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Volume 5, Issue 125 March 11th 2018
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Reduce Pre-Pesach Stress Through Understanding Hilchos Pesach Diminishing Pre-Pesach stress begins with knowledge of this basic principle: The Halochos of eating Chometz are very stringent, but the Halochos of OWNING chometz are much less so. Below are Torah scholars' directives regarding owning chometz and cleaning for Pesach. (Notes in parenthesis and brackets are explanatory comments. Also, italics and bold are added for emphasis.)
RAV CHAIM PINCHOS SCHEINBERG Zatzal, Rosh Yeshiva of Torah Ohr in Yerushalayim, taught the following: • If, during the year, chometz is not brought into a place, that place does not have to be cleaned out or checked for chometz. • The general obligation to check for & get rid of crumbs does not apply if the crumbs are less than the size of a k’zayis [an olive] and are dirty or spoiled enough to deter a person from eating them. (A kzayis is around 1/2 - 1 ounce.) • The cleaning product (regular household cleanser) must spoil the crumbs (only) slightly, to the extent that people would refrain from eating them. Rabbi Barclay and Rabbi Jaeger, authors of the Guideline Halacha Series, write that there are two mitzvos connected to the possession of chometz: • Not to see chometz or find it in one’s possessions (Lo Yeraeh and Lo Yemotzei) • To dispose of it. (Tashbisu) According to Torah law, it is enough to either get rid of the chometz, or to declare it null and void. Our sages required both for three reasons: • Our declaration should be sincere. • We shouldn’t accidentally eat chometz (that’s lying around)
• In order that overlooked chometz be included. “If the chometz is dirty, then only a piece that is the size of a k’zayis (or larger) must be removed.” “If the chometz is edible, then even a smaller [than a k’zayis] piece that one may be tempted to eat must be removed.” “Therefore, when cleaning for Pesach one must remove small pieces of edible chometz and large pieces of inedible chometz.” Books: Rabbi Barclay and Rabbi Jaeger also write that there is no need to check books, except for books that will be brought to the table. Those books should be either new or well cleaned. Bentchers used the whole year should not be
used on Pesach; they should be put away with the chometz because they often contain crumbs and are difficult to clean. (Nowhere is it mentioned that
the chometz crumbs have to be removed or that the bentchers and zemiros books have to be sold, even though chometz crumbs remain in them. The only rule is that they should be put away so that they are not accidentally brought to the table on Pesach.)
Toys that will be used on Pesach should be cleaned with soapy water and checked. Other toys should be put away. Special toys for Pesach are recommended. Clothing that won’t be worn on Pesach needs only a quick check. “Since they are not going to be worn, there is no concern that one may eat any crumbs that are there. Small crumbs do not have to be removed since there is no prohibition to own them during Pesach.” Light switches and door handles should be cleaned when necessary (After we touch them,
we may touch Pesach food, and the laws forbidding eating chometz are most stringent, as mentioned. Pens, pencils, combs, and hair brushes which might have some sticky residue might also be in the same category.).
בס״ד
The Chazon Ish (122:8) cites the Gra in stating that crumbs caught between the floorboards do not have to be removed. Even if there are many crumbs that add up collectively to a k’zayis, they are not a problem halachically, because they are dried out and unappetizing. “The requirement for chometz to actually be unfit for canine consumption (inedible to a dog) only applies to a k’zayis.” (Magen Avraham; Mishnah Berurah).
Rabbi Smith continues: What about chometz that is bigger than a crumb yet smaller than a k’zayis? An example might be a pretzel, or half a cookie. “While small crumbs are insignificant and are automatically nullified, these bits of food (which are identifiable things) are in a category of their own.” These pieces of chometz (larger than a crumb yet smaller than a k’zayis) should be removed.
(Shulchan Aruch Harav; Mishnah Berurah)
Extra effort in cleaning away chometz is part of a heilige minhag. In practice, we give the greatest energy to areas that our Pesach food and our hands will touch/contact on Pesach2. (This helps prevent the
Carpets: Vacuuming a carpet cleans it sufficiently, since any remaining crumbs are not fit for eating.
possibility of eating any chometz on Pesach. And while this is true, give careful note to the following paragraph.)
Toaster: Since a toaster will not be used on Pesach, it is sufficient to remove loose crumbs by shaking the toaster well and putting it away with the chometz utensils. The chometz pots do not have to be scrubbed. Some have the custom to check the pots for chometz.
This minhag must be practiced according to each person’s strength and energy. And only up to where it does not take away from health, safety, and joy in the Heilige Yom Tov.
