There is one November tradition my family never sleeps on: our annual viewing of a true Thanksgiving movie, John Hughes’ Planes, Trains & Automobiles, starring Steve Martin (Neal) and the great late John Candy (Del).
The classic’s quotes are ingrained in our family dialogue, but only once a year do we remind ourselves how much we love this film. It’s a road trip comedy with a tender inside, driving home the point that who we meet along the way is what makes the journey.
This month, we’re introducing a brand-new, periodic column about frugal living authored by Kathryn Luppi. Kathryn reached out to Forever Young with this idea and
Never miss a Forever Young ! Subscribe for $12/year! Call 716-972-2238 or fill out and mail in the subscription form on page 24.
we’re thrilled to be sharing it with you this month.
As I reflect on my past six months at Forever Young, I am grateful for connections—like the one with Kathryn—that I’ve made on this journey, as well as for the opportunity to connect with our incredible region in a whole new way.
Happy Thanksgiving—however you may celebrate.
Meagan Walker Doxtad Executive Editor
Photo by Luke Copping
FOREVER YOUNG *NOVEMBER RESOURCES
*PLEASE CONTACT EVENT/PROGRAM ORGANIZERS TO CONFIRM INFORMATION PROVIDED Do you have an event or resource to list? Email it to mdoxtad@foreveryoungwny.com.
Buffalo HEADWAY SUPPORT GROUPS For individuals who have sustained brain injuries, their families, and caregivers; exchange information and resources, and find mutual support and encouragement. Info: 408-3100 or headwayofwny.org.
Buffalo PARKINSON’S CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP meets on the first Thursday of each month at Elma Town Hall (1600 Bowen Road). Call or text Marcia 553-3030 for more information.
Buffalo ZERO/US TOO! PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets on the first Tuesday of each month at the Buffalo VA Hospital (3495 Bailey Avenue, Room 301) 7-9 p.m. and at Sisters Hospital, St. Joe’s Campus (2605 Harlem Road in the First Floor Community Room) 7-9 p.m., on the third Tuesday of each month. Free and open to all.
Buffalo LGBTQ MEMORY LOSS CAREGIVERS PROGRAM: The Pride Center of WNY offers support and education for people providing care for a person with Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementias. For information: 852-7743 or pridecenterwny.org.
Clarence WNY MEDICARE SMART START PROGRAM offers free help applying for Medicare. WNY MEDICARE SMARTSAVER PROGRAM offers free help to review, research, maximize coverage, and minimize out-of-pocket expenses. Services offered through WNY Medicare Resource Center. Info: 833-0252 or wnymedicare.org.
Depew BREAST CANCER NETWORK OF WNY Call 7060060 or visit bcnwny.org for more information.
Derby GRAYCLIFF DOCENTS NEEDED Upon completion of the Graycliff Docent Training Program, trainees will have the knowledge and confidence to present the stories of Graycliff to visitors in their
own way. Explore opportunities at: experiencegraycliff.org/support/ volunteer.
East Aurora CHRONIC PAIN/ FIBROMYALGIA SUPPORT
GROUP meets at First Baptist Church (591 Porterville Road, East Aurora) from 10-11:30 a.m. on the third Saturday of each month. Facilitators are Sue Allen, retired RN; Rev. Dr. Barbara Hulsing; and Diane Weston, MA. Meetings will also be available via Zoom; contact Barbara at barb.hulsing@gmail.com or 5740164 for info.
Erie County FOSTER GRANDPARENT PROGRAM
Erie County residents ages 55+: stay active and reap social-emotional health benefits by developing one-on-one relationships with children in a school setting. Stipend included. For info: 896-6388 or ccwny.org/older-adults.
Erie County RECEIVE OR MAKE A FRIENDLY CALL! Participants and caring volunteers are sought for the free Catholic Charities’ Telephone Assurance Program (TAP) geared to adults 60+ and adults with disabilities who experience loneliness due to isolation. Volunteers must be at least 21 years old; all training is provided. To learn more about receiving calls volunteering, contact Catholic Charities at 262-6164 or TAP@ccwny.org.
Gowanda HEALTHY COMMUNITY ALLIANCE
Activities open to the public age 50+ (no residency requirements), Concord Senior Center, 1 School Street, Gowanda; for schedule, visit communityalliance.org; 532-1010.
Hamburg ALZHEIMER’S CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP for males; call 626-0600 or visit alz.org/wny for info.
Niagara Falls SENIOR COMPANION/FOSTER GRANDPARENT PROGRAM
Looking for seniors who enjoy working with their peers or children.
Volunteers receive a tax-free stipend, transportation assistance, and supplemental insurance coverage while volunteering. If you are 55+ and want to make a difference, call 2858224 Jennifer Britton (ext. 217) for Senior Companions and Kelly Carr (ext. 228) for Foster Grandparents.
Niagara Falls SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB: This active 50+ crowd holds Meet & Greets second Fridays at Tim Hortons (8500 Niagara Falls Boulevard) and dances third Friday at Buff Social Club (2565 Young St.). For more info, see Facebook: SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB or call 550-1232.
