Flatbush Buzz September 5 2016

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Volume 3, Issue 73 Sep 4th 2016

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FLAxsEED The Little Known Wonder Seed G i t ta B i x e n s pa n n e r, n D

H

ave you ever heard of flaxseed? Flaxseed has lately been showing up in the shelves of supermarkets and has gained wide popularity.

Although it is not a very new seed, it is unfamiliar to most.

Some call it one of the most powerful plant foods on the planet. There’s some evidence that it can help reduce your risk of heart disease, cancer, stroke, and diabetes. That’s quite a tall order for a tiny seed that’s been around for centuries.

Flax is a natural food that has been consumed for thousands of years by many civilizations with noticeable health benefits

Inflammation Two components of flaxseed, ALA and lignans, may reduce the inflammation that accompanies certain illnesses (such as Parkinson’s disease and asthma) by helping to block the release of certain proinflammatory agents.

and no artificial drug side effects. I am appalled at the prospect of people taking their flaxseed in pills rather than in its natural form.

Flaxseed is found in all kinds of foods, from crackers to frozen waffles to oatmeal. In the first 11 months of 2006, 75 new products were launched that listed flax or flaxseed as an ingredient. Not only has consumer demand for flaxseed gone up, but agricultural use has also increased—these days, even chickens are being fed flaxseed, which leads to a higher content of the rich omega-3 fatty acid in their eggs.

Although flaxseed contains all sorts of healthy components, it owes its healthy reputation primarily to three ingredients: • Omega-3

essential fatty acids: “Good” fats that have been shown to have hearthealthy effects. Each tablespoon of ground flaxseed contains about 1.8 grams of plant omega-3s. Flaxseed is recognized as the richest source of essential fatty acids (EFAs) such as alpha-linolenic acid (ALA).

• Lignans: Flax contains high levels of lignans,

which are natural compounds that help prevent many types of cancer, including breast, colon and prostate cancer. These compounds have both plant estrogen and antioxidant qualities that help fight disease.

Flaxseed contains 75–800 times more lignans than other plant foods. Doctors feel that daily intake of flaxseed with its inherent lignans may modestly improve blood sugar in diabetics • Fiber: Flaxseed contains both the soluble

and insoluble types of fiber, which help keep our heart healthy, reduce constipation, and prevent many other ailments, especially diseases related to the colon. It also helps lower cholesterol.

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How much flaxseed do we need?

One should consider taking one to two tablespoons of ground flaxseed a day. This is currently the suggested dose, according to the Flax Council of Canada. some tips for using, buying, and storing flaxseed: • Buy it ground or grind it yourself. When eaten whole, flaxseed is more likely to pass through the intestinal tract undigested, which means your body doesn’t get all the healthful components. If you want to grind flaxseed yourself, a small electric coffee grinder works best.

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• Milled = ground = flaxmeal. Don’t be confused by the different product names for ground flaxseed. Milled or ground flaxseed is the same thing as flaxmeal.

• Buy either brown or golden flaxseed. Golden flaxseed is easier on the eyes, but brown flaxseed is easier to find in most supermarkets. There is very little nutritional difference between the two, so the choice is up to you.

• Find it in stores or health food stores. Many supermarket chains now carry ground flaxseed (or flaxmeal). It’s usually in the flour or grain aisle or the whole-grain cereal section, often sold in one-pound bags. You can also find it in health food stores where the sprouted variety is available at a much higher price, but there are many more benefits to sprouted seeds.

• Check the product label. When buying products containing flaxseed, check the label to make sure ground flaxseed, not whole flaxseed, was added. Flaxseed is a featured ingredient in cereals, pasta, whole-grain breads and crackers, energy bars, meatless meal products and snack foods.

• Add flaxseed to any food you habitually eat. Every time you have a certain food, such as oatmeal, breakfast cereals, smoothies, soup or yogurt, stir in a couple of tablespoons of ground flaxseed. You will enhance your dish manifold. Soon it will be a habit and you won’t have to think about it, you’ll just do it. (I keep my bag of flaxseed handy and throw some into almost every dish, for added flavor)

a four-serving casserole, you can usually get away with adding two to four tablespoons of ground flaxseed. For a dish serving six to eight, use four to eight tablespoons.

• Use it in baking. Substitute ground flaxseed meal for part of the flour in recipes for quick breads, muffins, rolls, bread, bagels, pancakes and waffles. Try replacing one-quarter to one-half cup of the flour with ground flaxseed if the recipe calls for two or more cups of flour.

• Keep it in the freezer. The best place to store ground flaxseed is the freezer. Freeze pre-ground flaxseed in the bag you bought it in, or in a plastic sealable bag if you ground it yourself. The freezer will keep the ground flax from oxidizing and losing its nutritional potency. The health food store sells it in opaque bags, which helps keep it in the dark and gives it less chance of oxidizing.

• Whole flaxseed keeps longer. The outside shell in whole flaxseed appears to keep the fatty acids inside well protected. It’s a good idea to keep your whole flaxseed in a dark, cool place until you grind it. But as long as it is dry and of good quality, whole flaxseed can be stored at room temperature for up to a year.

Tips for Using Flax Oil Many experts believe it’s better to consume flaxseed than flax oil (which contains just part of the seed) so you get all the components. Oil can be added to salads and other dishes, for it is certainly healthier than the other oils. Never use flaxseed oil for frying or baking.

It is most beneficial in its original form.

• Hide flaxseed in dark, moist dishes. The dishes that hide flaxseed the best have a dark-colored sauces or meat mixtures. No one tends to notice flaxseed when it’s stirred into casseroles, used as a coating for chicken, or added to chili, beef stew, meatloaf or meatballs. For MAGAZINE

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The meet the Israeli professor who’s turned harvard on its head. chava dumas T

I

I first heard Professor Ben-Shahar, a psychologist and highly soughtafter lecturer on the topic of “How to Be Happy,” when he was invited to the Refuah Institute conference held in Jerusalem a few years ago.

