Talon '10-'11 Quarter 1

Page 1

Br e n t w o o d Ac a d e m y

BA EAGLES: tackling the competition

TA L O N

15

Brentwood  Academy Â

Co-Editors-in-Chief

TALON

Ziger Hufnagle Olivia Meers

First Quarter 2010-2011 Volume 40 Issue 1

Layout and Design Editors Haley Buske Evelyn Kaestner

The Talon is a quarterly publication produced by students at Brentwood Academy.

Staff Writers

Member of the Tennessee High School Press Association

Haley Buske Caroline Cookson

Comments and suggestions are welcome. talon@brentwoodacademy.com

Katherine Denny Evan Ford Ziger Huffnagle

219 Granny White Pike Brentwood, TN 37027

Kristen Jackson Evelyn Kaestner

www.brentwoodacademy.com www.facebook.com/brentwoodacademy www.twitter.com/baeagles

Olivia Meers Luke Newman Taylor Norton Alexa Stallings

On the cover:

The senior survivor games.

Sponsor Barry Robbins

The  Talon  Editors:

BRENTWOOD ACADEMY MISSON STATEMENT: Brentwood Academy is a coeducational, independent, college preparatory school, dedicated to nurturing and challenging the whole person—body, mind, and spirit— to the glory of God. The totally serious editors of Talon who never goof off or partake in anything that has no relevance to their job. .

1

Procrastination Station

by Haley Buske

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ournals, a necessary evil, and procrastination, the result of a tired and rebellious teenage mind, unfortunately come bound together in an ominous bundle RI GLVDVWHU IRU WKH DYHUDJH (QJOLVK VWXGHQW VSHFLÀFDOO\ the average sophomore English student of Mrs. Phillips’ legendary tenth grade honors class. We’ve all heard the stories of the crunch time terrors, epic feats, and close calls associated with journal checks; yet, somehow, we all come to the conclusion that we will survive and end up as better writers for it. It’s boot camp for life, not a fairy tale, Princess. As a rising sophomore, I unwittingly managed to VSHQG P\ ÀQDO JORULRXV days of summer holed up in my room, getting up close and personal with the throes of procrastination as I raced the clock to complete my summer reading. At the time, I savored the hope that this would be the last use of my procrastination skill set, but never have I been so wrong. This year, I’ve only had the experience of surviving one journal check, but one was enough to start the sweaty palm and palpitating heart syndrome of fear. The dread of receiving a big fat zero loomed over P\ KHDG ZLWK WKH VRXO FRQVXPLQJ WHUURU HQJXOÀQJ presence of a dementor. I have nothing to complain of, though. Some of my fellow students have pulled off

great feats of journalistic endurance and perseverance when it comes down to the last tick of the clock. They are the true champions. After swapping a couple of stories with friends, my procrastination seems like a speck in the dust compared to theirs. I was amazed at how they had met the requirements of the journal check. My favorite VWRU\ LV WKH WDOH RI Ă€YH MRXUQDOV ZKLFK ZHUH completed between breakfast and class. The night before the FKHFN ZLWK Ă€YH journals to go, my friend passed out from exhaustion while writing his compilation. He woke up with the dreaded realization of his dire situation and immediately resumed his work. His day consisted of completing one journal before heading to school, one in the car ride to school, one mere moments before the second bell, one during activity period, and his Ă€QDO PDVWHUSLHFH GXULQJ KLV lunch. My nameless friend is QRW WKH Ă€UVW QRU VKDOO KH EH WKH ODVW WR Ă€QG KLPVHOI LQ a bit of a stressful situation due to procrastination. It’s almost laughable that we, as students, subject ourselves to these situations considering that we complain so much about them. As I was interrogating my fellow students about their journal horror stories, one of our upperclassmen had a few important words to say: “Don’t do what I did; however, I can’t regret it because I learned too many lessons, have too many awesome stories, had too much fun when I wasn’t writing my journals, and got in touch with my inner U2.â€?

14

Too Cool For School

by Evan Ford

I

n the city of Brentwood, Tennessee, on Granny White Pike, at a little school called Brentwood Academy, something very strange is happening. It is October— the summer heat is still barely holding on—and kids are walking into school decked out in turtlenecks, sweaters, and coats. If you peek through the windows, you see shivering students—there are only a lucky few who are bundled in blankets or swaddled in Snuggies, and in Mrs. Montgomery’s classroom, huddled closely around her coveted and much adored heater. Outside on Maryland Way, mirages are shimmering, dogs are panting, and businessmen are sweating through their suits and ties. Oddly enough, inside Brentwood Academy, students are doing their best to endure another ice age. Then, as winter rolls DURXQG DQG WKH RXWVLGH ZRUOG JUDGXDOO\ FRROV RII %$ Ànally heats up. Once it’s snowing outside, the school becomes a sauna. This article is a desperate plea from climate-confused students. We would understand if only half of the school was normally sweltering, and we had to cool off the whole

