b3 Spring 2014 - The Daddy Issue

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BUMP • BABY & BEYOND

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Islan' Dad

Adam Stewart It's Daddy Time Spring Issue 2014 • Vol.1 Issue 7

J$700 • EC$22 • US$8 • £5

Also « The Making of a Father « 'Stepping' Into Fatherhood « Escape to Iberostar

Dads on DUTY! Konshens | Sasco | Marshall

THE CARIBBEAN'S PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE • WWW.B3CARIBBEANMAGAZINE.COM


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SPRING ISSUE 2014

BUMP 14 DIAPER BAG DILEMMA Choices, Choices, Choices…For Your Ideal Diaper Bag

18 B3 MD: Dr. Thea Davis, Our Resident

OBGyn, Answers Your Pregnancy-Related Questions

19 BLISSFUL PARENTING Parenting with Elena Diedrick-Lynch

20 THE MAKING OF A FATHER

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A Dad Opens Up About His Journey To Parenthood

42 Dads on COVER STORY

Duty!

26 SPERM: THEY DO COUNT! Interesting Facts About These Little Swimmers

BABY

32 GLAMA MAMA: 2014 Trends With MAC Cosmetics

34 STEPPING INTO FATHERHOOD A Stepfather’s Side Of The Story

28 EDITOR’S PICKS FOR DADDY

40 DIARY OF A SINGLE DAD

30 BABY-WEARING BASICS

The First Journal Entry For Former ‘Cowboy’ Now Turned Single Dad

To Wear Or Not To Wear – Your Baby

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Your children make a difference in your life Protect them with KLIM®

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BUMP • BABY & BEYOND

.

Islan' Dad

Adam Stewart It's Daddy Time Spring Issue 2014 • Vol.1 Issue 7

J$700 • EC$22 • US$8 • £5

Also

« The Making of a Father « 'Stepping' Into Fatherhood « Escape to Iberostar

Dads on DUTY!

.

Konshens | Sasco | Marshall

THE CARIBBEAN'S PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE • WWW.B3CARIBBEANMAGAZINE.COM

26

BEYOND

ON THE COVER Cover : Konshens, Agent Sasco and Wayne Marshall Photography: Dwayne Watkins Location: Team DWP Studios Styling: Norma Williams Wardrobe: MaxBrown

56 B3 BOOKS

90 17 THINGS BOYS NEED FROM THEIR MOMS

58 PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

Mommy Blogger Sara Mastin Gives Mothers (& Fathers) Food For Thought

Almost Every Child Tries It. How Do We Fix It?

62 B3 ISLAN’DAD – ADAM STEWART The Caribbean’s Most Successful Young Entrepreneur Strikes Gold Again: At Home

72 I SURVIVED THE DENTIST An 8-Year-Old Overcomes A Common Fear

74 ESCAPE TO IBEROSTAR 78 MOMMY BRAIN SYNDROME I Can’t Remember…

80 DADDY TIME Meet Some Of Our Favourite Fathers In Jamaica SPRING ISSUE 2014

94 KIDS WILL BE KIDS Our Resident Pediatrician Dr. Lisa Franklin-Banton Answers Your ChildRelated Questions

96 HEALTHY VISION FOR CHILDREN London-Based International Vision Specialists For Children Share Tips On Detecting Vision Problems In Your Child

100 READY FOR THE RUNWAY Take A Peek At Spring 2014 Designs From Internationally-Acclaimed Children’s Label Imoga

104 B3 COMMUNITY A Rosier Rose Town

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Editor's NOTE

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P

roducing this issue has been an absolute joy. So much of parenting has traditionally focused on the mother, and the truth is, we honour our mothers daily. But by and large, our fathers get the tail end of the gratitude and accolades that they deserve. This issue took me on a personal journey where I took the time to analyse the relationship with the very first man in my life, my father. I looked in-depth at the foundation he set, and the significance of the role he has played in my life. From the bottom of my heart, I thank him for his integrity, his wisdom and his love. I’ve looked around me and outside of me and witnessed first hand, the importance of this one man in the life of any child. Whether he sired or raised someone else’s child, I lift my proverbial hat to every man out there who has done right by his charge. On this issue’s journey, we encountered some fantastic fathers. We brought together three kings in the dancehall, who happen to be amazing daddies. The fun we had creating this piece was enough to fill our entertainment needs for a long time! Konshens, Agent Sasco and Wayne Marshall shed their on-stage personas and showed us how they roll as Dads on Duty. Our cover story starts on page 42. We do more daddy talk from a few different angles. It doesn’t matter whether you’re married or single, whether or not you love the mother, or whether you’re raising another man’s child. The reason you’re a father is not as important as the relationship of a father. New dads, borrowed dads, married dads, single dads; all have something to say, and we’re happy to share it with you. Be sure to read all of our Daddy stories; a strong testament to the fact that there are good fathers out there. Better than good actually, great fathers! If you’re reading this, and you’re a father, kudos to you. If you’re reading this, and you know someone who is a father, share it with him. If I ever decide to write a book, it’ll be dedicated to my father. Until then, this issue is for you Daddy. I love you.

Editor-in-Chief

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Who we DWAYNE WATKINS

Photography Director If a picture says a thousand words, then Dwayne is creating a mammoth album. This photographer has the ability to connect on an emotional level with those on the other side of his camera. He produces images that wow his TeamDWP fan base the world over. Dwayne is a published international wedding & lifestyle photographer whose portfolio also includes fashion and commercial work. Visit his blog at dwaynewatkins.com. Dwayne is godfather to 6-year-old Skyler.

KIMBERLEY DUNKLEYMULLINGS

Special Projects Coordinator Kimberley has a passion for creating world class projects. She brings to the b3 team over 12 years of international experience in project management and execution. Her global vision, and genuine love for the Caribbean's growing family-interest industry, is a great complement to the b3 family. Kimberley is a proud aunt of 16-year-old nephew Jacob, and soon-to-be niece Chelsea!

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MICHELLE GORDON

Editor-in-Chief & Creative Director With a clear vision for a global child lifestyle marketplace, Michelle brings authenticity to all aspects of the parentchild bond to the page with diamondstudded style. She has over 25 years of combined experience in service, entrepreneurship and motherhood, and to that she adds a passion that gave birth to b3. Michelle is mother to 9-year-old Christian and 5-year-old Amanda.

ANGELIE SPENCER

Fashion Editor, Stylist & Makeup Artist Angelie is the Client and Marketing Manager for design label drennaLUNA. In 2010, she designed and launched The Christianna Collection, a childrenswear line, and is now Creative Director for swimsuit label “sol” by drennaLUNA. Angelie is a Fashion Contributor along with her sister and design partner, Arlene Martin, to Triple the Focus Magazine. Angelie is mother to 9-year-old Anna and 3-year-old Luke.

DWAYNE JUREIDINI

Art Director & Layout Artist Dwayne is as passionate about design as he is about perfecting that design. His ability to bring to life the vision of b3 is magical. Operating at the highest international standards, Dwayne maintains an uncompromised approach to his work. He now enters his 20th year as a designer, and credits his father with fostering his love for the creative process. Dwayne is father to 6-year-old Sarai. .

ARLENE L. MARTIN

Assistant Editor Arlene’s love of design coupled with her meticulous eye for detail has earned her the position as one of the Caribbean’s leading designers - drennaLUNA is Arlene’s passionate fulfillment of her childhood love of design and sewing. Her work as a business consultant to develop firms and industries in the region brings to the table a high standard in communications as well. Arlene is aunt to five nieces and nephews.

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Best.

Ensuring ThE VEry

Web: www.dwaynewatkins.com • Email: info@dwaynewatkins.com Follow us on Twitter and Instagram: @TeamDWP • Phone: (954) 247-4397 (US) or (876) 286-3198 (JA)


Boy O Boy Limited PUBLISHER Michelle Gordon EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Angelie Spencer FASHION EDITOR & STYLIST

Dwayne Jureidini ART DIRECTOR & LAYOUT ARTIST

Kimberley DunkleyMullings SPECIAL PROJECTS COORDINATOR

Dwayne Watkins PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR

Norma Williams CREATIVE CONSULTANT

Arlene L. Martin ASSISTANT EDITOR

Joni Wedderburn ASSISTANT RESEARCH EDITOR

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• Contributing Writers Christian-David Gordon, Gillian Whyte-Roseway, John P. Clarke, Joni Wedderburn, Kimberly Bramwell, Lisa Franklin-Banton M.D., Marc Brown, Michael Abrahams, Natasha White-Rampersad, Richard Nevers, Sara Conner, Sara Mastin, Thea Davis M.D.

Contributing Photographers: T.K. Mendez, Mark Anthony Chen

Special thanks to Brenda LaGrange Johnson American Friends of Jamaica www.theafj.org Sara Greuich Timi & Leslie www.timiandleslie.com HJ Chung Imoga Collection www.imogacollection.com Andrea Braunstein EdelmanConsulting New York

Kennady Nickell Daddy n Company www.daddyncompany.com Molanda Beersingh Taylor’d 4 Babies Kingston Jamaica Maureen Shaw Living Spaces 37 Hopefield Avenue, Kingston 6 Sophia Max-Brown Max Brown Limited 106 Hope Road (10)

Advertising Sales Messado Media Ltd. messadomedia@gmail.com

Printed in Jamaica by Pear Tree Press Telephone: (876) 926-5859 Copyright © 2013 Boy O Boy Limited. All rights reserved. This material may not be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the express prior written permission of Boy O Boy Ltd. For permission, please contact myboyoboy@gmail.com

Web: www.dwaynewatkins.com Email: info@dwaynewatkins.com Follow us on Twitter and Instagram: @TeamDWP Phone: (954) 247-4397 (US) or (876) 286-3198 (JA)


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DIAPER BAG

DILEMMA There are so many options available today when choosing a diaper bag, and everybody seems to have an opinion on which bag is best. One mother decided to end the ‘guess and spell’, and did some bag-testing, to see exactly which bag would be right for her.

By Michelle Gordon • Photography: Dwayne Watkins • Makeup by: Paul March • Wardrobe by drennaLUNA Bags Provided by Taylor'd 4 Babies, Kingston, Jamaica and Timi & Leslie, Los Angeles, CA.


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s Mommyto-be for the second time, our model, Melissa McIntosh is well aware of the importance of having the ‘right’ bag. “I read tons of articles that all gave me someone else’s opinion on which bag I should carry. As a first time mother, I listened to others.” Melissa referred to her first time around where she got a diaper bag that although nice, just wasn’t exactly what she wanted. “This time around, I decided to try a few options, before making my decision.” Timi & Leslie® is now one of Melissa’s favourite brands. “First and foremost, their bags are very attractive. I don’t have to be changing my handbag each time I head out the door, whether or not I have the baby with me.” Melissa had five Timi & Leslie® bags to choose from. “I’m a blue kinda girl! Their new Abby in Ocean Blue was an easy choice for me. Every Timi & Leslie® bag comes outfitted with all the accessories any mother could need, so for me, my decision came down to my personal taste. I love this bag because the colour is very practical - it can ‘go with’ a lot of what’s already in my closet, and the fabric is very soft and easy to clean.”

“I’M A BLUE KINDA GIRL! THEIR NEW ABBY IN OCEAN BLUE, WAS AN EASY CHOICE FOR ME."

Thanks to Timi & Leslie -Los Angeles CA., and Taylor’d 4 Babies Kingston, Jamaica, for providing diaper bags for the photo shoot.

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Abby in Ocean Blue $179.99

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Stroller straps in use

Changing Pad with mesh pocket to store diapers

Insulated Bottle Warmer Tote

Stylish Clutch

Matching stroller straps

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Adjustable Detachable straps

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Zippered Sac for Soiled Clothes

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by Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis MBBS, DM (OB-GYN), Jamaica Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis is our Consultant Obstetrician and Gynecologist who answers your questions and addresses your concerns on medical matters pertaining to bumps, babies and beyond. Dr. Davis is mother to 4-year-old Imani. She is an avid reader who, like all our contributing writers, has a passion for children and parenting. Dr. Davis lives in Mandeville, and practices in both Kingston and Mandeville, Jamaica. Send your questions to info@b3caribbeanmagazine.com

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My baby’s cord is wrapped around her neck. What does this mean for delivery? I want to have her naturally.

