IN EVERY ISSUE
the last word
PODCAST
26 WAYS TO KNOW
You Might Be a Mom of All Boys BY SANDI HAUSTEIN
Coming from a family of all girls, I never pictured myself as a boy mom. But one, two, three rambunctious boys later, I’m kneedeep in the waters of Legos, mud, and potty words, and it doesn’t look like I’m getting out anytime soon. You, too, may be a mom of boys. Read on to find out.
YO U M I G H T BE A MOM OF A L L BOYS IF…
1.
Your kids scream and hide their eyes every time a Disney princess gets kissed.
14. Flatulence is followed by laughter instead of red cheeks in
2. You know all of the best spots for catching frogs,
15. Your children take pride in bruises, Band-Aids, and
3. You have PTSD from being sprayed in the face by a fountain
16. You cook meals in large quantities (and they’re still
salamanders, and crawdads.
your house. stitches.
of urine during diaper changes.
hungry).
4. Your kids know all of the characters in Star Wars. 5. Pillow fights and wrestling with Daddy are the best part of
17. The only way your kids will play with Barbies is with
6. Your couch cushions double as fort walls. 7. You have no trouble finding someone to kill a spider for you. 8. You can tie a superhero cape around a neck in less than 10
throw rocks in the water.
9. You hear siblings screaming and slamming doors one
21. Anything, including a vacuum attachment, can become a
10. Your children wear their underwear backwards just so the
22. You’ve been asked to feel someone’s muscles today. 23. You’ve tried every household cleaner known to man but
your kids’ day.
seconds.
minute, then sounds of laughter and happy playing the next.
big Buzz Lightyear can be on the front.
11. You are sadly familiar with the stabbing pain of stepping on a Lego.
12. You own multiple pairs of cleats, football pads, or baseball gloves.
13. Your kids not only know their ABCs, they can burp them proudly. 68
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scissors and matches.
18. You’ve sat for an hour in front of a creek while your kids 19. One of your kids wants to be a ninja spy when he grows up. 20. Your children are more experienced in “giving trees a drink” than using a restroom.
sword at any moment.
still can’t get rid of the urine smell around the toilet.
24. You’ve gotten your kids to eat spaghetti and meatballs by
calling it “worms and eyeballs.”
25. You have a hard time finding another cup for the new
handful of “flowers” outstretched in the hands in front of you.
26. Your kids treat you like the only princess around. ■
