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TRADITIONS, TWISTS, AND TRENDS: Weddings then and now By Rebecca Cuthbert
I
n a world with constant Wi-Fi access and drive-thru everything, one might assume the days of formal, lavish wedding celebrations are history, but that’s not the case! Classic wedding traditions are alive, if adapted, and exist happily alongside the most cutting-edge nuptial trends. Look closely at almost any aspect of a modern wedding, and its grinning ancestor will look right back.
Traditional tableaux
Ancient civilizations were under ever-changing rule and religion. Nomadic peoples meandered through territories not yet claimed, looking for places to call home. Alliances were made and deals struck, and through all of it, cultures merged and adapted. Because of this, it’s hard to know just where some wedding traditions started. A few well-known practices are claimed by more than one culture, and may have sprouted in different parts of the globe for different reasons. Regardless of their roots—or because they run so deep—many old-world traditions found their way into contemporary wedding ceremonies. In several different cultures, the act of proposing began with an eye toward practicality. Healthy, young people wanted to marry and have children to help carry on family names and enterprises, like farms and skilled trades. In the pre-bridal shower days, a bride often offered a dowry to help establish a home—linens, housewares, furniture, and money. It certainly helped if the families of the bride and groom blessed the marriage, and this is where we get the practice of fathers walking daughters down the aisle. This is a symbolic approval on behalf of the bride’s parents, a show of trust to all present that the groom will give their daughter a good life. One recently wed Buffalo bride, Maegan (Kivler)
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Bishoff, says she and husband, Jason, were excited to incorporate their culture’s traditions into their September wedding: “Being that Jason and I are extremely German (me 100 percent and him ninety), we wanted to honor as many German wedding traditions as possible, but many of them are [popular in] America already.” For starters, Jason asked Maegan’s father for permission to propose, and Maegan’s father walked her down the aisle to give her away. “That moment between my father and [me] was vital,” she says. “He has always been a protector, the rule maker, and the man who made sure my life stayed on track, so the symbolism of him ‘giving me away’ to do all these things on my own and with my husband was important.” Bridesmaids accompanying the bride to the altar dates back to ancient Rome, though other cultures claim this tradition as well. When this all started, bridesmaids wore the same outfit as the bride—no colorful tea-length dresses— because people feared that brides were particularly attractive to evil spirits, and bridesmaids could “confuse” these malignant entities. Bridal bouquets also had practical protective origins. Long before brides carried fragrant flowers to help complement their beauty, bouquets were made of strong-smelling herbs and other plants, like dill and garlic that allegedly kept misfortune at bay. Flowers were added to wedding bouquets later, and here is where we get the term “nosegay,” since sweet-smelling flowers make noses happy. In part, spring weddings became popular because “wedding decorations” were blooming all around. The brides from days of old weren’t safe from evil spirits post-ceremony, either. Of particular vulnerability were the soles of their feet—apparently evil spirits’ favorite way
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to enter a body. Oh, and these baddies liked to hang out in entryways, much like lazy dogs and children’s backpacks. Therefore, a new husband would carry his wife across the threshold to protect her. Other sources say this practice preserved a woman’s demure reputation, so she didn’t seem too eager to be alone with her husband! Then there is the honeymoon. In medieval Norway and Scandinavia, bridal couples went into post-wedding hiding for thirty days (a month, or “moon”) and a friend would bring the couple honey mead every night, giving us the name “honeymoon.” Wine in the moonlight in a secluded spot? Honeymoons haven’t changed much! The Bishoffs celebrated German tradition by having a “Polterabend” rehearsal dinner, as well. “This translates to ‘evening with lots of broken porcelain,’” Bishoff explains. “Friends and relatives bring old porcelain and kitchenware to smash in front of the bride and groom. The broken pieces are thought to grant them fortune and happiness—the number of shards symbolizes the number of years the couple will be married. Then the couple has to work as a team to clean it up.” Bishoff wore white for her wedding, a European style that Queen Victoria popularized back in the 1800s. However, Chinese brides often wear red for their wedding days, as red symbolizes prosperity and good fortune. These red gowns are embroidered with detailed pictures of flowers, dragons, and more. A dragon embroidered next to a phoenix symbolizes balance, which is necessary for any happy marriage. Keeping it classic, Bishoff was excited to participate in the “something old/something new/something borrowed/something blue” tradition, which is derived from an old English poem, and ends with “and a sixpence in your shoe” (though many brides leave that last one out). “[That stands for] continuity with the past, a happy future, hopes that the [long-married] owner’s good fortune rubs off, and purity/fidelity,” she says. Another WNY bride-to-be, Christine Beichner, and husband-to-be, John Miller, are planning a late October wedding without heavy reliance on tradition—rather, their theme is carnival-meets-flapper era, and they couldn’t be more excited about it. “It may sound quirky, but why not do a wedding in your personal style? So many people get stressed out trying to plan things to please other people,”
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Beichner maintains. “And too many couples throw these huge traditional weddings, when they aren’t a bit traditional themselves. We just want our friends to come, have a really fun time, and let loose a little.”
