NOV 2021 #105
read it/watch it/ride it
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Contents
NOVEMBER ISSUE 105
FEATURES
_________
Bikertober Fest-Willie’s Chopper Show
9
The Ride - Introducing Noah Fuller
19
Sanctified Vintage Chopper Show
31
COLUMNS
19
_________
Nefarious James
25
Craven Morehead
27
Spyke & Mike
36
Christian Motorcycle Association
39
DEPARTMENTS
39
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Letter From The Editor Dave Nichols
4
Ride Safe Ride Smart
6
Movie Review - Choppertown Where it All Began
35
BTR KIDS-Happy Birthday Ronnie
39
ON THE COVER
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Jody Perewitz pulling into Willie’s Chopper Show Biketoberfest 2021
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BORN TO RIDE Magazine
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Letter from the Editor
PUBLISHER
DAVE NICHOLS
Ron Galletti 813-785-3895 888-795-5779 rg@borntoride.com
CO PUBLISHER
Deb Galletti dgalletti@borntoride.com
FROM THE HELM
EDITOR
Dave Nichols editor@borntoride.com
ART DIRECTOR
Peter Soutullo art@borntoride.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Erick Runyon
ART DEPARTMENT
Juan Guzman, Jared Hartman, Erick Runyon , Peter Soutullo, Craig Miller, Beatnik Steve Werner art@borntoride.com
WEB DESIGN/ELECTRONIC MEDIA Juan Guzman
OFFICE ADMINISTRATION Nancy Ray nray@borntoride.com
MULTI-MEDIA SPECIALIST Jared Hartman, Craig Miller Jasper Harris
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ROAD CREW
Vick Velosity, Mark Crowder, Doug Bright, Birdman Mike,
SCENIC RIDE CONSULTANT Steve Finzelber-Finz Finds
ON THE ROAD TEAM
The John & Heather Show
CONTRIBUTORS
JP Brady, Neale Bayly, Susan Hurst, Spyke & Mike, Eric Albright, Eric Vician, Myra McElhaney, Paul Murray, James Gladstone Greg Blackwell, Felicia Morgan, John Sullivan
PHOTOGRAPHERS
Ron & Selena Hawks, Chris Miller, Scott Odel, Eric Albright, Chopper Dave, JP Brady, Erick Runyon, Craig Miller
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LEESBURG AND MORE IS COMING! HOWDY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! We’ve got an action-packed issue of Born To Ride for ya for November and we are givin’ thanks in every way possible for the opportunity to bring you the very best biker entertainment on the planet! We’re featuring Leesburg Bikefest on the cover to remind you that Leesburg is comin’ November 12th through the 14th with six hot body contests, the Rat’s Hole custom bike show, stunt shows, and a mess o’ major bands to keep your toes tappin’ for three killer days of biker fun. In this issue, check out cool coverage of Biketoberfest and Willie’s Tropical Tattoo ride-in chopper show by Erick Runyon. It’s the wildest show in Daytona! We’ll introduce Noah Fuller and his amazing two-wheeled journey that will remind you why we all ride. Get our movie review of the classic 2005 biker flick Choppertown: The Sinners, where SoCal bikers ride their asses off! Not enough for ya? We’ll drag a classic Craven Morehead column out of the Born To Ride Vault, Nefarious James will make sure we remember to give thanks this holiday season, and Spyke & Mike will make you laugh so hard that cranberry sauce will fly outta your nose! All this and more is just a page turn away. But wait, there’s more. I am proud
to announce that the very first issue of Classic Easyriders magazine will be on newsstands, in bookstores, grocery and convenience stores on December 7th and you’ll notice a familiar name on the masthead. I’m talkin’ about Born To Ride’s fearless leader Ron Galletti who has been named Southeast Consultant for Classic Easyriders. You’ll start to see Ron’s handiwork in full features on Motofest, Choppertown Live and more in future issues. Plus, since I’m the editor of both Born To Ride AND Classic Easyriders, you’ll witness the might and wonder of what happens when these two motorcycle media powerhouses come together for the betterment of riders everywhere. Hell, the future’s so bright… we’ll have to wear shades all the frickin’ time! Don’t forget to subscribe to Born To Ride and Classic Easyriders (subscribe at http://classiceasyriders.com) so you never miss a minute of all the biker goodness we have in store for you, and please join the Born To Ride Facebook Group so you can be a part of this kickass two-wheeled family. Let’s ride! — Dave Nichols editor@borntoride.com
Celebrate Veterans Day this month and every month.
