b3 Caribbean Magazine Issue 6

a Crib

from

Page 29

BUMP • BABY & BEYOND

Also

« Multiplicity « Sexy Redefined « Potty Training in 5 Easy Steps

.

Yohan Blake and his 'sons'

Glama Mama

Sedene Blake OCTOBER - DECEMBER 2013 • Vol.1 Issue 6

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Robinne A Mom Lee: in Love

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER 2013

54 AROBINNE LEE: Mom in Love COVER STORY

BUMP 16 ZUMBA MAMA ‘Wine’ Your Way Through a Fit Pregnancy

.

20 YOUR BABY’S GROWTH Island Style Sizing

22 COCONUT MOCKTAILS A Fresh Coconut Combination for Expectant Moms

24 ON SURVIVING: Gestational Diabetes

26 B3 MD OBGYN Dr. Thea Davis Answers Your Pregnancy-Related Questions

30 THE EXPECTANT FAMILY It's Not Just Mom Who is Having a Baby

BABY 34 GLAMA MAMA: International Model-turned-Mom Sedene Blake

40 EDITOR'S PICKS: FOR MOMMY 42 EDITOR'S PICKS: FOR BABY AND CHILD 44 LET’S GO POTTY! Five Potty Training Myth Busters

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ON THE COVER Cover : Robinne Lee & Eric Hayes Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot on Location: Discovery Bay, Jamaica Styling: Angelie Spencer Hair: Lisa Hutchinson Wardrobe: drennaLUNA (Robinne) and Shhh Boutique (Eric) Makeup: Loni Jones

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OCTOBER-DECEMBER 2013

30

92

108

102 GOOD MOVE Moving House With a Young Family

104 CO-PARENTING WHEN YOU’RE NO LONGER A COUPLE Helpful Tips On A Hard Topic

88

108 ART FROM THE HEART Developing Your Child’s Artistic Talents

112 B3 BOUTIQUE

66

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B3 Introduces Retail Therapy All In One Place

80

114 B3 COMMUNITY Yohan Blake’s YB Afraid Foundation

48 IN A NUTSHELL A Mother's Experience with Toddler Food Allergies

50 SEXY REDEFINED A Mother’s Personal Journey As She Finds Her ‘Sexy’ Again

BEYOND 64 B3 BOOKS "I Am Mixed" by Garcelle Beauvais and Sebastian Jones

66 SPRUCING UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS

76 ENJOY THE GOOD LIFE AT GOOD HOPE ESTATE Enjoy The Good Life With Chukka Adventures At Good Hope Estate

80 RAISING CARIBBEAN KIDS IN THE UAE One Mother’s Thoughts On Life Miles Away From Home

84 BLISSFUL PARENTING Our NEW Parenting Column with expert Elena Diedrick-Lynch

Make A Statement With These Simple Changes To Your Home

86 B3 EATS

70 MAKING MEAL TIME FAMILY TIME

88 HOLIDAY FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The Family That Eats Together, Stays Together

Safety Tips You May Never Have Considered

74 KIDS WILL BE KIDS…

92 MULTIPLICITY

The Family That Eats Together, Stays Together

Cute Kids, Cute Clothes x 2, 3 and 4!

O C TO B E R - D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 3

Holiday Smoked Ham With Sorrel Glaze

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44 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 | 09

Editor's NOTE

R

ecently, during our nightly bedtime reading, I paused to tell my 5-year-old daughter that I love her. She uttered a very sincere, but hasty, “I know Mommy”.

Fearing for a brief moment that my "I love you's" were becoming mundane, I asked her how she knew that I love her. “Because when I’m with you, I feel my heart smile.”

Right there, I fell in love (again) with such a pure love from a child who knows nothing but honesty and goodness.

There’s just something about true love that magically warms the heart. Many dream of finding love, without realizing that it’s already all around us.

We came face to face with LOVE this issue. Hollywood actress Robinne Lee glows as she shares with us the things she loves most in this world. Her interview on page 54 says it all.

They say it's love that makes the world go round, and we see that in the passion of parenting. Whether it’s igniting the eros love between man and woman, the painstaking storge love of a protective mother, or the agape love for unity that sees family life flourish, it’s all about love as the foundation on which we build ALL, and prepare our children for well-adjusted, successful futures.

This holiday season, let us fall in love again. With ourselves, our spouses, our children and all those who make our lives meaningful. Those 3 simple words have the power to break down barriers, and to build up strong foundations. Let’s use them more often.

From my family to yours, ONE LOVE! .

Editor-in-Chief

Michelle Gordon

Editor-in-Chief & Creative Director A lover of life and family, Michelle brings authenticity of all aspects of the parent-child bond to the page with diamondstudded style. With 28 years of combined experience in service, entrepreneurship and motherhood, she adds to that a passion that gave birth to b3. Michelle is mother to 9-year-old Christian and 5-year-old Amanda.

Angelie Spencer

Dwayne Jureidini

Fashion Editor

Art Director & Layout Artist

Angelie Martin-Spencer is the Fashion Editor of b3 Caribbean Magazine and Fashion Contributor to Triple The Focus Magazine.

She is also the Client and Marketing Manager for drennaLUNA, and Creative Director of SOL by drennaLUNA. Angelie is mother to 9-year-old Anna, and 3-year-old Luke.

Dwayne's love affair with design began as an assistant to his dad, himself, a graphic designer. Two decades later, armed with his Dad’s priceless tutelage & the constant desire for creating artwork of an international standard, the love affair continues. DJ's fingerprint can be seen on pieces ranging from invitations to recognised international publications. Dwayne is father to 5-year-old Sarai.

Dwayne Wat kins

Arlene L. Mart in

As a child, Dwayne Watkins remembers being amazed by a photographer's ability to capture things in a way that evoked incredible emotion. These days you can catch Dwayne around Jamaica and beyond, capturing couples as they say, "I do". Dwayne's portfolio also includes fashion and commercial work. Dwayne is godfather to 4-year-old Skyler. Visit dwaynewatkins.com/blog

Arlene L. Martin has had a passion for design and sewing since childhood. With skills that were self-taught when she actively took up the craft as a hobby in her late teens, she has since blossomed and turned the passion into something extraordinary - drennaLUNA. Arlene is aunt to 5 nieces and nephews.

Photography Director

.

Asst. Editor

Caricatures by: Photolamus www.photolamus.com

Send your comments, questions and suggestions to

editor@b3caribbeanmagazine.com

We Hear You! BLENDING BUSINESS

@iamtamichynn – You and your article in b3 mag are the sole reasons why I have gained perspective on this sometimes inevitable stepmom thing. It opened my eyes so much, and I’m forever grateful for you sharing it. I didn’t quite understand how to share that role. But when you said you couldn’t have done it without Gio’s mom, that really made me think and changed my whole outlook. So thanks for that!

- Charlene G, Jamaica

.

I went through years of turmoil with my boyfriend’s ex-wife, the mother of his 2 children. Though we are ok now, I think the words of advice that you offer in your interview with Tami would have served us well years ago. She (the children’s mother) was angry, and I re-acted to her anger with hostility. It took us way too long to realize how badly we were affecting the children. Thank God, the worst is behind us and we’re now getting along. It’s easy to fall into the drama traps and I hope every parent in a similar situation will learn from their example and always put the children first. Kudos to Tami and Regina.

- Dawn L, Jamaica

SINGLE PARENTING 101 I know that I’m not alone raising my girls as a single mother.

Your article not only made me laugh, but helped me to relax a bit. My friends think I’m setting myself up for trouble because my girls, 4 and 6, still sleep in my bed. I feel guilty some of the times, and other times I just can’t be bothered to force them to sleep in their own beds. But thank you. I’m not alone, and now I don’t feel so bad about it.

- Lisa T, Trinidad

MY BABY CAN’T READ I have to admit that I was one of those mothers who fell hook, line and sinker for the Your Baby Can Read scheme. It looked completely believable, and I ended up purchasing the entire set; all in the hopes that I would start my baby genius on the path to great success. I had not heard anyone speak so honestly about the product, but then again, I hadn’t asked. My son is now almost 5 years old, and he’s reading now. I have to admit that I was eager – trying to get him to read at 9 months. I hope that other parents take the time to allow their children to develop naturally, and not force their kids to achieve too much, too soon.

- Stacey W, U.S.V.I.

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.

Best.

Ensuring ThE VEry

Web: www.dwaynewatkins.com • Blog: www.dwaynewatkins.com/blog • Email: info@dwaynewatkins.com Twitter: @TeamDWP • Phone: (954) 247-4397 (US) or (876) 286-3198 (JA)

Boy O Boy Limited PUBLISHER Michelle Gordon EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & CREATIVE DIRECTOR Dwayne Jureidini ART DIRECTOR & LAYOUT ARTIST Dwayne Watkins PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR Arlene L. Martin ASSISTANT EDITOR Angelie Spencer FASHION EDITOR & STYLIST Joni Wedderburn ASSISTANT RESEARCH EDITOR

.

Norma Williams CREATIVE CONSULTANT

• Contributing Writers Aiesha Panton, Asia Phillips, Barak Goren, Georgia Rose M.D., Lisa Banton M.D., Thea Davis M.D., Elena Diedrick-Lynch, Gayle Cunningham, Joni Wedderburn, Kai Watson, Marsha Hilton, Michelle Gordon, Natalie Graham, Natalie Waugh, Natasha White- Rampersad, Nicole Weaver

Special thanks to Karen Gandreti and Orlando Robinson The Hope Zoo, Kingston, Jamaica Claudene Lofters Cradle to Footsteps www.cradletofootsteps.com Ellen Uzarowicz Right Bank Babies www.righbankbabies.com Mary Bauer Bratt Décor www.brattdecor.com

Timothy Spencer YB Foundation www.ybafraid.com Ms. Sonia Lowe Mt Olivet Boys Home Echo Ross Chukka Adventures www.chukkacaribbean.com Durren McClean Shhh Boutique 31 Waterloo Road (8) (876) 906-1684

Advertising Sales Messado Media Ltd. messadomedia@gmail.com

Printed in Jamaica by Pear Tree Press Ltd. Telephone: (876) 926-5859 Copyright © 2013 Boy O Boy Limited. All rights reserved.

This material may not be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the express prior written permission of Boy O Boy Ltd. For permission, please contact myboyoboy@gmail.com

Web: www.dwaynewatkins.com Blog: www.dwaynewatkins.com/blog Email: info@dwaynewatkins.com Twitter: @TeamDWP Phone: (954) 247-4397 (US) or (876) 286-3198 (JA)

b3FIT

Zumba Mama .

Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot on Location: Chai Studios, Kingston, Jamaica Makeup: Paul March

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S

o several years after having my 2 children, I decided to drag myself back to the gym. I think I tried no less than 5 different gyms, with a variety of programs all designed to get me back into shape. There was aerobics, spinning, weight training, elliptical etc…, all producing the same result – complete and utter boredom! I didn’t last more than 2 weeks in any one of those facilities. It just wasn’t for me. But then I met Zumba – an exciting, and extremely sexy combination of salsa, dancehall and hip hop. Now, I’m no dancer, but I love music, and that’s what won me over. The music.

So my two left feet marched into my first Zumba class at Chai Studios. I could feel the beat of the music deep down in my bones.

This was going to be it for me. I was about to break the monotony of regular exercise. I was stopped in my tracks however. Imagine my surprise to see the instructor, with her 8 month pregnant belly protruding in front of her, ‘wine-ing’ down to the ground, dropping it like it’s hot, and then showing off with a little ‘six thirty’ and such. I was in awe, and just had to learn more about what I was seeing. .

ENTER:

FRANCISCA GRIFFITHS Eight months into her first pregnancy, Franci is raising the ‘fitness bar’ for momsto-be all around. “There is no better time to be active,” offers Franci, but she warns women to know their boundaries and to operate within them. “If you’ve never exercised a day in your life, now is not the time to jump up and start an intensive program.” For those women, Franci recommends taking it easy – Zumba 101 is perfect. It’s dancing fun, where you get to learn the latest moves, while including aerobic activity. “We ‘wine’ a lot in Zumba!

And that wine-ing helps to open up the pelvis, which prepares the canal for birth.

It also helps post-delivery with tightening the kegel muscles, strengthening the vaginal wall muscles, and helping the organs to shift back into place. Most importantly, it helps you regain your confidence and sensuality.”

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A

ccording to Dr. Kareema Matthews-Daley, MBBS, DM, OBGYN, exercising while pregnant provides more benefits than just staying fit. "There is so much evidence that women who exercise regularly, both before and during pregnancy, have lower risk of pregnancy related complications such as Gestational Diabetes and Pregnancy-Induced Hypertension. Exercising mommies often have higher energy levels, less back aches, sleep better and also endure labour better," says Dr. Matthews-Daley. Before you start an exercise programme you must consult your Obstetrician as certain exercises (such as contact sports) are NOT recommended in pregnancy OR may not be recommended if you have some pregnancy related complications or pre-existing medical illness, such as bleeding in pregnancy or heart disease respectively. The increased circulation of pregnancy hormones which relaxes ligaments and joints coupled with the change in your body (growing belly) puts you at increased risk for falling or muscle injury. Zumba can be high or low impact, check with your Zumba instructor who should be able to show you modified moves more suitable for your pregnant body. You must also be aware of the signs of overexertion and stop exercising immediately and consult your OBGYN. Walking or swimming are low intensity, and are just as good for you and your baby during pregnancy.

If your doctor advises you against an activity as strenuous as Zumba, take heed.

Zumbini!

With your doc's approval, get going with your healthy, active post-baby lifestyle . It's fun for baby, great exercise for you, and a wonderful way to get back to you!

.

Franci’s Top 5 Tips For A Successful Zumba Programme During Pregnancy: 1.

If you haven't exercised for a while, or ever before for that matter, start slowly and build up. It’s Zumba! So even if you can’t manage all the steps and moves, just keep rocking to the beat.

2.

