B3 Magazine First Anniversary Issue July 2013

F I R ST A N N I V E R S A R Y

I S S U E

BUMP • BABY & BEYOND JULY - SEPTEMBER 2013 • Vol.1 Issue 5

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Tummy Time with

Tami Chynn Planes, Trains and Automobiles:

PAGES of

Vintage

Travel Style

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THE CARIBBEAN'S PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE • WWW.B3CARIBBEANMAGAZINE.COM

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BUMP

THE MOST AWARDED

ALL-INCLUSIVE

FAMILY RESORTS.

EVER.

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Certificate of Excellence

2013 WINNER Italian Village at Beaches Turks & Caicos

Travel + Leisure Magazine’s World’s Best Hotels for Families

Caribbean's Leading

Caribbean’s Leading Honeymoon Resort Family All-Inclusive (2 years in a row)

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B e a c h e s ® R e s o r t s c o n t i n u e s t o r e c e i v e a w a r d a f t e r a w a r d . I t ’s n o t j u s t b e c a u s e o f t h e s e r v i c e d e l i v e r e d b y o u r professionally trained butlers, or the luxurious family suites in all of our resor ts in Jamaica and Turks & Caicos. And it’s not only innovations like a sur f simulator †, one of the most comprehensive scuba programs * in the Caribbean, our Ver y Impor tant K ids ( V.I.K.) Camp, our par tnership with Sesame Stre et ® or our locations on the best beaches in the islands.

It’s a ll of th e se thin g s to g eth e r, a nd so mu c h m o re, that ma ke u s th e m ost awa rd e d a ll-in clu s i ve fa mil y re so r ts. Eve r.

s for Everyone Resor t

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Call your Travel Agent or 1-888-BEACHES • beaches.com †Available at Beaches Turks & Caicos. *Scuba included for certified divers. PADI resort dive courses, night dives and kids’ dive programs available at an additional cost.

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CO NT EN TS JULY-SEPTEMBER 2013

{Cover Story>

22 Tummy Time with Tami

F I R S T A N N I V E R S A R Y

{Bump>

{Baby>

I S S U E

BUMP • BABY & BEYOND JULY - SEPTEMBER 2013 • Vol.1 Issue 5

16 BABY LUXE 44 Fab in 5 with MAC Cosmetics Function meets luxury creating fine baby products

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MAC transforms our Glama Mama in five easy steps

34 A GENTLER WAY TO BIRTH 46 GLAMA MAMA: YENDI PHILLIPS A look at Hypnobirthing

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Tummy Time with

Tami Chynn Planes, Trains and Automobiles:

PAGES of

Vintage

Travel Style

36 WHEN ALL IS NOT WELL 52 B3 MD One woman's encounter with loss

Our resident ObGyn answers your questions

40 AROMATHERAPY FOR YOUR 54 MY BABY CAN'T READ BUMP AND BEYOND Or can she?

Alternative wellness approaches for Mummies-to-be

42 WHAT TO EXPECT IN LABOUR AND BIRTH J U LY - S E P T E M B E R 2 0 1 3

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ON THE COVER Cover Model: Tami Chynn Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot in Studio: TeamDWP Studios, Kingston, Jamaica Styling & Hair: Angelie Spencer Wardrobe: DrennaLUNA Makeup: Paul March Chair: Living Spaces

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66

Planes, Trains & Automobiles Travelling Vintage Style

{Beyond> 56 B3 EATS

100 DAD-DE-CODED: LIL DUVAL

Hanging with Kid Chef Jai-David Mair

MTV's Lil Duval keeps it real on being Dad

58 B3 ESCAPES Single. Parent. Fun. All single parents put your hands up

60 SINGLE PARENTING 101

Newsflash: Superwoman isn't super, she's just a woman

104 THE ROADS LESS TRAVELED

90 BACK TO SCHOOL

A journey to faroff lands

92 2 COOL 4 SCHOOL Cool gear for back-to-school

96 CHILDREN'S SUMMER MOVIE GUIDE

110 SEAMLESS SUMMER TRAVEL FOR CHILDREN Travelling with children this summer? Here are some helpful tips for smooth sailing

5 of this summer's most exciting movies for kids.

114 BEEP BEEP CAR WASH

98 THE BLENDED FAMILY

116 B3 COMMUNITY

Doing it differently; All in the family

A Journey to Bethlehem Home

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102 SUPERWOMAN

One lady gets real about life as a single mom Free paper BUN! Back to school is almost here

CO NT EN TS JULY-SEPTEMBER 2013

How to keep your car clean with kids

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92 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 | 09

Editor's NOTE

I

am a ‘celebrator’.

I believe that milestones big and small, should be celebrated. There are few things more satisfying than seeing your baby make his first steps. So for me, as we celebrate our first year, I’m proud to see my baby now walking, and with the occasional trot-to-run thrown in, we’re on our way.

We’re one year old now, and we’re celebrating all things!

In this issue, Jamaica’s sweetheart Tami Chynn is all aglow as she welcomes her first baby boy. We’re celebrating!

Cheers to summer holidays because they ought to be cherished; cheers to travel, because the world is our oyster; cheers to the beauty of children’s fashion; and always, we celebrate parenting.

We are excited to meet our many new readers as they browse our pages while vacationing at some of the best hotel rooms in the Caribbean where our magazine will now be available to each guest. We celebrate every reader, friend, and supporter of b3 Magazine.

You make this work.

And with a grateful heart, I celebrate my team. Iron sharpens iron; we’re proving that every day, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Each day, find something to celebrate. No matter how small it may be, hold it high and CELEBRATE! .

Editor-in-Chief

Dwayne Wat kins Director of Photography

Claire Stewart Features Editor

Dead stories? No such thing with this lady! She makes words come alive.

Gifted with an incredible ability to find beauty in anything, anywhere, anytime, and skilled enough to capture that on camera.

Angelie Spencer Fashion Editor

Can someone be born stylish?

Yes indeed! If anyone can take nothing, and make it into something, she can!

Michelle Gordon Editor-in-Chief

Head Cook, Bottle-Washer, Mother Hen & Big Dreamer.

Dwayne Jureidini Art Director

This guy has superpowers. He sees what’s in my head and brings it to life. Everytime!

Arlene Mart in Assistant Editor

Ms. Prim & Proper and possibly the only fully sane team member. Arlene keeps me in check.

Well, she tries.

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Send your comments, questions and suggestions to

editor@b3caribbeanmagazine.com

We Hear You! BEYOND

b3 Islan’dad

Christopher Ramson

DADS ON DUTY

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For the most part when we think of a single parent, we almost always think of the mother. But we’re flipping the script here. Meet Christopher Ramson; entrepreneur, sports enthusiast, and single Daddy to three energetic boys!

What was your first thought when you realized you were now a single parent?

I thought that this wasn’t going to be such a big deal. I took the challenge

head on and did all the school runs, left work early to help with homework,

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to parenting than just making sure that they get up and go to school, brush

their teeth, do homework and have good manners. Many parents don’t really understand how the dynamics of two parents really compliment a family unit.

As a single father there is no ‘good cop bad cop’ played out so I really had to

change my parenting style and learn when to be the disciplinarian and when

to be the gentle giant. Patience was also something that I have had to practice because as a single father everything from the cut you can’t see which needs a band aid, to the flying karate chop comes to you.

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APRIL - JUNE 2013

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Former professional goalkeeper Shaka Hislop’s remarkable career has taken him from the UK, to representing Trinidad & Tobago in the 2006 World Cup and now to the USA as a commentator with ESPN. Born in the UK to Trinidadian parents, Shaka returned to his island homeland at 2. He wed his university sweetheart, Desha, 17 years ago and their incredibly well matched union has produced 5 children: Maalana - 16, Khazia - 14, Talia - 11, Nia - 8 and little man, Luka, is 5.

Now that’s a full team! We love Shaka’s easygoing vibe; he’s a loving, dedicated and unashamedly involved family man with a career which has seen him pursue his passion. b3 caught up with Shaka for a ‘friendly’ interview, and scored some great shots of his life as a: .

Premier League Papa b3 Islan’dad

b3 Islan’dad

Jr. Pinchers

SHAK A HISLOP - TRINIDAD & TOBAGO

by Claire Harrisingh, Jamaica Photos: Amanda Edelson Photography

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0-year-old Kemar Thompson a.k.a. Jr. Pinchers, has been on the music scene

since he began performing at age 7 at school functions and talent shows. Yes, you made the correct connection, his Dad is the one and only reggae great, Pinchers.

Married for 2 and a half years to Christy, and father to 2 year old Aydon, the

family may reside in Miami but Kemar is absolutely resolute in calling Jamaica ‘Home

Base’! Jr. Pinchers was warm and friendly, the conversation flowed well beyond our brief

interview which was interspersed with a lot of laughs and talk of his island home. He asked us to: “make sure that everybody know, Jr.P love every nation!” We caught up with him on a quick break from his busy schedule building his own legacy in the industry and setting the stage for his 2 year old son.

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and showed up for football games. But I soon realized that there is a lot more

BEYOND

It’s a great thing to see our Daddies being highlighted in such positive roles. I’m often annoyed at the perception that so many of our fathers are deadbeat dads or ‘gyalis’ [womanizers]. More and more fathers are doing their daddy-duties, and setting great examples for the younger generation. I pray daily for the fathers of our children; Kemar, Shaka, in your last issue Christopher Ramson , and all other Caribbean daddies, that they will really lead by example and always keep their families first.

- Celia W. (Jamaica)

BEYOND

Your story on Christopher Ramson and his 3 boys was very encouraging. I’m a single father of 2 girls and a boy, all under 11 years of age. I read this story and was motivated to spend more time with my children, more regularly. He’s doing a great job, and if they haven’t already, his boys will thank him one day. You ought to be very proud Mr. Ramson.

- Martin Mc. (Barbados)

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JA N UA R Y - M A R C H 2 0 1 3

Were you a hands on Dad to your children when they From the time my eldest was old enough to eat cereal on mornings were young babies? We’re talking diaper changing, night I would be up with her having breakfast. That was our time to bond waking, bath-time, spit up wiping... while mum was still in bed. It’s still my favorite time of the day. I’ve I most certainly was a hands on dad! (Every dad probably says that.)

Did the lot. Really didn’t trust myself giving the kids a bath till they

enjoyed doing that with each of our 5 kids. My eldest just turned 16, and I still make every effort to be up when she wakes so we can chat,

were maybe 6 months old (they were just so tiny I was always nervous), just so she can see me sipping my cup of coffee while she does whatever

hated burping after feeding (so didn’t do that too often), but tried to

play my part where I could whenever I could.

it is teenagers need to do to get ready for school.

Four daughters & one son? What are you going to do We know how busy you are, how do you fit in quality time when all those young ladies really get into their teens! with your children? Any favorite activities?

That’s a very sore subject!! My wife, psychologist, doctor and local 102 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 |

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S E P T E M B E R - N OV E M B E R 2 0 1 2

INSPIRATION FOR GREATNESS BEYOND

Every person who has ever achieved greatness, has received inspiration from one source or another. I hope to be that source for my children. Your article on Jennifer Bolt is a wonderful inspiration for me. Today, Jamaica and the rest of the Caribbean stand proud of her son, Usain, who has become great at what he does with the love and support of his mother. My daughter is 6 and wants to be a ballerina, and my son at age 4, breathes, eats and sleeps with his football. I don’t know if they’ll be breaking records in a few years, but I do know that I will be at every recital, and every football game, cheering them on and supporting their dreams.

- Tracy P. (Nassau, Bahamas) When Mrs. Bolt was pregnant, a 10 year old visitor named her ‘bump’ Narlo for a girl and Usain for a boy. Little did this ‘town boy’ know that the name he plucked innocently from obscurity would take its place in the history books forever; even though she tipped us off that her son “never really liked” his name (it’s Usain St. Leo). We joined Mrs. Bolt for lunch on the afternoon of Jamaica’s 100m Olympic Qualifiers at (where else!) Usain Bolt’s Tracks and Records to learn about her life, her loves, and how she went about... .

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Interview: Claire Harrisingh • Photography: Dwayne Watkins Make-up and Styling: Angelie Spencer • Wardrobe: Fabulous Trendz Usain Bolt school photographs courtesy UB Management

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Best.

Ensuring ThE VEry

Web: www.dwaynewatkins.com • Blog: www.dwaynewatkins.com/blog • Email: info@dwaynewatkins.com Twitter: @TeamDWP • Phone: (954) 247-4397 (US) or (876) 286-3198 (JA)

Boy O Boy Limited PUBLISHER Michelle Gordon EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & CREATIVE DIRECTOR Dwayne Jureidini ART DIRECTOR & LAYOUT ARTIST Dwayne Watkins PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR Claire Stewart FEATURES EDITOR & ASSOCIATE CREATIVE DIRECTOR Arlene L. Martin ASSISTANT EDITOR Angelie Spencer FASHION EDITOR & STYLIST

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• Contributing Writers Aileen Burgess, Alykat Moss, Brenda Lee-Browne, Claire Stewart, Eva Wilson-Greene, Gillian Whyte-Roseway, Gina May Mair, Joseph Cornwall, Lizzie Sherwood-Smith, Michelle Gordon, Nicole Tucker, Sara Conner, Shauna-Gaye Hart, Thea Davis M.D., Zarna Drummond

Special thanks to Paul Nguyen Axel & Hudson Los Angeles, California Fitzroy Williams Jamaica Railway Corporation Claude Service Ian Flemming International Airport Boscobel, Jamaica Richard Hamilton ARD2K Village Plaza, Kingston Jamaica Maureen Shaw Living Spaces 37 Hopefield Avenue, Kingston 6 Debra Issa June Plum Mall Plaza, Kingston, Jamaica

Printed in Jamaica Exclusively by The Herald Limited Telephone: (876) 922-2810 Copyright © 2013 Boy O Boy Limited. All rights reserved.

This material may not be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the express prior written permission of Boy O Boy Ltd. For permission, please contact myboyoboy@gmail.com

Web: www.dwaynewatkins.com Blog: www.dwaynewatkins.com/blog Email: info@dwaynewatkins.com Twitter: @TeamDWP Phone: (954) 247-4397 (US) or (876) 286-3198 (JA)

BUMP

Imagine a world where your smart phone is also your baby monitor, your stroller rises to meet you, and your high chair could be mistaken for a piece of artwork in your home. Always in search of the finest products for baby, we struck gold this time, (literally) with these luxurious, yet totally functional accessories.

We say aaaahhhh to the sweet life of...

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Baby Luxe Glo by Boon booninc.com

Imagine your child excited about bedtime and WANTING to jump into bed… now that’s what we call luxury! How to achieve that? Get the GLO! Each nightlight comes with three removable multi-colored, interactive ‘antimonster’ Glo balls. They’re not electronic, so they don’t get warm and they won’t break. Tuck them into bed with your child; the glow fades to dark after 30 minutes, helping them fall asleep.

Real Mummy Review: “I made up a bedtime game called ‘The Race to Sleep Mountain’. The first one to fall asleep won, and my son always beat Glo to sleep! This is, hands down, my favourite purchase since our son was born.”