Smiling infectiously throughout his presentation, with bright, shining eyes, he turns his lectures into life-changing events. Because the information, tips, and techniques he shares are so highly relevant to people’s lives, they promise to make an impact on his listeners.

Gifted with the ability to communicate timeless Torah teachings to modern audiences in an easygoing way, Ben-Shahar regularly commutes back and forth between Israel and America, where he serves on the faculties of both the Interdisciplinary Center in Herzliya and Harvard University. He is the scholar-in-residence at the David Project, a nonprofit, educational organization in the USA, and is on the advisory board as well as a teacher of Positive Psychology for the JerusalemOnlineU.com, an outreach program started by Rabbi Raphael Shore. Taking the ivory tower world of academia research and making it accessible to everyone, Ben-Shahar is the author of numerous works on happiness, and is consulted by executives in multinational corporations. He has been profiled on NPR (National Public Radio) and featured in the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, The New York Times, and Boston Globe.

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Happiness Professor Who is Tal Ben-Shahar and how did he attain such global acclaim?

A look at Professor Ben-Shahar’s background and philosophy may give us the insights we seek to change our own lives as well.

Missing Something Born in Israel, Tal was nine when his father’s work as an engineer took the family to South Africa for five years. The Ben-Shahars lived in a tiny village 80 kilometers south of Johannesburg, where, he recalls, “there was nothing to do.” Far from friends, with no public transportation, he was bored after school and began playing squash, hitting balls up and down the court alone.

When the family returned to Israel when Tal was fourteen, the BenShahars’ Ramat Gan home was a five-minute walk from Israel’s only commercial squash court. Every morning before school, Tal would run ten miles, and every afternoon he practiced squash for three hours. He began playing in tournaments, and by the time he was sixteen he had won his first Israeli squash championship.

Bright, intellectually curious and highly successful in academics as well, Tal was accepted into Harvard University’s undergraduate program

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once he had finished his Israeli army service. He credits his success at Harvard to his parents and the environment they created in the home. His parents always stressed to him the value of doing well in school. “But my true passion wasn’t academics; everything revolved around squash!”

Starting out at Harvard with a lot going for him, Tal felt something was missing in his life. This baffled him. Outwardly, he seemed to have “everything”—he was at one of the most prestigious universities in the world, excelling socially, academically, and athletically, and yet he didn’t feel happy.

“I had to look closely at my life and ask why? What was wrong?

“It didn’t make sense to me that I wasn’t happy until I realized that I was looking outside myself to search for happiness,” he explains.

“If our outside circumstances are X, Y, and Z, we assume that we should ‘be happy.’ So why wasn’t I? Was it because being ‘smart,’ ‘affluent,’ ‘successful,’ and ‘well-connected’ by society’s definition isn’t a guarantee of happiness?”

Motivated by his own search for meaning and confused about the direction he should go in, he switched

his major several times, from computer science to economics, then from history and math to philosophy, and finally to psychology, eventually graduating with a combined BA in Philosophy and Psychology. In love with what he calls Harvard’s “most important vital resource”—people—his first priority as an undergrad was meeting others socially and forming friendships.

He then went on to earn a PhD in organizational behavior, the science of what motivates human beings.

“Issues of leadership and motivation are things that I’ve been grappling with my whole life,” he says. Reflecting upon his own experiences as a leader (co-captain of his squash team) or as a follower (as an IDF soldier taking orders from higher-ups), figuring out what makes a leader, what makes a follower, and why is one of the passions of BenShahar’s life.

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Positive Psychology During the four years that BenShahar taught a course in “Positive Psychology” at Harvard, it quickly became one of the university’s most popular courses. Students claimed it was the one course they had to take while in the university, because who didn’t want to learn how to create “a flourishing and fulfilling life”? It was the only course at Harvard that 20 percent of the student body registered for each semester.

Ben-Shahar knows what he’s talking about. To illustrate the classic pathos that leads to depression, he describes how, in his senior year at Harvard, he won his dream fellowship. “And the very next day I started worrying about why I hadn’t won a better one!

“It’s all about focus,” Ben-Shahar claims. “How you see things can matter a whole lot more than what actually happens. People are really used to focusing on what’s wrong in their lives.

Just look at most therapy techniques: the emphasis is on getting people talking about what was wrong in their past as well as their present, describing their anxiety and their problems.

Positive psychology says, ‘Hey, how about focusing on what’s good in your life! What else is happening, besides what is bothering you?’ It’s not about avoidance. To be happy, we have to take responsibility for our happiness. Most people really aren’t used to asking, ‘What did I do right today?’ or thinking, ‘What was great that happened?’

“Happiness can be as simple as training ourselves to redirect our focus to what is wonderful in our lives!

“It’s a common misunderstanding,” he continues, “that happiness comes from outside themselves, from our outside circumstances. We need to

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begin to understand that actually, happiness comes from within. There’s no quick fix. There’s no ‘perfect life.’

The city of happiness is in the state of mind.

“We learn in Pirkei Avot, ‘Aizehu ashir, hasamei’ach b’chelko—Who is rich? The one who is happy with his portion.’ To be ‘happy with our portion,’ we have to notice what it is that we actually have.

“Material affluence is also not an indicator of happiness. Once a person is no longer struggling for basic food and shelter needs… Happiness is not based on ‘having more.’”

Time Affluence Among other pointers, Ben-Shahar emphasizes that “time affluence” is what makes people happy. “Having time with our loved ones, doing what we love is what makes a difference.

Working more hours may make us more money, but we’ll pay the ‘ultimate currency’ if we do,” he explains.