If you had been exercising prior to your pregnancy, you should be able to do it at the same level while you're pregnant — as long as you're feeling comfortable and your doctor says it's OK.

3.

Drink lots of water.

4.

Listen to your body. If you don’t feel well, stop. Take a break or simply sit the class out.

5.

Don’t worry about your bump. Just relax and enjoy!

Francisca Griffiths is a dancer and Zumba instructor at Chai Studios in Kingston, Jamaica. She is due to give birth to her first child in November 2013.

Under the guidance of a trained instructor, zumba is safe for pregnant women to practice. However, every pregnant woman must check with her doctor before commencing this or any other exercise routine.

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“MY BABY GIRL IS GOING TO COME OUT DANCING, I JUST KNOW IT!!!”

– Franci

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BUMP

Your Baby’s Growth Island Style Sizing .

Growth is synonymous with pregnancy – growth in size, and growth in appetite. They say the more you grow, the more you know, right?

Well check this out - Take a look at your baby’s growth from conception to birth, and whet your appetite for some tasty Caribbean foods - you may just learn a thing or two about fruits from neighbouring islands. We’ve got a lot in common. Who knew!

37-40 WEEKS WATERMELON – Your baby is now full term, and you’re ready to give birth any day now. Eat well, and safe delivery!

21-24 WEEKS PAW PAW (Jamaica) aka Papaya in Belize – You’ve passed half-way through your pregnancy, and your baby is beginning to look more like a baby at this point.

First Trimester 0-4 WEEKS GUINEP (Jamaica) aka Chennette in Trinidad and Tobago, Ackee in Barbados, Skinup in Grenada, Limoncill in Dominican Republic – Your baby is still very tiny, and you’re not yet showing at all. You have not yet started to gain weight, but your baby is growing and developing, so be sure to tank up on nutritious foods only.

5-8 WEEKS CASHEW (Guyana) aka Pajuil in Puerto Rico, Cajuil in Dominican Republic - Although your uterus is growing, you’re still not showing – especially if this is your first pregnancy.

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29-32 WEEKS BREADFRUIT

33-36 WEEKS: JACKFRUIT

(Cayman Islands) aka Bois Pain in St. Lucia, Lame Veritable in Haiti – You’re experiencing rapid growth now, as your baby continues to double his weight, and fill out his surroundings very well.

– Your baby is in the six-pound region now, and you’re big. You’re probably ready to pop now, as baby is quickly running out of space.

.

Third Trimester 25-28 WEEKS SOURSOP (Antigua & Barbuda) aka Guanabana in Cuba, Corossol in Haiti – Your baby has doubled his weight, and is now more than 2 pounds.

17-20 WEEKS MANGO (All Islands) - Your baby is not yet a full pound, but you on the other hand, may have already gained a few of those.

9-12 WEEKS GOLDEN APPLE (Guyana)

Second Trimester 13-16 WEEKS SAPODILLA (Guyana) aka Nesberry in Jamaica, Dilly in The Bahamas – If you do an ultrasound now, you may well be able to see if you’re carrying a boy or girl. You will steal many a moment in front of your mirror exaggerating your growing tummy, which is now big enough to start feeling slightly uncomfortable in your regular clothes.

aka June Plum in Jamaica, Pomme Cythere in Dominica – Although your baby has grown a lot in these past weeks, your little one is still not ready to show the world that he or she is on the inside. So as they say in Jamaica, ‘yu belly still flat like a willy penny!’

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BUMP

Coconut Mocktails

We are combining coconut and cardamom. Few will dispute the benefits of coconut water.

It’s low in calories, and rich in potassium, dietary fibre, and vitamin C. On the contrary, few know the benefits of Cardamom, a spice commonly used in Ayurvedic medicine, and chockfull of benefits. Put the two together, and you get a powerful combination of health-infused refreshment! Here’s a super easy recipe for our Moms (and Dadsto-be).

ABCD OF CARDAMOM A - Aphrodisiac – Cardamom is a powerful aphrodisiac that can help with erectile dysfunction and impotence.

B - Blood Pressure – As a diuretic and fiber rich spice, cardamom significantly lowers blood pressure.

.

C - Cold and Flu – This pungent spice may help prevent and relieve cold and flu symptoms. It’s also used for bronchitis and coughs.

D - Digestion Cardamom is related to ginger and is great for nausea, acidity, gas and heartburn.

INGREDIENTS ed (g ˏˏ 1 Soft-flesh

reen) coconut

oons ˏˏ 2 - 3 Tablesp

of honey

amom ˏˏ ½ Tsp Ca rd

powder

METHOD Dra in the water

1.

t in a la rge glas from the coconu

s

oop out the t in two and sc Chop the coconu white flesh er, the coconut wat e coconut flesh, th ne bi m Co 3. y in the er, and the hone ca rdamom powd

2.

blender.

4.

5.

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th Blend until smoo

then ga rnish w

ed or on ice and Serve eit her ch ill

ith lime.

ENJOY!

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On Surviving:

Gestational Diabetes

I

By Natalie Graham, Jamaica

remember the day I came out of the closet. Well, to be fair it was less of a closet and more of a pantry, like where they keep all the cakes, cookies and buckets of sugar; it was a good day to come out. As a Diabetic. Admitting to having diabetes came at the end of a long, painful process filled with denial, guilt, shame, and a big ol’ dollop of crippling selfpity. Who could blame me? Look around: all over the Internet, on TV, even in everyday conversation, diabetes has become a walking punch line. Oh, you're going to have that whole meal? What's for dessert? Diabetes?

Insert huge laugh here. Just like with funny You Tube videos, it's only hilarious until it happens to you. Then you stop laughing.

I gave birth to my beautiful first child in 2010. To my joy, I quickly shed ALL the baby weight; to my horror, I quickly packed it ALL back on, plus tax. Like all new first-time moms, the only things I was eating were tears of exhaustion and dreams of long showers, so where was this weight-gain coming from?

That question propelled me through the offices of several doctors, each trying to figure it out, but no one could give me a definitive diagnosis. In the meantime, my weight kept going up, and my self-esteem kept going down, and not even the intense, combined efforts of my personal trainer and my nutritionist stripped even a single pound from my ballooning post-baby body.

One day my doctor uttered two life-changing little words: brain tumor. Then she said two more: potential diabetes. I'm ashamed to confess that in that instant, I was almost hoping it would be a tumor.

It wasn't.

It turned out that I had developed gestational diabetes, which had escaped detection during my pregnancy, and had become one of the 10% of mamas who simply... keep it. Knowing that pregnancy can trigger gestational diabetes regardless of weight or lifestyle choices did not help much. In my mind, .

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diabetes was chocolate covered, deep fat fried shame, to be hidden so that I couldn't be judged. Enter Self Pity and my new secret life. I learnt how to stealth-test and stealth-medicate, and slowly withdrew from friends, activities... everything. I'm not proud of the level of self-pity I achieved but gradually, I let it go. I stopped dwelling on whether I 'gave myself' diabetes and began concentrating on what I wanted my new life to look like. My relationship with food changed. I measured food carefully, and my portion appreciation adjusted accordingly. I fought harder to choose meals wisely and I worked out- nothing manic, mind you, but enough to keep my blood pumping. And every time I stepped on a scale, I had lost weight. Everyday, I felt better. Stronger.

My whole world has been recalibrated- and for the better. And while my diagnosis slipped detection with my first pregnancy, knowing I had diabetes made expanding our family something we had to very carefully consider. So with careful monitoring, strict diet management and solid medical support, we recently welcomed a healthy second son. And now I'm my favourite version of me, for myself, for my husband and for our children. I'm stronger, healthier and wiser... and I'm here for the long haul.

I love that my husband gets a healthy wife, and our sons get a mom who is strong, confident and capable of keeping up with them in the garden and sandbox for years to come.

I want them to eat greens, enjoy dessert and fearlessly but wisely embrace all that's ahead, like I do. I want them to know that just as life will never stop bringing challenges, their ability to overcome will never stop surprising them.

The thing I have learned most from this journey, is that at every moment, life asks us to choose who we are going to be in light of what we are facing. It dares us to remember that our obstacles are not our definitions.

So hurdle already.

Call her Creative Director, blogger, wife and mom. Natalie just needs to write. Follow her at: napalilli.wordpress.com or twitter.com/napalilli

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MY WHOLE WORLD HAS BEEN RECALIBRATEDAND FOR THE BETTER... I'M STRONGER, HEALTHIER AND WISER... AND I'M HERE FOR THE LONG HAUL.

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BUMP

by Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis

MBBS, DM (OB-GYN), Jamaica

Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis is our Consultant Obstetrician and Gynecologist who answers your questions and addresses your concerns on medical matters pertaining to bumps, babies and beyond.

Dr. Davis is mother to 3 yr old Imani.

She is an avid reader who, like all our contributing writers, has a passion for children and parenting. Dr. Davis lives in Mandeville, and practices in both Kingston and Mandeville, Jamaica.

Send your questions to info@b3caribbeanmagazine.com

I’m 42, and trying to get pregnant.

Is it a guarantee that I’ll have to do an amniocentesis? .

Amniocentesis is a procedure done to withdraw amniotic fluid (the fluid which surrounds your baby) from the uterus under ultrasound guidance. It is commonly done any time after 14 weeks of pregnancy to evaluate your baby’s health since this fluid is largely composed of fetal substances such as urine, secretions and cells. The most common reasons for obtaining amniotic fluid is to establish if your unborn child has a genetic problem, such as Down’s syndrome and assessment of lung maturity to determine if your baby can breathe on its own if it is born before the expected due date.

At your age your doctor will most likely offer you this procedure. The reason is the routine blood screening tests done for chromosomal abnormalities the most common being Down’s syndrome are not diagnostic. A screening test is a test that can tell you if it is likely that your baby has a genetic abnormality. They do not tell you for sure if your baby isn’t ok. The older we get the more likely we are of having an affected baby with a chromosomal abnormality and hence our screening test most likely will reveal a positive result, especially at your age. Therefore as Obstetricians we often opt for skipping the screening stage and offer patients your age a test that will give us a definitive diagnosis (amniocentesis) early so any intervention can be taken in a timely manner.

Please be reminded that both screening

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and diagnostic tests for Down’s syndrome and other genetic abnormalities are voluntary, meaning that it is your choice whether to have or not have these tests therefore please discuss in detail your options with your doctor and determine what is right for you.

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I’m 5 weeks pregnant, and recently started feeling pain in my lower tummy area. My Doctor says it’s Round Ligament Pain, but I really don’t understand exactly what that means Round ligament pain is a sharp nagging pain felt in the lower belly or groin area on one or both sides. Its function is to keep the uterus in position within the pelvis especially during pregnancy as it grows. As your baby and uterus grow, the round ligament stretches leading to

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Use only as directed. *Among OTC mouthwashes ŠMcNEIL-PPC, Inc. 2013

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BUMP this discomfort. It is one of the most common complaints during pregnancy and is considered a normal part of pregnancy; however it is most often felt during the second trimester (after 13 weeks of pregnancy). Therefore your lower abdominal discomfort at 5 weeks pregnant when the uterus is within its normal size limits is unlikely to be the cause of your pain.

Unfortunately in the first trimester of pregnancy the most feared pregnancy related causes of lower abdominal pain include an ongoing miscarriage or an extra-uterine pregnancy otherwise called an ectopic pregnancy. This is a pregnancy where the fetus has implanted outside of the womb most commonly within the fallopian tube. This can lead to loss of the tube and hence ability to conceive in the future and serious health issues for you if this should rupture as the tubes are not able to accommodate a growing fetus. The diagnosis of an extra-uterine pregnancy can easily be made by the use of an ultrasound, therefore if you have not yet had one I recommend that you do so as soon as possible. Please consult with your doctor immediately if this pain persists, worsens or is accompanied by any vaginal bleeding. .

is due to the fact that in the hands there is limited space for fluid to accumulate therefore, eventually the presence of too much fluid surrounding the nerves causes compression of these nerves leading to symptoms.

Presently your only symptom is numbness therefore if you use your hands for most of the day take frequent breaks and exercise your hands. Try not to sleep on your hands and use a pillow to prop up your arms at night. Calcium supplements and keeping hydrated may also be helpful.

Please consult with your obstetrician if this numbness progresses to “pins and needles” or is accompanied by pain in the hands or wrist, if you find difficulty gripping objects or if lifting objects aggravate your symptoms.

I gave birth to my daughter 7 months ago. Everything is great except that I can’t seem to control when I need to pee. It always starts to trickle before I get to the toilet, and it never ends! Every time I think I’m finished, there’s still more to come. What’s my problem and how can I fix it?

HOW TO DO THESE?

What you are experiencing is referred to as

I’m almost 7 months pregnant.

When I wake from sleeping at nights, my hands are numb for a few minutes. This doesn’t happen when I take short naps during the day though. Could this be serious?

Numbness in the hands is a common symptom that occurs in the latter half of pregnancy. This is as a result of fluid retention. These symptoms occur mostly at night because the fluids that accumulate in the lower part of your body during the day are redistributed elsewhere, including your hands, when you lie down. When retained in the hands this fluid can cause compression of certain vulnerable structures such as the median nerve resulting in numbness.

This numbness can however progress to more worrying symptoms such as “pinsand-needles", a tingling sensation, or aches and pain in the hands and wrists resulting in carpel tunnel syndrome. These symptoms are more common in patients that use their hands a lot during the day like working on a computer. This progression

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urinary incontinence most likely a mixture of both urge and stress incontinence. These symptoms usually begin during pregnancy or after and can persist up to six months post delivery or even longer. Those who give birth vaginally are more likely to have this problem than women who deliver by caesarean section.

During pregnancy urinary incontinence is thought to be as a result of uterine pressure on the bladder or due to the effect of pregnancy hormones on the pelvic floor muscles which help to support your urethra preventing involuntary leakage of urine. The bladder, pelvic floor muscles and urethra inevitably experience some trauma during labour and delivery leading to persistence of symptoms post delivery.

