What Men Really WantBesides Food & Sex! Presented by Brenda Hill
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Table of Contents
What Do Men Want in a Marriage? What Men Want to Hear From a Woman The Things Men Want Women to Do in a Relationship Most Important Things Men Find Attractive in Women How to Keep a Man Coming Back for More
What Do Men Want in a Marriage? By Amma Marfo
Marriage, however you define it, requires commitment on behalf of both parties involved. Men's role in a successful marriage, and their supposed views of it, are often misconstrued or misunderstood; men really want what any woman would want.
Significance Men are often accused of the crime of non-communication when dealing with impending divorces. "I don't know he's thinking" of "I don't know what he wants" are quoted by exasperated wives looking for answers on what men really want in or out of a marriage. Contrary to popular theory, it's not what you would think.
Misconceptions By nature, men are simple creatures. Needs are based on comforts and pleasure, while women are more nurturing and tend to overlook their own in favor of his. This seems painfully one-sided. The truth is, men not only want, but require the women in their lives to be happy, strong and loving like, you guessed it, mom. The theory that it's all about sex isn't at all accurate. While there's unfortunately many exceptions to this rule, a guy's mother is his first female role model, the ensuing measuring stick on which all girlfriends (thus potential wives) must be judged. Whether mom was good at her job or not may or may not be relative to his choice in mates. He holds an ideal picture of what a wife, or mother to his children, should be. This model includes three primary traits that, to him at least, form the basis of a successful marriage.
Theories/Speculation Men would like someone with the qualities of their mother, however, they don't want their mate to assume the role of pseudo-mom. When the wife begins to be more of a superior than an equal is when men start feeling trapped. This is where communication is vital in a marriage. According to Women Today Magazine's resident relationship guru and professional "Love Coach" Rinatta Paries, men want women to learn to "communicate truth and needs effectively". Men want women to say what they mean, as plainly as possible. Vagueness isn't appropriate. Also, trust is a major issue. Men are looking for a woman to be faithful; infidelity exists on both sides of the relationship. When a man can trust a woman to be true her vows, he can trust himself. Generally speaking, men like sports but do not like games. To them, a marriage where they feel like a pawn in the wife's grand scheme is enough of a red flag to send them bolting.
Considerations If you're in a marriage that's in jeopardy, or are married to a unresponsive husband who seemingly doesn't want to address the issue, consider seeing the subject from his point of view using the above as a guideline. Being forthright about your needs instead of expecting him to understand only what's being said versus what's not being said isn't the best approach. If needed, seek the help of a licensed counselor. While getting the husband to volunteer for a session might be difficult, counselors may be able to offer tips and some insight into the
situation.
Effects Popular theory holds that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, with not much in common. Wrong. Men and women are people, and people have very basic needs. As emotionally complex as both sexes are, men desire many of the same things in a marriage as women do. Security, companionship, trust, some passion, and compatibility are the key ingredients that men both want and need to ensure a lasting marriage with the woman of their dreams. Read more : http://www.ehow.com/about_5035765_men-want-marriage.html
What Men Want to Hear From a Woman By Judy Kilpatrick
A woman can sometimes feel confused when it comes to knowing how to talk to her man. One size does not fit all, and one phrase does not fit all men. To know how to talk to your man, you have to get to know him by listening to him and paying attention to what makes him tick.
Tell Him He's the Best Competition is a driving force for many men, whether it is sports, writing a best-selling novel, having the greenest lawn or something as mundane as grilling a steak. Men are driven to compete and outrank other men. Pay attention to your man, listening to what he says and observing his body language to find clues to what is important to him. Then compliment him on being the best in those areas that matter most to him.
Tell Him How He Helps You Men are known to be problem solvers. If you want to test this theory, just open the hood of your car in a parking lot. Soon men start to gather to see what is wrong. This desire to fix things spills over into other areas of life. For instance, when you begin to tell him about a problem, his wheels immediately start turning as he searches for a solution. If you are not looking for a solution, but you just want to vent, let him know that he is helping you by just listening. On the other hand, if you do need him to fix a problem, offer words of praise for his solution afterward.