- Marcia P, Barbados

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Fresco by Bloom bloombaby.com

As the world’s highest baby chair, fresco chrome’s 3-position recline system, and easy up/down height adjustment allow baby to join the family at the dining table or the modern breakfast bar from birth to school age. In cradle mode, newborn baby is up and away from the ground, safe from pets & household dust; parents and baby are able to experience all important eye-toeye contact, so critical in the first formative months. Easily convertible from up-to-the table dining to traditional tray dining modes, Fresco Chrome is the perfect feeding solution for any setting and once baby reaches 36 months, Fresco Chrome switches to a toddler chair for use up to 6 years/79lb.

Real Mummy Review: "This is ‘modern art meets baby’s dining’! I checked out many different high chairs and I’m very happy I settled on this one. It’s a sleek addition to our contemporary décor.

The style is fab and it’s very, very strong and it’s versatile. I think I’ll have it forever!"

- Lisa C, Jamaica

BUMP

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Origami by 4 Moms 4moms.com The Origami tops our list as the super-sexiest accessory of this century! The Origami is the world’s first power folding stroller! Fully motor-powered, and activated by a gentle turn of a knob and push of a button, this 'baby' goes from upright to storable in less than 6 seconds, and the same time applies for the reverse. This great stroller has so many features: it charges itself while you walk, you can charge your cell phone, and it’s LED display will even tell you when baby is in safely!

Real Mummy Review: "I LOVE everything about this stroller. This is definitely well worth the splurge. I knew I wanted it the moment I saw this stroller, but discovering that I could use my Graco infant seat with it as a travel system was the selling point for me."

- Vered M, Jamaica

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The Okoa Stand by Hushamock

thebabybassinet.com The Okoa stand was designed to complement your perfectly gorgeous bundle of joy, but in an understated way, because you wouldn’t want to take any attention away from the main attraction. With its crescent shape, how can you not dream of sleep?

Made from beautiful, sustainably harvested European Beechwood, Hushamok is known for its hardness, wear-resistance, strength, and excellent bending capabilities. The aluminum castings hold it all together and get top marks for durability, recyclability and sustainability.

Why we love? The Okoa Stand is eco-friendly, and comes complete with an organic, VOC-free mattress – this is pure pleasure for your ‘green’ nursery. Just looking at this product evokes a calmness that almost guarantees a peaceful rest for baby, and Mummy too!

Real Daddy Review: “I’m all for low-to-no electronics in our home, and naturally, in our baby’s room.

We don’t even own a microwave, and soon our home will be fully solar-powered.

The Okoa was a no-brainer purchase for us.”

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Steven S, Nassau, Bahamas

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Withings Smart Baby Monitor withings.com In today’s techie times, smartphone-compatible baby monitors are fast becoming a rite of passage for new parents who are always on the go. When duty calls, and to work we must return, this monitor gives the freedom and flexibility to do so, knowing that checking on baby is just a glance away. Local connectivity is available over Bluetooth or you can store up to 3 WiFi networks on the unit.

Real Mummy Review: “I can’t imagine my life without my Smart Monitor.

This is the comfort of a regular monitor - on steroids! Although my daughter is home with our nanny while we are at work, my husband and I are so much more comfortable now that we can check in on her at any time with just the touch of a button. I mean, we both use our phones constantly anyway, so this is a natural progression."

Mamaroo 4moms.com It’s a swing. No, it’s a bouncer. No, it’s a Mamaroo – a sleek combination of both a swing and a bouncer that perfectly mimics the natural movement of a mother rocking her baby to comfort. 5 different nature sounds come with the Mamaroo, and in case that’s not enough, you can entertain baby with your specially created playlist by connecting your MP3 player, or placing your iPod, or other music player in the cradle provided for that purpose.

Real Mummy Review: "I love everything clean and contemporary. The frame and colour options from the Mamaroo are very fresh and modern – perfect for my style. Although it’s a baby accessory it doesn’t scream baby!"

- Chantal S., Jamaica via Miami, Florida

- Rebecca J, Jamaica

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Not even the torrential rain that greeted us on what was supposed to be a “sun-shiny” photoshoot morning in Kingston, could dampen Tami’s pregnancy glow. As cliche as the ‘glow’ may be, take our word and check out for yourself just how much pregnancy ‘grees’ with the songstress who has become a household name – a sweetheart, if you will, who is loved and respected by so many.

Join us as we spend a little

TUMMY TIME with TAMI

By: Michelle Gordon and Claire Stewart Photography: Dwayne Watkins Makeup: Paul March Styling: Angelie Spencer Wardrobe: drennaLUNA

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he’s married to ace DJ and entertainer Wayne Marshall, and step-mother to 7-year-old Giomar.

Tami Chynn steps from behind the glitz and glamour of show business and introduces us to Tammar Annika Chin-Mitchell, an easy-going, down-to-earth, girl next door. She disarmed us with a laugh so genuine, and an aura so sweet, it’s hard to believe that this is the same person who has transformed into diva-mode, and rocked audiences worldwide. Tami is an entertainer, who embraced her roles on stage with the highest standards of professionalism. “I was born to perform”, she states. But now, as she prepares to welcome her firstborn, Tami is ready for her greatest performance yet.

If being happy were the remedy for an easy delivery, then Tami is in for a treat! It’s hard to be around this lady and not laugh. And I’m not talking about a mild chuckle. You know the kind of laugh that makes your belly move? Well, that’s what I’m talking about. And if there’s any truth to what ‘they’ say about the transfer of emotions from mother to baby, then this little man here (it's a boy!) is bound to be one happy kid.

Guaranteed. And Tami has good reason to be happy.

“I’m married to an amazing man who allowed me to prepare for this moment in my life”. Tami speaks of her role as stepmother to Gio, as playing a defining part in making her ready to welcome and parent her own child. “I’ve learned life lessons about love, and patience and understanding, but above all, I’ve learned that happiness is a choice. We don’t always choose all the things that happen to us, but we can always choose how to react.” .

ON BEING MOM B3: Have you always wanted to have children?

Tami: Definitely! My mother was a stay-at-home mom, so it was always my dream to become a mother too. I grew up in a large family of 5 children, (three girls and two boys), and a million cousins - so there was lots of love and hugs to share. I would have started long ago, but I had plans that had to be fulfilled, and goals that I had to achieve. I’ve put a check in all those boxes, and now that I’ve started [to have children], I don’t think

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I’ll be able to stop. [insert belly laugh here]. Wayne says if we have more than three, they’ll have to homeschooled!

Were you ever scared about being a ‘stepmother’?

Oh yes! There’s a pre-conceived notion of the ‘evil step –mother’, and that was a scary thought. In the beginning I didn’t know where my relationship (with Wayne) was going, so yes, there were reservations. But Wayne and Regina, (Gio’s mom), gave me the chance to step into the role. It was drama-free, and continues to be a wonderful network of love and trust and cooperation.

It’s a net that really works. [insert belly laugh]

ON BLENDING From all appearances, you guys seem to be testament to a successful blended (and blending!) family. Has it always been so seamless having a relationship with the mother of Wayne’s firstborn, and developing your role as a step-mother?

If Regina wasn’t who she is, this couldn’t work, and that’s the truth. Gio is her child, and I have to respect that. And she too respects the fact that I am Wayne’s wife. It’s easy to expect ‘baby-mama-drama’, but Regina gave me a new model to look at. She has set a high bar for mothers who have to ‘share’ their children. I’m not telling anyone how to live their life, but if people take the focus off themselves and put it on the child, where it belongs, there’s a world of happiness to be had. When it comes to Gio, I speak to Regina more than I do Wayne. [insert that laugh again]

A successful story like that must have taken dedicated work on several sides, so what have been your biggest challenges as a blended family?

Scheduling! It can get confusing around here. Whose day is it for pick-up? Where are these shorts? I thought they were at your house! [belly laugh]. But seriously, in a family like ours, decisions aren’t made just by two people, so we have to communicate freely and often.

Our common denominator is Gio, so we all have to make choices and decisions with his best interest at heart. And for me, being the step-mother, I have to know when to step back.

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Talk to us a little about your relationship with Wayne. We’ve witnessed the obvious friendship and fire! (Wayne interrupted our photoshoot with a playful ‘unnu tek time with mi wife!’) [starts with laugh this time] This is easy.

We started out as friends; friends who had a common love for music, and a genuine respect for each other’s craft. Wayne is a ‘laugher’ like me, [you guessed it folks… insert belly laugh] so our friendship was built on laughter. He makes me laugh. A lot. It sustains us, and keeps us connected, and considering our careers, staying connected is a key component. We became bona fide friends whose love grew deeper with each encounter. I believe that’s where so many couples go wrong…. We’re not in love 24/7, but each day, we operate not just as man and wife, but from a friendship level. I like to say that I don’t just love him, I like him.

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ON FATHERHOOD When Wayne became a father, how did seeing him in that role affect you?

When Wayne became a Daddy, we weren’t yet dating, so I came into Gio’s life, not the other way around. [laugh] We were friends at the time, and I was very happy for him.

He matured a lot, and if it wasn’t for Gio, I would not have known Wayne as I do now.

I saw my friend embrace his role as a Dad like he was born to do it. He became his guardian and protector.

What kind of father is he?

Wayne is naturally a very caring man. But the moment he became a father, he became even more amazing. He sees himself in his son, and takes being involved to a whole new level. Gio and our baby, are very lucky to have Wayne as a daddy, and friend. He is very serious about the responsibility of parenting, and he’s keen on setting the best example of being a good man. Gio is at the

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age where he loves to ‘par wid Daddy’, and Wayne relishes the role.

You’re in the limelight and raising a family. How do you protect your private life from the public.

In the beginning it was hard. We were trying to get to know each other, and it was a little challenging with so many people having something to say. But we’re both pretty open, and honest, so we’ve been able to strike a good balance between what we share and what we keep private. It has become easy for us, because we feel the same way about the same things and we understand each other. Wayne knows my personality. Like when we found out about our pregnancy, he knew I just had to post pics and share my joy; and that was okay with him. If there’s something we opted to keep to ourselves, we decide that together.

For Gio, and soon for our baby, we’re just a normal family – that won’t change.

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I CAN’T WAIT FOR MORE CHILDREN. I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW, I KNOW THAT I AM GOING TO MISS BEING PREGNANT. MY PREGNANCY HAS BEEN A HUGE FULFILLMENT FOR ME, AND I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO MANY MORE. (Y’HEAR THAT WAYNE?)

ON BEING A STEP-MOM Gio has been the centre of your attention for seven years. Are you and Wayne nervous about introducing him to his baby brother?

Early in the pregnancy we were a little nervous. But now, not at all. We have prepared Gio well, I think, so he’s super excited. He’s away for a bit and advised me recently that if he hears that the baby is coming, he’ll be there in a flash, “cause this naah miss me!”

How has your relationship with Gio evolved?

I’ve been a part of Gio’s life for as long as he can remember, so there’s nothing happening that’s out-of the-ordinary. The thing is, Gio is a very smart kid. I believe that our honesty and openness as a blended family make it easy for him to understand changes. He sees ‘other’ families, and knows that he is blessed to have two homes.

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Two well-adjusted homes – so this is his normal. He is about to become a big brother and right now, he’s as excited as can be.

What do you enjoy doing with him?

Everything. We love going to the movies.

It’s a great date time for us, sometimes it’s just Gio and me, and sometimes it’s all of us. And I just love surprising him! He loves it. There’s something amazing about making a child happy, and you know how I feel about happy! [laugh] Gio is also a very witty kid. Chatting with him at night takes on a different dimension when Gio starts giving jokes. He’s very funny and very affectionate. I can’t wait for him to share with his brother!

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Tami. And baby will learn in short order too! Wayne is the yes-man, so by virtue of that, I do the homework, and the extra lessons, and the music practice… hmph! [laugh]

Can you imagine yourself being pregnant again, or is this one and done?

More like ‘guh hard and done’! [insert belly laugh]. I can’t wait for more children. I am so happy right now, I know that I am going to miss being pregnant. My pregnancy has been a huge fulfillment for me, and I’m looking forward to many more. (y’hear that Wayne?)

You look like the super-cool mom who the children will run to when they need a yes. Are you?

hahhahahaha! Not at all! That’s Wayne. I’m the strict one. Gio, and his friends, [laughter continues] know not to mess with Aunty

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Leather Sofa: ARD2K

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ou have to go for the girl now right?

You know what? I used to want a girl, but now, I think I’m definitely a boy-mom. I mean…I’ll take what I’m given, but three boys, and then maybe one girl sounds perfect!

ON MARRIAGE

You really planning to ‘ live what you learn’! How much do you think your parents influenced your thinking today?

Oh man…a whole lot! My parents taught us [me and my siblings] how to love. And though they’re divorced today, the lessons they taught us were not lost. The love they showed and taught us was a love based on respect and friendship. In loving another person, you learn that each person makes choices, and whether or not you like their choice, that should have no bearing on the love you have for them. Mom and Dad were best friends who recognised and accepted that they were better apart. That was their reality and it worked for them. My mother is now re-married, and my father is in a relationship, and they still speak almost every day. You can’t discount a solid friendship. .

Did their divorce affect you?

Yes, I was happy because they were happy! They divorced about 5 years ago, so we (siblings) were all adults, and able to process the divorce sensibly.

Has your outlook on marriage been affected?

No. I really haven’t given it much thought, because I honestly respected their choices. In marriage, you don’t have to, and probably won’t agree on every single thing, but when it’s necessary, couples must learn to ‘agree to disagree’. And that’s a lesson well-learned in so many other areas of life. My parents met at 14, and now at age 63, being apart, they continue to teach us. I believe in new possibilities at every age and stage of life. The end of an era doesn’t have to mean the end.

up, and out, she was left with a husband she no longer knew. I have vowed to keep my marriage alive. The truth is I’m about to fall in love with another guy here. [points to her tummy, and laughs of course]. It’s so easy to give love where we get it right back – from children.

It’s easily reciprocated, and takes much less work than a relationship with a spouse. But those children won’t be there forever. I don’t want to be left with a vacant relationship with my husband after the children are gone. So for me, I definitely keep our love alive! Hmmm, I also want to say self first. Yes, self, then husband, children, then career. We feel selfish doing it, but then we neglect ourselves. A happy wife equals a happy life, right? Makes sense to me if I want to stay happily married. But it only works when the husband does the same.

ON STYLE You’re an effortless fashionista, are you looking more forward to getting your little man styled sharply?

You know…I’m kind of old fashioned - I like to see a baby in diapers and that’s it. Kinda simple if you ask me. I mean, if we’re heading out, sure… he won’t be a baby for long, so nice little outfits will be in order, but when we’re home we’re in relax mode. We received tons of great gifts for the baby, including some super-duper outfits bought by Daddy, who obviously has an agenda.

[DWL] The other day I had to ‘draw brakes’ on some of the shopping… “Bredrin…which dance yu want tek my pickney go? [belly laughter tun up here].

I can imagine. With both parents being hot steppers on the style scene, I don’t see where he’ll have much choice!

Not just us… Both of his Grandma’s are fashionistas.

And my father! Now there’s a hottie. And my older sister – I was her dolly. So he’s in for some style lessons for sure. His saving grace will be Tess - she was the tomboy. [laughter]

How do you think baby’s arrival will change your relationship with Wayne?

You know, my mother in her wisdom, gave me some advice that I hold dear to my heart. She told me that she made the mistake of putting her children first. At first, I didn’t fully understand, but as we spoke further, it became clearer. She explained that after we all grew

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ON SISTERLY LOVE You and your sister Tessanne are really close - has your relationship changed since you became pregnant?