THANK YOU VETERANS
You should be especially aware at intersections, where other vehicles can cross your path of travel. There are many things to scan for, including traffic devices, road surfaces, and the traffic and pedestrians around you. In a slow, tight turn, such as turning around in a parking lot, it helps to counterweight by leaning in the opposite direction of the motorcycle and direction of the turn. Put pressure on the outside footrest. Info: www.msf-usa.org
JAMES IRWIN, CSA
JAMIE “THE BOSS” IRWIN
ARE YOU ON MEDICARE OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS? AVOID BEING VICTIMIZED BY FALSE MEDICARE TV COMMERCIALS, PRINT AND TELEMARKETING SCAMS!
CALL US NOW AND DO SOMETHING YOU WILL BE “THANKFUL” FOR!
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MENTION YOU ARE A BIKER AND JAMES OR JAMIE WILL PERSONALLY TAKE YOUR REQUEST. OUR SERVICES ARE FREE OF CHARGE, OBLIGATION OR JUDGEMENT. ”IF YOU CALL US YOU WON’T EXPERIENCE THE TYPICAL DREADED INSURANCE REVIEW THAT YOU CAN’T WAIT TO GET OVER. THE CALL WILL BE FUN AND ENJOYABLE FROM START TO FINISH, THAT IS OUR GUARANTEE.” WE OFFER EXPERT ADVICE ON LIFE INSURANCE, WEALTH PRESERVATION AND SAFE (NOT RISKY) WEALTH CREATION.
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Photography by Erick Runyon
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The Ride INTRODUCING NOAH FULLER
WHAT WOULD YOU DO AT AGE 19 GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO
COMPLETELY RESET YOUR LIFE? Here’s what I did. I quit my disappointing construction job and hit the road on my 2020 Harley-Davidson Softail. The 8,000-mile cross country adventure began, as I was destined to encounter some of the most beautiful places in the country for the very first time. This is the opportunity given to me in August 2021 and boy did I take it!
**Continued on page 22
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I started west of Atlanta and worked my way Northeast with two other riders and no destination in sight, no deadline, just “The Ride,” and nothing else. Riding through Blueridge and Appalachia country gives such a good picture of the true routes of the south. As good as those roads were through the Carolinas, Virginia, and West Virginia, the best was yet to come. My most memorable experience of the first leg was most definitely Michigan. Seeing the freshwater ocean that is Lake Michigan blew my mind. Coming from Florida, I’m accustomed to saltwater with vast horizons over the Gulf and the Atlantic Ocean. Knowing this was a Great Lake of freshwater was an experience almost beyond belief. From towns like Charlevoix and Petoskey we then headed past Mackinaw City into the many lesser-known wonders of the upper peninsula of Michigan. We rode beyond Great Lake Huron in Sault Ste Marie with the great Soo Locks. Next, we ventured west, exploring an untamed wilderness and riding the winding roads and windy coast of Lake Superior, the greatest of all the lakes. From there we continued the trek west, headed for Sturgis, the home of the world’s largest motorcycle rally. Who could believe it? I was a 19-year-old kid loading up his bike, with no windshield, no cruise control, no saddlebags, no fairings, bare bones stock, riding across America and making his way to Sturgis. This after experiencing Bike Week in Daytona for the first time just a few months earlier. During our stay in Sturgis, we stayed at a hotel in Rapid City as our base camp for day rides throughout the Black Hills.