Northtowns SOARING SPIRITS
WNY Widowed people meet for conversation, meals, and support. Ongoing meetings take place at Hillview Restaurant (6135 Transit Road) and Family Tree Restaurant (4336 North Bailey Avenue). Learn more at soaringspirits.org and on Facebook. For information, contact Toni (admucilli@gmail.com) or Debbie (howndeb@hotmail.com).
Online IMAGINE BUFFALO SPEAKER SERIES Presented by the Buffalo & Erie County Public Library in conjunction with C-SAAHN and ImagineLifelongLearning.com via Zoom every Tuesday at 12:30 p.m. Each week features a local speaker and Q&A. FREE. Visit website for Zoom link: buffalolib.libcal.com.
Online LAUGHTER WELLNESS
Come as you are, just bring your laughter! Tuesdays at 11 a.m. FREE. Visit facebook.com/BuffaloLaughers for information.
Southtowns NEW HORIZONS MUSIC Calling all musicians 50+. For info, email Janet Stout at 354janet@gmail.com and visit newhorizonsmusic.org.
Williamsville MCGUIRE GROUP MEMORY CARE SUPPORT:
Coordinated with the Alzheimer’s Association, with caregiving tips and coping mechanisms. Info: 632-3700 or mcguiregroup.com.
West Seneca PARKINSON’S SOCIAL GROUP Make new friends every third Wednesday of the month at 6 p.m. at St. John’s Evangelical Lutheran Church (3512 Clinton Street). Info: 674-3287 or recmab@aol.com.
Multiple Locations TOPS CLUBS Take Off Pounds Sensibly Clubs offer tools, programs, support, and fellowship for healthy living and weight management.
Akron For info, call Diane 542-4980
Niagara Falls For info, call Shelley 550-1232
Farnham For info, call 934-9619
Lancaster For info, call Eva 407-0539
Silver Creek For info, call 680-0313
Tonawanda For info, call 693-5161
West Seneca For info, call 474-9125 www.tops.org
Digging out undesirable plants
“Sweet flowers are slow and weeds make haste”
Ilove to walk in the garden in November, but it can be satisfying or very distressing! I am amazed at some of the unwanted, undesirable plants that show up in my gardens because I really do weed. However, we can miss some plants when they are surrounded by the ones we chose. Over the years, I have dug out or had someone else dig out several.
The first is ragweed, the cause of many people’s fall allergies. This native species has spread all over North America from the Southwest. This annual dies from the first frost, but with climate change, the killing frost is later than it used to be. If you still find live plants, dig them up carefully and dispose of them before they release pollen. (People often ask if plants from here have become invasive in other parts of the world. The answer yes; ragweed is one of them!)
Ground ivy, or Creeping Charlie, is an invasive species brought here by
Europeans who used it as a green part of their diet. It’s rather pretty—and edible too! However, it will take over not only your garden but also your woodlands. Dig it; don’t pull it please!
Non-native stinging nettle is spread by seeds and underground stolons, but you may have gotten it along with a purchased plant. It hitchhikes! I deliberately planted it in my herb garden as it makes a wonderful spinach-like vegetable or tonic in the spring. However, I am super sensitive to its stinging cells, so I dig it up whenever I find it. It has spread in my gardens and surprises me with blisters when I’m cultivating; most people simply get a tingling feeling from the stinging cells. I worry it will spread to my neighbor’s garden beds, so I dig it out whenever I see or feel it.
I bet you have yellow wood sorrel (Oxalis stricta) in some of your gardens. Some call it “clover” because it is a relative of the shamrock plants sold for St. Patrick’s Day, but it’s actually a North American native. Don’t pull it out! Dig it. If you don’t mind having it, leave it.
I also found Purple Loosestrife in my garden! Years ago, it was a common invasive weed in New York State. Biological control was attempted with leaf feeding beetles, flower bud feeding weevils, and root feeding weevils, but it’s gradually returning. Purple Loosestrife is easily spread by wind, people, and animals as its seeds are very light. Yes, I know it is pretty, but it displaces native species. Out it goes! I noted a tree coming up in a garden border but while I got busy, it thrived. When I finally got a good look, it was Buckthorn, another highly invasive species spread by birds. It edges out native plant species not only in the garden but also in natural places. I found it interesting botanically but had it dug out.
If you love Jerusalem artichokes, good for you. Jim and I both dislike this Central U.S. native species. They do produce an abundance of sunflowers in late autumn so if you do plant them, grow them in a barrel or other confining container. A friend gave them to me years ago, and I am
Milne’s Eeyore said, “Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.”
still digging them out; they really spread!
I have been growing milkweed for years to support monarch butterflies. If you do this, grow Asclepias incarnata not Asclepias syriaca; the latter aggressively produces hundreds of seeds and deep burrowing roots. Out!
You may have found a “wild morning glory” in your gardens. It is usually called field bindweed (and other names inappropriate for this column!). Another non-native species, this perennial climbs up your garden plants and produces small pinkish to white flowers. Since it is a perennial, pulling it out will only guarantee its return next year; dig it!
So many interesting weeds! Did you know that Cornell University has a Weed Science Teaching Garden? It is open to visitors.