“The fact is that additional pay and professional recognition don’t make us happier. More quality time off to savor the joy we already have does. We all feel more time pressures today, and part of it is economic, but part of it involves the choices we make about how we spend our time.”

He emphasizes that taking care of oneself by getting enough sleep, eating health-promoting foods, and avoiding junk are essential components of attaining happiness. “Regular, vigorous exercise, at least three times a week, for thirty to forty minutes, is more potent than psychiatric drugs,” he claims, citing medical research that supports this theory.

He also frequently quotes the fascinating research results that were obtained during an important six-month study. Three control groups were asked to record different daily experiences every night for half a year. Group A was instructed to record five positive events that had happened that day, or

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A Catalyst of Learning and Growth

“

Ben-Shahar also addresses how to be happy when we are confronted by tragedy and hardship. “A happy life is not a pain-free life. Nowadays there is a strong tendency to medicate

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So why wasn’t I happy? Was it because being ‘smart,’ ‘affluent,’ ‘successful,’ and ‘well-connected’ by society’s definition isn’t a guarantee of happiness?

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“

something for which they were grateful. Group B was asked to write down neutral events, such as “Today I went shopping” or “I did my laundry, homework, etc.,” and Group C was required to record negative episodes that had aggravated or upset them that day.

The study found that that those who kept a daily gratitude journal, recording what went right that day, were healthier, happier, more successful, and more optimistic, and were more inclined to be generous, kind, and act benevolently towards others than those who kept neutral or negative journals.

away painful emotions. But [in reality] painful emotions can be the catalyst that leads to important learning and growth.

“A full life has within it sadness, anger, envy, fear, and disappointment. If we don’t give ourselves permission to experience these painful emotions, they intensify, become toxic, and they stick.

When we let them flow through us, they weaken and dissipate. This leads to healing and wholeness.

“There is mounting evidence in the psychological literature that focusing on cultivating strengths, optimism, gratitude, and a positive perspective can lead to growth even during difficult times,” says BenShahar.

“Difficult times

can break us, but they can also make us. Research in positive psychology and other related fields shows how we can navigate through these challenging times and emerge stronger. My hope is to introduce as many people as possible to research, tools, and techniques that can help them make the most of a difficult situation.

“Happiness is definitely possible even after we have experienced terrible loss or sudden tragedy.”

After a trip to China two years ago, where he advised the psychology community on counseling survivors in the aftermath of a devastating earthquake, he said, “I was moved by the dedication of the psychologists who are making a difference in the lives of those who have been through the most horrendous experience. They were helping thousands of people deal with the trauma, enhancing the likelihood that in the long-term they will experience post-traumatic growth rather than post-traumatic stress disorder.”

He emphasizes that if we actually allow ourselves to feel the real pain and not suppress the raw, negative emotions, true healing can happen and we can learn to go on. “Tragedy can

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Six Tips for a Happier Life These tips are the outgrowth of Professor Benshahar’s “Positive Psychology” course at harvard and can also be found in his many books on the topic.

1 2

Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions—such as fear, sadness, or anxiety—as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.

Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters: moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.

3

Keep in mind that happiness depends more on our state of mind than on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances of war, poverty, and hunger, our level of well-being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?

4 5

Simplify! We are generally too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.

Remember the mind-body connection.

What we do—or don’t do—with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health. Learn what’s best for your optimum well-being!

6

Express your gratitude whenever possible.

Keep a daily journal to jot down everything you appreciate and savor in life. Too often, we take our lives and our loved ones for granted. Learn to notice all the wonderful things in your life that surround you every moment!

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actually lead to great growth. PTSD—posttraumatic stress disorder—should be renamed PTG—posttraumatic growth.”

Happiness Is Subjective Ben-Shahar stresses that the experience of happiness is very subjective, in part because we choose how to respond to pain and disappointment. “I believe that people can make the best of things that happen,” he says. “Resilient people are those who find meaning in the events that happen to them. They look for and create growth from difficult situations. You can choose to be devastated by events, or you can derive benefit from them. The global economic crisis provides another opportunity for learning effective strategies for coping with loss—of jobs, savings, retirement, and perhaps the greatest loss of all—of hope in a better and brighter future.

“We have to train ourselves to focus on the yeish— what we have—instead of the ein—what we lack. Feeling gratitude is a choice we can make even during hard times, which can help us reinterpret an event in order to achieve optimal growth.”

Ben-Shahar also says that a successful life can come from failure. He is known for his famous catchy quotes, including “Learn to fail, or fail to learn,” and “Don’t say, ‘It happened for the best,’ but rather, ‘How can I make the best of what happened?’”

His books and presentations offer honest, triedand-true methods to train ourselves to focus on the positive. He gives concrete exercises and “happiness boosters” that cover the range of how to increase selfesteem, spirituality, friendship, love, empathy, creativity, achievement, and a vital sense of humor. There are questions that help us identify activities that will make us happier immediately, especially when we apply what we’ve learned to our personal relationships, work, and home endeavors.

The Jewish Way of Happiness Ben-Shahar doesn’t shy away from encouraging students to explore spirituality. Numerous studies on happiness include many happiness suggestions that are found in a traditional Jewish lifestyle.

“For example, it’s documented that people who take off a day of rest are happier and more productive than those who don’t. That is what Shabbat offers us every week,” he says.

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lenses on our glasses to really see and appreciate the abundance of gifts we have.

If the students at Harvard can learn this lesson, shouldn’t we, as frum Jews, be able to learn it as well?

Chava Dumas is an editor, writer, speaker and certified doula living in Jerusalem. She teaches a popular shiurim series on emunah and bitachon called “Creating a Pearl: Turning Life’s Challenges into Something Beautiful” and can be reached at lightsd@zahav.net.il.

“

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A happy life is not a painfree life. Nowadays there is a strong tendency to medicate away painful emotions. But painful emotions can be the catalyst that leads to important learning and growth.