Restyled regalia
When couples might respect the continuity of traditional practices, but find them outdated or too rigid, they’re not hesitating to put their own spins on them. Wedding parties, in particular, often look very different from those of fifty years ago. For starters, they’re not always split by gender. A bride may have her brother stand up on her side, and a groom may count a female cousin among his “groomspeople.” Terms like “man of honor,” “bridesmen,” and “best woman” are becoming more common. And instead of the traditional procession, attendants might dance down the aisle. Matching outfits have given way to more flexible fashion, like one color but different dresses, or a loose color scheme, like all pastels or all jewel tones. Beichner loves the idea of breaking free from wedding party traditions. “John and I are including a wedding party,” she says, “but we’re updating the idea. [Instead of formal attire], the girls will wear whatever they feel beautiful in. There are no real restrictions—just nothing neon! For the guys, we’re just asking them to wear black pants and white shirts, and to add suspenders.” Beichner will include flowers in her wedding as decorations, but they won’t be sprays of roses and baby’s breath. “Everyone will have huge flowers made of crepe,” she shares. “They’ll be everywhere! And there will be gold-dipped feathers and ivory and gold balloons.” And while couples being married still recite vows to one another, often those vows have been written by the couples, who find them more meaningful than anything scripted. “Many couples do this now, but in my parents’ and grandparents’ generations, you said what the priest told you to say,” Bishoff says. “But we both had pages of reasons why we were perfect for each other and couldn’t imagine not being able to say those reasons in the most intimate moment shared by a couple. Basically, we are both huge romantics and had too much emotion and love to let someone else tell us what we vowed to do until death do us part.” Beichner and her groom, too, will be writing their own vows. “[Getting married] is one of the most
special moments in your life,” she says. “You’re making a vow—a pledge—in front of loved ones, and even more importantly, to one another. Neither of us wanted to just repeat lines back and forth to each other that were meaningless to us. You know how we say the pledge at school every year of our lives but we don’t actually hear what we’re saying? It’s just rote. That’s how the canned vows felt to us. I’m not saying it’ll be better; I’m sure we’ll stumble or our words won’t be perfect. But they will in fact be from us, to us, and hopefully carry a little more weight.” The Bishoffs decided that the usual maid of honor and best man toasts were also a bit limiting, so they extended the invitation to speak to their whole wedding party. “We have been friends with these people since we were in elementary school, all throughout college and beyond,” she contends. “They all have supported us through life’s ups and downs and we wanted to give each of them the option to speak on that friendship if they chose to do so.” Local brides and grooms have bucked tradition in lots of other ways, too. Look out for these fun twists at showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and wedding galas—some that have become common enough to seem traditional themselves. -Spa days instead of bar-hopping or at-home bachelorette parties. Brides-to-be and their gal pals spend a day being pampered and de-stressing with special bridal packages. Some spas even add appetizers or snacks! -Guys’-days-out paired with nighttime bachelor parties. Activities like golf outings, go-kart racing, laser tag, hitting baseballs at batting cages, and going to see professional sports teams are being added to bar-hopping. - Signature color added to the classic white bridal ensemble via a sash, ombre dye on the skirt, or bright heels (look for blue shoes, especially). Boutique attendants have lots of ideas for how to update the traditional look with color, cut, or design flair. - Viennese tables, cupcake displays, or dessert bars in addition to or instead of the usual tiered cake. Some brides think this is easier than cutting a cake, and others just want to offer their guests a larger variety of treats. Bakeries have tons of options—just ask—but often, families contribute to the array of goodies. - Dogs (or cats) as attendants. Some couples can’t imagine leaving their four-legged loved ones out on their big days, so don’t be surprised if Fido waits for his “mama” alongside
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his master in an outdoor ceremony. - Both parents walking a bride (or groom) down the aisle, in order to show gratitude or for moral support. Other brides will be accompanied by a father and a stepfather, a mother only, or another close relative or friend—someone the bride loves and respects very much, as this is a position of honor.
Modern masquerades
Traditions and twists certainly will always have a place, but informal picnics, themed weddings, and unique style have all become popular as modern couples say no to their grandparents’ party ideas. Beichner and her fiancé agreed that an informal wedding suited their personalities, as did a fun theme. “For our ‘vintage carnival with a Gatsby twist’ theme, we will have carnival-type games, like balloon throws, a ring toss, water guns, and a huge Jenga game,” she says. “People can play these games for a price, and the money will be donated to a charity. Also, for our theme, people are welcome to dress the part and come in costumes.” Since carnivals don’t have sit-down dinners, Beichner and Miller are asking vendors to set up food kiosks to evoke the atmosphere of a county fair. “It will all be heavy appetizers. Choices will range from a tater tot/spud bar, to a fried dough station, cotton candy station, popcorn station, taco station, and artisan pizza station,” she says. “It’ll be serve yourself all night long. There will be no formal sit-down tables, just cocktail tables where people can gather to have a bite to eat and mingle.” Beverages will also match the wedding’s ambiance, with root beer floats, beer, sodas, and signature cocktails. Along with playing carnival games and sampling fair food, guests at the Beichner/Miller wedding can visit a photo booth with fun props, “like strongman weights, umbrellas, animal masks, and more,” Beichner says. “Oh—and instead of invitations, we sent out ‘tickets’ that people had to rip in half. They kept half and mailed the other half back to us as an RSVP!” Though Bishoff is a fan of tradition, she also incorporated a few new trends into her ceremony and reception, adding a memorial segment to remember her late father-inlaw, and forgoing the usual guestbook for something more unique. “Before our ceremony officially started, Jason and I lit a candle and had some special words said for Jason’s dad, Leslie ‘Buck’ Bishoff, who passed away three years ago,” she explains. “The
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candle was inscribed with a lovely poem and remained lit for the entire ceremony and reception. Jason is an only child, and his relationship with his dad was a very important one. It was somewhat devastating that Buck wasn’t able to see his only son get married, and that he won’t be there when we have children, but we honored him, his life, and his love for his son by having the candle ceremony. Some may have seen this as a ‘downer,’ but it was our way of including ‘Mr. B, as everyone called him. Jason’s mom and dad were married for fiftytwo years, which is really significant and impressive to us.” Bishoff also thought that guestbooks were a little old-fashioned, and
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wanted an alternative that could be displayed prominently in their home. “Our souvenir ‘guestbook’ isn’t a guestbook at all,” she notes. “It is a shadow box filled with wooden hearts that each guest signed and dropped in. It’s displayed in our home now; we chose that instead of a guestbook that would probably have sat in a box or collected dust.” As a creative way to keep their loved ones in mind all throughout the year, and not just on their wedding day, “on the welcome table, we set up a calendar where all of the guests wrote their names on their birthdays,” she shares. “This way we’ll be able to remember our friends and family members and celebrate them all year.”