Apart from the fact that I have another set of hands touching my belly? No changes really. Tess and I are almost Irish twins. We’re very close in age – I was born in June, and she came along in September of the following year. We did everything together and have always supported each other from day one. When I found out I was expecting, Tess was my first call after Wayne. She’s so very happy for me. You’d think it was happening to her.

Are you worried about making time for each other once the baby arrives?

Worried? No. Tess will be here. She’s my rock, and I know she’ll be on spot as Aunty Tess, Sister Tess, Babysitter Tess…in every way.

She’ll be here for me.

Have you started pressuring her for cousins for your son?

Tami: No. Tessanne is on a mission. She is very goal-oriented, and extremely focused. This is not her time for babies. This is her time to shine in her career, and shine she will! I like to say that she’s last, so she’ll have the babies last. [that laugh again]

Do you see your career changing after your baby is born?

Yes. It’s changed already. My career is not my main focus at the minute. It requires me to be up and about. Writing, in studio, traveling, the whole nine yards that comes with being an entertainer. I want to give my son a solid portion of my time. For now, I don’t want to be worried about getting back in shape in the shortest possible time, or scheduling tours. And to be honest, I think I’ve lost some desire.

I realize I’m not just giving birth to a baby, but something else is being born. I not sure what’s next career-wise. There are times when it’s confusing for me because I’m passionate about my music. I really do love music, but I don’t love it enough. Even before my pregnancy, I felt it’s time for something else…

We’ll see.

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Tami’s Thoughts Labour. How you feeling about that?!

Excited. Although, I encounter women every day who have advice to give me on this and that. They all want me to labour the way they did – drugs, no drugs… [hah] I’m doing my own thing, and very excited. I can’t wait!

What have been your pregnancy must haves?

Pepper. Liver. And large salads. I’ve been a complete carnivore or complete vegetarian. So spicy liver with a salad on the side – heaven! .

Most beautiful things about being pregnant Knowing that I made a baby!

Most downright ugly things about being pregnant ˏˏ ˏˏ

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Skin breaking out.

My feet have grown – ugh! They better shrink, cause I’ve got tons of shoes!

My heavy breathing. – I’ve become Darth Vader’!

What are you looking most forward to?

Seeing and holding my son for the first time.

Dreading the most?

Sleepless nights. I LOVE to sleep. I suspect I’m fighting a losing battle, so bring it on regardless.

One thing your fans out there don’t know about you which you want them to I’m pretty open, so that’s tricky. They already know.

Top 3 tips for first time preggers? ˏˏ ˏˏ

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Get maternity pants!

Advice–givers mean well. Smile, nod, take what you want and leave what you don’t.

Do you – your way and don’t stress.

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A Gentler

Way to Give Birth

by Lizzie Sherwood-Smith England via Jamaica

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Most of us constantly hear terrifying stories of women’s birth experiences. Particularly when you’re pregnant.

Friends, mothers, sisters, even strangers on the street, insist on sharing with you their birthing horror stories in gory detail. Unsurprisingly, we get conditioned to believe agonising pain, panting, puffing, stretching and straining is all an inevitable part of birth.

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ut what may surprise you is, it is exactly this fear that makes having a long, painful birth more likely. Sadly, it’s a selffulfilling prophecy. Fear causes the body to release stress hormones that make muscles painfully tense and unyielding. In birth, that is disastrous, both for you and the baby.

The next time someone is telling you their horror story, say, ‘Shh! No bad birth stories please, my baby is listening!’

It’s not about being unprepared if special

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circumstances arise on your birthing day. In fact, HypnoBirthing gives you and your partner useful tools for staying calm whatever the eventuality. It’s about not constantly reinforcing the possibility of complications.

If you want to have a calm, gentle birth, you need to start surrounding yourself with happy birthing stories. With HypnoBirthing, you’ll find yourself actually beginning to look forward to the miraculous event giving birth to your baby should be.

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HOW HYPNOBIRTHING WORKS

The classes teach simple self-hypnosis, positive visualization and special breathing techniques, to help the mother’s birthing body relax and open. Each week, short video clips are shown of calm, joyful births.

Here’s how it works. If the mother meets her body’s surges (HypnoBirthing’s more positive terminology for contractions) with fear, the lower muscles of her uterus around the cervix remain tight. The lateral uterine muscles struggle to pull up against them, creating waves of pain.

HypnoBirthing teaches the mother how to relax completely into her surges, rather than tensing painfully against them. She uses her breath to work with each surge, breathing the baby gently down the birth path. As the baby crowns, her body is fully

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open and relaxed, and she is flooded with the pain-numbing, blissful, loving effects of endorphins, enjoying the biggest natural high of her life.

Most importantly, Mum will learn to trust her birthing body and baby to work together in perfect harmony, just the way nature intended.

And yes, Daddy-to-be does have a role to play! A labouring woman must be able to relax completely. It’s her birth companion’s job to help her stay that way, fending off unnecessary questions and interventions and making sure her birth preferences are met.

This takes practice! No matter how much you’ve discussed it beforehand, it’s very easy for him to become overwhelmed on the day itself. Give him the tool he needs to help you have the gentle birth you want.

Marie Mongan, and a CD mum should listen to daily.

Find out for yourself, just how gentle, calm and joyful birth can be. By preparing your mind and body for childbirth properly, you can reduce or even eliminate completely the experience of pain and the need for medication. Breathe your baby into the world with HypnoBirthing!

Lizzie Sherwood-Smith is an English lady who recently moved to Kingston whilst she was heavily pregnant with her first child.

Her son was born at Andrews Memorial Hospital, just 1½ hours after admission in a natural, drug-free birth. Lizzie credits her easy pregnancy and quick delivery to self-hypnosis techniques she practiced every day during the second half of her pregnancy.

She was inspired to help other women have better births and recently qualified to teach HypnoBirthing through the practitioner training in Florida. She started teaching classes in Kingston in June, both to parents privately and on a voluntary basis to teenage mums.

HynoBirthing® comes to Jamaica Next class series starts October 2013.

For more information, dates & costs, visit www. hypnobirthingjamaica.com or email: lizzieshh@gmail.com

HYPNOBIRTHING BENEFITS ˏˏ Less fear ˏˏ Relaxed birthing muscles ˏˏ Faster labour ˏˏ Less chance of tearing or episiotomy ˏˏ Higher oxygen to the baby ˏˏ Mother avoids ‘forced pushing’ ˏˏ Baby emerges gently ˏˏ Mother is left alert, awake and filled with energy ˏˏ Partner has an integral role

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WHAT THE COURSE INVOLVES

The course is taught as five 2½hour workshops spread out over 5 weeks. Participants are given a book, HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method by

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WHEN ALL IS NOT WELL

By Shauna-Gaye Hart, Mandeville, Jamaica

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hronic Intervillositis... that’s the name of this condition I have that will only rear its ugly head during pregnancy.

There is a 70% chance that it will recur, and I may have to endure multiple miscarriages until such time. If I stay determined and strong enough, I can find myself in that 30% bracket of having a normal pregnancy and unaffected child.

My doctor(s) (and I) did endless research and all we found were research papers listing “possible” treatments of hormones, steroids, blood thinners... but still no guarantee of a sustainable pregnancy. Sadly, there is so little known about this condition.

I was 8 weeks along when I encountered my first miscarriage which we chalked up to “just one of those things”. Three months later (yes I’m apparently very fertile) we were pregnant again. The first trimester was painstakingly scary and after I got past the coveted 12-week marker, I felt like it was smooth sailing – I was carrying small, had minimal “morning” sickness, ultrasounds all seemed on point and as if I was having a perfect pregnancy... until I was 21 weeks and it all went on a downward spiral.

I went in for my anomaly scan (you know where they measure baby’s limbs, head, etc) and as soon as the head was measured the doctor paused, and said he was sending me straight over to a radiologist who ruled my pregnancy as being a “normal 17-week foetus”. Let me tell you – I know my own body like the back of my hand and I know EXACTLY when I conceived and there was no way I was four whole weeks behind on calculations. We moved on to a Maternal Fetal Specialist. An hour under her trained eye and steady hands, our little baby was deemed “unsustainable outside the womb”. His limbs were all measuring disproportionate not only to the gestational age but to each other. I was checked into the hospital and three inductions later (my girlfriend says I have an iron womb) I

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WE MOVED ON TO A MATERNAL FETAL SPECIALIST. AN HOUR UNDER HER TRAINED EYE AND STEADY HANDS, OUR LITTLE BABY WAS DEEMED “UNSUSTAINABLE OUTSIDE THE WOMB” .

finally began to labour. Our “Trooper” was delivered and sent on to do pathology.

One D&C and eight (8) weeks later (for something we were told would take 4 weeks) we FINALLY got the pathology results...

CHRONIC INTERVILLOSITIS. The Pathologist(s) and Doctors here had never seen it before. A rare condition that causes inflammation of the placenta. Once that is compromised, there is inevitable distress on the foetus.

Why do I tell you my story? Well, other than the fact that I have accepted what happened to us in a positive way and I can speak openly about it, I want other women to know. I want them to know that although rare, this condition is real.

Chronic Intervillositis has a high (80.0%) recurrence risk. In pregnancies reaching 14 weeks, the chance of a live-birth is 53.6%*. Those are frightening statistics. I am neither the first nor the last woman that this will affect. Is it that we “shrug off” other miscarriages as “just one of those

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A supportive partner makes the process that much easier to go through.

things”? If miscarriage pathology was done more often would we have more to share and more treatment of this condition?

What is this condition and why does it happen? This is definitely not to scare anyone who is pregnant or trying to have a baby. It’s all about awareness, and knowing that we are not alone on our journey, whether good or bad. Being a “guinea pig” for this condition is a task I take on whole heartedly albeit with trepidation.

Miscarrying in itself regardless of which stage it happens at is a hard pill to swallow.

It’s even more so when you carry a life to a point where you feel as if nothing can go wrong and then it all comes to a crashing halt. I was induced, and delivered a baby that I had bonded with, but will never get the chance to hold, nourish, and nurture.

How did I transition to my “good place” and overcome my fear of trying again? ˏˏ

FIRSTLY – know that God, the universe, mother nature, however you want to look at it, whatever your beliefs are – know that it’s bigger than you and it’s for a reason. And don’t just KNOW that, ACCEPT it.

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ˏˏ

GET PSYCHIATRIC HELP – No one was more of a sceptic than I was. But it works!! It’s a free pass to speak openly and vent and curse and cry... hard!!! With no one to judge you!! A much needed unbiased ear to chastise and shoulder to lean on.

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TALK ABOUT IT – We talk about Trooper all the time, he’s our little angel. And it helps to validate him – he was after all, already a part of the family.

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FIND CLOSURE – have a ceremony if you must. This is not only good for you but the entire family.

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STAY POSITIVE – easier said than done, I know. MUCH easier.

I’m focusing on my 30% with no thoughts on the 70. Remember that same God/universe/higher power?

They love them some positive energy!

I am so very thankful for the amazing support system of family and friends and an extraordinarily supportive husband who, even though he was going through his own

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turmoil & emotions, put them aside and stayed strong for myself and our son who was anxiously awaiting a little brother or sister. We opted to see a therapist where we vented and cried and tried to get some closure.

All being said, I hope this has enlightened someone who has gone through this and has been at a quandary as to what happened to them. If not that, then that this will be a nudge for persons who, unfortunately, have to go through this, to make sure to go through all the steps to find out WHY it happened. Let’s learn more about conditions like this one so we can reduce that recurrence rate and find a guaranteed cure.

Life goes on, as must we. Let’s make it happen.

Chronic Intervillositis is a rare and poorly understood disease characterized by intervillous infiltrates of maternal origin. The intervillositis infiltrates from mononuclear cells (monocytes, histiocytes) correlate with placental insufficiency, and result in intrauterine growth restriction, intrauterine fetal death and spontaneous miscarriage. In layman’s terms, Chronic Intervillositis is an immune problem that makes the body thinks that your baby is a foreign object and, subsequently fights it. *Source: Placental Journal Volume 31, Issue 12

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Aromatherapy Aroma .

for your Bump & Beyond

By Nicole A. Tucker, Jamaica via New Jersey

With the ongoing recall of over-the-counter medicines for babies and children, as well as the long list of potential adverse effects of many conventional medicines for pregnancy health, more families are choosing alternative, eco-friendly wellness approaches. We're 'sniffing out' the benefits of one such approach, aromatherapy, with a certified aromatherapist and caribbean daughter.

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regnancy is a delicate journey, which requires a gentle approach to health as you holistically nourish yourself and your baby’s growth and development. It serves your most optimum health to receive wellness care that is safe – providing no potential immediate and long-term

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physical, emotional, and mental harm. Unfortunately, with conventional medicine, some of the potential adverse effects, (for example with cold and flu medicine,) can be: dizziness, headaches, nausea, confusion, tremors, anxiety, constipation, and diarrhea. Exposure during pregnancy, to this potential harm is ill-advised.

The ancient medicine of aromatherapy grants mothers, baby, and the entire family the opportunity to experience a safe, therapeutic, and pleasurable approach to their health and well being. Dating back thousands of years

ago, aromatherapy involves using essential oils, that are extracted from plant parts - for their unique properties- (such as antiviral, antibacterial, antibiotic, sedative, nervine and digestive), to address health concerns; from pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. The oils may be experienced through inhalation and/or topically (combined with a base oil, such as olive, or unscented cream). The added base helps to transport the essential oil into the bloodstream, where it can “work its magic.”

In 2007, the Department of Chemistry and Natural

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Products Institute of The University of the West Indies conducted a study on essential oil extracts, which proved the anti-microbial effectiveness of certain plants on organisms resistant to antibiotics. This is especially good to know and

work with when addressing conditions such as colds and flu, chicken pox, and a variety of microbe-related conditions.

Within my practice, I have provided aromatherapy to assist health conditions such as, infertility, morning sickness, allergies, asthma, eczema, insomnia, torticollis, reproductive challenges, and much more.

Essential oils can be prepared as a massage oil or cream, and additionally may be processed as an air freshener, mouthwash, douche and perfume. here are countless therapeutic properties to one essential oil, and aromatherapy is suitable for a wide range of health challenges.

For instance, the essential oil of sweet orange assists digestion and promotes positive attitude and mood. This oil would be helpful for a pregnant mother who may be experiencing morning sickness, nausea, along with possible emotional upsets. An aromatherapy blend containing sweet orange essential oil can be inhaled, applied on the stomach area of your body, or all over the body.

Now used throughout

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hospitals and clinics around the world, aromatherapy is invaluable in assisting your family’s complete health, and it works harmoniously with any other health care approaches.

Using essential oils throughout your pregnancy, as well as introducing it into your new baby’s life creates a foundation of conscious and safe wellness care, one in which your baby can carry into adulthood. To receive the most suitable aromatherapy products for you and your family, it is best to consult with a qualified aromatherapist.

Nicole A. Tucker, Lic. LCC, is a Certified Aromatherapist, creator of the Birth Support Kit, and Licensed Natural Health Care Practitioner.

Nicole has a holistic health practice specializing in women, maternity, infant, and family health, and she is available for private aromatherapy telephone consultation. Learn more about her practice at www.NicoleAngelaTucker.com, and contact Nicole directly at NicoleATucker@aol. com and (201) 926 – 9757.

Baby Basics are Best at

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Joseph's Baby Shower Registry Now Available At All Stores!