During the trip I became aware of an amazing group called Bunk-A-Biker; a community of likeminded bikers from all walks of life who banded together with a common interest, our love of The Ride. Throughout the world, many members of the Bunk-A-Biker community offer their home to fellow bikers as they travel and explore from the seat of their motorcycles. Check it out on Facebook, or do a Google search. The people I met along the way had such big impacts on me, inspiring me to keep pursuing BTR 22 | BORNTORIDE.COM
“I’m accustomed to saltwater with vast horizons over the Gulf and the Atlantic Ocean. Knowing this was a Great Lake of freshwater was an experience almost beyond belief.” my love of riding and supported me every step of my journey. After leaving Sturgis, we followed the setting sun towards Wyoming, one of my favorite states. Vast open plains span the state, and the stunning mountain ranges of Big Horn National Park, Chief Joseph Highway, and Beartooth Pass as we moved north toward Red Lodge, Montana, were undeniably magnificent.
At ths point in the journey, I knew I wanted to go the next leg alone and experience our beautiful country by myself, just me and the bike. So I set off, stopping in Colorado on my way through New Mexico and Texas. Riding through Texas made me aware of just how big it truly is. I hit three major cities and even then I knew I had only scratched the surface of Texas culture.
With more than three weeks on the road, my body was telling me it was time to start heading east at a leisurely pace, although I had a few more roads and cities in mind. At the top of the list was New Orleans. Unfortunately, Mother Nature had hurricane plans that sent me farther north with the trip to the Big Easy relinquished to another day and another ride. With four weeks on the road and my base location 600 miles away, I pointed my bike in that direction. After more than 12 hours, I rolled into base camp, having accomplished my task of setting out on a journey of self-discovery and connection with other passionate riders like me, my Tribe.
Throughout this journey I awakened a passion in myself, a passion to ride, to explore, to make new friends, new memories, and most of all, to answer the call of the road. I’m thankful for everyone who has helped me along the way of this newfound discovery, the bunk-a-bikers, the friends, my supporters, and Born To Ride Magazine for giving me the opportunity to share my story with others. See you on the road, because I was Born to Ride!
Noah Fuller, follow him at FullerRides IG and Youtube
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PRESENTED BY:
A R E YO U A N I D I OT ? Nefarious James on Giving Thanks Well, Yee-haw! Here we are in November. Almost the end of another year. So I sit here thinking to myself about the month of November. It happens to be the month that we celebrate Thanksgiving. A holiday for which we celebrate the obvious, and that is… thanks. It could be thanks for many things. Happenings that have gone on or just being thankful for being alive. Read any posts on social media and we will see how many people and loved ones others including ourselves lose every day. So that being said, take a moment and think about all of the good things that have gone on with your life this year and try not to focus on the negative. Easier said than done I know, but what the hell, give it a shot.
“FOR THE ONES THAT FIT INTO THE IDIOT CATEGORY, I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT YOUR VEHICLE BREAKS DOWN IN THE DRIVEWAY AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE AN UBER TO YOUR FESTIVITIES...” With the holidays just around the bend, I can’t help but have a topic come to mind that really burns my ass. And that’s how I will start this month’s dissertation. The topic is the way a lot of individuals out there drive like they’ve never driven a
vehicle before and are complete morons without any respect, courtesy, or regard for those around them. Got an eyeopener for some of you out there, you’re not the only one on the road. I’m talking about the morons who need to run up the merge lane and cut somebody off just so they could be the first loser at a traffic light without worrying about anyone else’s safety. You’re an idiot. To those who speed down the highway at twice the speed limit just so they can be first in line to sit on an exit ramp without worrying about who they’ve cut off along the way, you’re an idiot. To the one doing their make-up or are on the cell phone while thinking that they’re doing a good job driving, but in all actuality are either traveling half the speed limit or are all over the road, you’re an idiot. To the person on the highway who thinks it’s okay to do 10 miles per hour slower than the posted speed limit in the fast lane, you’re an idiot. There are so many more examples I can end up reading out but I think you get the idea. These are the same people that are not watching what they’re doing or where they’re going and have no consideration for their fellow human being. Somebody in their head lied to them, telling them that they are the most special person on earth and everyone else doesn’t matter. I witnessed these massive acts of stupidity every day while I work on the roads. The amount of accidents and mishaps have increased leaps and bounds, and when
it happens, those idiots try to blame everybody else when they are the cause. We all like to say “watch out for motorcycles.” Well, many seem to forget when off your motorcycle and in that cage that you’re now the one everybody talks about that needs to watch out for those other motorcycles. I’m not saying every person out there is in the group I am describing. There are people out there who do drive responsibly. To them I say, thank you and keep up the good work. For the reckless ones who think they’re the only ones that matter out there, I have this to say, you’re an idiot. Just remember that the roads are going to get busier as the tourists come back south and as the holidays come closer. I’m hoping that everyone has a safe and happy holiday season. For the ones that fit into the idiot category, I can only hope that your vehicle breaks down in the driveway and you have to take an Uber to your festivities. And hopefully, the driver you have is not an idiot. Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and most of all, be thankful for what you have and for those positive people that you have in your life. This is Nefarious James signing off and wishing you all the very best that the holiday season has to give you. Remember that gifts come in many forms, not just material things.