Lavish church weddings may have seen their heyday come and go, though of course many couples still choose to marry in religious ceremonies in houses of worship. Gaining ground these days is the wedding sans clergyman, particularly when marrying couples don’t share a faith. Other couples choose to have their ceremonies at the reception site, to make it easier on guests and avoid the hourslong photo session lull. After considering many factors, Lake View couple Duane Whitmer and Lindsay Runkle Whitmer elected not to have a church ceremony when they were married in 2012. “[Lindsay and I] weren’t necessarily fans of the long, traditional church
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wedding, involving things like cord tying, candle lighting, etc.,” Whitmer says. “Our ceremony may have been the fastest ever. Essentially, it involved people walking down the aisle, a reading from the officiant, and then the vows—super quick. (Lindsay is terribly shy, and hates being up in front of people!) We didn’t incorporate any religion, since Lindsay and I aren’t religious and we have a large, diverse group of family and friends. We also chose to have the reception at the same place, and that way, no one had to wait.” The Bishoffs also opted out of a church ceremony in favor of something more personalized and meaningful. “Our officiant was a long-time friend of the Bishoff family who worked with Jason at the Catholic Youth Organization,” Maegan says. “We wanted to have someone who knew us do the ceremony. We felt it was more personal.” Beichner and Miller will be married by a judge, for similar reasons. “We’re not churchgoers and most of our guests aren’t either,” she says. “It seems like a lot of people choose [religious ceremonies] to satisfy family members, rather than doing it for themselves. Plus, we know the judge who will marry us, so we know it will be meaningful for him, and more personal for us.” Here are a few more hot wedding trends: -Charity showers. When engaged couples already have fur nished homes, they may opt to host charity showers and collect donations for a favorite charity rather than themselves. (Another shower trend is the “shop local shower,” for couples who want to show their Buffalove.) - Colored wedding gowns. That’s right—no white in sight! Some modern brides are forgoing white in favor of pink, purple, or even black dresses. - Colored gemstones in addition to or instead of diamonds. We can thank Kate Middleton for starting this trend. More and more jewelers are being asked for eye-catching emeralds, sapphires, rubies, and more. - Holiday-inspired or themed weddings. Christmas, Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day lend themselves to fun décor and sometimes costumes. - Non-f loral bouquets. Ironi c a l l y, t h i s “ n e w ” t r e n d h a r kens back to the bouquets of old,
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which—remember—were made of strong herbs to ward off evil. Today’s versions might include fruit, succulents, branches, grasses, and yes, herbs! Many florists can accommodate even the most unique of bridal requests. - Winter weddings. Spring has long gotten most of the attention, but brides are beginning to see that winter, with its snow-painted landscape, white backdrop, and icicles reminiscent of ancient cathedral walls, makes for a beautiful setting in which to say “I do.” (And often costs less!)
was better luck, and I’d never heard anything like that before,” Beichner says. “But in the end, he decided that we would honeymoon in the spring, and that would offset that superstition! Kind of funny, really.” Note to marrying couples: for the best luck, seal those vows with a smooch! Whether the weddings you attend this year are old-school or new, costumed or black-tie, vintage-inspired or just plain vintage, remember that they all share the most important elements: they are celebrations of love
shared with friends and family, and the memories created that day will accompany the couple through many years. Rebecca Cuthbert contributes to Spree and Forever Young.
- Whiskey toasts. Everyone is used to champagne toasts, but in some families, a special “whiskey toast” is part of the festivities. This toast is often made by either the bride’s or groom’s father, or both. Everyone gets a shot glass of whiskey, and it’s bottoms up!
Very superstitious
Even the newest of new-age brides can be superstitious. Something about the gravity of the day’s events, even at a breezy picnic wedding, rouses the wood-knocker in everyone. Whether it’s hoping for rain the morning of the big day, tying ribbons to lilac bushes, or saving the top tier of the cake, some superstitions will always have a foothold the day a couple says “I do.” For Bishoff, it was the “don’t see each other before the wedding” rule. “We didn’t see each other the night before our wedding,” she says. “Jason and I shared a ‘last single girl kiss’ and he went home while I stayed at the venue. We lived together already, and I didn’t want the night before the wedding to be like any other night. I wanted to uphold that tradition to add to the excitement of the day, and to make that moment he saw me walking down the aisle even more special.” They also chose not to get married on a Saturday, which she says is bad luck, according to old English folklore. Beichner is opting for a “good luck charm” in the form of wearing something passed down from her mother’s side—something her mom and grandmother both wore—“because they have had very long-lasting marriages, and I guess I feel like that carries some good mojo with it,” she says, adding that she was surprised to find out that husband-to-be, John, had a superstition about their October wedding date. “John has no superstitions in everyday life, but he thought we should be married in the spring, because that www.buffalospree.com
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With our new 2015-2016 renovations of all four beautiful rooms, Lucarelli’s will be set above the rest. From our Abbott Room and its more intimate setting, our Franklin Room and it’s beautiful outside courtyard, to the modern Loft. The grand Gatsby will be a room that will leave your guest speechless. Call today to book your private tour with one of our professionals.
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Banquet rooms can accommodate up to 125 guests Specialized catering menu Excellent wait staff 291 Seneca St. | (716) 856-9187 | www.ilovechefs.com
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What every parent of a high school or future high school student should know about college By Steven J. Harvey
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s a father of three kids—one current high school student and two future high school students—I can appreciate the immense cloud of ambiguity that college presents to today’s parents.