I love hearing from you: caharlos@ verizon.net FY
Carol DiPirro-Stipkovits is a member of both the National Genealogical Society and Association of Professional Genealogists. Carol is also vice president and board chairman of the Niagara County Genealogical Society. Contact her at noellasdaughter@gmail.com.
CAROL ANN HARLOS
David Rumsey Historical Map Collection
Maps and genealogy research
Ihaveloved maps since grade school, and I’m still fascinated by them. I’ve been gifted several over the years and my home now has a dedicated wall to hold the collection of both those and estate sale finds, which includes a large pull-down from a local elementary classroom dated 1964. Am I aging myself? Do these still exist?
Understandably, when I discovered the David Rumsey Historical Map Collection, I was thrilled. David Rumsey is President of Cartography Associates, a digital publishing company based in San Francisco. In 1980, after a successful career in real
estate, Rumsey, who is clearly even more fascinated with maps than I am, began to collect eighteenth and nineteenth century maps of North and South America, the era during which modern cartography began. Eventually, he expanded his collection
to rare sixteenth through twentyfirst century maps of America, North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Pacific, Arctic, Antarctic, and the world. The collection now contains over 150,000 maps and other cartographic items and is one of the largest private map collections in the world. In 1995, Rumsey made his collection available to the public by building the online David Rumsey Historical Map Collection. There are now over 130,000 items online with new additions being added regularly. The collection is available on his website davidrumsey.com for free viewing.
How can these maps help genealogists? Old maps bring your ancestors’ hometowns to life. They give you a glimpse at what the world looked like when your ancestors lived there and what was happening at that time. You can also see borders change over the years.
To search this collection, find as much information about your ancestor’s hometown as possible— country, state, ancestral town name, other geographical details such as nearby villages, rivers, railways, etc. These are all clues to find the right place on a map. I pay attention to railways as I have ancestors who were employed as trainmen so likely lived close by. Use the search box at the top right of the site. If you can’t locate your ancestral town, try searching nearby village names.
If your ancestor lived in an area that was involved in a disaster, say the Chicago Fire or San Francisco earthquake, using these as search terms may show reconstruction plans
or detailed drawings of buildings that were damaged or destroyed.
The newest feature is “search by text on maps,” which can be accessed next to the search box. A quick search of “Tonawanda” came back with 694 results. The maps can be viewed by hovering your cursor over each result. When you find a map you’re interested in, choose ‘Open in Georeferencer’ and use one of my favorite tools on this site: map overlays. There’s so much you can do with this feature including overlaying it with a modern map to find lost street names. You’ll want to play with opacity until its easily readable. Clicking Compare in the bottom right will give you additional maps of the same area.
This is a wonderful free site for you to explore. Happy hunting! FY
Carol DiPirro-Stipkovits is a member of both the National Genealogical Society and Association of Professional Genealogists. She is also Vice-President and Board Chairman of the Niagara County Genealogical Society
“Mom’s
in a Nursing Home and Needs Medicaid.”
“Can I Do This Application Myself?”
When a family member in a nursing home runs out of money, the facility sta often advises applying for Medicaid. You think, “I am smart, I am educated, I am her power of attorney, so why should I pay a company to represent her for Medicaid?” Summit Health Care Solutions President Darlene Maclay says this is the most asked question she hears from families inquiring about hiring Summit to represent their loved one.
Maclay’s answer: of course you can do it yourself, but why would you? It takes months to complete the process, it’s complicated, time sensitive, and often frustrating. But most importantly, Maclay reminds families that spending time with your loved one is more important than spending time with paperwork.
“Why irritate yourself when we can do it for you?” she asks.
Summit Health Care Solutions has been representing nursing home and assisted living residents for Medicaid for over twenty years. During that time, the company has expanded to provide Medicaid services to hospitals, as well as representation services in all counties in New York State plus twenty-two other states. Maclay is proud to describe Summit as a boutique
company where “our services are personal, our relationships are our priority, our cost is a ordable, and, unlike any other company or law rm our services are 100 percent guaranteed.”
Maclay, Kate Schaefer, Laura Laurrie, and their team are nursing home professionals with a passion for the elderly and advocating for their Medicaid bene ts. In 2002, Summit started as a nursing home billing and collections company, but quickly realized a need for representation and professional expertise with the Medicaid process.
A few years later, Summit transferred its business, attention, energy, and expertise to representing and advocating for Medicaid bene ts for nursing home and assisted living clients. e company slogan quickly changed to “Medicaid is not just something we do; it is all we do.”
Summit has since expanded to provide Medicaid Planning Services, as many families asked for help understanding the resources, how they a ect Medicaid, and how they can preserve more assets. Now, Certi ed Medicaid Planners on sta provide consultation services before your loved one enters a facility or while they are spending down there in advance of needing Medicaid.
If you have questions about Medicaid or need a representative for your loved one, call the best kept secret in New York at 716-332-6487 or visit its website at applyformedicaid.com.
Summit Health Care Solutions Founder and President Darlene Maclay and Vice President of Operations Kate Schaefer.