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“

“And gratitude is woven into the fabric of a Jew’s entire day, from the moment one wakes up and says Modeh Ani and on to the numerous morning blessings we say to express hakarat hatov for our shoes, our clothes, our eyesight, and our ability to use the bathroom with a healthy, functioning body. There are blessings for seeing amazing natural phenomenon like falling stars, lightning, and the ocean, and for hearing thunder. There are many blessings over different types of food that we eat, each one a reminder of all the small things we have in abundance.”

Practicing rituals and having a sense of spirituality also make people happier, Ben-Shahar notes. “Going regularly to synagogue and spending time with family around the dinner table [is all beneficial].”

In Arctic cultures, where the quality and consistency of snow and ice are vital to people’s survival, their languages reflect an unusually rich representation of words that describe different types of snow and ice. Because joy is so vital to our survival and wellbeing as Jews, the Hebrew language is replete with words to describe various levels of happiness, such as gilah, rinah, ditzah, chedvah, alizut, tzahalah, sasson, and simchah. Are we even aware of the subtle yet meaningful differences between these different states of joy?

According to Ben-Shahar, ultimately, our efforts to cultivate, maintain, and enhance our relationships with others and with Hashem are a surer source of happiness than investing in fleeting financial and materialistic pursuits that will never satisfy the inner soul. We have been given a precious inheritance that contains the formula to help us open our eyes and to change the

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fiction

please let me in

Acceptance I The school year is already underway. Will little Rivka be accepted?

MALKIE GENDELMAN 34

f the situation wasn’t so serious, it could have been laughable: The stern-faced principal seated at his desk, Dr. and Mrs. Fine seated opposite him, and little Rivka Fine perched on a high stool between her parents. But with the school year already two weeks underway, it wasn’t a funny situation at all.

“I understand your predicament, and I wish I could help you,” Rabbi Lemberg said for the umpteenth time, shifting his yarmulke’s position on his graying head. “And yet, as principal, I have a responsibility to the school. Our classrooms are, bli ayin hara, bursting at the seams. There’s just no way we can accept any more students.”

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“Will one more girl really make such a difference?” Mrs. Fine asked, close to tears.

Rabbi Lemberg looked over the five-year-old once again. His sharp eyes took in her short socks, trendy dress, and loose curls. The Fines were such sincere people, and they had come a long way. They had promised to do whatever it took to conform to the high standards of Bnos Esther.

And yet...

Hayahafoch kushi oro? Can a person change his skin color? Rabbi Lemberg sighed. He couldn’t risk taking such a family into his school.

Who knew what kind of negative effect they could have on his sheltered students?

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Fine, but there’s really nothing I could do. I can, however, give you the names of other excellent schools for your daughter...”

“Thanks, but that won’t be necessary,” Dr. Fine said, standing up.

Clearly, their meeting was over. “We already have the list. It’s just that we so badly wanted Bnos Esther...”

Once in the car, Lisa Fine couldn’t control her tears.

“I know why he refused us, David.

It’s because we’re ba’alei teshuvah.

We’re not good enough for them.”

David Fine felt his stomach tighten. “Lisa, don’t say that. It’s only because you feel different from them that you think they treat you differently.”

“Oh, come on, David. Didn’t you see the disapproving looks he kept shooting at Rivka’s outfit?”

“Well, if you knew there was something wrong with the outfit, why did you dress her in it?” David couldn’t keep from asking.

“I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it, not until Rabbi Lemberg made that kind of face about it!” Lisa said, her voice rising.

MAGAZINE

“David, I’m trying my best! Modesty is still new to me, too, you know.”

David softened. “I know it is, and I’m proud of the strides you’ve made, Lisa. Wanting to send Rivka to such a yeshivish school, and to conform to all its standards, is a tremendous thing.”

He paused thoughtfully. “Look, maybe you’re right about them turning us down because we’re ba’alei teshuvah. But if that’s so, it’s only because they don’t realize how sincere we are. They don’t realize that we only want to raise our own level of Yiddishkeit, not bring down others, G-d forbid.”

“How do we convince them that?”

Lisa asked, wiping her eyes.

They were nearing their home.

David pulled into their driveway and shut the ignition. Then he turned to his wife. “By continuing to try to get Rivka in, that’s how.”

When the telephone rang later that evening, Lisa glanced at the caller ID and she answered the call reluctantly.

“Hi, Mom.” “Lisa, honey! How are you?”

Maybe she won’t ask. Maybe...

Lisa spent a few minutes chatting with her mother about the weather, her mother’s day at work, and David’s allergies, all the while waiting nervously for the ax to fall. Then it came.

“And how does Becky like school?”

“Well, actually, Mom, she didn’t start school yet. See, she’s not yet accepted, but––” “Lisa!” Her mother was livid. “The school year began two weeks ago. I want to know why my granddaughter hasn’t begun kindergarten like every other five-year-old in the country! If the school you want hasn’t accepted her, send her to another school!”

“Mom, you don’t understand.

“Well, if you knew there was something wrong with the outfit, why did you dress her in it?” David couldn’t keep from asking.

David and I are very particular about which school Rivka attends. We want her to get the very best Jewish education possible, and so far, the school that we feel offers that hasn’t accepted her.”

“Is this how the ultra-Orthodox treat you?” Lisa’s mother hissed.

“I told you they’d never fully accept you. But you were stubborn and refused to listen to me. Now, when your daughter can’t get into kindergarten, for goodness sake, because her parents are ‘newcomers’ to the Orthodox lifestyle, you see for yourself how wrong you were in turning your back on your parents’ way of life!”

The hurtful words were like rusty nails scraping into Lisa’s already pained heart. She felt tears stinging her eyelids again. But her mother wasn’t finished.

“Lisa, why won’t you listen to me?

