The Bulldog Bulletin Issue 4: April 2015 by The Bulldog Bulletin

BREA K I NG NEWS! M r. You w on't bel i ev e w h at Watch The Bark, some teach ers are Rainier's new podcast! Roe Has a Conf essi on pg. 4 pg. 7 sayi ng... pg. 11

Z isman Statue to Be Erected By Nate Tibbles The Zism an Cultists have long lobbied for a statue to be er ected in honor of their leader, M ax Zism an, or as they r efer to him , ?The Gr eat and M ighty Lechuga?. Ear lier this w eek , on M ar ch 15, M r. Roe announced that they w ill get their w ish. ?It r eally is a gr eat achievem ent,? says John Sm ith. ?This is a m assive step for w ar d for those of us w ho w or ship the Gr eat and M ighty Lechuga. I am so glad to have my faith celebr ated by the school.? He also added, ?All hail the M ighty Lechuga!?

Apr il 1, 2015 Volum e 1, Issue 4 2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com

Unknown M emor y No Longer Unknown

M r. Roe explained to the Thunder bir d Bulletin, ?We just got tir ed of r eceiving letter s fr om the Zism an Cultists. We figur ed that it w ould be easier to give them w hat they w anted than to deal w ith their em ails.? He w ent on to say, ?If they w ant to build a

Statue continued on page 4

Spring Style: A Report on New York Fashion Week

M USI C REV I EW By Jer r y Delgado Photos (fr om clockw ise top left): Alice and Olivia, Naeem Khan, Dolce and Gabbana, Zuhair M ur ad, M ar chesa, Alice and Olivia, Alice and Olivia

As the m usically talented clique steps onto the nightclub stage, the cr ow d r oar s loudly, appr oving of their pr esence. The clique r eplies by speaking into the m icr ophones ?Thank you? over and over until the cheer ing subsides.

By Sidr a Rashid Flor als, pastels, and flow y silhouettes. All of the staples of spr ing style. And New Yor k Fashion Week w as no exception. Of cour se, all the A-lister s ar e alw ays show ing at NYFW to kick off the r unw ays tr aveling to Par is, M ilan, and London. Zac Posen, Alice+Olivia, Badgley M ischka, Alexander M cQueen, Balenciaga, Betsey Johnson, Louis Vuitton, Ralph Laur en, Pr ada, Rebecca M inkoff, Valentino...The list of designer s goes on and on. Ther e w er e plenty of tulle and m idi skir ts. But this fashion w eek , m or e than usual, w as ver y focused on details. Ther e w er e intr icate patter ns, individually sew ed on jew els, and chunky br acelets. And although a lot of the fashion w eek

The fir st tr ack of the night star ts off w ith a fading in haunting r ever bed m elody of a tr um pet, and a deep punchy kick-dr um violently br ings the audience?s attention to the song. Suddenly, one of the m em ber s of the clique star ts r apping his ver se. ?We r ollin?r ound, segway scooter s Shooting Laser s, br ing you down Gotta gr ind ever yday, like get the [censor ed] money now All these [censor ed] tr yna? hold me down No one on our level, shawty

M usic continued page 7

Style continued page 9 2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com

Horoscopes

by th e Seer

Im ages by M eaghan Allen

A ri es: Oh, boy! You?r e going Taurus: Falling flat on your Gemini:

Jour nalism Club Bulldog Bulletin Advisor : M s. Beaven Club Leader s Haley Kim and W illiam Teav Volum e 1, Issue 4 Apr il 2015 Wr iter s M eaghan Allen Jer r y Delgado Ben Gilm or e Anina Hitt Haley Kim Em ily Kobayashi Alyssa M ar tinez Vianet Or ozco Sidr a Rashid W illiam Teav Nate Tibbles Photogr apher s W illiam Baker Katie Reguindin Azr a Hill Alyssa M ar tinez Ar tists M onica Hale Nadia Tor ibio Copy Editor s Lead: W illiam Teav Seem a Azad Anina Hitt Judith M ontejano Natalie Nunez Iveth Resendiz

Looks like your

to r ead a par ticular ly exciting edition of your school?s new spaper this w eek . M aybe even today. I hope you?r e r eady for that.

face w ould be a str ong w ay to end the w eek , don?t you think? I?m glad you agr ee, because that?ll be w hat happens. Either that, or you?ll get pushed.

house is haunted. You should pr obably get Ghostbuster s on that befor e your hom e stops looking like Casper and star ts looking like Polter geist.

Cancer:

Leo: Dude,

V irgo:

It?s looking pr etty

I think that you

Ther e?s

little

dar k for your futur e. And by dar k , I m ean that ther e?s going to be a pow er outage in your neighbor hood. And by neighbor hood, I m ean just your house. Pay your electr ic bills, people.

put your shir t on backw ar ds. Like, you should pr obably get that befor e som ebody else notices, or it?s gonna be even m or e em bar r assing.

som ething on your cheek . No, no, like r ight... ther e. Nah, to the left. Your other left. Alm ost-- just up a tiny bit... and... ther e! Kind of. Not r eally. Eh, w hatever ; it?s not a big deal.

Libra: You

Scorpio:

Sagittarius:

ar e in contr ol of

You ar e going to

You

know

your ow n life. W hy ar e you even r eading this? Because som e fake new spaper astr ologist claim s that fier y gas balls m illions of light-year s aw ay fr om her e ar e gonna affect w hat kind of per son you ar e? Nice tr y, take som e initiative.

becom e addicted to a new social m edia site. Your fam ily w ill not see you em er ge fr om your r oom for the next few days, so busy you ar e w ith posting photos or videos of your self in var ious lights and settings.

those gr ey bags under your eyes? Not actually supposed to be ther e. I think you need a nap. Tr y br inging a pillow to school and just cr ash dur ing br eak .

Capricorn: You

A quarius:

Pisces:

know that

r eally dum b idea that you w er e thinking of? Do it, just like-- go out ther e and do it. W ho?s stopping you? Good luck , dude.

Em otions sur e

ar e fun, ar en?t they? Good thing you?ve got a lot of them . One could say your cup over flow eth, and shall continue to all w eek . Don?t bother to keep them under w r aps.

If you spend one

mor e minute playing gam es dur ing PLT, I sw ear, I?m gonna com e out of this new spaper and sm ack you. That?s not w hat that tim e is for. And it?s not like you?ve got nothing to do, so just get w or king alr eady!

YOU SAID... Issuu was hard to use.

Layout Editor s Lead: Haley Kim M eaghan Allen W illiam Baker Azr a Hill Vianet Or ozco Podcast - The Bar k Ben Gilm or e Dillon Par dini Santi Villalobos Club M em ber s Joseph M aille, Nicholas Nguyen, Gabr iela Rios, Ian Tor r es Logo by Nadia Tor ibio and M eaghan Allen Jour nalism m eets ever y Wednesday @lunch in Room 1219.