STORY AND PHOTO COURTESY OF SUMMIT HEALTH CARE SOLUTIONS
Seasonal festivals and craft shows
Plan a jaunt to get in the holiday spirit
BY CHRISTINE A. SMYCZYNSKI
Attending a festival or craft show is not only a great way to get some early holiday shopping done, but also a great way to get into the spirit of the season. Numerous events take place locally and throughout the state; here’s just a sampling to help with planning.
Granger Homestead Craft Show and Christkindl Market
November 8-10
294 North Main Street, Canandaigua, NY 585-394-1472
grangerhomestead.org
This annual Veterans Day weekend event is held in huge heated tents on Granger Homestead grounds in Canandaigua, about a ninety-minute drive from Buffalo. The restored 1816 Federal style mansion was once home
to Gideon Granger, the first United States Postmaster General. The craft show features over 150 regional artists and vendors offering hand-crafted items, including artwork, jewelry, fiber art, and much more.
Food concessions, as well as wine and beer, are available for breaks, and assorted kids’ activities include visits with Santa. For a small donation, the Granger Homestead mansion’s Festival of Trees features over 100 holiday décor items, including large and small trees, table
top decorations, and wreaths. Parking is at both Canandaigua middle and high schools; shuttle buses bring you to the event site. Admission is cash only.
Dickens Christmas Weekends, November 29-December 24 Skaneateles, NY skaneateles.com
About a two-hour drive from Buffalo, the annual Dickens Festival features old-fashioned activities like horse-drawn wagon rides, street
performances by “Charles Dickens” and a cast of other characters, and holiday carolers. In between those wholesome touches, holiday shop at village retailers. Two of my favorites are First National Gifts, located in a former bank, and Skaneateles Artisans Gallery, which features artwork, jewelry, and other handcrafted items from local artisans. When it’s time to eat, check out Doug’s Fish Fry, which has been serving up fresh seafood for more than forty years.
It’s a Wonderful Life Festival December 13-15
32 Fall Street, Seneca Falls, NY wonderfullifemuseum.com
Fans of the holiday classic, It’s a Wonderful Life, can take a two-hour drive to visit the It’s a Wonderful Life museum, host to the annual three-day festival named for the movie. Many believe Seneca Falls was the inspiration
Left: Holiday carolers at the Dickens Christmas celebration in Skaneateles, NY. Photo by Chris Waits; Above: The Festival of Lights in Niagara Falls, Ontario. Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
for the film’s fictional Bedford Falls and, since the film’s director visited Seneca Falls just before shooting began, this belief has credibility. Original cast members will be making appearances, including Karolyn Grimes (Zuzu Bailey), Jimmy Hawkins (Tommy Bailey), and Donald and Ronald Collins (Young Peter Bailey). Presentations take place primarily at Trinity Church; other events include cast member autograph signings, a screening of the movie, musical entertainment, and more. See the It’s a Wonderful Life Museum website for details.
Festival of Lights
November 16-January 5 Niagara Falls, Ontario wfol.com
In its forty-second year, this annual winter event is Canada’s largest free outdoor light festival, with more than three million lights, including the “Sparkling Winter Lights” Falls illumination playing on the hour at 6, 7, and 8 p.m., in addition to regular nightly illumination and fireworks on select evenings. Visitors can also follow the self-guided Winter Festival of the Lights Hot Chocolate Trail, with twenty-two stops featuring both non-alcoholic and alcoholic chocolate concoctions.
Santa’s Wonderland Express
Weekends late November to December 22 278 Main Street, Arcade 585-492-3100, aarailroad.com
From kids to grandparents, the whole family can enjoy a vintage train ride on the Wonderland Express to the
“North Pole.” At the North Pole—aka Curriers Station—children enjoy face painting, family photos, and a visit with Santa himself. Food is available for purchase. The roundtrip ride runs two hours and twenty minutes, and on the return trip, each child receives a gift from Santa. Reservations are a must.
Closer to home
Buffalo Holiday Market at Richardson Olmsted Campus
Buffalo Holiday Market has a new home on the Richardson Olmsted Campus. The event showcases artisans, craftspeople, antiques, and food. As a family friendly event, activities for kids are on the agenda.
40th Annual
Christmas in the Country November 7-10
The Fairgrounds, 5600 McKinley Parkway, Hamburg the-fairgrounds.com
Featuring artisans from all over the country, this annual event is the perfect place to shop handmade items for everyone on your holiday shopping list. Choose from home décor, jewelry, toys, furniture, gourmet foods, and more. FY
Christine A. Smyczynski is the author of several travel guides about western New York and New York State. In addition, she has written hundreds of articles on a variety of topics for local, regional, and national publications.
Don’t forget dessert...
465 Center Rd.
West Seneca 716-674-8586
Open Tuesday – Friday 6am to 5 pm Saturdays 6am to 3pm Closed Sun & Mon
Bingo Calendar
Please call event organizers to confirm information provided. Listings are alphabetical by day.
LOCKPORT ELKS LODGE 41 6791 N. Canal Rd., Lockport
7 p.m. (first and third Sundays). 434-2798
OUR LADY OF HOPE KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS
1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo
7 p.m. 875-5780
OUR LADY OF POMPEII
129 Laverack Ave., Lancaster
2 p.m. 683-6522
SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT
11099 Route 5, Irving
1 & 7 p.m. 549-4389
ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH
1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore
7 p.m.