As the director of an education nonprofit and a career counselor, I find my children’s pending high school to college transition just as unnerving as it is to those outside the profession. However, there are some important guidelines and information that will benefit my future college students and—hopefully—your future college student as well. Is college worth it? I find it extremely interesting that most of the people who argue that college is not the value it once was are college educated and would never let their own children skip this important step in their development. While most criticism of the return on investment in a college education is focused on income and employment, there are other values to a college degree. A study published in the Ann Arbor News has found that individuals with a college degree live longer,
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are healthier, are married, have lower unemployment rates, and report they are happier in their careers. These sociological and psychological benefits are often undervalued and left out of the argument. The other critical benefit of college, of course, is its economic impact on personal income. Most economists estimate the value of a college degree to be between $500,000 and $1 million, higher than the lifetime income of those who do not have a college degree. This finding has been established for decades. However, many say today’s student debt and job placement after graduation have changed the picture. Let’s consider the facts. According to The Wall Street Journal article, “Congratulations Class of 2015, You’re the Most Indebted Ever (For Now)” (5/8/15), students’ average total debt was (with interest) about $36,925. If the average return is around $750,000, that’s twenty times the original investment.
I know many financial planners who would be thrilled with that kind of return. So, long story short, either way you look at it, financially or personally, college is a solid investment in future success, financial stability, happiness, and health. However, to see those kinds of returns on their investments, parent of high school students must help their children succeed in college. High school is to college as night is to day If a student approaches college like he or she approaches high school, that student will either fail or fail to achieve full potential. The reasons for this can be found in the difference between the way students 1) learn; 2) are taught, supported, and guided; and 3) how they prepare for success in high school versus how they prepare for college. In high school learning, students receive information, file it in their brains, and then retrieve it for exams and papers. In college learning, the information used for successfully completing the course requires students to proactively seek it out using foundational information provided to them. It’s the habit of seeking out that is not fully developed in high school,
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and where most students str uggle with their transition in the classroom. In high school, students are taught by teachers who provide them everything they need to know to do well, whose own success depends on their students’ success, and who provide students with progressive feedback on their achievement allowing for adjustments and added academic support if needed. In college, professors expect students to use them as a resource and to proactively seek out knowledge and information. Professors who care deeply about the success of their students provide enough information for students to build and expand upon. Professors are rarely disciplined for poor teaching and, in most cases, do not grade in a progressive manner, so that students can make up for earlier poor grades. If a high school student needs support, teachers, parents, and counselors are often already aware. A college student must seek out help without a similar built-in support system. Finally, the way high school students prepare for success in college is to do extraordinarily well at what they are expected to do. Conversely, the way college students prepare for success in their careers is by doing more than what is expected, without any outside encouragement to do so. In college, students
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need to shift from dependent to independent action. This shift is the most challenging transformation that anyone of any age can make, but it needs to happen if your child is going to be successful, happy, and healthy. Parent as coach While your child is in high school, it’s extremely beneficial to provide opportunities to explore different
If a student approaches college like he or she approaches high school, that student will either fail or fail to achieve full potential. careers, learn about what’s expected in the world of work, give back to the community, and choose a career path prior to going to college. Let’s tackle the last one first. High school students are not too young to choose a career path. They can take career assessments, research possible careers on the Internet, conduct informational interviews with at least four individuals in a chosen field, and try to gain some experience
in the field prior to entering college. Students who have a well considered career focus prior to college have higher GPAs, graduate on time—saving tens-of-thousands of dollars in real and opportunity costs—and are more likely to have a job before college graduation than peers who do not have a career focus. However, the key is career focus. As a career counselor at the University at Buffalo, I conduct research on how students choose their careers. When I recently asked a group of high-acheiving high school students with tremendous potential for success, “What do you want to do when you graduate college?” many had a career in mind. However, when I asked, “How did you decide on that career?” none of these bright teenagers referenced any of the activities previously stated here. If students want to avoid the pitfalls that leave many struggling in college, they need to be more aggressive about choosing a career path among the 47,000 plus fields in the United States. This can be accomplished by taking the computer-based assessments affiliated with the US Department of Labor’s Dictionary of Occupational Titles, and examine variables such as interests, values, and desired work environment. Once they do that, and
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after they conduct computer research, they must ask people in their potential careers, “Why did you choose this field?,” “What’s the best part and worst part of your job?,” “Would you do it again?,” and “Would you want your own children to enter the field?” Finally, students should get some exposure to the field they are interested in and, even better, some experience. They can shadow, volunteer, and/or do small projects or internships prior to going to college. This investment of time and energy will save time, energy, and money in the future. Parents must help them find these opportunities and coach them through the process. In addition to participating in career-related activities, students should, without it being required, volunteer and give back to the community. This helps them develop the habits of success that they need to be successful in college. Volunteering involves activities that expand students’ horizons, such as communication, problem solving, complex reasoning, and planning; it also develops a strong appreciation for what it takes to be successful. If students volunteer and aggressively seek a career they can be passionate about, they are more likely pick a major that is right for them and graduate in four years for a bachelor’s degree or two years
for an associate’s degree—because they won’t change majors. Majorchanging is the single biggest reason that students take six years to earn a four-year degree and three years to earn a two-year degree. For a bachelor’s degree, the real and opportunity cost of two extra years is $66,000 in lost income and $24,000 (public) or $40,000 (private) in excess tuition. This is why it is critical to choose the right major. Finally, don’t be concerned that any one major will pigeonhole your child. Just ask your friends what major they had and you’re likely to find that many had wide-ranging majors that you wouldn’t necessarily think would lead to their eventual careers. What will lead to a career is the passion that evolves as a child proactively explores college. You need to help your child begin this process in high school. Don’t underestimate the challenge that lies ahead: Earlier, I mentioned that high school students need to shift from dependent to independent action. That is extremely difficult, particularly in today’s very busy teenage and adult world. Think about it. When is the last time you started something very different in your life that required you to do things you have never done before, ask questions you don’t even
know you have, and sustain this permanently? That’s exactly what parents need to do for their kids; not just tell them what to do. Not so easy, right? The key is to create opportunities for children; encourage them to move outside of their comfort zone and do things that are not required from their teachers. They just may find things that excite them and spark their passions. If you want to learn more about this process, I highly recommend Daniel Pink’s Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates You. Pink has a great Ted Talk as well. You may find something in there that leads you to your own paradigm shift. Good luck! Steven J. Harvey, PhD, is executive director of the WNY Consortium of Higher Education and founder of MyCollegeMax.com. He is the author of Untapped Capacity: How Every Student Can Achieve Extraordinary Things
RESOURCES Canisius College 883-7000 canisius.edu Daemen College 839-8225 daemen.edu/fallopenhouse Medaille College 932-2568 medaille.edu/business Niagara County Community College 614-6222 niagaracc.suny.edu Niagara Falls Culinary Institute 210-2525 nfculinary.org Niagara University 800-462-2111 niagara.edu SUNY Buffalo State 878-4000 buffalostate.edu SUNY Erie Community College 851-1ECC ecc.edu
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CLARENCE still setting the pace By Rebecca Cuthbert
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T
Carol A. Esposito
he town of Clarence we n t f r o m w i l d e rness to tavern town to industrial hotspot, all before its 150th birthday. In the 1980s, it became world reknown as the place where Wilson Greatbatch developed the heart pacemaker, an invention that has since saved countless lives. Now, more than two hundred years since the Holland Land Company spurred its settlement, Clarence is a vibrant suburban community alive with local culture and flair.