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What to Expect in DUE DATE: 20 Years Ago

Brenda Lee Browne - Antigua

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his time 20 years ago I was pregnant – a restless alien was moving around my abdomen.

Fist, feet and head shapes would pop up at odd times….only staying still long enough when the nurse decided to do a scan to see what colour blanket I needed to buy – blue or pink – I ended up with white as the alien crossed its legs and sucked its fist – a picture of contentment……seven days later I met my son – laid back until the nurses disturbed him and he came out like a cannon ball still sucking his fist…his lungs responded to the sudden bright lights and noise – cheers, laughter and cooing……Why I should remember this today more than on his actual birthday? I have no idea……I guess I am trying to piece together our journey – from screaming, wriggling red alien to the boy with the big brown eyes to the social butterfly to the child captivated by moving pictures especially those produced by Disney to the child who drew everything – loved Elizabethan history and the Beatles to my pyjama-Saturday mate as we ate our way through junk food and watched videos with curtains drawn against the outside world…train journeys, plane rides, sand castles and fish and chips, one pot magic dinners and Christmas at granny’s house…….and a million other memories: some big, some small, that add colour to our lives and to the family treasure trove of stories and legends………..

Maybe we mothers have two birth days…the one where we expect them and the day they arrive……they move away from us inch by inch day by day whilst still staying close to us….

Brenda is a writer, cricket lover and collector of handbags, teapots and a chocoholic who writes about life, memories and moments. Lives in Antigua and has worked on cricket events across the Caribbean and for the last two years in India.

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Labour and Birth

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aby’s room complete?

Check.

Clothes and crib bought?

Check.

Hospital bag packed?

Check. So you think you’re ready? Let‘s take a quick look at the things we need to know, because knowing is half the battle!

Pregnancy is one of the most exciting times for a woman, especially if it’s your first time. We often dreamed of becoming a mother long before we could even spell the word. However, it can be a time when the unknown becomes so overwhelming, that nerves and fright sometimes stifle the beauty of the birthing process.

By the time you’re about 24 weeks, you should pre-register at your hospital. I liken this to pre-checking for your flight at the airport – there’s less paperwork work to do

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when you arrive. The last thing you need when you’re in the throes of labour pains, is to be completing forms or answering seemingly mundane questions.

If you think you’re in labour, you’ll need to have your suspicions confirmed by your doctor. Give him a call first, and if his instructions lead you to the hospital, you’ll be evaluated and then given further directions. Depending on your stage of labour, you may be ushered into delivery, told to ‘walk it out’, or even sent back home.

If you’re sent home, fear not, it just means that your cervix is not yet dilated and you still have a while to go. If you are admitted however, your vitals will be recorded (blood pressure, pulse etc.), and your cervix will be examined periodically to determine your progress. Once you’re in labour, the general rule of thumb is that your cervix will dilate 1cm each hour. When you get to 10cm, the end is in sight, and you’ll be moments away from meeting your new baby.

Labour pains will intensify, and this late stage may not be the best time to opt

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Daddy can share in the amazing journey by cutting the umbilical cord – guaranteed precious moment #1!

for pain-relief. Be sure to discuss with your Doctor ahead of time, your decision to deliver with or without medicated assistance. Know also that although epidural is a safe pain management option, it does make you temporarily numb.

Fully dilated now? Excellent, push baby, push. All things being equal, this process can be as short as 20 minutes, and can go up to a few hours. An on-the-spot decision to

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deliver your baby by Caesarean Section will be made if your Doctor decides that this is the best course of action for you and your baby’s health as his greatest priority.

When your baby arrives, Daddy can share in the amazing journey by cutting the umbilical cord – guaranteed precious moment #1! While baby is being examined by the nurse, you’ll be delivering the placenta, a not so fun, but necessary process.

Once that’s done, you’re ready to receive your baby – weighed, measured, checked and cleaned; and very soon, he will also be ready for his first meal on the outside!

After ten (yes, 10!) months of waiting, your beautiful baby is finally here, and though your pregnancy is over, this is just the beginning!

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Fab in with

Cosmetics So you’ve just welcomed your beautiful bouncing baby, you’re happy as a lark, feeling complete and perhaps just a tad tired. Every mother deserves to feel great about how she looks, whether her baby is 6 months or 6 years. .

NEW MOMS WANT TO KNOW:

MAC Cosmetics senior make-up artist, Gisel Calvillo, jetted into Kingston from San Francisco and spent a fun-filled morning with the b3 team and this issue’s Glama Mama, Miss Jamaica Universe 2010, Yendi Phillips.

Demonstrating simple tips, Gisel shares with b3 Mummies how to achieve FAB in FIVE! ˏˏ

What basic make-up items should every new mother have in her cosmetic bag?

Mineralized concealer, blush, lipstick, mascara and eyeliner are definite! You can also smudge liner in to create a sexy night-time look.

Try MAC BB Cream mixed into your foundation for day. Adds a great glow to skin and becomes a light texture for all-day coverage.

you are feeling edgier, go for a matte texture with bold color like Lady Danger, Ruby Woo or Candy Yum Yum. ˏˏ

ˏˏ

ˏˏ

Our eye kohl eyeliners are a must! Line eyes or simply smudge in the liner for a soft smoky eye creamy formula that is easy to use. Try Teddy or Phone Number Lipstick is the quickest way to feel glam. Try our newest mineralized lipstick for a great lip. If

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ˏˏ

Add mascara always. My new favorite is Extended Playlash. You can build texture and volume that won’t clump.

Add blush for a quick pick-me-up. It brightens your face and gives you ‘happy vibes’. Try a peachier tone that can warm up your skin like Fleur Power or Foolish Me.

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Any tips on how Mummies can look like they’ve slept 8 hours, when in truth, it’s only 8 minutes?

My best secret is add some mineralized concealer in the centre of face. Add under eyes, around borders of nose, and chin. Blend with MAC Brush 224. The product is ultra moisturizing and creates a beautiful smooth glow on skin.

Skin can change a lot during pregnancy. Does that mean one has to change make-up as well?

If your skin is now a bit drier, then i definitely recommend a liquid or cream base instead of a powdered one. If your skin is now oilier, you can try a liquid formula that helps control oil production in skin.

Most importantly your life as a mother has now changed, so it’s important to find a makeup style that you’re comfortable with, and also suits your lifestyle. Makeup does not have to be a 20 step process. You can keep it simple.

How do you know which shade concealer to use in order to give the best coverage?

I highly recommend visiting our MAC store and having one of our makeup artistes match you up. They are expertly trained and would be able to help you choose your perfect match.

Are MAC cosmetics safe for use during pregnancy?

MAC cosmetics are completely safe during pregnancy. Most of our products have a range of natural ingredients to ensure that they provide quality results.

MAC Cosmetics in Jamaica is located at shop 23a Sovereign Centre, 106 Hope Road, Liguanea. Phone: 946-9895

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Jamaica’s best backside, all year round. .

100% Natural Juice, every single day.

Go ahead and take a peek, we’re proud of our backside....

At ORIJIN we’ve decided the best way to experience Fruit Juices and Coconut Water is straight from the fruit itself. Which explains why we only have one ingredient all year round.... 100% Pure Juice.

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Glama Mama .

Photography: Dwayne Watkins Makeup: Gisel Calvillo for MAC Cosmetics Styling: Angelie Spencer Wardrobe: DrennaLUNA

She’s captured the hearts of so many around the globe with her beauty, intelligence, and killer smile.

And to top it off, this Chica has a sharp wit, and sense of humour that is as on point as her effortless style.

Mummy to 9-month-old Israel (her gorgeous daughter with talented artiste Chino), she's a woman who puts family first. A bonafide supermodel (her work has taken her ' to di werl'. Remember her stunning performance at Miss Universe in 2010 where she was 1st runner up?)

She makes motherhood look good.

No. Flawless! .

What is the one beauty product that you CANNOT leave home without?

My cocoa butter stick. It’s great as a lip balm and for dry cuticles (we have to wash our hands so much as Mums)

‘Me Time’ and Guilty Pleasures:

What’s “me time”? Ha! Just kidding. “Me Time” right now is sitting out and getting a bit of sunshine with my iPod pumping. We all know we struggle with that “house colour” after we have the baby, so I try to get a little vitamin D and have a 'woosah moment' while eliminating the inevitable pale.

I never craved sugar my entire pregnancy. A very guilty pleasure is the sugar cravings I now get, especially while or after nursing. Hey, I tell myself I could use the calories since I’m burning so many...that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

.

Glam Must Haves:

Visine! Especially in the early months...your eyes can tell so much about your rest, or the lack thereof.

Mascara- it helps to brighten the face.

Bronzer- for a bit of a glow. It’s possible to feel a little “dull” initially, but we can still surely be radiant.

A great baby bag...that he [Daddy] will carry!- We often have our hands quite full with our precious cargo so why not make that bag of essentials one that he will have no reservations about. There are so many great options out there.

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.

How would you describe your style?

Comfort=confidence=sexy. I always put comfort first. I have to feel good and not feel self-conscious. We all have that part of our body that we have reservations about, and the art of style, for me, is dressing yourself in a way that you forget that 'part' even exists. My style varies from a good ol’ tank and boyfriend jeans to a sassy romper to a floor length maxi dress; it is entirely up to my mood and what makes me feel comfy.

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.

Many of us have heard ‘ flat like a willy penny’, but you’ve been immortalized in song by Aidonia – “Mi gal dem hot like Yendi, belly flat like dem have no belly!”* What’s your secret to that awesome tummy? *(Go Hard And Done – Wayne Marshall feat. Aidonia, Bounty Killer,

Damian Marley & Vybz Kartel)

Ha! Ahm...I’m not even sure how to answer that. Well thanks a ton. I’ve been lucky enough to have a little girl with an appetite 5 times her greedy mama’s...hehe. She’s a really good eater and was exclusively breast fed for quite some time. That, in and of itself, has great benefits.

That aside, I did yoga through my pregnancy and also did post-natal yoga. I love a good plank to strengthen my core. If I don’t get anything else done, I do a plank.

Biggest hallenge since becoming a mother:

Balance. The balancing act of spending quality time with my baby but still doing TV hosting, event hosting, acting, appearances and on and on. The beauty of what I do is that most gigs happen after I put her down for the night. So I still get to spend the day with her.

What’s the difference between Yendi pre and post Mummy?

.

Perhaps the biggest difference, is that I am even more connected to my creator. I have always been a spiritual person, but I feel even more connected having been a vessel of creation. Israel has taught me the beauty of simplicity, and provided me with the most pure and honest experience of my life. I am forever changed having been blessed with the challenging yet most rewarding journey of motherhood.

Where is your favourite family vacation destination?

I can’t name a specific spot, but we’re definitely travelers; both locally and internationally. And for now we’re inclined to go wherever there’s a great body of water, as we have a real life little mermaid in Israel; she loves the water.

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BABY

by Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis MBBS, DM (OB-GYN), Jamaica Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis is our Consultant Obstetrician and Gynecologist who answers your questions and addresses your concerns on medical matters pertaining to bumps, babies and beyond.

Dr. Davis is mother to 3 yr old Imani.

She is an avid reader who, like all our contributing writers, has a passion for children and parenting. Dr. Davis lives in Mandeville, and practices in both Kingston and Mandeville, Jamaica.

Send your questions to info@b3caribbeanmagazine.com

Doc, I really want to be in the delivery room with my wife, but I’m very nervous about the fluids and blood. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m squeamish when it comes to stuff like that. What can I really expect? .

Participating in the birth of your child is one of life’s greatest moments and comes with great responsibility. Your role on that magical day is to be relaxed so that you can participate comfortably, and to be encouraging. In order to perform these roles I suggest that you stay at the head of the delivery bed with your wife helping her to breathe properly during her contractions and keep her as relaxed as possible. This way you will not come in contact with blood or fluids during the birth process. After delivery of the baby the attending midwife can assist you in cutting the umbilical cord away from your wife while she delivers the placenta which can result in most of the blood loss associated with the birth process. I also suggest that you attend as

many of her prenatal appointments so that your wife’s doctor can adequately address any questions/concerns you many have relating to labour and delivery. Attending childbirth classes can also be helpful in the preparation process. These suggestions will

likely help you feel more confident with what to expect during labour and childbirth along with acquiring ideas and techniques to help your wife through the experience.

My 17-month-old son recently started swimming lessons at a nearby pool, but I stopped him after I noticed a recurring rash on his back. I took him to the doctor who gave him an ointment for liver spots. He says that it’s okay for him to resume lessons, but I’m afraid they’ll come right back. Is there anything I can do to prevent liver spots?

Liver spots otherwise called Pityriasis vesicolor is one of the most common skin diseases in tropical and subtropical areas of the world. Yeast (fungus) is usually present on the skin but when the yeast overgrows, it causes this skin disease. Although this skin disorder is a result of a fungal infection it is not “contagious” and therefore does

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NOT spread from one person to another.

Predisposing factors for this skin disorder includes exposure to hot, humid weather, excessive sweating, oily skin and a weakened immune system.

With proper treatment this condition is easy to treat, however, the skin may stay lighter (or darker) for weeks or months. The

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skin will however eventually return to its normal color. It is indeed okay to resume swimming lessons, unfortunately this skin condition can easily recur with exposure to the sun as this may trigger or worsen an episode, and a tan makes the rash more visible.

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1.

TIPS FOR MANAGING AND PREVENTING RECURRENCE INCLUDE:

Be sure to apply sunscreen at least 20 minutes before sun exposure. Make sure to use a sunscreen that offers UVA and UVB protection with Sun

2.

Protection Factor (SPF) of 30 or more and has a non-greasy formula.

Ensure to keep the skin dry at all times.

3.

Continue to use an antifungal shampoo and ointment at least once per week for about two months after the initial treatment is completed.

I’m 21 weeks pregnant, and I have felt my baby move only once or twice. My Doctor says everything is fine, but I’m worried. My sister-in-law is 3 weeks behind me in her pregnancy, and her baby moves constantly.

Is something wrong with me? Or do I have a lazy baby?

movements one day and then none the next although your baby is moving and kicking regularly. By 26 weeks (61/2months) your baby’s nervous system matures therefore allowing the muscles to move more regularly to stimuli. Movements at this time are stronger and occur more frequently.

At this time your baby will also develop a unique pattern allowing your perception of fetal movements to be a reassuring sign of your baby’s wellbeing.

Once you're in your third trimester l recommend that you pay special attention to your baby’s pattern of movement each day by counting your baby's kicks. This can be done in several ways using “kick charts," so ask your doctor for specific instructions based on physician preference. As long as there's no decrease in your baby's usual activity level, chances are he's doing just fine. .

A mother's first perception of fetal movement is termed "quickening" and is often described as a gentle flutter.

Quickening typically begins in the second trimester, as early as 16 weeks (4months) in veteran moms and after 20 weeks (5 months) in first time mothers. Therefore

a woman who has been pregnant before can more easily distinguish her baby's kicks from other belly rumblings. Perhaps your sister-in-law is not a first time mother.

Prior to 24 weeks it is normal for these movements to be few and far between. It is customary that you may feel several

My 6-month-old son has been diagnosed with eczema. His doctor gave me a prescription cream to use but I’m not comfortable applying such a strong cream to my young baby. Do you have a suggestion for something natural that is not as strong?

I am not exactly sure what has been prescribed for your child. I suspect from the use of the word “strong” that these creams contain steroids. If this is the case then your doctor most likely believed that the eczema was severe enough to warrant steroidal use.