873-6716
BINGO IN CANADA
GOLDEN NUGGET
655 Garrison Rd., Fort Erie
1 & 7 p.m. daily • 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday
4 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. 905-871-1277
DELTA MONTE CARLO
4735 Drummond, N. Falls
1 & 7 p.m. 905-356-8104
CASINO
SENECA GAMING
Broad St., Salamanca
1 p.m. Sunday • 1 & 7 p.m. Wednesday
7 p.m. Thursday and Friday • 1 & 7 p.m. Saturday
945-4080, 877-860-5130
ONEIDA INDIAN HIGH STAKES
BINGO AT TURNING STONE 5218 Patrick Rd., Verona 12:45 & 7 p.m. daily 800-782-1938
Holy Mother of the Rosary Cathedral
MONDAY BINGO AT 11:30 AM, DOORS OPEN AT 10:00 AM
Weekly Queen of Hearts Game
6298 Broadway Lancaster, NY 14086 (Between Schwartz and Ransom Roads) Phone (716) 685-5766
No single game under $60 • Air conditioned • Ample, free parking Bingo hall located on first floor with no stairs • Handicap accessible • All paper bingo Bingo camera with 4 monitors • Verification system • 2 progressive jackpots up to $2560 IN PRIZE MONEY + STW, RWB & Bonus Ball. Progressive STW Jackpot Game.
Frugal living for all seasons
Prioritizing the essentials
BY KATHRYN LUPPI
Frugal living is not about having less; it’s about having more of what you value.
The word frugal is derived from the Latin word frugalis, which means temperate and thrifty, which, in turn literally relates to frux, the word meaning “fruit” or “value.” And this article is the first in a series featuring Western New York seniors who overcame economic challenges by making frugal decisions.
The timing for this debut couldn’t be better, as expenses can quickly add up during the holidays and the perfect time to prepare a holiday budget is before they start! This month, we’ll take lessons from Elizabeth and Joe. Married forty years, the couple are retired parents of two adult children who live on their own. Elizabeth credits budgeting and a clear line between wants and needs for reaching her family’s financial goals.
In 2009, Joe lost his job of thirty years and the couple lost most of their income along with their health insurance. The family bounced back, in part, because they no longer had mortgage and car payments. They relied on savings and cut down on
the delights of prioritizing hearth and home and transformed their cooking and eating habits. Since then, the couple has maintained the thrifty kitchen habits they picked up during the lean years. They often purchase generic store-brand food (after checking labels) and cleaning and paper supplies. They write shopping lists to avoid overbuying. Most meals are home-cooked, which not only saves money but preserves control over their diets.
Elizabeth and Joe enjoy supporting local farmers and shop at Niagara County Produce and at farm stands for fresh seasonal foods at good prices. Niagara Produce has grocery stores in East Amherst, Lockport, and Elma stocked with fresh fruits and vegetables in varied bagged quantities. The couple also takes advantage of Tops’s Young at Heart Day, the first Tuesday of the month when shoppers sixty and up save six percent on total purchases.
Joe and Elizabeth make simple, versatile entrees that include ham, bean, or chicken soups; pasta; chili; pan-fried, baked, or steamed cod; Italian sausages with peppers and onions; and chicken or hamburgers on the grill. When they make big pots of their red pasta sauces or soup, they make enough to freeze for another day.
recipes for no-bake treats like Larabars and unbaked brownies are “healthy and customizable,” and that she enjoys the creativity of experimenting with alternative ingredients like maple syrup, almond flour, nuts, flax, and oatmeal. Her favorite websites to find easy and healthy recipes are chocolatecoveredkatie.com, as well as thebigmansworld.com.
Elizabeth believes that eating meals together unifies a family and fondly recalls growing up with people who “fed their family well and enjoyed their yards and gardens.”
Quick Ham & Bean Soup From Taste of Home
Ingredients
2 medium carrots, sliced
2 celery ribs, chopped 1/2 cup chopped onion
2 tablespoons butter
4 cans (15-1/2 ounces each) great northern beans, rinsed and drained 4 cups chicken broth
2 cups cubed fully cooked ham
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 bay leaf
Directions
expenses while Joe looked for work.
“The foundation was there,” Elizabeth says. “Everything else falls into place after that because you’re not stressed about big bills anymore. That’s a stress on a family.”
Elizabeth left a part-time position and found full-time work that offered health care. Joe was unable to find work in his field, but picked up temporary, part-time work.
In the three years that followed, they only used credit for emergencies, switched to prepaid phones with limited minutes, and put vacations on hold. “We’re not impulsive spenders and I think that saved us, too,” Elizabeth says. The silver lining? They rediscovered
Elizabeth admits that she used to think of cooking as more drudgery than joyful until she started making no-bake treats to replace less healthy desserts. “When we stayed home more, my daughter encouraged me to buy my food processor to make no-bake treats with dates and homemade peanut butter,” Elizabeth says, adding that
In a large saucepan, saute the carrots, celery and onion in butter until tender. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cook for 15 minutes or until heated through. Discard bay leaf. FY
Luppi is a freelance writer living in WNY.
Kathryn
Produce markets and farm stands are great places to find deals on seasonal fruits and vegetables.