Move back to Madison, where we are. You’ll send Becky to the Jewish

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35

day school here. Believe me, they’ll accept you with open arms! What do you need the ultra-Orthodox for, especially if they don’t want you?”

For a split second, Lisa let her thoughts run away with her mother’s enticing, albeit absurd, suggestion.

Open arms…! No more struggling to convince others to accept us for who we are… No more humiliating meetings with principals who can’t look past our externals… No more of this horrible fighting for acceptance…

“Mom,” Lisa said, “I don’t want to discuss this anymore. David and I put a lot of thought into our decision to live in this community, and to give our children the most authentic Jewish education possible. Even at the expense of having our feelings hurt in the process. Sometimes it hurts to do the right thing.”

••• Rabbi Lemberg wasn’t surprised to discover the Fines back at his office the following day, their daughter in tow. But his decision hadn’t changed, and he immediately made that very clear.

Dr. Fine turned earnest eyes to the principal. “Rabbi Lemberg,

36

please, just hear us out,” he said.

“My wife and I did a lot of talking last night. We discussed the answer you’ve given us, and we discussed its bearing on who we are as Torah Jews, where we came from, and where we envision ourselves heading. And… and…well, we just want to be very open with you about things.”

Rabbi Lemberg raised an eyebrow, but acquiesced to the request. As the foursome took their seats, same as the day before, Lisa smiled encouragingly, if a bit nervously, at her husband. She and David had looked again into the other Orthodox schools in the area, none of which had as high standards as Bnos Esther, and decided that before having to lower their expectations of the type of education they wished to give their children, they’d give Bnos Esther one last shot—and their best one, at that.

David cleared his throat. “This is not comfortable for us, Rabbi. My wife and I are not used to begging for acceptance like this. Yet it means so much to us that our daughter receive the education we ourselves weren’t fortunate to receive that we’re willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that this happens!

“Rabbi, we know we aren’t your typical Bnos Esther family, and we understand your hesitations to accept us. Still, we feel that there is much a family like ours could add to your school. Yes, I know we’re ba’alei teshuvah, and we may not yet know all the social niceties and norms of the community. But… but can you perhaps look at these facts from a different perspective? Couldn’t it be that it’s that exact position of ours which maybe gives us a certain breadth, a certain tolerance and

acceptance—something that does not come naturally to others?

“Rabbi Lemberg, all we’re asking for is a chance. Please, even for a trial period, give our family a chance to be in your school. I can assure you that you won’t be sorry you did.”

A sudden commotion down the hall cut David’s words short. Rabbi Lemberg jumped to his feet.

“Excuse me while I check what this is about,” he said and quickly left the room.

The Fines exchanged concerned glances.

“I hope everything is okay,” Lisa said to her husband. “Come, let’s see what’s going on.”

The commotion was emanating from the kindergarten room. A young mother pushing a baby carriage stood in the doorway, with a kindergarten child at her side. The girl was apparently late for school, and her mother was dropping her off. The frightened shrieks, however, were coming from the other kindergarten girls standing around.

“Eew, look at that baby! Why does he look so funny?”

“Hey, where’s all his hair?”

“Chani, what happened to your baby’s hair?”

“Help! He looks so scary!”

Rabbi Lemberg didn’t need either mother or daughter to turn around to know that it was the Hessers.

For two months already, the school had been saying Tehillim for the Hesser baby, who’d been diagnosed with leukemia. Chani Hesser must have gotten used to seeing her baby like this, but not so her classmates. To them, the bald baby with the bulging eyes came straight from their worst nightmares.

As hysteria mounted amongst her horrified friends, Chani Hesser burst into uncontrollable sobs. Her mother

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stood frozen in place. Even the young kindergarten teacher seemed to be at a loss, her face white as she tried to calm the hysterical students.

In the bedlam of the children and the shocked silence of the adults, Rabbi Lemberg groped for something to say.

Without warning, a new voice, childish and shy, suddenly spoke up.

“Is that your baby brother?” Rivka Fine asked, tapping Chani on her shoulder. Mid-sob, Chani looked up at the unfamiliar girl and nodded.

“He’s so cute!”

Chani blinked. Then, as if by magic, her face cleared, and she broke out into a thousand-watt smile. “I know! He’s delicious!”

Like a pinprick in a balloon, the exchange between the two five-yearolds had succeeded in diffusing the tension in the air.

“You know, kinderlach, this girl is right,” the kindergarten teacher said.

“Chani’s brother is very cute. There’s no reason to be afraid of him. He just needs a refuah sheleimah, which is what we’re all davening for, right?”

One by one, the little kindergarteners nodded their heads, beginning to calm down.

“Now let’s all say good-bye to Chani’s mommy and baby, and get back to our seats like good, big girls.”

The kindergarteners followed their teacher into the classroom, and Mrs. Hesser, giving her daughter a hug and kiss, hurriedly took her leave from the school.

The Fines found themselves alone in the hallway with the principal.

Rabbi Lemberg took out a tissue and blew his nose hard. Then he glanced at his watch. “Look,” he said to the Fines, “I have a meeting right

MAGAZINE

now with one of the school board members. Can we continue with our discussion another time? You know what, give my secretary a call aand she’ll set up another appointment for us.

All right?”

••• As David and Lisa Fine walked to their car, little Rivka trailing behind them, they met Mrs. Hesser in the school parking lot. Her face was still pale, but the gratitude in her eyes was unmistakable.

“Thank you,” she said simply.

“You have a very special daughter. I hope she’s going to be in my Chani’s class.”

David and Lisa were quiet on the way home. Once they reached their house, however, David turned to Lisa.

This time his voice was soft. “Lisa,” he said, “regardless of whether or not Rivka gets accepted into Bnos Esther, I think we’ve seen today that acceptance comes in many forms.”