A loop of umbilical cord around your baby’s neck is called a nuchal cord and is a common finding at delivery. The formation of nuchal cords may be a random event and/or related to excessive movement of your baby or a long umbilical cord. The natural history of nuchal cords is unclear. They may form at any time, however, depending on how early it occurs it may disentangle and possibly reform or may persist. Its occurrence does not preclude a normal delivery, however,

once a diagnosis close to term is established, close monitoring of your baby’s heart rate using a special monitor is essential whilst you are in labour to detect any abnormalities, which may imply that your baby is in jeopardy resulting in the need for a possible Caesarean section.

Is there anything that I can do to ensure that my baby scores high on the APGAR test?

The APGAR test is performed immediately at the time of delivery at one and five minutes of age. This test evaluates how best your baby tolerated the birthing process and how well they can do on their own once born. At the time of birth the health care provider who receives your baby will examine breathing effort, heart rate, muscle tone, reflexes and skin color. Each category is scored with 0, 1, or 2, depending on the observed condition. Ninty percent of all neonates have APGAR scores of 7 to 10, and generally require no further intervention. Newborns with lower scores may require further evaluation and intervention which may include: oxygen

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and clearing out the airway to help your baby breathe and physical stimulation to get the heart beating at a healthy rate. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can physically do to ensure that your baby has a high score. However, sometimes during labour we can predict the possibility of the baby having a low APGAR. In such cases we ensure that a Paediatrician or experienced midwife is present at the time of delivery to effectively resuscitate the newborn. A lower Apgar score does not mean your child will have serious or long-term health problems and is not designed to predict the future health of your child.

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BLISSFUL PARENTING with Elena Diedrick-Lynch Imagine a world where parenting is taught in school, and then you’re handed an operations manual the moment you’ve delivered your baby! Now wake-up, and instead of dreaming, ask our Blissful Mummy all the things you want and need to know to get through those pesky parenting moments. Send your questions and comments to blissfulmummy@b3caribbeanmagazine.com

My 4-year-old daughter has lost interest in Dora and only has eyes for Jessie! My other daughters are 7 and 9, so they watch Jessie, and by virtue of that, my ‘ baby’ sees it as well. I don’t think this is appropriate, but how do I do this peacefully? They all get along so well, I really don’t want to have to split up their time together, plus that’s also when I get a break.

Dear Mummy…First of all let me say I feel your pain. I'm in a similar boat in that my almost 5-year-old thinks she's 10 and has recently migrated from the traditional Nick Jr and Tree House to Disney Jr. This is fine on a Saturday morning but on weekday afternoons their programming is more for the 7+ crowd. I would implement a few things. With three girls you have a lot on your hands and hormones running rampant - get your older girls in on the discussion. Give them a voice and let them be a part of creating the solution. Explain to them how important it is that they get "Sister Time" and have them come up with suggestions that are age appropriate that need little supervision so you can kill two birds and get your break. How about setting up painting in the yard or chalk sketching in the carport? Craft-oriented activities allow them all to take part and give the TV a break during Jessie. Once they have their "Sister Time" they can help each other get cleaned up and sit down to watch something appropriate for all three of them. Alternatively, you could remove your four year old from the dynamic for the 25 minutes of the Jessie show and have that be your "Mummy and Me" time and then let her return to her big sisters when Jessie has finished so she can still have her "Sister time" and you still get your break.

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What is the appropriate age to discuss finances with my children?

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As a child, my mother took me to the bank to open my first bank account at six years old. It was a special trip that I’ll never forget. Nowadays I find children able to process concepts long before we think they’re ready. Teach to their potential and not to their limitations as a friend of mine in education says. Once the child is exposed to the information they’ll process it in their own time. I would suggest introducing the concept of money and how we save and how we spend as early as 3-years-old depending on the child. I felt it important to have those conversations as early as possible in an effort to diffuse potential tantrums at the supermarket. I also found it helpful to reinforce the importance of saving when we started receiving the unending “I want to go to Disney Land” pleas. Explaining in an age appropriate manner that we save towards goals and spend what we need to ensure we live within our means is an important lesson to teach our children. On her third birthday, we gave our oldest daughter a wallet and she was excited to be able to have small amounts of money (paper notes and coins). It really gave her more of a tangible understanding of how it all works. From there we discussed how we earn money and how we take portions out for household purposes and then save the rest. I’ve always been a firm believer in the earlier the better with topics like this. That being said I would urge parents to steer clear of off loading the stresses and burdens of your family finances with your young children in a manner that will make them worry. We really are yet to fully comprehend how much our children understand the subtle issues around them and how they digest and process them. There’s nothing wrong with imparting a sense of Need versus Want with children, in that your child presents you with something (a toy, book etc.) that they want and we help them determine whether it's that they need it or they want it. A need is something we should meet with urgency and a want is simply a desirable item we would like at some point so it holds less of a sense of urgency and can be put off for a special occasion.

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There is a new generation of men who are redefining fatherhood. We are unwilling to accept the role of mere sperm donors or absentee providers. We too, yearn to shape the minds and hearts of our children, cementing a solid foundation.

The Making of a Father By Richard Nevers

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y socialisation as a child was probably impacted most significantly by the relationship I shared with my father: a strict, proud, principled professional whose expectations of his son mirrored the ambition a master pursues with his protégé. I remember at 9 years old approaching my father, arms outstretched in anticipation of some gesture of comfort, and being greeted instead with a lecture. While I can’t recall much of what he said, I won’t soon forget the words, “I’m raising a man, not a boy” with which he represented

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his charge as a father. I couldn’t understand at the time the profound lesson he was attempting to impart by way of this cruel rejection, but in retrospect I can appreciate that he considered “responsibility” to be the distinguishing quality of an adult. His role was to prepare me for adulthood by forcing me to confront my own issues and take responsibility for their resolution. Today I recall that confrontation with gratitude. I also remember as a young boy thinking just how I’d be as a father. Not the average thoughts for a 9 or 10 year-old-boy, but I clearly remember dreaming of ways

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GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BE CALLED DADDY, I WOULD RISE TO THE OCCASION. I WOULD SING TO MY CHILD, PLAY WITH MY CHILD, AND GROW WITH MY CHILD. that I could be better. As a teenager wrought with the complexities synonymous with that age, I knew that given the chance to be called Daddy, I would rise to the occasion. I would sing to my child, play with my child, and grow with my child. I planned to be there, to be present, for my child. I was 21 years old when my then girlfriend alighted from the bathroom of our little flat in Mona with a nervous expression on her beautiful face and announced that the pink symbol appearing in the middle of the small white tablet she held in her hand, meant that she was carrying our child. My first response, entirely on instinct, was to say ‘thank you’. The opportunity of my dreams had presented itself, albeit a few years early by some opinions, but it was here. And I was ready. Or so I thought. now had to assume the responsibility of a father, of guiding a wandering perspective along a focused path and serving the needs and interests of a dependent life. The identity of the man my father was raising me to be was now quite literally taking shape in utero, and at 2:53pm on November 25, 1998 Imani Natasha was born, and passion found its purpose. My mandate was clear; I married the expectant mother of my child only six months after we met. To me, I was confirming my commitment to her and to our unborn child. Failure was not an option. Never was, never will be. So like a soldier eager for battle, I charged full speed ahead and I did it all. I read every book imaginable, and I don’t think I ever missed a Lamaze class. It would probably be .

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easier for me to name the books and articles I didn’t read in my quest for guidance on this unfamiliar journey. I learned the ultracool football hold, which I later modified into a source of great entertainment for my little Imani. I learned many things, and came face to face with my own demons. Mine was the challenge to rise above any natural tendencies. And while there is the thought (however factual it may be) that boys mature slower than girls, I do believe that girls are predisposed to learning responsibility sooner than boys. During puberty, when girls embark on menstrual cycles, they are taught (inadvertently or not) to become responsible for themselves. They get monthly reminders and are usually guided accordingly. This isn’t to say that boys aren’t taught personal responsibility, but the truth is, our voices change, and our toys become more expensive - that’s about it. Although we were happy, there were challenges. Imani’s birth was a joy to both of us, but to make a long story interesting, my wife and I separated in our third year of marriage and finally called it quits 4 years after we started out. I believe that at 22, my unpreparedness to abandon the frivolity of boyhood, and to embrace the responsibilities of manhood, proved to be too much for such a young marriage. ut one thing remained constant. I was still Imani’s father. She was four years old and I had no idea what the end of my marriage would mean for my relationship with her. I faced the inevitable consequences of divorce and custody, which for me, brought a new set of challenges as my daughter and

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her mother migrated to another country. To say I was depressed would be putting it mildly. I was devastated. I failed. I failed my wife, my father, my God, myself and my child. How would I continue being a father to my child? When could I do this? Where? My wife and I discussed our divorce and settled an arrangement under which Imani would spend summers and every other Christmas in Jamaica with me. Satisfactory? No, but I knew that the restrictions presented to me could not be the basis for an absentee relationship with my daughter. Imani is the love of my life. She is still in my life and I’m still in hers, and in that relationship was the opportunity for me to be for her what she needed in a father. No time to waste, on with fatherhood. At the time of our divorce, I was still a student, so plane fares and high phone bills were a challenge. But Imani needed to hear from and see me, and I wanted the same. I was invested in the well being of this little girl from whom I wanted nothing, except to know that she was okay. We spoke as often as possible, at least several times each week, and our visits together were always special. Imani was 5 years old when she first came to stay with me as a single dad, and suddenly, summer holidays felt like Christmas for me. I got the

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHILDHOOD AND ADULTHOOD IS RESPONSIBILITY.

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gift of my baby’s presence, and each time she visited, I did what I had to do to bond with her, because soon she’d be gone again. Today, Imani is a beautiful, well-adjusted 15-year-old who has taught, and continues to teach me how to be a father. he has taught me the meaning of true love. It’s a loaded word, filled with so many other words, but in loving my daughter, I honour my duty to protect, guide, and provide for her. It is my role to do so. I am in love with my daughter. She has taught me to be a friend without blurring the lines of parenthood and friendship. As her friend, I want her to see me as someone with whom she can share anything: a confidante who might be able to lend a useful perspective. Both roles are inextricably intertwined and are pursued with love. And in that love: that pure, unconditional, unselfish and unrelenting love, the relationship between us is nurtured and developed to serve, principally, her needs and interests. I learned that the difference between childhood and adulthood is responsibility. Having it, accepting it, and living it. I’ve added my distinctive style and flavour to how I parent Imani, and I think my father would be proud. I learned that the journey to fatherhood never ends. It’s a process that begins in our hearts and minds, is fed by our circumstances and socialising, and grows by the experiences we face. As my daughter grows and evolves, so do I, and I’m always cognizant of the fact that someday, she too will rely on the memories we make today to form the basis of her relationships tomorrow.

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SPERM: THEY DO COUNT! By Joni Wedderburn

The egg gets all the glory with people constantly discussing the never-ending “chicken versus egg” debate, and once they get older it’s time to obsess about their precious “nest egg”. While everyone’s gushing over the egg, the sperm who, might I add, are equally important in the whole ‘continuation of the human race’ scheme, end up being ridiculed; from its mistaken identity as hair gel in the movie “There’s Something About Mary” to becoming crime scene evidence on Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress during the “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” scandal (we haven’t forgotten Bill). Sperm have just become the go-to raunchy punch line. It’s not that we’re asking you to walk on egg shells for the sperm’s sake but they deserve some respect. .

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SPRING ISSUE 2014


BETCHA DIDN'T KNOW...

W

e think it’s finally time for you guys to get your facts in order about semen (the liquid containing sperm) and sperm (a.k.a. the male reproductive cells).

THE ORIGINAL SURVIVOR Even after getting lost, sperm can survive in a woman’s body for up to two days. .

GOOD TO GO Lost a testicle? No problem! To compensate, the remaining testicle will grow a little bigger to increase sperm production.

STORE IN A COOL PLACE

WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE

The testicles, where the sperm cells are made, is usually 7 degrees Fahrenheit cooler than the rest of the body.

During in-vitro fertilisation, technicians can implant dead or live sperm into the egg; all that’s needed is the sperm’s DNA to create a bouncing baby.

JUST A SPOONFUL Actually more like ½ a teaspoon equals the average amount of semen ejaculated.

STIFF COMPETITION Even though there are about 200 million sperm in semen, 400 actually survive after a man ejaculates, 40 make it to the egg and of course, only one gets the coveted prize.

WHAT’S ‘NORMAL’ ANYWAY? A staggering 90% of sperm cells are abnormal; sperm with 2 heads, 2 tails, or overgrown heads are pretty common.

