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About About the the Igeres Igeres Kodesh Kodesh it it is is written written "Whoever "Whoever About the Igeres Kodesh it is written "Whoever reads reads the the Igeres Igeres Kodesh Kodesh is is promised promised that that hehe reads Igeres Kodesh is promised that he will will bethe be saved saved from from allall troubles troubles and and hehe will will will be in saved from all troubles and he will succeed succeed in allall his his endeavors". endeavors". After After reading reading succeed in all his endeavors". After reading the the Igeres Igeres HaKodesh, HaKodesh, Rav Rav Chaim Chaim Kanievsky Kanievsky the Igeres HaKodesh, Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita Shlita will will daven daven forfor donors donors toto Kupat Kupat Ha'ir Ha'ir Shlita will daven for donors to Kupat Ha'ir
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How Hamentaschen Brought Me Back to Judaism by Holly Koppel
Growing up in an inter-faith family, I knew nothing about Judaism. All that changed with Hamentaschen and a website.
L
ike any other good Jewish story, this one begins with food. Hamantaschen to be exact. Fourteen years ago, I was working in Washington D.C. and aside from reading Torah on the Metro every day, I wasn’t terribly religious. One spring day though, that was all about to change. On a balmy spring morning in March, a coworker came in to the office and dropped off a box of cookies in the common area. Intrigued by the thought of a mid-morning snack, I ventured out of my office to see what kind of cookies he had brought. They were triangle shaped with what looked like a fruit center. “What are these?” I asked him. “Oh, just some hamantaschen,” he replied walking off. I repeated the word a few times as I picked one up and took it back to my desk. It was good, but what was “hamantaschen”? I wondered. So, I got on my computer and asked Google. The first site to pop up was Aish.com’s Purim site. I read the article on Purim foods, then I started going through the rest of the Purim page. By the time I
22
finished, it was well past lunchtime – it was almost mid-afternoon! I went home that night and told my husband about the strange cookies my co-worker brought and this neat website I had discovered with all this information on Judaism. Luckily my husband is pretty indulgent of anything I’m interested in and encouraged me to keep reading through the website, which I did for days, weeks, and months on end. Judaism was something I had always had an interest in since I was a young child. Growing up in an inter-faith family, the only thing I knew about it was my mom’s family was Jewish and my dad’s weren’t. My mom had told me some stories about her experiences with Judaism. I heard about how she’d crash bar mitzvah parties at the synagogue (by accident of course!), how I was named for my great-great grandmother in the Jewish tradition, and about yummy foods like latkes.
the High Holidays, we didn’t even identify ourselves as Jews. In fact, we celebrated Christmas and Easter in our house and when I was growing up, I attended Sunday school at the Presbyterian church where my father’s parent’s went. But something always f e l t “off ” to
But that’s where it ended. We didn’t go to synagogue, we didn’t celebrate
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me, I didn’t feel like the services I attended there were right. And I was viewed as troublesome in the Sunday school class because I didn’t just “believe”, I questioned everything they told me. Sunday school teachers don’t like young children questioning the immaculate conception! When I was a teenager, my family moved to the Washington D.C. area and my Mom started attending synagogue on Friday nights. My father and I reluctantly accompanied her, but I didn’t feel any less awkward there, especially since most of the service was in Hebrew and I had no idea what anyone was saying! I was especially confused when at the beginning of the Friday night service, everyone stood up and looked at the doors to the sanctuary. “Is this to make people coming in late feel bad?” I remember asking. Unfortunately, our Friday night Shabbat services were short lived. After showing an interest in becoming members of the synagogue, my mother was told by the Rabbi there that she wasn’t actually Jewish because her father wasn’t Jewish. My mother was devastated and we never went back or talked about it again. I’ve never forgotten that episode, and have always felt bad that when my mother was trying to reach out to h e r Jewish roots and reconnect, she was
I repeated the word a few times as I picked one up and took it back to my desk. It was good, but what was “hamantaschen”? I wondered. So, I got on my computer and asked Google. pushed away without a second thought (and for a totally mistaken reason: my mother was in fact Jewish according to Jewish law since her mother was Jewish!). A few months later, she died in a car accident and without a solid religious background, I felt like I was left adrift. I still felt like there was a G-d out there, but that He must be punishing me for doing something wrong. I was upset and missed my mom terribly. The only thing I felt like I had to connect with her on some level now that she was no longer with me was Judaism. I told my dad I wanted to study Judaism, so he took me to the local Reform congregation where the Rabbi talked to me about Judaism