Lisa turned around to look at her daughter, who had fallen asleep in the back seat. Rivka’s small hands were tucked between the car seat and her left cheek, her blonde curls cascading over shoulders and an angelic look on her little face. Lisa smiled. Then she

I want to know why my granddaughter hasn’t begun kindergarten like every other fiveyear-old in the country!” looked back at her husband and met his eyes.

There were tears streaming from her eyes again. But this time, they both knew, they were not tears of hurt or of pain. They were tears of love, of understanding…and of pride.

Malkie (Nisenbaum) Gendelman works as an editor for Israel Bookshop Publications. She lives in Lakewood, NJ, with her family.

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INSPIRING LIVES

The Heroine in Every Woman Chana (Jenny) Weisberg

“WE ARE HONORED TODAY TO HOST MRS. AVITAL SHARANSKY, THE WOMAN WHO, ALONG WITH HER HUSBAND, DEFEATED THE SOVIET UNION!” 52

I

attended a weekly class in a nearby neighborhood. I was wondering who the guest speaker would be that week when a middle-aged woman with a kind, round face and deep chocolate brown eyes walked into the room.

Our excited hostess declared, “We are honored today to host Mrs. Avital Sharansky, the woman who, along with her husband, defeated the Soviet Union. This is the couple who single-handedly defeated Communism!” Tears came to my eyes to finally see this great woman in person, and for the next hour I had to remove my glasses again and again to wipe the tears that flowed from my eyes as Avital Sharansky told her life story in halting English, clearly speaking from the bottom of her heart.

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A Siberian Childhood Avital described what it was like growing up in a small village in Siberia, not even knowing she was Jewish until her older brother had to fill in his nationality on his Soviet identity card when he turned 16. Avital’s parents wanted him to take advantage of their connections with the local Communist officials and write that he was Russian, but he told them, “No, I am a Jew!” And young Avital, only 14 years old, stood beside him and piped in, “Yes, and I am a Jew too!” even though Avital did not even know what a Jew was.

Very slowly, over the next few years, Avital began questioning atheism, despite the first Soviet astronaut’s mocking assurance to the world in the late 1960s: “I went up into the heavens, and there definitely wasn’t anybody up there.”

Avital moved to Moscow to study in university and dabbled in Eastern religions and Christianity, but those religions didn’t speak to her. And then, one day she was reading an illegal samizdat collection of Jewish writings that she had received from a friend (that, if found, would have earned her seven years in jail), and the last article was about the participants in the Leningrad trial -- a group of young Jews who were sentenced to death in 1970 for trying to hijack a plane to bring them to Israel.

Where is Israel?

Avital, already in her twenties, was unsure where Israel was even located in the world, so she went to find Israel on a map. But she could barely see it, since the Jewish state was so small that the name “Israel” was written out in the Mediterranean.

A few weeks later, some of Avital’s friends told her in hushed voices that they had found an elderly man who, would you believe it, still remembered the Hebrew alphabet! So she went with her friends to the apartment of this man who lived right outside of Moscow, and once inside they pulled down all the curtains and put the chain on the door.

The man taught them the Hebrew letters and he explained to them, “These are the letters with which the Holy One created the Universe.” Avital told us, “At that moment, it was as though half of the Soviet Union simply collapsed. This man was telling us that G-d actually

54

YOUNG AVITAL, ONLY 14 YEARS OLD, PIPED IN, “YES, AND I AM A JEW TOO!” EVEN THOUGH SHE DID NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT A JEW WAS.

did exist, and not only that, that He created the world in a language that it was illegal to even study in the Soviet Union.” Avital understood that learning Hebrew was the way to free herself from the lies, emptiness and hypocrisy of Soviet society.

Avital returned several times to this old man to learn more Hebrew, and she also began visiting the Moscow synagogue on Shabbat. The first time Avital went to the synagogue was a gray, snowy, awful October morning in 1973, but when she arrived, she was amazed to discover hundreds of young people standing outside the synagogue discussing something with a lot of excitement.

Every now and then, one of the young people would run away and then rush back, and announce, “We’ve crossed the Suez Canal!” and then a few minutes later, “We’re right outside Damascus!” Avital had not even known that there was a war taking place in the Middle East, but these young people, despite years of Communist education that tried to drive into their brains over and over that anyone in their right mind would rather be a “Soviet” than a Jew, felt as though they were also soldiers in the battle for Israel’s survival that was reaching its conclusion at that moment—the Yom Kippur War.

Laughing at the KGB Avital was in awe of all these young people who were so unafraid, who just kept on talking and laughing when

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Excerpted with permission from aish.com from the book One Baby the KGB came to photograph them. She had never seen anybody like these people in her whole life, and she sensed Step at a Time: Seven Secrets of Jewish Motherhood, by Chana (Jenny) that this was what Israelis were like as well. She envisioned a Weisberg (Urim 2007) country filled with brave people like her new companions, grasping a Bible in one hand, and a hoe in the other.

One Saturday morning outside of the Moscow synagogue, Avital met her future husband for the first time.

Within several weeks they were engaged. They married the night before Avital left on a plane for Israel, not long before Natan was sent to prison for the next decade.

From Israel, Avital traveled to many countries, met with world leaders, was interviewed by the press, and coordinated demonstrations. She and her husband were separated for nine years—nine years during which Avital fought tirelessly for Natan’s release from prison.

I kept looking at this woman and asking myself what I would have done if I had been in her situation. Where would I have found the strength, the depth of belief to do what she did after growing up in the house of idealistic Communist Party members, at the age of 20, unfamiliar with even the most basic Jewish concepts? Where did her strength come from? There’s a heroine in every woman.

SHE ENVISIONED A COUNTRY FILLED WITH BRAVE PEOPLE LIKE HER NEW COMPANIONS, GRASPING A BIBLE IN ONE HAND, AND A HOE IN THE OTHER.