ARE WE THERE YET? Sperm cells aren’t very good with directions since only ½ know how to swim in a straight line while the others wander around in circles, or the lazy ones just go with the flow of the semen.

SHOP NUH LOCK! Unlike women, who eventually run out of eggs, men produce semen throughout their life but the quality of sperm goes downhill as they go up in age.

IT’S NOT YOU IT’S ME Though there’s a ‘natural’ inclination to suspect women are the source of fertility problems, 35% - 40% of the time, the issue lies with the man: ranging from low sperm count to slow sperm to problems with the semen. So there you have it, all the errrrr ‘hard’ facts on semen and sperm. Fellows, if you want to ensure your sperm cells are happy and healthy, stop smoking, cut back on the drinking, watch your weight, exercise but don’t overdo it, and take your vitamins! If you’re having any problems getting pregnant with your partner, talk to your doctor to get things checked out.

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Baby

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Editor's Picks! for Daddy

The most awesome thing about being a dad is that it takes very little effort to be cool. In the eyes of a child, Daddy is the ultimate hero, and can do no wrong. Father's Day is a long way off, but it's our daddy issue, so we're celebrating regardless! There are so many great accessories that make life both fun and functional for dad. Here are a few of my favourites – each one serving its purpose, and at the same time, reminding Daddy of his!

“I’m the Daddy” frame They grow up so fast! Capture the moment and frame it in this handcrafted and hand-finished “I’m the Daddy” frame! It is made from select fine woods, with full velvet back, two-way easel stand and wall hangers. Size: 5x7 • Dark Walnut Finish • Wood Frame with “I’m The Daddy” Engraving www.daddyncompany.com $15.95

The DaddySwag Gift Box Treat the new dad in your life like the celebrity he is with The DaddySwag Gift Box filled with great I’m The Daddy branded accessories - tee shirt, baseball cap, sunglasses and other fun items. And when the big day arrives, turn up your delivery room swag with your DaddyScrubs! You’ll be dressed for the occasion, and ready to welcome the reason you can say “I’m The Daddy”!!! www.daddyncompany.com $69.95

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SPRING ISSUE 2014


I Love Daddy Tie Everyone knows the quintessential gift for every dad is a new tie! The bright I Love Daddy Tie is made of 100% woven silk. Each tie comes in a special keepsake box, complete with the quote, “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.” Give daddy a tie from DaddyScrubs; he is sure to treasure this gift forever. www.daddyncompany.com $29.95

BabyPing You’re an on-the-go-Dad, but you want to stay connected to your baby at home. Here’s how to keep your baby in the palm of your hand. Your life is already full of baby products – why do you want to add another bundle of items? BabyPing helps you streamline your life with just a simple baby monitor and your iOS device. No chargers, no bulky handheld units, no spare batteries, and no computers are required to use BabyPing. The BabyPing app is always monitoring your baby, even when you cannot see it – allowing you to use your iOS device how you want to: on Twitter, playing games, listening to music – the BabyPing app auto-switches to the best possible monitoring mode whatever you do.

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www.babyping.com $199.99

The DadGear Messenger Calling all dads! New dads, old dads, soon-to-be dads... Show the world that you’re the coolest, suavest, diaper-bag-toting dad around! The DadGear Messenger Bag is a diaper bag that Dad will proudly carry. Styled like a bike messenger bag, it's comfortable, durable, and looks cool too. On the inside, it’s packed with thoughtful features like the convenient baby wipes window, and it’s designed to be “hands-free” so you can change, feed, and entertain your child without ever having to set the bag down. dadgear.com $79

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Baby

BabyWearing Basics By Natasha White-Rampersad, Jamaica

Soon after having my baby, I yearned for a way to get out and get some fresh air and exercise while bonding with my newborn. Since I don’t live in a stroller-friendly neighborhood, I was immediately drawn to the idea of carrying him, or “baby-wearing” as it’s called. After all, so many of our ancestors couldn’t be wrong, right?

.

I

did some research, bought a carrier, and off we went! I’ll always remember those special early months, walking with him snuggled against my chest, singing to him and leaning over to inhale his intoxicating sweet baby smell. It was wonderful knowing that he was being soothed, and regulating his own breathing and movements by the rhythm of my breathing, heartbeat and footsteps. He was learning valuable lessons in socialisation and soon knew to expect an exchange of greetings between mommy and the persons we encountered. I loved the fact that he was getting some fresh air too. The fact that he would have a fabulous nap after each early morning walk was an added bonus!

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"WEARING MY BABY: IT’S THE SWEETEST, MOST JOYFUL PART OF MY DAY."

T

oday, 30 pounds, 3 carrier styles, and 18 months later, I’m still wearing my baby on walks several times a week. Nowadays he only gets in after he’s exhausted his little legs walking as far as he can go. He prefers to be positioned on my back, “jockeystyle” where he’s able to happily give fist-bumps and wave to the friends we pass along our journey. We chat and sing together, pointing out the trees, cars, and birds. It’s the sweetest, most joyful part of my day.

1.

DO:

Find a carrier that’s right for you and your baby. There is a wide variety of baby carrier styles available on the market with some made right here in the Caribbean! Styles range from cloth sling and traditional Chinese mei-tai styles to more structured soft carriers. Consider what style will work best for you and, what style will allow your baby’s hips and spine to be positioned best. If possible, try them out before you buy one.

2.

Practice putting baby in and out of the carrier: Use another person, a mirror and a bed to become familiar with taking your baby in and out of the carrier safely.

CARRIERS DIFFER BY SEVERAL FACTORS:

3.

Make sure that the baby is comfortably positioned with a clear airway: Baby’s airway should be clear with adequate airflow. Their head should not be positioned with their chin against their chest as this can potentially constrict their airway. Check this often!

4.

Inspect the carrier before each use: Make sure that the fabric is free from fraying and that any fasteners or clasps are in good condition each time you use the carrier.

2.

Handle hot items when carrying your baby.

ˏˏ The minimum and maximum size of baby that can be accommodated: Most carriers can carry between 7lbs (sometimes with an extra newborn insert) and up to 45 lbs. ˏˏ The position in which baby can be carried: Some carriers allow baby to be positioned with their head towards you, and/or head facing outward (only when baby is able to support their head independently). Some also allow for side and back carry positions. ˏˏ The way the carrier distributes baby’s weight on you: Ideally, look for a carrier that distributes the weight evenly between both shoulders and around your waist. This will minimise potential shoulder and back strain, thus allowing you to carry your baby longer and in a more neutral, comfortable position. ˏˏ The material: Fortunately for those of us in hot climates, there are slings available

1.

DON’T :

Do any activity that exposes your baby to harmful bouncing or jarring motions or puts you at increased risk of falling.

that come in comfortable cotton or performance moisturewicking fabrics to keep both you and baby dry and comfortable. .

Natasha White-Rampersad is a registered health care professional (Occupational Therapist) and is usually not recognised unless she is wearing her baby.

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2014 Trends for the

b3 Glama Mama by Kimberly Bramwell

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M

others often have the busiest and most arduous schedules. Whether they’re preparing to have a child, just had a child, or they’re taking care of the children, every mother deserves to feel good about her appearance. The Spring/Summer 2014 season switches up makeup trends from maximal, matte, structured drama to embracing minimal, dewy, feminine beauty, helping women to radiate glamour during all stages of motherhood: whether you have a bump, whether baby has arrived, or if you’re beyond that with the little ones already running around. Here are some tips on achieving these trends:

FOR YOUR BUMP

Expecting mothers can enhance their own organic glow by embracing this Boho Chic trend that requires minimal effort. Focus on dewy skin by keeping skin well moisturised. Enhance your natural beauty by using Color Correctors (CCs), which enhance & illuminate while protecting skin from the sun's damaging UV rays. Get rid of under eye circles by canceling out skin's undertones in problem areas whilst enlightening dull skin.

AFTER BABY ARRIVES

Taking time out to be glamorous might seem tedious for Moms with newborns. Create effortless glamour enhancing your natural beauty once again by using Color Correctors (CCs). The "No Makeup" makeup trend is a no-brainer for new mothers with little time. Some CCs can be used by themselves or along with concealer and / or foundation. Finish face with subtle bursts of pastels & keep lips neutral for a conservative/ daytime look or add a pop of color for a bolder/evening look.

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AND BEYOND

Trendy Moms looking for a change from their regular beauty regime, can recreate fresh Haute Couture makeup, by applying highlighter in ways that make the face appear contoured. By strategically placing highlighter on areas such as the centre of the nose or cheekbones, the face will have an illusion of being contoured without having to contour. Highlighting the cupid's bow of the upper lip, will make lips appear fuller or pouty. A wash of iridescent whites (with duo chrome of pinks) give lids a dewy freshness that screams femininity. White eyeliner can be used to wake up tired eyes. Manipulate light by adding clear gloss & shimmer to eyelids, causing them to reflect makeup in a Vogue fashion. For this trend, use shades of white, platinum, silver & white gold to stimulate delicacy and exaggerate your own natural features by reflecting light. So, whether you're on your way to football practice, an early morning business meeting, or the doctor's office for your newborn's check-up, you should take the time to pamper yourself a little and look glamorous. The best part is you can do all this and more, without spending too much time on your makeup routine. When shopping for products, think outside the box. Don’t be afraid to experiment, and if you need any help making your decision, don’t be afraid to ask! Hope these tips help make you look & feel glam - you deserve it! b3 Recommends MAC's Flowers of Fantasy Collection - simply perfect! Initially a self-taught makeup artist, Kimberly Bramwell strives to help beauty exude from each person she encounters. Whether for a special occasion, fashion show or photo shoot, Kimberly aims to make her clients look and feel their personal best. Once they feel beautiful, Kimberly’s job is accomplished. She believes that beauty exists in everyone, no matter what complexion, ethnicity or sex. Kimberly continues to grow as a makeup artist while working for a prestigious makeup brand, and instructing at D’Marie School of Makeup Artistry.

SPRING ISSUE 2014


Every little girl dreams of being a dancer,

but some put their dreams In Motion

.

In Motion Dance & Fitness Centre

.

77 Shortwood Road, Kingston 8

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876-924-7491

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danceinmotion.ja@gmail.com


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SPRING ISSUE 2014


Stepping Into Fatherhood The 10 Rules of Being .

a Stepfather

By John P. Clarke, Jamaica

Just over one year into my marriage with step-children I am looking back on a year of trials, failures and successes. I did not have any children myself and as such had to learn a few lessons: some of them the hard way. I had to learn that there is a major difference between natural parents and step-parents: natural parents interact with their children because they love them from the day the children are born. For step-parents, it is the opposite – the love is the result of the interactions. This has important consequences and can be confusing, because even if you never had children you have a view on families; on the roles of the different members of the family, and on how things should be.

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Baby

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For other men who are facing the same situation, I summarise my experiences in the ten rules of being a step-father. I have to write from my perspective: a man who marries a woman with children, and then they all live together. I assume a woman marrying a man with children has some similarities but every case is unique. Also, my wife has children of different ages, so I can speak for a range of ages.

1.

There Are No Shortcuts: The relation with

your wife can get very strong very quickly. There are feelings, excitement of a common future and the physical attraction, all of which create a very strong bond from very early in the relationship. However, the relationship with her children grows much slower, like with any person whom you befriend. Friendship grows as a result of hundreds of interactions. This is important because becoming a step-father does not imply for the children, that they will see you as a father, especially not in terms of having authority over them. This will only happen through time, and even if you do everything for them as if you were the father or guardian, the influence you have is limited and grows very slowly. So be patient.

2.

Don’t Take It Personal: At one stage you

will hear “you are not even my real father”. It is a statement that can be hurtful because, yes, they are not your biological children, but you

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do anything for them and can feel unappreciated. However, the sentence also summarises a central part of the relationship between step-father and child. There is no biological link and no guarantee for a good relationship. It has to be built from scratch through mutual respect and depends largely on the behaviour of both parties. You can do anything for the children, but it will influence their affection very little. The bond can and will grow, but it will do so at a very slow pace.

3.

Forget Bribes: You can try to bribe them

with nice presents but it will not change much. They take the new iPad, and will happily ignore you when you tell them to go to bed. However, as you do things as a family and become part of their normal environment, they will start to trust you and they will want to spend time with you. At that stage they will also accept you putting in some limits.