Tell Jim what you’re thinking, what do you want to say to him? editor@borntoride.com
— Nefarious James American BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 25
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!
JOHN & HEATHER WEDDING SWEETNESS
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MARRIAGE!
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Craven Moorehead
As a writer, I occasionally run into certain situations that absolutely prevent me from making a definitive decision regarding the piece of prose that I am working on. This often blocks me from making the best presentation of a column that I do for any particular entity. As a run of the mill poor redneck trailer trash biker, I often don’t see things ahead on the road. At certain times you may have a destination in mind for the things that you must accomplish. Sometimes everything goes smoothly and you go gather all the things required for the task and simply return home or to the job site. On other occasions the regular daily process of obtaining that particular laundry list of items may be cut short due to a vendor’s lack of stock or perhaps when other unforeseen obstacles rear their ugly heads. I have a myriad of examples but recently a few come to mind. I may have discussed in the past the lack of availability of walls for sale at Wal-Mart. I also indicated that there were no steins on sale at Stein-Mart. Everyone already knows that you can’t buy a home at Home Depot or an office at Office Depot so I refuse to continue my simplistic diatribe regarding misleading corporate names. I’m not a real big fan of major corporations anyhow so I can’t try to suggest a better title for those outlets. Either way, we all must obtain the things needed to accomplish the task at hand so when you know the necessity and have the wherewithal to get the items required, you simply venture out and acquire the goods. Once I needed to get a couch for the trailer. Guests who had the nuts to visit the trailer park (this includes Mike and Spyke) were getting tired of sitting on the old greasy milk crates that I use for working on motorcycles and other ‘high altitude’ work, so I took my old truck and went to a used furniture store to attempt to make a swimmingly wonderful deal on a slightly used sofa that I had seen sitting in front of the place as I was riding by on the bagger. I mean, it looked pretty good and I suppose that the price was reasonable,
but why did the proprietor try to bundle the deal with an “Occasional Chair”??? I didn’t need (and didn’t have room for) anything except the sofa. Besides that—“What the hell is an Occasional Chair?” I asked. For some reason, the owner of the business couldn’t come up with a good answer and suggested that it was something that only was used every now and then by people that didn’t desire to sit upon the floor, as was the custom in his country. I figured all this out pretty quickly and left with only the couch. I just couldn’t get the concept of the additional furniture that would be used only ‘occasionally.’ Besides, I’m no slave to fashion or décor so I left befuddled regarding the suggestion that I would need such a piece. The ‘Occasional Sheriff’ on the other hand is something that I am somewhat familiar with. I remember a time when I acted as the ‘designated dummy’ that was obligated me to go fetch some brew for a party. I went to a liquor store that had a pretty good deal on But Light and I was able to load six 18 packs on the bagger. Yeah, I admit that it looked kinda funny, but I had used a bunch of bungee cords and a short piece of rope to load the brew on the rear seat and luggage rack. On a dark back road a good distance from town, I was simply cruising along at the obligatory 10 miles over the speed limit when I was spied by the ‘occasional sheriff.’ Usually, no law enforcement personnel ever hang out around this area due to the lack of ‘business’ to be done in this vicinity. But I suppose that this wasn’t my lucky day. I was surprised when I saw the blue lights come on, largely because I wasn’t going all that fast and I never worried about DUI or anything else because I had only consumed a couple of beers before I went on the run. But as usual the occasional sheriff had that text-book list of demands. “Driver License, Insurance, Immigration Card and keep yer hands where I can see ‘em”… I’m just sitting there on the bike on the side of the road while he checks all my credentials and when comes back he had some interesting questions: “Do you know why I stopped you?” To which I responded “Uhhh, I guess cause you wanted to check out my really cool bike” (A moment of silence) “Boy, you gonna drink all this beer by yerself?” Well, probably not a good answer but I quipped “Damn, I hope so!” (A longer moment of silence) After what felt like an hour, he handed me back my license and said “I know you ain’t right but have a safe night, and don’t try to drink all that friggin beer by yourself!” I said thanks and “remember an 18 pack is only a good start!” I haven’t seen any other occasional sheriffs in that area again, but I realized that everyone should keep their eyes open! (Including myself). Now that the terrors of Halloween are over, we must prepare ourselves for the most horrifying holiday of all which is commonly called Thanksgiving. This particular celebration is always loaded with family and friends who really don’t want to do anything other than fight. I have written before about the horrors of this special day, and the haunts of Halloween pale in comparison to the zombies, ghosts and miscreants that will try to celebrate you making them dinner—and then destroy your life as you know it, simply because they love you. (Allegedly) Try to make the best of it, and until next month—“Speed Safely!” CRAVEN
I knew him for over 22 years, there will never be another Man like him..
R.I.P. Craven Moorehead Your Words Will Live On Forever
Ron Galletti
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THE FIRST ANNUAL SANCTIFIED VINTAGE CHOPPER SHOW WAS A BLAST!
not some awkward gathering. Everybody at the show was friendly, happy and excited to see what would roll in next. Everyone was laughing, talking and enjoying each other’s style, each one being a little different. The best part about this show is that no one felt left out.
of sharing the love of motorcycles, dirt bikes to trikes.
The show supported a local organization called KARE for Kids, Inc. The amazing people of KARE are extremely important; HiRevzGarage.com and Law Tigers of every year KARE buys Christmas presents Georgia presented a one-of-a-kind show. for over 500 children in need. KARE also The stresses of building a show and nine The Auraria Community Club was a perfect provides year-round assistance. They use months of preparation all faded away by venue with bikes covering the whole front the funds they raise to provide necessities 10am on the morning of October 23rd as entrance and vintage parts scattered all for children. Among some of the items awesome bikes started to roll in. Soon around. The smell of the Pathfinder’s KARE has purchased over the years are after, Big Don Spurlin was picking the Family BBQ was intoxicating and the winter coats, shoes, clothing, medicine, guitar and singing the blues. It’s estimated smoked flavor was even better. The eye glasses, a list of items required for that over 80 custom motorcycles were custom Killing Time Clock and belt buckles boot camp, educational resources, summer counted throughout the day. made for amazingly cool wearable trophies; school fees, toys, and more. All day long bikes were rolling in and an award that all could be proud of. There Some amazing companies gave to the blasting out, loud pipes screaming behind were 20 different categories of all types show like Lowbrow Customs, Born them. The atmosphere of the show felt like bikes, all in one place for a common goal To Ride, Vanilla Cycles, Death Trap one big family reunion, but a good one, BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 31
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Company, Phuk Dup Garage, Nick’s Choppers, Two Wheel Trash, SiK Cycles, Silver City Metalworks, The Ton, GA Peach Chopper Trash, and Low Class High Standards. All gave some crazy cool merch to auction off or giveaway. Other companies to lend a hand included K&K Towing and Bigfoot Septic Pumping. Steph’s Trophies and Embroidery printed up the killer t-shirts for the show as well.