Photo by Kathryn Luppi
A sanctuary for all Home for senior dogs to open in Akron
BY MEAGAN WALKER DOXTAD
People helping dogs. Dogs helping people. That’s the motto at White Whiskers Senior Dog Sanctuary in Akron, where twenty-five dogs will soon be welcomed to a former VFW post turned haven for aging pooches. White Whiskers’ mission is to provide a caring and compassionate place for senior dogs to live out their years—and companionship for people who can benefit from the special love that dogs provide.
At seventy-two, White Whiskers founder Polla Milligan spent nearly fifty years in various aspects of animal rescue. The day after retiring from her post as development director at the Niagara SPCA, she started White Whiskers. “I said, ‘Okay, I can’t stand sitting by and watching this,’ so I decided to do something about it. And that’s pretty much it,” Milligan says. Though that’s far from it. Since then, Milligan has led the organization in fundraising $500,000 for building renovations, which included removing seven layers of roofing, old railroad ties, and asbestos. She and her board of directors could run a master class in smart collaborations.
“Delta Sonic sent us a nice, big, fat check,” Milligan says. “And one of my board members said, ‘Geez, you know, maybe we should use that for the dog grooming room,’ because, you know, Delta Sonic washes cars and we wash dogs. It’s a perfect match.” So that’s what they did, investing in all the necessary groom room fixtures,
including a hydraulic lift for bigger dogs and a special drying machine.
“It’s such a popular cause. It sells itself. You know, I barely have to do anything. I just sit back, like, ‘Yeah,
this is great!’” shares Milligan, who will also call the sanctuary home, providing 24/7 supervision from her ensuite apartment, which also has a guest room. “In case there’s a blizzard. None of that, going home and leaving the dogs for twelve hours, you know?” she says.
You won’t find any kennels or concrete floors at the sanctuary. “Big old comfy sofas and dog beds for all!” Milligan writes on the organization’s website. You will find custom steps leading to raised beds (so dogs can look out the windows), a big community meeting space, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, and a fireplace.
While many of the amenities are for dogs, people—including children, veterans, seniors, and those with disabilities—will reap huge benefits by interacting with dogs. “That’s the deal. It’s going to be a sanctuary for everybody,” Milligan says. “We’re going to work with lonely folk, people who are isolated, people who are all by themselves because their family has
either passed away or moved on. I want those people to come to the sanctuary for free classes in our volunteer kitchen, so people can come in and teach us how to make the best blueberry pie.”
Since becoming a nonprofit in 2019, White Whiskers has signed up roughly 750 volunteers. Every volunteer completes mandatory orientation and, once the sanctuary is open, will wear a color-coded lanyard that signifies their experience level. Because the orientation sessions max out at twentyfive, there’s currently a waiting list.
“We love our volunteers, and we respect them. We know they could go anywhere with their talent, so we try to keep them happy,” Milligan says. “So if you don’t like the job you signed up for first, here’s some other jobs. Pick one, and we’ll give you something that you like that makes you happy and want to stay here.”
In addition to individual goodwill, White Whiskers has been a magnet for larger entities. Wyoming Correctional Facility got in touch with Milligan and
sent out a group of incarcerated people. “They came out and they gutted the whole place. Man, they worked like crazy, and they brought these really pathetic lunches with them every day,” Milligan shares. “We’ve got a million ladies who love to bake and cook, and they don’t have anybody to bake and cook for, so these guys were eating lasagna and fried chicken. Every day, somebody was trotting over banana bread and apple pie.”
Winding down, Milligan reflects on an interview she gave for WBEN’s Selfless Among Us series years ago. “I thought, this organization brings me so much joy; it’s hardly selfless. This should be called Selfish Among Us because I am so happy to be doing this. I’m so lucky. I’m seventy-two, and my life did not die when I retired. I’ve got this mission, and, man, it’s so rewarding.” FY
Meagan Walker Doxtad is Executive Editor of Forever Young.
MEDICAID PLANNING
White Whiskers founder Polla Milligan and Romeo.
Photos by Stephen Gabris
Grieving through yoga Helping self and others through tragedy
BY PATRICK ROWARD
It has been said that grief is the price of love—and it’s a steep one. “As a parent, losing a child is your worst nightmare,” says Jennifer Liberatore, who lost her son in 2020. “But after it happens, it’s so much worse than you could have ever imagined.” Faced with this unthinkable tragedy, Liberatore developed yoga classes to help others cope with grief.
Liberatore’s son Zach was a sweet, kind-natured kid who grew into a handsome, athletic young man with a bright future. When Zach was sixteen, he was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). By the time of his diagnosis, compulsive thoughts took over, impacting every aspect of his life: school performance, driving, sleeping habits, and ability to enjoy time with friends.
Zach fought his OCD for eight
Author and yoga instructor Jennifer Liberatore Photo provided by Liberatore
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years, working with psychologists and psychiatrists and attending inpatient facilities in Western New York and all over the country. During that time, he was a student at the University at Buffalo and planned to become a counselor to help kids like him who struggle with mental health challenges. In late summer 2020, Zach spiraled downward and overdosed on Opana, a prescription opioid medication the FDA has since taken off the market; he died on October 2, 2020, at age twenty-four. His death was determined accidental, “Zach died of an overdose,” Liberatore says. “But it wasn’t his addiction that killed him. It was his severe, debilitating OCD.”