SPRING ISSUE 2014


WORLDWIDE COOKING MISSION We are looking for kids under 14 to show o their culinary skills to the world. write down your favourite recipe that you love to cook on your own tell us in a few sentences why you have chosen this as your favourite recipe

.

send it to info@kiddify.com The cooking mission will run from January until April 2014 and winners will be announced in May. So, calling all Culinary Kids: Get your cooking gear and show us what you can do!

Win up to $ 250 You can get a chance to create your own cooking show and win up to $ 250 in cash and prizes! If your recipe is chosen, you get a chance to create your own cooking show, cooking your favourite recipe in front of our professional camera team. Your video will be featured worldwide on kiddify.com

kiddify.com


Baby

4.

Don’t Fool Yourself: Be careful with trying

to educate them. Again, you have very little influence on their education, especially in terms of setting limits or being the authoritative figure. If things go out of control the biological parent needs to take over.

5.

Don’t Lose Your Pants (Completely): It

is important that you don’t let yourself be undermined. You have views and values and you want to pass them on to the children. At the same time, your influence is restricted and your wife has been parenting them for their whole life. She has the final word. However, if you ask them to do something and your wife, the holder of final authority, overrules you constantly, it will get even worse. It is important that you and your wife act as a team. .

6.

Have Your Wife Join The Team: Women

who have been single mothers and run a household with children are usually strong persons who are used to having things their way. This is even more the case if it involves their children. However, you have chosen to be her equal partner, not one more child, so the two of you have to find a middle ground. It is hard for her to let go of decisions she would have taken alone before, but it is important that the family is headed jointly.

7.

Take It Easy: Again, relationships grow over

time, so there is no point in forcing it. Especially if there is more than one child it is likely that your relationship with them will strengthen at different speeds. Children are just different in the way they establish trust and closeness, so it is important to not try to rush it. Younger children can bond very quickly but even in that case it will take time until they fully accept you. Children can detect if you are overly nice and try too hard, so just be yourself and let time work. The mutual love between you and the children is the result of your interactions, not the other way round.

8.

in their lives, so get your own connection and don’t try to take someone else’s.

9.

You Lose: If you have a fight with the

children or they are acting up on you, forget trying to win the argument. You are the stranger who sleeps in mummy’s bed, so you have to give them a break. Again, this will change with time but especially at the beginning you have to adjust to them, not the other way.

10.

Listen To Your Wife: This is good

advice regardless, but more so with respect to the kids. Yes, you are smart and you have your views on education and parenting but the truth is she’s a pro and you are not. A final rule would be to ‘apply with care’. The ten rules should be useful but don’t forget that every family and every child is different. I have been lucky, getting close to my step-children and benefiting from the support of my wife. But at the end of the day, chemistry cannot be changed and every child is different. Also, truth be told, the rules are easier said than applied. A lot will depend on your relationship with your wife, making rule number 10 the one you should remember. If you manage to form a team you will both benefit tremendously. She will have a partner to support her and a guardian she can trust for her children. You will have a deep, loving relationship with your ‘children’. As I joke with my friends, I got all of that without changing one diaper in my entire life. John P. Clarke is step-father to his wife’s 4 children.

Don’t Compete: You are not

their father and you should not try to be him. If they have the luck to be in contact with their father, be supportive. If you live with them, you are the lucky one anyway as you will spend a lot of time together and you will build a strong relationship. You have to follow this rule even if the relationship with their father and your wife is bad, or if you think he is not being a good father to them. Children can have many important relationships

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Baby

Diary of a Single .

By Marc Brown

I

31-11-13

t’s 9a.m. Saturday morning and I am getting dressed to go to the airport. Ironing my crushed polo shirt seems harder today. A thousand thoughts are circling in my head and I am conscious of the clock. My son is coming to Jamaica to live with me, alone…. a single man in a bachelor pad, a regular on the social scene and even a party promoter. Last night I consumed every minute of the after work lyme and buried it. What an adjustment…I AM A SINGLE DAD. My head now feels heavy, so heavy that the structure of my 16 inch neck seems impossible to bear it and commands assistance from my shoulders. JAH KNOW STAR! A WHAH DIS! I have done this before as the relationship with my son’s mother had met its demise when he was only 10 months old. My first go at solitary parenting was when he was 11 months old and again before he was two years old, and the longest stint when he had just passed his second birthday. Then, my son, Marc-Anthony, was my sole responsibility to care for, but only for a maximum of two months. Interestingly, this time was manageable as I had some inherited meticulousness that made duties more like enjoyable tasks. I fed him

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when he needed to be fed, bathed him and ensured that the requisite play time was inter-mixed and then time would come to say good bye and off he would go on the flight and my life as a single 33-year-old would continue. This time, he is returning as a three-and-a–halfyear-old rambunctious boy, with an obvious soul and a personality to match, the one I would hear unfold when I made my calls to his home in New York. Now as I drive, the roads are unrecognisable and merge into each other seamlessly, I am on autopilot. My car takes me onto the road enveloping the Palisadoes spit but the view of the Harbour does not have the calming effect that I need. I am at Arrivals and I see him; my son Marc-Anthony with his aunt and his suitcase. As we pull away from the curb, I notice his increased vocabulary, his strong opinions, his likes and dislikes and realise this is no longer a child to only be fed and cleaned but an individual to guide and mold. I have to hit the ground running at Bolt-speed. Prep school, football, swimming, nutrition, morals, religion, are all a massive word-cloud in my mind’s eye. This is the beginning of the next four years, one day at a time…

SPRING ISSUE 2014


.

Be careful who you let into your home.

TV

A

Protect Your Children from Harmful Content.

YOUR PARTNER FOR A NEW DAY

TV

TV

TV

TV

GENERAL AUDIENCE

PARENTAL GUIDANCE

ADULT

X-RATED

G

PG

A

X


By Michelle Gordon Photography: Dwayne Watkins Styling: Norma Williams Wardrobe: Max Brown Limited .

Disengaged fatherhood has long been a source of discussion in many circles. While mothers have been the front-runners often carrying the weight of her family, real life experiences and numerous studies continue to affirm the important role of a father in the healthy development of children.

T

here is an increase of father participation in the lives of their children. Perhaps, a marginal gain on a global scale, but in the lives of the associated children, that’s a significant victory. It’s been a long time coming, but change is finally in effect. Today’s fathers are more involved and more passionate about parenting than ever before. Socioeconomic backgrounds aside, many fathers are standing up and being counted among those responsible for raising their children. In this issue we venture into the dancehall and sit with 3 of Jamaica’s most prolific entertainers: Konshens, Agent Sasco and Wayne Marshall. Each of them commands an impressive following far beyond the shores of their island home. Sold-out stage shows and trending songs on iTunes may define their lives for work, but today the spotlight shines differently on them as they report for duty.

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KONSHENS

SPRING ISSUE 2014


.

AGENT SASCO

WAYNE MARSHALL


Beyond

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G

arfield Spence is daddy to 6-year-old Sajhi. He’s attentive to a fault, and has a soft spot for his daughter’s sad face. While he tries to be a staunch disciplinarian most of the time, he admits to being nothing but putty in her hands. And though he knows when to put his foot down, all she has to do is cry to completely shatter his heart. Garfield is better known as Konshens, and everyday he maneuvers the challenge of being one of the dancehall’s most desired men, and being a doting daddy to his only child. Tough to do? By some standards, maybe, but Konshens doesn’t follow what is ‘standard’. At 29, this young entertainer has been dubbed the ‘new face of dancehall music’ by many, and has already received several nominations and a host of awards. That’s far from standard. “I don’t operate on, or below par, in anything that I do”, says Konshens. Being a father in Jamaica’s dancehall community may easily be overlooked as the ‘norm’ – whether or not he accepts the responsibility that comes with the title. “For me, becoming a father”, explains Konshens, “had nothing to do with popular opinion or John Public. I knew that the only choice I had, was to be there, to be present, for my child.” “I have 6 years of parenting under my belt, and it has been 6 good years. Sahji has a great mother who makes my job of being a father real easy. It’s uncomplicated and stress-free; we have our daughter's well-being in mind.” Demonstrating wisdom and maturity far beyond his years, Konshens speaks candidly about the influence his daughter has had on his life. “I’ve always been driven and ambitious, but my daughter has amplified all of that tenfold. She also softened my heart towards women - I can’t even tell a lie anymore,” says Konshens as he laughs. Knowing full well the responsibility that rests on his shoulders as the first man in Sahji’s life, Konshens believes that the teachings and discipline in the home, are what sets the parameters within which his daughter will operate. His parenting style draws a clear line between what is for adults, and what is for kids. “Just like when I was younger, it was challenging then too, because there is no way to completely shelter kids from adult content in music or movies. It is everywhere. But even more so now, because we have the ‘internet‘ to deal with, so it’s ten times worse. The fact that I sing

SPRING ISSUE 2014

THE FACT THAT I SING

SONGS WITH ADULT CONTENT DOES NOT AFFECT MY APPROACH TO PARENTING MY DAUGHTER.

.

songs with adult content does not affect my approach to parenting my daughter. If you’re a mother or father, be a “parent” regardless. Protect your child, while preparing their minds for the realities you cannot protect them from. The songs I sing, and the videos I make involve fully-grown adult women. What is for adults is for adults, and what is for kids is for kids!” With a career on a meteoric rise that is characterised by long hours in studio, days on end away on tour, managing other artistes, and building his shoe line; spending quality time with Sahji cannot be easy to achieve. “No, it’s not easy”, Konshens explains. “To be real, I don’t think I’ve been able to find that balance yet, but I really do try. Everything that I have on my plate, is extremely demanding. My shoe line is blowing up internationally, and I’m at a very exciting place in my life,” says Konshens as he discreetly reveals the latest design from his Konz line of men’s shoes. Smiling, he continues, “For Sahji, I do all I can to make sure every single thing she needs is totally taken care of. When we’re together, I make the very best of each moment I spend with her. Just being in her presence, doing ‘anything’ is perfect for me - except when she drop asleep,” he laughs. When she’s awake, Daddy fills many

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Beyond

.

roles – protector, friend, playmate, teacher and confidante. “Six-year-old girls have little secrets, and I keep them all,” shares Konshens. “I want my daughter to know that she can trust me, and this is where it starts.” Sahji is a girly girl. She loves all things pretty and pink, and while Daddy may eventually have his dreams for her future, right now, he just wants her to be happy. The best advice he could give to his daughter to encourage her to achieve her best? “There is so much; definitely not just one thing that will automatically make her into the best person she can be. I like to take it step-by-step, and situation-by-situation. That’s the best way, for me, to shape her outlook on life. I’m doing my best to protect her where I can, and educate her where I can. She’s a bright girl, who already knows how to think for herself. My role, like any other responsible father, is to guide my child.” onshens, on how fathers are doing today: “I think for the most part, that there has been great improvement with fathers today who have been stepping up big time in comparison to days gone by. It’s not yet where it should be, and I would encourage every father out there to love and protect his children. Provide for them, and most importantly, be there for them.” Is Konshens prepared to have ‘the talk’ with his daughter? “I’m ready!!! I’ve been practicing,” he laughs. “I don’t know what age it’ll happen, but whenever the time comes, I’ll be ready. I’ve got this!!!”

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Beyond

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LOVE “MYTOCHILDREN ENTERTAIN”

, LAUGHING AS HE SARCASTICALLY WONDERS WHERE THEY COULD HAVE POSSIBLY GOTTEN THAT TRAIT.

7

-year-old, Allyanna, 2-year-old Lauren and 1-year-old Joshua have a Daddy who never fails to ignite his most ardent fans. His lyrics are engaging, his delivery powerful, and his energy is so high, it’s contagious. So contagious that even baby Joshua, Agent Sasco’s only son, is insistent on joining the chorus of the popular DJ’s rendition of “The Wheels on the Bus.” He has many fans the world over, but these three, I’m sure, are his favourite. You don’t have to be with the Campbells for very long to know that all three children have inherited Daddy’s genes: self-assured, wise and born to perform. Joshua, a.k.a. JC, is just finding his footing. Literally. He’s recently started walking and already has his diaper swag going on. Ever seen a confident one year old? Well this little man is nothing but. His ‘silent-riversrun-deep’ stare makes you wonder just what his little mind is plotting while he waddles carefully to the beat, concentrating on his newly learned strut. Big sister Ally, as if instinctively, nears her brother in protective mode. She’s ready to break his fall, and unknowingly shows her strong, serious side. All this while the Agent watches attentively. He’s clearly in Daddy-mode, and rightfully so. He’s blessed with incredibly beautiful children. Little miss LC has already graced the cover of b3, and has the charm to hypnotise everyone in her wake. Allyanna, at just 7 years old, possesses the grace and elegance of a real-life princess.