building to be safe. Even if it was freezing cold outside and the school was a bit chilly, we would rather endure that than the sweltering heat. Furthermore, if there were some secret conspiracy to transform the halls and classrooms into some ice-rink utopia, I would throw on a parka and skate to third period. A friend of mine made an interesting point when she speculated that “the excessive air conditioning is probably just a drastic measure to keep girls covered up when the sun’s shining.� Whether or not this is on the administrators’ minds as they hike up the AC, students are compelled to layer sweatshirt upon sweater to stave off the frostbite. However, there is no reason to keep the school’s temperature at such extremes. The air-conditioning must cost a fortune at a time where we want to keep costs low. Students’ hands are trembling so wildly that they can’t even take tests or notes. We wonder why kids are missing school; maybe it’s because they have to sit in the North Pole for seven hours a day. Please, please turn up the thermostat—I’m running out of sweaters.

Weir d an d Wack y Hol id ay s

by Olivia Meers

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appy Teddy Bear Day everybody! Very few people in our society, where the well known and accepted dominate, are familiar with the almost daily celebrations of the lesser-known holidays. What, pray tell, would our teachers, parents, co-workers, and friends say if each morning we greeted them not with a “Hello,� but a hearty, “Happy I Love Nachos Day!� Imagine the shocked looks on their faces as you introduced them to the wonders of holidays they never knew existed. Stop for a moment, close your eyes, and think “what if....� What if on Pajama Day we were to wear our comfy night-time attire as we sat in our chairs listening to teachers lecture on about the importance of the Protestant Revolution and the Law of Cosines. Schools recognize prominent national holidays that celebrate nothing more than the name of a longdeceased man whom most Americans take no true interest in except to revel in the day off from work or school. Events such as wearing pajamas or carrying a teddy bear make the mundane and required activities of daily life surprisingly more bearable.

What if on National Cheer Up the Lonely Day each person made an effort to talk to someone new just to make sure everyone felt included? This is simple and not quite as outrageous as some of the days that I have mentioned, but it would bring about more enthusiasm in people than a day celebrating Martin Luther King Junior or George Washington. Do not misunderstand and think I am undermining the historical importance of these two individuals, but other days are more interesting and likely to bring about actual acknowledgement. Some holidays mark momentous and historychanging moments that have been degraded by time to mere anecdotal days that are laughed at and made fun of. Take, for example, Toilet Day. It marks the day in history that modern plumbing was forever changed from a curse of chamber pots and smelly bathrooms to DXWRPDWLF Ă XVKLQJ WRLOHWV <HW WKLV PRPHQWRXV GD\ KDV been reduced to nothing more than a joke. To many, these holidays may seem inconsequential, unnecessary, and in some cases just downright dumb, but sometimes the world needs a little bit of strangeness to give us a break from the routine normalcy of everyday life.

13

Fear  Factor

by Caroline Cookson

* Disclaimer: All names have been changed to protect the innocent, to prevent further teasing by fellow students, and to allow me to use this special knowledge as power, a form of kryptonite similar to the way in which Superman was kept under control.

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hen signing up for the topic “Fear Factor,â€? I thought that I would be writing about common fears such as heights, public speaking, snakes, or spiders. I was not at all anticipating that many of my fellow Brentwood Academy students would have such odd hidden fears. However, after conductLQJ D ´TXDVL VFLHQWLĂ€FÂľ SROO WKDW FRQVLVWHG RI VSHDNLQJ with several fellow students of both genders and a wide range of grades, I’ve found that this is not the case. It seems that even the bravest of my classmates have fears that are random, irrational, and, in some cases, hilarious! So let me share with you some of the amazing examples of irrational fears that are in the minds of many students you are passing in the hall everyday. Look closely into their eyes, and you will see for yourself.

Mushrooms & Cheese

I encountered two students, let’s call them “Wendy and Jeremiah,� who are afraid of certain edible substances such as mushrooms and cheese. *Wendy explained, “Mushrooms are terrifying things. They have nasty shapes and are a gross, pale color and grow in creepy circles. They have spores that grow inside you if you let them. They’re an evil fungus, and they will kill you.� When asked about his fear, *Jeremiah told me with an air of distaste, “Cheese is gross because it’s just like eating mold. And it smells like feet.� It is safe to say that neither of their diets consists of their aversion, and both live in fear of the Mellow Mushroom.

Ă XVKLQJ WKH PRQVWHUV UDUHO\ DSSHDU &KDUOHV¡ IHDU however, was the one I found most inconvenient. *Charles told me plainly, “I’m afraid of toothpaste because I’m worried there are toxins in the gel. If I were to accidently swallow it, I’d end up in the E.R. with doctors poking around in my intestines.â€? To this, all I could do was tell him not to worry and to try brushing his teeth with something besides water before he got a lot of cavities. Needless to say, he did not respond with a smile.