We have a new platfor m (Joom ag)! (You'r e pr obably r eading on it. If not, go to this link now !) W ith Joom ag, you can: - SUBSCRIBE so you alw ays know w hen w e r elease a new issue! - WATCH videos and click on links! - DOW NLOAD our issues! Tell us w hat you think of the new platfor m at tinyur l.com /

You wanted more Interviews with Students, Teachers and/or Clubs and M ore Entertainment Reviews. Have you r ead our inter view w ith M s. Shemyakina and M r. Quezada? M r. Roe has m ade a confession too, and M r. Avar ca has som e w or ds. We also have a pr ofile of a day in the life of an anonym ous Rainier teacher, and som e m em or able quotes fr om teacher s! Check out som e of the photos fr om photogr aphy club, and r ead about updates fr om som e of Rainier ?s other clubs (w e guar antee w e?r e the fir st to publish them ). Rainier also has a podcast! Go check it out on pg. _! We also have our FIRST m usic r eview in this issue, and a r eview on a highly acclaim ed r ecent novel. 2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com

Weird Interviews with M r. Quezada and M s. Shemyakina TEACHER FEATURE By W illiam Teav We asked odd questions to our senior teacher s M r. Quezada and M s. Shemyakina r egar ding topics loosely per taining to their subject ar eas (Am er ican gover nm ent and envir onm ental science r espectively.)

QUEZADA I f ther e wa s a zombie a poca lypse, which histor ica l figur es would you r ecr uit for your sur viva l tea m? Fir st, I?d pick Teddy Roosevelt Jr. He is a boss fr om the Spanish-Am er ican War. Not Taft though. He?s too fat. Tupac. He?s low to the gr ound; he?s a fast scavenger. He?s legit. We need intellectual capacity... M ar tin Luther King. He can inspir e us. I need som e w om en. Dolor es Huer ta. M ar gar et Thatcher too. She is a thug. This is har d. I w ish I had m or e tim e. I?m r eally ser ious about zom bie apocalypses.

M r. Quezada poses w ith his leg and M s. Shemyakina poses w ith her m acar oni and cheese (M r. Quezada/M s. Shemyakina).

outw eighs his passion for sustainability. M s. Rieder is likely the m ost sustainable because I never see her using non-r eusable container s. And she has also the long flow ing hair of a hippie, w hich cor r elates to sustainability.

I f you could have a ny cr eatur e, r ea l or fa ke, a s a pet, I f you wer e Pr esident of the United States, which tea cher what would you have? would you nominate a s your Vice Pr esident? Not Avar ca. He w ould under m ine m e, I don?t think he?s a good I w ould have a hyper sm ar t fluffy puppy. It w ould be a husky, choice. Shemyakina gets along w ith m e w ell. We com plim ent per haps m ixed w ith a labr ador in the fluffiest w ay possible. each other like Ying and Yang. It w ould not scr atch or poop. It w ould sim ply cuddle, r un, Should the gover nment punish people who ta ke longer and poop out gold coins. tha n thir ty minutes to shower ? I f you could be a ny type of fish, what fish would you be? Yes. Ther e?s absolutely no r eason w hy you should spend m or e If I w er e to be som ething m ajestic, like a tuna or m acker el, I than 15 - 20 m inutes in the show er. Should we ma ndate envir onmenta l impa ct sur veys befor e w ould be caught by unsustainable fishing m ethods, w hich w ould be sad because I w ould be dead. But I w ould like to be a llowing childr en to build sa ndca stles? No! Because w e ar e infr inging on the r ight to pur sue a sm all school fish w hich Am er icans do not find palatable happiness. As long as w e don?t have ever y kid building sand but I w ould have a sm all br ain and be dum b. Out of all the castles, it should be fine. fish in the sea, senior s ar e the one for m e. Should people who fa r t mor e pay some globa l wa r ming W hat?s your favor ite biome? fee? Cr ap. I haven?t passed that playlist yet. Per haps but ther e is no w ay of keeping tr ack unless they log how m any tim es they per for m this action. Descr ibe your funda menta l niche. Should we r equir e ba ckgr ound checks for water guns?

Kentucky bluegr ass sur r ounded by tall tr ees and close Ar e you ser ious? No because that is a slipper y slope. If w e go pr oxim ity to highly intelligent husky-labr ador hybr ids and dow n that r oad, w e w ill live w ith a gover nm ent that w ill take steak . over our lives. How does this compa r e to your r ea lized niche? Of the two extr emes of the politica l spectr um, would you pr efer communism or fa scism? I stand a lot m or e and ther e ar e a lot few er husky-labr ador Com m unism . I think ther e is an incr easing divide in incom e hybr ids. inequality today and m any com m unities ar e m ar ginalized and Ar e you a hur r ica ne or a tor na do? com m unism m ay initially solve that. Do you think communists a r e under mining the pr ogr ess of I?m a soft br eeze beneath the w ings of know ledge. Amer ica n society?

W hat?s your favor ite type of pollution?

No because they ser ve as the dissenting voice and w e need Dam n it, I asked you guys that w hen you w er e about to take m ultiple per spectives in or der to m ake the gr eatest dem ocr acy. your content assessm ents. Pr obably ozone as a gr eenhouse SHEM YAKI NA gas because you think ozone is a soft and fluffy gas that pr otects against the sun but the ozone that w e em it has an Tell me your opinion a bout spider s. opposite effect, w hich is causing global clim ate change. Spider s ar e m ajestic cr eatur es as dem onstr ated by the nonfiction docum entar y Har r y Potter . In that nonfiction film , spider s ar e r evealed to be eight-legged, cour ageous, and I n conclusion, we lear ned that M r. Quezada hungr y - all of my favor ite things. I n your opinion, which tea cher s a r e the most/lea st suppor ts communism while M s. Shemyakina is envir onmenta lly fr iendly? obsessed with fluffiness. We also lear ned that W ho do I see w ith Star bucks all the tim e? Ok . I think Sr. both teacher s Avar ca goes to Star bucks ver y fr equently and I have never Avar ca. seen him use a r eusable cup. I think his thir st for iced coffee 2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com

have

something

against

M r.

A Bl ast to th e Past at th e Sadi e's Dance!

Photos by Azr a Hill and M s. Goddar d

Collage by W illiam Baker

ELUSI V E BOCK FROWN

Wanna know what some of the seniors really have to say about some topics? Watch the first episode of The Bark right here to find out!!!