I suggest that you see your Obstetrician and Gynaecologist as your symptoms have lasted too long post delivery without any intervention. Your doctor will most likely recommend that you do regular Kegel exercises. Doing Kegel’s frequently will strengthen your pelvic floor muscles giving you better control of passing your urine.

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Place a finger inside your vagina and squeeze the muscles around your finger Or Pretend that you are sitting on an object and have to pick up this object using your vagina by squeezing your pelvic muscles.

Perform these exercises 3 times a day, on 3 or 4 days a week. Each time, flex your muscles 8 to 12 times, and hold them tight for 6 to 8 seconds each time you tighten. Keep up this routine for at least 3 to 4 months. Please note that patience and discipline is essential for a symptom free life. Rarely Physiotherapy, medications and or surgery may be needed to alleviate symptoms.

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THE EXPECTANT FAMILY

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It's Not Just Mom Who is Having a Baby

By Asia Powell, Jamaica & Barak Goren, Panama

It’s no secret that pregnancy changes things.

Whether it’s a first, third or fifth pregnancy, welcoming a new baby changes the dynamics of life in the home. There’s going to be a new person to feed, to care for and to love. And while Mom is busy preparing for Junior’s arrival, so too are Junior’s soon-to-be siblings. Meet Asia and Barak, two 15-year-olds who share their perspectives on their expectant families.

BEFORE BABY - with Asia

To watch someone grow in the process of pregnancy is such a wondrous experience. Pregnancy magically brings new, innocent life into the world, and I have fortunately been blessed with the opportunity to have seen and grown with my mom while she was pregnant on two occasions.

My mom has given birth to two beautiful babies, a boy and a girl,

within the short time span of three years. I know this has made us closer as mother and daughter.

When John was born, I always tried extremely hard to help out around the house, which mommy took as a sign of maturity. As time passed by, I was granted more privileges as she began to realize I was becoming responsible enough to take on certain tasks on my own. Before Emma was born, Mommy and I would go shopping for clothes, toys and even room furniture. It was an amazing bonding time as it was great to be able to do our favorite past time activity together! Now that Emma is five months old we are the three princesses in the house and already have our own mini vacations or even simply a day out by ourselves.

I remember when I had no idea that my mother was pregnant. She

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BUMP was afraid to let me know, because she thought I would be jealous or feel as if I wasn’t going to receive enough attention anymore. I completely hate that for the slightest second she ever thought I wouldn’t be happy for her. “C’mon Mom, I’m way too old to be getting jealous over dolls.” (LOL) During her pregnancy, the hardest thing to cope with was the mood swings that would be thrown at me left, right and centre on a daily basis. Of course I had to be a trooper, understand and compromise with her feelings as much as I could. It was essential to always keep in mind what she was going through and to keep her happy. .

When my baby brother was born I had no idea what to expect and I was overwhelmed with the thought of a new addition to the family. I was happy for a baby brother, but I was completely unsure of how things would work out. When my baby sister arrived, I was definitely enthused to have a new, little princess in the family that I could spoil. I had gotten to practise on my brother so I was almost a pro now.

My bond with my little siblings is unbreakable at this point as they mean more than the world to me.

Sacrifices had to be made when both of my little siblings came along.

Some were harder to adjust to than others, but it’s completely worth it as now, they’re both the loves of my

life. My little brother and sister are sometimes the only two people that can make me smile when I’m having a bad day, and have the power to instantly brighten it when nobody else can.

John and Emma may take up a great deal of my mom’s time daily, but my mommy is like superwoman so there is still always time for me!

We have girly dates where we go do our hair and nails then go for lunch.

Sometimes we take vacations by ourselves to the country, or even abroad to ensure that we have our time to catch up. The kind of relationship that my mom and I share is very unique to describe, it’s almost as if we’re sisters!

-Asia

"WHEN MY BABY BROTHER WAS BORN I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT AND I WAS OVERWHELMEND WITH THE THOUGHT OF A NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY." AFTER BABY – with Barak

I was away when my brother Ilan was born, so I wasn't able to spend the first few weeks with him. When I finally got to meet him, it was an awkward but cool feeling. I had always wanted a baby brother. I’m a twin, plus I have 2 older brothers, so finally, I was going to be the supercool big brother.

We’re a modern-day ‘Bradybunch’ family. My parents divorced when I was 3, and my dad and stepmom got together when I was 11. So after many years of having our dad to ourselves, things were a little weird at first. But Aunty Romi is a great lady, who made every effort to make us feel comfortable. We talk about everything. She’s a friend and a ‘mother’, and her constant updates after each doctor’s visit made me feel very involved in Ilan’s birthing process. I’ve learned a lot about love. Selfless love. Through the relationship they share, my mother and step-mother have both taught me that love really doesn’t

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have limits.

I had to learn to share my space.

I remember when Ilan was sleeping (which was almost every hour of the day),our step-mom would patrol saying "Shh, Ilan is sleeping, Shh, Ilan is sleeping, Shh, Shh!" It even got to the point where she wrote a note in the downstairs bathroom saying "Don't use this bathroom, Ilan is sleeping." I, on the other hand, would sometimes get woken up due to the famous noise a baby makes... Crying!! But there was never a "Shh, Barak is sleeping" lol.

Special moments came. When Ilan was about 4 months old, my father would come home from work and bring a whole jackfruit. After

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it was pegged, my dad would hold the jackfruit on his fingers and my brother would suck on the jackfruit.

I remember the face he made; it was priceless. I couldn't believe how big he was getting in such a short amount of time. Ilan took his first steps on his six ‘monthaversary’. It was very special to me because I was the only one who got to see him reach this milestone.

I‘ve become a lot more cautious of my actions, and very protective of my baby brother. I think I’ve learned to be responsible, certainly a lot sooner than my parents expected.

Lol. Ilan is 3 years old now, and despite my baby brother being a little annoying at times, I love him very much. I can't wait for him to get older so that we can have actual conversations, and maybe for him to see this article.

-Barak Both Asia and Barak were 12 years old when their siblings were born.

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Your natural instinct is to love and protect him.

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KLIM速速. Your love. Their future .

BABY

At 23, Sedene Blake has walked many prestigious runways and graced the pages of numerous global glossies. She has an enviable portfolio, and now adds to her CV the job of Mama. We’re thrilled to be her magazine of choice as she ventures in front of the camera for the first time since giving birth. With her 6 month-old clone Miranda in tow, she shines as this issue’s...

Glama Mama .

Sedene Blake

Photography: Dwayne Watkins • Makeup & Styling: Angelie Spencer • Wardrobe: DrennaLUNA & Babeelicious

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What’s the secret to your flawless skin?

Palmer's cocoa butter is my saving grace! I use it from head to toe.

Your daughter is just 6 months old, and you look incredible! How did you get your body back so quickly?

The truth is I am naturally skinny. I TRIED eating right while pregnant, and I breastfeed. That’s a guaranteed way to shed weight. And when Miranda was about 3 months old, I started working out every day.

Has your style changed since becoming a mother?

It’s a bit of both, I would say my style has and hasn’t changed....I think it has because I used to love wearing my short shorts (it’s a model thing...showing legs) but now I have parked them, and It hasn't because I still love to be casual, sexy and comfy.

What will you say to your daughter if she decides to become a model?

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I honestly don't think it would shock me if she decides to be one because she's already posing in her crib to take pictures hahahaha. What would I say? I wouldn't say no to her, but ‘let's confirm with your dad first’, lol.

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What is your favourite thing to do with Miranda?

That’s a toss-up between bath time and feeding time. All that splashing and that messy face when she's eating...I love it. We talk a lot during those times…Miranda is a talker. I can’t wait to hear her words!

You’ve graced the pages of Russian and Italian Vogue, W Magazine and Teen Vogue just to name a few. How do you feel when you look at your accomplishments?

It’s a great feeling. I get very excited, and I’m happy to see how successful I have been. Modeling is very hard, and extremely competitive, but it’s also very rewarding.

It requires discipline and drive, and I have both. So I feel proud when I see my work.

Your work takes you to all corners of the globe. How will you balance your career as a model with being a mom?

I haven't figured that out yet but I'm not too worried because I have a very supportive circle of family and friends.

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What has been your most of interesting/ challenging photo shoot?

My photo shoots are always interesting because I do something new for each one. I get excited about trying new clothes, shoes, jewellery and getting a new hairdo-- which girl wouldn't! I look forward to them and don't find them challenging at all.

Sedene can't leave home without: ˏˏ

Wipes

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Hand Sanitizer

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Food/Water

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Last but not least THE BABY (laugh out loud)… can't do without my baby

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BABY

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Editor's Picks! for Mummy

The Caribbean has got some of the most stylish moms on the planet. So with baby sound asleep (if only for a few hours), there’s no better time to steal away for a quickie; a quick date that is. Call it a spark-starter if you will. With the holidays right around the corner, our Mummy Must-Have List will keep any mother (new or not), hot-to-trot. She’ll no doubt be on Daddy’s Nice List, and the naughty part? Well, we’ll leave that up to them.

RiRi Hearts MAC Collection MAC makes Moms Beautiful!

We’re loving the classically gorgeous shades from Bajan Pop sensation RiRi, who premieres her perfect palette of lavish colours for the new season. Creamy nudes, deep raisins and vivid reds for the lips, while eyes in soft and smoky cocoas create incredible looks for the hot mom on the town!

Belly Bandit Are you a new mother? Well, we’ve picked this one just for you! The Organic Belly Bandit by Rosie Pope is every new mom’s best friend designed to ‘bring you back to you’! It’s a post-delivery dream that applies constant medical-grade pressure, which can result in body shaping and muscle memory. See your way back to a flatter belly, slimmer waistline, stronger muscles and a confident attitude. No joke Mums. Tried and proven. By me, and countless others. www.bellybandit.com

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Baby Bands Simple is the new sexy.

And what a sweet way to commemorate your baby’s arrival! Available in 14K, 18K and Platinum. Set with pink or blue sapphires or your choice of birthstone.

Babybands are available in a brushed or high polished finish. Babybands® are custom ordered to your exact finger size, and you can stack for each child.

Breathe Tranquil Bubble Bath Moments for yourself may be few and far between. But take the time to Breathe, and I guarantee you’ll find more time or ’me time’. Indulge in a bath time retreat with Breathe Tranquil Bubble Bath - a breath of fresh air with citrusy hints of grapefruit and orange.

It’s no wonder this was on The "O" List as Oprah’s All Time Favorite Things for 2011.

Available in Kingston, Jamaica at Foot Candy

www.babybands.net

www.lolilla.com

Essie Red If you’re a normal hot-blooded woman, you can probably attest to the amazing lift that a simple mani and pedi can do for your mood! Now, pair that manicure with two coats of Vibrant Crimson

by Essie, and you’ll be ready to paint the town, you guessed it – RED! C’mon Mom! It’s the holidays – get your glam on! www.essie.com

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BABY Sticky Bellies I love Sticky Bellies stickers, not just because they’re cute, but they’re completely functional. They make documenting your child’s monthly growth so simple. Keep your family and friends in the loop as your baby grows with these great ‘time-stamped’ stickers. And for mother-to-be; you can tell your friends just how far along you are – also helps to remind yourself later on when mommy brain kicks in! (Mommy stickers sold in sets of 12 to track your pregnancy) stickybellies.com

Editor's Picks! for Baby & Child .

Finding stuff for babies and kids is as easy as 1-2-3. But finding stuff that’s well-made, practical, affordable and cute can be a little more challenging. So we’ve done our homework, and found these great items!

Surface Inspired Transform your nursery into one that is modern and sophisticated with one simple step. Add a Surface Inspired custom-made decal. Talk about instant transformation! All wall decals are made just for you which means you can have yours made in any colour you want. surfaceinspired.com

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Livie & Luca Shoes It’s cuteness overload with Livie & Luca shoes. They have tons of gorgeous designs that are 100% leadfree leather, and as a bonus to your L & L purchase, you can return your gentlyworn Livie & Luca shoes for donation to a non-profit that coordinates the distribution of shoes for families in need.

Love that - cute, and responsible!

Available in the Caribbean at cradletofootsteps.com

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livieandluca.com

, Don t Walk, Just Click!

Knockabout JA Knockabout JA is a child-like inspired collection of "funwear” featuring hand-sewn applique designs.

They’re cute and creative and make for a unique, self expressive line of t-shirts, tank tops, rompers and dresses. Knockabout in style! Proudly made in Jamaica, and available locally at fine hotels and resorts islandwide.

w w w.cradletofootsteps.com Phone: 1.876.919.8896 Email: info@cradletofootsteps.com

facebook.com/knockabout.ja

Sizes 3 Months - 12 Years Gift Cards & Registry Available

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BABY

LET’S GO POTTY!

Five Potty Training Myth Busters

Whether you’re just starting potty training or you’re in the full swing of it, one thing is likely: Somebody has spread rumours to you.

Call them potty training myths. These assertions of how potty training is supposed to go can make you wonder if your potty training plan has a few glitches.

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MYTH #1: YOU SHOULD START POTTY TRAINING WHEN YOUR CHILD TURNS TWO (OR SOONER, OR LATER.) The truth is, every child potty trains differently. Potty training goes more smoothly when your child shows these signs of readiness: • Stays dry for two hours and/or through naps.

• Asks to be changed and doesn’t like to be in soiled diapers.

• Shows interest in the potty.

• Is able to sit for two to five minutes.

• Can pull pants up and down.

• Has words for pee and poop.

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BABY MYTH #2: GIRLS ARE EASIER TO POTTY TRAIN THAN BOYS. Kids handle potty training better when instructions are visually modeled for them. Mothers tend to be more involved in potty training than fathers are, so it stands to reason that makes it easier for girls to potty train.

The answer? Dads should be involved in potty training their sons.