and how “hard” the commandments were, then gave me a book about it and sent me away. I felt very dejected and like there wasn’t a religion out there for me at all. And for years, that’s where my Jewish journey ended. I skimmed the book the Rabbi of the Reform congregation gave me, but it was a very dry account of the tenets of Judaism and it didn’t seem to have anything to do with my life or anything modern. Judaism seemed to be an old-fashioned religion. It wasn’t until I met my husband again that I started looking into Judaism again. We went to a service at the Reform synagogue I had been to before, and though it was a very good service, it still didn’t seem right for us at the time. So, we didn’t go back, and I studied Judaism on and off for the next few years. The year I started working in Washington D.C., I started reading the Torah every morning and was starting to feel closer and closer to God. I firmly believe studying Torah helped to lead me on the right path and the Hamantaschen was just a sweet treat to keep me on that track. Once I found Aish.com, I knew that it was right – I had finally found my Jewish identity, the part of me that I always felt was there, but could never access. Aish’s articles were insightful, relevant, and always made me want to learn more. It didn’t take too long for me to want to learn Hebrew and I convinced my husband to join me in taking classes. We started with Beginning Hebrew at the Reform synagogue, then started to attend Friday night services with the new Rabbi there, and gradually our lives started to fall into place. We started lighting Shabbat candles, my husband bought me a Noah’s Ark mezuzah for our front door for our wedding anniversary, and we started keeping Kosher. Fourteen years ago, I tried my first Hamantaschen cookie and discovered the website that brought me back to Judaism. Now, we’ve become observant, keep Kosher, and have brought two daughters into a Jewish life and the oldest is now attending a Jewish day school. Last weekend we baked Hamantaschen together with our own recipe, but I will never forget those Hamantaschen that helped bring me to where we are today.
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Queen Esther Cleans for Pesach
Something was missing, which turned out to be myself
I
by Sarah Shapiro
knew from the start that the title of this would be, “Queen Esther Cleans for Pesach,” but the story’s execution was giving me trouble. No matter how I kept plugging away, the parts weren’t coming together. I had the beginning, I had the end. I knew what I wanted to say. But something was missing, which turned out to be myself. Purim was over and I wanted to get the story down in black and white before starting to clean. So I rescheduled an upcoming dentist appointment until after Pesach -- poor teeth, they’d just have to wait (not that they’d consider it a sacrifice) -- and that Monday morning at 9 a.m., was ensconced with my laptop in my favorite corner of a Jerusalem coffee-shop. With whipped cream and cappuccino, and with my back to the world, all the usual background noise would keep me from getting restless. The article, at that point, read as follows: As anyone who has ever cleaned for Pesach can testify, the three or four weeks leading up to the Seder Night provide us with myriad opportunities for losing our tempers, if not our minds. What is it about this season’s particular combination of perfectionist cleaning, spiritual aspirations, and overwhelming
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exhaustion that can turn us simultaneously into downtrodden slaves, like our ancestors in Egypt, and hard-hearted taskmasters, not unlike Pharaoh? The Ten Days of Repentance before Yom Kippur may well be Judaism’s traditional time for self-examination, but for some truly riveting encounters with our own worst selves, and greatly expanded powers for making everyone in the family miserable, the days before Pesach take the cake. Chametz seemed inappropriate here. I deleted the cake and continued on. But unlike our forbears in Egypt, whose suffering was painfully intensified by the fact that they
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themselves didn’t benefit from anything they accomplished, we in our times celebrate this Festival of Freedom in our own Jewish homes. The point I wanted to make eventually was that cleaning for Pesach without losing one’s temper can involve a real kind of heroism, not unlike Queen Esther’s. But I was finding it hard to bring it all together. We humans feel stirred by heroism, and like seeing evidence of it in ourselves and others. While we may react with envy to the successes and accomplishments of our fellow man, our involuntary response when it comes to heroism is – more often than not – to take a personal kind of pride in the other one’s deed. We ourselves feel ennobled by it, as if his astounding act of kindness, or