Therefore I would not recommend that you discontinue using the creams prescribed but raise your concerns with your paediatrician.

Prescription steroid creams and ointments are usually prescribed to control mild to

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moderate eczema otherwise referred to as “Atopic Dermatitis”. It is proven safe to use in infants six months and over. Theses creams and ointments are available in a variety of strengths and most likely due to your child’s age the least potent strength was prescribed.

There are steroid-sparing agents now available on the market that can be applied in addition to theses steroid containing creams and ointments minimising their absorption in the blood stream and hence limit side effects of their use. You can therefore ask your doctor to also prescribe one in addition to any steroidal cream or ointment.

Once the condition has improved, a non-medicated emollient can be used.

Emollients are creams and ointments that moisturize the skin and prevent it from drying out. This is very important in controlling eczema outbreaks. The best emollients for people with eczema are thick creams (such as Eucerin®, Cetaphil®, and Nutraderm®) or ointments (such as

petroleum jelly, Aquaphor®, and Vaseline®), which contain little to no water. Aveeno® also has a line of products that are eczema friendly that in my opinion has given excellent results. You can try any of these products until one becomes suitable to your liking. Any moisturizing creams or ointments used should be fragrance-free and may need to be used more than once a day.

I recommend using emulsifying ointment to bathe your child. This should be used alone in a lukewarm bath which will help to hydrate and cool the skin, and may reduce itching. Perfumed, deodorant, and anti-bacterial soaps should not be used. A moisturising cream or ointment should be applied immediately after a bath. A good emollient I recommend using after a bath, is 5% glycerine in aqueous cream which is readily available in pharmacies and is also inexpensive. Also use mild, unscented laundry soap to wash your child’s clothes.

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BABY

My Baby Can Read .

By Alykat Moss, Kingston, Jamaica

So, imagine how frustrated I was as a new mother, watching my TV and seeing babies who could read. Was I doing something wrong? Was I a bad mother?

I

marched to my laptop and ordered “Your Baby Can Read Volumes 1, 2 and 3”. Two months later I picked up my DVD set in Miami, all excited to teach my 11 month old son to read.

The moment I popped out the first of five DVDs and saw the index word cards I knew, I just knew my Jude would be reading in a few months. I designed a strict program; he will watch one DVD two times a day (after meals) and once he mastered one DVD we’d be on to the next. I strapped him in his high chair to make sure he couldn’t escape from learning (don’t you judge me, it’s not evil, it’s discipline).

The first time Jude watched his new DVD, his eyes were bright with wonder, I watched as he absorbed all the words on the screen, totally engrossed. I was so proud. One week later he was touching body parts as they read them out on screen! And repeating words!

Oh My God, it’s happening!! So after two weeks we moved on to DVD two, then two weeks later, DVD three. Now it was time to test my little genius, with the index word cards in hand I began to quiz my gifted son. First word card, “What does this say Jude?” He stared at me. Second word card, he looked at me blankly. “You know the word Jude, Come on, tell me what it is”, I pleaded. No answer.

Oh My God, my baby is stupid!!! No, no, can’t be that, he can count to 10, he can say all the words on the DVDs, maybe it’s me, I’m not a good teacher (Lord knows I lack patience, a key tool needed to teach). So I watched a few YouTube videos and saw how the other parents did it. In my notes I had “Smile a lot”. So I try again the

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next day. First I let him watch a DVD, then I used the index word cards from that DVD to quiz him. With a BIG smile I asked “What’s this word sweetie?” just like the other happy mothers. But still I got the blank gaze. What am I doing wrong?!!!!! Why can’t my baby read!?

Now I decide to Google the negative reviews on Your Baby Can Read and lo and behold, it’s not just me! Mothers, fathers, grandparents, uncles and aunts are complaining that all this product does is teach kids to memorize a DVD, which all kids will do if they watch the same thing over and over again.

So wait! What!? Have I been conned? So babies can’t read? But those babies in the commercial? Lies? NO? YES! So after all that money and time spent, my baby cannot read. I have since taught him to spell and read his own name – all by myself might I add. Although I am disappointed and a bit wounded after being caught and conned as a vulnerable new mother, I still know that we really want only the best for our “perfect” babies, so maybe I should not feel too bad…maybe.

On the up side, my son did learn a lot of new words from the DVD’s and is now a chronic DVD addict. Yay!!! (And I now read ALL the reviews first!)

Your Baby Can Read was developed in 1995 by Dr. Robert Titzer of Indiana University. More than one million families have used the products which claimed the best time for children to learn to read is when they are infants and toddlers, before they go to school. Your Baby Can Read encouraged parents to start children reading from as young as 3 months old. Your Baby Can Read has since received extensive negative publicity and a class action lawsuit.

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From about 6 months of age, babies should obtain most of their vitamins and minerals from complementary foods.

But with less than 20% of the capacity of a grown-up tummy, and up to 5 times higher vitamin and mineral needs for healthy growth, babies require the support of fortified complementary foods, formulated to bring the essential nutrition baby needs in small portions.

.

babies’ tummies are very small, they need about • Since five small nutrient rich meals each day to maintain their

• • Iron Zinc

rapid growth.

Each serving of NESTUM Infant Cereal delivers 4-5 times more vitamins and minerals than unfortified cereals and helps to meet baby’s key nutrient needs.

Only NESTUM Infant Cereals contain the probiotic BIFIDUS BL & key nutrients to promote natural immune support to help strengthen babies’ natural defences day by day.

b3EATS

Kid Chef Extraordinaire: .

MASTER JAI DAVID MAIR

By Gina-May Mair Kingston, Jamaica

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It’s Summertime! Keeping our children occupied is high on most parents’ priority lists. Getting our children involved in the home not only creates activity for our youngsters, but also provides a great tool for teaching responsibility as well as character building.

M

eet Jai David: an adventurous yet focused 8-year-old with an incredible passion for cooking and creating fun and healthy meal options. Yes, we know he’s only 8, but he’s good, and Jai has an appetite for life. He spends his weekends riding his bicycle, dirt bike, fishing, swimming competitively and lyming in the Blue Mountains high above Kingston. This Chelsea supporter loves the Beautiful game whether it is supporting the Reggae Boyz in the Office, taking to the field at Ballaz International with his team or watching at home on the big screen with his three brothers for a competitive FIFA match on PS3.

Not one to be easily swayed from his goals, he has been flexing his negotiating skills and entrepreneurial leanings since the tender age of 2 when he traded his earnings for a metal shovel after realizing he could achieve greater earnings with the superior tool.

He is a picky eater who is learning to expand his palate by getting creative in the kitchen and at this time breakfast is his favourite fare. His musical selections while playing in the kitchen feature Bob Marley, Sizzla, Garnett Silk and a host of jazz greats such as Miles and Ella to name a few. Jai is a nature lover and a self-proclaimed 'roots man' who wishes that humankind would treat Planet Earth with love and respect.

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Here is one of his favourite meals to make THE FRESH WAHOO BURGER

By Jai David Mair INGREDIENTS ˏˏ

1 lb wahoo minced ˏˏ 1 tbsp ginger rough chopped ˏˏ 1/3 c scallion + yellow onion

ˏˏ

1.

4.

Heat skillet on medium high heat.

5.

Divide wahoo mixture into 8 servings. Form into hearty patties.

ˏˏ

1 tbsp Weber gourmet burger seasoning ˏˏ 1-1/2 tbsp Lee Kum Kee Guilin chili sauce

ˏˏ

2 cups Panko (Japanese) bread crumbs 2 tbsp olive oil

DIRECTIONS

2.

3.

Mix wahoo through chili sauce together.

Allow to marinate for 15 minutes in the refrigerator.

Remove from refrigerator, allow to sit for 5 minutes.

6.

Add Panko bread crumbs.

Fry patty 2 minutes on each side. Cover for 1 minute. Remove cover and flip

for another 30 seconds to a minute.

7.

Serve sizzling hot with your favourite local sauce. I recommend a tamarind with this wahoo burgers. .

SAFETY TIPS FOR YOUR LITTLE CHEF Having your kids in the kitchen is a great way to develop a healthy attitude towards food. It’s a fun and creative process, but as with all things for children, requires supervision and care. Employ simple guidelines and precautions with your kids to help ensure that time spent in the kitchen is safe and productive. ˏˏ

ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ

ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ

Children should always get permission before cooking. Although fun, the kitchen can be a dangerous place – cooking should not be attempted by children alone.

Wash hands thoroughly with soap before, during and after handling food.

Tie back long hair to prevent it from falling into food or catching fire.

Wear an apron to protect clothing.

Always read the recipe with your child before starting. Look out for when the recipe calls for any action that will require assistance or supervision, and be there to help them Keep your work area organized and efficient. Get everything together before starting to cook.

Don’t run in the kitchen.

Hold knives by their handles only.

Keep pot handles turned in. There should be no handles over the edge of stove.

Never leave any cooking unattended.

Prevent fires: never leave tea towels on the stove top.

Have fun in the kitchen and be safe!

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b3ESCAPES

.

SingleParent Fun at Beaches Resorts S.P.F now has a new meaning. It's no longer just something you need to look for on sunblock tubes.

It's also crucial time off.

Playtime for parents.

Single. Parent. Fun.

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E

ach issue, we comb the Caribbean for great getaways for parents-tobe and young families alike.

This issue we’re excited to share with you the ultimate escape for parenting happiness! Roll call for all the single parents …put your hands up!

For so many single parents, a stress-free vacation often remains a distant dream.

But it certainly doesn’t have to. Beaches Resorts, one of the world’s leading vacation destinations for children of all ages introduces their Single Parent Fun Month designed especially for single mothers and

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fathers. Here, parents are offered all the amenities of a Luxury Included® vacation, including luxurious accommodations, a la carte dining, stunning beachfront locations and the award-winning Red Lane® Spa. Imagine a world where your children are occupied from dusk until dawn – happily occupied. From the ever–popular weekly Beaches Caribbean Adventure with Sesame Street™ Parades, to all the latest Kinect™ games for Xbox 360® Family Game Night, or painting their own musical designs directly onto complimentary souvenir records at the Scratch DJ Spin Art Session. The fun is never-ending!

They say there’s strength in numbers, and Beaches provides a great opportunity for single parents to meet and share with

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others who have similar experiences. “For many single Moms and Dads, especially those who do not live with their children full-time, the thought of planning a vacation on their own can be daunting,” says Adam Stewart, CEO of Beaches Resorts.

“At Beaches Resorts, we take every possible measure to make it easy for parents to plan a trip with their kids, while also ensuring that we provide them with a true vacation experience as well.” arents who sign up for the SPF program will enjoy tailored activities and events, allowing them to spend one-on-one time with their children during the day, and then partake in adult conversation at night.

When night sets in, families can dip their feet in the water while snacking on popcorn and watching a movie on an inflatable floating screen at Dive-In Movie nights.

Other exciting activities include Family Beach bonfires complete with roasted marshmallows.

“All single parents can book with ease, knowing their children – no matter what age – will find something they will enjoy at Beaches Resorts. From the Beaches Resorts Caribbean Adventure with Sesame Street to adult receptions and fun activities for the whole family, there is certainly something for everyone at Beaches Resorts – Parents included,” Stewart added.

During Beaches Resorts’ SPF months (September 3 - October 31) the single supplement fee (of up to $220 per night) is waived at both Beaches Resorts locations in Jamaica with a minimum three night stay. So pack your sunblock and up your SPF factor with Beaches Resorts. .

P

Above Left: Dive-in movie night gives parents time off while kids entertain themselves.

Above Right: X Box 360 family game night - electronic heaven on earth for today's techie kid.

Left: Parent and child time - one of the highlights of Beaches SPF weekend.

To book your Luxury Included® Beaches Resorts vacation today, call your local travel agent or 1-800-BEACHES or visit online at www.beaches.com.

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BEYOND

.

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SINGLE PARENTING

By Michelle Gordon, Kingston, Jamaica .

HELLO, MY NAME IS MICHELLE, AND I’M A SINGLE MOTHER.

I

have a girlfriend who recently lamented the stress of taking care of her 2 children solo while her husband was away on a 10-day business trip. With a nanny, a mother living in close proximity, and several friends on call, I consider her to be very fortunate. That aside, she barely survived an arduous week . She also now believes that I have been keeping secret, my red cape with the large ‘S’ emblazoned on it, wrists that spew webs of protection, eyes that see through walls of any thickness, and magical activation powers, just like the Wonder Twins. If you’re parenting primarily without a spouse, you may agree that these accolades are more than deserved. Here are my two cents…

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BEYOND ON BEING SINGLE

Regardless of how you arrived at Singledom, on behalf of every single parent this side of the Atlantic, I welcome you to a world like no other. In our world, we go through a gamut of emotions all in the space of one encounter. There is a pride that naturally ensues when I wake in the morning, spend some time with God, shower and dress, all while mentally planning the day ahead.

There’s an “I-got-this” kind of feeling that overcomes me as I charge full speed ahead.

Then, enter the eight and five year-olds who have perfected the art of playing dead (only on week-days of course), followed immediately by the moans and groans, the “five more minutes please” and finally the mad rush to bathe after the threat looms of privilege loss. (Hey, don’t judge me… it works!). Hair-combing, dressing, then breakfast time follows in short order. Now here at the dining table comes the daily cry of “this is not what I wanted”. By the time the bell rings at their school, mentally, I have already completed a half-days' manual labour, and am ready for recess. The pride and zest from earlier that morning, has somehow morphed into a plea for strength to survive another day. .

ON THE VILLAGE THAT RAISES CHILDREN

I do believe however, that I may very well be the most fortunate single mother in the world. My support system is irreplaceable.

(I hope they’re reading this). I have a father and mother who win hands-down for being the greatest grandparents (and parents) in the universe. Their devotion to their grandchildren is testament to an unbreakable bond our family shares. And their commitment to help me raise my children honours an imaginary contract that mothers and fathers sign the day they become parents. I have a sister who saves me every time I’m about to go berserk.

Almost telepathically, she knows when to call with the words I need to hear, and when to pop the cork on a bottle of the good stuff.

I also have friends who ride the waves with me like white on rice, and neighbours who watch my children with the same protective eyes that I have.

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BY THE TIME THE BELL RINGS AT THEIR SCHOOL, MENTALLY, I HAVE ALREADY COMPLETED A HALF-DAYS' MANUAL LABOUR, AND AM READY FOR RECESS.

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I COME WITH ‘BAGGAGE’ NOW. THE REALLY EXPENSIVE KIND THAT YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO CHECK IN AT THE COUNTER

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ON DATING AGAIN

I recently attended a party at the invitation of a cousin who obviously has my best interest at heart. It seems I was the only lady there without a husband or partner, which should have increased greatly my chances of finding a mate amongst the myriad of single men there. And it did. But one of the good things about being single AND being a parent, is that it acts as a great filter. The sludge has no way of getting through. Single mothers and fathers who are open and honest about their parental position, will find that when it comes to children, it’s a ‘make or break’ deal. For me, I’m ready. But the game has changed so much. I come with ‘baggage’ now. The really expensive kind that you’re not willing to check in at the counter…No, these bags

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BEYOND MUST come on board with me – in the cabin, or I’m not traveling on this flight. So, as far as finding a life partner, yes, I’d like to, but until I know that there’s the possibility of longevity and a solid future, no boarding passes will be issued – standby travel only. Sorry.