Compliment Him Although he may not spend as much time in front of the mirror primping and preening as his female counterparts, men care about appearance. Your man wants to know that he looks good to you. Let him know you find him attractive -- and be specific. If you think his receding hairline makes him look all the more astute, tell him. Many men fear losing their attractiveness when signs of aging appear. If he's just the right height for you, even though he doesn't fit the stereotype of "tall, dark and handsome," let him know. Whether it's the color of his eyes, shape of his nose or muscles in his arms, compliment the physical feature or features you adore about your man to help him feel good about himself.
Validate His Sexuality Tell him how much he rocks your world. Men feel disrespected when their affectionate or sexual overtures are rebuffed. This doesn't mean that you have to respond to his every whim, but how you respond makes all the difference. Your man wants to know you enjoy his attention and that be brings you pleasure. When the time isn't right, you can still let him know that you enjoy being close to him, even if being physically intimate with him has to wait. Shower him with words of affirmation and you will boost his ego and strengthen your relationship. Read more : http://www.ehow.com/way_5306268_men-want-hear-woman.html
The Things Men Want Women to Do in a Relationship By Crystal Green
There's always a debate on who is the more complicated of the sexes, men or women. Women often get accused of rattling through a range of emotions, needs and moods so much so that it becomes difficult to tell what they really want. However, men aren't as easy as they seem. When it comes to love and relationships, they've got a wish list of things they'd like their women to do as well.
Be Confident Men love a confident woman. If you can strut your stuff in any environment with a level of
sheer assurance, he's more than enthused. Your lack of neediness and greediness are something men crave.
Act Like A Lady No matter what your personality, most men still want a woman he can bring around people, like his folks. Sure, it may be all right to showcase your potty-mouth with him while you're playing cards with friends or watching the game together, but, ultimately, he's more into you when you can still remain feminine and poised when appropriate.
Please Like A Vixen The time to showcase your naughty side is in the bedroom. Men love sex. So when you're willing to play any chance you get, he's all in. Show him what you're made of and let loose to please him to his delightful fantasies.
Listen, Listen, Listen Don't spend all your time talking, taking no time to listen. When it's his time to talk, give him his sounding board to vent just like you do. Listening is especially important when he's sharing some of his deepest, darkest secrets. Listen intently to what he's saying rather than rushing him through it just so you can start your self-indulgent conversation
Take Care of Yourself You don't have to wake up looking like a Victoria's Secret vixen to satisfy him. Whether you keep your look natural or strive to look like a supermodel, he just wants to know you're taking care of yourself. This attraction includes your health and fitness regimen as well as your personal hygiene and beauty plans.
Nix The Nagging Enjoy the relationship. Nagging your way through each day with him doesn't do anything to foster good feelings between the two of you. Leave well enough alone and resist the urge to complain about things that really don't matter, such as the way he takes out the trash or the route he drives to work.
Ditch The Ex Get rid of your ex. Nothing says trouble like allowing your ex to linger around for no good reason. If it's over, it's over, and your guy doesn't want to be constantly reminded of the other Joe you used to love before him. This means you need to get rid of those little trinkets and other reminders from your past relationships.
Guy Time Is My Time Understand that no matter how much he loves you and loves being with you, you both need a little space. Even if he's the one that seems inseparable, give your relationship a break by letting him get in some time with the guys. That means not asking if you can tag along to the baseball game or to go get beer. Read more : http://www.ehow.com/info_8417953_things-want-women-do-relationship.html
Most Important Things Men Find Attractive in Women By Marisa Swanson
Most women are mistaken when they think looks are the most important thing to a man. Time and again on "what men find attractive," lists the majority of points are about personality. A man assesses a woman more on her personality than he does her looks when it comes to deciding his level of commitment.
Independence Men value a woman who has her own life and her own achievements. Just as women want to be proud of their man, men also want to introduce a woman that they can be proud of to their friends and family. To garner this pride, it's important that you have goals and an action plan to make them a reality. It helps that you have already achieved past goals. Another way to show that you are independent is to have your own hobbies, likes and dislikes. Don't be afraid to say that an activity of his isn't your cup of tea, but play up other similarities. When you are dating, be sure to maintain your group of friends without expecting him to participate or expect to be a constant fixture in his group of friends yourself. You are independent and have your own life.