Rabbi Yaakov Zev Smith, a maggid shiur for Irgun Shiurei Torah, explains: “The Gemara says that after bedikas chometz one still needs to annul the chometz. This requirement is not because of crumbs which may be scattered in the house; rather, it is a protection against a big piece of chometz. The reason we do not worry about crumbs is that since they are on the floor they have no importance to us and are “self-annulled” (Pesachim 6b).” He explains further that the Chayei Adam (119:6) is of the opinion that one must clean crevices of crumbs within hand’s reach. This is not because of the prohibition to see or have chometz in one’s possession – but because we are concerned that one might inadvertently eat them”.1 The Pri Chadash (444-4) and the Igros Moshe (1145) disagree with this stringency. However, the commonly held custom is to follow the Chayei Adam’s ruling and clean out all easily accessible places where crumbs might be found.
Anything written above should not be used by husbands and children as an excuse for not helping make the house clean and shining, as well as kosher for Pesach. It is indeed part of the signature of Pesach to have a home that is extraspecial clean. The wholehearted participation— without criticism—of husband and children, makes a big difference and brings much joy to the Yom Tov. May we all be zocheh to clean and prepare for the Yom Tov of Pesach without excessive strain or fear, but with anticipation and happiness. And, may our cleaning and preparation find chein Above and help bring the Geulah Shleimah closer. A truly kosher and freilichen Pesach to all. The information above was reviewed and approved by Rabbi Elozor Barclay and Rabbi Yitzchok Jaeger, the authors of Guidelines – Over Five Hundred of the Most Commonly Asked Questions About Pesach (Targum Press) and by Rabbi Zev Smith of Irgun Shiurei Torah.
L'aliyas nishmas Zeesl bas R’ Tzvi, a”h 1 2
(cf. Radvaz 1:135; Machaneh Yisrael 10:)
... עיקר תקנת בדקת חמץ אחר שביטלו אינה אלא משום גזירה שמא יבוא לאכלו בפסח...
“The main reason for the establishment of bedikas chometz after one nullifies the chometz is only to prevent the possibility of eating chometz on Pesach”
Shulchan Aruch Harav (433:19)
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The Shmuz on the Parsha
Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier
VaYikrah- with a small aleph Parshas VaYikrah “And HASHEM called to Moshe, and HASHEM spoke to him from the Ohel Moed, saying. . .” — VaYikrah 1:1 Sefer VaYikrah opens with the expression: “ ויקרא אל משהAnd HASHEM called to Moshe.” The word ויקראis written with a small aleph. The Baal HaTurim explains that this was because of Moshe Rabbeinu’s extreme humility. HASHEM told him to write the word ויקראwith an aleph. That implies that HASHEM called Moshe to come forward for an audience. Moshe felt that was too much honor. He wanted it to appear as if it were more of a random occurrence. When HASHEM spoke to Bilaam, the Torah used the expression " " ויקרto mean that is wasn’t a formal audience, just a chance happening. So Moshe requested to write the word here without the aleph. HASHEM told him not to do that, but to write the word out fully. Out of his extreme humility, Moshe said he would only write it with a small aleph to somehow keep the connotation that it wasn’t a formal invitation. When we focus on this discussion, we see a beautiful illustration of humility — with a bit of a twist. HASHEM called out to Moshe and spoke to him in a manner different than to any other person. HASHEM specifically told Moshe to write that in the Torah. After all, it was true, and it was important for the Klal Yisroel to recognize the greatness of their leader. Moshe felt that while everyone
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might already have known it, to have it recorded that way for generations was just too much kavod, so he asked to have it stricken from the record. HASHEM told him no; it must remain. So out of deference to HASHEM, Moshe wrote it, but not in its full form, only with a small aleph. Moshe ran from the kavod, a very impressive show of humility. Yet if we think about this discussion, it doesn’t sound humble at all. HASHEM was giving Moshe directions for writing the Torah, the very blueprint for Creation. HASHEM instructed Moshe to write the word “Vayikrah” with a large aleph. Moshe said no. HASHEM insisted. Moshe still said no. Finally Moshe compromised, “All right, I will write it, but my way — small.” This doesn’t sound very obedient, and certainly not humble! It sounds audacious. An unassuming man would listen to the Creator of the heavens and the earth and do as he was told. The greatness of man and the value of humility The answer to this can be found by understanding the balance between the greatness of man and humility. To do this, let’s begin with a moshol. Imagine that you are passing a commercial construction site where you see a large crane digging out a foundation. The crane lifts up loads of dirt, rocks, rubble — moving tons of earth with each scoop. Operating the crane is Joe. Joe is very overweight and is a chain smoker. Another worker approaches Joe and To advertise, call 718-513-9885
says, “Joe, look at you! 80 lbs. overweight, smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. You’ve gotta do something about your health. Go the gym, work out, and get in shape.” Joe turns back to his coworker and says, “Me, work out? What do you think I do all day long? I lift heavy loads, tons and tons of dirt and move it from one side of the site to the other.” “Joe, that isn’t you lifting the dirt. It’s the crane,” exclaims the coworker. “You’re just the guy pulling the levers. The crane is doing all the lifting!” This is an apt parable to man. I occupy a body. This body has a mind that is brilliant and a mouth that is articulate. It was created in the image of HASHEM. Look at what it can accomplish; look what it can do. It is deserving of extraordinary honor. And I . . . am the occupant of this body. I am the little guy inside who pulls the levers. I didn’t create the body. I don’t know how to stretch the skin over the facial bones. I don’t know how to weave the one hundred billion neurons that comprise my brain. I am the little guy inside who tells the arms to move, who tells the mouth to open. So am I deserving of honor? The body that I occupy sure is; just look at what it can do. But I am that little guy inside — small, insignificant, unimportant. Both realities are correct. Both can coexist as long as I understand that I didn’t create me; HASHEM did. HASHEM may have put me into a position of power and
greatness, but it has nothing to do with me. While I temporarily hold that position, I must act with due deference to my station in life. However, I am neither the creator of it, nor will I occupy it forever. This is the balance between the extraordinary greatness of man and a healthy dose of humility.