MYTH #3: KIDS WHO REFUSE TO POTTY TRAIN SHOULD BE REPRIMANDED. It’s tempting to treat defiance or refusal with reprimand, but that usually backfires when it comes to potty training. Ultimately, your child is in charge of his or her own body; you can’t force your child to potty train. Punishment often leads to more defiance. Your child could start to withhold urine and/or stool, which can lead to urinary tract infections and constipation, sometimes severe.

Some kids simply need a break from the pressure of potty training. For them, it’s best to stop training and start over when they’re showing more signs of readiness and/or when there’s less stress in the house (perhaps due to a new baby, a move or a divorce, for instance.)

Other kids will resist potty training simply because they can, usually when they’re three or older. For these kids, it’s best to give them the power, telling them they’re in charge of their bodies and then backing off from any comments, prompts or pressure to potty train. Once you diffuse the power struggle, these kids usually come around and potty train themselves.

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MYTH #4: ALL KIDS CAN BE POTTY TRAINED IN A DAY. All kids train differently, and for some children, it can indeed take one day. But for the vast majority of kids, it takes longer. In fact, it takes an average of eight months for kids to be potty trained completely (including nighttime). Just follow your child’s lead and be consistent with your plan.

MYTH #5: KIDS WHO ARE POTTY TRAINED DURING THE DAY SHOULD AUTOMATICALLY STAY DRY AT NIGHT. Actually, nighttime potty training isn’t even training at all. It’s a biological issue that comes with maturity.

Assuming your child has no physical or developmental issues that could affect his or her bladder, factors such as bladder size, sound sleeping and maturity can affect his or her ability to stay dry at night. In fact, some studies show that as many as half of 3-year-olds who are potty trained during the day still wet at night. You can help by limiting fluids before bed and perhaps, waking them at 11 p.m. to use the potty. Of course, check with your pediatrician if you’re concerned.

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BABY

In a Nutshell .

A Mother's Experience with Toddler Food Allergies

By Natasha White-Rampersad, Kingston, Jamaica

"D

id you notice any mosquito bites on Jonah's face this morning?"

I asked my husband as I peered suspiciously at the welt on my toddler's eyelid. "No, he didn't have any bites," he replied. Seconds later, my 18-month-old's face was swollen and he was vigorously rubbing his eyes, now reddened and reduced to tiny slits.

Moments before, I had given him a small corner of a sandwich that I bought at a restaurant. He immediately spit it out - a regular occurrence at this stage of toddlerhood. Then, seconds afterward, he vomited.

Violently. I cleaned him up with concern, wondering whether it was a stomach bug or food poisoning. It was only when his face started to swell that I realized he was

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having an allergic reaction to the food.

What is a food allergy? A food allergy occurs when a person's immune system mistakes a food as harmful and sets off an allergic reaction to guard against the food. The reaction typically occurs within minutes up to a few hours after the food is eaten and can be triggered by even trace amounts.

What are the signs of a reaction? Signs of a reaction can include skin redness, itching or hives, tingling of the mouth, coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath, vomiting and diarrhea, facial swelling, and even death.

Most food allergies cause mild reactions but some, like my son's allergy to nuts, can cause anaphylaxis which is a severe, potentially life-threatening food allergy.

What foods cause allergies? Eight food types account for over 90% of allergic reactions: eggs, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, soy and wheat.

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hat causes food allergies? Did I eat too many peanuts during pregnancy? Too little? Did I introduce certain foods to my toddler too early or too late? How or why a baby develops food allergies are largely unknown. What one eats during pregnancy and when a food is introduced to a baby doesn't have much bearing on allergy development. Doctors have found that babies with parents who have any type of allergy are more likely to develop food allergies, and those babies with eczema are more likely as well. The World Allergy Organization (WAO) estimates that between 220-250 million persons, mostly children, suffer from food allergies globally with numbers continuing to rise.

Some food allergies can be outgrown, but many, such as nut allergies, are life-long. There isn't a cure - the only way to prevent them is to strictly avoid the offending food.

DOES MY BABY HAVE A FOOD ALLERGY?

Because of the potential of an allergic reaction, doctors recommend that new foods are introduced to babies one at a time, over a few days so that if a reaction occurs, the offending food can be easily identified. Formal assessment can be performed by a doctor certified in allergy and immunology. A special blood test or skin test can pinpoint the source of the allergy. If you suspect that your child has food allergies, first consult your pediatrician for guidance.

IT'S A NUTTY WORLD

Trying to avoid nuts becomes an everyday challenge when dealing with a curious toddler who's exploring the world with his hands and mouth. Preschool, play dates and birthdays are all anxiety-raising events which make me want to enlarge my protective bubble around him! However, the vision of him as an empowered, confident and socially well-adjusted young adult one day motivates me to keep my fears in check and navigate the peanut butter-filled minefield of toddlerhood as gracefully as possible.

So, until my baby is old enough to protect himself, I'll be the mom painstakingly reading food ingredient lists in the grocery aisle. I'll be standing vigilantly at social events, ready to extend my superhuman arms to intercept allergencontaining food that may cross his path, armed with his emergency allergy medications, and extra nut-free snacks. .

"SO, UNTIL MY BABY IS OLD ENOUGH TO PROTECT HIMSELF, I'LL BE THE MOM PAINSTAKINGLY READING FOOD INGREDIENT LISTS IN THE GROCERY AISLE."

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Natasha White-Rampersad is a registered health care professional (Occupational Therapist) and newly nut-free mom.

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SEXY REDEFINED .

By Natalie Waugh, Castries, St. Lucia

I

met my daughter's father in the place where players play, the place where assets are put on display like a high end fruit market. That night I was dressed in a mini skirt that barely covered my well-toned derriere paired with a matching bra top. I recalled the way he looked at me that night we met, an unholy stare which was my compensation for the provocative attire. I deserved his attention because for me, my body made me worthy.

Our night heralded the start of a relationship like he never had. I had a brain; a good one, and I knew how to seal the deal with the power of my passion. There was no doubt that the love that this man had for me was peppered with a lust that appealed to his carnal being.

As our life together grew, I made it my business to ensure that my 'sexy' was intact..

Two years into our relationship,

As my 5 foot 8 inch, 130 lb frame, distorted into 200 lbs of soft womanly pudge, I made a commitment to myself that the parts of me that embodied my previous wilds could not be immortalised in my husband’s mind with new maternal purposes.

I discussed with my doctor the drying of the milk to avoid the distortion of my breasts. I also decided that I would rob my husband of the opportunity of seeing my organ, once my weapon of pleasure, increase to an unbelievable size to accommodate my daughter’s head. I did not allow him to be there for the delivery.

Like the ancient woman of Africa, I retreated into the privacy of the delivery room and the doctor ceremoniously emerged bearing the prize, our child.

Three days later, I was home attempting to make adjustments to my life. This was just not me.

I was imprisoned in a body that was unfamiliar. I invested in some

AS MY TUMMY GREW AND THE SWIMSUIT MODELS BODY I ONCE POSSESSED BALLOONED, I PANICKED. I REFUSED TO BE TOUCHED, VISITED OR EVEN PHOTOGRAPHED...

I found out that I was pregnant.

This hit me hard. I was confused and apprehensive as I was unsure of the effects this would have on my relationship. Looking back, I believe my fear could have been out of my inner self acknowledging the flimsy sexual base upon which I had built our connection. As my tummy grew and the swimsuit models body I once possessed ballooned, I panicked. I refused to be touched, visited or even photographed for fear that there would be a record of this unsexy disaster that I had become.

What of this man that always wanted to ravish me? What was he thinking?

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shroud-like apparel with the hope to cover the calamity. My private moments would free my tears and self-pity. After my six-week-visit to the doctor, I was given the green light to ‘get busy again’, “yea right”, I thought. There was little change to what I had become and there was no way I would expose this.

One evening, as I curled up in my couch, buried under the yards of terry cloth, Oprah capturing my space and my daughter asleep in her crib, my husband entered the front door. “Natalie…” he said. He spoke my name with a weight that spelt sadness. “We need to talk.”

That night he unearthed his soul, and as the layers were peeled, the

man’s real beauty was left bare. He told me that he had long left the place where the movement of my hips was his addiction. He made me understand that he had discovered my truth and that is what he loved.

As he spoke he stared into my eyes, and despite the yards of fabric, I felt naked. This time it felt good. I finally allowed myself to feel worthy of TRUE LOVE and he deserved to be loved right back.

I spent the next several days introspecting and though there was no quick fix, I realized that I had built a confidence solely on the praises from others and not my own recognition of self-worth.

I gradually appreciated the depth of me, and realized that I was beautiful, not just my vessel, but me; the real me.

One night after putting our daughter to bed and having a long shower, I rummaged through my ‘intimates drawer’ and there, my hand found a lovely lacey number. I tried it on, initially to see the effects of my weight loss plan and realized that it fit, not as it did before but for once the thought “who cares!” came into my mind. I ran to the phone and called my husband, “Honey”, I said, in a now unfamiliar purr, “I need you home now”. In no less than 15 minutes I heard the screech of his tires in the driveway. He flung the door open and I was on him.

That night our souls connected.

Tears streamed down my face as I felt the love of my husband, the father of my child.

I have since reconnected with the ‘sexy’ me as I believe that an acceptance of all of who I am is the cause, the cerebral self, the frivolous self and yes the carnal self.

I have continued to work out and eat healthily, but now for the fuller purpose of health and wellness with the added bonus of looking kinda sexy. I am an anti-mom clothes advocate and aim to stay age appropriately fashionable for me, and also the visuals of my husband.

I have found real self-confidence and that, is sexy. Redefined.

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If ever there was a smile that lit up a room, it’s Robinne

A MOM ROBINNE IN LEE LOVE Lee’s. Her eyes literally dance with laughter and her whole

face transforms into a frame of joy - you can’t help but smile as well. And she has every reason to smile. Robinne is living her dream in Hollywood, the global destination for great

talents in search of stardom. Her resumé reads an impressive

list of films ranging from Hotel For Dogs with Don Cheadle, to

Hitch and Seven Pounds with Will Smith.

Story: Michelle Gordon • Photography: Dwayne Watkins • Stylist: Angelie Spencer Wardrobe: drennaLUNA (Robinne), Shhh Boutique (Eric), Christianna Collection (Alexander & Arabelle) Hair Stylist: Lisa Hutchinson • Makeup: Loni Jones

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oday, Robinne is happy beyond measure.

She’s married to director Eric Hayes, and mother to 8-year-old Alexander and almost 5-year-old Arabelle. Although they’ve been married for more than 12 years, Robinne still blushes at the mention of her husband with the innocence and shyness of a schoolgirl.

She recently vacationed in Jamaica, the birthplace of her parents, and her second home as a child. B3 got the chance to sit one on one with one of Hollywood’s most beautiful, and came away feeling in love. There’s just something about a love you can see and almost feel. Chatting as if we were old friends was easier than anticipated; it’s that smile I’m sure, disarming and welcoming at the same time.

ROBINNE, THE DAUGHTER OF THE CARIBBEAN

Was it ‘ different’ being raised by Caribbean parents?

Absolutely! My parents were very Jamaican! This meant that one; they were stricter than my friends’ American parents, and two; we were raised by my entire family. My father migrated in the late fifties, and my mother, later in the sixties. They had lots of siblings, cousins and other relatives who were always nearby to lend a hand in raising my sisters and me. The proverbial ‘look’ kept me in place, and when that didn’t work, all my mother had to do was to reach – just reach, for her slipper! As adolescents trying to fit in, we were gifted with a solid foundation based on respect and family ties, and I’ll admit now, that this worked in our favour. We had a different set of images to emulate, and less freedom to ‘follow the crowd’.

You have spoken previously of your childhood making you feel ‘set apart’ because of your Jamaican heritage. How does this translate in your own life as a mother to your two children?

I think the Jamaican culture is one where respect is expected at all levels. Strangers in the street acknowledge you simply on the basis of respect. I was raised to know and understand that type of respect. Not just of those in your circles, but a general respect of differences.

It’s very important to my husband and me that our children also know and practise respect.

They are learning from a very early age how to navigate cultures, and they are blessed to be able to Identify with, and celebrate being two cultures. (Jamaican and American)

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...I’M CONNECTED TO THE “GREATEST LITTLE ISLAND IN THE WORLD!

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JAMAICA IS A BIG PART OF WHO I AM.

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You are the daughter of Jamaicans. What does that really mean to you?

It means that I’m connected to the greatest little island in the world! Jamaica is a big part of who I am. As a child growing up, I would visit every summer, so much of my foundation years were spent seeing very strong family values. I have very specific memories here, that all form part of my definition of me. My parents believed in the tenets of strong social and family unity, and this, coupled with an incredible ethos for work, set life guidelines that were easy to follow.

Like so many folks from the Caribbean, you are mixed. Your children are mixed.

Does this have any bearing on how you raise them?

Being mixed in Jamaica is very different from being mixed in the States. I know mixture. So my ‘composition’ was normal for me. But America has a different view of race, and a different relationship with race. My children are aware of our difference, and my husband and I raise them to embrace and appreciate their difference. It makes them unique, and they understand unique to be something good, something to be proud of.

How is Jamaica represented in your home?

That’s easy! My children love visiting Jamaica, and it’s always a tearful separation, but our home is vibrant and rich with culture. We stay connected to Jamaica through our food, music and especially our conversation. We relive special memories for them by talking about Jamaica – not just about the sun, sand and sea, but about the people and places they saw.

ROBINNE, THE MOTHER Where do you go for advice when parenting gets hard?

I have a core group of Mommy friends, where collectively, we help each other. We swap advice, and it’s easy since we tend to have children with similar interests.

Define yourself as a Mom.

I’m very involved, very hands on. I’m there for all the hard stuff, the homework, the booboos, the learning curves. And we do lots of fun stuff together – bake, play games and chat. I’m always talking with my children.

But I’m also strict. Ish. Yes, I’m the disciplinarian. I’m strict about certain things. Cleanliness, hygiene and setting structure are my top three. I want to be, and I think I’m fun and cool. My son would say I’m a nag. But

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he’s 8, so that’s expected.