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Though entertaining large audiences comes with the territory of being a respected artiste, Jeffrey, a.k.a. Agent Sasco, makes sure that each of his little fans gets to enjoy their own one on one moments with daddy. “Time management is critical, especially with the time demands of my career. I try to be home whenever I can before they go to sleep in the evenings,” he shares. “When I’m home I hang out with them as much as I can. My children love to entertain,” laughing as he sarcastically wonders where they could have possibly gotten that trait. “We spend a lot of time singing and dancing and having crazy fun with each other. The age differences also play a part in how time is shared among them. Ally and I have great conversations on so many different topics. She’s very curious and bright, and full of questions. She’s big enough to accompany me when I run errands, while for now, LC and JC are still too young for the hassle. Lauren and Joshua are still babies, so they LOVE to hear my voice. I make up stories, and sing to them a lot. They love it, and so do I,” a beaming Sasco reveals. With more than a decade as a successful DJ, Agent Sasco’s confident and forceful stage show persona has become the stuff of legends in the dancehall. But being around him when he’s in daddy mode exposes a gentler side to this imposing figure: glowingly complimenting Allyanna on how pretty she looks in her dress, tenderly reminding little Lauren to sit like a lady and playfully tickling baby Joshua to coax out a smile. Though he’s fun-loving with his kids, the serious Sasco, whom we

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Beyond

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sometimes see during performances, has a no-nonsense approach when it comes to disciplining his children. “My principles are a part of both my professional and personal life. At times, my work is about fun, and sometimes it’s about serious issues. I know when to switch hats. Similarly, I am fun dad sometimes and when necessary I’m serious dad. I must say though, I’m way more patient as a father than I am at anything else.” oping to impart certain values and attitudes to their children, Sasco and his wife agree that discipline is a function of that process. They attempt to curb behaviour that is not consistent with their family ideals and goals. As a couple, they use varied approaches to discipline as different situations arise, and have found that speaking with them, and showing options and other ways of looking at things, is the best and most effective way for them. “We do whatever we feel is in the best interest of helping the kids develop good values and sound qualities,” explains Sasco. With the now commonplace use of social media, how does this very public figure manage to keep his personal life private? “Social media is integral, and I do share a bit of personal and family content on my Facebook and Instagram, but personal content management is

H

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necessary. I’m very proud of my children and their achievements along the way, but I’m also very careful to guard not just our privacy as a family, but theirs as individuals as well. I really just keep our very personal family matters outside of the public space.” Sasco knows that being a celebrity is not just about making music. It’s about the person behind the music, and being able to stand tall and represent himself, even after the stage lights go out. “Having children has made me more conscious of the musical legacy I will leave. I now consider what my children’s children are going to think about grandpa's work. It’s also incredibly flattering when the kids like a song. I was shocked the other night when I asked L.C. if she knew any of my songs and she said “Yes Daddy, Day In Day Out”. "It felt like I had won a Grammy just because she acknowledged the song.”

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Same Great Taste and Texture that your little one has grown to love!

Breast Milk is the best food for babies. NESTUM® Infant Cereals may be introduced from six months onwards as part of a healthy weaning diet. SPRING ISSUE 2014

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I

f all goes according to 7-year-old Gio’s plans, it shouldn’t be too long before daddy Wayne will be ‘kickin’ it’ at the olympic-sized pool that he’ll be buying for his Mummy. Along with his father, and ‘Uncle’ Sasco, Giomar is riding an incredible wave in the dancehall, that sees their collaboration receiving heavy rotation on local and international airwaves. Daddy Wayne couldn’t be happier. He welcomed his second son almost 6 months ago, making his mini musician, a big brother. Jaxen’s arrival is the proverbial icing on the cake. “This is it for me; I’ve had an awesome year!” Wayne Marshall is a proud father who made the decision to allow his 7-year-old son to ‘enter’ the dancehall on the currently trending single “Stupid Money”. How does he feel about exposing his young son to the industry? “Music is in our blood. I don’t force him into music, it comes naturally to him, and it’s fun for him, so I try to keep it like that,” says Wayne. With the song’s seemingly heavy focus on money and wealth, Wayne explains the lesson behind the music. “Stupid Money is not about being stupid with the money it’s about having ‘stupid’ amounts of money.” Stupid being the slang for plenty or copious amounts, sees the song speaking about dreaming big dreams, and not limiting oneself. Stupid Money was written to inspire people to aim for great success. We don’t worship money and vanity, but the reality is that money is crucial to survival in this system.” As his father, Wayne sees it as his responsibility to steer Gio through the entertainment industry. If you’re lucky enough to meet this charming young man, you’ll be struck by his humility and sincerity. “Gio is not the kid to dwell on popularity, that’s not why he comes on stage. It’s always been a part of him and I believe a child is never too young to explore God-given talents.” Though Gio is free to choose any path he wishes, Daddy believes that this is just the beginning of his son’s musical journey. His advice to him is to learn his instruments, which will serve as the best foundation to build on his natural ability. Wayne, like his friend and industry colleague Agent Sasco, represents a large sector of Caribbean men who stand at the helm of blended families. Gio’s mother, and Jaxen’s mother, Wayne’s wife, are the reason it all works. “I am blessed to have great women in my life who are easy to communicate with. We have always put Giomar first in all things,” says the always-smiling Wayne. “Too many parents place kids in the middle of relationship drama, that inevitably messes them up. Giomar knows

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SONS “MYARE

.

SUPER SPECIAL

AND I THINK THEY VALIDATE WHO I AM AS A PERSON, BECAUSE IF GOD SAW IT FIT TO BLESS ME WITH THEM I GUESS I MUST BE PRETTY SPECIAL TOO.

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Beyond he has a unique family structure and he loves his mother and stepmother dearly. Any other dynamic would be strange for him, that’s all he knows.” Respect for each other keeps the lines of communication open in their lives. That, and open discussion. “I have never left it to chance whether he gets it or not, we discuss everything on his mind at the right times,” says Wayne emphatically. This daddy knows that some people have to dig deeper than others to put emotions aside, and look at the bigger picture, but his firm belief is that putting children first should always be the highest priority for parents. There is an energy that exudes from a father who loves being a Dad. And though

is having healthy and happy children, and watching them progress and grow into being independent thinkers. He is proud to observe how quickly Jaxen is picking up new things, and how well Giomar is developing as a young man. He is proud to be his brother’s keeper. “My sons are super special and I think they validate who I am as a person, because if God saw it fit to bless me with them I guess I must be pretty special too.” As a longtime positive role model, in and outside of the dancehall, Wayne is cognizant of setting an example. Wayne’s wish for fathers today? “Observe the delivery process and understand the miracle that takes place when a new life is born.

Wayne makes a valiant attempt to look serious, the joy in his life prevents the poker face from shining through. He starts to speak about Jaxen. “Bwoy, I love being a father. I couldn’t imagine my life without Gio and Jaxen.” Like any good ‘Marshall’, Wayne made sure to prepare for Jaxen’s arrival. Ensuring that big brother wouldn’t feel neglected was an important part of the process that was tackled by involving Gio in all aspects of planning to welcome the baby. Across the Caribbean, so many new fathers revel in the pride of having boys. For some, it’s an extra-special blessing to ‘carry on the family name’. That may be so, but for Wayne, the best part of parenting

Natural instinct of responsibility should chip in at that moment when you see what a mother has to go through. You can't really force somebody to be a good father but at the end of the day the greatest thing you can do for yourself and your children is to be there for them as a positive guiding force. I’ve learned that children are much smarter than we think they are. They observe things you wouldn't expect, and are quick to emulate us most of the time. Parents teach by example, so our actions are critical. For me, I'm always trying to be the best father I can be for my boys.”

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.


Beyond

Books .

A FATHER FIRST: How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball by Dwyane Wade

This is the biography of NBA player Dwyane Wade and his determination to be a superstar father. A Father First traces Dwyane Wade’s life from a troubled childhood through to a very public custody battle for his two sons Zaire and Zion. His commitment to responsible fatherhood as he raises his sons as a single-father with a job that takes him out of town much of the basketball season is an example to all fathers, whatever their situation. “A Father First is a must-read for any man who values fatherhood. It is a plus to have a passion for basketball, but any dad will appreciate the story, the example and the commitment. The book is well written, easy to follow and hard to put down.” – Wayne Parker, www.about.com Fatherhood

THE BOOK OF MAN: Readings On The Path To Manhood by William J. Bennett

The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood can perhaps best be described as an anthology about the lives and experiences of strong men in history and presents these men as role models for boys and men in today’s world. Any dad who is looking for a way to talk to his sons about manhood and hoping to instill a sense of self-respect will benefit from reading and sharing The Book of Man. The book shares insights and lessons from the lives of strong men in history. Examples from the lives of men (some not without controversy) suggest that we need to focus our greater energies on teaching our sons young and older what it means to be a man. In an era that seems chockfull of bad examples of responsible manhood and fatherhood, and in a world in which we honor men for irresponsibility, The Book of Man raises the standard quite a bit for fathers today. Wayne Parker, www.about.com Fatherhood

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RATTLED: What He’s Thinking When You’re Pregnant by Hogan Hilling

An insightful, humorous guide to understanding your husband’s thoughts and feelings during pregnancy, this is a one-of-a kind pregnancy book. When it comes to his feelings, not every new dad is willing to come clean with his pregnant wife. And not every expecting mother should expect her husband to know just how she feels. Navigate the nine months in his head with topics that include how your husband really feels about his job and family finances, what he needs from you emotionally, mentally, and intimately, and why his “me time," “man cave,” and buddies are important.

THE EXPECTANT FATHER: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be by Armin A. Brott, Jennifer Ash

.

This indispensable book explores the emotional, financial, and even physical changes the father-to-be may experience during his partner’s pregnancy. Written in an easy-to-absorb format and filled with sound advice and practical tips for men on such topics as, how to make sense of your conflicting emotions, how pregnancy affects your sex life, and how to start a college fund. This volume reassures, commiserates, and informs. It also incorporates the wisdom of top experts in the field, from obstetricians and birth-class instructors to psychologists and sociologists.

Jamaica's funniest father Michael Abrahams says...

You Know That You Are A Father When: ˏˏ You find yourself singing children's television show theme songs; and children aren't even around. ˏˏ You hear yourself telling children that the music of today is crap.

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ˏˏ You find yourself doing class projects; and you are not a member of the class. ˏˏ Homemade Father's Day cards make your heart melt.

ˏˏ Expletives reach your lips but come out as clean words (which sound like expletives). ˏˏ You don't drive as fast a you used to.

ˏˏ You travel and forget to shop for yourself.

why people call their children terrorists.

ˏˏ You find yourself buying toys that YOU want to play with.

ˏˏ You feel a kind of love that you have never felt before.

ˏˏ You finally understand

WWW.B3CARIBBEANMAGAZINE.COM

Michael is an OBGyn, Comedian and Daddy to Ali, Zach and Zane. Subscribe and get some laughs from his YouTube channel.

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PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

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By Sara Conner Arlington, Texas, from Jamaica

It used to be so interesting to me how at odd and random times our house seemed to be overrun by Casper the friendly ghost. Things would go missing, shampoo bottles emptied, powder mysteriously all over the counter tops or live fish covered in food. Cabinets break, drinking glasses disappear and a half bottle of ketchup can end up in an experiment combined with cereal, hair gel and soap. When trying to investigate the situation, it is not unusual to get a resounding wide-eyed “I didn’t do it” though the evidence is clearly planted on the t-shirt.