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The most humble of all men The only human who reached a true understanding of this dichotomy was Moshe Rabbeinu. The Torah tells us that “the man Moshe was very humble, more so than any other person on the face of the earth” (Bamidbar 12:3). Yet Moshe knew his worth. He was completely cognizant of his position and his power. HASHEM said to write the word “VaYikrah” with an aleph, but Moshe didn’t want to. HASHEM told him to do it anyway, and still Moshe felt that it wasn’t proper, so he stood up to HASHEM himself, and said, “You put me in this position, and You authorized me to be a factor in defining the transmission of Torah. I am exercising that right You have given me. I am going to write it — but it will be small.” This is a fabulous illustration of towering humility balanced with a courage and fortitude that comes from knowing one’s position. Finding the balance This perception is very applicable in our times. Most people struggle with either a poor self image or an inflated sense of self. Either that inner voice says, “I am worthless. What can I accomplish anyway? How much can be expected of me?” or it speaks out, “Do you know who I am? Do you know how great I am? Do you know how weighty, mighty and significant I am?” Both of these extremes are false. The correct understanding is that HASHEM created me and put me into a position where I can shape worlds. Born into this thing called a human body, I have extraordinary potential and capacities. It was worthy of creating all of the cosmos for me alone. And at the same time, I am but that little guy inside. I am the crane operator. Understanding this balance allows us to recognize our significance and at the same time remain grounded. I was created in the image of HASHEM, but at the end of the day I am but a creation — and HASHEM is my Creator.
Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz.com – The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues. All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at www.theShmuz. com or on the Shmuz App for iphone or Android. Simply text the word “TheShmuz” to the number 313131 and a link will be sent to your phone to download the App.
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Our Scary Uber Driver by Emuna Braverman
We felt in danger but oddly did nothing about it.
S
ince Uber drivers are simply human beings after all, each trip is as varied as the human race. Unfortunately our last driver did not exemplify the qualities I previously wrote about it (!) but it wasn’t him I learned about this time, it was myself. There were some signs when he pulled up. His trunk was full of “junk” and we had a very hard time fitting our suitcases in. The backseat was similar and we were challenged to fit ourselves in!! There was no friendly good morning, chitchat or offers of water. The a/c was broken and opening the windows subjected us to the noise of the freeway. But none of that was what really mattered. The real problem was that our Uber driver was actually not a very good driver! In the first place, he drove in a very jerky stop-and-start fashion, an inauspicious beginning for someone like me whose motion sickness is likely to rear its head at the most inconvenient of times. But that
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wasn’t the issue either. He actually didn’t seem to know where we were going. In today’s world of Google maps and waze, this should not be a serious issue. He did have a smart phone and he did have some type of navigational app. But it wasn’t positioned on the dashboard and he didn’t seem able to rely on the oral instructions alone. So he kept looking down to check the directions. And when I say “he kept looking down,” I mean over and over and over again. I was not alone in my concern over this situation. My husband was nervous as well and immediately pulled out the Traveler’s Prayer to recite! It was an hourlong journey and I kept suggesting to my husband (in a low voice of course) that we pick a place in Trenton or Morristown or some other small city along the way and ask him to just let us off there. We consulted our own iPhones, we debated, we clutched the doors nervously, we prayed – and we just sat there. Until
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we finally arrived at Newark airport (it’s never looked so good!) and we said another prayer of thanks and breathed a real sigh of relief. Sometimes I exaggerate for the sake of this column and to make the story sound more interesting (sorry everyone!) but not this time. It was really a harrowing ride and we were really nervous. But the problem was that we didn’t actually do anything about it. I’m not diminishing the power of prayer but this was also a time for action. We didn’t ask him to pull over or to let us off early. We felt awkward, uncomfortable so we allowed ourselves to remain in the car for this whole, actually dangerous, experience rather than assert ourselves. This was a troubling recognition. We were so passive, so unwilling to assert our rights. We didn’t even say “Would you mind not looking at your phone so frequently or could you please keep both hands on the wheel?” although my husband did access
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Google maps on his phone and turned the volume up high! We truly thought we were at risk of our lives and yet we remained silent. I’m still trying to process this reaction. We all learned of the Milgram experiments where subjects shocked other participants seemingly to the point of death because they were unwilling to challenge the authority of the man in the white lab coat. We were unwilling to even challenge our Uber driver who had no actual authority over us and simply the power of being the one in the driver’s seat. And yet despite the fact that he was the one actually driving, we could have wrested control away from him. We could have taken charge. We could have insisted he drop us off earlier. Could have, would have, should have… I’m concerned about what this says
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was not alone in my concern over this situation. My husband was nervous as well and immediately pulled out the Traveler’s Prayer to recite!