How important is structure and discipline to your role as a mother?

Very important. Structure and discipline set the foundation for stress-free parenting. It creates boundaries and expectations for all involved, and creates a system that continues to operate even if I’m not around. I love this part of parenting because it creates balance. My children know that I love them because for us, love isn’t just something we say, it’s something we do.

What’s your favourite time with your children?

Oh weekends for sure! Although we have dinner together every day, our evenings are rushed. Monday to Friday, we’re a busy bunch. So our dinnertime is very important. That’s when we talk a bit, then it’s bedtime – just keeping in touch till the weekend comes, and then that’s our fun time! Our weekends are awesome. .

Do you spank your children?

Parenting is not easy. I’ve had weak moments where I came close, but no, I’ve never spanked my children. And I really don’t want to. I want them to respect me, not fear me.

What’s been your proudest moment as a mother?

Whenever they put into action, the lessons that they have been taught at home. Those things make me know that I’m doing a good job.

ROBINNE, THE ACTRESS I think you should play Whitney Houston.

Lol. Is there any role you’d most like to play.

Oooh, I would love to, but it’s still too soon though, plus, I can’t sing! Hah! Seriously though, I love period pieces, and there are no blacks in those roles. I love a challenge, and would enjoy stepping back in time and embracing something completely different.

Who has been your favourite actor to work with?

Wow. Amare Herdict is great. It’s like we’re sparring in the ring, like an effortless dance. Isiah Washington is incredible. He makes you want to step out of screen and just watch him. He’s a brilliant performer. Will Smith is real and fun. With him, what you see is what you get.

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BEYOND The image you have of him as the funny, make-everybody-laugh kinda guy, well, that’s him. Oh, and Don Cheadle! Talk about inspiring. I was challenged by him.

What has been your favourite role so far?

Definitely, Avery in Being Mary Jane. Actors dream to play so many emotions.

Happiness, sorrow, fear, loss, grief, excitement; Avery is all of that. Her character is so unlike me, which makes it such an incredible challenge. And Ms. Dial. Neither role is anything like me. I think that’s why they’ve been so much fun to play.

I saw the premiere of Being Mary Jane. Congrats! My mind keeps replaying the scene when Mary Jane tells you she is sleeping with your husband. Wow! The emotion during that scene was intense, and your response was not expected.

What goes into your preparation for a role?

Ooh, that was my audition piece! It’s such a great scene. Each role I play requires research. I study the character, inside and out, and make it real. It takes time to absorb all the ins and outs playing someone that’s so different from me, but I put in the time to practise it, embellish it, and to become that person.

Considering the magnitude of the industry that you’re in, what keeps you going? .

You know, motivation is critical especially since there is so much rejection. I’ve been doing this for a long time and the ‘no’s’ can be heart-breaking, but I think I’ve become more ‘zen’ about it. There’s motivation all around me. My children keep me busy, and I write. And I always have hope….nothing compares to the thrill of getting jobs. And nothing can replace the fundamental love I have from my craft.

ROBINNE, THE WIFE Eric didn’t hesitate for a second when I asked him how he knew you were THE one. It’s that smile. It melted him beyond recognition! How did you know that he was the one?

I knew really early. Eric and I met in college. We went on one date and then ended up going our separate ways. We re-met several years later on the internet via our alumni association. We started emailing, which quickly turned to phone calls. He organized a pretty nice date - hot air balloon ride, Napa Valley wine tasting, very nice actually, and on the way back - it was a three hour drive back, I realized that I hadn’t stopped smiling for the entire time. It was effortless.

I never had any doubts about whether he would call again, or what he was thinking about. I knew in those first few weeks that he would have been my best friend. There was no drama. I felt happy.

What is the most romantic thing Eric has ever done for you?

Hmmm, let me think. That’s hard, because Eric is a romantic soul. Ok, I’ve got it! A few years ago, it was a New Years Eve before we had Arabelle, and we decided to write a letter to ourselves detailing all the goals and dreams that we had for the year ahead. It was our way of ‘calling things into being’. Well, I wrote about my professional and personal dreams, my goals, plans…all that jazz. It took me about 30 minutes. Eric was done in 30 seconds. His letter said “What an incredible year, all of Robinne’s wishes came true.”

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BEYOND You waited a while after marriage before starting your family. How did your relationship with Eric change after children arrived?

I think we were very lucky that we had the four years before where we had each other exclusively. That created such a solid start for us that even with the challenges and emotions brought on in the first stages of early parenthood, nothing shifted so drastically that caused us to forget our connection. If anything, our becoming parents took our marriage to another level.

Eric is a very good father, very involved father. He’s actually more patient than me, so to see him as Dad to our children, makes me love him even more.

In an age, (and environment) where marriages fail so easily, how do you and Eric keep the spark alive, 12 years on?

and Steve Zahn) and in real life.

What advice, if any, do you have to share with couples navigating a similar journey?

Any relationship, regardless of colour, class or creed, will survive when the two people involved want to be together. Eric and I have a connection, and for both of us, we don’t see race. Ironically, the rate of divorce among interracial marriages is significantly lower than same race marriages. Marriage itself, is not a decision for any couple to take lightly, and even moreso, an interracial marriage, which often comes with an existing set of challenges. Be aware of the challenges, and guard your partner. Those are the couples who will be less likely to allow outside influences to affect their relationship.

L.A. marathon, which is a great challenge.

Running clears my head. This is my time alone to think, and plan, and dream. Unlike many other runners, I don’t listen to music when I run. This is the time when I get into a ‘zone’. It focuses and refreshes me - my time to regenerate, With focus and determination fully engaged, and a solid family foundation for support, Robinne is ready to embrace all the world as her stage.

Look out for Robinne Lee as Avery alongside Gabrielle Union and an all-star cast in Being Mary Jane, a drama television series which debuts January 2014 on BET.

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You know, it really makes a difference when a husband and wife like each other; when they like being around each other. We talk a lot! About anything and everything. I’m always interested in what’s going on in Eric’s life, and he in mine. We love each other, and our love goes significantly deeper than what exists on the surface.

I’ve always wanted to know how the husband of an actress feels when she becomes intimate in one of her roles. Can you share some insight on this?

There’s a level of trust that you share with your spouse that makes it possible for him to understand that this is work. It’s technical and scripted, and Eric knows there’s no romance involved. I promise you – there is absolutely nothing even vaguely romantic about intimate scenes for film.

Having 40 people around prepping and prodding and instructing you creates just about the least romantic environment you could ever imagine. It’s all about becoming a persona, a character, and stepping into, and embracing a role. Similarly, the emotion that an actor puts into a fight scene is the same intensity that he brings to a love scene, but it’s all still just work.

You know the workings of interracial relationships both on camera (National Security, 2003, opposite Martin Lawrence 62 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 |

ROBINNE, THE WOMAN What makes Robinne stand out?

Stand out? Wow! You know what? My life is exciting. I’m interested in so many things, and because I’m an over-achiever, I’m constantly challenging myself to succeed.

I don’t, and won’t allow myself to get complacent. I’m always learning new skills and trying different hobbies, and always trying to be a better me.

You seem to have such a great life going on. What could make it better for you?

More time in my day! There’s never enough time. Oh, and I’d love to not have to audition. lol

Let’s talk about your style. What influences the kind of clothes you wear?

I’m a mom, and for me, less is more. I like classic, clean chic. No fuss. I’m a lover of all things Parisian, so I’m most comfortable in anything that exudes pared-down class.

Do you have a routine for ‘Robinne’? Something that keeps you grounded and sane in a crazy world?

I love to run. My workout for the past 20 years has been running. I cover 4-5 miles 3 times a week. I participate in the

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MY LIFE IS “EXCITING. I’M INTERESTED IN SO MANY THINGS, AND BECAUSE I’M AN OVER-ACHIEVER, I’M CONSTANTLY CHALLENGING MYSELF TO SUCCEED.

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BEYOND

Books .

M By: Nicole Weaver, Haiti

y heart is singing with glee after reading “I am Mixed”. I am especially happy for the many mixed race children because they now have a book they can identify with. I wish this book was around when my kids were young.

The authors, Sebastian A. Jones and Garcelle Beauvais, have done a great job writing this important book about twins Jay, and his sister Nia. The authors portray the twins like any other children; living life and doing the same type of things all children do, regardless of race, creed, or color.

After having raised three mixed race children, I have learned to be kind when people ask insensitive questions. I still remember the day one woman asked me if I was my daughter’s nanny. I did not get upset; I simply smiled and said no. Mixed race children often have a difficult time identifying with their parents because society wants to define them by a single race and by extension, associate them with one parent. I loved it when Tiger Woods took a stand and said he is both black and Asian. My three children had to deal with the same type of issues.

I think the best way to help mixed children handle

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the pressures of being mixed is for the Mom and Dad to have a strong love for each other. All children, regardless of race, need to observe a strong family bond. That type of stability will help weather all of society’s curve balls.

In my family, hubby and I often spoke honestly to our children about any questions regarding race issues. We were able to diffuse all the negatives that were hurled their way.

I firmly believe in the old adage: A family that plays together stays together. In the book, the authors did a great job showing the family having fun together.

This charming book will be a great resource for all families, helping people in general to recognize that we are all the same. I think the authors portrayed that very well. The illustrations by James C. Webster are top notch. As you move through each page, the artwork grabs and holds your attention.

My favorite part of the book is: “I am the best from all over the world. I am like every boy and girl.”

The tenets of this book apply to so many families in the Caribbean, since we are a large melting pot of such a variety of nations and races, I recommend this book for every home, because all children, regardless of where in the world they live, can learn that we are all the same.

Above: “I AM MIXED”

by Garcelle Beauvais and Sebastian A. Jones

Born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Nicole Weaver is an award winning author currently living in the United States. Fluent in Creole, French, Spanish and English, she is a veteran teacher of French and Spanish, and has written two trilingual children’s books: “Marie and Her Friend the Sea Turtle” and “My Sister is my Best Friend”. Visit her website at http://www.nicole-weaver.com

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BEYOND

Sprucing Up For The Holidays

By Aiesha Panton, Jamaica

For many of us, the living room is the heart of our home, This is where we often come together to eat, play, pray and celebrate with family and friends. So it’s usually the first space we wish to infuse with holiday cheer. .

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BEYOND ACCENT PILLOWS Accent pillows are an easy element to play around with. There are a plethora of pillows available that not only bring quick style to your favourite space, but also make it that much more comfortable and snug. If you are a classic, go with traditional holiday red, but punch it up with pops of teal, and if your existing decor allows, include some patterns and added depth by playing around with different textures. If your style is more neutrals, then play up that palette by including a potpourri of metallics. I love a combo of gold, copper and matte silver. This is your chance to get festive without being over the top. There are lots of great options trims and splashes of sequins, glitter and other glitz and glam. There are also lots of pillows with beautiful typography designs that really spell out how you feel about the season. .

COFFEE TABLE

KIDS’ ROOM

Creating a tablescape for the coffee table for the holiday season is a must. If you live near the sea, then on your next trip to the beach grab some stones, shells and driftwood from the shoreline and spray them in your favourite shade of metal, or any colour you fancy, and create your own design. If not, you can go to a nearby craft store and choose from their selection. You can also hang a long stick or driftwood on the wall to display your greeting cards. Add mercury candleholders and, candlesticks with elegant coloured tapers.

So there’s the living room, but we must take the cheer to our kids’ rooms too! A quick and easy and equally enchanting idea is to stream LED Christmas lights down the walls, on their beds and in the windows. A sweet bonus is to use the lights that not only blink but play their favourite Christmas carols too.

Another great idea is to spruce up all the wall decor by putting up seasonal decals and stickon objects. Also, hanging large decorative items from the ceiling such as crystal studded angel wings for a girl’s room, and some stars for a boy’s room. These will make a statement. And I don’t know a little girl who loves dolls who wouldn’t want a little Christmas tree that she can decorate for her dolls. This is their chance to get really creative using old ornaments, ornaments they make themselves, and maybe even ditching traditional green trees and going with fun shades of pink, white and blue.

Little boys would enjoy converting some of their animal figurines and miniature trucks, cars and trains into ornaments for their very own Christmas tree as well.

Hope these ideas bring cheer and style to your home this holiday season!

WREATH This year, how about replacing your storebought wreath with a custom-made square wreath of fresh greenery. Do it yourself if you're up to it, or order from your favourite florist. You can hang one on the door as well as use one as a decorative frame on your gallery wall. Or, make little bundles of fragrant greenery, like rosemary, and tie them onto door knobs with ribbon or cord to really bring in the beautiful smell of Christmas in a stylish and unexpected way.

Aiesha Panton is a lover of all things beautiful. She is a sought-after Event Stylist, and the curator of the chic retail event Conversation Piece. Visit her blog for design inspiration at www.pussbackfoot.com.

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Making Meal Time FAMILY TIME

By Gayle Cunningham, Trinidad & Tobago

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inner time is always an adventurous endeavour in our household. What with four children between the ages of twelve and four, one on a special allergy specific diet, two of them just plain nit-picky and the fourth child who would eat most anything, but only in the tiniest of portions. It would be so easy to feed them all at separate times. But no, every night at around 6 - 6:30 we make the effort to have dinner together, as a family.

In our case family is mummy, daddy, the four kiddies and sometimes Granddad if he can stomach the noisy chatter. The older kids have the responsibility of setting the table (and clearing it at the end) and we sit and have a meal. When they were younger I would dish out their meals but now that they are older the dishes are laid out in the middle and everyone dishes out their own dinner.

Involving the children in the setting of the table and dishing out of the meal made them feel important and grown up and want to stay with us longer.

Dinner is the only time of the day really that we are all together and not rushing off in a frenzied state to school, to work or to an after- school activity. There are no deadlines just sitting and eating. Oh and a whole lot of chatter. At this time we talk about school, work, sports, favourite colours you name it. Unbeknownst to the children this time is also about teaching and learning. Strange eh, that a simple meal can be a teaching tool, but it is. .