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The arts thrive in Clarence, where creativity is valued and promoted. The Clarence Arts and Crafts Society, formed in 1976, celebrates its 39th Holiday Gift Show November 7-8 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the historic Town Park Club House, 10405 Main Street in Clarence. Admission is free, and shoppers will love the variety of handmade gifts for sale. Items will include Buffalo-themed note cards, gemstone and sea glass jewelry, pottery, copper art, homemade soap, photographs, cork art, and more. Get a jump on holiday shopping with this unique event. For more information or to connect with the crafters, find them on Facebook. The Perfect Gift, at 6000 Goodrich Road in Clarence Center, combines local art and charity for an original shopping experience. Deborah Tangelder opened shop in 2003, and her business motto is “It’s simple: shop local and help many!” “The Perfect Gift carries the work of more than thirty local artisans,” she says. “We offer Buffalo gifts, home décor, jewelry, apparel, and our newest addition, Scout and Spartina 449 handbags, [and] our storefront gives one hundred percent of sales profits to help those in need, including churches, non-profit organizations, and families with illnesses. Not only are you supporting local business when you shop at The Perfect Gift, you are helping many in need!” Tangelder loves being located in Clarence, since it has a warm hometown feel, yet it’s also a getaway. “There is a sense of history and community here that is almost out of a storybook,” she explains. “And [Clarence offers] a shopping and dining experience that is unmatched.” To find out more about The Perfect Gift, go to theperfectgiftbuffalo.com. Canvas Salon & Gallery, located
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Center left photo by Jim Bush
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10215 Main St.
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at 9520 Main Street in Clarence, is another impressive multipurpose business. As its name suggests, Canvas is both a full-service hair salon and an art gallery, where good-looking clients can get a good look at local artists’ work. The Canvas website describes the salon’s ambiance: “Canvas is a team of practiced stylists who color, cut, and treat hair with the instincts of artists and maintain a hunger for continuing to improve their craft. While you’re treated to hair regeneration, you’ll enjoy local art and an atmosphere with carefully curated elements.” Gallery shows are announced at canvasiscolor.com, and artwork is available for purchase. Clients can also make appointments online. Bailey Slipper Shop, which began in 1929 as a small shoe store, goes way beyond outfitting happy feet; it’s now a specialty dance boutique, with multiple locations in and around Buffalo and Rochester, as well as satellite Dance N’ Stuff shops. Known for first-class service and wide selection, Bailey Slipper Shop has become the go-to place for all dancers, from ballroom playboys to hip-hop hipsters. In addition to professional shoe fitting by well-trained associates, the boutique offers costumes, accessories, and rehearsal gear in a variety of colors and styles. Bailey Slipper Shop’s website, baileyslippershop.com, guarantees that dancers will find what they need for maximum comfort and fashion-forward looks: “We stock high-quality dance shoes, body wear, and tights, and are continually finding exciting fashion merchandise to complement your dance wardrobe. New merchandise is always coming in, so be sure to stop by.” Clarence’s “getaway at home” atmosphere is largely due to the neighborhood’s hospitality, which residents and visitors alike can see, hear, and feel in the many locally owned or operated restaurants and guesthouses. A perennial favorite of out-of-towners and locals who need a little R&R is the Asa Ransom House Inn & Restaurant, located at 10529 Main Street. Innkeeper Robert Lenz started Asa Ransom in 1975 with just two guest rooms. Today there are ten, each with a different décor. Nine of those rooms have fireplaces, five have connecting porches or balconies, and two even have whirlpools. Lenz honored history by preserving part of the property’s 1853 construction, which replaced a building owned by one of Clarence’s earliest founders and the area’s first tavern proprietor, Asa Ransom
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himself—just one of the inn’s impresfound over at Spot Coffee on Transive elements. See more of them at sit Road, which only opened in 2012 asaransom.com. and is already a neighborhood fixture. Operations manager Kurt Wiss“[Our] dining room features local ing credits the café’s many regulars produce and entrees that have been with creating its homey environment. our guests’ favorites for years,” Lenz “Some keep coming back because said. “We also feature more than forty New York wines, of the employees, many receiving some come back Housing options in Gold Awards. The for the specialty original 1853 brick Clarence are diverse coffee, and some section of the buildcome back because ing replaced a log it’s a cool place to and plentiful, with cabin that Asa Ranhave business meetsom built on the everything from high- ings,” he says. property in 1799. Regulars and We belong to the rise urban apartments newbies alike love Green Hotels and Spot’s House Cofto suburban family fee, which is Select Registry [as a] ‘Distinguished Inn homes with wide front r o a s t e d r i g h t i n downtown Buffalo, of North America,’ and the New porches available for so it’s always fresh. York Farm Bureau. Popular menu items rent or purchase We offer a war m include the Cinco relaxing atmosphere Shake and Chicken Pesto Sandwich, and some customwhere you can work a puzzle, play ers can’t get through their days without checkers, read a book, or relax on your stopping for espresso, which their atporch or balcony. [We’re also] within home drip systems just can’t replicate. easy reach of most of Western New “Our La Marzocco espresso machine York’s attractions, the farmers’ market, is a high-quality, gourmet appliance bike trails, town parks, and many great that requires a high skill set in esprespeople.” so beverages [making],” says Wissing. Some of those great people can be
LORI JORDAN A Fresh Perspective on WNY Real Estate TOP 3% AGENTS NATIONALLY TOP 10% AGENTS WORLDWIDE
Lower photo by JP Thimot
Asa Ransom House
A 10 room Historic Village Inn Dinner, Lunch and Tea 10529 Main St. (Rt. 5) Clarence, NY 1-800-841-2340 or (716) 759-2315 www.asaransom.com
