The GULF COAST TUMBERMAN

HOUSTON, TEXAS

JACK DIONNE, PUBUSHER

Compensation

(Elsie

Associates

Pure gold is not spoiled by its associates. ft can be refined to the same twenty-four karats of perfection, whatever its origin. All that is necessary is to rid the gold of its associates that are not gold-

A SCHOOL GrRL'S REVIEW OF JULTUS CAESAR

I like Julius Caesar because that would make Shakespeare feel nice about it if he were stiLl living to think one person likes it an]rway even if no one else does.

Cassius had an uns eady past.

Brutus killed himself by rubbing his body over the sword held by one of his men.

Surely being cut off in the prime of his life was a terrible incident for Julius Caesar.

The number of people that take part are thirty-two, and two women make thirty-four.

Caesar died a sad death but they finished the show just the same.

A Tough Explanation

A visitor being shown through an English insane asylum, noticed one of the inmates, an Amcican, jabbering senselessly, and covering the walls of his cell with diagrams.

"\Mhat a pathetic case," he rernarked.

"Yes", said the attendant, "he tried to explain to an Englishman what waffles are."

Embarrassing Moments

The local newspaper which offered $1 for each Embarrassing Moments letter accepted by the editor, received the following:

"Dear Editor: I entered my house last night and caught another man with my wife. I was indeed embarrassed. Please send $2 as my wife was also ernbarrassed."

The editor read the letter and sent the man $3, with this note:

"We don't wish to cheat you. We feel that the other man must have been somewhat embarrassed also."

HE LIKED (?> JAzz

"Did you ever hear anything so perfectly wonderful?" exclaimed the daughter of the house as the radio turned out the last notes of the latest thing in jazz music.

"No", replied her father, "I can't say that I have, although I once heard a colLision between a truck load of empty milk cans and a freight car filled with live ducks."