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mazing how our children learn to lie so early – they say the dog did it, one of their toys or someone else, anyone else but them. If we fall for those batting eyelids and chunky little cheeks we may just be enabling a pretty little liar. Isn’t this a battle though? Trying to find the balance between discipline, teaching the value of truth and not over punishing? I know I have dealt with walking that rope and because my munchkin has me smitten and squeezed like putty in his hand, I had to get a force field against his cuteness and get on with the business of truth! People lie for all sorts of reasons and children are no different. We lie because we are afraid. We are afraid to disappoint, afraid of rejection, afraid of embarrassment and punishment. We lie because we have learned that it’s okay to lie when it suits us based on what we witness from influential others. For example, if my dad didn’t feel like dealing with someone on the phone when they called, he would tell me to tell them he wasn’t there – though his freckle faced was clearly in front of me (I am sure he’s given up that line by now…eeek). Or we exaggerate “yes, I’m just down the road, be there in a few minutes” but realistically it’s more like a few hours. We lie to appease, to hide or shirk responsibility. So many reasons, but ahoy matey, we don’t want our little babes lying to us – so I have noted a couple things and I have a couple suggestions to keep that halo glowing over our angels. We have to be an example first. Kind of weird to be in shock and awe when our children make up stories about aliens who broke the cabinets when we have told them stories about Santa Claus riding flying reindeer and the tooth fairy whose wings carry her into bedrooms at night. One of the mottos I have tried to live by is, “It’s hard to discipline out of my child that which is still resident in me”. A standard of truth should be lived out not just expected. Secondly, I realised that terrorising, spanking on the dime, yelling, berating and demeaning my children didn’t get the truth. Actually, it fostered more lies because they were more afraid of my reaction than valuing the truth. In actuality, I really cared more about them telling the truth than whatever impish thing they just did. I could deal with cleaning up the mess but I didn’t want to deal with lying being a core part of their character. So, I began letting them know the consequences for the truth are always lesser than the ones for a lie. I also explained grace – that grace – a favour, a pass on a punishment is always an option to those who tell the truth. Though they may still endure a consequence, I became more positive and less .

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dramatic – came from a place of positive reinforcement than negativity. I deliberately looked for moments they were truthful and celebrated those. This removed the fear and fostered an understanding that we have a choice to lie or tell the truth. Finally, I taught the dangers of lying by reading “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” to them. In doing so it shows how lying can affect many people. No matter what age 4, 5, 8 – a child can understand that lying can be detrimental. Finally, when dealing with my own children I learned that I needed to explain that lying, stealing or whatever it was, was a separate action and not the culmination of who they were. So, I would, and still, say things like this: “I am disappointed you chose to lie. You are too smart, articulate and important to make choices below your intelligence and lying is an action beneath your character, you are more than that. Mommy still loves you, I didn’t like what you did – understand? Ok, Don’t do it anymore?” Then be done with it – don’t bring it up over and again. At times, I have also created creeds of family behaviour such as, “This family is truthful, excellent, loyal, etc. You are part of this family and this is who you are as well”. If and when they lie, they must take responsibility by apologising. Sara Conner is a low-drama mama living in the wild west with her husband Eben and their love children Heaven & Landon. LIKE her on facebook/pastorsara twitter@ pastorsara or her blog pastorsara.com

IN A NUTSHELL, IN DETERRING LYING PUT AWAY THE SCARE TACTICS AND TRY THESE INSTEAD: ˏˏ

Be personally truthful.

ˏˏ

Remove fear factors.

ˏˏ

Have consequences that are fair.

ˏˏ

Read The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

ˏˏ

Create an identity creed of who you are.

ˏˏ

Reward honesty.

ˏˏ

If all else fails, hey, you may have a fiction writer on your hands!!!!

SPRING ISSUE 2014


Baby Basics are Best at

Joseph's .

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Beyond

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J A N UA S PRRYI N- GMIA SR SC UH E 2014


B3 Islan’Dad

Adam Stewart .

By Michelle Gordon and Joni Wedderburn Photography: Dwayne Watkins Shot on location: Montego Bay, Jamaica Children's Wardrobe: Cradle to Footsteps

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He’s the Caribbean’s youngest CEO, overseeing a hospitality and service empire that spans a veritable globe. At 33, he heads 19 resorts in 6 countries, the largest automobile dealer in Jamaica, an appliance sales and service enterprise, and several other private entities. He’s a business powerhouse with a nononsense reputation for discipline and strong work ethos. But to 4-year-old Aston, 2-year-old Sloan and 4-month-old Camden, he’s simply Daddy. Board meetings, conference calls and property purchases mean ‘diddly squat’ in the face of story-time, sand castles and tea parties.

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.

“I’M PROUD TO SAY

THAT I HAVE ATTENDED THE BIRTHS OF ALL THREE OF MY CHILDREN. GIVEN THE NATURE OF MY JOB, THAT'S MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE!

S

tealing Adam Stewart away from work for a few hours was a lot easier than we had imagined. He was only too happy to put his feet up and sit with us for a chat. We’re glad he did.

Were you in the delivery room for your children’s births? If yes, how was that experience for you? I’m proud to say that I have attended the births of all three of my children. Given the nature of my job, that's much easier said than done! Sloan’s birth proved to be the most exciting. Jill was in London and I was in Montego Bay when her mother called to tell me her

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‘waters’ had broken. It was 4 p.m. and there was a flight from Kingston at 6 p.m. – over three hours away by car. Thankfully one of our company planes was on the ground and I was able to scream to Kingston, book a ticket and get to London. I walked through arrivals with my briefcase and the shirt on my back. As it turned out, it was just Jill’s ‘back waters’ and she didn’t give birth until two days later!

Was it easy/ challenging for you and Jill to agree on the names of your children?

It was very easy. Jill’s father is British, as is my mother and so, whilst we are both proudly Caribbean, we share a deep love of the United Kingdom. It was unintentional but each of our children’s names is connected in some way to the place.


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“I TRY TO BE AS HANDS-ON ” AS I POSSIBLY CAN, AND INVOLVE MYSELF IN WHAT THEY DO What activities do you like to do with your children?

I, much like my father, spent my childhood growing up on the water: whether at a beach or on a boat, and our kids are no different. When Jill was pregnant, we purposely spent as much time as possible in and around the ocean and our children enjoy it as much as we do. I play a lot of football with Aston and both he and Sloan have little scooters which are a lot of fun and I’m not too macho to play with Sloan’s tea set once in a while as well!

How would you describe your parenting style? In what ways is it similar to or different from your own father’s style?

I try to be as hands-on as I possibly can, and involve myself in what they do, and likewise, I try to take them with me when I travel. They love it and we are able to spend time with one another too. Parenthood between my generation and my father's

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is very hard to compare because they’re in two different times. Nowadays, parents are much more hands-on: changing nappies, cleaning up their mess and so on. That wasn’t the case in my father’s time.

What’s the most important lesson you learned from your father?

My dad instilled a sense of principle: the difference between right and wrong. It is a wonderful foundation on which to raise kids, and one we also try to impart to our children too.

What’s the most important lesson you want to teach your children? I would dearly love to instill in them the importance of family - of being surrounded by people who love and support them unconditionally whatever it is they want to do in life.

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WHEN YOU SEE YOUR CHILDREN IT’S ALMOST HARD TO IMAGINE

BEING IN LOVE WITH ANYTHING ELSE AS MUCH” .

What has been most surprising about parenthood for you? What were your expectations about being a parent and how are they different from the reality?

A lot of parenthood is almost clichéd but that’s because it’s true. When you see your children it’s almost hard to imagine being in love with anything else as much, and they become the centre of your universe. You also have a deeper respect for your own parents because you come to realise that parenting is neither easy nor obvious. I was born the same year my dad opened the first Sandals Resort in 1981, and as a result I spent lots of time with my mum. At the time you don’t appreciate how challenging it is until of course you are doing it yourself.

Is 3 the magic number or do you want to have more children?

How has becoming a dad changed or impacted you as a person?

It’s certainly made me think differently, that’s for sure. You align your priorities, your life completely, and remember that you are responsible for their well-being. I also accept that the carefree part of life disappears!

With 3 kids, how do you ensure that you're spending quality time with each of them?

Aston and Sloan are relatively similar in age and are developing their personalities more or less at the same time and can play together whereas Camden is a babe in arms which certainly makes things easier. It’s hard work of course but the trick is spending as much time as possible together as a family.

Three is definitely the magic number. It’s all we can get in the back of the car!

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ith Adam so often off in his global offices, do Aston, Sloan and Camden have any idea that their Daddy is such a hard-worker? Not likely. “My family is the world to me, so I do what I have to do ensure that they know that. When I’m with them, I’m all theirs. And they know, even when I’m at work, I’m still theirs,” laughs an obviously proud and happy father. So with expansion plans in the works for the Sandals chain, Adam Stewart is sure to have his hands full with

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acquisitions and business deals. Though he has been charged with the continued success of the empire his father built decades ago, his most important role yet, has and continues to be doting daddy, playmate and mentor to his three children. Adam Stewart is the CEO of Sandals Resorts International (SRI), which owns and operates Caribbean-based Sandals Resorts, Beaches Resorts and Grand Pineapple Beach Resorts.

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Beyond

I Survived The Dentist

.

O

By Christian-David Gordon

n my last trip to the dentist I learned that I had cavities. My mom, my grandma and some of my friends have had fillings, and I was scared. My friends told me that they got an injection in their mouth, and it was scary. The day I went to the dentist I was really nervous that I had to get an injection in my mouth. When I went into the room, I was not getting my fillings yet, I was getting something the doctor called sealant. It is this thing that keeps you from getting more cavities. I asked how it tasted and the lady said it tasted sour. That did not sound good to me. I really don’t like the taste of medicine, and she said it would taste like medicine. So I tried to keep my tongue away when she was spraying it in. After that was over I was scared again. I asked if I had to get an injection in my mouth. She said, “Maybe, maybe not, it depends on how deep the cavities are”. When she took a look in my mouth she said maybe we can do without. I was like, thank the Lord! There was this machine that they had that kept my tongue away. The doctor said that the paste would taste bitter. I like that she warned me, and when she did it, it felt comfortable. So I got my fillings, without an

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injection and I felt no pain. I like this Dentist better than the others because they have a lot of advanced tools, like iPads and computers that are hooked up to big screens, and I also got to see inside my mouth.

5

Reasons to Smile. Some of the things that I really liked were:

1.

After every visit they give you toys.

2.

When you are waiting you get an iPad to use.

3. 4. 5.

When the dentist is cleaning your teeth she has a camera that shows you what she is seeing inside your mouth. There is a place that when you are waiting you can get coffee, hot chocolate, Milo. It didn’t hurt one bit. My mother says it’s because I was distracted by the iPad.

So if there are any children who are afraid of the dentist I recommend my new dentist Dr. Holmes. I am sure you will like her. Christian-David Gordon is an 8-year-old boy who aspires to be a musician, scientist, professional tennis player and bank owner.

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b3ESCAPES

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Escape to

Iberostar By Joni Wedderburn, Jamaica

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Juggling parenthood, work and life’s other stresses is no easy feat, but you manage to take it all in stride day in and day out. There’s no doubt, you’re a bonafide, real-world superstar and deserve to be treated as such. So next time when you’re ready for a break, grab the family and head over to Jamaica’s second city to soak up some much needed pampering at Iberostar. SPRING ISSUE 2014

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eady to jet off to MoBay? Check. Uber excited to stay at Iberostar? Double check!! Picked one of Iberostar’s amazing Jamaican resorts to unwind? Hmmmm. Time to make some ‘tough’

decisions. In this corner, weighing in at 319 suites is the luxurious, all-inclusive getaway, Iberostar Rose Hall Suites, guaranteeing families non-stop enjoyment. Your youngsters are sure to be left in a trance when they first set eyes on the resort’s personal water park, aptly named “Splash Park”, with its winding slides, wacky water features, chilled-out lazy river and seemingly never ending infinity swimming pool. And in this corner, weighing in at 366 rooms, is the breathtaking, all-inclusive retreat, Iberostar Rose Hall Beach, offering families an amazing yet affordably priced experience. Your children will surely be puzzled as they try to decide between splashing about in the glistening waters of the massive main pool, the ultra-exclusive children’s pool or the white sand lined, turquoise Caribbean Sea. From little 4-year-old tykes up to fast growing 12-year-old tweens, there’s a super cool “Kids Club” on both properties ready to tackle entertainment duties with fun-filled sports, creative arts & craft, and thrilling games. Parents, with the kiddies safely at play, this is the perfect time to sneak away for a soothing, sensual, couples massage at the spa. Later, if you’re able to wrangle everyone together, the “Star Friends” will happily arrange some action-packed activities: volleyball, dance lessons, snorkeling, kayaking and windsurfing are always favourites, for the whole family to enjoy. After a high-energy day, you’ll work up a pretty big appetite and Iberostar Rose Hall Suites has once again got you covered with eclectic Mexican, Mediterranean and Jamaican options, not to mention succulent Steak House and Gourmet menus while at Iberostar Rose Hall Beach, the culinary adventurous can feast on Japanese and Cajun cuisine, a fascinating fusion of African and French fare. When you’re all ready to satisfy your night time entertainment cravings, both hotels have some great live shows: comedy, music and dance performances, for parents and kids. Itching for a vacation yet? It’s definitely time to head over to www.iberostar.com to book an unforgettable trip. .