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Wissing has been with Spot for five years, yet every day he still finds himself appreciating the coffee shop’s friendly environment. “We are located on one of the busiest routes in Western New York,” he points out, “yet our customers walking in always find someone they know.” Housing options in Clarence are diverse and plentiful, with everything from high-rise urban apartments to suburban family homes with wide front porches available for rent or purchase. Seasoned professionals make finding the ideal home easy; instead of searching through classified ads and dealing with disappointment after disappointment, prospective buyers and renters can simply tell experienced real estate agents what they’re looking for, and relax while the listings roll in. Licensed real estate associate broker Lori Jordan has been a full-time agent since 1996, and is affiliated with Gurney Becker & Bourne at 5152 Main Street in Williamsville. Jordan has worked in many different markets and achieved recognition as the number one agent in New Hampshire, the top three percent of agents nationally, and the top ten percent of agents internationally. That experience makes her especially qualified to understand the Buffalo area’s recent housing surge. “Having relocated to the area from New England, I have a fresh and unique perspective on the revitalization that Western New York and greater Clarence is experiencing,” Jordan says. “It’s a vibrant community that has held true to its rich history and passionate culture while embracing the growth and the future with pride and enthusiasm. I could not have picked a better place to live and work.” Contact the professionals at Gurney Becker and Bourne by calling 849-1234. For those looking for custom living spaces, Kelkenberg Homes at 10215 Main Street in Clarence will design plans to suit anyone’s taste. Owner and president Charles Kelkenberg, who has been in business for over thirty years says, “We offer personalized service to each of our customers; by the end of the project, we’re truly friends! We listen attentively to clients and design their homes around their specific needs and wants to make their dreams reality.” Kelkenberg’s ties to the area go back a long way, too: “Many of my ancestors are said to be some of the ‘founding fathers’ in this historic town, making us very proud to be a
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part of the community. And because Clarence is a centralized town, [we can] build in towns north of here as well as the southtowns. We take pride in our work, because we find that word of mouth is our best advertising tool.” To find out more or to schedule a consultation, go to kelkenberghomesinc.com. Stovroff & Taylor Realtors, with offices in Buffalo and Orchard Park, has been distinguished as one of the area’s most successful women-owned businesses and fastestgrowing companies. Licensed sales associate Carol Esposito has earned several distinctions herself, notably Realtor of the Year for 2012, 2013, and 2014, and ranks in the top three percent of national real estate sales. “I am passionate about my career and do the best job I can,” Esposito said. “I work seven days a week to accommodate clients’ busy schedules and lifestyles. Many people have limited availability to look for new homes or meet with me to discuss getting their homes on the market, so I make sure to accommodate their schedules. I know the town of Clarence well; I’m also a resident!” To contact Esposito about listing a property or finding that dream home, call 204-2294. Clarence is a true live/work/play community, with its roots set firmly in the storied past and its branches stretching toward a luminous future. Visitors and those passing through call it “charming” and “picturesque.” Locals call it home. Rebecca Cuthbert contributes to Spree and Forever Young.
Resources Asa Ransom House 10529 Main Street 759-2315 asaransom.com
Kelkenberg Homes 10215 Main Street 759-7858 kelkenberghomesinc.com
Bailey Slipper Shop 8210 Main Street 634-0314 baileyslippershop.com
The Perfect Gift 6000 Goodrich Road 741-0722 theperfectgiftbuffalo.com
Canvas Salon & Gallery 9520 Main Street 320-5867 canvasiscolor.com
Spot Coffee 5205 Transit Road 276-8158 spotcoffee.com
Clarence Arts and Crafts Society Nov 7 & 8. 10405 Main St.
Weichert/Stovroff & Taylor Real Estate Carol Esposito 864-0478 stovrofftaylorrealtors.com
Gurney Becker & Bourne Lori Jordan 860-8267 Hunt Real Estate Beth Klipfel 390-0533 bethklipfel.com
Bailey S LIPPER S H OP “The store dance teachers recommend since 1929” Locations to Serve You Bailey Slipper Shop 8210 Main St., Williamsville, NY 14221 • 716.634.0314
6466 West Quaker St., Orchard Park, NY 14127 • 716.667.7810 3300 Monroe Ave., Rochester, NY 14618 • 585.381.2550
Dance N’ Stuff 234 Highland Pkwy., Buffalo, NY 14223 • 716.877.2449
www.baileyslippershop.com www.buffalospree.com
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GOOD HEALTH IS BEAUTIFUL BY REBECCA CUTHBHERT
A
s women struggle to juggle careers, caretaking, community building, and more, they often put their own needs last, choosing to “live with” and ignore health issues instead of dealing with them, wellness professionals attest.
In part, this is because it’s what busy women have done for generations, something Dr. Laszlo Mechtler of Dent Neurologic Institute describes as a “legacy of suffering” and a pattern he’s witnessed at Dent’s Headache Center, where eighty percent of patients are female. “Women have grown up watching their mothers suffer, as their grandmothers suffered, with chronic migraines and headache pain,” says Mechtler. “Many women may not realize that they don’t have to live with this pain. It’s a quality of life issue, and there are options to improve their situations.” Mechtler and his team take a
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holistic approach to patient care, and consider lifestyle factors before they design treatment plans. For example, lack of exercise, poor sleep, an unbalanced diet, excessive caffeine consumption, and overuse of over-the-counter medications can all lead to headache pain. “Treating our patients holistically means that everyone gets an individualized care plan,” he says. “It allows us to see the bigger picture and help each patient to the best of our capabilities.” To learn more about Dent Neurologic Institute’s Headache Center and their many other services, visit dentinstitute.com.