about us (too nice?) and trying to plan for the future. On Passover we try to rid ourselves of all types of enslavement –
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the psychological ones being the most difficult. Allowing myself to make bad, nay dangerous, choices rather than stand up for my needs, rather than create an uncomfortable situation suggests a type of slavery, one that I need to work on escaping. I have many things to work on this Passover and now I’ve just added a new one to the list. No matter the situation, I need to remember that I can still be the one “in the driver’s seat.” As I always tell my students, “We can’t control the situations we are in but we can control our responses,” and in this case not just the emotional one but the behavioral one as well. It’s time to practice what I preach. I think I’m going to stay home and avoid travel for the next little while, other than leaving Egypt….
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PPS: All Registrants will get a chance to schedule a FREE private examination and shoulder screen with Dr. Ofir Isaac after the rotator cuff workshop first-come, firstserve. Call to register 917-615-1999 for Wed., March 14, 2018 at 6:30–7:30 PM. We have limited spots available & space will fill up fast, so register now to avoid missing out.
So Who is the Workshop For? The Rotator Cuff Workshop is for people suffering with shoulder pain who are looking to feel normal again and heal naturally without medications, injections and surgery. Save Your Spot! Call 917-6151999 for the Rotator Cuff Workshop simply by leaving your name and phone number for Wed., March 14, 2018, 6:30–7:30 PM.
WARNING! FREE REGISTRATION ENDS Friday, March 16th at midnight for the Wednesday, January 14th Workshop THEN there is cost of $27 to register, don’t wait to register this workshop is highly informative and can save you thousands of dollars and wasted trips to surgical specialists. PS: FAST ACTION BONUS: The First 10 Registrants can email info@allcarept.com Or call 917-615-1999 to drop off their shoulder/neck MRI and/or XRAY reports to Dr. Ofir Isaac personally before the workshop. Discuss the results FREE of charge!
Dr. Ofir Isaac PT, MS, DPT
Chronic Pain Diagnostic Specialist Owner & Clinical Director Hi my name is Dr. Ofir Isaac a Shoulder Specialist and Pain and Injury Consultant, and I will personally be presenting this workshop for you. www.AllCarePT.com. Where? Allcare Pain Elimination For Life, at 1213 Ave P right here In Midwood, Brooklyn. It’s my passion to empower patients like you to eliminate their chronic pain through our unique “Active” Neuroscience Based Approach To Pain.
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My Carpet Tells a Story by Chana Gittle Deray
Getting my living room carpet cleaned uncovered a startling truth.
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long with preparing for Passover, we were giving the house that extra shine as we got ready to welcome our guests. You know how it goes ... all of a sudden you see all the dust, dirt and repairs that are needed. After pricing floor refinishing for under the living room carpet, and learning we would need to move out for four days (who would want us?!) we called the carpet cleaners.
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The two men showed up and got to work. “How old is this carpet? Are you sure it is only five years old? Boy, it’s seen a lot of traffic, huh? What? Nine kids?” as they give you that look. “I’ve got two and that’s plenty! Really, nine kids? Hey, this lady here’s got nine kids!” Both of them are looking at me now. The look. It’s the same look the exterminator gave me years ago as he commented about all the then-young children busily crafting, eating, cutting To advertise, call 718-513-9885
and dancing all over the kitchen. “Whew!” he said to me. “What time do they all go home?” He looked bewildered upon learning that they were home and all belonged to me. The carpet cleaners made numerous trips out to the truck for more chemicals, going over the darkened areas again and again, muttering as they worked: “Can’t imagine having nine of them. So I guess you all sit around over here a lot. And that path. They must have a lot of friends. They must play over here on the floor a lot. What happened over there? Sticky. Oh, a menorah tipped. Thought you guys kept them in the window....” Scrubbing and spraying and rubbing and brushing, and shaking their heads in disbelief. Soon the two of them looked about as worn out as the carpet. “Well ma’am, that’s the best we can do. This carpet has sure seen a lot of wear and tear. You may want to consider refinishing the wood floor underneath. That would last you foreva!” So much for “foreva,” as they followed my glance to the worn out finish on my dining room floor. The carpet cleaners left in both a chemical and cultural daze. I had to laugh – after all their work, the room really didn’t look much different except that all of my furniture was now in the dining room with very clear markings of where it all would need to be put back. What had changed was the way I was looking at it all. They had uncovered some real truth. There it was, carved right into the carpet... proof of all our blessings – our family. There were the fun times, the holidays celebrated, the guests hosted, the little toy cars and trucks driven around, the many dances danced. It was a very fulfilled carpet, thank Hashem! If we ever do refinish the floor underneath, we will need to bury the pieces of our carpet in that special place where they bury holy items that are no longer used. Hey... does anyone want house guests for four days? Excerpted from Kugel, Chaos & Unconditional Love
How to Handle Toxic People by Rabbi Tzvi Nightingale
Three pieces of advice from ancient Jewish wisdom.