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Beyond

Mommy Brain Syndrome By Gillian Whyte-Roseway, Jamaica

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A good memory is a blessing. Some persons are exceptionally gifted at remembering almost everything. For the majority of us, we remember important things. Most persons have average cognitive ability when it comes to remembering names, numbers and schedules. Though there is normal decline in memory as we age, it is said that this basic memory function is affected after women have children. For some mothers it’s a slight forgetfulness, while others have trouble committing anything to memory.

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eferred to as everything from maternal absent-mindedness to being scatteredbrained, mommy brain is experienced by several mothers. Whatever you want to call it, the phenomenon is real, and understandably so. From the beginning of pregnancy to having a toddler, your life as a mother goes from zero to sixty. You are

now not only responsible for yourself but also have the additional responsibility of another human being, who is totally dependent on you. So if you forget the person you met last week, that’s understandable. But forgetting a phone number you call everyday may be a red flag.

...IF YOU FORGET THE PERSON YOU MET LAST WEEK, THAT’S UNDERSTANDABLE. BUT FORGETTING A PHONE NUMBER YOU CALL EVERYDAY MAY BE A RED FLAG.

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THE SIGNS

You walk into a room for something, and then stand there wondering why you’re there and what it is you are supposed to be doing. You just cleaned the baby’s pacifier and have no idea where you put it. You’re on

your way out and realise you’re in your bed slippers. Some amount of forgetfulness happens to everyone. However, a sign of mommy brain syndrome is the frequency of these situations of being absent-minded.

THE SOLUTION

Mommy brain doesn’t have to keep you back. Here are a few simple tips to help you stay on top of things. 1.

Write it down. Feel free to make a note of important things you have to do. Place notes to yourself where you will see them, like on the fridge or put reminders in your cell phone.

2.

Schedule it. Make a schedule. Nothing complicated, just a guideline for your day’s or week’s activities. Jot down pick-up times, supermarket trips and anything else for which you need to carve out time.

3.

Automate it. Anything that can be done automatically will definitely help you stay on point. Pay bills and do transfers online, make use of technology and cut down time spent away from home.

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he bottom-line is, don’t be too hard on yourself. You are bound to experience a little forgetfulness. The next time you leave your coffee on top of the car, or misplace your keys, remember you’re not alone. Several moms all over the world share the hectic, rewarding journey that is being a mom. Pregnancy and motherhood are some of the biggest tasks you will undertake in your life. The numerous things you have to accomplish in 24hrs with little-to-no sleep can be overwhelming. Utilising the tips given may not completely conquer mommy brain, but you can significantly reduce its effects. When in doubt, take a deep breath and take a minute to pull yourself together then continue being the awesome mom you know you are!

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Beyond

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A picture of the modern father taken a generation ago would have looked considerably different from that of the average daddy taken today. He’s still the head of his household, leading his family from the front, but for the most part, he’s closer now than ever before. His children are not just a pretty picture on his desk in the office. They're an integral part of his day, proving more and more, that anytime is...

Daddy Time

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Yussuf Migoko Professional Tennis Player Photography: Mark Anthony Chen

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rofessional Tennis Player and Coach, Yusuf Migoko stikes a pose with his 20 monthold-son Israel Lue Migoko. “Being Daddy to Israel is pure joy! He’s a little guy with a big attitude, and he never fails to make me proud.” Game, Set, Perfect Match!

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Beyond

Christopher Dehring CEO, LIME Photography: Dwayne Watkins

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e’s the head honcho at one of Jamaica’s leading telecoms companies. He makes the big decisions, he’s the final arbiter, yup, the buck stops with Chris. But that’s at work. At home however, there’s another boss. 2-year-old Shiloh runs the show now, taking over from her big brother, 20-year-old Zachary who’s away at school. “My children are 18 years apart,” explains Chris, speaking about his parenting style, “I’m at a totally different place in my life today, so naturally, I parent them differently. I am far more physically loving with my daughter, naturally, because she is a girl...and tougher on my son because he is older, and a boy. But irrespective of age, we’re connected. Zachary and I email and text each other constantly, and more often when he needs money! And I wake up to Shiloh’s smile everyday. The single most important life lesson for my children to learn? Always back yourself and keep moving forward...don’t let detractors prevent you from fulfilling your potential and being happy. “I just always try and remember what I was like as a child, and put myself in their shoes. Hopefully I will be able to do as good a job as my parents did with me."

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Beyond

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Jon Baker CEO, Geejam Photography: T.K. Mendez

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ritish-born, Jamaican-adopted music producer Jon Baker has a long list of reasons to stand proud of a lifetime of hard work and well-deserved achievements. But his proudest so far? He’s daddy to 4 children: 33- year-old make-up artist Samantha, 22-year-old photographer and stylist Savannah, 19-year-old Troy – a music producer and 6-year-old Ché, to whom the sky’s the limit. He’s also grand-dad to 7-month-old Chase. Living a bi-coastal life may be glamorous indeed, but it also requires some work. Settled in Jamaica for the past 12 years, Jon keeps close ties with his older children through regular visits for them to Jamaica, and in reverse, of him to the UK and New York. “We need to see each other a lot. They’re not that good on phones or Skype, ” laughs Jon. In today’s world, choices are abundant, and success is not guaranteed. What has been Jon’s strategy in challenging his children to do more? “My children are all extremely motivated, but I do put an emphasis in supporting and encouraging them in their interest in the creative arts, as I was by my parents,” says Jon. “We all build our lives by putting pieces together. The pieces are our experiences and upbringing. Until you are a father, the meaning of life is somewhat of a puzzle – for me, fatherhood is the key to that puzzle.”

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Beyond

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Carlton Brown Owner, Carlton Brown Menswear Design Photography: Dwayne Watkins

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amaica’s most respected menswear designer is Carlton Brown. He’s got an eye for detail, impeccable taste, and a clear passion for perfection. It’s a good thing he also knows how to flip the script! He’s daddy to 18 year old Tevin, 14 year old Tyrese, and 4 year old Tiah-Nicole. If nothing else, being meticulous around a machine has taught this hands-on-father when and how to ‘ease-off’ the control. “As a designer, I control every aspect of the product, from conception to the final outcome. But being daddy is the complete opposite. I’ve learned a lot about myself since becoming a father, most importantly being that perfection in parenting comes in happy moments of learning lessons from mistakes we make along the way. My children are as individual and unique as each suit I design, but I’m like the ‘feed dog’ on the machine. My role is to guide them along the best path for them to achieve their own greatness.”

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Gary Matalon

CEO, The KLE Group Photography: Dwayne Watkins

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hether he’s raising the roof at one of his famous parties, (pun intended), or raising a supportive cheer for his children at school, you’re almost guaranteed to be greeted with an engaging smile. CEO of the KLE Group Limited, Gary brings passion to what he does: power-playing in the boardroom, partying on the Cays, and parenting the loves of his life. “Being a father for me has given clear definition to my purpose, and it’s the most meaningful and fulfilling experience of my life.” Fatherhood brings about a tremendous responsibility which trumps all others in life. As Daddy to Sydney and Jacob, I have the awesome task of trying to guide and teach them the best way I know how - the way my father taught me - with values, principles and morals. Raising my two kids is an incredible experience; they are both so different yet so similar in many ways. I see so much of Tina and myself in them, yet they are their own individuals. Each stage of their lives has been equally as amazing as the one before. I had been told time and time again that 'you never truly know what love is until your child is born'. My two children have definitely put those words in perspective for me. Their lives are in our hands, and they rely totally and completely on us to provide love, security and direction. This lifelong commitment is what it’s all about."

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Beyond

Things

BOYS

Need From Their Moms

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By Sara Mastin

Children need many things from their parents. They need stability, protection, nurturing, and love. They also need other things, different things, from each of their parents. I have seen several such lists, and I wanted to add my opinion to the mix. Because I am a mommy to a little boy, this is what I know. So, here’s the list of things I pray I give to my little guy, in order to help him grow into a good man – the things I think every little boy needs from his mom.

To Be Showered With Affection - hugs, kisses, all of it, until he is big enough to not want that anymore. Then he needs you to ruffle his hair, put your hand on his shoulder, and hug him anyway. He needs to know the importance of human contact so that he doesn’t keep it from his wife or children.

To Dance – in the car, in the living room, in the front yard. Slow dance, crazy dance, any kind of dancing the song calls for, even if there’s no song at all. He will learn that life has a soundtrack. That there is no moment too small to celebrate, and the big ones….. they almost always call for dancing.

To Be Told Secrets – and let him tell them to you. Big or small. Doesn’t matter what they are. He needs to know that he can always talk to you, about anything. And besides, secrets are fun!

For You To Marry The Kind Of Man You Want Him To Be – because he will . His views of marriage are shaped by what he sees from you. He will model

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himself after the men in his life: the kind of husband he is, the kind of father he is, the kind of man he is. You can’t illustrate that to him, so find someone who will.

To See His Mom Respect His Father – show him every day what respect looks like. Show him the way a wife should treat her husband. If you’re not married to his father, show him the way to co-parent peacefully, with respect. He needs a woman who will respect him. Show him what to look for.

To Learn The Kinds Of Things That Women Need – tell him your favorite flower and let him “buy” them for you. Let him take you out to dinner. Let him know that girls like jewelry, and shoes. Let him open doors and hold your hand. Show him what a gentleman looks like.

To Appreciate Beauty, Real Beauty – don’t put yourself down in front of him. He will learn to see you like you see you. He will, at some point, think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Let him.

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Beyond

Don’t tell him he’s wrong. Let him watch you do your nails, your hair, and your make-up. It won’t make him less “manly”, but it will help him understand that women need to feel beautiful. Hopefully, he’ll spend the rest of his life appreciating the lengths we go to in order to attain that beauty.

Discipline – don’t just let his father do it. He needs to .

respect that you are a figure of authority also. He needs to know that your voice carries just as much weight. He needs to understand what co-parenting looks like; he’ll do it himself someday.

To Respect – he will treat his wife the way he was allowed to treat you. He will treat every woman the way he was allowed to treat you. Show him that the correct way to speak to women is with respect and dignity. He’ll thank you for it someday.

To Learn To Say ‘Sir’ And ‘Miss’ - it will take him so far in life. People appreciate this little extra bit of politeness and respect. It can make someone’s day to be made to feel important and appreciated.

Comfort – kiss his boo boo’s, hold him when he needs it. He’ll learn that when it hurts, it’s okay to cry. Eventually your kisses won’t fix everything, but knowing that you want to fix it, that you wish you could heal every one of his broken hearts, it will give him some comfort. It will give him a place to start healing and a spot to launch from when the time comes to get back up.

Responsibility – make him put his own laundry away, take out the trash, and help you do the dishes. Make him earn an allowance to save up for that new guitar, or video game, or baseball equipment. If you don’t, all housework will forever be known as “woman’s work” and nobody wants a man like that. You want him to be the man who will step up and help his wife take care of their home. You want him to learn to take care of the things he has acquired and you want him to know how to work for something he wants.

To Learn His Lesson – even the hard ones. This is one of the hardest parts. As mothers we want to shield our children from the big, bad world. We want to run to them every time we see them start down a path that will lead to no place good. We want to take their

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place every time they might get hurt. And sometimes they need that. Sometimes they need shielding and protecting. Sometimes they need mom to swoop in and save the day. And sometimes they don’t. They will be more effective adults if they are given the opportunity to learn that actions have consequences. They will be more effective adults if they learn how to walk away or say no themselves. And they will be more effective adults if they learn how to handle disappointment.

Love, Unconditionally – and make sure he knows it. When he’s being sweet and obedient. And when he’s not. Every time my son is in trouble, after he has served out whatever punishment he has earned and/or we have had the necessary discussions, I always tell him I love him. We always end on a positive. I never want him to doubt my love for him and I want him to understand that there is nothing he could do to make my love for him diminish. It is very important to me that he knows my love for him is unconditional. To Talk To His Mom About Sex – when he’s old enough and the timing is right. Let his dad talk to him, too, but he needs a woman’s perspective. He needs to know the emotional sides to sex and the ways in which he can damage, or love, a woman with them. He needs to have a place he can ask questions and be honest. He needs more than just the facts and the hormones.