Medical professional and independent Pangea business owner Dr. Maritza Baez enjoys educating people about healthy skin habits and recommends Pangea Organics products over other commercial skincare brands, which, she explains, may contain harmful chemicals. “I wish women were more informed about the products they use every day,” she says. “Skin is your biggest organ, and sixty to eighty percent of what you put on your body goes in your body.” Baez suggests that women read the labels on skin care products they use, and pay attention to what has and has not been tested by professional, independent agencies. “Do
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you know what each ingredient is? Do you know its safety rating? What if it hasn’t been tested for safety? Unfortunately, only about ten percent of the ingredients in such products have actually [undergone this testing]. Check out the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep Database, which provides information on this topic.” With Pangea, Baez helps women become aware of healthier options in skin care for themselves and their families. To find out more or schedule a consultation, go to pangeaorganics.com/Buffalo/mystory. The board certified radiologists at Diagnostic Imaging Associates in Williamsville have years of experience and the latest technology available, providing a full range of diagnostic imaging services including MRI, CT, X-ray, and ultrasound. In addition to pediatric imaging, DIA experts offer women’s imaging in a calm and comforting environment. Call 716-636-1902 to schedule a mammography, (DEXA) bone densitometry, or breast imaging, and visit diagnosticimagingwny.com to learn more. Pine Phar macy, at 5110 Main Street in Williamsville (the Walker Center), takes customer care seriously and strives daily to provide patients with high quality, dependable service in a friendly atmosphere. “We help and educate women with a number of different health issues on a regular basis,” said James “Bo” Catanese, who earned his doctor of pharmacy degree from UB in 2009. “Some questions we get center on bioidentical hormone replacement for menopausal symptoms, natural and compounded prescription options for urinary tract and vaginal infections, decreased libido, thyroid hormone balancing, and more. Each woman is unique and different, and, at Pine, we make it our goal to help [women] learn about and resolve their symptoms.” Windsong Radiology Group, PC, stresses to its patients that early detection is vital in the fight against breast cancer and can considerably improve survival rates. “Breast cancer screening is an important health issue that many women delay or put off,” doctor of osteopathy Anna Chen says. “Windsong Radiology follows the American Cancer Society guidelines, which recommend all average risk women over the age of forty have annual breast cancer screening mammograms. Those at high risk should talk to their doctors. Following these guidelines improves the chances that
breast cancer can be diagnosed at an early stage and treated successfully.” The professionals at Windsong are often able to fully evaluate findings and perform biopsies on the same day, which helps alleviate patients’ anxiety. Recently, facilities were added at 899 Main Street in Buffalo to make screening easier for their patients who live and work in the city. Windsong Radiology was also the first facility in WNY to be awarded ACR Breast Center of Excellence accreditation and was the first freestanding facility to offer 3D mammography in 2011.
To find out more about Windsong Radiology, visit windsongradiology. com. Beechwood Continuing Care in Getzville focuses on seniors and its doctors, nurses, and other professionals appreciate how today’s senior women know the importance of exercise. “Physical activity has a wealth of benefits regarding women’s overall health and sense of wellbeing,” director of marketing and development Cheryl Wasson said. “Exercise can also address many of the chronic health issues in aging women, such as osteoporosis, arthritis, and diabetes. I
Experience Imaging at it’s Finest
• 3T MRI • DEXA • CT • Ultrasound • Nuclear Medicine • Digital Mammography • X-Ray Diagnostic Imaging Associates 100 College Parkway, Suite 180 • Williamsville • 636-1902
Your life. Your health. Your choice.
www.diagnosticimagingwny.com In loving memory of: Rhonda, Andrea Pizzuto Fink, Abby Jane Stalker
Survivors: Maria DiNardo, Jeanne Roma, Cynthia DeYoung Carlino, Laura White Barker, Patricia Myers
Have you scheduled your mammogram? Lori McDermott, (716) 684-6000 x235 Employee Benefits Broker
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can’t tell you how many residents have told me that since taking advantage of the various exercise opportunities at Blocher and Beechwood Homes, they feel healthier and stronger. We would love to see more senior women take advantage of [exercise classes] their local communities and senior centers have to offer.” These programs are overseen by certified exercise instructors who address different levels of physical abilities, and classes include cardio, yoga, walking, Tai Chi, and more. One-on-one fitness programs are
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also available. Call 810-7000 to find out about Beechwood’s many customized long-term care options. Lenahan Dermatology, at 6507 Transit Road in East Amherst, has been helping WNY residents keep their skin healthy for more than twenty-five years. Dr. Mary Louise Lenahan is the chief of dermatology for the Catholic Health System, a fellow of the American Academy of Dermatology, and a member of the Buffalo-Rochester Dermatology Society. Dr. Lenahan’s main concern is her patients’ wellbeing.