L
ike it or not, life is full of disagreements and disagreeable people. The Mishna in Ethics of the Fathers sheds light on how to deal with people who can or have wronged us:
Nittai of Arbel says: Keep far from a bad neighbor, do not become connected to an evil person and don’t ever give up on the notion of reward and punishment (Ethics of the Fathers, 1:7). This Mishna is offering advice on three different levels of dealing with unsavory people. The first and optimum choice is to avoid them altogether – “Keep far from a bad neighbor.” Some people we cross paths with are simply bad news, negative and toxic. The best advice is to try to completely avoid them. As I often tell my kids, “Nothing good can come from this.” If you see a guy driving erratically on the highway, don’t try and teach him a lesson, don’t flash your lights or try to box him out. Let him go on his way and keep your distance so you don’t get hurt by the collateral damage of his recklessness. Don’t engage such people because “nothing good can come from this.”
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Every morning we say an important prayer: May it be Your will, My Hashem and the Hashem of my forefathers that You spare me today and every day from brazen and shameless people, from a bad person, a bad associate and a bad neighbor... from a difficult trial and a harsh litigant... When it comes to being sued, very little good can come from it. Often when it comes to trials, court cases and the like, the best we are trying to do is get back to zero and limit the negative fallout. Nothing gets into the positive side of the scale in these situations and this is what this prayer and the first part of the Mishna are getting at: first and foremost we should do whatever we can do keep these people from entering our lives, including praying for it. Unfortunately we can’t always avoid negative and toxic people. They may be family members, co-workers or your next door neighbor. That’s when the second statement of the Mishna comes into play. “Do not get connected to an evil person” is telling us that for those harmful people we cannot escape from, we need to keep our relationship with them to a bare minimum. Be cordial, be businesslike, don’t look to pick a fight, and don’t do anything social with them unless forced to because of circumstances, and as the
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Mishna says, do not befriend or connect with them. You might have to share space with these people, but keep your distance emotionally and mentally. And finally we have the third statement of the Mishna that, at first
Unfortunately we can’t always avoid negative and toxic people. They may be family members, coworkers or your next door neighbor.
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blush, does not seem to fit in: “Don’t ever give up on the notion of reward and punishment.” The Mishna is addressing the situations when we can’t separate from bad people and, try as we might, they are in our lives and have had their negative impact on us. We are the victims of someone else’s bad behavior, bad decisions, evil designs and the like. We have suffered financially, emotionally, materially or physically from the rotten choices of rotten people. No matter how much we would have preferred to avoid them altogether (Mishna statement 1) or kept it to a minimum (Mishna statement 2) sometimes it’s a sad fact of life that other people’s garbage stinks up our lives. What goes around comes around; measure for measure is built into the fabric of Creation and the righteous will eventually prosper while evil
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So what are we to do? Hold a grudge forever? Jewish tradition tells us that there is a Hashem, there is Ultimate Reward and Punishment and that we should never lose sight of that fact.
withers. away. We can see that on a national level where our enemies have disappeared to the trash heap of history while the Jewish People continues to grow strong and successful. The same is true on an individual level; eventually the good guys come out on top and the toxic negative people will self-destruct. If we have suffered injustice, it will be addressed. Maybe not this year, maybe not next year maybe not in 10 years - but it will, if not in this lifetime, then certainly in the next. And if it’s any consolation, how often have we seen situations where someone did something terrible to us, we ended up hating them at the time but then years later, in retrospect, we saw the good come out from this. Life is not perfect and unsavory people insinuate themselves into our lives. Stay away if you can, keep them to a minimum if you cannot and when all is said and done don’t forget that there is a just Hashem who never forgets the evil done to you by another. Take a measure of comfort in that.