selflessness, or generosity, his purity of spirit, his dignity in the face of insult, his idealism, his brav-My cell-phone rang. It was Lily, a close friend of mine from Manhattan who had moved to Israel in the 1990s. A profoundly gentle, dignified, wise, discrete, sensitive, insightful person, single and in her mid-fifties and loved deeply by her friends, Lily was in remission at the time from a life-threatening illness. “Can I ask you something?” she said hesitantly. “Where are you now?” “In a coffee shop.” “Oh. Look. Please be honest...tell me if you can’t...” She explained that something had come up with her immigration and she was getting a little overwhelmed. She needed help with some paperwork. It had to be someone who lived here and was familiar with this country, and she had to get it done right away. She’d tried everyone she could think of who didn’t work in the morning, but they were all either unavailable or hadn’t answered their phones. “I hate to bother you,” she said. “But the woman in the office there --” Was that Lily’s voice breaking? -- “told me to get it back to them by 5 or they might not be able to process my American social security in time for April.” Lily had always refrained, more than most people, from imposing on others. In our 15 years of friendship, it was the first time I could recall her asking me for a favor. My initial reaction was of course, come right now. Then I started thinking about the cleaning I really should have been doing at home...and the dentist appointment I’d canceled, all so I could get this story finished. I have no way of knowing what my tone of voice was but I said, “Yes, of course.” “Really? It’s okay?” “Yes.” Then she said that when I got there, I should buzz her on the intercom and she’d come down and let me in. I was taken aback. This was not what I expected. Would it be responsible of me or irresponsible, an act of self-respect or of selfishness, to ask her now to come to me, instead? My conscience instructed, Be to all as the dust, but America whispered in my ear: That’s going too far, it’s unnecessary. Respect yourself. You can be a helpful friend without ignoring your own needs. I said, “Lily, do you think maybe you can come here, to the coffee shop?” A moment of silence, then: “Where are you, darling?” “Never mind!” I blurted out, having distinctly heard in her voice that this was somehow problematic. “I’ll come to you!” But going there was problematic for me. Wasn’t that also legitimate? I hoped she’d say no, she would come here.
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“No, no, it’s okay,” she told me. “I’ll come to you. Why should you come all the way over here? Tell me where you are. I just have to get ready.” We hung up and I figured I had about a half-hour to get something done until she arrived. Back to the screen: We humans feel stirred by heroism, and like seeing it in ourselves and others. While we may react with envy to the successes and accomplishments of our fellow man, our involuntary response when it comes to heroism is – more often than not – to take a personal kind of pride in the other one’s deed. We ourselves feel ennobled by it. It’s as if his astounding act of kindness, or selflessness, or generosity, his purity of spirit, his dignity in the face of insult, his idealism, his bravery, were revealing something about us, and it’s thrilling. It serves as evidence of higher things in the outer reaches of our own human nature, which -- like stars on a sunny day – usually remain invisible in the course of our daily lives. Daily life – the term refers almost by definition to a humdrum business. When it’s not dark you don’t need stars. When there’s no great conflict to speak of and things are basically going along as you’d expect, there doesn’t seem to be anything that great to overcome. But if you’re walking along a beach one day and hear a drowning child’s cries, the hero within may come suddenly to life and before you know it, you’re leaping into the sea. Had the emergency not been sent your way – and this conflict of interest never arisen – your capacity for heroism might never have become visible. If the crisis had occurred but you’d simply not noticed, you would have missed your chance. With a fleeting gesture of self-erasure, you’ve transcended in an instant the imprisoning self-image of a lifetime. You, too, can soar. I liked that last line. Any flight (other than the kind that requires getting into an airplane) appeals to me. All that remained was to explain the connection between the various themes. Once again I began searching for words to convey that it’s precisely in erev Pesach’s capacity to bring out the worst in us that its power to liberate us lies; that it’s precisely when our goodwill and energy are at a low ebb that we can most benefit by going against
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the grain and behaving with dignity. Such opportunities to build ourselves are thrown our way day after day, constantly, all year long, but during the weeks leading up to Pesach, daily life is rich with them, and they’re more noticeable. The unique manner in which this season tests our behavior towards others is precisely that which makes it the year’s supreme chance to grow spiritually in
