all the Monks.
The gang camps out near the temple. While the fire burns, Adam and Helen change into werewolves, and begin attacking the members. The bikers all grab sticks and fashion makeshift torches with which they attack the werewolves. Fire always seems to make werewolves pissed off. I haven’t figured out why. Anyway, shortly after Helen gets burned up, Adam still smoldering takes off on his motorcycle. The gang follows with torches blazing and eventually he crashes and burns – literally. The gang returns to the temple to finish off the monks, but as each biker tries to strike, the head Monk “One” stares at them and they all fall under the spell. The closing credits roll as the bikers ride into the camera, leaving the viewer to think ... Should I sing “Werewolves of One-Done,” or “Hey Hey We’re the MonkJEEZ.” I’ll give this one 3 out of 5 stars for the reasons mentioned above. I’ll go take a shower now. I guess I’m a “wash and wearwolf”….. Till next month.
By The Phantom
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Ron
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dgalletti@borntoride.com
Erick
IF ONLY FLORIDA GREW MOUNTAINS
Hey there my BTR friends. It’s February and last month it snowed in Florida, brrrrrr! That’s one of the reasons why Mike moved my feathered ass here from Northern Virginia. He was tired of raising me half parrot/half penguin.
Now, if Florida only grew mountains, I could accept it. So would Mike because he complains every day about cruising straight and flat. Now his only enjoyment is riding the bridges and screaming weeeeee!
Mike busts out, “hold on there little buddy. If Florida did grow mountains they would turn into volcanoes. I don’t think any of us would be happy and we would be riding away from the hills, literally. As for the twisty roads, I realize that I have to get out of town to find them. But my favorite so-called hill around here is the Sunshine Skyway Bridge and I yell at the top of my
lungs while crossing that one!” I squawk, “you sure do my dingbat daddy. That usually attracts a pelican into soaring beside us just to check me perched on the Fat Bird 3. All I can do is think; why fly when I can ride and screw that flapping shit, flying really is for the birds!
Speaking of birds, are you still maintaining your resolution of quitting cold turkey and pushing away from the deli meats counter?”
Mike babbles, “yes! Now I just get a couple of Cornish game hens or a rotisserie chicken and call it a day! It has been helping me lose weight and improve my health because deli meats are highly processed, high in sodium, saturated fat and preservatives. They can increase the risk of heart disease, cancer and other health issues! So you gotta give me some credit.”
I put one wing over my beak and cackle, “YOU are the bird brain in this duo and it shows. I’ve been maintaining my resolutions. But when I tried to settle the ultimate question of which came first, the chicken or the egg after calling GrubHub and DoorDash at the same time, the bird brain of a driver was working for both companies and showed up answering my request with a bag of each... I guess when I finally get that answered, it’ll come with the answer to; why did the chicken cross the road?”
Mike replies, “I think YOU are the bird brain here and you’ve got the beak to prove it! You know why the chicken crossed the road. We figured that fun fact out last summer while riding around Florida. It was to prove to the possum that it was possible!
Speaking of riding, I had to bundle up for Gibtown this year. It was a great turnout with all our favorite vendor friends, biker buddies and awesome bands. You got to sing back up with quite a few of them, including Jasmine Cain. I did see a little jealousy come out of you when we went
to watch the monkey racing. Did you really think you were the only one who can ride on a dog’s back?
Then the following weekend we rode up to Cotee River Bikefest in New Port Ritchie. The whole town opens their arms and doors to us bikers, similar to Leesburg Bikefest but not as big.”
I squawk, “yes! Those were 2 awesome events that I look forward to every year.
Speaking of looking forward, bike week in Daytona is right around the corner. I hope you’re not procrastinating and have a room for us already. That was another one of your resolutions and you know it’s one of our favorite events.”
Mike answers, “o ye of little faith and big feathers, I’m keeping that resolution and have got things in the works! It’s going to be a special bike week for a reason.
25 years ago in Daytona, a now defunct magazine called Bikes & Spikes was run by three females out of Minnesota. They got me fired up about you writing stories with this prophecy:
Once you understand the power of your thoughts, you won’t just think anything.
Once you understand the power of your words, you won’t just say anything.
Once you understand the power of your presence, you just won’t be anywhere. Those words have made us who we are today and drives our dreams for tomorrow.”
I cackle loudly, “we need a little wind therapy to keep the dream alive! I’ll finish up the story and you’ll drag the scoot out of the garage. You need to get my wings in the wind, your knees under the keys and the Fat Bird 3 wheels rolling down the road. Sunshine Skyway Bridge bound, weeeeee!”
— SPYKE
TAKE THE CHALLENGE
CHRISTIAN MOTORCYCLISTS ASSOCIATION
Here we are into February already. Christmas and New Years have come and gone. School has begun and work settles into a normal routine. It is time for the rides of the 2025 year. We have different bike weeks or fests like Daytona, Leesburg, and Nature Coast to name just a very few. We start planning our vacation time around the different events so we can get time off. Planning is such an important part. We want everything to go well this year and we have learned from our mistakes of the past.
It is good to plan and prepare. I remember an old saying in my Army days “proper planning promotes perfect performance”. There are so many details in the planning stages of all these upcoming events. There is one specific detail that I encourage you not to leave out. That is having your bike blessed this year and receiving the new 2025 sticker. There is such a peace of mind that comes with praying with someone from CMA over your ride and the upcoming year.
In the following text from the book of John in the Bible we read about those who have left God out of their lives and plans. Let’s read some selected verses from John chapter one. John 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. He was in the world, and the world
was made by him, and the world knew him not. He came unto his own, and his own received him not. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
Do you see how in this paragraph there were those who did not know or receive Jesus, who is the life and the light of the world? When we pray together, we invite the maker of all things into our lives and future. What’s more is that we can become children of God when we believe on His Name, the Name of Jesus.
Teach’s Takeaway,
- Plan to get your bike blessed early this year.
- The world knew Him “not”. Make it a point to know Him and receive Him.
- Believing on His Name, the Name of Jesus is the best plan you can ever make.
Let’s agree together that we will find favor as we make our plans for the upcoming riding year. All of our details will come together. We will have the resources that we need to make each ride happen. We will ride safely and find protection on the road and always return home. Ride together, ride safe and ride on.