ON WHOM I SHARE MY BED WITH

I work 18 hour days. 7 days a week. Like any normal redblooded woman, I’d like to jump in bed into the comfort of the arms of a friend, a confidante and a supporter. He’d be there to shoulder my cries, share my accomplishments and champion my dreams. Instead, I am the one doing those things, .

and being that rock… to my eight-year-old son and 5-yearold daughter who seem to have inherited my superpowers, ably demonstrated in their incredible ability to mimic heat-seeking missiles and find me anytime, anywhere I happen to hit the sack. In my wellwritten parenting plan, they would sleep soundly through the night, in their respective rooms, while I do the same in mine. However, that’s not my reality. My reality says “I’m-toobloody-tired-to-give-a-rats-ass”, so come on in! I do however, take comfort in the fact that my own mother reminds me that I left her and my father’s bed shortly before my 9th birthday.

So I still have a few months.

Right?

ON DADDY, WHO DOESN’T LIVE AT HOME

When my marriage ended, I made a vow to myself that I would never, not ever, speak ill of my children’s father. I’ve seen far too many friends and strangers suffer at the hands of parent-child relationships gone awry due primarily to words and actions against a spouse.

These words and actions have consequences that manifest long after an angry tongue has wagged. Now we’re all human, and a broken relationship is bound to carry some extent of hurt and raw emotion. But as far as my children will ever see from me…their father rocks!

His photos are up in their rooms, they call him whenever

they want, and he’s number one on our prayer list every night! o, do I love being a single mother? Hell no!

It’s no walk in the park.

But this is where I am.

And while I’m here, I’m giving it all I have. Some days, I have to dig deeper than others. But then I remember that my elastic arms can encircle more than one child at a time, and I can see through walls and read minds.

So I decided to throw out my cape, and my ‘S’ is now a tattoo!

Superman, Spiderman and the entire Justice League pale in comparison to me. Shazam!

Boom! Pow! Blam!

S

b3 Single Parent Tips: DO NOT OVER-COMPENSATE This is one of the easiest traps to fall into for us as single parents. We tend to carry guilt into the parenting process and give them ‘things’ to fill the gaps. The moment we start ‘buying’ them, is the same moment we lose them. Let’s recognize when we’re trying to make up for something, as opposed to giving warranted favour. Don’t give in no matter how tempting.

Children need stability to create a balanced and welladjusted foundation, giving them a predictable pattern to hold on to. They need to know what to expect - especially important for children going through the upheaval that a divorce or the sudden passing of a parent can bring.

CALL ON FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHEN YOU NEED HELP

GET OUT AND GET AWAY

Make a shortlist of persons who you can call on whether you’re asking for an hour to disappear in the bathroom, or if you need someone to collect your child from school. Having that support system gives a sense of sanity that is so necessary especially when things get all topsy-turvy. Don't have a village of support? Build one! Ask around and find other single parents in your area whom you can create play dates with.

You get to unload to someone who can probably finish your sentences and enjoy some adult company. Your child gets some outside play.

This is so important it could easily have been point number one. To parent our children well, we must be emotionally well, and our emotional wellness comes only when there is balance. We work hard and parent hard, so why not let us play hard. Ok, maybe not hard, but let’s definitely take some time for ourselves to breathe and re-focus, and come again.

DO THINGS WITH YOUR CHILDREN Don't get so caught up in the routine, the ‘work’ of it that you forget to enjoy your children.

Is your 6-year-old getting miserable one evening for no apparent reason? Why not try a different tact and instead of doing the “pickney cut out the whining in my head I’ve had a long day”, try switching it up by grabbing her and tickling till she begs you to stop. Happy daughter. Happy parent. Schedule one-on-one time with your kids - an ice cream date is a great tradition you can both look forward to once a week. Dads, have a movie date every other week with your teenage daughter. Make time to relax together and escape the daily grind. Phone down. TV off. Reading together is a great escape.

Do your thing single parents. Follow your intuition. Don’t play hero. Give a lot of love. Receive all that precious love in return. Cherish the journey you’re navigating. It’s worth every (admittedly sometimes stumbling) step. Walk good.

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Pick only the most Nutritious for your baby It’s natural to give your baby the best.

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GERBER® Baby Food Purees are made with real fruits & vegetables which are carefully selected to meet GERBER® high quality standards & provide a good source of nutrition.  NO PRESERVATIVES  NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS GERBER® Baby Food Purees may be introduced from 6 months onward as part of a healthy weaning diet.

Trusted by moms, loved by babies

Planes Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot on location: Ian Flemming International Airport, Boscobel, Jamaica

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Trains Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot on location: Jamaica Railway Corporation, Kingston, Jamaica

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And Automobiles Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot on location: Las Ola Farm, Grange Lane, St. Catherine, Jamaica

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Opposite Page: Fore N Birdie Merrow short sleeve navy/white dress with shank buttons.

Left: Fore N Birdie Shambray dress with navy and white stripe detail and button down placket Trave Case: Timi and Leslie www.foreaxelandhudson.com www.timiandleslie.com

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Speghetti Tops: Christianna Collection Skirts: Fore N Birdie Page-boy Hat: Fore N Birdie www.foreaxelandhudson.com

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Black Plaid Scooter Suit: Fore Roled Cuff Striped Shirt: Fore Chambray Bow Tie: Fore Gentleman's Fedora: Fore www.foreaxelandhudson.com

Vintage Swirl Shift Dress: June Plum Clothing, Village Plaza, Kingston, Jamaica

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Dusty Rose and Black Dress: Kiddo by Katie Pink and White Floral Eyelet Dress: Charabia www.charabia.com

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Pulled Sleeve Sweater Top: June Plum Clothing, Village Plaza Kingston White Eyelet Top & Seersucker Skirt: Fore & Birdie www.foreaxelandhudson.com

Chocolate Check Camp Shirt & Brown Solid Linen Shorts: Fore www.foreaxelandhudson.com

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Dupioni Silk Skirt: Christianna Pink Sweater and Tam: Next

Ditsy Print Dress: Fore & Birdie www.foreaxelandhudson.com

Floral Summer Dresses: Zara www.zara.com

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Ditsy Print Dress: Fore & Birdie www.foreaxelandhudson.com

Floral Summer Dresses: Zara www.zara.com

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White Eyelet Shorts & Shrug: Fore & Birdie www.foreaxelandhudson.com

Black & White Damask Bag: Christianna Collection

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Black Long-Sleeved Turtleneck Blouse: Next Graphic Print Wrap Skirt: Next

BEYOND

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a

By Gilli

n Why

te - Ro

Kingst seway,

on , Jam

aica

Summer is one of the most anticipated holidays on your child's calendar.

The weather is hot and kids are free to sleep-in late, watch TV and play.

For the kids, it’s a time to kick back, relax and enjoy.

For adults it brings the freedom to wake up a little later, less traffic to contend with, and fewer schedules to organise and maintain.

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T

hen, before you know it, the new school year rolls around, and with it comes the hard part of surviving back-toschool. It’s hard on both parents and children. After two months of virtual freedom, the idea of having to return to structure, organization and home work that characterizes school, is now a

foreign and very troubling concept to children. For parents, it’s time to reorganise their lives and get back into the routine of drop-offs, pickups and PTA meetings.

Let’s tackle it from both points of view; what parents can do to help themselves, and what they can do to help their children survive back to school.

PARENTS’ GUIDE FOR SURVIVAL

Follow these simple steps and it should reduce or hopefully eliminate any associated stress. Save, plan, and organise.

new uniforms and shoes, books, stationery, school and lunch bags, just to name a few. A list will keep you organized, and you can check off as you go, leaving you feeling more accomplished and less overwhelmed.

ORGANISE It would suit you well to re-instate school-time bedtimes at least one to two weeks before the start of school. The last thing you want on the first day of school is the task of waking a child who has become accustomed to a late nights and later mornings. Their body clocks have slowed down over the past 2 ½ months of freedom, so it’s only fair to give them a re-adjustment period guaranteeing you and child less stress, and an easier transition. Putting all their school gear together from the night before will surely help the getting ready process. .

Above: Being organised makes everyone happy.

SAVE We are all aware of the high costs associated with back to school, so try to save for it.

Instead of trying to pull off a miracle with your August salary, reserve a portion each month. It’s easier said than done, but still, try.

PLAN Create a to-do list to coordinate everything that needs to be completed. Ensure you include major items that need to be bought, and tackle them early to avoid the last minute rush. This includes

I

PARENTS’ GUIDE FOR KID’S SURVIVAL

n an article written by Dr. Ruth A. Peters, information from Ron Fairchild, Executive Director of the Johns Hopkins University Centre for Summer Learning suggests: “All students experience learning losses when they do not engage in educational activities during the summer. This may differ for each child, but the fact that there is no structured learning for the extended period of time, competency is decreased.

While I don’t recommend shipping kids off to summer school for the entire holiday, a few weeks certainly won’t hurt. Another option is to create your own learning plan for the summer. Allow children free time to relax and play but incorporate learning activities into the schedule. Make learning fun. Activities can be both academic and physical. For academia, create a reading list, this way children can find other ways to be engaged, apart from television. This is also a good opportunity to incorporate books from the book list for

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PREPARE Get your child ready for his or her return to the classroom. Talk about it and depending on your child’s age and stage, you can ‘show’ it to them on a calendar. Make it sound like the most exciting thing is about to happen to them, and be sure to involve them in the process. Let them join you for back-to-school shopping. Older children can assist you in wrapping their new books, while the younger ones can help pick their new lunch kits! They’ll be very excited to pack their bags knowing that they were a part of the process.

the new school year. Have a quiz at the end of the holidays to find out what they have learned from the books they read. To keep kids active enrol them in various activities, like swimming or tennis. It can even be as simple as playtime in your own back yard. Turn off the video games for a while each afternoon, and start a game of basketball, football or jump rope. This will ensure kids stay fit and healthy over the summer. Don’t forget to schedule a beach day or pool party, to get in some quality time. A family vacation is another way to enjoy part of the summer together and have some fun before the school year begins.

The summer may seem long but it will be back-to-school-time before you know it. Keep track of the items on your to-do list so you don’t forget anything. Follow this guide and make your personal modifications, to simply life and organize your back to school routine.

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BEYOND

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2 Cool School

There are backpacks, and there are BACKPACKS! We tested several brands of 'back-to-school' gear and these topped our list as the most attractive and durable of the pack. Send your kids back to school in fine style with these great selections from the following brands.

Blok by Mad Pax

The Blok is the newest kid on the Madpax block . It’s time to rock the BLOK. They broke the mold on this one; so get off the grid and cast a spell with BLOK, the latest formula of funk from your friends at MadPax. Mighty towers of power and punch meet squares of rare. madpax.com $60

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Spiketus Rex Full Pack by MadPax

The fullpack is the mack daddy of all the MadPax built for kids on the go. Store your books or guard your gear with a style that says you are one-of-a-kind. A stand out series for those who want to stick out from the crowd. High schoolers to mini rollers, all are welcome. madpax.com $60

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BEYOND

Pocchari by Dante Beatrix

These insulated lunch boxes are a playful way to keep food fresh until lunch time. Made with heavy-duty nylon and machine washable for kid-proof durability and easy cleaning. The back has a name tag and a zipped pocket.

Tested PVC Free, phthalate free, lead free & BPA free. beatrixny.com $34

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Rory by Dante Beatrix

Embroidered with beloved forest creatures, these sturdy little packs hold everything a child needs for a busy day. Constructed from durable nylon and easy-to-clean laminated canvas. The large interior contains a smaller zipped pocket. Padded back panel and padded shoulder straps.

Designed for ages 2 to 5, and 5 to 10.

PVC free, lead free, phthalate free & BPA free beatrixny.com Little Kid $52 Big Kid $42

Zoo Packs Little Kid Backpacks by Skip Hop

The Zoo Pack is the little kid backpack where “fun meets function!” Whimsical details and durable materials make this the perfect on-the-go pack for kids on-the-go! skiphop.com Backpack $20 Water Bottle $6

For orders in Jamaica, email orders@b3caribbeanmagazine.com

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BEYOND

Children’s Summer Movie Guide “There's 104 days of summer vacation, and school comes along just to end it. So the annual problem for our generation, is finding a good way to spend it…”

Y

- Phinneas & Ferb theme song

ou’ve probably already planned and plotted how to occupy your children’s summer holidays. If going to the movies ranks high on your to-do list, (which kid doesn’t like the movies?), we’ve selected what we think will be some fun flicks to entertain your young ones, if only for a short while.

Despicable Me

Starring Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig. Directed by Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud (July 2013) In the original Despicable Me, a criminal mastermind uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, but he finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better.

This year, Gru is recruited by the Anti-Villain League to help deal with a powerful new super criminal.

If you’re the parent of a toddler or young child, you KNOW that it really is true that kids say the darndest things! Share the laughter and send your cute kid stories to editor@ b3caribbeanmagazine.com

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Disney’s Planes

Starring Val Kilmer, Julia LouisDreyfus and Brad Garrett.

Directed by Klay Hall (August 2013) Dusty is a cropdusting plane who dreams of competing in a famous aerial race. The problem?

He is hopelessly afraid of heights.

With the support of his mentor Skipper and a host of new friends, Dusty sets off to make his dreams come true.

Top Cat: The Movie

Starring Jason Harris and Chris Edgerly.

Directed

by Alberto Mar (August 2013) Top Cat and the gang face a new police chief, who is not at all happy with the poor officer Dribble's performance trying to prevent Top Cat's scams.

b3 Belly Laughs

The Smurfs 2

Starring Neil Patrick Harris and Hank Azaria. Directed

by Raja Gosnell (July 2013) The Smurfs team up with their human friends to rescue Smurfette, who has been kidnapped by Gargamel since she knows a secret spell that can turn the evil sorcerer's newest creation - creatures called the Naughties - into real Smurfs.

Roger, 8: Now I know for sure that when you mix blue and yellow, it turns green.

Mummy: You mixed some paint at school today?

Roger: Nope, I just peed in this blue toilet water, and it turned green!!

Mummy: What’s the past tense of cry?

Mary, 6: BAWL!

Luke, 3: “God is good, God is ‘grace’, let us ‘spank’ him for our food. Amen

2 year old Kayla answers the telephone.

Caller: Hello Kayla, do you know who you’re talking to?

Turbo

Starring Ryan Reynold and Paul Giamatti. Directed by David Soren (July 2013) A freak accident might just help an everyday garden snail achieve his biggest dream: winning the Indy 500.

Kayla: Yes Caller: Really, who?

Kayla, 2: To you!

Check your local theatre for listings.

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BEYOND

The Blended Family Lets Go Global!

Getting to the stage of a successful 'blended family' may be a ‘whole heap’ of work (see what our own Tami and Wayne had to say on the subject on pg 22) - but with the right perspective, attitude, and solid commitment all around there’s nothing but a ‘whole lotta love’ to be gained. Here are some of our standout celeb Blended Families who make ‘mix up and blenda’ nice and smooth! (Straw) Hats off to them! Did we mention they’ve all got Caribbean roots in the mix? Mmmmhmm.

Mellow Vibes indeed. .

THE BELAFONTE’S

ALICIA KEYS & SWIZZ BEATS

JADA AND WILL SMITH

Being so “Spice-y”, of course she has Caribbean heritage (her dad hails from Nevis). This former Spice Girl and popular personality Mel B. already had two children of her own — daughters Phoenix, and Angel (with Eddie Murphy) — when she wed Stephen Belafonte who has a daughter. The two welcomed their first child together (another girl!) in 2011.