Cleaning for Pesach without losing one’s temper can involve a real kind of heroism. leaps and bounds. We can participate in Queen Esther’s rescue of her people on the miniature stage of our individual private lives, with the family and friends with whom we’re ordained to interact. If, under erev Pesach’s intense emotional and physical pressure, we still strive to be scrupulously careful with the honor of our fellow men – to treat those in our family as we would our friends, and our friends as if they were family -- then the external process will be an internal
one, too, and by the time our cleaning is done, it will be not only the closets that are in order but our minds, not only the windows that are clear but our conscience, not only the rooms that seem full of light but our hearts...not only the kitchens that have been “turned over” but ourselves. There’s an old saying: you can have home improvement or self-improvement – you can’t have both. In the tension-filled interlude before Pesach, however, the two are potentially one and the same. All the mundane practical details of daily life can serve as spiritual instruments of the highest order. If we have borne in mind the idea – while sentenced to four weeks at hard labor -- that it’s not only our arrival at the destination (of a clean house) which matters but who we become in the process...if we have tried to remember that the goal is to be as flat and humble as matzah – which means rising higher by lowering ourselves... then when we sit down at the Seder table with Hagadahs in hand, our joy will be in exact proportion to the difficulties we have experienced along the way to this moment. Transcending our small, limited egos will have been at least as high a priority for us as organizing the closets. We will have crossed the desert, and reached the Promised Land. *** I looked at my watch. More than an hour had passed. Hey! Where’s Lily? I was hit by foreboding. I dialed her number. No answer. I dialed her cell-phone. The voicemail came on. I left a message to please call right away, I was waiting. Five minutes went by. Ten. I tried both numbers. I kept trying, and was dialing again when my eyes alighted upon the computer screen. If you’re walking along a beach one day and hear a drowning child’s cries... Something dawned on me. ...the hero within may come suddenly to life and before you know it, you’re leaping into the sea. Shame and repugnance rose up in me sharply. I kept dialing. No answer. From the screen my words were staring at me, glaring at me. They slapped my face. The minutes piled up. I called Rabbi S., told him everything. “What should I do?” “Go,” he said.
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“Even though she’s not answering at home? Maybe it’ll just be a waste of ti—” “Go.” I rushed out to the street. My computer backpack weighed me down. There were no taxis. The ones that passed were occupied, and besides, traffic here was one-way, the wrong way. I started running. Running, running. Trying to shed the weight of my self-contempt. My hypocrisy was staggering. So easy to talk about what’s right. Just doing it that’s difficult. Running, running. I could delete this story. But if she wasn’t home, how would I escape myself?
WHATEVER...
*** Buzzed on the intercom. Buzzed again. Again. I knocked on the glass door. Knocked again. Out on the sidewalk next to her building, back in the sun, I started begging. Please, hashem. Please. Let me find her. Far off down the sidewalk, a little walking figure appeared, receding in the opposite direction. It was going farther away, getting smaller, and something about it brought Lily to mind. I started running. Could it be? Coming up from behind, I wasn’t sure -- the frail woman was so bent-over – but called out, “Lily?” She turned slowly and at first I couldn’t recognize her. Her face was ashen-grey, her eyes swollen and red. She’d been crying. “Why didn’t you come to the coffee shop?” I was out of breath. “Oh, it’s ok, mammele. I was too -- It was too much for me to go to you so I found one of the neighbors and she helped me instead and I’m just on my way back now to that office. I’m sorry I didn’t call to tell you. I wasn’t thinking. I just --” She looked as if she were on the verge of collapse. She delivered the document, then we went out to eat together, which appeared to revive her somewhat, and soothed my conscience. So...that’s how the story ends, though this is the second erev Pesach that has come and gone since our hour together at a restaurant downtown, and it’s only now that I finished writing it up. Lily’s faint, sweetly strained smile and startlingly gaunt appearance across from me at a lunch table are recorded in memory, and she died of her illness not long thereafter, but it wasn’t something I particularly wanted to write about, or even recall: how I did jump into the sea that day, but was a little late, and only saved myself.
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How Purim Taught Us How to Respond to Anti-Semitism by Slovie Jungreis-Wolff
Bond in unity and stand up as proud Jews.