Affectionate and Nurturing Men may have a side that is focused purely on physical pleasure, but that doesn't mean that they don't enjoy and want affection. A woman who focuses too much on the act of sex without also delivering affection is likely to be considered as little more than a sex partner. Affection isn't only for the bedroom. Show your man you are affectionate by touching his hand when you're sitting across from one another. Give close, warm hugs. Men also enjoy a woman who they feel nurtures them. But it is a fine line between that and being too much like Mom. Show
that you can nurture by picking an eye lash off his cheek or casually taking an errant hair or piece of lint off his sweater. Don't nag him to do things like clean his place or "bundle up."
Sense of Humor and Carefree Attitude Many men list this in their top priorities when they're talking girlfriend or wife qualities. A girl who doesn't take herself or life too seriously is a big asset, as many women tend to complain or get upset about things that men view as trivial. Learn to laugh at the unfair or unsavory parts of life and you will go far with your man. Men also like women who are playful, regardless of their age. Being "youthful" in spirit is very attractive to men and goes hand in hand with a good sense of humor.
Be a Good Listener Many women fall into the trap of only talking about themselves and their lives when they're with their guy. This behavior comes off as needy and sometimes high-maintenance. Don't forget to ask your man how his day was, how the game went or what his favorite foods and activities are. Don't interrupt when he is talking about himself.
Stand up for Yourself Men like to be challenged. It's common knowledge that they like a bit of a chase when they're interested in a girl. But they like to be challenged in conversation, too. For this reason, they will sometimes challenge the woman in an attempt to flirt or playfully bring up something that they're not crazy about. Don't get pouty and defensive when this happens. Instead, stand up for yourself and challenge him right back. Men want a woman they can respect. And this titfor-tat game shows him that you are a woman to be respected.
Looks Looks do matter, but it isn't always about being a natural-born knockout. Men just like to know that you take care of yourself. This means putting on a little bit of makeup and doing your hair. It's a fine line because some men don't like a woman who is too made up. Having a simple, put-together appearance is always appreciated. Make sure your clothes fit well. Men love a woman who dresses in a feminine way when the situation calls for it. Skirts and dresses to go out with your man show him that you care about your appearance. Men typically don't like women who obsess over calories, but being a healthy eater also shows him that you care about your body.
Down to Earth Men don't like high-maintenance women, so it's important to have a balance. When you're relaxing at home, it's best to be clean, but casual. This is not the place for a mini-skirt. When you're out on a special occasion, indulge in dessert, don't be nit-picky about your diet. Read more : http://www.ehow.com/list_7483281_important-things-men-attractive-women.html
How to Keep a Man Coming Back for More By eHow Relationships & Family Editor
Starting a relationship with a man is hard enough, but you have to continue working if you want to keep him in the relationship with you. Men have a tendency to lose interest quickly, whether by being more quiet or spending less time with you. Here are a few ways to keep your relationship interesting and keep you man coming back for more.
Instructions 1. Live your own life. Continue doing things with family and friends without him at times and keep up your hobbies. This leads you to a more fulfilling life, which makes you a more desirable person to be around. 2. Accept invitations from your man to do something only when he has asked in advance. A man likes a woman who isn't relying on him at all times--needy is unattractive. 3. Boost his ego occasionally. A great way to do this is to have him teach you something he knows a lot about, whether it is a video game, sport or anything else he is interested in. 4. Change your look every now and again. When you are going on a date to someplace nice, get a spray tan, have your nails and hair done and wear something sexy. This will get his attention and make you feel good as well. 5. Show interest in what he likes, even if you don't like it. This doesn't mean you have to pretend to like all the same things, but choose one or two tolerable things like going to a sporting event or watching a movie he wants to see which you aren't as excited about. 6. Cook special meals every so often. Make something you haven't served him before, or an unexpected meal which has three or more courses. Prepare the meal in advance if you have never made it before though. 7. Discuss issues as they arise instead of seething privately. It is healthy to talk out your problems and makes your relationship stronger in the long run. Read more : http://www.ehow.com/how_2057480_keep-man-coming-back-more.html
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Well there you have it. I truely hope you've gotten a few useful tips from this ebook. If you really want a detailed program on the subject of what a man really wants deep down inside, I encourage you to check out the resource listed below. It's a very good program. Best wishes, Brenda.