JUST BY BEING WITH US AND WATCHING US THEY ARE LEARNING:

"Where are you going? Get back on the table!"

"Yes of course you have to eat ALL of your callaloo."

"Why is your foot on the chair… that is not how ladies sit!"

"You are finished? But you haven’t even touched your food!"

"Oh my goodness! Don’t stuff all that in your mouth, you will choke!"

"All things I have said to my troop at dinnertime."

Dinnertime hmmm...

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The correct way to hold a knife and fork,

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How to chew, with your mouth closed of course.

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To sit with feet down on the floor, if at least one child achieves this then we are certainly happy campers.

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Watching us eat the occasional green vegetable has actually enticed them to try it once and keep trying it.

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Even more important they are practicing to talk to each other and express themselves.

The holidays will soon be upon us bringing with it an air of excitement and anticipation of trees, decorations, lights and the presents that go under it. It also brings with it huge gatherings filled with boisterous friends and family getting together to share a meal and be merry. Perfect time to put all that we have learnt at the dinner table to the test. Most definitely the children will

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Grocery Bliss for Moms from Sampars

www.shopsampars.com shine like the twinkling stars on the tree. Christmas get-togethers, family dinners, lunches and such, however, bring with it a whole different set of challenges.

As exciting as the time is, it is Christmas after all; it can be a bit overwhelming for most children whether they are 2 or 17. All these strange people who want to hug, tickle and kiss them. The food, though delicious to us, may just not be as enticing to the plain rice and chicken crew that you are taking along with you. Say Hallelujah for macaroni and cheese.

The time that you eat can also make or break your celebration.

Around Christmas time when it comes to having the family over or taking your family out, I suggest that you follow the premise that you never leave your house with your stomach in your hand.

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aising a child is full of challenges and can be extremely time consuming. Sleep and down time are luxuries that you are rarely ever afforded. Despite a parent’s hectic schedule, Shopsampars.com recognizes that rest and relaxation are essential to being a good parent, so having one less task, could make a world of difference.

Now you can purchase your groceries online and we’ll deliver anywhere in Jamaica for only JM $950. We want you to spend those memorable moments with your child - not in supermarket lines!

omo B3Pr

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TO MAKE CHRISTMAS MEALS EASY FOR ALL MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY I ALWAYS DO THE FOLLOWING: �

Prep the children by telling them who will be there and how they are expected to behave.

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I offer a light snack or meal before leaving. Just enough so that no one is starving when we get there but still have space for the real food.

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Eating before they get there also makes you feel better if they decide only to eat cake

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Definitely relax the taste something green rule.

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Take along something for your picky eater

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Always be prepared to leave before food starts flying.

Just like regular dinnertime the most important part of dining with family at Christmas time is being with your children, your family and friends, sharing stories, talking plenty and eating good food.

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BEYOND

KIDS WILL BE KIDS…

With Dr. Lisa Banton, M.B;B.S., D.M. (Paediatrics) Consultant Pediatrician My son is 8 and has already developed a body odour. On my mother’s advice, I tried using baking soda, but it’s not working. I feel it’s too early to expose him to the chemicals in deodorants, but he needs something to control the smell. Any recommendations?

coordination does not occur and their movements come across as being clumsy. Your daughter should be reviewed by her paediatrcian to rule out any other causes for her clumsiness. She can then be referred to the appropriate health professional, who can help her cope with her clumsiness.

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Body odour usually starts when kids have gone into puberty, as they produce hormones that contribute to an odour. However, most 8 year olds are not quite there yet although I have seen a few in recent times. The other culprits for body odour are sweat and bacteria. The first suggestion would be regular baths with keen attention to the underarm. You may use an antibacterial soap to bathe, followed by an over-the counter antibacterial cream. My other suggestion is to avoid certain foods such as garlic, onions and spicy dishes. If none of these work, you may try natural deodorants which are sold in some pharmacies.

How do I know if my child has worms?

The most common sign of worms is itching of the anus. You may remember having an itchy bottom sometimes as a kid. The itching is usually worse at nights so you may notice your child is very restless during sleep. Another sign may be a decrease in appetite. In girls, worms can also cause a vaginal discharge. A good place to look for worms is in the toilet so pay attention to your child’s stool. They look like small pieces of white thread. If you suspect that your child has worms, you can visit your local pharmacy where over the counter medication is available for treatment.

My daughter is 7 years old. She’s happy and clever, but she’s the clumsiest child I know. I’m writing to you because secretly, I can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with her. I don’t want to be an oblivious parent, but her simple and often silly accidents have been consistent throughout her 7 years. She falls all the time; even when there’s nothing in her way. Her eyesight is fine, but I’m wondering what else could be the problem.

My son has an addiction to white rice. He eats it for breakfast, lunch and dinner – and nothing else. No gravy, no veggies, nothing. I try to supplement his diet with vitamins, which he takes occasionally, but how do I get him to eat like a normal person.

Your son sounds like a very picky eater. You can slowly try to introduce him to other foods. This can be done by disguising the new food in his favourite meal of white rice. He may probably reject this once he is aware of the new addition but you have to be persistent. You can grate small amount of veggies and protein initially and slowly increase the amount. Start with one new food at a time and mix it up once he gets used to that new food.

I was gardening recently and came across a plant that was heavily covered in my son’s chewable vitamins. There were at least 30 tablets sitting in the soil beneath the leaves of the plant. Obviously my son has been discarding his daily dose of health.

How can I get him to take his vitamins? He has an acute sense of taste, so hiding them in food and drink won’t work. He’s 7 by the way.

Your son probably thinks that the plants need the vitamins more than he does (smile). If you ensure that your son eats a balanced meal on a daily basis he will get all the vitamins and minerals he needs. Picky eaters may however be missing out on these essential vitamins and minerals. In this case you can try foods that are fortified or enriched with minerals or vitamins e.g. Orange juice fortified with calcium. If all that fails, you may try changing his vitamins to a form that he tolerates e.g., flavored liquid or gummie bears, assuming these are not the ones he has been feeding to the plants.

It sounds like your daughter has a medical condition known as dyspraxia or clumsy child syndrome. Most children have a mild problem and a very small percentage stand out.

Learning to coordinate movement of the hands and feet usually occurs within the first 5 years of life. In some children, this

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Same Great Taste and Texture that your little one has grown to love!

Breast Milk is the best food for babies. NESTUM速 Infant Cereals may be introduced from six months onwards as part of a healthy weaning diet.

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Enjoy the Good Life at

Good Hope Estate By: Joni Wedderburn, Jamaica Photos Contributed by Chukka Adventures

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Searching for a new and exciting adventure that the whole family can enjoy? How about a trip that combines scenic views and lush gardens with 18th century architecture, fun games, off-roading and iguanas! Got your attention?

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ook no further than Good Hope Estate, a stunning 2,000 acre great house property in historic Falmouth, Jamaica. Opened by Chukka Adventure in 2011, Good Hope recently underwent a multi-million dollar expansion that would make the infamous Annie Palmer jealous.

The refurbished facilities offer an array of memorable activities and tours unlike any other location.

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Journey onto the estate in fine style by classic horse-drawn carriage, and head over to the Caribbean Village. Mom and Dad can treat themselves to a warm, rich cup of Jablum Coffee and everyone can relish in tantalizing dishes flavoured with zesty seasonings and spices from Walkerswood.

Next, take a stroll to the Exotic Bird Aviary and meet its colourful inhabitants: macaws, parakeets and pigeons, as well as some sneaky iguanas who have somehow managed to get in on the resident list. How about feeding your new-found friends? It’s a

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BEYOND close encounter of the ‘bird’ kind! Get it?

Parents, get ready to let loose on a thrilling ATV Safari through adventurefilled terrain. Work up a good sweat, then head over to estate’s café and enjoy refreshing, tropical beverages or indulge in signature drink mixes infused with the island’s world-renowned Appleton Estate Rum. Take the time to truly unwind as Good Hope has plenty of exciting activities in store for your young ones.

Children have access to a dedicated Kid’s Playground that is certified fun! They can tackle the obstacles lined up at the challenge course, enjoy the slide, swings and spinning tyre in the two-story playhouse, and dive into the glistening waters of the kiddie swimming pool, perfect for cooling off after a long day out on the property’s sun-kissed grounds.

After 30 years of successfully delivering fun, laughter and adventure, the folks at Chukka are expert entertainers and know a thing or two about showing their guests a great time.

So what are you waiting for? Check out their website at www.chukkacaribbean.com or call 1-877-4-CHUKKA to get the latest scoop on the Good Hope Estate. .

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Raising Caribbean Kids in the UAE

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By Marsha Hilton, United Arab Emirates from Jamaica .

any Caribbean people still live by the old African adage: “It takes a village to raise a child”.

At least the Caribbean people that I have been exposed to. But what happens when your village is thousands of miles away from home?

We are an airline family and this is where my husband’s career has taken us; the United Arab Emirates. It’s an adventure, and we are grateful for the experiences that make us able to provide for our sons, ages 4 and 10. However, raising a family away from your support system is always challenging, and raising a Caribbean one is a feat. It’s a concerted effort to keep external family bonds strong. Values that were passed on to us by our extended families are now entirely our responsibility. Influences around us tend to be predominantly European and American, with very little Caribbean exposure. Humility becomes challenging in a society where material things take center stage as the epitome of success, and if you’re not careful, values, such as the power of prayer, can get lost along the way.

In the UAE, expatriates exist in a sort of bubble, providing a variety of experiences. The absence of extended families sometimes makes it difficult to reinforce our customs and traditions. My sons frequently ask about familial connections, and our favorite thing to do after the summer holidays is to display something brought back from Jamaica. Although we have good friends among other expat families from

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all over the globe, it can become a very transient scene, with many families moving on after a two year posting, further contributing to challenges in creating stability in their formative years.

As I am musing over what it means to raise the boys here, I recall a recent incident at their school where I saw one child pushing another. I noticed that the other parents kept walking. I scolded the children just like I would do with my sons. This made me realize that most people try not to get too involved. Growing up In Jamaica, my sisters and I were always aware that as long as an adult was around, we had to keep ‘in line’.

Unfortunately, many children are not held accountable for unacceptable behavior if it happens in their parents’ absence. Putting our culture into practice, we maintain friendships with other families with similar values and traditions. My circle includes other islanders; friends from Mauritius who identify more with my Caribbean values of raising my children. “No you can’t call her by her first name …its Aunty So & So” is a frequent remark among us.

It’s been almost 7 years, and I’m lucky to be among five Jamaican families who have created our own “village” by living in the same complex. We have an open door system, and with the safety that this society affords, it’s not unusual for my sons and the other kids to go running from house to house freely. We celebrate Christmas and birthdays together. I am blessed to have a multitude of parenting tips from my neighbors to draw upon. Our impromptu gatherings, that usually begin with conversations on the steps, are a source of entertainment and familiarity easily associated with home.

GROWING UP IN JAMAICA, MY SISTERS AND I WERE ALWAYS AWARE THAT AS LONG AS AN ADULT WAS AROUND, WE HAD TO KEEP ‘IN LINE’. .

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BEYOND

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We asked, You Answered!

Caribbean Connections

What is the greatest challenge you have found, if any, raising your children while living outside of the Caribbean?

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Racism. We don't want our kids to have an inferiority complex. We want them to develop a good sense of self, and self-esteem. They must believe that anything they want to accomplish is possible once they work hard. That is why we surround them with good role models (of their hue) and are very involved in their schools and extra-curricular activities.

- John P., from Castires, St. Lucia now living in Houston, Texas

I think our greatest challenge is the absence of family nearby. As you know when you have little ones it’s always nice to have a few helping hands around. It has taken us a long time to build a network of friends

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aising my sons in an expat community teaches them tolerance of others. They are exposed to different cultures; different ethnicities. Things that many children only learn about through books, our boys get first-hand knowledge from people who have experienced them.

My neighbour and I discuss this frequently, exchanging examples in an effort to reassure ourselves that we are exposing them to a better way of thinking. I fill her in on my proud moment when we took the boys to South Africa and my eldest was able to comprehend and resonate with things about apartheid that no book could have taught him. He rolled his eyes at my effort to explain apartheid, and told me he already knew what it was because his South African classmate explained it. He already understood through the eyes of a peer.

We may be away from our immediate family, but we are here for a reason. And while we’re here, we’re learning. Nothing is taken for granted; we celebrate even the tiniest moments, which is a result of being disconnected from home. Simple things now have so much more meaning.

New traditions are created, and everything becomes a learning experience. Ackee and salt fish; an opportunity to teach them about Jamaican food, hearing Sean Paul on the radio; our dance class begins. Seeing posters of Usain Bolt sparks a discussion of pride. International day at school is an opportunity to educate others about Jamaica. Teaching them about our culture makes us nostalgic for home, but it also reminds us to be proud. Being exposed to a very vibrant dynamic expat life makes us more tightly knit and is preparing my boys to become global citizens, ready for a life anywhere.

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with similar values; some of Caribbean origin and some not. Where we live there aren't a lot of Caribbean folks and with my husband’s and my crazy job schedules it was difficult to find time to socialise.

Now that he is finished his medical training and we can afford it, we try to visit Trinidad once a year. We also have their cousins and grandparents visit in the summer and other holidays. We also try to either host or visit our Caribbean friends when we have time, so they learn about other Caribbean cultures through language, food and music.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that has essentially eroded so many of the values that we hold dear. We teach our children to pray in every single circumstance, and though her school doesn’t practice praying, we do. Recently, our six-year-old daughter was having a hard time studying for a spelling test. She said she prayed before the test, and she told her friends that she got 100% because God helped her to remember. We were proud that she was able to assimilate the value of praying to her everyday life. That’s definitely something that we have to take responsibility for at home.