When all was said and done, the Sanctified show was a big success. Everyone involved was pleasantly surprised at the success of the first show and the generosity shown by all that were there. I’m truly thankful for all who helped make this show happen. My heart was so full that I got a little choked up at the end of the show. I love you all dearly and pray that you all are blessed. I also want to give a very special thank you to Marie Lumpkin and Greg Bryant. I have no idea what I would have done without either of you. God sends you Angels when you need them the most. Again, thank you all for everything and thank you to everyone involved. This show is special and I can’t wait untill next year! Be Blessed, —Jordan
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JAMES IRWIN, CSA
JAMIE “THE BOSS” IRWIN
ARE YOU ON MEDICARE OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS? AVOID BEING VICTIMIZED BY FALSE MEDICARE TV COMMERCIALS, PRINT AND TELEMARKETING SCAMS!
CALL US NOW AND DO SOMETHING YOU WILL BE “THANKFUL” FOR!
833.467.2865
MENTION YOU ARE A BIKER AND JAMES OR JAMIE WILL PERSONALLY TAKE YOUR REQUEST. OUR SERVICES ARE FREE OF CHARGE, OBLIGATION OR JUDGEMENT. ”IF YOU CALL US YOU WON’T EXPERIENCE THE TYPICAL DREADED INSURANCE REVIEW THAT YOU CAN’T WAIT TO GET OVER. THE CALL WILL BE FUN AND ENJOYABLE FROM START TO FINISH, THAT IS OUR GUARANTEE.” WE OFFER EXPERT ADVICE ON LIFE INSURANCE, WEALTH PRESERVATION AND SAFE (NOT RISKY) WEALTH CREATION.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! MULTI STATE LOCATIONS | NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS
401 EAST JACKSON (SUN TRUST FINANCIAL CENTER) | SUITE 2340 TAMPA, FL, 33602 | 813.725.1011
A CLASSIC LOOK BACK TO THE DVD THAT STARTED IT ALL FOR ZACK COFFMAN
Over the last 20 or so years, since Harley got Malcolm Forbes and Mickey Rourke to be the centerpieces of their We-Ain’t-aWorkin’-Man’s-Motorcycle-Anymore, shift of market consciousness, one of the things that has been exorcised out of the motorcycle market and media is the hospitality of the working grunge machinist. Your local bike shop used to be a place where you could stop by
Filmmakers Zack Coffman and Scott Di Lalla are good friends who love bikes and are insiders in the culture of motorcycle brotherhood in southern CA.
One World Studios, Filmmakers Zack Coffman and Scott Di Lalla are becoming iconic. They’re just a couple of regular guys who love bikes and like to tell stories as they occur. While there are planned events in their work nothing is scripted, and often stuff does not go off a planned. The films are pure and rough—lacking anything that might make them seem contrived or counterfeit. This not to say the films are without sentimentality. There are some extreme moments in these works and there is the expression of deep respect and love between friends forged in brotherhood. To experience the beauty of craft, the support of community, and the celebration of life these guys will carry you kindly to the place where the truth about us dwells. Following are three reviews of documentaries from One World Studios. KC O’Dunn aka Chaplin Plato, Choppertown, The Sinners, a motorcycle fabrication documentary film by Zack Coffman & Scott Di Lalla
on your way home from work with a 12 pack and share a beer with they guys who kept your life rollin’. You could sit in the petroleum thick air and BS about women and cars and women and fishin’ and huntin’ and cars and bikes and women and guns and. … The bike shop was a sanctuary. Filmmakers Zack Coffman and Scott Di Lalla are good friends who love bikes and are insiders in the culture of motorcycle brotherhood in southern California. Over beers they decided the off-the-rack, buy-in mentality of the Sunday rider was eclipsing the truth and the authentic relationships of those who ride were being lost by distraction. There was a time when the denim jacket was enough to keep the wind at bay, or your work overalls would get you to the club with your good clothes under; but after a while the black leather jacket and vest became a badge of the masses. Conformity confounded the community and riding was reduced to a few highly organized bike nights through the week and a Sunday putt for some noble cause. ‘Nothing wrong with noble causes but noble causes comes in a variety of faces and need— meaning different things to different social circles. Sometimes