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The Most Important Thing a Man Should Do for his Wife by Emuna Braverman
Giving in is a sign of strength, not weakness. or the past two weeks I’ve been addressing wives about the singular importance of putting our husbands first. Since it takes two to tango, I would like to address the husbands. What is the one tool that men could implement that would make a significant difference in their marriages? To answer this question, I turned to my husband. He actually suggested a long list of behavior and attitudes but when asked to boil it down to one, he said, “Always give in and always let it go.” Given my experience with him, I might amend it to “almost always” but that’s another conversation! But I can testify, he is very good at forgiving and letting go. Men sometimes feel that to give in is to be unprincipled, that to give in is a slippery slope that will lead to no control, that to give in will silence your voice in the conversation. It’s a sign of weakness. In truth, the ability to give in is a sign of strength, not weakness. Marriage is not about proving who is right; marriage is not about getting your way or asserting your importance. Marriage is about working together and, in this case, making your wife feel validated. There are very few, if any, situations that are resolved by someone asserting that this is the way things are going to
F
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be done. The “my way or the highway” approach does not lead to successful relationships (did that really need to be said?). There may be sincere philosophical differences that require the intervention of a mutually agreed upon third party, but those situations are rare. Most disputes are over issues of relatively trivial value and giving in is the more generous approach. Does it really matter what color the walls are or which couch you choose? Can you trust your wife’s opinion about your children’s education? (If not, you may have a deeper problem that is beyond the scope of this piece.) Discussions are great; arrogance and assertions of power are not. But what if you are a man who is all sunshine and light and yet your wife doesn’t always respond in kind? She’s a ….human being! She has her good days and her bad days and sometimes, despite all your best efforts, the conversation becomes contentious. The two of you get into a fight. How do you move on? At this point, the best, the wisest, the most successful course is to let it go. The Torah admonishes us not to bear a grudge. If this is true for all of our relationships, how much more so for our marriages! Just let it go. The more you hold on, the more resentment will build. The more resentment, the worse your marriage will be, until all you have left are the bad feelings with no memory of what caused them to begin with. Most issues are just To advertise, call 718-513-9885
not worth it. Maybe you lost your temper – apologize. Maybe she lost her temper. Yes, she should also apologize – but move on. Move past it. Whatever “it” was, it’s not worth holding on to. Not at the cost of your relationship. Usually after a particularly heated discussion, my husband will say to me, “Are we friends again?” He is always willing to take the initiative. I confess to be less willing. Sometimes I’m grumpy and I mumble, “Not yet”. This is not the full credit response! But the point is, that even if you let go, your wife may still not respond in kind. It’s not magic. You’re not doing it to be noble or get your way or to get brownie points. You’re doing it because ultimately it’s good for your relationship and because that’s the kind of person you want to be. So even if it takes her a little longer to come around, you’ve still taken the high road. You’ve still shown her that she and your marriage take priority over your ego, over proving who’s right, over your insecurities. It is not easy. If it were easy everyone would be doing it. But just making the effort will make a big difference. If this is new behavior, it might take a while for your wife to get used to it. She may be waiting for the other shoe to fall; it may take a few minutes, hours, days for your wife to recognize your silence and generosity. Don’t give up. You will be happy with the new man you have become – and chances are she will also.
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Even if you’re not sure where you want to work, apply now, so that you don’t miss this opportunity. If you are selected, you will not be obligated to accept the SYEP offer.
• NYC residents, between the ages of 14 - 24 on July 1, may apply for the summer job lottery online by going to application.nycSYEP.com
Submission of an application does not
• Select “BEGIN ONLINE APPLICATION”. Then enter your “email address” and create a “password”
appointment. They must personally
• For an opportunity for a job at one of our sites choose “Brooklyn” (regardless of where you live) and then choose “COJO” or “National Society for Hebrew Day Schools” as your provider. • Complete the application, click “Submit”. Print a copy of your application and receipt, and keep the copies.
guarantee acceptance into the program. Youth selected for SYEP will get an come to register and submit copies of “Required Documentation”. Youth not able to apply online may pick up paper applications, at our office at 1546 Coney Island Avenue (2nd Floor) Monday through Thursday, between 3:00 and 5:30pm until March 15.
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Pesach is coming to Gluten Freedom! Hand & Machine Matzah Kestenbaum, Puppa Tzeilim, Charlap, Lakewood and more... By Pre-order only!
Fully Stocked as always! • Quick and Easy Pre-Pesach Suppers Available! • Call for Extended Yom Tov Hours!
A Deal of a Meal all in a Bowl By Gitta Bixenspanner With Pesach in the air we are approaching the busiest season of the year. With so many tasks to accomplish we need to maximize our time so we can attend the other myriad chores that are ahead of us. Meals in a bowl are the latest trend. The real deal. Besides being very filling and delicious, one can serve breakfast lunch or supper in all in a bowl. On a recent visit to NY, every eatery I visited had salad bowls filled with greens and a variety of toppings to choose from, because there are no end choices to fill the bowl with. Here are some recipes that can be left in your fridge ready for whenever you need them.