Crowbars & Windshield Wipers *Jean-Luc was the last person I spoke to. He told PH RI WZR REMHFWV WKDW WHUULĂ€HG KLPÂłWKH FURZEDU and windshield wipers. He told me that Halloween movies had made him scared of these particular items: “Whenever we have to turn on the windshield wipers, or I see someone with a crowbar in hand, I break out into a cold sweat and feel the urge to run away.â€? Now, I thought to myself, that may not be such a bad idea after all, especially late at night on a dark and deserted road.

After hearing all these fears, I did some research on phobias. Most of the sites I visited said that in order to conquer something you are afraid of, you PXVW Ă€UVW JHW IDPLOLDU ZLWK LW ,I \RX OHDUQ D OLWWOH bit about what you are afraid of, you will get more familiar with it, and your fears will start to fade. So, even though it will take hard work and time, these simple suggestions that I have mentioned above can set you on the road to recovery from your fear, whether it is awkward or not. And to help get over your fears even faster, I propose that BA add the following activities over Winterim: (1) a trip to Pizza Buttons, Toilet, & Toothpaste Also, Planet at Disney with an all-you-can-eat-buffet, (2) another lesson I learned during my questioning D ZHHN DW WKH GHQWLVW RIĂ€FH RI \RXU FKRLFH ZLWK IUHH was that everyday objects scare BA students as well. cavity check-up, and (3) a starring role in Friday 13th *Kathy, *Mary, and *Charles all testify to this. *Kathy, Part X. So now you know that you are not alone in when asked, declared that she detests buttons. your fears of the irrational, and that someone out She told me that it used to be really bad in her there who is close to you is probably more scared youth, but that slowly she was working through it. than you about something far less irrational and &RQVHTXHQWO\ VKH QHYHU ZHDUV WKHP 0DU\ FRQĂ€GHG creepy. And for all you drivers out there, please use in me, “Whenever I go into the bathroom where there common sense and don’t pick up the hitchhiker. are doors that enclose it, like a stall, I always have to make sure there is nothing inside the toilet‌like a **Note from the editor— One of the coeditors, who inspired this article, is monster.â€? However, thanks to the miracle of modern afraid of hangers. Now I won’t name names, but she’s not Ziger....

2

Learn  Anatomy,  Pass  English

Hu n gr y f or a Good Book ?

by Olivia Meers

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or those of you who are more artistically minded, the thought of learning anatomy can be a dreaded one, but knowing some basic anatomy can help you to pass your history and English tests alike. The brain is an amazing structure, and sometimes knowing a little bit about how it works can save you hours of unnecessary studying. To begin this down-and-dirty, nitty-gritty lesson RQ WKH LQQHU ZRUNLQJV RI WKH EUDLQ , PXVW Ă€UVW instruct you on the process of a thought. It begins with a synapse (think electrical current) through a neuron (nerve cell). The part of the nerve that the impulse moves across is called an axon. This axon is covered by something called the myelin sheath, and the thicker the sheath, the faster the nerve impulse. Now the myelin sheath gets thicker every time the nerve is used, but it takes about thirty minutes to reset itself before it can grow again. For those of you who have no idea where I’m going with this, let me put it in layman’s terms. Think of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and the part where Harry was punished by Umbridge by having to write “I

ZLOO QRW WHOO OLHVÂľ RYHU DQG RYHU $W Ă€UVW WKH SHQ RQO\ made scratches in his skin, that soon faded, but as he did it a little more every day, the markings stopped fading. So, basically, to sum it up, study a OLWWOH HYHU\ QLJKW DQG WKLQJV ZLOO VWLFN <RXU WHDFKHUV aren’t lying. It’s proven. Before your brains explode from the wealth of information I have provided you with, bear with me for one more tidbit of useful facts. Many times after a test your fellow students will ask, “How was it?â€? The popular response is either “easyâ€? or “hard,â€? not to mention that it’s against BA policy to reply otherwise. A clinical study conducted in a high school class room determined that students, when told a test is hard, are more likely to do worse than those who are told nothing. Conversely, when students are told a test is easy, they are less likely to study as much as they should. So, the moral of the story is, don’t tell people your personal opinions on a test unless you have a vendetta against them, and study a little bit every night in order to be able to recall the information.