the noble cause is helping a friend get his bike back on the road. When the film was being figured out by Di Lalla and Coffman they fell into the perfect scene. They knew a guy who was a friend of a guy who was about to launch a build out of an Evo motor on a bobber frame using the support of junk yards and the collection of odd materials accumulated over the years by the Sinners. This guy is a Sinner. The Sinners are what the riding life was and is still, but conformists would be very uncomfortable among them. The Sinners are the ultra network of brothers who span hundreds of miles of California and support each other with everything a person might need; even haircuts. One of those rare republican societies where there is complete support of one another and the hierarchy is loosely defined but staunchly protected ... a sanctuary. This is the sweet spot where Coffman and Di Lalla chronicle the love, the society, and the brotherhood. The meaningful details of wrenching and welding and dancing and singing and bar fighting and playing hard driving and soulful music. This is a very good documentary and in fact has become the cornerstone of One World Studios. It was the European debut of this film that was the purpose of One World Tour Europe. The guys documented an amazing journey to the Old-World to show the film and to meet Europe’s underground rouges of custom bikes and cars. www.choppertown.net
Do you have a favorite Biker Movie we don’t have? Let us know: info@borntoride.com
THE PHANTOM MOVIE REVIEW
BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 35
T U R K E Y DAY D E L I R I U M
We’re into that frightful fourth Thursday month my BTR friends. Even though it’s only one day, the preceding weeks are scary times for me and my cousins. November is synonymous for many things; cooler weather, breaking out the riding leathers, the start of snowbird season and that dreaded turkey day known to you humans as Thanksgiving. You’re not going to get any thanks from me or my feathered family. The changing of the leaves lets us know that it’s time for the chopping of the heads that we all have nightmares about. There’s nothing worse for us fowl than to see any one of our cackling cousins running around with their heads cut off. Why did those dreaded pilgrims choose a gobbler to take center stage on such a festive day anyways? Years ago, they could have picked from many other farm or wildlife animals. Perhaps deer day, muskrat month, fall fox festival, hog harvest time, meteorological mountain goat, Autumn alligator, or brrrr… bear month. But no, they chose my larger kinfolk, Tom the turkey. So what did he do wrong? All that fella does is stand around and gobble. The poor fat bastard can’t even fly, his feathers are prettier than the hens, he always forms a letter “J” when pooping, and now every year there are over 46 million gobbling god-brothers slaughtered for human consumption. Mike breaks in, “Damn Spyke, what a change of heart you’re having. Last year at this time you were laying around and partying it up with your cousin, Sir Roaster Chicken, cracking open his Coronas and letting him work the remote. Now you’ve done a complete 180. Instead of opening a beer, you’re crying in one.” “I know Fall is rough for you and your buzzard buddies but complaining to me or BTR 36 | BORNTORIDE.COM
your avid BTR readers doesn’t provide much shout out for the cause,” Mike continues. “You need to be more proactive and go global. With your keyboard savvy beak become a pecking poster parrot. Start Facebook and Instagram pages spreading the word about your beliefs.” I squawk, “Dude! For being a bird brain yourself, you do occasionally have some great ideas. I think I’ll call the page F.O.W.L.S., Free Our Winged Legendary Society and reach out to uninformed humans worldwide. Who knows, I might even get turkeys out of the combined meat section and end all this turkey ham, turkey pastrami, and turkey bologna bullshit going on in the grocery stores today.” Mike hollers, “You should get vegetarians working for the cause by promoting the vegan-friendly Tofurky roast. Then maybe you can have the all-vegan Foo Fighters tribute band, The Tofu Fighters, create you a theme song about why tofu crossed the road. It would be so cool! They could name it `I ain’t really chicken.` Although Spyke, it’s just a curd to me that tofu is a little overrated.”
