AUDIO
Jokes, stories and anecdotes as told by native English speakers
STORY TIME
e m i t y r o t S In this section you can hear two native English speakers telling each other a joke. This authentic conversation will really help with your listening skills.
The Note Listen to the conversation and answer these questions: 1. How do the couple communicate with one another? 2. Why does the woman have to wake up early the next day? 3. What is the punch-line? John: So, have you, have you heard any good jokes or stories recently? Nigel: Actually, no I heard one the other day, it was really good actually. John: Yeah? What? How does it go? Nigel: Well, it’s, basically, it’s like, it’s about, it’s about this couple, you know, and they’re having a bit of a bad time. John: Oh, that, that sounds like my life [mumbling]. Nigel: Yeah, well, exactly, they’re arguing all the time, you know, they’ve, they’ve stopped talking to one another. John: Yeah, I’ve never actually reached that stage. Nigel: No, [mumbling]. Well, they’ve stopped talking to each other and they write everything down. John: Oh, that’s a good idea, yeah. If you don’t wanna talk to your wife or your girlfriend, write, write down a note. Nigel: Exactly, then there’s no confusion, no arguing. Everything’s nice and calm. Oh, it sounds quite good to me. John: Yeah, yeah. Nigel: Anyway, what happened was, erm, basically they were writing messages to, to each other (yeah, yeah), and one day the girl
says, erm, I’m going to sleep now… John: … She writes it down… Nigel: Yeah, yeah, she doesn’t say it obviously, it’s, it’s written conversation. So, she writes down on a note, “I’m going to sleep now, wake me at seven o’clock”. She had an important meeting, and she had to, get, go off, you know [OK, OK]. And, so he wrote on a bit, on a bit of paper, “OK” and gave it back to her [yeah, yeah]. Next morning [yeah], Jane wakes up after a lovely long sleep [yeah, yeah], looks at her watch and it’s eleven o’clock. John: What? He didn’t get the note, or something? Nigel: No, no, no, no. And, and, and like, she demands an explanation, written down, of course, and then she notices a message by the side of her bed, saying, “it’s seven o’clock, wake up”. John: Ahhhh! So, he’d, he had written the note… Nigel: … He’d written the note. John: Oh, I see, he’d written it, and he hadn’t said it (yeah). He got his own back. Nigel: He got his own back, he did. John: Very good, very good, excellent. GLOSSARY a punch-line n the end of a joke or story, and the part that makes it funny a couple n two people who are having a relationship to mumble vb to speak in a low voice that is difficult to hear and understand to argue vb to have a violent discussion about something I’ve never actually reached that stage exp I have never been in that situation
to write down phr vb to write something on a piece of paper usually a note for yourself wanna exp inform want to erm n this is the sound that people make when they are thinking about what to say a watch n a “clock” that you wear on your arm and that tells you the time he got his own back exp he got his revenge = he did something bad to someone who had done something bad to him
USEFUL VOCABULARY to help you with the story:
12
a watch
a note
a bed
a couple
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