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Nourishing Quinoa bowl Quinoa being a full protein is a well worthwhile grain to explore. It blends itself well to cold or hot salads, and mixes well with many items. When well prepared it is tasty and nutritious. Ingredients 1 cup sweet potato, cut into 1” pieces 1/2 cup beets, cut into 1” pieces 1 cup broccoli florets 2 cups kale 2/3 cup cooked chickpeas 1/4 of an avocado, sliced 1/2 cup cooked quinoa 2 Tbs hummus 1 tsp paprika Salt & pepper to taste Creamy dressing Instructions Add sweet potatoes and beets to a steamer basket and steam until almost fully cooked, about 15 minutes. Add broccoli and kale and steam until everything is cooked, another 2 – 3 minutes. While vegetables are cooking, toss chickpeas with paprika, salt and pepper. Set aside. Transfer vegetables to a plate or large bowl and arrange as desired. Add quinoa, chickpeas, avocado and hummus to the plate. Drizzle with creamy dressing, toss together and enjoy!
Creamy Dressing: ¾ cup oil ½ cup mayonnaise ¾ tsp salt 2 cloves of garlic, crushed 1 Tbs sugar 2 tsp soy sauce
(This dressing is great on any
salad)
½ tsp lemon juice 2 tsp mustard 1 pinch black pepper ur Mix all ingredients and po g. over salad just before servin Preparation 20 minutes Serves 2
Mediterranean Bean Bowl This recipe makes a lot, but the leftovers keep well. You can easily cut the recipe in half. INGREDIENTS 1 pound dry black beans 2 Tbs olive oil 1 Tbs ground cumin 4 bay leaves 2 tsp Kosher salt 3 cloves garlic, minced 3 cups, uncooked rice, white or brown 1/2 tsp salt 4 1/2 to 6 cups of water, depending on the type of rice Sliced red cabbage Ripe avocado, peeled and cut into chunks Fresh tomato salsa Chopped fresh cilantro or your favorite greens (optional) DIRECTIONS Preparing dry beans Place black beans in a large bowl or pot. Cover with 2 inches of water, let soak overnight, then drain. If you are tight on time you can skip overnight soaking, place black beans in bowl, and cover with 2-inches of boiling water. Let soak for one hour. Then drain ad rinse. Place soaked and drained beans in a large pot. Cover with 2 inches of water. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer. While the beans are coming to a boil, heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a small pan on medium heat. Stir in the ground cumin and cook until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the minced
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garlic, cook a minute more. Once the beans are boiling, add the cumin and garlic to the pot with the beans. Add bay leaves and salt to the pot as well. Cook the beans, uncovered, until tender, but not mushy, between 30 minutes to 2 hours. When the beans are done, place a strainer over a separate pot. Pour the beans into the strainer, to collect the cooking water into the pot. Set aside the beans, and boil down the cooking liquid until thickened and slightly syrupy. Return the cooking liquid to the beans and stir. Stir in the cilantro and remove from heat. Preparing the other ingredients Cook 3 cups of rice in a large saucepan according to package instructions. Add 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Bring to a boil, lower the heat to low to maintain a very low simmer. Cover and cook from 15 minutes to 45 minutes, Remove from heat and let rest for 10 minutes, covered, before fluffing with a fork to serve. To serve, place a scoop of cooked rice at the bottom of a serving bowl. Top with black beans. Top with assorted garnishes— thinly sliced cabbage, chopped avocados, chopped cilantro, and anything else that you want to add to it. Preparation 30 minutes Serves 4
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Teriyaki Chicken Rice Bowls Chicken and rice pair well for a full meal all in one bowl with your favorite ingredients and a very tasty sauce. 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 4 pieces) Kosher salt 1 Tbs lemon juice ½ cup soy sauce or salt ½ cup sugar 2 Tbs cornstarch 2 Tbs water 4 tsp rice vinegar 1 tsp favorite spice 2 cups cooked sushi rice or brown rice 1 carrot, thinly shaved 4-6 green onions, thinly shaved 1 cup frozen shelled edamame, thawed Sesame seeds for garnish Instructions Rinse the chicken in water and pat dry with paper towels. Season the chicken lightly with kosher salt and set aside.