We all know M r. Bock is the coolest assistant dir ector ever. He is helpful, fr iendly, and know ledgeable, to nam e a few char acter istics. How ever, w e alm ost never get to see one shining quality-- his fr ow n. We all know it likes to hide, but ever y once in a w hile, som e of us ar e lucky to see this sneaky pout for a snippet of a second. But the fact is, w e w anted to see M r. Bock?s elusive facial expr ession m or e often. We w anted pr oof. So w hat ar e w e to do? W E GOT PROOF.

Thanks to photogr apher Alyssa M ar tinez for captur ing this elusive fr ow n!

Statue ..statue, they can. I honestly don?t car e.? Som e students, how ever, ar e less excited for the statue. Students like Ivan Delgado have gone as far as to claim that this statue is exclusionar y. ?I per sonally am not a m em ber of the Zism an Cult. M any of us pr efer the Cult of the Lost English Teacher, and I feel like w e should be r espected just like the Zism an Cultists.? In r esponse to this kind of r esponded, ?I don?t car e.?

sentim ent, Ger ar do Delgado

The 50-foot statue is expected to be finished by M ay this year. It w ill featur e M r. Zism an w ear ing a cultist?s gow n and talking about Pr oposed Pose for the Zism an Statue (Nate Tibbles). polynom ials.

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Bye Avarca... WHERE ARE THEY NOW? M r. Avarca By W illiam Teav W hy did you decide to leave Summit? I decided to leave because the people ar en't as pr etty her e and Hollyw ood has pr ettier people. I?m also leaving because M r. Roe w ouldn?t give me a r aise. The students ar e too nice to each other. I w ish they w er e m eaner to each other. I also w ant my ow n bathr oom . I also w anted a bigger (M r. Avar ca). aquar ium to have m or e m entor pets and Sum m it w on't pay for that. One r eason w hy I w anted to stay w as because the students ar e on top of things. They ar e alw ays tur ning in their pr ojects on tim e and passing their content assessm ents. W her e will you go now? I am fulfilling my lifelong goal of becom ing an actor and getting a star in Hollyw ood. I w ant to be in a Car l?s Jr. com m er cial w ith Kim Kar dashian and w e plan on br eaking the Inter net together. W hat will you miss a bout the school? I w ill m iss my students. I w ill m iss them tur ning in w or k their on tim e. I w ill m iss M r. Roe sm iling dur ing m eetings. I?ll also m iss W illiam Teav and Haley Kim . W hat will you not miss a bout the school? I w on?t m iss doing dur ing lunch and br unch. I also w on?t m iss obnoxious super vision teacher s like M r. Br odsky and M r. Lee and M s. Beaven and M r. Lin and M s. M ar sden. Have I listed all the 11th gr ade teacher s? I think I did. I w on't m iss my students annoying Fr ida. Fr ida w ont m iss anything either ; she?s delighted that w e w ill be m oving to Los Angeles. W hat a dvice do you have for your mentor gr oup a s they go thr ough this difficult pr ocess? Good luck . Happy face. Don't w r ite em ails. Don't call m e. I?m not r esponding. They should be sur pr ised by this. W hat do you have to say a bout Queza da ?s a nd Shemya kina ?s comments? You know. They say you a r en?t eco-fr iendly a nd ca n?t be a good vice pr esident. W ho ar e they again?

PROM I S COM I NG UP! TI CK ET BOOTH I N 1218

Any la st comments? Yes. I don?t know how this school w ill exist w ithout m e. I think the school should get shut dow n because it can?t sur vive w ithout my per sonality. DBQs w ill never be the sam e. APUSH w ill never be the sam e. W ho else is going to cuss you out w hen you ar e going to class? Tell Quezada and Shemyakina to stop talking smack and do their job. They need to focus on getting students to college.

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Sereni ty and Grumpy ADVICE COLUM N How do I get someone to give me a cute pr om pr oposal? Gr u m p y : In this economy? Ha. You?d be lucky if they go to the dollar stor e and pur chase a sign that goes for thr ee for one, then w r ite it w ith som e pen he found on the str eet on his w ay back to his bor r ow ed car. In the m idst of him r etur ning to his house, he stops by See?s Candy to buy their ?w ill expir e tom or r ow ? candy for 80% off. So, be gr ateful if he goes to the near est 7-11 to buy their synthetic flow er s.

m aking any fr iends at this institution. Only a handful of people her e w ill actually m ake a m eaningful im pact on your life. Tem por al or even ever lasting. Don?t w aste your tim e w ith those folks. Leave and find your ver sion of handful of people.

S: Find som e new people to hang w ith. Take a br eak . People can be annoying, I get it. I w ouldn't com pletely cut them out of your life because of that but if they buggin' you, som etim es its best to do you. W hat do you do when you have to choose between your fr iends? G: Bottom line you?r e on your ow n in this w or ld. Do those fr iends r eally m atter if you have to choose?

S: Is it even w or th your tim e deciding? Think about if the situation is even w or th having. No one said you even had to pick . Choose you. How do you r eact when you find out that your fr iend has

Serenity: You just can?t for ce som eone to do som ething (tr ust been talking about you behind your back?

m e, I know fr om exper ience). Just go w ith the flow. And w hose to say you can?t be the one to give it. If you w ant a G: I?d laugh like * * * * * * * cr azy. I am going places, w hile they ar e stuck w ith their jealousy in their r un dow n hom es. I do not cute pr om posal, you got to initiate it your self. have tim e for people w ho never felt the w inds of a for eign How har d is the APUSH exam? countr y, never felt the cr isp touch a stack of Benjis, or even som eone w ho has never taken any r isks in their lives. G: Har d enough.

S: Lets just say I w ould listen to M r. Avar ca and actually S: Cut that * * * * * off. You don't have tim e for that in your life. study for this one. Dates and Peoples' accom plishm ents ar e They clear ly don't car e about you so w hy do you still consider actually im por tant. Also those essays you have to w r ite? Your them a fr iend? hand w ill be num b at the end. Good Luck! I 'm scar ed of going to pr om and the study tr ip. I 'm scar ed I 'm par anoid that in my sleep, a big meme is going to eat because I 'm going to be for ced to see my ex with someone new; I still love my ex but they don't love me anymor e. I me. How do I stop the memes fr om happening? avoid them at school as much as possible but at pr om I 'm G: Suck it up. not gonna be able to not see the beauty that I 'm missing out S: Stop the tum blr and go to bed. on. I t has been a while since we br oke up so my hear t has healed a bit but I was suppose to take my ex to pr om and I W hy is M r. Roe so attr active? still can't stand that all our plans wer e thr own out of the G: Back off. He is m ine. Stay in your lane. window. I think my question r eally is should I avoid these S: Because w hy not? activities even though I know it will hur t seeing them W hy doesn't M r. Roe submit something for the Elusive together or should I just be br ave and suffer thr ough it? Roe so he can just win the pr ize?

