Amos 'n' Andy Buy a Sawmill

And Incidentally Discuss the Present Trials of the Lumber Industry

Arriving at the office of the taxicab company, Amos is amazed to learn that Andy has sold the assets of thb Taxicab Corporation. Amos demands to know how much money was realized, and asks for his share. Andy replies with disdain:

"Dere you is again, Amos. You don't know nothin' about bizness. N,othin' sells for money no mo'. Everything sells for 'stallments. I is done paid down de taxicab bizness as de fust 'stallment on a sawmill."

"sawmill? What we goin'do wid a sawmill? We don't know nothi,n' 'bout runnin' no sawmill, does we?"

"Course we don't, Amos. De man I traded with done 'splained dat. He said u,'e didn't have to know nothin' 'bout a sawmill to get de bizness. He told me dat if all de folks in de lumber bizness knew a,nything at all 'bout nothin', dey wouldn't be in de bizness. He said we wasn't taxicab drivers ns 66'-147s is lumber magnets."

"We is, huh? Now ain't dat sumpin'? Well, if we is magnets, whut's de next thing we is go'nna do?"

"\Mell, now we is gonna meet wid all de buyers. De mo' buyers you meet, de mo' goods you sell below cost. De man done 'splained dat de further you sell under cost. de better de mill man whut you is."

"Below cost, Andy. What you mean ? 'Splain dat cost to me. Whut is it?"

"Don't nobody know what dat cost bizness is, Amos ! Dat's whut de man done said. Cost is sumpin' de lumber inen guesses at and sells under. De man whut guesses de l,owest and sells de most under. gets de ptize."

"Whut's de prize, Andy?"

"Well, as I understans it, de lumber men whut sells de lowest fur de longest time, gits a chance to'liquidate. Dat's ,ivhut de man said."

"Dat liquidatin' stuff sho' sounds good-but, Andy, ;4ou ain't tole me as yet what we is goin' to do wid dat lumtrer bizness."

"Well, Amos, as I see de sichyashun, it's like dis. Dere is just two things you do wid a sawmill. Fust, you can run it. Secont, yod can curtail wid it."

; "Curtail, Andy, whut you mean by dat?"

: "Dat's easy, Amos. Fust, you runs de sawmill and rnakes all de stuff you ian. Den when de buyers is done b'ought all dey can pay for, as fur under co,st as you can guess to, dey resigns away from de market. Den, we begins to curtail. It don't mean nothin', 'cept we knocks off from work. We stops de sawmill, plays a little golf and rnaybe goes on a convenshun."

"IJh, huh. Now 'bout dis curtailin' bizness, Andy. I likes de sound of dat. How long do it last, and how long does we rest like dat?"

"Well, Amos, we curtails till de buyers gets hard up for mo'goods. De lumber man has to watch de buyer mighty close and juss fo' it looks like de buyer is goin' to have to pay mo' den dat cost thing, de lumber man rushes to make all de goods dey can and ketches up wid de buyer again. Den befo' any of dem is ready to start in again dey is right where de wuz when dey started. If you wLrz a bizness man you would understan' dat can't nobody beat a system like dat. De man whut sold us de sarvmill said dat system wuz de big thing in de lumber bizness. You can see he's, right'bout that."

"But listen, Andy-sposen dat de lumber man gits kinder keerless and does dis curtailin'too long, and de goods gets' to sellin' over de cost. Whut den ?"

"Nobody knows whut wouid happen den. It's been so long since it was like dat, everybody done forget what did happen.Butain'tnothin'forustoworry'boutAmos.''

"I guess you is right, Andy."

"Check and double check."* *

(We are indebted for this efiusion to John L. Avery,, Sales Manager for Frost Lumber Industries, Shreveport.' We don't know the author.)

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