In searching for ways to heal, the longtime dancer, former aerobic and fitness director, Pilates studio owner, registered yoga teacher, and Hamburg native turned to her love for fitness. “What worked for me, I put into a grief yoga class” Liberatore says. “Grief tends to sit in our heart chakra, in the center of our chest, so my classes include
certain yoga poses and breathing techniques to address that.”
Grief yoga classes are designed so that anyone can participate regardless of age and level of fitness. They start with Liberatore telling her story—how she lost Zach, how she healed through yoga, and how grief is a journey. The participants then take part in centering and breathing techniques to focus on the heart chakra. From there, they do some easy yoga poses followed by movements with sound and light stretching. The class concludes with guided reiki meditation.
“Yoga helped me move through grief so that I could not only move forward, but have joy again,” Liberatore says. “I know that’s what Zach wants and I’m very grateful other people are healing, too.”
In addition to developing her grief yoga class, Liberatore also started the Zach Liberatore Foundation, which has raised nearly $300,000 for the Oishei Children’s Hospital Psychiatric Clinic and OCD Program. “We
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have an incredible committee for our Foundation and fundraisers,” Liberatore shares. “The best team ever!” She also wrote a book, You Wonderful Boy. “I wrote my book to continue Zach’s legacy of being a strong advocate of raising awareness and breaking the stigma of mental illness,” she says, “and also to share my experience of Zach on the other side, to tell my story of healing after he died in hope of helping others in deep grief.”
Liberatore’s grief yoga classes are announced on the Town of Hamburg Department of Youth, Recreation, and Senior Services Facebook page. Two are currently scheduled for November 11 and December 9. Or, to explore starting a grief yoga practice right now, visit griefyoga.com for online courses. FY
Patrick Roward is a freelance writer and exercise physiologist with more than thirty-five years of experience.
An Invitation to Learn & Discover
Located at 100 Lee Street, The Heritage Discovery Center is a unique cultural destination in Buffalo honoring and preserving the railroad, maritime, and industrial heritage of Western New York since June 2010.
An unassuming building—just down the block from The Powerhouse, and nearby the Tesla plant on South Park Avenue—the HDC houses multiple museum collections and is the base of operations for the Steel Plant Museum, the Western New York Railway Historical Society, and the Buffalo Irish Genealogical Society, as well as home to the Buffalo Lighthouse Association, the Nickel Plate Road Society, The Buffalo Geological Society, and the Erie Lackawanna Historical Society.
This dynamic museum development creates a premier location here in Western New York to celebrate the rich industrial heritage of our region. Ethnic diversity and community pride are on display and demonstrated through ongoing study and exhibitions focused on the thousands of workers once employed by the railroads, steel plants and the Buffalo harbor. Our ancestors contributed to the growth and economic development of Western New York and the nation. The museum offers interactive, educational opportunities for young and old by providing a center of learning about railroad, steel, industrial and maritime history. Nearly 80% of our region’s population can trace
family ties to the railroad, steel making or shipping at some point in their family history.
This fall, in addition to a new exhibit at the Steel Plant Museum and expanded gift items in its gift shop, visitors to the HDC will enjoy an operating HO train layout hosted by the WNYRHS, in advance of the its big annual Train & Toy Show coming up on November 23 and 24, at the Erie County Fair Event Center.
The Center is actively seeking volunteers to assist with organizing and cataloging the archives and encourages community members who may wish to donate artifacts to reach out, so that their family members’ legacies can be preserved and their stories shared with all of Western New York. To find out more, call 716-821-9360 or email wnyrhs@gmail.com.
Expectations For ourselves and others
BY JUDITH A. RUCKI
“Expectation” is defined as a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
Expectations can vary but are often formed by behavior subject to rules and desires—spoken or unspoken—or that has been normalized. We expect other drivers will stop at red lights. We expect our spouses will remember our anniversaries. We expect our lives will be of the happily-ever-after variety. To quote Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for you?”
When disconnects occur between our expectations and our reality, it may be time for a self-check to determine if some practice in managing expectations may be in order.
Bestselling author, speaker, and business coach Alli Worthington writes about two types of expectations—those we have of others and those that others have of us. In either case, Worthington cautions that if expectations are unclear, it’s always better to ask for clarification rather than assume. Maybe your spouse doesn’t want a big anniversary party but does want an intimate dinner à deux.
Over-communicating is better than leaving things to chance. From experience in the working world, we
might be familiar with performance appraisals. Constructive feedback delivered with clarity and specificity is most beneficial. Employees need to know if and how their work isn’t aligning with what’s expected of them.
“Let others know what your boundaries are,” Worthington advises. “When you’re available or not, where you are and are not flexible, your timetable, etc.” So, if your adult children announce they expect you to housesit their iguanas while they’re in Tahiti for a month, they need to understand in advance that you aren’t up for several weeks of reptile duty. If you aren’t used to setting boundaries, write out what you want to say beforehand, then practice. Keep things simple and be as clear as possible.