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s anti-Semitic incidents rise at an alarming rate, I am listening carefully to the message of Purim. The Jewish people were frightened, faced with threat of annihilation. Haman’s hatred hung over the nation like a dark cloud. King Achashverosh told Haman “to do with as you see fit.” Letters were sent with permission to “destroy, to slay, and to exterminate all the Jews, from young to old, children and women…” In such dire circumstances who could keep hope alive? My mother, Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, of blessed memory, described being deported from her home in Szeged, Hungary. She was a little girl when the Nazis awakened her from her sleep. My grandparents were given just a few moments to get ready and then they were thrown into the night. German shepherd dogs were barking. There was shouting and screaming. Terrified, my mother stood in the street holding in her arms her favorite doll for dear life, the only thing she was able to take with her.
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The neighbors came and watched silently, gawking. My mother noticed her friend, Marta, the daughter of the non-Jewish caretaker of the synagogue. The two girls had always played together. Marta was standing there with her father. She approached my mother and for a moment my mother thought that
at least this little friend was coming to say goodbye. As Marta came close, she grabbed the doll. My mother began to cry. “This doll is mine! Give me back my doll!” “My father said I could take whatever I
want. You can’t keep anything.” Father and daughter looked at her, laughing. Then Marta’s father sneered, “You are a dirty Jew. And you need to learn the facts of life. Where you are going you won’t need any toys.” He spat on the ground. “But you don’t have to worry,” he added. “Marta will take care of all your things.” My mother was deported to Bergen-Belsen. How many times was the world ready to bid farewell to the Jews? How often have they vowed to throw us into the sea, to terrorize us, delegitimize our very breath and destroy our children? My mother’s transport was halted in Linz. They were loaded off the cattle cars. Heads were shaved. Amidst the sobbing, my mother found herself herded into a shower. They later realized this was also a gas chamber. My mother felt as if life had come to an end. She no longer felt as if she was a human being. She could not bear to glance at her beautiful mother who was shorn of all her grace and dignity. At that moment of suffocating darkness, something incredible occurred.
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My mother put her hand into her pocket and discovered a crumpled piece of paper inside. She pulled it out and carefully unfolded its fragile ends. It was a page from a prayer book. My grandfather had secretly placed the holy paper inside as a message to his little girl. The words of the Shema filled my mother’s heart with hope. The message was clear: No matter what happens, no matter where life takes you, know that you never walk alone. My dear child you are part of the Jewish people. God is watching over you; never lose your faith. There are times we search for G-d’s hand and feel despair. We long for clear vision. We cannot understand what is happening. It feels as if the presence of G-d is concealed. But we must know that beneath all the confusion there is a Divine plan. G-d is guiding us. We will survive. This is the message of Purim. It is Queen Esther, herself, who calls out to us until today. Esther is alluded to in the Torah with
the Hebrew expression “hastir astir”- I, G-d, will hide My face. There are times of darkness when we feel that G-d’s face is hidden. In the Book of Esther, G-d’s name does not appear. We may not always see or be cognizant of G-d’s hand in our life, but we need to know that His presence is guiding us, to pierce the veil of nature and search for the light behind the clouds. That terrible night when my mother was woken from her bed and cast off for deportation, Marta and her father likely believed that they were done with the Jews. The Nazis could never have fathomed that one day the Jewish people would walk through the streets of Jerusalem and wash the stones of the Western Wall with our tears. That page of the Shema sustained not only my mother, but an entire generation of Jews. We cannot afford to give up on ourselves. Let us never give up hope. Instead, let us embrace the words of Queen In times
of trouble, Queen Esther told us what we must do. She asked that we bond in unity, stop hurting one another, and join together in prayer. This is the time strengthen your Jewish pride. As we contemplate the rising antiSemitism that is spreading throughout the world, the hatred of the BDS movement and the threats to our land, we must take a moment to think. We have faced cruel enemies before. We have suffered through pogroms, inquisitions, crusades, Holocaust and murderous terror attacks. But we are still here, continuing to tell our unique story. Let us never give up hope. Instead, let us embrace the words of Queen Esther: “Go, gather all the Jews.” Become one. Reach out to someone with kindness. Make a difference in the life of another, even if it’s just through a good word or a bright smile. Say a prayer and stand up for the Jewish people. Together we can turn sorrow to gladness and darkness to light.