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Back-to-School Nutrition

Breakfast

The Most Important Meal of the Day .Start your child’s day right .GITTA BIXENSPANNER, N.D NUTRITHERAPIST, LIFESTYLE COACH

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As our children prepare to go back to school, parents need to .worry about their meals, to help make it as nutritious as possible One of the most common nutritional fallacies in our times is the habit of many adults and children to skip breakfast.

Many are the reasons given: -lack of time to prepare, or to -sit down and eat breakfast when rushing off to school or .work, -lack of appetite for breakfast at such an early hour Ask any melamed or teacher about students’ performance

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in the morning and they will tell you: that there is a marked difference between those children that eat breakfast regularly and those that do not.

Children’s growing bodies and developing brains rely heavily on the regular intake of food. When people, especially children, skip breakfast they can end up going for as long as eighteen hours without food, and this period of semi-starvation can create many .physical, intellectual and behavioral problems Nutritionist and health care providers have often advised their patients to “eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper�; implying effectively that breakfast is the most important meal of the day for high performance. Not only will anyone who has eaten breakfast perform better at school .or work, but will also benefit their metabolism A GOOD INVESTMENT If you and your kids regularly skip breakfast in the interest of saving time or getting a few more minutes of sleep, or a strategy of teens to lose weight, remember that eating a wholesome, nutritious morning meal will probably save you time in the long run. By recharging your brain and your body, you will be more efficient in just about everything you do. Interestingly, studies show that kids who skip breakfast are tardy and absent from school more often than children who eat breakfast on a regular basis. Preparing a good breakfast can be as quick and easy as splashing some milk over cereal. Time invested in breakfast is much more valuable than the few extra minutes of sleep you might get by bypassing the morning meal. If you and your kids seem unable to make time for breakfast, consider enrolling your children in a school breakfast program, if possible, or pack a breakfast brown-bag the night before so that you and your .kids can eat on the way to school and work In third world countries where workers are very poor and often come to work without breakfast, many large companies offer a light breakfast, not only because of consideration for .the workers, but to attain higher performance Eating breakfast has been proven (many times) to improve concentration, problem solving ability, mental performance, memory, and mood. On

average, breakfast eaters will think faster and .clearer, and will have better recall of their work Breakfast skippers also have a harder time fitting important nutrients into their diet. Many foods eaten at breakfast contain significant amounts .of vitamins C and D, calcium, iron, and fiber BREAK THE FAST TO SHED THE POUNDS Many people, especially teenage girls, skip breakfast in an effort to lose weight, but the practice is more likely to cause weight gain than weight loss. Skipping breakfast is strongly linked to the development of obesity. Studies show that overweight and obese children, adolescents, and adults are less likely to break the fast each .morning than their thinner counterparts are According to research, skipping meals, especially breakfast, can actually make weight control more difficult. Breakfast skippers tend to eat more food than usual at the next meal or nibble on high-calorie snacks to stave off hunger. Several studies suggest that people tend to accumulate more body fat when they eat fewer, larger meals than when they

eat the same number of calories in smaller, more frequent meals. To teens, especially teenage girls, skipping breakfast may seem like a perfectly logical way to cut down on calories and lose weight. It’s important for moms to educate their kids about the importance of the morning meal and the role it plays in maintaining good health and preventing obesity. .Teaching by example is always the most effective GUIDELINES FOR A HEALTHY BREAKFAST Here are some guidelines to promote optimal energy. Having finger foods as well as cut up fruits or vegetables on the breakfast table will encourage children to help .themselves before rushing off to school Calories The best range of calories for breakfast is between 350 and 500. Below 350, your body will not fulfill the requirements for morning energy usage; above .500, your body may store unneeded calories as fat Balance Plan and eat a balanced breakfast meal including complex carbohydrate as in whole grains, protein, such as eggs, milk products (yogurt), fat such as avocadoes, a handful or .nuts or nut butters and a fruit or vegetable Quantity to Aim for to 2 servings of complex carbohydrates. One 1 › serving equals 1 piece of bread, ½ cup of cooked oatmeal, 1 cup of dry cereal, 1 English muffin, .½ bagel, ¼ cup of granola, 1 small muffin

serving of protein. For example, 1 cup 1 › of yogurt, ½ cup of cottage cheese, 1 ounce of cheese, 1 large egg, 2 ounces of smoked salmon, 1 cup of milk or almond milk, 2 tablespoons (T) of peanut .butter, or ¼ cup of nuts or seeds serving of fat. e.g., 1 teaspoon (t) of butter, 1 › 1 t of oil, 1 tablespoon (T) of cream cheese.

But check your protein and carbohydrates for fat, there’s no need to add extra if you have .a serving of fat in your granola or omelet serving of a fruit or vegetable. That 1 › is 1 medium piece of fruit, 1 cup of cut fruit, ¼ cup dried fruit, 6 ounces of fruit juice, 1 cup of raw or ½ cup of .cooked vegetables, 1 cup of vegetable juice What if there is just no time in the morning to eat breakfast? Many items can be prepared the night before and bring along with you to school or work.

Carry a re-sealable bag of easy-to-eat whole grain cereal, or bring a yogurt or small box of skim milk, juice, or fruit. If you just can’t stomach food in the morning, try to have a little something — such as some juice — and bring along a mid-morning snack.