Comic Corner

by Evelyn Kaestner

by Luke Newman

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et in a future in which the remains of North America are divided into twelve districts, all of which are controlled by a totalitarian government know as the Capitol, The Hunger Games tells the story of Katniss, a sixteen year old girl who, along with twenty-three other kids aged twelve to eighteen, is dropped into an area reminiscent of a game preserve where they all are forced to hunt one another to the death for the amusement of the Capitol. Clearly, this is not a lighthearted tale; it’s a story of survival and human relationships. In many ways, The Hunger Games is reminiscent RI WKH W\SHV RI VFLHQFH ÀFWLRQ QRYHOV SXEOLVKHG twenty to thirty years ago, in that it balances violence with intellect and emotion, in many ways PDNLQJ LW RQH RI WKH EHWWHU VFLHQFH ÀFWLRQ QRYHOV published recently. Still, this book isn’t lacking in violence; it is a story about a bunch of teenagers WU\LQJ WR NLOO RQH DQRWKHU <HW ZKLOH WKH GHDWKV DUH surprisingly brutal, they remain at the same time poignant, largely because the farther I journeyed into the book, the more I cared about the characters. This is where author Suzanne Collins truly shines; she creates a believable cast of both main and supporting characters who are impossible not to cheer for. The plot and dialogue may be simple at times, but there were points when I was genuinely shocked by some of the twists blended into The Hunger Games. Also, the writing is superb, as Collins describes her environments with just enough detail and crafts a world perfect for the story. There is also

a dark sense of humor within the pages, perfectly complementing the tone of the story. Really, the only minor complaints I have are that at times the

pace of the book slows down, and the editing is sloppy, resulting in some typos, but these shouldn’t discourage anyone from reading the book. The Hunger Games LV D PRUELG VFLHQFH ÀFWLRQ DGYHQWXUH WKDW VWLFNV ZLWK \RX DIWHU \RX ÀQLVK LW I would not recommend this book to everyone, as some might be put off by the savagery in some SDUWV $OVR WKLV LV VFLHQFH ÀFWLRQ DQG PDQ\ PD\ not enjoy hovercrafts and mutated animals the way I do. However, to anyone who craves a good story and desires a tale they can ruminate about long DIWHU WKH\ WXUQ WKH ÀQDO SDJH , XUJH \RX WR ÀQG D copy of this book, especially since I cannot convey the full power of this story in one review. As for me, I’m going to hunt down its two sequels, Catching Fire and Mockingjay DQG ÀQLVK WKH VWRU\

If you think you’ll like The Hunger Games, try reading these books too:

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card *No Child’s Game: Reality TV 2083 by Andrea White *Also published as Surviving Antarctica: Reality TV 2083

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12

Glimmers  of  Hope A

by Taylor Norton

EDG GD\ DW WKH RIĂ€FH LVQ¡W XVXDOO\ D ELJ GHDO deliver food, water, and supplies was a long and tedious 7KH ERVV PLJKW Ă \ RII WKH KDQGOH IRU WKH WKRX- process, it was eventually successful. During the time sandth time, there could be a miniature land- the miners were underground, their major fear was not slide of documents in your cubicle, or maybe that one about food or oxygen, but their psychological health. FR ZRUNHU LV IRUHYHU HQFDVLQJ \RXU RIĂ€FH VXSSOLHV LQ Being trapped thousands of feet below ground with Jell-O. While it may seem like the end of the world to more than thirty other men was expected eventually to us, we can at least tell ourselves, “That’s as bad as it take a mental and emotional toll on the men, but they JHWV ULJKW"Âľ 1RW VR HVSHFLDOO\ LI \RXU RIĂ€FH LV LQ WKH demonstrated extraordinary discipline and weathered San Esteban gold and copper mine in Copiapo, Chile. WKH FRQĂ€QHPHQW ZLWKRXW VLJQLĂ€FDQW SUREOHPV 9LGHR RI On August 6th the miners as well thirty-three Chilas some of their ean miners dealt notes showed that with a landslide, they were in genernot of paper, but ally good spirits, of earth and rock. even cracking the These miners were occasional joke. 2,300 feet below the They seemed very surface when the hopeful and grateceiling of a mine shaft ful for the support suddenly collapsed. of their families. The miners lastNASA, along with ed sixty-eight days teams of physicunder the surface, ians and psychin a 540 square foot ologists, consulted The relatives of the trapped miners light candles and pray for their loved ones living area with with the Chilean imprisoned beneath the ground. temperatures around mining company, HLJKW\ Ă€YH GHJUHHV )DKUHQKHLW DQG KLJK KXPLGLW\ and the successful rescue of all thirty-three miners was Following doctors’ advice, the men used portions completed on October 13th, 2010, sixty-eight days after of a nearby shaft as a latrine in an effort to keep the the initial landslide. immediate area in which they lived as sanitary as Although labor unions have won better pay and possible. EHQHĂ€WV IRU PLQHUV DQG KHDOWKFDUH WHFKQRORJ\ KDV Thankfully, gold and copper mines, unlike coal reduced the occurrence of mining induced conditions PLQHV GR QRW FRQWDLQ Ă DPPDEOH PHWKDQH JDV such as black lung, mining remains a risky occupation. according to a recent MSNBC article. Instead, they Some of its dangers are inherent and inescapable; some contain large pockets of oxygen and, in certain places, are due to error and miscalculation on the part of the fresh water, both of which helped the miners survive companies. as long as they did. A hole was drilled down to their Sadly, tragedies such as this are not uncommon in position, through which a narrow copper tube was the world of mining. In Pennsylvania in 2002 a similar inserted. Packages of supplies called palomas, or doves, incident occurred, in which nine miners were trapped were sent down to them. These packages contained for more than seventy-eight hours after their mine shafts items such as rehydration tablets, packs of glucose gel ZHUH Ă RRGHG ZLWK ZDWHU ,Q $SULO RI WKLV \HDU WZHQW\ to keep their energy up, as well as oxygen and notes nine miners died after an explosion trapped them in from their families. Substantial food was eventually their coal mine. “Patience and faith,â€? wrote one miner. sent down to them, but they had to survive on the “God is great and the help of my God is going to make glucose gel until their digestive systems had time to it possible to leave this mine alive.â€? With motivation adjust to their dietary changes. such as this and the eyes of all the world turned upon Though the effort to drill a tunnel to the miners to them, these miners saw the sun again.