- Camille H., from Arima, Trinidad now living in Virgina, USA

- Lena S., from St. Elizabeth, Jamaica now living in Sacramento, California

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BLISSFUL PARENTING with Elena Diedrick-Lynch

Imagine a world where parenting is taught in school, and then you’re handed an operations manual the moment you’ve delivered your baby! Now wake-up, and instead of dreaming, ask our Blissful Mummy all the things you want and need to know to get through those pesky parenting moments. Send your questions and comments to blissfulmummy@b3caribbeanmagazine.com .

My 5-year-old daughter morphed this past summer from a sweet, gentile little princess, into a whiny, cranky complainer. I’m at a loss as to why, and have no idea how to deal with her. I find myself getting short with her and easily annoyed. Help!

Dear Mummy – I feel your pain. I read something the other day that explained that children between the ages of 3-5 have the same hormonal imbalances as teenagers between the ages of 13-15, so this is a great precursor to what you have to look forward to in the future! That being said, most of these hormonal fluctuations can be resolved with some good old fashion validation. One on one time is really important. Make a plan with your little one to spend at least 10 minutes together every day. No computer, no ipad, just one on one doing an activity or craft, playing a game or going for a special outing. Find ways in your every day life to incorporate them to make them not only feel validated and special but more useful as a member of your family. Give them special tasks that “only they can do”. It’s a work in progress so don’t start and forget about it – be consistent and keep up the special hugs and kisses.

I recently caught my daughter masturbating twice in as many weeks. She’s 9 years-old. The first time I hid because I didn’t want her to see me. But now that it’s happened again, I don’t know what to do.

Do I ignore it as a phase? Or is there something going on that I need to address?

I would caution you not to make her feel ashamed or embarrassed.

The stage that she’s approaching is one where she’ll need your guidance more than ever to ensure she embarks upon the world of self-discovery safely. Masturbation is a perfectly natural form of self-exploration. I’ll admit that it’s definitely not what I’d expect from a nine year old, but she’s simply developing faster than others. It doesn’t mean she’s wrong or dirty. Explain to her that it’s something she shouldn’t do in public and that getting to know herself is perfectly natural. She should also understand that any feeling she has to explore at this stage really ought to be discussed

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with you and Daddy to make sure she knows how to process it all.

No doubt she’ll be full of questions and maybe feel shy to discuss it with you both, but continue to encourage her to share and that she can discuss anything with you. The last thing you want is for her to resort to discussing this with her friends or acting any of these feelings out with them. It could cause an issue with her current friendships and their parents not wanting their children to be exposed to this level of development before their children actually experience it themselves. There are many different books that can help you to explain her feelings and her body and what’s happening to her – use them. If you aren’t yet prepared to have the TALK yet, get ready because your child is!

My husband is incapable of saying no to our children, and now I’m the dragon. I want a happy home, but I refuse to ‘spoil’ my kids. My 4 year-old told me that I say no too much. How do I strike a balance, without becoming a pushover?

Dear Mummy – this is a common issue in many families so rest assured you’re not alone. The truth is our goal as parents is to build a foundation for our little to flourish, and for them to learn basic morals and values. We will not always be liked and we might even get a few “ I hate you’s” along the way. Unfortunately, most couples don’t find themselves discussing their views on parental strategies while dating or even in the early years of marriage. It’s not until parenting is upon us that we realize how our roles have been carved out. It won’t be an overnight fix but sit with your husband and start to determine a middle ground. What behaviour will warrant what kind of discipline? How you are both going to share those responsibilities and reassure him that you’re both playing your role in being parents. Support each other. It’s important to show a unified front. Once you figure out a plan, sit your kids down and explain how things are going to change and that they need to respect both of you equally because you’re both in charge. Once the communication and parenting roles are clear then your household should be a lot happier.

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The world is waiting.

Wherever in the world you wish to explore, we can help take you there. We’re bringing you more destinations to make the world feel smaller so you can dream bigger.

AmericanAirlines and the Flight Symbol logo are marks of American Airlines, Inc. oneworld is a mark of the oneworld Alliance, LLC. Š 2013 American Airlines, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Holiday

Smoked Ham with Sorrel Glaze

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When fully thawed, remove ham from wrapper and pre- heat oven to 325°F. Place ham in baking pan and heat for 17 to 22 minutes per kg.

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When heated through, take the ham out of the oven and set aside. If you have a bone-in ham remove the skin.

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The children can help to combine honey, sugar and ground cloves in a bowl. Allow kids to carefully coat ham with the mixture.

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Caribbean Christmas dinner just isn’t complete without a big, juicy ham! But with all the shopping, gift wrapping, house decorating and entertaining to be done, who has time to spend hours in the kitchen? The holidays are supposed to be about coming together and celebrating as a family, and we’ve found a great solution! This season, Caribbean Passion gives you the greatest gift; more time to spend with the ones you love.

We’re saving time (and money) this Christmas without sacrificing any of the traditional taste!

Follow this simple recipe - Smoked Ham with Sorrel Glaze, and be prepared for a mouth-watering delight, and lots of time on your hands! Want an added bonus? It’s so easy to prepare, even the kids can get in on the action, so you can make this a family affair from start to finish!

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SMOKED HAM INGREDIENTS ˏˏ 7.9 kg Caribbean Passion Smoked Ham ˏˏ 1/2 cup honey ˏˏ 1 tbsp ground cloves ˏˏ 1 cup brown sugar ˏˏ Canned pineapple slices ˏˏ 1 jar (4 oz) Maraschino Cherries

SORREL GLAZE ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ

2 cups sorrel juice 2 cups sugar 1 cup water 1 tbsp. ginger powder 2 tbsp. lime juice

DIRECTIONS: 1.

Grab your kids and head to your favourite supermarket to pick up your fully cooked Caribbean Passion Ham.

2.

Thaw your ham on the lowest shelf in the fridge overnight.

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Return ham to oven at 450°F for 15 minutes to allow sugar to caramelize.

While the ham is in the oven, place the ingredients for the glaze in a blender and then puree until smooth.

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Pour mixture into a sauce pan and cook until reduced by half.

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When the ham is ready, remove from oven and place on a platter. Lightly score the surface of the ham using a sharp knife. Where the lines intersect insert a stick of clove in the ham.

10. Put the pineapples on the ham and place cherries in the centre holes of the pineapple using toothpicks to keep the pineapples and cherries in position.

11. Allow your pint size assistants to apply glaze to the ham and re-glaze every ten minutes until all or most of the glaze is used up.

Voila! With the addition of this delectable ham, your dinner table is soon a magnet for your guests. Parents, be sure to acknowledge and thank your ‘kitchen helpers’ when your guests arrive, and take the time to truly indulge and enjoy your tasty meal.

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HOLIDAY FOOD

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FOR THOUGHT

By Joni Wedderburn, Jamaica

'Tis the season for fancy Christmas outings, and all through the house, the glam and glitzy décor, and edible dangers lay about.

Greeted by mouth-watering aromas flowing through the decked-out halls, guests are confident the food will be delectable, no doubt.

As everyone gathered by the table, intoxicated by the holiday cheer, they quickly dug into the scrumptious spread of chicken, stuffing, rice, and of course pears.

But while mommy and daddy are busy schmoozing with family and friends, poor Junior has accidentally bitten into a piece of pepper and burst into tears!

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big part of the Christmas celebration is coming together to enjoy good company and great food. In most Caribbean islands, holiday gatherings are centred around the kitchen and dining table. This is the epicentre for meals oftentimes prepared by multiple, self-proclaimed master-chefs, busy dusting off fancy china, finally released from imprisonment in the breakfront. As the stifling heat gives way to a cool, caressing breeze and work related stress seems to melt away, albeit temporarily, it’s a wonderful time to relax, unwind and perhaps let your guard down, a little too much. Parents, it’s very easy to get caught up in this euphoric atmosphere but as with any other time throughout the year, and perhaps even more so now, you have to be vigilant about what your children consume during those highly anticipated dinner parties.

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FINDING THE NEEDLES IN THE HAYSTACK Small bones, particularly those found in fish, can sometimes be very tricky to find. Youngsters may not have the patience to seek them out so be sure to carefully check their food before they’re ready to take their first bite into the meal.

FEELING HOT, HOT, HOT! When temperatures drop, nothing soothes the soul more than a piping hot cup of soup or manish water. Even as adults, our quest to gobble up the warm goodness has resulted in countless burnt tongues. Let the soup cool first and then conduct your own little taste test to ensure that your kiddies can handle it.

I NEED WATER ASAP All jerk sauces are not created equal and some certainly pack a much bigger punch than others. Jerk chicken and pork may be quintessentially Jamaican dishes but also remember that their

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popularity is built on their spicy seasonings, which your tykes may find a bit overwhelming.

BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL! After all tis’ the season for Christmas cake, egg nog and sorrel, all of which may or may not contain copious amounts of liquor.

Depending on the age of your child, you may want to altogether avoid allowing your kids to eat or drink any of these holiday staples.

If you’re ok with them sampling these goodies, ensure that they consume small qualities under your watchful eye.

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? Unless you’ve personally cooked a dish, you can never be certain about what ingredients were included. For parents with children who suffer from food allergies (nuts and eggs are usually big culprits), always consult the individuals who have prepared the meal to ensure that they don't contain anything that will cause a bad reaction. .

Christmas is a time for celebration but accidents can easily happen and put a damper on festivities if parents aren’t careful. Ensure that you are taking the time to monitor your children before, during and even after dinner, to avoid any unfortunate, food-related incidents.

Writer, content creator and public relations consultant, Joni Wedderburn has enjoyed a long-standing affair with creative and engaging communication. Having lived in cosmopolitan Miami, historic London and bustling Kingston, she has been inspired to be bold, fun and highly energized in both her personal and professional life. She is currently the Buzz Director of her new, dynamic publicity agency, PR Muse, and may be contacted at joniwedd@yahoo.com for more information about the company’s services.

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mul•ti•plic•i•ty noun \muhl-tuh-plis-i-tee\ 1. a large number or variety 2. the state of being multiplex or manifold; manifold variety. .

Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot on location: The Hope Zoo, Kingston, Jamaica Wardrobe: Right Bank Babies, Cradle to Footsteps, Fore Axel & Hudson Stylist: Angelie Spencer and Norma Williams

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Tuxedo Onsies: Ruffle Butts

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Did You Know?

TWINS Your chances of having twins increase with age. So if you’re over age 35, prepare for the unexpected. Well, at least, you stand double the chance of your counterparts 10 years your junior.

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Black and Cream Speckled Jacquard Tweed Dress: Right Bank Babies Pink Striped Button Down Shirt & Bowtie: Fore, Axel & Hudson Chambray Suit: Tommy Hilfiger Black and Grey Fedora: Fore, Axel & Hudson

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Blue Polo: Fore, Axel & Hudson Navy Twill Pants: Kartoons Kataloons Brown Swirl Bubble Romper: Owls & Bats

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Did You Know?

TRIPLETS Do multiples run in your family? Are you. your mother. or your maternal grandmother a fraternal twin? If so, you may be genetically pre-disposed to conceiving multiples yourself.

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Super Cropped Tee with Over-The-Knee Sock Leggings and Reversible Circle Skirt, Bubble Dress, Reversible Smock Dot Dress: Right Bank Babies

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Long Sleeve Peter Pan Harlequin Dress, Bubble Dress, Ruched Sleeved Tee with Reversible Skirt, Reversible Smock Dress with Over-The-Knee Sock Leggings: Right Bank Babies 98 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 |

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Did You Know?

QUADRUPLETS The average duration of a singleton pregnancy is 40 weeks. The average is 37 weeks for twins, 34 weeks for triplets and 32 weeks for quadruplets.

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Hydrangea White Strap Tanks: Trish Scully Child • Reversible Wrap Skirts: Llum Fuchsia Stella, Yellow Camilla, Polka Dot Peyton Headbands: RuffleButts

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Who's Who? QUADRUPLETS Although quadruplets may come from the same sac, they are rarely identical.

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Good Move

Moving With A Young Family

By Elena Diedrick-Lynch, Jamaica

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oving is a lot like losing weight – as much as you hate the process, sometimes you just have to go through it. Moving with a young family can be chaotic, but if you organise things in stages you can retain your sanity.

Ideally, you should give yourself two months to get organised for the big day. This gives everyone time to adjust to the idea of moving and allows you to ensure the packing doesn’t drive you completely mad. Here are some great tips on how to make your move easier on everyone:

PRE-MOVING DAY �

Make sure you have all of your supplies. Call around to supermarkets and find out when they have their deliveries and have them put up some boxes for you. Make sure you get some strong packing tape and markers to identify each box.

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Get your kids involved with the move by giving them jobs like stacking books and DVD’s (the non- breakables) in smaller boxes. Have the kids decorate the boxes while you’re packing.

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Help your little ones with an activity on moving day.

Organising a play date for them or put together a ‘Moving Day Activity bag’ with snacks, juice boxes and quiet activities like colouring books and crayons, books to read, or the family iPad with some new stories or games for them to explore. This will ensure little ones are safely occupied and out of the way of big boxes and furniture coming in.

Getting your family ready to move presents a great opportunity to trim the fat and de-junk. Put three boxes in your children’s rooms; tag them as “ Keep, Give Away and Sell”. If you’re like me you might also want a “Dump” box for anything that can’t be cleaned up to be given away. You can even go a step further by implementing the six-month rule – if you haven’t seen it or used it in six months, put it in the “Give Away” or “Junk” pile.

We all want to teach our kids good morals and values, and incorporating a charity box is a great way to do that. Teach your children from an early age that they don’t always need

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to keep everything – especially when they’ve outgrown it.

Use the same six-month rule with your kids’ toys and books.

If you’re tired of reading the same story night after night they might be too. Ask them how they feel about sharing the book with some other children who might enjoy it more – empower them by having them place it in the charity box.

For children that are writing, have them write little notes that will go along with their old stuffed animals, books or toys so the next owner can appreciate where it’s from. *NOTE: The charity box can be kept in the house after you move and at each gift-receiving opportunity have your child choose one item for every new gift they receive that they’re willing to give away to another needy child.