Along with communicating, Worthington suggests we anticipate problems, (as in imagining worst case scenarios), and know the biases of others. It’s important for us to “mitigate and navigate expectations, so that you manage them, not the other way around.”
“Trying to live up to ‘everyone’s’ expectations is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands,” says writer, author, and relationship coach Natalie Lue in a Baggage Reclaim post. “Just because someone expects or requests something doesn’t mean that you have to be or do it. Just because there might be an expectation, whether it comes from them or you, doesn’t mean that it has a basis. Everyone isn’t meeting your expectations all the time so don’t single yourself out to be the exception to the rule.”
Lifestyle blogger and author
of PsychCentral’s article “Self Expectations: 7 Suggestions for Setting Realistic Expectations” Sarah Barkley says that “Setting self-expectations is beneficial to your life, but they must be realistic. Realistic expectations involve flexibility. Rigid expectations aren’t always realistic because things can change. Consider giving yourself the chance to change the plan to accommodate your situation.”
Along with determining expectations early on, Barkley advises we learn to let go, practice positive self-talk, give ourselves time and grace, focus on what we’ve accomplished, appreciate what we already have, and build confidence. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you should ignore your emotions,” Barkley says. “Instead, it means you should acknowledge your feelings and let go as you work to overcome what happened. Focusing on the present can help you recognize ways you’ve already reached your self-expectations.”
If a friend or family member is not meeting expectations, hit pause before you voice frustration: are your expectations reasonable given what you know about the person, their biases, and the situation? If not, it may be better to let them go.
“You can also practice letting go of expectations for situations and other people. One way you can do this is by reminding yourself that you can’t control others,” says Barkley. “You’re only in charge of your life and might not always meet external expectations. And that’s okay.” FY
Judith A. Rucki is a public relations consultant and freelance writer.
From the desk of WECK Radio owner and local business advocate Buddy Shula
CHRISTMAS IN NOVEMBER?
At Buffalo’s #1 Oldies Station, the BIG WECK, we take traditions VERY seriously. That is why you will not hear Christmas music in November.
Some stations like to play Christmas music now because they want big ratings and more money, but at the BIG WECK, we focus on the real meaning of Christmas, Our Lord Jesus Christ’s birthday. This is why the only time you will hear Christmas music on the BIG WECK is December 24 at noon through December 25 at midnight.
We call it our “BIG WECK CONTINUOUS CHRISTMAS” with all your you’re traditional Christmas favorites, centered around the Holy birth of Christ— and not in November because we want to make a buck!
If you love the BIG WECK radio, make sure to download our free app, or just ask your favorite voice-activated device to open BIG WECK.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving,
Buddy Shula President /CEO
All types including Grandfathers. Free In-Home Estimate, Pick Up, Deliver. Call or Text: 716-418-2773.
AD DEADLINE IS NO LATER THAN NOVEMBER 13TH FOR THE DECEMBER ISSUE. To Place your ad Call NOW! 783-9119 X2220
Go to www.facebook. com and search for @ ForeverYoungWNY
Forever Young readers: we want to hear from you! Do you know someone who deserves to be recognized? Tell us more. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Drop us a line. We want to devote space in Forever Young to what matters most: you. Send your story ideas to mdoxtad@ foreveryoungwny.com.
It WAS a Wonderful Life photo courtesy of Forest Lawn Chapel; Band photo courtesy of Tonawanda Legion Band; Muppets photo courtesy of Disney.
November 3
Veterans Day Concert
The American Legion Band of the Tonawandas will pay special tribute to veterans, featuring a diverse program of patriotic and classical music. The highlight will be the world premiere of “Virtues of Mankind,” a composition by acclaimed composer Rossano Galante who will guest conduct the work at the performance. Tickets can be purchased in advance at Walker Bros. & Monroe Jewelers, Mid-City Opticians, or Tonawanda Senior Center or at the door the evening of the event.
7:30 p.m., Cardinal O’Hara Performing Arts Center (39 Ohara Road, Tonawanda, tonawandalegionband.com)
November 30
Disney’s The Muppet Christmas Carol in Concert
Kermit and Miss Piggy star in the timeless tale of redemption and the spirit of Christmas. As Kermit and Miss Piggy journey through Dickens’ classic on screen, Ron Spigelman conducts the BPO in live scoring Paul Williams’ charming and emotive music.
2:30 p.m., Kleinhans Music Hall (3 Symphony Circle, Buffalo; bpo.org, 885-5000)
FREE
November 12
Book Discussion with author Brian Hayden
Join local author Brian Hayden for a discussion around his book, 111 Places in Buffalo You Must Not Miss. Admission is free, but call ahead (716-821-0564) to reserve your seat!
Each weekend from November 30 through December 29, Forest Lawn presents its original theatrical production of It WAS a Wonderful Life. In the cemetery’s festively decorated chapel, some of Forest Lawn’s famous “permanent residents” create musical, comical, and poignant glimpses of Christmases past when they enjoyed life on this side of the lawn.
11 a.m. and 2 p.m. each day, Forest Lawn Chapel (1990 Main Street, Buffalo; forest-lawn.com, 885-1600)