G: Child chill. You ar e in high school under going the hills of G: He pr obably has better things to do than w aste anym or e puber ty. Tr ust m e w hat you feeling is not love. Tr y sear ching the w or ld Lust on google and it should r edir ect you to tim e at this facility. infatuation. S: M r. Roe's still w or king on his selfie gam e. So w e have to S: Hear ts br eak , w e get it. We accept it. How ever don't let that take them for him . stop you fr om living your life and having fun. Go w ith som e W ho is REALLY the per son answer ing the advice column? fr iends and enjoy your self. If you still can't fathom the thought G: I don?t know. of being ther e w ith your ex, don't go and do som ething else. Gather the fr iends ar ound w ith food. I hear Netflix has the new season of House of Car ds. Sounds like a par ty to m e.

S: Damn i t . Ok ay you found me out . I ?m Jami e Foxx.

All the senior s ar e so hot but I like one in par ticular. Should I tr y to get with my dr eam guy even though he is W hy is it winner -winner -chicken-dinner ? W hat if I want leaving in a couple months? steak? Or bacon? G: No.

S: Or Ice cr eam ? Wow I never r eally thought of this befor e. Thanks for br inging it to my attention and the next tim e I m eet the per son w ho said this I?ll ask them for you. W hat's the differ ence between a sweet potato and a yam?

G: Cal m your h ormones. A l so, w h at seni or i s h ot. Let me k now . I w ant to see w h at you are seei ng.

G: W hy so you can follow the footsteps of your pr edecessor s S: He's leaving in a couple m onths. To college. W ith a w hole and find another w ay to discr im inate? new adventur e w aiting for him . I m ean go for it but S: Only one is w or th my tim e. under stand that it m ight not w or k out-- long distance and all W hat should I do if my fr iends get too annoying and I that. But hey, no har m in asking and finding out r ight? Better can't stand to be ar ound them? to get an answ er now than w hen he's gone for good. G: Your fir st m istake w as having such low standar ds for

Send your q uesti ons to ti nyurl .com/ sereni tyandgrumpy

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M r. Roe mak es a conf essi on By Haley Kim M r. Roe cam e out as a pogonophile last Wednesday after glitter, pom -pom s, and paper clips spilled out of his backpack in fr ont of a gr oup of 12th gr ade students. (Alyssa M ar tinez). Students had been asked to speak w ith M r. Roe on an undisclosed m atter w hen senior W illiam Teav accidentally bum ped against the chair that r ested M r. Roe?s backpack . The open backpack tum bled to the floor, w her e thr ee jar s of glitter, tw o packages of pom -pom s, and a zipped bag of paper clips fell out.

?I tr ied putting the stuff back into the backpack . That?s w hen I discover ed the Pogonophiles For Dummies book in his backpack , and then ever ything m ade sense. I under stood that my pr incipal had a secr et hobby. I didn?t know that he had that side to him ,? said Teav. Teav r epor ted that M r. Roe w as silent for about 20 seconds. ?He w as unusually calm , w ith slight blushing. He said, ?I have som ething to tell you. I love to dr ess up my bear d and I love to m ake it look pr etty, because that?s w ho I am . I know you?ll under stand this but I w ant you to keep this a secr et.? He says he doesn?t tr ust the school w ith this type of sensitive infor m ation. ?We know w hat happened w ith M s. Shemyakina, I don?t w ant it to happen to m e,?[he said].? M r. Roe claim s that he tr ied to keep his status as a pogonophile, or adm ir er of bear ds, under w r aps because of fear that students w ould tr eat him differ ently. ?It?s a secr et par t of my identity that I didn?t w ant students to know about. It?s not ver y popular, so I w as afr aid people w ould m ake fun of m e. Som etim es high school students ar e not so nice to people w ho ar e differ ent fr om them ,? he explained.

M usic How you like us now?? This is the ver se r apped by 18 year old Sw edish under gr ound per for m er Jonatan Leandoer Hast책d (stage nam e Yung Lean) as he per for m s at the Independent in June of 2014. How ever, he is not alone. W ith him , is Yung Gud and Yung Sher m an, along w ith W hitear m our. The thr ee ar e pr oducer s, fr equently attr ibuted to Yung Lean?s atm ospher ic and ether eal beats. On stage, they can be seen behind Leandoer playing the instr um entals and adding sound effects to his voice and the tr ack itself. Jonatan is par t of the Sad Boys, a collective of pr oducer s and r apper s w ho all pr oduce m usic together for fun. The collective consists of Yung Lean, Yung Gud, Yung Sher m an, Bladee, ECCO2K, and W hitear m our. Just only r ecently, how ever, I had the pr ivilege to listen to Yung Lean?s new album , titled Unknown M emor y. Below I have com piled tw o of my favor ite tr acks fr om Leandoer ?s album . Tr ack 1: Volt Descr iption: Star ting off the list is Volt, a high ener gy in-your -face tr ack . In this par ticular tr ack , Yung Lean r aps about par tying the night aw ay w ith his cr ew. The har d-style elem ents can clear ly be hear d ar ound the 2 m inute m ar k , w her e a kick dr um pounds aw ay at the listener ?s ear s. Tr ack 2: LeanWor ld Descr iption: In the last tr ack of the list, is one of my all-tim e favor ites fr om Yung Lean. This tr ack is com pletely differ ent fr om the other s on the album . The tr ack itself featur es ver y little instr um entation, consisting only of an air y and ether eal pad accom panied by a heavily r ever bed piano. follow ed by an 808 kick-dr um .

M r. Roe said he uses var ious item s, such as the glitter, pom pom s, and paper clips to exper im ent w ith in his styling his bear d. ?I like posting pictur es, my selfie bear d pictur es to my secr et Instagr am pr ofile,? he said. M r. Roe said that despite this r ecent r evelation though, he w ill never shar e his pr ofile w ith students. ?Nobody w ill ever find it. It?s extr em ely secr et.? Teacher s have had m ixed, but ultim ately suppor tive, r eactions upon hear ing M r. Roe?s confession. ?I alw ays knew M r. Roe had a secr et, he just w asn?t r eady to shar e w ith us. I?m glad w e have such an open and accepting com m unity that he feels com for table for being w ho he r eally is. I never thought his secr et w ould be so br ight and color ful and shiny,? said M s. Beaven, Rainier ?s 11th gr ade AP English Language teacher. M r. Bock agr eed. ?I didn?t know that, but it?s not sur pr ising in any w ay. M r. Roe has alw ays taken ver y good car e of his bear d and um , I did like, you know, som etim es you see a little glitter left over in it and it m akes sense now,? he com m ented. ?I think I am pr oud of M r. Roe for being open and honest and I think it w ill help us build a cultur e of openness and honestness at Rainier.? W ith his secr et now r evealed, M r. Roe says he expects the Rainier com m unity to feel confused, but to not w or r y. ?I think I have alw ays been [a pogonophile], but I didn?t r ealize

(https://audioaddictm ag.files.w or dpr ess.com /2014/09/ unknow nm em or y.jpg)

it until about thr ee year s ago,? added M r. Roe. He w ill be the sam e as ever, he says, and his public r eveal of his pogonophile hobby w on?t change anything. M r. Roe says he hopes he inspir es students to follow their passions and inter ests. He said that if students w ant to par take in his hobby and becom e a pogonophile, they should explor e online. ?Do your r esear ch, ther e?s a lot of gr eat w ebsites w her e you can lear n a lot about this hobby,? encour aged M r. Roe.