She recorded in Jamaica (again) this year and has performed/ vacationed around our Caribbean region extensively.

By becoming Mrs. Swizz Beatz, Alicia Keys started singing a step-mom tune for his three children. They recently welcomed sweet boy Egypt to their family melody. *Did you know Swizz has Puerto Rican ancestry on his Mother’s side?

How could we TOUCH a blended family piece and not close with the Smiths? Jada Pinkett Smith famously penned a letter on the subject this year giving advice - yeah, you guessed, it went viral.

She also has Caribbean heritage, “Bajan” (ie Barbados) to be exact!

Her husband Will has a son from a previous relationship - and she fiercely shared her journey with the world through social media. We couldn’t close with a better tip from one who’s living it: I learned if I am going to love Trey [Will’s son]...I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him...his mother.

And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other... but we have learned to LOVE each other. I can’t support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls...We can’t say we love our man and then come in between him and his children.

THAT’S selfishness...NOT love. WOMAN UP... I’ve been there...I know. My blended family made me a giant… Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It’s time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are.

(Source: Jada Pinkett Smith On Blended Families: ‘These Are The Situations That Separate Women From Girls’. Huffington Post. Posted February 19, 2013)

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BEYOND

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Dad-De-Coded : Lil Duval

By Claire Stewart

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L

il Duval is nothing if not a hilarious, straight talking staple on MTV 2 and well beyond. Born Roland Powell, he’s father to 5-year-old Nyla. We fell in love with him when we saw him singing “Lady” to his little girl (check it out on YouTube!).

You will too. Trust us. That is if you haven't already been hooked by his make-

So from pep rallies to having your own show - and your own giant bobble head. Is this where you thought you’d be?

It’s what I set out for it to be so I guess, yeah. I got into it to be the best at what I do and to get acknowledged and have everybody enjoy my entertainment.

and not a good disciplinarian.

I’ll try to act like I’m mad but it be funny to me so I’ll have to hold my face without bustin’ a laugh.

You’re a man with quick comebacks. Your first thoughts:

When you heard you were going to be a Dad: When I heard I was going to be a Dad it was like (pauses): “You sure this baby mine??” was the first thing I thought! “You sure I’m go be a baby daddy??”

You ‘ big up’ the county you’re from in your name [Duval country in Jacksonville, Florida, is where he was raised] When you held your and you definitely daughter for the first rep for the Bahamas... time: especially on Twitter!

What’s your Bahamian connection?

My Mother’s family is from the Bahamas so she’d have us there every summer to go live with my Grandparents and then come back to the States.

Mr Funny Man / Disciplinarian. Do you get hard core serious with her when you have to?

Yeah, I mean, I have to put on a face to act like I be mad but I really don’t. I don’t want to come off as a push over with her

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get her smell from me!”

being successful in life because they curse. Cursin’ and sex.

Those two things ain’t stopped nobody being nothing in their life.

If you had to set them, what would be your top 5 trending hashtags for Dads?

Your funniest moment with your Daughter?

Ammmm...#whatdadssay... hashtag, lets see... #daddy. #whereyouthinkyougoing. #youaintwearingthat. #whyyouwatchingthatatfive (laughs) That type of stuff.

Shoot. Everytime I’m with her it’s funny! Cause just watching her, she’s kinda like me. She has my personality and has a little wit like I have. I guess that’s funny to me just seeing me in her. .

Do you brush her hair?

I actually tried to do her hair but, somehow it didn’t come out like how I had it thought up in my mind.

Well that’s admirable to try!

Get in Guy Code mode for a minute. One “#Dontjudgeme” Dad moment:

Yeah, I tried!

What the h#ll are you going to do if your little girl gets her eyes on that Twitter account?

My girl looks at my twitter account!

Have you taken your daughter there?

I haven’t taken her yet. I was trying to wait til’ she gets a little older so she can understand it and know what she’s doing.

Right now she’s just real young...I plan on taking her probably in another year or two.

you-laugh-dangerously-hard ‘keepin’ it real’ perspectives. He’s got a deadpan delivery which b3 experienced first hand. And you hear him smile when he talks about his daughter. Now that’s real. With 2 top-rated MTV 2 shows (“Guy Code” and “Ain’t that America”, which he Hosts), Duval is rising, shining, and reppin’ his Bahamian roots with pride. Dads, this one’s especially for you. #enjoy.

She does??

Yeah! Me and my girl cool!

Oh when I held her, I cried. I cried and then I looked at her to see if she looked like she had any type of similarities to me so I could know, hey, is this really my baby!

On seeing the first pooped diaper (did you do that??)

Yeah I did that. I thought she stank! I was like dang, she don’t

No, no, not your ‘girl’ your LITTLE girl!

Oh my LITTLE girl looking at my account! She has to understand this is what Daddy do for a living. To provide for her to be able to go to the private schools. To entertain.

At the end of the day I’m a comedian. It’s just like when I was a kid I was listening to Richard Pryor. I don’t say nothing messed up I just curse.

I’ve never heard of nobody not

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#DontJudgeMe...When I drop my daughter off at daycare I still listen to the music that was playing on the way over. (laughs)

Three words to describe being a Dad...

Patience. Ahhh. Let’s see.

Patience. Shoot I could say it in one. Patience. And being a Dad for a daughter is different because it makes me realise I have to be a bit more sensitive.

Patience, sensitivity and understanding

Lil Duval currently stars in “Guy Code”, a straightforwardly conceived show about men giving advice to other men on the vagaries of dudeishness. The latest season cemented “Code’s” status as the most-watched original series ever on MTV2. Duval also hosts “Ain’t That America with Lil Duval”, which began airing July 9 and was the second highest-rated telecast in MTV2 history. The new series features comedian Lil Duval and friends sharing the craziest viral videos from every corner of the country. Every week, Duval crowns the American Hero. We’re tuning in Tuesdays at 11:30 p.m ET/PT!

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BEYOND

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By Sara Conner, Houston Texas, from Jamaica

“Here she comes to save the daaaay….” Fully clad in my shiny cape of red. My emblem beamed with promise and hope. I flexed my muscles, put on my game face, poised to make proud the “S” on my chest. Yes. Ready to take on the world all at once – Superwoman is ready for flight. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s an epic fail … “Mayday, Mayday”. News flash: Superwoman has no super … it’s just woman.

I

just knew based on all the celebrity stories and dreams I made up in my head I would be able to handle IT all. “It” being the perfectly charming wife, who cooks, manages the home, is demure, domestic and gives ravishing sex in a tutu on demand. “It” being the adoring parent who preserves all the childhood memories in catalogued scrapbooks and loved by all. “It” being the star employee everyone envied for her flawless success and rabid determination. “It” being the fit, healthy, zero body fat girlfriend. “It” is JUST too much!

We have been inundated with visions on the extremes of life.

On the one hand we have the June Carter image from “Leave it to Beaver” ever perfect, ever joyful, creaseless and looking stellar in

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heels as she cooks a roast mess free. On the other we have the Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta loud talkers who seem to feel they have to fight everyone for everything. See, this is where we get confused. We get tempted to think superwoman is strong because she never breaks a sweat or because she makes everyone else sweat.

We try to do the impossible – balance everything and please everyone. We make the mistake of believing we can give 100% to everything and remain sane. Truth is many of us are bordering on or experiencing depression, disappointment, frustration and anxiety. Our bulletproof capes hide the fragility of a stressed heart and fractured mind. Alicia Keys Superwoman song goes a little like this

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“ ‘Cause I am a Superwoman, Yes, I am, Yes she is, still when I’m a mess, I still put on a vest with an S on my chest, Oh yes, I’m a Superwoman.”

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creeeechhhhh. Hold Up. Come again? It’s true!

This is what we do. We resist looking vulnerable and authentic and instead live plastic lives. Lives scurrying and hurrying, panicked and frantic – trying to be it all; wife, mother, entrepreneur, student, employee, friend, daughter, sister …. Lookee here ya’ll rodeo chicks, It is time we retire the cape and the idea. Leave the superhero stuff for the movies and enjoy living. Here’s how I do it. I don’t. I just don’t anymore. I don’t subscribe to the idea of balance.

I don’t accept the idea I must be and do everything for everyone. I rebel against the notion that my power lies in being perfect in the eyes of my peers. With dug-in feet I claw at the ties that pull me into “having it all together”. Like a hippie at Sundance I cast off my cape and dance into the fields of my reality.

Prioritize. That’s it. Simple. Everyday something is going to lack some of my attention. I am not physically able to balance meaning, I cannot give 8 hours to God, 8 hours to my husband, 8 hours to my kids, 8 hours to my job etc. all in the same day. I cannot give equal time to all the facets of my life hoping they all feel valued at the same level. That’s the Superwoman stuff we feel guilty about – the impossibility to equally balance everything and everyone with equal amounts of attention and energy.

Sooo now, it becomes about quality and not quantity of time.

You spend a night dating your husband and in return you have not

spent time with your children. See? So, this is just me and not any great guru out of the Himalayas talking. I pick ‘Mama Moments’. I pick 'Hottie Tamale' moments. If that means scheduling sex during one week and it being spontaneous the next then so be it. What we know is no one wants to be intimate and at the same time thinking about the dinner you have to cook, the job tomorrow, the thread count or the dreaded ‘when will this end, I have things to do’ thoughts. I have learned to live in the present – the right here, the right now. Though I have schedules and obligations, I have to be fully present or I will lack the fulfillment that comes from giving my best.

In taking control of my emotions and stopping the sense of failure that plagues so many superwomen. I traded in the idea of “I am not enough, I don’t do enough” for “I am enough, my best is accepted”. I stopped comparing and realized athletes who kept their focus on other people in the race rarely stayed in their lane. They often times fouled out. I learned to run MY race. You and I are

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equipped to live our best lives – not the lives of others. Here is how you should retire your Superwoman with grace: Accept The Truth – you have nothing to prove, you are already brilliant, confident, equipped and ready for this moment in your life Know each day you must prioritize. Focus on quality more than quantity of time. `Find a system that works for you. For me – I put my son to bed (3yrs) and I watch some weird lil’ show with my daughter. After they’re down I chat with my husband. In the morning he takes them to school and I get peace by myself before work.

Learn to say “No” to good, and “Yes” to better – better to have 10 minutes of focused excellence than 2hrs of mediocrity with your heart distracted. People don’t lose because of lack of heart, they lose because of broken focus.

Choose your battles – you can’t fight everything everyday. Is peace with your husband more important than the fight you are going to have over him wetting up the sink? .

Make time, however short, to decompress, meditate and be by yourself. I usually can escape in the shower which ends up being marathons of time.

Take a Sabbath – this means a day – YES a day to do things that inspire and invigorate you - not your WORK

It’s a strange thing to see it lying there on the floor. Crumpled.

Disheveled and abandoned. It was a necessary abandonment. I needed to leave the Superwoman lie that I am expected to manage everything seamlessly. Nope. Not anymore. I am more interested in making a name with my family than gaining medals from my friends. I am more passionate about fulfilling purpose than I am pleasing people. I am dedicated to peace on earth my people – peace on earth!

So, imagine how much more fulfillment you and I can have hanging up the cape and wearing our own skin instead. I think when we cast off those false expectations and adopt realistic ones there comes a freedom and joy from knowing you can do whatever you are doing very well. You and I will be more creative when stress exits our life. So cheers to a stress free, cape-free life!

Sara Conner is a low-drama mama living in the wild west with her husband Eben and their love children Heaven & Landon. LIKE her on facebook/pastorsara twitter@pastorsara or her blog pastorsara.com

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The Roads Less Traveled

Three of the Best Kept Secrets in Family Travel .

By The Soca Mom - Eva Wilson-Greene, Washington DC, from Trinidad & Tobago

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ith children able to see the world from their laptops, tablets, and phones, parents on a budget may opt to spend more time looking at beautiful destinations with their children online, rather than actually experiencing it with them. No matter how realistic the online experience can be, with crystal clear video and stunning photographs, nothing can replace the feeling they get from dipping their toes in crystal clear water in Tobago, or taking in the stunning views of a hillside sunrise in Bali.

Many families are flocking to the usual vacation spots that are known to cater to children specifically, and are missing out on extraordinary, and often times affordable, trips with their children to breathtaking destinations around the globe. So get your passports, and take a chance on finding new adventures for you and your family in these interesting locations.

SINGAPORE

I traveled to Singapore as a child, and all these years later, it still sticks out in my mind as one of my best vacations.

Singapore is a very modern, orderly, clean, family friendly city. Families can stay in

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excellent hotels for less than the cost of staying in a “so-so” hotel in New York City.

Weather wise, the best months to travel to Singapore are July and August. This coincides with summer vacation for school children in many parts of the world. Those looking for milder temperatures may want to consider traveling in October or November as well.

Singapore has many attractions for families interested in nature and art.

5 PLACES TO EXPLORE IN SINGAPORE ˏˏ

The Children’s Garden at the Botanic Gardens

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Raffles Hotel

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St. Andrews Cathedral

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National Museum of Singapore

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The “Sky Park” at the Marina Bay Sands Hotel

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Photo: Eva Wilson-Greene

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Singapore City: A view of Singapore City at night.

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Besakih Mother Temple: The most important, largest and holiest temple of the Hindu religion

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ali is an affordable gem for the traveling family, with so much to do and see. Margaret Kernich is a freelance stylist for photography and interiors in Australia. She finds Bali to be one of her favorite places to travel with her children. Margaret says, “Generally, Bali is great for families, and the Balinese love kids - you will find hotels at many different price ranges, but even at a modest budget range, there will usually be a nice pool area, which is a great start…”

Lovers of nature, culture, and food will find

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BALI

plenty of things to do in this affordable part of the world. “Bali is, generally speaking, a very inexpensive destination [and] there are so many great restaurants there, with many different cuisines, so it’s a great opportunity to treat your kids to French, Italian, Japanese, Greek, Spanish - you name it. They will expand their horizons so much...” As for where to stay, Margaret says, “The town of Ubud is the cultural, and some would say spiritual centre of Bali. This is a great place to stay with kids, as it is close to many attractions and day trip activities.”

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5 OF MARGARET’S “MUST SEE AND DO’S” IN BALI ˏˏ

Water Bom Park

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The Monkey Forest

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Tampaksiring Water Temple

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Besakih Mother Temple (children over 10)

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Volcano Cycling Tour

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The world is waiting.

Wherever in the world you wish to explore, we can help take you there. We’re bringing you more destinations to make the world feel smaller so you can dream bigger.

AmericanAirlines and the Flight Symbol logo are marks of American Airlines, Inc. oneworld is a mark of the oneworld Alliance, LLC. Š 2013 American Airlines, Inc. All rights reserved.

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f you are looking for a mix of kid-friendly fun and off the resort adventure, Turks and Caicos is definitely worth exploring. With its beautiful beaches, and abundant wildlife, there are many opportunities for learning for the whole family.

If this will be your first time attempting international travel with your children, you may want to consider staying at an all-inclusive resort, and experiencing the rest of the country through guided excursions. It also gives parents a much deserved break to enjoy their time away. “Among other things, my husband and I love the fact that when we go to Beaches we get to have a vacation as well, as our two boys enjoy the Kids Camp and all the activities that are available,” says Nicole Barrett, Jamaican mom, world traveler, and a

TURKS AND CAICOS

that ensures that we dine [on cuisine from around] the globe from some of the Caribbean’s best beaches.”

