homemade, down home, hand-crafted, disruptive & über-social
Pinups Presidential 2016 WORLD TOUR
Starring Kelley Padrick* as d’Ava Gardner POTUS 2016
Campaign Trail Redesign Project * Identity subject to frequent change.
Cuz She’s Awesome, Unemployed & On The Lam!
#AVA2016
ExtravagantSpending Featuring all the
you’ve come to expect, but we get to keep what we paid for!
T
he Prohibition Party is pleased to announce that Kelley Padrick, d.b.a. D’Ava
Campaign #trailblazers & #streetwalkers find new ways to solve problems using personal technology, then upload & share info so we have hard, credible data to use as we redesign our government.
Lavish Lobbies
Gardner, has agreed to represent the movement as our U.S. presidential candidate for the 2016 race. The “Ava’s Pinups & Pistol Pac’n Mammas” have been an entertainment fixture in the underworld for decades, and young Kelley excelled at the family craft, bumping and grinding with all the Holly Molly Bolly Jolly (etc.) wood glitteratti of the day. Upon discovering her wholesome upbringing had actually been a cover for organized crime, Kelley entered a spiraling psychotic episode that her mob family managed with expertly selected pharmaceuticals (one of the true family “businesses” she came to learn.) Upon awakening from an epic multi-year stupor, spent frequently in darkened closets soothing to her escalating PTSD, she realized she must be rich as fuck, and was determined to redeem her life and claim her piece of the family fortune.
B
ut how? Early in her career, unknowingly fronting as a dot com creative director and marketing consultant, Kelley began honing her listening skills & ability to understand her clients’ complex business and technology problems. Curious by nature, and entrusted with her client’s usernames/passwords and credit card information, she began using her technology dashboard to extend her especially insightful brand of marketing hyper-vigilance to their personal preferences and needs. Kelley’s pioneering work in GPS “Pinup” girl-next-door erotic tourism has been formative to the adult entertainment surveillance industry, becoming the “PU Inside” mark of trust, independently earning her respect and industry fame, apart from her family’s shadow.
A
Follow Ava as she happens upon great American architectural porn & explores the neighborhood haps with locals. #SaveAmericasCulturalHeritage
s a result of the trauma, and with the onset midlife’s magical mystical torrents, Kelley’s particularly acute listening skills took a wild existential turn, and she began communicating with the spirit world, speaking in tongues and generating considerable ROI for just about every muthafucka on the planet. Since her family has no intention of releasing such a productive milk cow, Kelley began reaching out to friends from the boards from another era, knowing that secret monies from rival gangs on Nasdaq, NYSE & their international cronies, would be following after her. She realized that she’d been subjected to, and scarred by unnecessary surgery that left valuable information hidden in a hip replacement in her body. Her leg alone would make her a target for murder & extraction should she attempt to live apart from her current Cinderella existence. In public, she wagers she’ll be safely guarded by the billions in money interests she plans on weaving directly into her Human Experience Design Pods.
Glam Fashion Why do we pay so much money to see the same damn blue and red ties? Since we have gals tunning the show in 2016, why not spice the race with designs the Smithsonian will be hankering for? We salute and embrace Michelle O’s guide to White House gorgeous, no matter what job she’s doing. Though no one can touch Michie’s firm guns control on a sleeveless number, we can at least stop ladies from having to run for office wearing frumpy man- frocks. See one man’s stand for glamour below & take heed.
Proposed Platform Kelley’s platform is simple: redesign the U.S. campaign trail using lobbyists’ monies in more fabulous and sustainable ways! A huge Hillary fan, Kelley was spurred into action by the dismal prospects being considered by the Republican party. In order to make it the legendary campaign we so richly deserve (Get your #GirlPower Snatches the Oval Office! tweets ready to roll! #YGG #OhSnap) In order to appeal to the broadest range of one percenters, Kelley sought inspiration from fiscal conservatives like Warren Buffet, Donald Trump & Super Pac Powerhouse Stephen Colbert to put together a program attractive to people interested in not throwing their money away on an election we already know she’s going to win.
A lady, first or otherwise, in public service. #KeepItClassy2016
Instead, Kelley plans on running against Hillary, creating a reusable campaign trail by renovating her way across the ole U.S. of A, conducting social experiments designed to canvas the entire country via social media networks in order to document exactly where our current government systems are succeeding and where they are failing so that we can start redesigning government with a global perspective in mind, free from media or government-controlled rhetoric. Just the facts, gathered neighborhood by neighborhood, by the people who live there.
Delighted to have found a natural creature comfort kitten and glamorpuss, the Prohibition Party’s groundbreaking demographic benchmarking engine indicates that just about everyone, from tea-partiers to the occupiers, to lobbyists representing massive vested liberal and conservative financial interests find the fact that she decided to heist the family Ava franchise, the real world gangsta’s social Rolodex to be wildly entertaining and highly watchable. As a trained Pinup, Kelley inherently senses how to drive sticky results through strategic positioning. PP is thrilled that Kelley has agreed to run (since she was on the run anyway) not only because of her genuine interest in exploring making as a spiritual practice and source of the next wave of technological advancement, her insights into mental wellness and painting: not simply because she’s still half crazy, easily disoriented & therefore malleable to our agenda. We’re not just getting behind her because of her beauty, wit & creative genius, but also because billions seem to be following her, and that takes a shitload of crap fundraising work off our plates, so we might be able to actually get some work done.
In an informal poll taken in South Central Los Angeles, respondents were asked whether they’d like to spend $5,000,000 on negative campaign ads or on an economic development program benefitting their community. Most responded, “You’re not from around here, are you lady?”
Visual Approximations. Your results probably don’t vary much...
As much as we’ll miss averting our eyes and ears from the social equivalent of throwing battery acid at one another, instead, we’ll throw film and theater festivals, where skits will highlight the the best and worst we’ve ever seen in politics & government. We’ll post em’ to YouTube, watch them trend so we know what’s most important to everyone, have a laugh, then say WTF, let’s not ever do this again. What a fucking waste of time and money.
Cuz She’s Awesome, Unemployed & On The Lam!
#AVA2016
Contact
@BeliefDNA or /BeliefDNA