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CHANUKAH SPECIAL
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f you’d like to try something different and healthier than wheat pasta, oats, farfel, and brown rice, consider protein-rich quinoa (“KEEN-wah”). Because this grain is so mild-flavored and versatile, you’ll find lots of easy quinoa recipes to suit your taste. This roundish sand-colored grain has a mild, nutty flavor and light texture. Quinoa rates highest in nutritive value amongst the grains. It is the only grain that is considered a full protein, and is a great source of iron, all the B vitamins, phosphorus and fiber, yet quinoa is easy to digest and prepare. It is as versatile as rice or farfel and can be used in many dishes, from entrées to desserts, for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Quinoa is good served hot or at room temperature. It works well in pilafs, stews, burgers soups, salads and as a morning cereal drizzled with maple syrup. To cook quinoa for a pilaf or salad, you can use water or broth. For your morning cereal, try apple or orange juice. To make the cooked grains fluffier, first rinse and roast them in a dry non-stick pan over mediumlow heat, stirring until they become fragrant and pop. In about three minutes, when the popping stops, add the liquid, cover and cook until the quinoa is done, about 15 minutes.
A selection of great dishes to help you get acquainted with this healthy, versatile grain. Nature protects each grain of quinoa with a coating of saponin, a bitter, soap-like substance that acts as a natural insect repellent, so it is important to rinse quinoa well before cooking. Unlike other whole grains, the germ — the nutrient-rich middle layer of a grain — covers the entire kernel of quinoa. As quinoa cooks, the germ separates from the kernel, creating little white rings. When you see these rings, you know the grains are fully cooked. Here is a selection of great dishes to help you get acquainted with this super grain.
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Colorful Quinoa Tabbouleh Ingredients
Directions Bring the water to a boil in a medium saucepan, add the quinoa, cover, reduce the flame to medium-low and simmer for 15 minutes or until all water has been absorbed. Place the quinoa in a large mixing bowl and fluff up with a spoon until grain is separated. Add all remaining ingredients and mix thoroughly before transferring to a serving bowl. Decorate with some parsley leaves and olives
1 cup Quinoa, washed and drained well 2 ½ cups water 4 medium tomatoes diced 1 medium cucumber, peeled if waxed and chopped 1 cup fresh parsley, washed well and finely minced 1/3 cup fresh mint leaves, finely minced (optional) 1/2 cup pitted black olives 1/2 cup red onion, finely minced 1/3 cup lemon juice, freshly squeezed 1 Tbs Eden Ume Plum Vinegar (a salty liquid Preparation 15 minutes extracted from Japanese plums available in health food stores) Serves 8 3 Tbs Extra Virgin Olive Oil 4 ounces roasted sunflower or pumpkin seeds Cooking time 20 minutes
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Quinoa and pomegranate salad Quinoa is so versatile that it lends itself to sweet or salty recipes. Here it is presented with pomegranate seeds that are now appearing in local markets. Have this recipe in mind when planning your Rosh Hashanah menu. It is easy to make and it is nutritious as it is delicious! Special note: There is coriander also known as cilantro, in this recipe which has a sort of lemony taste. In my experience I found that people have an interesting relationship with this herb; namely either they love it or hate it. People hailing from Mediterranean countries appreciate it’s pungent taste, while those of Eastern European descent are not accostumed to it’s taste. Feel free to use your discretion when making this recipe which is great with it or without it.
½ cup pine nuts 1 pomegranate, seeds removed Small handful mint, chopped (optional) Small handful coriander/cilantro, chopped (optional) 1 lime juiced 1 Tbs extra-virgin olive oil Directions Wash quinoa very thoroughly. Cook according to package instructions (about 20 minutes) adding salt and garlic powder to the cooking water. allow to cool for a few minutes, then fluff up with a fork. Meanwhile, toast the pine nuts in a dry frying pan until lightly golden. Mix the pine nuts, pomegranate seeds, herbs, lime juice and 4 Tbs oil with the quinoa. Serve as is, or as a side dish to fish or chicken.
Furthermore, mint adds another dimension to the dish. I pluck some mint out of my backyard garden Recipe extra and use it sparingly, not to overpower the dish with the Feel free to add chopped dried apricots instead of the mint flavor. pomegranate. Or try adding some broiled shredded Ingredients chicken. 1 cup (150g) quinoa 1 ½ cups water ½ tsp salt ½ tsp garlic powder (optional)
Preparation 15 minutes Serves 6 NyBuzzMagazine.com I To advertise, call 718-513-9885
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Special Quinoa burgers Burgers are always ever so popular and sure to please all ages. Why not try these delightful quinoa burgers! Whenever I cook quinoa I end up making too much. This is a good way of using up leftover cooked quinoa. They are great served for lunch the next day!