Don’t cook the chicken, just let it run! Redrum, Redrum, The egg will just be an egg. Redrum, redrum, Until the chicken and rooster get to play. Redrum, redrum, Eventually both will get to see the frying pan one day. Redrum, redrum, redrum…” “Here is the first verse to the second song: Turkey, turkey, full and fat, November’s near, you will soon go splat! They’ll roast you up and slice you thin, What a mess you’re surely in. Filled with stuffing and covered with gravy, It’s rough to see you lying there so bravely. What would truly give you Joy, is a turkey made of soy. A table full of eyeless treats, is what all you vegans want to eat.
Bring on the stuffing made with nuts and beans, Nothing plated that had legs or spleens. Don’t forget the bread, pasta and seeds,
I turn and squawk, “Your tofu sandwich is a few slices short and tasteless. I’m already three steps ahead of you. I’ve been working with my buddies Lou and Dan Drumz, musicians in one of my favorite local bands, Dracula Parrot. We’ve been in the studio rehearsing two songs called; `A chicken comes before the egg` and `no turkey please, gimme tofu, bread and beans`.” “The first song starts out: Redrum, redrum, Don’t crack the egg until you have another one. Redrum, redrum,
Fill the table with your non-dairy needs. Enjoy your no-turkey day, y’all meatless eating machines.”
Tapping his fingers to the beat of the lyrics, Mike replies, “Very cool and catchy. Maybe you could get a few hens on stage doing some background clucking. That would be an awesome show.” I cackle, “Great idea, Mike. I’ll run it by my brothers in the band. Right now I’ve got a lot of pecking to do before you get your knees under the keys, my wings inside the window, and the wheels of the truck rolling down the road taking me to practice.” — SPYKE
Do you have a riding pet story? Let us know, Spyke wants to feature them! editor@borntoride.com
WILLIE READS IT!
RONNIE and EMILY’S
CHRISTIAN MOTORCYCLISTS ASSOCIATION When it comes to riding motorcycles, even the bestlaid plans can go awry. It doesn’t matter what the weather maps call for, it doesn’t take much to radically mess things up. Recently my wife and I went to an annual bike event and at first, it seemed like a great day. The weather was a little on the hot side, but the sky wasn’t terribly overcast, so off we went! We were looking forward to seeing some friends, hear some good music, and raise funds for the group that was hosting the event. Being that I had not ridden in a group in a while, due to some medical issues, we rode down to the event by ourselves. Along the way a friend showed up on our tail, so we were not totally alone. It was a comfortable ride, and we enjoyed being in the wind. Upon arrival, we saw a lot of familiar faces and had a good time visiting a number of people. After lunch, the sky grew a little darker, and we heard some thunder off in the distance. We checked our phone radar map and felt that if we got on our way we could beat the storm and miss what looked like rain. As we were about five miles from the event the bottom fell out. We were not
wet, we were drenched! The rain was so hard I had a very difficult time even seeing the road. Even though we were already soaked, we pulled under a gas island and put on our rain jackets to help us stay a little warmer. After a while, the rain let up and we decided to venture on our way. We no sooner got rolling and lightning crackled around us, the sky went dark and the pouring rain resumed with a fury. We were on a wrong road and all I could do was cry out as the Psalmist does in Psalm 12:1, “Help, Lord!” It was at that point I stopped at a road that let me know where I was. I noticed a blue pickup behind us, and I asked God to hold the pickup far enough away from us so it would not run into us. Strange thing, that truck had plenty of opportunities to pull out and pass us, as I was going under the speed limit because I could not see through the downpour. That truck stayed well behind us. It followed us for many miles until the sun came out and the rain stopped. What was amazing was that once the sun came out, there was no place for that truck to have turned off. The truck that had followed and protected us, just simply disappeared. When you face the storms of life, call out to the One who can calm those storms. It can be as simple a plea as “Help, Lord!” He will hear you and meet your every need.
Check out BornToRide.com for more articles from Christian Motorcyclists Association
In The Wind, Denny Dingler
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