Fun, Facts and Filosophy

Knowledge Going To Waste

A man who was traveling in t'ire mountains of Tennessee, stopped at a cabin and asked for a drink o{ water. An olC woman lbrought it to him, and after drinking he had quite a talk with her, telling her great stories about his travels, and the wonders he had seen in various parts of the worlcl. Finally he stopped to take breath, and the old woman took her pipe out of her mouth and saicl:

"Stranger, if I knowed as much as you do I'd go some'ere ancl start a little grocery."

. THE BOSS_HIS DAY OFF

He was the boss; was the first to come When the day began-ar.rd he made things hum, He would hustle 'round witl-r intpatient jerks

And instill some life in the lazy clerks. It was fine how he'd scold and scoff

At the thought that he ought to take a day off.

Why, he'd doubt the clock wl.ren it chimed at noon. And he'd swear that the hour hacl come roo soon. Go out to eat? Waste that time at lunch?

Not he ! IIe would sit at his desk and munch

And sputter the crumbs when he took a bite

And told the stenographer what to write.

Year in, year out, he was on the go. He said: "To busy to rest, you know." And the dollars grew to a wondrous pile, But still he would lvear that sarcastic smile When someone suggestecl a time for play, Or told of the need of a holiday.

It was yesterday when we met him lastWe were on the street, he was riding past. And we stopped and looked as we turned to go For the wonder was that his pace was slow. But the rig was new and the horses trimIt was his day off, for thev buried him.

Game

")Vh9n you're whipped" said Dolan "you ought to sa1. yott've hacl enough."

"If I've thq strengtl-r to say I've 'irad enough" said Nolan "I'm not whipped."

IT \VAS MISSING

He triecl to cross the railroacl track

Before the rushitrg train, They put the pieces in a sack But coulcln't find the brain.

Boost You Sucker Boost

Don't sit supinely on your roost

But come along and help us boost

For better things of very kind

And leave your kicking clothes behind.

Oh, let us boost for lletter streets

And softer beds, and longer sheets

For smoother lawns and better lights

And shorter winclecl blatherskites

For finer homes and larger trees

For bats and boosts and bumble bees

For shorter hours and longer pay

For fewer thistles in our hay

For better grub and bigger pies

For two more moons to light the skies

And let the wolves of war be loosed

On every guy who doesn't boost.

That Was Why

A crooked oil promoter who was about to be tried irr Texas, came to a prominent lawyer and asked him to take his case. "I don't want yorlri .case" said the attorney,, "I think you're guilty and vou're sure to be convicted." "That's all right" said the oil grafter, "I'm going to plead guilty." "Then why do you want an attorney?" asked the lawyer. "Well," said the oil grafter, "you and the judge are good friends, and you could help me there." "How?" asked the lawyer. "By having him send me to Leavenworth and not Atlanta Federal Penitentary." "Why?" asked the lawyer. "Because I sold a lot of oil stock to the Warden of the Atlanta Pen," replied the oil grafter.

Believe He Was

Judge-"You are sentenced to hang by the neck until dead."' Prisoner-"Judge, I beliel'e you're stringing me."

Heard Around The Yard Office

The Auditor said: "You can't want a better iob any more than the boss wants a better man."

The Paymaster said: The fat,read never gets the fat envelope."

The Second Man said: "Fit me instead of.firing me when I pull a boner, arid I'11 help make YOUR job better."

The Order Clerk said.. "If you'll say what you want so that I can read and understand it the first time, you'll get rvhat you want when yon want it."

'Ihe Teamster saicl: "Follow up 'the leads I bring in fronr rny trips, and I'll soon need a helper."

The "Old N{an" said: "f 'll increase your wages just as fast as you increase your value to the fium."

The Customer said: "If you fellows will all do what you say my buildiirg troubles rn'ill be over, and I'll stop making mv first ouestion to vou : '\\Ihat is the pricb' ".?

SC{'s/Sc

JuSt Consider These$ood ?oints

Doors with all White Pine stiles and rails-wood in which a carpentercan mortise a lock in a saving oI one-third the usual time.

Fir panels in beautilully figured slashed grainwhich will not check.

And too, fir panels may be stained any color successI"llv and rubbed to a beautilul finish, while under white enamel theyare perIect because they"stay pua'

All good points towhich we add skilled cralt in making and genuine pride in the finished producc