His Mom To Be His Biggest Fan – whether it be on the ball field or at the World Series, his first guitar lesson or a stage, a finger painting or an art gallery masterpiece. Be his biggest fan. The world is full of people just waiting to show him he’s not the best. Let him know, that in your eyes, they will always be wrong.

His Mom To Be Right Next To Him – through everything. Hold his little body when he’s sick and his hand when he’s broken-hearted. Stand next to him, with pride, on his first day of kindergarten and his high school graduation. Help him fix his tie for his first date and his wedding day. Be the first one to him after the birth of his children. Be right next to him... every time. This article was originally printed on the blog page Marriage, Motherhood, Laughter, Life. Follow the author, Sara Mastin on her blog "Life As I Know It", or email her at butterflywritersm@gmail.com

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New York

Kingston

Toronto

Georgetown

4 Cities Non-Stop Fly Jamaica offers flights to

Kingston Jamaica • New York USA Toronto Canada • Georgetown Guyana Enjoy complimentary meals, inflight entertainment, spacious seats and our signature warm friendly service. 2 FREE CHECKED BAGS 1 CARRY ON 1

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Beyond

KIDS WILL BE KIDS…

With Dr. Lisa Franklin-Banton, M.B;B.S., D.M. (Paediatrics) Consultant Pediatrician My daughter is 3 years old and every time we go to the doctor’s office she screams, cries and throws a tantrum. I’ve tried to calm her down by hugging and reassuring her, and I bring snacks and books to keep her busy in the waiting room, but nothing seems to work. Is there anything I can do to help her with her fear of the doctor? .

It is not unusual for some children to be afraid when they go to the doctor. This fear may be the result of remembering a past experience which caused some discomfort. You may encourage your daughter to express her fears and try to deal with them in a way that is appropriate for her age. Always try to prepare her for a visit to the doctor. Explain the purpose of the visit and always speak about the doctor in a positive way. Make it seem like an exciting outing. Before going to the doctor you may act out the scenario at home. This would help her to get familiar with the different instruments and procedures which may be done at the doctor’s office. Let her accompany an older sibling or close friend to their doctor’s visit (once these persons are comfortable with visiting the doctor). This helps her to see that a visit to the doctor can be a pleasant experience. You may also consider trying someone new and seeing whether your daughter becomes more comfortable. You may get recommendations from close friends who have children of similar age.

I had my first child 6 months ago and he is a happy and healthy little boy. He has received all his vaccines so far and has to get the MMR vaccine when he turns 1. I’ve been reading online that there might be a link between MMR and autism. Is this true?

There is no scientifically proven link between MMR and Autism. The MMR vaccine controversy started in 1998 after the publishing of a flawed research paper. Investigations revealed that the author altered evidence and broke other ethical codes. The paper was retracted in 2010 and the author was found guilty of serious professional misconduct. The consensus is that there is no evidence linking MMR to autism and the benefits of the vaccines have been shown to outweigh the risk.

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later, like clockwork, there’s a knock on our door with our daughter crying about being alone and wanting to sleep with us. I feel like this has been going on for too long, but how do I get her to sleep throughout the night in her own bed?

Getting your 4-year-old to sleep in her own room may be a little challenging and will require patience and consistency. Make her room as appealing as possible. Ensure adequate lighting, ventilation and warmth. Try to establish a bedtime routine that leaves her feeling calm. Try to leave the room before she falls asleep. You might also want to leave her with a comforting object, such as a blanket. When she awakes and comes to your room, always accompany her back to her room with minimal interaction. Be firm and let her know that she has to sleep in her own bed. Do not give her a choice. Try as much as possible to ignore undesirable behaviours such as tantrums and crying. If she cries when you are leaving her room, verbally reassure her that she will be fine. Don’t be rough or angry, but be firm and consistent. It is also very important that your husband is in agreement with the approach and will follow through with it when necessary. The first few nights will be the most difficult, but most kids will settle into the routine within 1 to 2 weeks.

My 5-year-old son seems to be having a gas problem. He’s constantly burping and is always complaining about his tummy being upset. What can I do to help him? It is very likely that your son’s diet may be contributing to his problems. You can start by keeping a diary of what he eats and when he complains of his tummy being upset. Also make note of those periods when he seems to be constantly burping. Some children are particularly sensitive to certain types of foods. Common culprits include chewing gum, certain vegetables, sodas and juices. Encourage him to take his time when he is eating. Sit quietly and chew slowly. Some children take in excess air while eating which can cause excessive gassiness. Encourage adequate intake of water. This helps to prevent constipation which can cause upset tummies. Some children may need digestive supplements or probiotics, which would assist with digestion. If this problem persists despite making adjustments to his diet and trial of digestive supplements you should consult his physician.

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Grocery Bliss for Moms from Sampars

www.shopsampars.com

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aising a child is full of challenges and can be extremely time consuming. Sleep and down time are luxuries that you are rarely ever afforded. Despite a parent’s hectic schedule, Shopsampars.com recognizes that rest and relaxation are essential to being a good parent, so having one less task, could make a world of difference. Now you can purchase your groceries online and we’ll deliver anywhere in Jamaica for only JM $950. We want you to spend those memorable moments with your child - not in supermarket lines!

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Beyond

Healthy Vision For Children .

Interview by: Joni Wedderburn Photography: Dwayne Watkins Wardrobe: www.cradletofootsteps.com

As a parent, how do you know if your little one is seeing properly? If you notice signs that your child’s vision is possibly impaired, what do you do? Are you worried that your baby or toddler is too young to wear glasses? Dr. Julie Diem Le, Ophthalmologist and Director of the specialist kid’s eyewear company Zoobug, talks with b3 to address parent's concerns about children’s eye health and wearing glasses.

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What are the most common eye conditions in babies?

A squint, where the child’s eye turns inwards or outwards (known medically as Strabismus) is the most common eye condition in babies and toddlers. Most squints appear in the first 3 years of a baby’s life. By the age of 5 years, 3-5% of children are diagnosed with a squint. Esotropia, which is the most common type of squint, means that the problematic eye turns in. It is also possible to have a squint where the eye turns outwards, this is called Exotropia. Sometimes a squint can be seen in a child all the time but some children get intermittent squints, which are only evident at certain times, for example, when the child is tired or unwell or just focusing on a near object. If a parent suspects that their child has an intermittent squint, they should not hesitate to consult a doctor.

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How will parents know if their baby might need glasses?

It is extremely important that vision problems in babies and young children are diagnosed as early as possible, so that they do not have a harmful effect on a child’s development. Parents should try to schedule an eye test, soon after their baby is born, during which a check is made for a normal red reflex and the presence of healthy clear lens. If a young child has a refractive error i.e. problems focusing, which can manifest itself as a squint, they will need to wear glasses, and they may also need to use a patch, which is used to cover the good eye to improve the other eye. A squint needs to be identified early and properly treated before the ages of 7 or 8. After this, it can be more difficult to correct, as the child’s visual system has reached its final development by this time. If neglected, the eye can become ‘lazy’ or amblyopic, which means it will never see clearly. It is for this reason parents should ensure their children have eye tests at least every three years, from 4 years of age, and earlier if they have specific concerns.

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Beyond Whom should you go and see if you think your baby is having any problems with their eyes?

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If parents ever have any worries about their baby or toddler’s eyes, they should initially visit a GP, or an optician who is used to seeing young children. Should it be necessary, the GP or optician will then refer the child to an eye specialist, usually an ophthalmologist or Eye Doctor. In hospital, they may also be seen by an Orthoptist, who specialises in eye care and has particular training in working with squints and lazy eyes in children. It is recommended that pre-school children have an eye test before starting school. This test can be done by an optician. Even if the child cannot yet read, there are special tests for babies and toddlers to find out about their sight, allowing them to understand if a child has a refractive error and requires glasses.

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What do you need to know about glasses for children if your child needs to wear them?

If a child is prescribed to wear glasses, they must wear them all the time (to prevent the eye becoming ‘lazy’). It is vitally important that parents and adults working with the child, such as teachers, understand the importance of wearing glasses correctly and help children in their care to wear their frames at all times. For very young babies, Zoobug provides special frames which are virtually unbreakable and have no metal parts. The newly launched Zoobug Minis line for 0-3’s offers great comfort as well as very attractive designs. Parents should choose frames that are hypoallergenic or kind to the skin, as well as being robust and durable. Discuss frame styles with your optician, who will be able to guide you through the variety of features for young

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children. There are some beautiful colours, styles and shapes available, and it is important that parents find a frame for their little one that is practical but also pleasing to the child. As kids get older, it becomes more and more important that they are included in the decision–making before the frame is purchased. A child that likes their eyewear is more likely to enjoy wearing it and will wear it correctly. They are likely to experience greater confidence at school and amongst peers if they know they look good in their chosen glasses. For more info about eyewear for babies and toddlers visit www.zoobug.com.

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Beyond

Ready for the Runway Photos Courtesy of Imoga Collection

IMOGA SPRING 2014 COLLECTION

“There is wisdom in every child’s whimsy.” Imoga Spring/Summer 2014 collection captures the playful and vibrant spirit of spring and summer. Spring Tea Party embraces feminine individuality through pretty floral designs and stylish details. A colourful and bold Print Princess emerges, confidently wearing eyecatching prints and graphic tees in the second spring theme.

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www.imogacollection.com

Braid Navy Amita Tee with Cream Jessica Shorts and Melon Maggie Cardigan

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Jill Dress in Melon / Dove Ombre

Brooke Vice Versa Dress in April and Navy

Tara Dress in Pistachio

Andrea Tee in Zebra Pearl with Avery Skirt in Bubble Print

Sally Dress in Rose

Tara Dress in Pansy Print

Peri Dress w/ necklace in Coconut/Vermillion

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Zheart Flamingo Andrea Tee with Herringbone Avery Skirt

Heart Pearl Alica Tee with Khaki Jessica Shorts

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Beyond Andrea Tee in Zheart Dove with Flamingo Cardigan and Brenda Herringbone Shorts

Braid Coconut Amita Tee with Elodi Pants in Magenta

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Alica Tee in Balloon Dove with Cream Eldoi Pants

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b3COMMUNITY

A ‘Rosier’ Rose Town By Joni Wedderburn

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merging from the ashes of political and gang warfare throughout the 1970s and 1980s, Rose Town openly bears the scars of its decades’ long struggle for community peace and unity. Though the ‘borderline’ between Upper and Lower Rose Town no longer exists, challenges related to property rights, running water, sanitation, infrastructure and education continue to plague this inner city neighborhood. The tides began changing in 2007, however, following a visit from Prince Charles, when the Rose Town Project, a US$2 million infrastructure development initiative, was launched to improve the area’s water supply, roads and sewage services, as well as offer skills training for residents. Educational programmes have since been rolled out under the Rose Town Foundation for the Built Environment (RTFBE). A fully functional library now serves the community, providing residents access to computers, the internet and books. The facility is used by several young students, primarily between the ages of 9 and 12 years old, to complete their homework, prepare for GSAT examinations and further develop their literacy and numeracy. Last year, the Foundation embarked on its “Read to Succeed” campaign, which assists pupils with poor reading skills to improve their reading level, increase their reading speed, comprehension and attention span. To address some of the learning difficulties faced by children in the community, RTFBE currently assesses reading levels with a reading test, hosts three weekly reading sessions for each student with the autoskills computer software and then re-evaluates the child’s progress after two months. During the programme, GSAT students are introduced to work books to familiarise them with exam questions, 8-10 year olds .

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are encouraged to read picture books and practice their Persons who are interested in making writing, while younger children donations to the project may contact are given attractive, interesting Angela Stulz at books to motivate them to read. (876) 440-0664 The result of all this effort has angela.rosetownfbe@cwjamaica.com been very promising as many pupils have shown progress and even developed a keen interest in reading. Financial challenges, however, are mounting major obstacles for the programme. Monetary constraints have prevented the foundation from hiring trained teaches who are critical in guiding the students, particularly as it relates to oral language development and finding new methods to facilitate learning, as well as thwarted its ability to purchase additional computers so that more children can spend more time working with the autoskills software. “Last year, five of our GSAT students were placed in schools outside of the inner-city, which is wonderful because it gives them exposure to children from different socio-economic backgrounds and offers them more opportunities,” shares Angela Stultz, Project Manager at the Rose Town Foundation. “We definitely need more funding to continue the ‘Read to Succeed’ programme," she explains. In spite of the difficulties, the Foundation’s reading initiative continues to positively impact young children living within the community.

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SPRING ISSUE 2014


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