According to lenahandermatology. com, “As an experienced dermatological surgeon, [Dr. Lenahan] performs procedures daily on benign, precancerous, and cancerous lesions. Whether it is examining every mole on a patient or meticulously performing cosmetic procedures, patients can be certain that Dr. Lenahan continually strives for perfection.” Village, a brand-new holistic healthcare center at 140 Elmwood Avenue, comprises Buffalo Doula Collective, Whole Nine Wellness, Tsubo Therapeutic Massage, and the
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Holistic Parenting Network. “[Village offers] doula services, doula training and mentoring, childbirth education, prenatal yoga and massage, breastfeeding support, and a gift shop,” says birth and postpartum doula Gina Varney, who also helped form the Buffalo Doula Collective. “We also rent to other providers in the area, lactation consultants, therapists, chiropractors, dietitians, and more. We rent space for classes and workshops, and offer a monthly new mom and partner group that is free and open the public.” Varney and her associates want to make women in Western New York aware of evidenced-based options, and also of the many resources and support systems available through Village. “We strongly believe that each family deserves to be treated individually, but with access to and sense of community. We want them to be aware that they have the power and we are here to provide the support,” she says. Village will host a grand opening Friday, October 2. To learn more about their many programs and services, go to village.com. Women today understand that good health is truly beautiful. No two
women are alike and one-size-fits-all medicine just won’t do. With individualized treatment plans and holistic care, WNY wellness practitioners will help every woman achieve her own best health. Rebecca Cuthbert contributes to Spree and Forever Young.
Do you need 3D Mammography?
For many women with dense tissue or family history it’s a better way for detection. 3D, a breakthrough technology, is the most advanced screening that shows breast tissue in thin layers, giving your doctor a view never before possible.
The first in the area to offer 3D Mammography - Since 2011
www.WindsongRadiology.com 716-631-2500 Amherst • Hamburg • Lancaster Williamsville • Buffalo
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DAILY SKINCARE RITUAL
Put Forth the Face that Reflects Your Inner Beauty
“Our Eye Cream is packed with antioxidants and potent natural hydrators to help your skin look beautiful at every age. The advanced formula nourishes the delicate eye area while minimizing the look of fine lines..”
MARITZA BAEZ, M.D.
Independent Pangean and Family Doctor
Dr. Maritza Baez, Independent Pangea Business Owner www.PangeaOrganics.com/Buffalo Facebook.com/BuffaloPO • BuffaloPO@gmail.com
RESOURCES Wesley Rehabilitation Center Beechwood Continuing Care 2235 Millersport Highway Amherst, NY 14068 810-7000 beechwoodcare.org
Dent Neurologic Institute 3980 Sheridan Drive Amherst, NY 14226 200 Sterling Drive Orchard Park, NY 14127 35 Batavia City Center Batavia, NY 14020 250-2000 dentinstitute.com
Diagnostic Imaging Associates
100 College Parkway, Ste 180 Williamsville, NY 14221 636-1902 diagnosticimagingwny.com
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Lenahan Dermatology 6507 Transit Road East Amherst, NY 14051 689-DERM(4377) lenahandermatology.com
Niagara National Lori McDermott 684-6000 x235 niagaranational.com
Pangea Organics Dr. Maritza Baez
pangeaorganics.com/Buffalo
Pine Pharmacy
Walker Center 5110 Main Street Williamsville, NY 14221 332-2288 pinepharmacy.com
Village
140 Elmwood Avenue Buffalo, NY 14201 238-0708 villagebuffalo.com buffalodoulacollective.org
Windsong Radiology
Amherst, Hamburg, Lancaster, Buffalo & Williamsville 631-2500 windsongradiology.com
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HIVE/HEALTHY CHANGES EVERYTHING OMG… Calories! 5 Reasons to Rethink Your Workout Focus
I
t’s often said that the numbers don’t lie. But when it comes to exercise, they don’t tell the whole story. Take our current obsession with calories. Fitness enthusiasts haven’t been so singularly focused on this unit of energy since Jane Fonda led the leg-warmer-clad masses through their paces. Back then, counting the calories we consumed was all the rage. Today, it’s all about keeping tabs on the calories we burn. Thanks to wristband f itness trackers, this data is literally at arm’s length. What’s more, classes that
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claim to torch a staggeringly h igh nu mber of calories are the hot ticket at health clubs, and attendance continues to climb. A lthough mon itoring our caloric output sounds like a healthy habit, we risk developing an unhealthy attitude toward fitness when we do. How? Let us count the ways.
1. We lose sight of real fitness
When we chart our progress with the calories we burn, we look toward just one goal: losing weight. But weight loss does not equal
overall health. A slim physique can be a byproduct of fitness, but we have to consider a whole host of factors—our heart rate, muscle mass, energ y levels and blood pressure, to name a few.
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2. It leads to overeating
Each time you complete a highintensity workout, your fitness tracker calculates the number of calories you’ve expended. For some, this triple-digit figure serves as a license to chow. Rather than considering food as the fuel we need to sustain ourselves, it becomes a reward for a killer workout. In these circumstances, we’re likely to overestimate how much we can eat. So we indulge and then wonder why we can’t shed pounds.
3. We’re vulnerable to injuries
When a high-intensity workout no longer yields the caloric burn it once did, it leads to frustration. In fact, we should be thrilled to see those numbers dip. Why? If you’re burning fewer calories working out at the same relative intensity, it’s a sign that your body is becoming fitter. But if we’re consumed by numbers, we’re likely to ratchet up our workouts—a strategy that puts us on the fast track to injuries.
4. We lose variety in our workouts
W hen we pr ior it i ze ca lor ie burning, we turn our back on lower-intensity forms of exercises. That’s a costly trade-off to make. If, for example, we scratch yoga from our workout schedule, we lose f lex ibi l it y and balance — two essential components of a fit physique. If we abandon strength training, we lose muscle mass. Remember, a muscular body burns calories more effectively all day, not just when you’re in the thick of a workout.
schedules alternate among high, mo de r ate - a nd low-i nte nsit y workouts. This way, you avoid injury and burnout while performing at your peak. The big takeaway? If you’ve grown attached to monitoring the calories you burn, it’s time to explore the other features on your fitness tracker. You should also consider reviewing your exercise regimen with a certified trainer to make sure that you’re on the path to optimal health rather than just working out “by the numbers.”
5. We don’t give ourselves permission to rest
Our bodies were not built to exercise strenuously every day. At most, you should engage in three such workouts a week, allowing at least 48 hours of recovery time between each session. If you’re constantly crushing it at the gym, you don’t allow your body to rest, recover, and replace lost energy stores. The most effective exercise
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