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A School Day in the Eyes of a Teacher By A n A nonymous Teach er 6:15AM ? Hit the SNOOZE 6:20AM ? Hit the SNOOZE ? 6:40AM ? Hit the SNOOZE 6:45AM ? Oh boy, another day. As I sw ing my feet out fr om under the cover s, I feel the tightness in my hips fr om yester day?s w or kout. I dr ape my r obe over m e and go outside to r etr ieve the new spaper. The cool m or ning air slither s thr ough my loose

I make my fir st decision of the day: Cinnamon Toast Cr unch or Honey Nut Cheer ios. clothes, and my eyes slow ly per k up.

?Cher r y lips, Cr ystal skies,? ? As Taylor Sw ift sings in the backgr ound, I?m w eaving thr ough tr affic passing car s left and r ight. How can I position myself on the r oad to avoid being behind a slow dr iver ? W hat is the m ost efficient path ar ound this tr uck? I glance at the em pty r oad in the car pool lane. It is so tem pting. 8:00AM . Per fect tim ing. I w alk pass students sitting on the picnic benches w onder ing w hy they w ould com e to school so ear ly and not attend m or ning PLT. They ar e better off sleeping in so that they can be m or e focused in class. W hen I get to my r oom , usually a m entee or tw o is ther e to gr eet m e. I pull out my laptop and star t the m ar athon. 1:00PM . W hen lunch r olls ar ound, I finally feel like I can take a br eath. After teaching for the fir st tw o

I swiftly walk to the faculty r estr oom as seagulls hover above r eady to dr op their payloads on me. I get back to my blocks, I

need

som e fr esh

air.

nice quiet classr oom and pull out my sandw ich. It?s a good thing I don?t get sick of these. I don?t r em em ber w hen I ate som ething other than a sandw ich for lunch. Of cour se, lunch isn?t long enough, and my Yahoo sur fing is cut

smelly teenager s r eaching for tissues at my shor t

desk to sop up their sweat after playing basketball.

ever ything that happened that day. All of my w or k is left at

2:05PM . The m ost r elaxing par t of the day is w hen I am on my pr ep and it is em pty outside. M y r oom has not been this quiet since the m or ning. I lean back in my chair, put my feet up on my desk , and shut my eyes? Nope. I pull my feet off my desk , sit back up, and star t w r iting out a list of tasks.

the door. M y only focus is on pulling or pr essing m or e w eight than I did last w or kout.

4:00PM . Well, that w as a pr oductive 10 m inute tim e. Now let?s see w ho attends my office hour s? 6:00PM . ?How w as your day?? I ask my m entee. ?M eh.? ?I am dinner ??

star ving.

W hat?s

for

?I don?t know.? ?W hat did you eat last night?? ?Ham bur ger s.? I pull out of the par king lot w ith my m entee seated next to m e. ?I w ant to build a M ech suit. I found out how to get the par ts. I can pr int them out using a 3-D pr inter ? ? his voice fades aw ay. ?So how is that pr oject com ing along?? I inter r upt. ?M eh,? he r esponds. 6:20PM . Nor m ally, I dr ive pr etty calm ly on my w ay hom e. Ther e is no r eason for m e to r ush back . M y fam ily w ill have alr eady finished eating befor e I r etur n. I set my cr uise contr ol and sur f the r adio.

ZOOOOOOOOOOM .

8:00PM . Once I digest dinner, it?s tim e for the gym . At this tim e, ther e ar e only a few elder ly people w ho ar e m indlessly w alking on the tr eadm ill.

The gym is my temple. I can clear my mind of car dio?

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Even better, let?s look at the r evision histor y to see when the last time this student touched his pr oject. Nah, I w ant to look at som e my pr oject.

good new s. W ho passed a playlist of m ine today? As I skim the spr eadsheet, I pass over each gr een bar. Success. 11:00PM . I guess I could go to bed at this tim e. But, I am on a r oll gr ading. I know that if I stop, then I pr obably w ill not pick it back up until the w eekend. 12:30AM . Okay, I can?t keep my eyes open. Tim e for bed. But after slipping into bed, I continue my bad habit. I touch the YouTube app on my phone and check to see w ho posted a new video. ?HOW To Im pr ove Your Deadlift, Squat & OHP,? ?Conan Lear ns To Dance Cuban Rum ba,? and ?Half-Ice Hockey Dr ills: Long/Shor t Passing? all jum p out at m e. I r em em ber r eading an ar ticle saying not to look at your phone befor e going to bed because it w ill pr event you fr om getting a good

Oh well, I ?m only getting six hour s anyways. night?s r est.

m otor cyclist r ushes past m e. I w ould have ignor ed him , but he tur ns back to star e m e dow n. M y eyes light up like a dog?s after spotting a squir r el acr oss the yar d. I dow nshift, and my car r evs. Let?s play.

W ho?s got tim e for

9:30PM . After a show er and pr otein shake, it?s tim e to open up the laptop again. Let?s see w ho?s ?on-tr ack? for

Can you guess w h o th i s teach er i s? Emai l 2th ebul l dogbul l eti n @gmai l .com w i th th e subj ect " M ysteri ous Teach er" and th e f i rst correct person w i ns... a pat on th e bat f or k now i ng your teach ers so w el l .

Style By M eaghan Allen w as pr edictable w ith its pow der y pinks and flow er y pr ints, som e designer s stunned. Zuhair M ur ad, Dolce and Gabbana, and Naeem Khan, and especially Alice+Olivia, w ith its r efr eshing tailor ed, pr eppy silhouettes. And, the str eet style w as not to be m issed! M en and w om en w ith Doc M ar tens and boyfr iend jeans, tailor ed coats and fr inge. This year, New Yor k Fashion Week did not disappoint, and I can?t w ait to see the details and silhouettes of the spr ing incor por ated into the w or ld?s style this season.

