THE CHILD’S MOURNING

IT IS IMPORTANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT MOTIVATES CHILDREN’S INTEREST, CAREFULLY OBSERVE WHAT THEY ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT, WHAT TRIGGERS THEIR HAPPINESS AND THEIR RESOUNDING SMILE.

Situations that fill them with joy should be observed, such as accompanying a pet, but that can make them sad or self-absorbed at the time of their surprise loss.

It is possible that when the family says goodbye to their companion animal, infants share memories of complicity they had with them, for example: when they received them when they got home from school, when they went for a walk and even when they were sick in bed, among many other activities. It is at this point where the adult can accompany them in grieving, identifying and understanding this situation from the perspective of a dignified farewell. Adrián Rodríguez-Granada Madrid, General Manager of Pets in the Sky, a pet funeral agency, has witnessed the sadness that in these difficult moments invades all members of the family, but more deeply the children.

“Some show a lot of strength, they understand the process very well, they see it as a natural farewell; however, for others it is very difficult, they show their feelings through overflowing crying, they do not understand what is happening and it is difficult for them to assimilate at that moment that they will not see it again. Given this, it is very important to redirect that moment towards the beautiful memory, towards the evocation of a dignified farewell in the midst of the pain and strangeness of the loss”, shared Rodríguez-Granada Madrid.

In PETS IN THE SKY, they witness families saying goodbye to their pets. It does not matter if it was a cat, a dog, a turtle or some other species, what is important is the bond that is formed between all the members and the transition that their departure implies.

They know that it is important for children to learn about the process of life and death, which is why they have a toy library, among other areas, so that accompanied by their families they can have a duel based on understanding, love and empathy.

Many people do not realize how traumatic and confusing death can be for a child. At his young age, his universe is not so big, compared to that of adults, it is at this point that his relatives must be alert to identify situations that can make him sad or even lead to a change in behavior. In most cases, the loss of a pet is a child’s first experience of death. Parents can’t stop their children from feeling the pain of losing their friend, but they can help make the grieving process as healthy and manageable as possible.

For example, it should be known that the situation will not be solved by telling the little one that another pet will be bought or given to him, so that with that promise he stops crying. Even, in some oriental cultures, the signs of pain are manifested openly, they are not repressed, but they cry and lament, in this way the feelings of regret are gradually eliminated. Crying when a pet dies is a sincere expression of what you’re feeling at the time, it’s not corny or showing weakness.

According to a study conducted by Dr. Joshua Russel, an assistant professor at Canisius College, children between the ages of 6 and 13 don’t see their pets as just animals, but see them as siblings or best friends with whom they have strong emotional ties. That is why it is important to give the child the opportunity to talk about how he feels, and to let them explore his feelings.

by ADRIÁN RODRÍGUEZ-GRANADA MADRID [ @PETSINTHESKY

CHILDREN UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE LONGER-LONG-LASTING SPECIES. The same author suggests that children have a notion of how long a normal life cycle lasts for various animal species. For example, they understand that some pets like fish or hamsters have a short life cycle, but this is unexpected for dogs, cats, or rabbits. The study revealed that although children grieved over the loss of their pet, they are more likely to accept the death of an animal that lived its entire life cycle.

CELEBRATING LIFE, There are many ways that children and their families can honor the life of their recently departed pet, one of which may be through ceremonies (regardless of faith) such as those held at at Pets in the Sky in the Last Goodbye Rooms, where the family gathers to give thanks for the happy times they shared together.

Families can keep the ashes at home in an urn, which may have characteristics that they consider best represent the personality that their pet had: design, color and material now take on a new meaning. There are also urn options in which it is possible to place photographs, similar to a memory album, or plant a tree using biodegradable urns that serve as compost. There are even options to always keep the pet close to the heart through charms or bracelets that children can use. Involving them to participate in this process can help them deal better with death, preferably with the support of a specialist in the field.

Accepting the death of our companion animal (whatever its species) is undoubtedly one of the most difficult tasks we face, however, when handled correctly, the loss can be a valuable opportunity to say goodbye to that being that accompanied us during a journey of our lives, and will undoubtedly leave a mark on our hearts.