11

GLazEE

by Shannon Evins

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rom Maggie Moo’s to Cold Stone CreamHU\ WR <RJXUW :RUOG %UHQWZRRG DQG )UDQNlin are surrounded by frozen treats. So why would we need another name on this lengthy list of options? Because the people need something new, fresh, and completely homemade, with no mixes or DUWLĂ€FLDO LQJUHGLHQWV 7KLV LV H[DFWO\ ZKDW 0LFKDHO Erin Woody, the owner of GlazĂŠe Artisan Ice Cream and Desserts, located at the corner of the Publix shopping center in Cool Springs, has given us. Mike went against the grain of the typical chain eateries that populate the area and opened his ice cream shop, “to give the people something new,â€? which he sure did, because GlazĂŠe makes the best ice cream I have EVER tasted. )URP XQLTXH Ă DYRUV such as Coconut Curry and Chocolate Bacon to hard-to-beat delicacies OLNH PDGH WR RUGHU ZDIĂ H cones and daily-made hot fudge, GlazĂŠe has everything an ice cream lover could possibly want. Michael makes all the ice cream himself and is constantly trying new ideas. Each week there seems to be some new concoction Mike has whipped up for people to try, and I’m more than happy to be his guinea pig. The fact that one of P\ IDYRULWH Ă DYRUV LV WKH 6DOW\ &DUDPHO $OPRQG Chocolate shows just how amazing the ice cream really is, because I don’t like chocolate ice cream or caramel sauce. After getting to know Mike, partly from going to GlazĂŠe way too much and partly because I liked giving him new ideas to try, I knew I had to spread the word around BA about this ice cream heaven. So I sat down with him one afternoon to get the scoop on the makings of GlazĂŠe. It turns out that Mike grew up in California and majored in civil engineering. He then went to graduate school in public policy at Harvard. When he came to Nashville, he began work on opening a shop. In March of 2010, after

WKUHH PRQWKV RI FRQVWUXFWLRQ *OD]pH Ă€QDOO\ RSHQHG IXOĂ€OOLQJ 0LNH¡V OLIHORQJ GUHDP ,W VRRQ EHFDPH D huge hit, all by word of mouth. To further demonstrate the uniqueness of his shop, Michael created the name GlazĂŠe based on the French word for ice cream, crème glacĂŠe. Mike’s brother helped him to design the logo, and his parents assisted in the shop’s design. GlazĂŠe’s best sellers are Almond Joy and Bananas Foster, although Mike’s personal favorite is vanilla with his homemade hot fudge on top. (A little side note: even the vanilla is unordinary! Michael tasted all types of vanilla beans from around the world and decided on an Indonesian vanilla rather than the Madagascar variety, typical of vanilla extract and baked goodies.) Now, along with constantly Ă€JXULQJ RXW Ă DYRUV WKDW people will love, Mike is working on hot baked apple turnovers to serve with the ice cream in the colder months. Until then, I urge everyone to try the Double Stuffed Oreo, as Michael worked for months to get the chocolate to taste just like the chocolate of an Oreo cookie. The Bee Hive Crunch, a honey-based ice cream, is also a tasty choice. One of my personal favorites, The Pineapple Upside-Down Cake, is fantastic, and for all those tradition-lovers, don’t worry! GlazĂŠe has classics like Vanilla, Chocolate, Cake Batter, and Red Velvet. Although I didn’t discover GlazĂŠe for myself until early August, it has become a more than weekly stop for me. If you have any questions about GlazĂŠe or what it has to offer (which includes gelato, sorbet, and coffee along with all that ice cream) please just FRPH Ă€QG PH EHFDXVH , VHOI SURFODLP WKDW , KDYH become obsessed. The only downfall of GlazĂŠe, if there can indeed be one, is that it may not have \RXU IDYRULWH Ă DYRU HYHU\ WLPH \RX JR EXW WKDW LV the price you pay for quality, and well worth it, if you ask me.