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Make a simple checklist for each room of what must be packed. You can find some easy templates online; my favourite is on realsimple.com. Sit your children down and help them write their own lists so that when it comes time to pack they can make sure what they want comes with them.

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Number the boxes that come out of each room – so if you have 4 boxes for your son’s room make sure you write “1 of 4, 2 of 4” etc. Boxes can be easily misplaced or left behind and this way we make sure your kids have all of their stuff where they can find it which will make the readjusting to a new space that much easier. .

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If your family is like mine, you may tend to accumulate a lot of stuff. Make a note of the contents of each box by its number, so when you reach your new house you can make it a home that much faster by knowing exactly where to find those indispensable items.

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Always organise the bedrooms first, and make the children's room your top priority. If night falls while you’re still very much in the throes of your move they can go to bed and feel a sense of normalcy because they have their own space set up.

Packing your life and your stuff into boxes to move into a new house can be stressful, but if you organise yourself and stay focused on the goal you can teach your children to do the same and help them adjust and quickly make your new house a home.

Happy Moving!

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Co-Parenting When You’re No Longer A

Couple

By Georgia Rose, Montego Bay, Jamaica

“I felt so confused. I didn’t think it was ok to love my father because my mom would get so angry each time he called. I grew up resenting my mom for preventing me from bonding with my father. I really didn’t care that he had cheated on her. That had nothing to do with me”.

-Simone

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“MY MOM USED TO BERATE MY FATHER. EVERYTHING BAD WAS HIS FAULT. HE DIDN’T CONTRIBUTE TO BILLS, HE CAUSED HER UNDUE STRESS AMONGST OTHER THINGS, BUT AS A YOUNG MAN I WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH MY FATHER. I AGREED HE WASN’T PERFECT, BUT HE WAS MY DAD. I WAS A MISERABLE TEENAGER. I DIDN’T FEEL HAPPY. I KNOW THAT BEING ROBBED OF SPENDING TIME WITH MY FATHER WAS A BIG PART OF MY MISERY. I BLAME MY MOTHER FOR THAT”.

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s it important to get along with your ex-partner whom you share children with after the dissolution of the relationship? Does it even matter why you broke up? The truth is, if you share children from this union, you will have to actively work at having a healthy engagement. Co-parenting amicably with your ex may be difficult but it provides much needed support for both you and your child.

Children more often than not become casualties of war when couples separate. The parent who holds custody at times decides to use their child as leverage against their partner. Unfortunately, children in such situations experience long lasting emotional scars that are often difficult to heal.

I often listen to my adult clients argue about personal matters that have nothing to do with the well being of the child. I ask parents with custody “is your ex a good parent?, I also enquire “have you given your expartner an opportunity to become a better parent?”

I am amazed and saddened by the actions that many adults perform to separate children from their other parent. Numerous studies support the benefits of having both parents actively involved in children’s lives. Such children have higher levels of emotional intelligence and therefore demonstrate a sense of security, adaptive emotional regulation, good problem-solving skills, engage in healthy peer relationships and cope better with stressors.

Parents often ask “how do I step away from the personal hurt of my partner and co-parent?. The simplest answer is to remove yourself from the equation when engaging with your ex-partner and focus on the shared responsibility for your child.

-Jason HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO ASSIST YOU: .

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Focus on your children. All good parents want what’s best for their children. Remind yourself of this. If your partner is a good parent or has the capacity to be a better parent, support them as a co-parent.

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Seek professional help in addressing your emotions as they relate to your partner. Addressing the issues surrounding the demise of the relationship may help you in your attempts to have a civil relationship with your ex-partner and may also help you heal and grow in an adaptive manner.

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Never use children as pawns in your relationship with your ex partner. Parents should not have children lie to, or withhold information from their other parent.

“My mom told me to lie about my school fees to my dad. I felt like I was robbing my father. I didn’t care that he wasn’t paying for other things. I felt like a criminal. I felt unworthy of my father’s trust or love. I spent a few days crying to my guidance counsellor at school.

I made her promise not to tell my mom how I felt and I couldn’t tell my dad because I was scared he would stop talking to me. Although I am an adult, I am still mad at my mom for this.”

-Will �

Never use your children as messengers or information hubs. Adults should discuss all matters related to their children between themselves. Children should not be given messages to transmit to their parents as this may become overwhelming and create undue stress. Children should not be interrogated about their parents either. Many children express feeling compelled to share, and experiencing overwhelming guilt when they do.

“My mom told me to ask my dad for money. I was scared. I just avoided talking to my dad altogether and stopped asking for things I needed. I wished she would ask him”.

-Cindy

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Keep your relationship issues to your self. Children lack the emotional capacity to handle the emotions being felt by their parents.

It is highly unacceptable and very

unhealthy to tell your child the negative emotions that you are experiencing towards your partner or to discuss the ‘wrongs’ that your partner has committed.

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Be Respectful. Children are affected by perceived disrespect towards their parents. Children who observe parents being disrespectful to each other are more likely to have unhealthy peer relationships. If you are unable to speak positively about your ex-partner in your children’s presence SAY NOTHING.

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Support each other. You must support your partner’s efforts at parenting. Children are often aware of the rift between parents and may try to manipulate this acrimony to their benefit. Therefore be mindful that you don’t malign the other parent. Discuss concerns outside the presence of children versus openly voicing your displeasure.

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Be Responsible. Honour your commitments to your children.

There are responsibilities attached to parenting. Assume your share willingly.

“My dad kept telling me how awful my mom was. He accused her of cheating and breaking his heart. I stopped visiting him.”

-David “My mom often spoke negatively about my step-mom. I thought she was nice, but didn’t want to betray my mom. I started having panic attacks every time I visited my dad and had to return home because I knew my mom was going to be agitated for a few days and would be critical of everything my step mom had done. I had to seek therapy when I began university to handle all the stress”.

-Kim

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ADDITIONAL TIPS

IN COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR EX-PARTNER: �

Focus on your children. Avoid having personal discussions or bringing up the past. Don’t enquire about new relationships or seek to ascertain current whereabouts.

Focus on sharing information related to your child such as academics, health, conduct, rules and methods of discipline etc.

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Talk. You must dialogue with your child’s other parent.

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Listen. Allow your partner to express their desires and concerns about your child.

empathetic approach. Do not set unreasonable standards and be willing to forgive when expectations are not met �

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Compromise. You don’t have it all right and neither does your partner. It’s a TEAM effort. Be open to suggestions and be willing to provide and accept feedback.

Be Reasonable. Try to adopt an

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�

Make requests. Don’t make DEMANDS or ORDER things to be done. Express needs and attach corresponding requests. Be willing to meet in the middle with your partner.

Remain Calm. Always engage your ex-partner in a calm manner. Never discuss matters when you’re feeling stressed or emotionally sensitive.

Share. Be willing to share special occasions such as birthdays, mother’s and father’s day, Christmas etc. Your child wants both of you present in these instances. Create a mutual agreement on how these days will be spent.

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�

Help children cope with the changes.

Encourage children to build relationships with their other parent.

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Jointly discuss decisions with your child.

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Avoid picking children up from their other parent. Allow the parent who has the child to drop the child off or meet you at a designated area. This prevents disruption of activities that the child may be engaging in and reduces resistance to separation.

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Prevent external parties from interfering in your relationship with your ex-partner. This includes extended relatives and step parents or new partners.

It’s not easy parenting with your partner after your relationship has ended, however the benefits of co-parenting, for the children involved, outweigh the inconveniences that you may experience.

Georgia holds a Masters of Science in Clinical Psychology from the University of the West Indies. She is based in St. James, and provides Psychological services to Western Jamaica. Georgia lives with her 15-year-old daughter and their pet Cocker Spaniel.

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ArtFrom The Heart Developing Your Child’s Artistic Talents

By Kai Watson, Jamaica

was introduced to art at an early age as I grew up in a house peppered with colourful paintings, life-like drawings and beautifully crafted sculptures.

Since my grandfather and parents were artists, there was no shortage of artwork to inspire me and the tools of the trade: paint, brushes, boards and easels were easily within reach of my tiny yet curious hands. My mother vividly recalls how I would happily draw and paint on everything in sight, and I was eventually given a chalkboard to temper my fondness for graffiti. Seemingly inevitable, as a very young child, I had acquired my family’s deep and profound love of art.

Fostering my creativity was second nature for my parents but you don’t have to be a professional artisan to unleash your child’s artistic talents.

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EXPOSURE

It’s easy to introduce your children to art since it is all around us. From the natural environment to buildings to common household items, your little ones always have an up close view of striking and mesmerizing objects that will entice their inner artist out of hiding.

Art shows, festivals and galleries throughout the Caribbean, are not only great options for a fun and wholesome outing with the kids, but also help to develop their creativity.

ENCOURAGEMENT

As a child, I truly believed I was creating “earth shattering” artwork because of the enthusiasm my parents would exhibit as they looked over my drawings.

I was always encouraged to express myself and have

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AS A CHILD, I TRULY BELIEVED I WAS CREATING “EARTH SHATTERING” ARTWORK BECAUSE OF THE ENTHUSIASM MY PARENTS WOULD EXHIBIT 110 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 |

fun with art. My artwork became a source of great pride and accomplishment each time I completed a piece. For young children, art offers an important tool for boosting confidence and stimulating imagination, so be sure to support them as they create whimsical images.

DISPLAYING THEIR WORK

They may be coming home with lots of artwork but be sure to put them on the wall, if only temporarily, and frame the special ones. Take photos of them and save them in a digital file if you don’t want to get buried in mounds of paper. It might not mean much to the child at the moment but when they get older seeing what they did as children can be very powerful or even humbling. Having a traceable path of progression is always a plus.

INFORMAL ART EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT

When I was younger, I would do drawings, show my father and he would teach me little "tricks" that I could try to make it easier. Ensure that you take a genuine interest in your children’s artwork. Next time, when you’re thinking about doing a family activity, consider collaborating on a drawing with your kids. You may be surprised at what you can learn from each other.

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COPYCAT!

Mimicking the work of professionals is a great way to get your child’s artistic juices flowing.

From comic book drawings to paintings to logos and even sculptures, your little ones can learn from the masters by copying their pieces and adding their own, original spin on it. No matter how trivial it may seem, remember, whatever they do artistically all adds up.

IT’S MORE THAN ART, IT’S ABOUT CREATIVE THINKING

The best thing about the creative process is that it applies to all disciplines; it is all about creative thinking! Children who are involved in a variety of activities are likely to be more skilful in their ability to solve problems creatively and generally become more rounded individuals. Encourage your youngsters to take up dance, art, music, reading, sports, science and other hobbies, and the creativity within your child will blossom and allow them to transition into almost any arena they choose.

Kai Watson is a passionate painter who is fascinated with the human form and capturing the nuances of emotions and moods. A third generation artisan, he is determined to continue building his family’s well-respected legacy whilst developing and challenging the boundaries of his own artistic talent. To view his collection of pieces, visit “The Kamana Experience” page on Facebook.

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N I I S M G S I O K O O N C E D I W D L under 14 to show off their culinary R We are looking for kids O skills to the world.

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Write down your favourite recipe that you love to cook on your own.

Tell us in a few sentences why you have chosen this as your favourite recipe.

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Send it to info@kiddify.com or apply directly on: kiddify.com/jamaica If your recipe is chosen, you get a chance to create your own cooking show, cooking your favourite recipe in front of our professional camera team.

Your video will be featured on the worldwide KIDDIFY website The cooking mission will run from October until December 2013 and winners will be announced in late December. So, calling all Culinary Kids-get your cooking gear and show us what you can do!

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Yohan Blake’s

YB Afraid Foundation .

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He transforms into a beast on the track and has obliterated many records. Plus, he's made the world's fastest man think twice about his position. His drive on the track is matched by his strong desire to impact his home country. In the cool hills of Manchester, Jamaica, Yohan Blake proves to the 30 young boys at Mount Olivet Boys Home, that you don’t have to be a daddy to be a father.

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year-old Brendan* is beyond excited. “Blakey come!” He stops just short of running to hug Yohan, then turns around to tell his friends again that Yohan was there. Typical of each visit to see the boys at Mount Olivet, Yohan’s arrival means that if even just for a short while, the boys get to share some fun time with "The Beast".

“90% of the boys receive no visitors”, says Sonia Lowe, ‘mother’ to all 30 residents at the home. “Yohan’s visits are a source of joy for the boys and the Foundation has done more for these children than just giving them stuff. The computer lab is great, but many of the children who came here without a thought of tomorrow, have created dreams and goals to work towards,” says Ms. Lowe. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, we ask a small group of young boys. “A Pastor.” “A Pilot.” “A runner man…like him.”

The YB Afraid Foundation supports organizations and develops programs that address the educational, social, physical and mental health needs of underprivileged youth in Jamaica. All the boys at Mount Olivet are from dysfunctional backgrounds and have been adjudged by the court to be juveniles in need of care and protection. Yohan started his foundation to attract support for his passion project. “These boys have a special place in my heart. I want to help young people, especially the most vulnerable - the ones with no parents or role models…they are more susceptible to peer

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BEYOND

pressure.” So many underprivileged youth grow up in circumstances that tell them that they can’t. Yohan’s passion is to see these boys mentored, and guided beyond the limitations of fear, to know that they can dream and achieve and succeed. He may not be a biological father, but as a strong father figure and an exceptional role model, he has committed himself to making a difference in the lives of these young boys. His drive and commitment .

to the children equals his drive and commitment to his career. With plans well underway to build a state-of-the-art sporting centre for the boys, Yohan and the YB Foundation are excited that the boys will soon have access to facilities that will better support their daily activities while encouraging healthy lifestyles, teamwork and discipline.

“I grew up in extreme poverty, I know how it feels to have nothing. I have always wanted to be

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in a position to give back and now that I have the opportunity to do so, I want to help young people to do great things and to achieve the unexpected.

My foundation will help Jamaica to achieve these goals.” - Yohan Blake

For more information visit WWW.YBAFRAIDFOUNDATION.ORG

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