Cringe-worthy A cademic Jokes

Print your copy at tinyurl.com/ Aprilcrosswordprint

By W illiam Teav and Club Wr iter s

You mi gh t f i nd th ese j ok es as stal e, ch eesy, or dow nri gh t aw f ul . Th at?s al ri gh t. We do too.

Topi c: M ath emati cs - I?m 95% confident you w ill pass that statistics assessm ent. - M y statistics teacher called m e aver age. That w as m ean.

- M e: W hy is ther e sand on my plate? - Science Teacher : But I thought you w anted deser t! - W hy w er e you banned fr om the aquar ium ? - Because you dr opped the bass. - W hy w er e baseball player s banned fr om the chem istr y lab? - They kept stealing the bases. - Did you hear about these cr azy r ocks? Fir st they cr ash into our w indow s. Now they ar e aim ing for our car s. - Yeah. They ar e getting boulder. - W hat should you buy for a vegetar ian w edding? - A tw o-car r ot diam ond.

- Her e?s a statistics-them ed pickup line: You?r e thr ee standar d deviations above the m ean. - I r an out of quar ter s for the laundr om at so I - W hat?s M r. Lee?s favor ite food? Pi. stor m ed outside, star ed at the sky, and dem anded - W hat does M r. Lee do w hen he gets a contr act? He sines it. for som e clim ate change. - W hy did the statistics teacher go to the baker y? To get som e dice r olls. - M r. Lee says, ?Don?t dr ink and der ive!?

Topi c: Sci ence - W hich elem ent m akes you fall asleep dur ing class? - Bor on. - Did you hear about that star par ty? - It w as a big bang. - W hat do you call a chem ist w ho is also a poor dr iver ? - Som eone w ho?s br aking bad. - W hat did the physics teacher say w hen she shocked her self? - That Her tz! - W hy did the physics teacher go to the m all? - To buy som e Joules. - W hy did M s. Shemyakina?s cake taste so funny? - She added too m uch flow er. - Can you tell m e som ething about salt? - Na.

Topi c: Hi story & Gov ernment - W hy do m em ber s of Congr ess m ake good lum ber jacks? - They know how to logr oll. - W hat do you call a w alk to our old bathr oom s? - Tr ail of Tear s.

- John Adam s w as so concer ned about extr ater r estr ial r elationships that he passed the Alien and Seduction Acts.

- Did you hear about Thom as Paine?s latest book on coin collecting? It?s titled Common Cents. - W hy did John Quincy Adam s fail as a salesm an? - Ever ybody knew he gave a cor r upt bar gain. - The Vatican bought som e eagles. They?r e bir ds of pr ay. - W hat's black , w hite, and r ed all over ? - Soviet pr opaganda. - W hat do com m unists do w hen they get lost? - They follow the r ed star. - W hat did Hitler say to Br itain and Fr ance after taking over the Sudetenland? - Czechm ate - W hat?s the Pr esident?s least favor ite desser t? - Im -peach-m ent pie. 2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com 9

Shout-Outs shouts-out to M r. Roe he b a real brotha Thank you Evan Lee, for being so H-Evan-Lee (heavenly). Shoutout to M r. Carrillo for alw ays putting up w ith me harassing him. You' re the best! -Dillon Pardini I w ant to give a shout out to Sean Gage for supporting everyone in Global Glimpse, and for encouraging them to put in as much as effort as they can to be on track!

CLUB LEADERS!!! Want some promotion for your club? Send in your club advertisements/flyers to be published into upcoming issues! Request an interview to be featured in upcoming issues! Email 2thebulldogbulletin@gmail.com with the subject "Club Business."

-Iveth Resendiz Shout out to Sidra Rashid for having the sw eetest heart!

Th e Room

-Iveth Resendiz Shout out to M s.Beaven for having the best library in the school! -Iveth Resendiz I w ould like to shout out Freddy Bailon because, Hes alw ays smiling through the hard times and putting w ork into his classes as much as he can even w hen they become hard he stays after school to get w ork done, and alw ays gives the best advice <3 -Vanessa Valencia

By M eaghan Allen and Haley Kim

Ascending the m etallic r unw ay, I gasped as the por tal to the inner br ains of Rainier r evealed itself. A cr eatur e, w ith coffee stained lips and a beaten up m etallic box, em er ged fr om the por tal. It gr eeted m e, or at least I pr esum e that to be the sentim ent behind the slick w or ds er upting fr om the thing?s thr oat. I passed it, pr oceeding to step thr ough the thr eshold of the r oom as I m et a cold fr ont of air. I shiver ed. W ithin stood som e sor t of r ectangular sur face, br oad and flat, m ounted upon a tetr ad of black m etal cylinder s. Upon the gr ay face of the fixtur e lay an ar r ay of thin r ectangular sheets, litter ed haphazar dly w ith long w ooden utensils, painted a br illiant yellow and pointed at one end. At the other, a dented m etal nub, im pr essioned w ith w hat could only be descr ibed as gnaw ing teeth m ar ks.

Shout out to Gabriel Estrada for his constant focus and persistence As I dr ifted past the str ange utensils, I landed in fr ont of through challenging math concepts an enor m ous snow -color ed r ectangular pr ism . I could not during Summit Solves -M r. Lee Shout out to the entire Summit Roller Hockey team for coming together after a tough first half of the year. I am very proud of everyone' s grow th mindset and passion for the game. -M r. Lee I w ant to shoutout Azra Hill for helping me w ith anything I need. From school w ork to helping me dress better. Thanks a bunch. ILY -M ickayla-Bay Washington Know someone w ho helped you out? Think someone totally deserves some recognition for a project or accomplishing a playlist? Send in your Shout-Outs! Students, teachers, and faculty can send in shout-outs to other people in the Rainier community. You can specify if you w ant to remain anonymous. Send in your shout-outs to tinyurl.com/bbshoutouts.

under stand the seem ingly inanim ate object, for it w as softly pur r ing and hum m ing. It also seem ed to be attr acting objects-som e of the r ectangular sheets w er e hanging off the box, som ehow attached w ith color ed shapes. I touched one of the odd shapes, and w ith a gentle tug w as able to pull it off. I felt a shor t, str ong suction betw een m e and the box, and looked dow n at the shape I now had in my hand. The r ectangular sheet it w as attached to w as now on the floor. I star ed in w onder at the pr ism -- ther e w as no w ay it w as inanim ate, for it w as clear ly r adiating pow er betw een the shape and the sheet, befor e I had just deactivated it. I br ought the color ed shape closer to the box, and w hen it w as about an inch aw ay I felt the str ong tug again-it appear ed the box only had a sm all cir cle of influence. I felt a fir m pat on my shoulder. I looked dow n, a sickly pale appendage r ested on m e, its claw s painted a var iety of slick hues. Its voice w as a cacophony, the volum e so gr eat, I str uggled not to shield my ear s. I didn?t quite know w hat it had said, but it w as far fr om fr iendly. It pointed a single talon tow ar ds the por tal. I knew w hat I m ust do. I stepped acr oss the slightly fuzzy gr ound, know ing that its blue speckled textur e w ould soon be but a fleeting m em or y. I felt the cold m etal paddle at the por tal as I tur ned it, allow ing myself to exit. Finally, the cr eatur e?s scr eam s subsided, r eplaced instead w ith the fam iliar cr y of students heading to their r espective classes. Tw as nothing but a typical day at Sum m it Rainier.