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Add the soy sauce, sugar and lemon juice to a small sauce pan. Mix the cornstarch in the water and add to the sauce pan. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce to simmer. Add the rice vinegar and salt and sugar and cook for 5-10 minutes or until the sauce thickens, stirring occasionally. Spray a grill pan with cooking spray and bring to medium high heat. Add the chicken thighs but don’t crowd the pan. Cook the chicken for 5-7 minutes on each side. Baste each side of the chicken with the sauce and cook for an additional 2 minutes each side. Remove from the pan, lightly tent with foil and rest for 3-5 minutes. Repeat with the other chicken thighs if needed. To prepare the bowls, spoon rice into the bottom of the bowl then layer with shredded carrot, shredded green onion and edamame. Slice or chop the chicken thighs and place on top then drizzle with more sauce. Garnish with sesame seeds. Preparation 20 minutes Serves 4
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CRUNCHY QUINOA POWER BOWL WITH ALMOND GINGER DRESSING A light and satisfying quinoa bowl made with crunchy red and green cabbage that’s tossed in an almond butter dressing made with ginger, garlic and lime.
Juice of 3 limes (approx. 1/3 cup)
Ingredients 1 cup uncooked quinoa (approx. 3 cups cooked) 1/2 head green cabbage, shredded (approx. 3 cups) 1/2 head red cabbage, shredded (approx. 3 cups) 1/2 cup diced green onions 1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped 3/4 cup chopped almonds 2 medium-size sweet potatoes, diced 1 Tbs oil Fine sea salt to taste Almond Butter Dressing 1/3 cup almond butter 1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil 3 cloves garlic (approx. 1 tablespoon) 3 inches peeled fresh ginger (approx. 1-2 tablespoons)
Instructions Cook quinoa in a large pot covering with 3 times the amount of water. Season with salt and pepper garlic powder to taste. Quinoa is cooked when little circles appear on the top of the cooked quinoa. Preheat the oven to 450°F and then line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Toss the sweet potato pieces in one tablespoon of oil until they are very lightly coated and then spread them onto the baking dish so that they aren’t touching. Sprinkle them with salt and then place the baking sheet on the top rack and cook for 20 minutes, until crispy. While the potatoes are cooking, prepare the dressing by adding the ingredients to a food processor and blending until smooth. Add water as needed to thin until desired consistency is reached. Next, rinse the cooked quinoa and transfer to a large bowl. Then add the cabbage to the bowl along with the dressing and toss together until coated. Once the sweet potato is done, set aside to cool for at least 15 minutes. Then add it to the bowl along with the cilantro, chopped almonds, and green onion and gently toss together. Distribute into bowls to serve immediately or place in an airtight container and refrigerate for up to 3 days.
Filtered water to thin as needed
Preparation 30 minutes Serves 6
Chopped Chicken Sesame Noodle Bowls What could be easier to serve than a bowl loaded with veggies, chicken, cilantro or favorite greens, and a homemade sesame-almond sauce. Delicious INGREDIENTS Sesame Sauce 3 Tbs sesame oil 2 Tbs rice vinegar 2 cloves garlic 1 Tbs fresh ginger grated 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 cup almond butter 3-4 Tbs water 2-3 Tbs sesame seeds 1/2 Tsp red pepper flakes Other ingredients 1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts 4 ounces soba noodles or favorite noodles 1 cucumber (can swap for other veggies, too) 3 large carrots 1 handful cilantro (optional)Salt and pepper to taste INSTRUCTIONS Sauce: In a food processor, combine all the ingredients for the sesame sauce except the sesame seeds and red pepper flakes. Pulse until mostly smooth; stir in sesame seeds and red pepper flakes. Noodles: Cook soba noodles according to package directions. Drain and set aside. Chicken: Heat a large skillet with a little oil over medium heat. Cut the chicken breasts in half if they are large. Add the chicken; sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. Saute until barely golden brown on the outside. Add about a third of the sesame sauce to the chicken with a little water to thin it out. It might splatter, so turn down the heat at this point and have a lid ready. Let the chicken finish cooking in the sauce for a few minutes. Remove the chicken from heat, let cool slightly, and shred. Veggies: Chop the veggies super-finely or put them in the food processor and get them all minced up. Drain out any excess moisture. Toss everything together and serve hot or cold. Prep Time: 10 mins Serves: 4-6
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BREAKFAST BOWLS 5 WAYS For a leisurely breakfast prepare yourself one of these exciting breakfast bowls the night before refrigerate covered and enjoy in the morning. INGREDIENTS For the Base 1 cup yogurt 1/3 cup granola or muesli 1/3 cup assorted toppings (See below)
Toppings for the Berry Bowl Raspberries or strawberries Blueberries
Toppings for the Classic Bowl Banana Strawberries Chia seeds
Toppings for the Summer Bowl Peaches Cherries Blackberries
Toppings for the Tropical Bowl Kiwi Mango Shredded coconut
Torched mini marshmallows Strawberries Shaved dark chocolate or Chocolate syrup INSTRUCTIONS In a medium bowl, layer the yogurt on the bottom. Top with granola or muesli. Finish with assorted fruit toppings. Enjoy Preparation 10 minutes Serves 1 per bowl
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REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM AISH.COM
Toppings for the Dessert Bowl
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