Place first eight ingredients into a large bowl. Mix well with a wooden spoon. Add just enough pastry flour to hold the mixture together. If the mixture gets too dry, add a little water. Form 1-inch thick patties with wet hands.
Ingredients
Bake patties at 350 on both sides until golden brown.
2 cups cooked quinoa 1 cup minced onions ½ cup minced parsley 2 eggs 1 clove garlic, minced 1 tsp soy sauce 1 Tbs (homemade) mayonnaise Ÿ tsp. basil (optional) 2 Tbs sesame or olive oil (or what is available) 2 Tbs whole wheat pastry flour Techina Directions 50
Serve on lettuce leaves with red onion rings. Top each burger with 1 tsp. of Techina. Makes 8 medium sized patties Extra Note For a wonderful presentation put quinoa mixture into cupcake holders in a muffin tin. Bake an extra ten minutes on 400 degrees Fahrenheit or 180 degrees centigrade then serve one or two muffins per person. Preparation: 30 minutes Serves 4 to 6
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Creamy Quinoa Pudding Ingredients 1 cup Quinoa, rinsed 2 ½ cups Almond Milk 1/8 tsp Sea Salt 1 tsp organic sesame tahini 2 Tbs Maple Syrup 2 Tbs corn starch, dissolved in 3 T. cold water 1 Tbs pure vanilla extract ½ tsp nutmeg, freshly grated (optional) ½ tsp ground cinnamon 4 cinnamon sticks for garnish Directions
In a heavy saucepan cook quinoa, Almond milk, and salt until it comes to a boil. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Add sesame butter and Maple syrup. Mix well. Add corn starch, stirring constantly until mixture thickens. Add vanilla and spices. Top with your choice of chopped nuts, roasted seeds or fruit and a dash of cinnamon. Decorate with a cinnamon stick. Delicious warm or chilled. Preparation 5 minutes Serves 4 Cooking Time 0:25 minutes
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ƐƉŽŶƐŽƌĞĚ ďLJ ŽŶĞ ǁŚŽ ƐƵīĞƌĞĚ ŶĞĞĚůĞƐůLJ ĨŽƌ ŵĂŶLJ LJĞĂƌƐ used on Pesach; they should be put away with To diminish Pre-Pesach stress one must be aware The Chazon Ish (122:8) ĐŝƚĞƐ ƚŚĞ 'ƌĂ ŝŶ ƐƚĂƟŶŐ ƚŚĂƚ ĐƌƵŵďƐ ĐĂƵŐŚƚ ďĞƚǁĞĞŶ ƚŚĞ ŇŽŽƌďŽĂƌĚƐ ĚŽ that while ƚŚĞ ,ĂůŽĐŚŽƐ ŽĨ ĞĂƟŶŐ ŚŽŵĞƚnj ĂƌĞ the chometz���������������������������������� not to be EvenƚŚĞ if there areƐƚĂƟŶŐ many ǀĞƌLJ ƐƚƌŝŶŐĞŶƚ ƚŚĞ ,ĂůŽĐŚŽƐ ŽĨ KtE/E' ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ������������������������� ������������������������������ used on Pesach; they should be put away with To diminish Pre-Pesach stress one must be aware (122:8) ĐŝƚĞƐ 'ƌĂ ŝŶ The have Chazon Ishremoved. the chometz crumbs have to be removed or that the bentchers ĐƌƵŵďƐ ƚŚĂƚ ĂĚĚ ƵƉ ĐŽůůĞĐƟǀĞůLJ ƚŽ Ă Ŭ͛njĂLJŝƐ͕ ƚŚĞLJ ĂƌĞ ƌĞůĂƟǀĞůLJ ŵŝůĚ͘ ƚŚĂƚ ĐƌƵŵďƐ ĐĂƵŐŚƚ ďĞƚǁĞĞŶ ƚŚĞ ŇŽŽƌďŽĂƌĚƐ ĚŽ that while ƚŚĞ ,ĂůŽĐŚŽƐ ŽĨ ĞĂƟŶŐ ŚŽŵĞƚnj ĂƌĞ the chometz���������������������������������� and zemiros books have to be sold, even though chometz are problem halachically, they are not not havea to