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THE PULP Rev i ew i ng th e j ui ci est stori es dow n to th e pul p.

Legit Teacher Quotes and Thoughts: By Anina Hitt and Club Wr iter s

?Parkour!?

By Em ily Kobayashi Im agine. One w hole day of doing nothing at all. It?s not the w eekend, no -it?s Fr iday at Sum m it. Em er y Watson tells the poignant stor y of how she sur vived high school in her book How to Sur vive Summit. Em er y begins her tale as a m iddle school student. ?I didn?t know w hat I w as signing up for. I just knew that it w as a school.? After lear ning that she w ould have to take 2 hour s of m ath, she w as appalled, "A com ing of age stor y like never befor e. Ver y ?Tw o entir e hour s of poignant, did not put the book dow n until the ver y last w or d." - Em ilaleyHalem ily m ath? W hy???? Then cam e the next blow -Khan Academy for hom ew or k . After staying after school for at least tw o hour s each w eek on Fr iday for Fr iday Night Lights (to finish hom ew or k , not to w atch the m ovie), she becam e an exper t at happily w heeling ar ound on a sw ivel chair. In the follow ing year, an enor m ous r oom w as constr ucted for w hich class? M ath of cour se! In this chaotic r oom of 200 students, she w as expected to teach her self m ath. ?Teach myself m ath? Ha! Nice one! It w as so innovative that people w er e alw ays w atching us. Like a lab r at.? Em er y lear ned to skillfully avoid being caught w hile r unning thr ough the a never ending hallw ays w hich w er e alw ays tr ying to kill her. Follow ing the guinea pig year, the entir e school r elocated to a pr ison looking cam pus. Em er y only had one hour of m ath, but a w hole day on Fr iday to do w or k . ?You know w hat I?m going to talk about next? Not m ath. That entir e idea died.? An integr al par t of the r eason she stayed, m entor tim e, w as r eplaced by Sum m it Reads, w her e ever yone pr etended to r ead w hen they w er e r eally just goofing off. W hen the r ising senior s w er e to m ove cam puses, som eone finally told the school ?to stop m essing w ith our education!? She gives out all her secr ets on passing content assessm ents, ?C is cor r ect, except w hen it?s not. It?s the only w ay I passed all my assessm ents? That is w hen I?m not typing aw ay desper ately on the keyboar d to m ake m usic.?

?EVAN LEE! EVAN LEE! EVAN LEE!? ?It?s not supposed to be fun.? ?You don?t know my life." ?Not my future.? ?Tickle each other quietly, please.?

?Imagine me and Shemyakina were married?

?Life?s the only STD that?s 100 percent fatal.?

?You?re on the struggle bus.? ?Don?t be a turd!? ?Help me! Help me! Help me!? ?We all have different juices.? ?We have to check the rooms!?

?Just- just please get into bed with them.? ?...Lechuga...? ?Did someone call me stupid?? ?The AC?s too hot.?

?Gene Flow.? ?She?s tough but she?s not dead. Not that I hope she is.? ?I talk a lot. Don?t quote me. Write it in your own words.? ?It?s a good book I swear I?m not crazy- well I might be crazy, but it?s good anyway.?

The stor y concludes w ith the follow ing statem ent: ?I?m not the best student. I?ve lied, cheated, and played gam es, but I?ve also sur vived the cr azy changes. I?ve becom e m or e adaptable. Sur e I com plained about the school, I?m a hor m onal teenager, and I?ll alw ays com plain about the school. It?s not just about the changes the school m akes. It?s about the people w e find, the changes w e m ake, inter nally and exter nally.?

young gir l?s insane exper ience at a cr azy school. Although it is descr ibed as com ing to age stor y, it?s m ostly w r itten in str eam of consciousness of the ever yday events of an extr em ely sar castic student. The m isleading title has gotten m ultiple m ountain clim ber s to r ead it, w hich cor r esponds to the extr em ely low r ating on Goodr eads. How ever, How to Sur vive Summit is a delightful easy r ead, so I give this book 5 star s for accur acy and r elatability.

How to Sur vive Summit is a hilar ious novel about a 2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com

SCHOOL UPDA TES By Ben Gilm or e

flesh hitting flesh.

- Hunger Games Cl ub lost another 23 m em ber s this

- Socrati c semi nar i n a h i story cl assroom has been

w eek .

- Sw ord-Sw al l ow i ng

Cl ub

m em ber s r ecently all becam e sick . Sym ptom s include sor e thr oats and excessive coughing. Rai ni er f acul ty announces that ever y teacher is leaving the school at the end of the year. Ever y. Single. One. Summi t announces a 7th Core Ch aracteri sti c . The list w ill now be Responsibility, Com passion, Cur iosity, Integr ity, Respect, Cour age, and Insanity. St. Patri ck ?s Day rui ned at Rainier w hen Lepr echauns steal M r. Bock?s pot of gold. Dispute betw een Ch ess Cl ub and Bi ngo Cl ub ar ose last w eek w hen the tw o club pr esidents ar gued over w hich club m eeting cam e B4 the other. Journal i sm Cl ub fails to send out new issue. W hat ar e you r eading? W her e ar e you? W ho ar e you? W ho am I? League of Legends Cl ub has not been seen in 3 w eeks. The other students ar e getting w or r ied. Their club r oom sm ells suspiciously like unshow er ed teenager s and stale Dor itos. We hope for their safe r etur n to us soon. Journal i sm Cl ub Sch ool Update w ri ter goes insane w r iting school updates. Box i ng Cl ub upset w hen w eir d padded gloves and punching bags ar e deliver ed to school, instead of the car dboar d boxes they or der ed. Summi t Rai ni er teach ers unanim ously decide to legally change their fir st nam es to ?M ister ? or ?M iss? to avoid confusion. Leg w armers com e back in, then back out, of fashion w ithin a day at Sum m it Rainer ; m ost students and faculty ar e oblivious, but M s. Helen. She know s som ething. Summi t Rai ni er Sci ence Cl ub pr ove that the color gr een is a myth. If you see color, you ar e cr azy. In w hich case, good job! You ar e follow ing our new 7th Cor e Char acter istic. Rai ni er Baseb al l team finds out that ther e is in fact an I in team . It is betw een the ?e? and the ?a?. Changes to the team ?s schedule and r oster changed soon after. To avoid long com m utes to school, Sum m its students took the school, and pushed it som ew her e else. Jour nalism Club is w aiting to find out w her e our new sch ool l ocati on w ill be at. Book Cl ub r oom destr oyed after the m ost r ecent club m eeting. Onlooker s r epor t that ther e w as a scr eam ?W hat do you m ean he dies?!? and then the sound of br eaking glass, follow ed by a high pitched scr eam and the sound of