4

Point Counter Point

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Pro

ustin Bieber is the best mistake ever. His ballads are lullabies, his smile is dentist approved, and his voice comes from that light inside the refrigerator. When Usher met Justin two years ago, he was impressed. Since that day, Justin has recorded two albums, performed for the president, and topped the charts worldwide. Haters say that his music is not art, and they are right. His songs exist to entertain the teen generation. He wants us to dance and relate to his music the way only sixteen-year olds can. Why, he’s so relatable that he could attend Brentwood Academy and roll like a BA bro. Justin would do what everyone here does. He would do homework, go to football games, and eat a PB and

by Katherine Denny

J(B) sandwich every day for lunch. Furthermore, Justin would get top grades in Literature. He proves that he knows poetry in the song “First Dance.� All he would have to say to the teacher is, “Before the lights go off and the music turns off, now’s the perfect time for me to taste your lip gloss,� and that teacher would be blown away by his command of language. He looks like a bunny and sings like a woman, but he is our bunny and our effeminate singer. Nobody can replace his charm, voice, or love for his fans. His heart and foolishly fun approach to music make him a teenpop superhero. Timberlake should step down; there’s a new guy with mass appeal and interesting hair in town. Most call him Bieber.

by Evelyn Kaestner as he possibly could as a joke, the media actually took him seriously. So they decided to use him as failure PXVLFLDQ -XVWLQ %HLEHU a puppet and make him sing clichÊ love songs, while sounding like a girl, which brings me to my next XVWLQ %HLEHU <RX HLWKHU ORYH KLP WR D SRLQW RI VLFN point: He. Can’t. Sing. At all. Just‌ no. Puberty is goobsession or you passionately wish you were the ing to hit that kid like a train. He hits notes only dogs lucky soul who hit him in the head with a water bot- can hear, yet tone deaf teenagers across the nation love tle. Unless you couldn’t tell by the warning label above, his music. When you think about it, is it really Justin this article is dedicated to the hitting-Justin-Beiber-in- Beiber’s fault for having no talent? Or is it the Beiber Fethe-head-with-a-water-bottle side of the argument. The ver plagued teenagers’ fault for cluttering the radios of kid makes more money off of his face than his music, the innocent with music that ignites peoples’ eardrums the music that he does compose isn’t even good, and LQWR D ÀUH\ YRUWH[ RI SDLQ :KDW , DP WU\LQJ WR H[SUHVV his last name has been widely confused with a large in this obviously con article concerning Justin Beiber is North American mammal with gigantic front teeth. By that Justin Beiber has absolutely no talent. Thank you posting youtube videos of himself singing as horribly for your time. :DUQLQJ WR DOO WKRVH ZKR DUH -XVWLQ %HLEHU IDQV WKLV

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Dirty Hippie Pants It’s day three, and my legs and I are sitting in a Starbucks wearing skinny jeans. This is a situation I have never before found myself in. My quest for a journalistic edge, an unusual angle, or perhaps sheer cultural curiosity has led me, a tie-wearing anti-coffeeshop Renaissance young man, to don denim bondage in a hippie temple. My capillaries may be pinched shut, but my eyes are wide open. My pant paradigm shift began as early as the backto-school-picnic when I, dressed in my favorite summer suit (think Miami Vice meets GQ), rolled up to Ryan Minnigan, who was at the time sporting a bandana around his neck, shorts that descended below his knees, and a home-made t-shirt which read “Save the Skinnies!â€? Curious, I inquired as to the garment’s meaning. To paraphrase, he informed me that Brentwood Academy had a new rule outlawing skinny pants throughout the land, and that this, clearly, was totally bogus. I didn’t give it much thought, being personally averse to skinny pants as a male fashion choice. However, it was several weeks later when, as I passed Ryan in the hallway, stirring the memory of his disestablishmentary “Save the Skinnies!â€? shirt that was almost an alliteration, I thought, Why do men wear WLJKW SDQWV LQ WKH Ă€UVW SODFH DQG ZK\ GRHV %$ FDUH" It was then that I decided to immerse myself in this trend and SHUVRQDOO\ Ă€QG RXW ZKDW WKH DWWUDFWLRQ ZDV %XW Ă€UVW , needed a mentor, someone to get me started, someone to help me put on some pants; and who better to get me started than the skinny savior himself. Inspired by his devotion to the trend (he picked it up because of its popularity in his favored musical career SDWK , YHQWXUHG WR Ă€QG D SDLU RI P\ RZQ 7KLV ZRXOG OHDG PH WR P\ Ă€UVW XQFRPIRUWDEOH VLWXDWLRQ , MRXUQH\HG WR WKH mall, bit my pride, and descended into a dark, cologne drenched store, walking by a shirtless model-man-boy in a hat, who nodded at me. I made eye contact with this man. This was an uncomfortable moment because he was half naked, and we were neither at the beach nor in a pool. I proceeded to the empty checkout counter to ask IRU GLUHFWLRQV WR D VNLQQ\ SDQWV VKHOI DQG D Ă DVKOLJKW WR KHOS PH Ă€QG P\ ZD\ WKHUH WKURXJK WKH EODFN DQG ZKLWH photos of man-skin. A man with a strong jaw line and frosted tips, who was probably named something like Eric or Chad, looked at me with his sapphire blue eyes and asked if I needed help, adding “broâ€? at the end. I almost expected a wink. I mumble-whispered something