Off of the resort, families can visit the only conch farm in the world, watch and hear whales as they migrate (January through April), and explore the largest limestone caves in the Caribbean.

5 EXCURSIONS IN TURKS AND CAICOS FOR YOUR ADVENTUROUS TEEN ˏˏ

Kayak to Madison Point

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Middle Caicos Caves

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Discover Rock Iguanas at Little Water Cay

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Snorkeling to the 7,000 foot drop off

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ˏˏ “The Hole” at Long Bay

a sense of adventure, and an appreciation for cultural diversity in our children as early, and as often as possible. In our current economy, that may not be possible for everyone. If you can, consider visiting more exotic, family-friendly, and often affordable destinations with your children. Lead them down the road less traveled by.

Nurturing their innate spirit of exploration just might make “all the difference”.

TIPS FOR TRAVELING WITH CHILDREN Prepare them to document their adventure. Give your children journals to record their experiences on each part of their trip, from packing, to flying on the airplane, to choosing souvenirs to take home. Disposable cameras are still great options for small children who want a visual

Middle Caicos Caves: Lime stone caves formed by salt water on Middle Caicos Island

Regional Director of Sales for Unique Vacations Inc. “[This] gives us an opportunity to do something together as a couple, if we choose to. We also love the Discovery Dining experience

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In Robert Frost’s famous poem, The Road Not Taken, he says that taking the road less traveled by “has made all the difference.” As parents, it is important for us to instill

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record of their journey. They are not as much of a headache if they are lost or stolen during the trip as cell phones and digital cameras can be.

Apply for passports for

children well in advance of your travel date. If you haven’t gotten a passport for your child yet, begin the process 6 to 8 months before you plan to travel. If you need consent or documents from guardians who are not living near you, you will want to have plenty of time to get everything in order. For some countries, your passport must have been valid for several months before you travel. Check visa regulations several months in advance of purchasing your tickets.

Make a soundtrack of your destination. Instead of the popular music that your children may be used to having on their devices, load inexpensive mp3 players with music from the country to which you will be traveling.

Discuss musical traditions with them, and talk about what instruments are involved in creating the unfamiliar sounds they are hearing in the music.

Help them to answer the question, “are we there yet?” for themselves with inexpensive world maps. Purchase an inexpensive paper map of the world, and with colorful pens or fun stickers (i.e. hearts for home, stars for the final destination, and dots for stops along the route), have your children mark places they’ve been or where they are going.

Get a guide to the country that you will be visiting before you leave. “Essential to any trip to Bali is a guide book - Lonely Planet is probably best. It will give you a more detailed explanation of activities and attractions, as well as climate, when to go, and what to watch out for,” says Margaret Kernich.

You can purchase guide books online from Amazon.com or other online book sellers for most countries, or print out checklists from travel websites if books are not available.

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Seamless Summer Travel… .

with children

By Joseph Cornwall, New York, from Jamaica

Planning to travel with small kids for the summer? I suggest you do not do it. I work in the airline industry, so I know what I’m talking about. Day in, day out, I see Oscar-worthy performances by the tiniest little people, who traverse the skies in search of holiday fun. They kick and scream, whine and moan; and very often, it’s due to no fault of their own.

If you must travel, here are my fool-proof suggestions that will guarantee you a low-to-nostress trip. Feel free to tweak accordingly.

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F SURE BETS

irstly, select an airline that suits your needs. If you wish amenities such as snacks and free drinks, free in-flight entertainment, be sure to ask the airline if they provide these options. Some airlines offer Wifi, XM radio and even direct TV. Some are free, some are not; so be sure to ask the airline. Your children will be entertained without having to leave their seats, and you may get a chance to nap while they watch television. If you select an airline without entertainment please bring your own cards, DVD players and games especially for flights longer than 2 hours. Also bring your own snacks or stop in the terminal and grab something to eat. Remember most airlines do not offer a hot meal.

IF IT IS AT ALL POSSIBLE, PACK ‘LIGHT’. IF YOU CAN’T PACK LIGHTLY, PACK A BARREL, AND SHIP IT.

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KNOW YOUR AIRLINE’S BAGGAGE POLICIES

hroughout the Caribbean, locally based airlines tend to be the ones that offer two pieces of checked bags. Most US based carriers, will levy a fee for a second checked piece. Weight limitations are strictly enforced at check-in counters, so it would suit you well to use your home scale to ensure you are within the 50lb restriction prior to arriving at the airport. If it is at all possible, pack ‘light’. If you can’t pack lightly, pack a barrel, and ship it.

AVOID REDEYE/NIGHT HAWK FLIGHTS This messes with your child’s circadian rhythm. While it may be more economical to take the late night flight, your child will be miserable unless he or she is a night owl. If your child is a night owl, you may want to take a closer look at that pattern. Older children may fare better. I have seen too many babies, toddlers and young children looking uncomfortable, and under unnecessary ‘stress’ on these flights. The sight to behold is the parent who falls asleep while the child wanders around the plane. Beware, somebody will call child services. If you have flight options, choose wisely.

UNACCOMPANIED MINORS Most airlines are specialists in the transportation of young ones.

Remember to brief your children and the airline representative accordingly. Without scaring them, remind your child of the importance of listening to the agent and flight attendant. They should never exit the aircraft unless the flight attendant hands them

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over to the gate agent. Never, and I say never, ever accept packages from anyone to bring on or take off the aircraft. If the child or children have never traveled unaccompanied before, ensure that you document any allergies or illnesses with the airline. As the parent or guardian you are allowed a gate pass to accompany the child or children to the aircraft. Please remember do not leave the airport until the plane takes off. A rule of thumb dictates that the parent or guardian wait at the airport for an addition thirty minutes in the event that the plane returns to the gate for any reason. Finally, ensure that your child has the name and contact of the person who will meet them at the airport. Most airlines will allow a courtesy call to the person or persons meeting your unaccompanied child or children. Some airlines offer a tracking feature which details the time of arrival. Please use it.

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AVOID CONNECTIONS

here are real savings when one takes the connection option. Again, if your children are older then go for the savings, but remember that not all connections are seamless. Depending on the airport, terminal changes could mean exiting one terminal and going through security again.

And after clearing customs your liquids must be checked in if you are connecting. Take all possibilities into consideration. With weather or air traffic delays, your airline is not responsible for any misconnections. They will accommodate you and your children on the next available flight and that may take a few hours or a few days.

You are responsible for all hotels and meals. .

REST UP Get a good night’s sleep; you AND your child. The day may be hectic.

Check in, security, immigration, boarding, deplaning, immigration again and customs will always be stressful even for the seasoned traveler. A good night’s sleep will make it a little more tolerable.

DRESS COMFORTABLY Be sure to dress comfortably, but please no pajamas! Gone are the days of suit and ties, especially for children; but we need not turn this travel experience into a sleepover. It is not a good look. A T-shirt and a pair of jeans - and we are good to go. Again, please no pajamas.

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ON-BOARD PREPARATION

nsure your carry-on piece is well equipped to face the possibilities that can occur in-flight. Many airlines don’t have sufficient blankets or pillows.

Bring a sweater or jacket for your child, and you can consider purchasing a small neck pillow for added comfort. Chewing gum is always a great thing to have, to ward off the discomfort of blocked ears. Parents, if your child has a cold or sinus infection, please do not allow them to travel. This is pure torture for your child, and the cabin pressure can agitate or worsen the situation.

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CHECK IT OR TOSS IT

lease remember to check in your liquids. If you have young children who are old enough to pack their own bags, be sure to inspect their bags thoroughly. I have seen too many kids throw a tantrum because they refuse to part with their favourite body sprays or hair gels. Also please avoid the toy guns. You will have a problem at the security check point. TSA is not fond of guns - toy or not, and neither are customs officials in many Caribbean islands. They will be confiscated on your arrival in Jamaica and Barbados.

SEPARATION ANXIETY Ok, so you’ve checked in, and received your seat assignments. Lil Miss Sunshine is in 13A and Lil Man is seated in 8B while you, Mommy Dearest are all the way in 25C . Let the panicking begin.

While all airlines try to seat families together, it is not always possible. Some airlines allow you to select your own seat when booking your reservation but this does not mean the seat you selected will be available at check in. The earlier you arrive at the airport is the greater the probability of actually getting the seat that you chose.

While there is no way of guaranteeing that everyone is seated in the same row here are a few ways to minimize the probabilities of separation. Most airlines allow online check in 24 hours before departure so please set your alarm and check in 24 hours before departure. Although you have checked in 24 hours prior to departure you must also check in again at the counter to get the boarding passes. Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.

Call the airline and inquire what time the check in counter opens and get there at that time. I guarantee the whole generation will be seated beside each other if you are the first to check in. f this is not possible, please do not argue. Kindly ask the agent to assist in seating your family close to each other.

If this is still not possible, then during boarding ask the passengers who are occupying the seats beside your children or you to assist you by switching seats. Note that this may not work because they may be sitting beside the children and wish not to separate their family. If your child is younger than six then it’s highly likely that someone will assist you. Ask the flight attendant to assist if necessary. Regardless of your destination or your budget, the traveling experience is second to none. Remember it is what you make it. If you are stressed your child or children will become stressed. If there is motion sickness or you are a nervous flier, try not to instigate that fear in your child.

There is no shame is telling your Flight Attendant that you’re not entirely comfortable with flying – he or she will keep an eye on you.

You paid all this money to get on a plane so enjoy the experience and remember to pick up a gift for your loved ones who will meet you at the airport. There is nothing worse than greeting your family or relatives at the airport with a smile, a hug and your two long hands. L.O.L. Happy Flying! .

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Joe Cornwall is a seasoned flight attendant who has over 14 years experience in the industry. If he were not a Flight Attendant, he would be a stand-up comic.

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...where the living is easy

4 Hotel Street, Mandeville, Jamaica mandevillehoteljamaica.com 876 962 9764-5 fax: 876 962 0700 info@themandevillehotel.com

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Beep Beep Car Wash

By Aileen Burgess, Kingston, Jamaica

If you have toddlers or young children, chances are that from time to time, you also have food messes, juice spills and some not-sopleasant smells. Keeping your car organized and free of clutter can be challenging, but smear-free windows, clutter-free trunks and pristine car interiors don’t have to be a thing of the past.

Making your car a cleaner and more comfortable environment is easily achievable, and does more than just presenting a good look.

“A fresh, clean and healthy environment helps to reduce exposure to elements that can promote easily avoidable illnesses that can spread very easily in enclosed interiors where air is circulated for extended periods.” Ralston Walsh, Managing Director of Auto Vision Mobile Wash speaks on one of the many benefits to maintaining a clean car. “Added to this is the fact that you can find things easily”. Here are Ralston’s suggestions for maintaining a clean, well-cared-for car.

KEEP A STASH OF WIPES AND PAPER TOWELS. This is a must-have if you have children in your car, and a niceto-have even if you don’t have kids.

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PORTABLE HAND VACUUM This super-handy tool is a great helper when it comes to cleaning up all the ‘fun stuff’ that kids leave behind in your car, and is perfect for getting to those crumbs before they embed themselves and become a part

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of your car’s DNA. Be sure to charge and use your vacuum regularly.

OVER-THE-SEAT-ORGANIZERS. These are great for keeping things in order. The hang on

the back of the seat and have multiple sections for storing all the stuff that tends to become clutter in your car. The Caribbean heat can be brutal, so be sure not to leave anything ‘meltable’ in your organizer.

AIR FRESHENER A mini air-freshener spray kept right in your glove compartment is a great addition to your ‘clean car care kit’. Be sure not to spray when your children are in the car, however. Just wait till everyone’s out and give your interior a quick spritz.

Keep a small trash bag handy.

This one speaks for itself.

Use this to toss in all garbage, and make sure to discard the bag when you arrive at your destination.

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USE YOUR TRUNK Keep large bags such as backpacks, sports gear, umbrellas etc. , in the trunk. Groceries too, should be carried in the trunk.

KEEP FEET OFF THE SEAT Just as at home, encourage your children to keep their feet off the seat. If they insist on getting comfy, no problem, but remind them to remove their shoes before doing so.

GENIUS. (THERE. WE SAID IT.) SQUIRT Baby Food Dispensing Spoon

FUN CLEAN CAR TIP Make a date out of cleaning your car with your children.

They’ll be spending precious time with you, and there are few things more exciting to a toddler than getting all soapy and wet without being in the bathtub! Who knew getting your clean and teaching some responsibility could be this much fun!

AutoVision & Accessories is a professional mobile cleaning and restoration company that services automotive, aviation, household and aquatic industries. For convenient concierge service at home or work, call AutoVision Mobile Toll Free at 1-888-991-WASH (9274) or email ava1@ cwjamaica.com

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SEE IT booninc.com BUY IT Babeelicious & Taylor'd 4 Babies

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b3COMMUNITY

Journey To Bethlehem

By Zarna Drummond - Trinidad via Kingston, Jamaica • Photography: Dwayne Jureidini

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ethlehem. Say the word and I think of where Jesus was born, a lowly barn in a little village, humble, simple, no fancy crib, no frilly bedding, no rocking chair, a safe place, filled with an incredible love.

Bethlehem Home is in many ways just like this.

Tucked away in inner city Kingston it is humble and simple. There are no fancy cribs, no frilly bedding and sadly there are no rocking chairs either. Yet for the 65 children in Bethlehem Home, it is a safe place filled with incredible love.

A few months ago I was invited by Fr. Ambrose of Missionaries of the Poor to visit the children of Bethlehem Home. Riddled with 'Catholic guilt' and a deep rooted fear of the consequences of ignoring a priest, I went. I stopped at the Missionaries of the Poor compound on North Street, to pick up one of the Brothers to show me the way. I will confess that this was also a security tactic on my part.

With sweaty palms and a heart beating almost out of control I walked into Bethlehem Home. I got there just as the children were waking up and being cleaned.

I heard first the loud guttural sounds that the children make, then I smelled the dirty diapers, but it is what I saw that broke my heart. Severely deformed, crippled, and mentally challenged boys and girls of all ages. How could God allow this? And it was in that moment my life changed, forever. I heard a Brother singing while he mopped the floor, the soft voice of another speaking to the children with love, I smelled the lunch, prepared with loving hands, and the sweet soap as the Brothers tenderly bathed each child, and I saw the smiles on the

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Above Left: Zarna Drummond, spends quality time with some of the boys at the home.

Above: Despite any challenges, smiles abound at Bethlehem.

faces of these children, the unconditional love that is exchanged between these innocent children and the brothers. And, as I looked into their eyes, my broken heart was healed, and I saw Jesus.

There is a great joy in serving God; I dare you to try it. Come down to Bethlehem Home, feed a child, read a story, sing a song, the rewards are boundless, and there is no need for any escorts, other than your Guardian Angel of course. Please come, come and see Jesus.

Bethlehem Home was started in 2000 by the Missionaries of the Poor. Located on Highholbourn Road, Kingston, it survives solely on donations. If you would like to help please contact Brother Jimmy, Bethlehem Home, 922-7669 or Missionaries of the Poor at 948-0285.

Originally from Trinidad, Zarna has made Jamaica her home and is a passionate volunteer with Missionaries of the Poor. She is mother to 3 children aged 14,8 and 5, and mentor to countless others.

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