going on for 4 days str aight now, has r educed to students r epeating ?Sam e? over and over. They do not know w hat they ar e saying ?Sam e? to anym or e. Ther e is no clear sign that this w ill ever stop. Wi l l i am Bak er and Wi l l i am Teav have fight to the death m atch this Fr iday. Ther e can be only one. AP Envir onm ental Science teacher M s. Shemyakina announces Real i ty Ch eck Th ursdays at Rainier. The fir st w ill include the inevitable heat death of the univer se. Tahom a and Rainier announce the tw o schools w ill be m er ging next year. Debate has begun over the school m ascot being Bul l -Bi rds or Th under-Dogs. 12 students go mi ssi ng f or 3 days, r etur n as a single entity. The being claim s ?I w anna w r ite a book ,? but students ar e not sur e how they ar e going to do that w ith so m any ar m s in the w ay. Sum m it student invents ti me mach i ne, uses it to tur n in a pr oject done on tim e. Sum m it faculty r eplaces Sum m it Solves and Sum m it Reads w ith Summi t Sobs and Summi t Sl eeps. Khan Academy Website changes nam e to Wrath of K h an . Sw i mmi ng team disbands after r ealizing it is consider ably har der to sw im in concr ete. M s. Ri eder r eveals her r eal nam e to be M s. Reader. She w as under cover as a m ath teacher this w hole tim e. M r. Gri f f i n shocked his m entor gr oup w hen he told them he w as actually in Slyther in. ?He w ear s gr een a lot, but I m ean, com e one! He?s a r edhead, I w as sur e he w as a Weasley!? After Spani sh teach er states th at students ?Do not k now h i s l i f e,? students take the tim e to r ead up on him . They know his life now. They know ever ything about him . ?We know all. About. His life. His so ver y, ver y long life? com m ented one student, looking as if he had seen hor r or s unknow n to the r est of the w or ld. The Spanish teacher has r ecently becom e fr ightened of his students, w ho know all about his life.

Photography Club Gallery Photography Club meets every Wednesday after school in 1221! Contact Katie (kreguindin@mysummitps.org) for more info! Photos by Katie Reguindin

2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com

DI Y Spri ng Reci pes

By Alyssa M ar tinez and Vianet Or ozco

Robin Egg M ilkshake:

Bird Nest Eggs

I ngr edients:

W hipped Cr eam Ar ound 10 Robin Eggs 3 tablespoons M alted M ilk Pow der Âź cup of a M ilk of your choice 2 cups of Chocolate Ice Cr eam 1 cup of ice

Optional:

Chocolate Cake M ix 2-3 Eggs 1 Cup of Water ? Cup of Vegetable Oil Chocolate Spr inkles Robin Eggs

M ake sur e you have all of the essentials, such as:

- Spr inkles - Color ful str aw s

- Butter or Pam Baking Spr ay - Cupcake liner - Baking utensils

Steps: 1. Place the ice cr eam in your blender 2. Add in the m ilk (a little m or e if you w ant a cr eam ier textur e) 3. Next put in the m alted m ilk 4. Add in the ice 5. About 6 or 7 Robin Eggs! 6. Blend until nice and cr eamy 7. Pour into a cup and top off w ith w hipped cr eam

Steps:

Optional Steps: - M ash up a few m or e Robin Eggs to put on top of your shake All you need to do now is enjoy your shake!

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? M r. M alik

1. Pr eheat oven to 350 F 2. Spr ay Pam Baking Spr ay or Butter on each Pan (suggested to use these but you can alw ays substitute) - Liner w on't get stuck on pan. 3. Blend cake m ix w ith 2-3 eggs, 1 cup of w ater, and ? cup of vegetable oil. 4. M ix consistently until it doesn?t look lum py 5. Pour on each liner (m ake sur e linder s ar e into the pan) 6. Bake! Bir d Nest!

By Nate Tibbles We all w onder w hat our for m er teacher s ar e doing. Ar e they still teaching? Have they gr ow n a bear d? Do they still think about us!? Welcom e to ?W her e Ar e They Now ?? w her e w e catch up w ith som e of our depar ted teacher s. M r. M alik (also know n as Zayn M alik) w as once a m em ber of a popular boy band know n as N* Sync, but is pr obably best know n as one of the founding teacher s at Sum m it Rainier. In the 2011-2012 and 2012-2013 school year s, he taught physical education and has since left the school, citing per sonal r easons. He has since star ted pur suing a car eer as a Back w hen M r. M alik taught PE... der elict. (Stylesfor stiles.tum blr.com ). How have you been doing since leaving Summit? Well, I haven?t had to explain the logic behind PE Content Assessm ents to any sm ar t-alek fr eshm en, so that?s a plus. I have r eally enjoyed living behind your local Gr ocer y Outlet, though. Have you been wor king on your music? Not r eally. I m ostly just daydr eam about how sad all of my old students ar e now that I?ve left Sum m it. It m akes m e happy. That takes up the m ajor ity of my tim e. Do you miss a ny of your old students? No. I hated all of you. Still do. Especially W illiam Teav. He w as the w or st. I f you hate us, then why did you a gr ee to this inter view? I?m getting paid, ar en?t I? No. Oh. Well, this w as a w aste of tim e. I a gr ee. 2thebulldogbulletin@gm ail.com

- Once you?ve let it cool, add fr osting to your cupcake - Add your m ar velous chocolate spr inkles - Top it w ith delicious Robin Eggs And voila! You just m ade your self som e Bir d Nest Eggs, Happy Easter ever yone! Think it was fun to put together this issue of the Bulldog Bulletin? WELL IT SURE WAS! Still, we have plenty of room for more students to help write, photograph, edit, and layout our upcoming issues! Come join us! Journalism meets every Wednesday* @ Lunch in Room 1219 (M s. Beaven?s room). Email 2thebulldogbulletin@gmail.com to get added to the list! * No meetings during Expeditions Questions, comments, concerns, hopes, dreams, aspirations? Answer our survey at tinyurl.com/bulletinissue4 or email 2thebulldogbulletin@gmail.com to voice your opinion and you may be featured in the next issue!