by Ziger Huffnagle

along the lines of “Could you‌where skinny pants‌my size?â€? I felt nervous, as if what I was doing was illegal. He somehow understood, continuing to inform me that they didn’t “really have those ‘cause I guess they didn’t sell ‘er something, but you are free to look around.â€? I chose not to look around. When I got home, feeling that actually wearing the pants was a ridiculous idea anyway, I began to research the history of pants. Interestingly enough, I found that, ZKHQ MHDQV Ă€UVW HQWHUHG WKH IDVKLRQ VFHQH LQ WKH ¡V WKURXJK -DPHV 'HDQ¡V LQĂ XHQFH WKH\ ZHUH QRW VNLQQ\ by today’s standards, but tight and straight-legged. True skinny jeans originated as early as the sixties, sported by rockers of the day. They were carried through parabolic trends in acceptance by loyal artists such as the Rolling Stones, until their recent uprising with the scene and hipster movements, beginning roughly in 2001, back in the day when Green Day was pretty awesome. After researching, I happened to recall my own history, and that back in middle school in a moment of weakness I had bought my own pair of skinny jeans, aspiring to become a skateboarding multi-millionaire rock star. I tenderly placed them around my legs, examining myself in the mirror. This was ridiculous. I don’t even wear jeans. At all. I’m in dress code until I go to bed (you never know when you will die, and I want to look good in that moment). Beyond that, I’m simply not the right shape for this. People who wear skinny jeans are built like publicVFKRRO SL]]DÂłUHFWDQJXODU DQG Ă DW ,¡P WKLFN KLSSHG DQG have dinosaur legs, with muscles that look like a balloon pinched at the kneecap in these pants. So I wore these pants for three days (pants never get dirty) at Starbucks after school while I did homework. Just being at Starbucks alone made me feel like an intellectual, but the pants made me feel like a member of a chic club. I had the uniform, so I must be in. I realized this when my brown-eyed barista Kevin told me on the third day that he liked my jeans. Whether this was a genuine comment or a nudge to the notion that he noticed I’d worn them for three days, I don’t know. My experience gave me a different perspective and an appreciation for counter-culture, but, in conclusion, I uphold the same opinion of tight pants as The Most Interesting Man in the World, the famous character from an ad campaign, who states through his manly beard and Spanish accent, “Gentlemen, if I can count the quarters in your pocket, you better use them to call a tailor.â€?

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Jacklyn’s Journeysby Kristen Jackson

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DFNO\Q 9DQGHUSRRO Ă€UVW GLVFRYHUHG KHU OLIH¡V DPELtion the day her father began offering his medical services to needy countries around the world. In the year 2005, shortly after the devastating Hurricane Katrina hit, Jacklyn decided to put her God-given blessings to work by following in her father’s footsteps and lending a helping hand to those in need. Jacklyn serves as a wonderful example of how we all should aspire to DFW DV &KULVWLDQV UHĂ HFWLQJ WKH ORYH &KULVW UHYHDOV WR XV in the joy of serving others. I was given the privilege of getting to know Jacklyn when interviewing her about her missionary work and was genuinely inspired. She is truly a remarkable person with respect to the goals she has set for herself, and I wish her the very best as she continues to serve in the future. So tell us, Jacklyn...

Hallowed Grounds

considering any missionary based careers? Jacklyn: My plans for the future are one day to build an orphanage and later, as a career, to become a nurse practitioner.

Me: What is your favorite story about your work? Jacklyn: One day I was driving with my dad when the police appeared out of nowhere asking for my dad’s driver’s license and registration. He handed his OLFHQVH DQG LQIRUPDWLRQ WR WKH RIÀFHU EXW WKH SROLFH took the paper out of his hand and claimed that my GDG QHYHU KDG SRVVHVVLRQ RI LW LQ WKH ÀUVW SODFH 0\ dad was taken to the nearby jail, which was a tiny mud hut, where sitting at the door was a drunken guard holding his automatic weapon and another man with a guitar leading everyone in a song. My mom was back in Nashville when she got the phone call from my dad explaining what had happened. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t think anything of the situation and wasn’t worried a bit!