Other good portable items include whole grain crackers, a hard boiled egg, cottage cheese, low-fat granola bars, or even a nut butter sandwich. Single serving hot cereals, such as oatmeal, are handy — all you have to do is add hot water, available at .most offices, but not all schools will permit it It is very important to remember that habits are formed early on, and mothers have the most formidable task of inculcating good eating practices from the youngest age. In many households, there is no such thing as leaving the house without a hearty and varied breakfast, while other homes do not make the time to indoctrinate their offspring with good habits, eventually, both will reap .the rewards/consequences for their habits Whatever your choice, eat something. If you think you are doing fine without breakfast, just try changing your ways for a week — and you are sure to notice a difference. You will undoubtedly perform better with some fuel in your system, .and, hopefully, become a breakfast believer

Breakfast Recipes to Prepare in Advance

Overnight Oats Oatmeal can be prepared the night before with healthy and good for the brain ingredients. In the morning it only needs to be warmed up for a nutritionally sound breakfast that is ready in minutes. Educate your children to avoid sugar or unwholesome .substitutes. It is all a matter of habit Minutes to Prepare and Cook 10

cup large flakes oatmeal 1 )cup dates chopped (or date sugar 1/4 cup raisins 1/4 )apple, cored and grated (optional 1 Tbs Flaxseed meal (optional, but oh! 2 )so vital for wellbeing cups boiling water ½ 2 In a pot mix oatmeal, dates, raisins and grate the cored apple (with or w/o the skin) as well as flaxseed meal into the mixture. Immediately cover with boiling .water, leave it on the stove overnight

In the morning add ½ cup Almond or Rice milk, as most water will have soaked in, then bring to a boil. Cereal is ready to eat. You can keep this mixture in your refrigerator up to 3 days. Feel free to be creative by adding your favorite fruits, nuts or natural sugars. You can halve or double the recipe adjusting it to your needs

Double Chocolate Chip Hazelnut Cookies These cookies are heavenly, and healthy as well. Train children early to develop a taste for them and they will want nothing else. Watch their excitement as .they help you create them cup (250 ml) whole wheat pastry flour 1 cup (250 ml) rolled oats toasted for 10 1 minutes ml) cups toasted skinned 375( ¼ 1 hazelnut ml) cup cocoa 75( 1/3 )ml) cup date sugar (or sucanat 100( ¼ tsp salt ½ 125ml) cup carob/chocolate chip( ½ cup (125 ml) canola oil ½ cup (125 ml) maple syrup ½ )cup (125 ml) flaxseed meal (optional ½ Mix all ingredients by hand until well blended. Shape small amounts of dough into cookies and put them into a baking .sheet Bake at 350˚ for 20 minutes. Remove from oven, even if they are still a bit soft as cookies will get harder, as it gets .cold. Store in the freezer Preparation time: 30 minutes Yields 2 dozen cookies

Spelt Cookies These cookies are a cinch to make and they melt in your mouth. They can be mixed in a bowl, no need for a mixer.

These cookies can be a fun activity to do with your children anytime. Keep them frozen until needed. Great for breakfast .on the run cups (500 ml) spelt flour 2 cup (250 ml) homemade unsweetened 1 applesauce cup (250 ml) unsweetened coconut or 1 ground walnuts ½ cup (125 ml) flaxseed meal

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)cup (125 ml) Sucanat (date sugar ½ oil (75 ml) oil 1/3 tsp. (5 ml) baking soda 1 Combine Sucanat or sugar substitute, oil, .applesauce and vanilla Add dry ingredients and mix lightly.

Grease a cookie sheet. Form balls in a .size to suit your needs )Bake 20 minutes @ 375° F (190°

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Healthy Grab and Go Muffins This muffin tastes scrumptious even though it uses wholesome flours and natural sweeteners. I usually double .the recipe, because they go very fast The recipe calls for whole wheat pastry flour, but it can be substituted with spelt flour. Since spelt flour is so much softer, this muffin with the spelt flour .melts in your mouth Feel free to experiment with flours and sugars. This recipe calls for maple syrup but feel free to substitute with honey .or barley malt

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cups (500 ml) whole wheat pastry flour 2 cup (250 ml) corn meal 1 Tbs (10 ml) baking powder (purchase 1 baking powder that does not contain aluminum available in health food )stores )tsp (5 ml) cinnamon (optional 1 )pinch fresh ground clover (optional 1 )pinch nutmeg powder (optional 1 tsp sea salt 1/8 cup (125ml) maple syrup (or honey ½ )or barley malt )ml) cup oil (corn oil or canola oil 125( ½ )cup (60 ml) water (or apple juice ¾ eggs, beaten 2

Preheat oven at 375°F. Combine the dry ingredients if mixing by hand. If mixing in a mixer, alternate the dry and wet ingredients until you get a smooth consistency. Make sure to undo all .lumps but do not over mix If batter is too dry add ½ cup water, mix it well and spoon into prepared .lined muffin pans Fill tins up to the top and they will rise and give you nice size muffins, bake for 20 minutes, or until toothpick comes .out clean !Enjoy .Variation: Add your favorite berries*

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Granola This is a delicious and healthful breakfast cereal that everyone will enjoy. It is quite fattening so enjoy it !sparingly cups oats 8 cup (250ml) wheat germ 1 cup (125 ml) almonds or walnuts ½ soaked overnight, drained and chopped cup (125 ml) sunflower seeds ½ soaked for 6 hours cup (125ml) pumpkin seeds soaked ½ )for 6 hours (optional cup (125 ml) honey ½ cup (125ml) oil ½

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In a large bowl mix oats, wheat germ, sunflower and pumpkin seeds .as well as soaked nuts Combine honey, oil and pour over dry ingredients, coating everything as well as you can. If you like it sweeter, .feel free to increase the honey Transfer mixture into a large baking sheet, and bake in the oven on 350°F for 2 hours or until all ingredients are .dry Add 1 cup light raisins when you take it out of the oven, and mix well.

Store in the refrigerator in an air tight container. It will last for a couple of .months

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Serve it with Almond Milk, Rice .Dream or Oat Milk Use granola as a crunchy topping over any dish that you want to enhance, like ice cream or compote.

Add granola to baked items such as muffins, quick breads and cookies, baked apple or fruit pies, for extra .crunch Preparation time: 20 minutes .Yields 14 cups of granola

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