Me: What interesting destinations has your family visited in volunteer work? Jacklyn: We have visited a total of eighteen different countries, but out of those the most interesting were Haiti, South Africa, Mozambique, Honduras, and Israel.

Me: Did you try any interesting foods while on a Me: What exactly did you do there? Jacklyn: Well, my dad is a surgeon, so most of my

mission?

Jacklyn: , KDYH GHĂ€QLWHO\ WULHG VRPH LQWHUHVWLQJ

day was spent in the mobile clinics assisting in the surgeries. Usually my job was to give the shots and draw blood.

food; however, I try never to ask what it is, just in case. I can say that I tried alligator and hamster once, which I do not recommend.

Me: How long have you done this? What was the

Me:What was your favorite mission trip? Jacklyn: ,¡YH EHHQ WR +DLWL Ă€YH WLPHV VLQFH WKH

inspiration?

Jacklyn: Mobile Medical Disaster Relief (MDDR)

earthquake, so I would say my heart is set on Haiti at the moment. Every place I go grasps my heart, and then the next trip does the exact same.

was founded in 2005, shortly after Hurricane Katrina hit. My dad was a true inspiration, and I admire the IDFW WKDW KH KDV IXOĂ€OOHG ZKDW WKH /RUG KDV FDOOHG KLP to do. I was also inspired by one of my favorite Bible verses: “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed.â€? (Luke 4:18)

Me: Any encouraging words for those who are interested in going on a mission? Jacklyn: 1HYHU OHW IHDU RU ÀQDQFLDO SUREOHPV JHW LQ the way. If you know that it’s what God wants you to do with your life, then go for it! Don’t let anything keep you from doing what you love.

Me: What are your family’s future plans? Jacklyn: My brother left with my mom to go to Haiti

Me: All right, thank you so much for meeting with me and good luck on your future missions.

on September 3rd, and our family plans to continue our service when we set off for Ghana in November.

Jacklyn is an inspiration to all. Her kind heart and hardworking spirit make her an outstanding addition to the BA family.

Me: How do you plan to serve in the future? Are you

9

by Ziger Huffnagle

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very culture has a highly esteemed institution, which holds an outstanding amount of power. For the ancients, this place was the theatre, and for the pilgrims, it was the church. Today, that place is the coffee shop. There are over 108 million coffee drinkers in the U.S., most of whom are patrons of one of Starbucks’ eight thousand establishments. However, many of them don’t realize the true role of the coffee shop in their own society. Without a doubt, the most powerful coffee chain is Starbucks, which dominates the new black gold, as the UAE dominates oil. The second most popular brewery is Caribou Coffee, which claims its place beneath Starbucks with seven thousand fewer stores than the monopolizing mermaid. With its high-priced Italian-named cups of java, Starbucks rakes in 156 million dollars per year. So, knowing that Starbucks LV PDMRUO\ EHQHĂ€WHG E\ $PHULFDQV KRZ GRHV LW EHQHĂ€W us? Firstly, Starbucks functions both as a moral thermometer and compass. Their brews have high SULFHV EHFDXVH WKH\ DUH FHUWLĂ€HG DV D ´IDLU WUDGHÂľ company, which ensures that every person involved in forming that cup of coffee, from the barista to

the planter, gets their fair share. Also, Starbucks encourages activities such as recycling and is an RA 5DLQIRUHVW $OOLDQFH FHUWLĂ€HG HVWDEOLVKPHQW :KHWKHU the caring coffee house does this because people think that it’s fashionable, or these things are considered fashionable because Starbucks does them, is hard to tell. Either way, the effect is undeniable. Bright-eyed intellectuals, Green Peace advocates, and dirty hippies alike all seem to stand as constant sentries to the FRPĂ€HVW FKDLUV LQ HYHU\ 6WDUEXFNV DFURVV WKH QDWLRQ In addition, Starbucks and coffee itself hold an inexplicable position in our culture. When seeking a casual get together, a person will often invite another “just for a cup of coffee,â€? whether that person is our C.E.O. or that cute blonde from class. We drink coffee to gear up for work or to wind down after dinner. No matter how you stir it, coffee is the designated social drink of the U.S. Coffee has become deeply integrated into our culture, and with as many different brews and blends of the drink as there are types and trends of people, each of us has our place in our neighborhood watering hole of java. Personally I look for the same qualities in coffee as in women— blonde and sweet.

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UPPER SCHOOL RETREAT SEPTEMBER 18, 2010 Dear Friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12-�13

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