be removed. Even ifbecause there are many ǀĞƌLJ ƐƚƌŝŶŐĞŶƚ ƚŚĞ ,ĂůŽĐŚŽƐ ŽĨ KtE/E' ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ������������������������� ������������������������������ crumbs remain in them. The only rule is that they should be ĞůŽǁ ĂƌĞ dŽƌĂŚ ƐĐŚŽůĂƌƐΖ ĚŝƌĞĐƟǀĞƐ ƌĞŐĂƌĚŝŶŐ ĚƌŝĞĚ ŽƵƚ ĂŶĚ ƵŶĂƉƉĞƟnjŝŶŐ͘ the chometz crumbs have to be removed orbrought that thetobentchers put away so that they are not accidentally the table ĐƌƵŵďƐ ƚŚĂƚ ĂĚĚ ƵƉ ĐŽůůĞĐƟǀĞůLJ ƚŽ Ă Ŭ͛njĂLJŝƐ͕ ƚŚĞLJ ĂƌĞ ƌĞůĂƟǀĞůLJ ŵŝůĚ͘ ŽǁŶŝŶŐ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ĂŶĚ ĐůĞĂŶŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ WĞƐĂĐŚ͘ andPesach.) zemiros books have to be sold, even though chometz on are not a problem halachically, because they are (Notes in parenthesis and brackets are explanatory comments. crumbs remain in them. The only rule is that they should be ͞dŚĞ ƌĞƋƵŝƌĞŵĞŶƚ ĨŽƌ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ƚŽ ĂĐƚƵĂůůLJ ďĞ ƵŶĮƚ ĞůŽǁ ĂƌĞ dŽƌĂŚ ƐĐŚŽůĂƌƐΖ ĚŝƌĞĐƟǀĞƐ ƌĞŐĂƌĚŝŶŐ ĚƌŝĞĚ ŽƵƚ ĂŶĚ ƵŶĂƉƉĞƟnjŝŶŐ͘ Also, italics and bold are added for emphasis.) put away so that they are not accidentally brought to the table dŽLJƐ that will be used on Pesach should be ĨŽƌ ĐĂŶŝŶĞ ĐŽŶƐƵŵƉƟŽŶ (inedible to a dog) only ŽǁŶŝŶŐ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ĂŶĚ ĐůĞĂŶŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ WĞƐĂĐŚ͘ on Pesach.) cleaned with soapy water and checked. Other applies to a k’zayis.” (Magen Avraham; Mishnah (Notes in parenthesis and brackets are explanatory comments. ͞dŚĞ ƌĞƋƵŝƌĞŵĞŶƚ ĨŽƌ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ƚŽ ĂĐƚƵĂůůLJ ďĞ ƵŶĮƚ Z s , /D W/E ,K^ ^ , /E Z' ĂƚnjĂů, Also, italics and bold are added for emphasis.) Berurah). toys should be put toys should for Pesach dŽLJƐ that will be away. used Special on Pesach be ĨŽƌ ĐĂŶŝŶĞ ĐŽŶƐƵŵƉƟŽŶ (inedible to a dog) only ZŽƐŚ zĞƐŚŝǀĂ ŽĨ dŽƌĂŚ KŚƌ ŝŶ zĞƌƵƐŚĂůĂLJŝŵ, are recommended. cleaned with soapy water and checked. Other applies to a k’zayis.” (Magen Avraham; Mishnah taught the following: Z s , /D W/E ,K^ ^ , /E Z' ĂƚnjĂů, ���������������������������������chometz that is Berurah). toys should bewon’t put away. Special for Pesach ůŽƚŚŝŶŐ that be worn ontoys Pesach needs ZŽƐŚ zĞƐŚŝǀĂ ŽĨ dŽƌĂŚ KŚƌ ŝŶ zĞƌƵƐŚĂůĂLJŝŵ, bigger than a crumb yet smaller than a k’zayis? An • If, during the year, chometz is not brought into a are recommended. only a quick check. “Since they are not going to taught the following: example might be a pretzel, or half a cookie. “While ���������������������������������chometz that is place, that place does not have to be cleaned out be worn, that therewon’t is no be concern that one may eat ��������������������������������������������������� ůŽƚŚŝŶŐ worn on Pesach needs bigger than a crumb yet smaller than a k’zayis? An or checked for chometz. • If, during the year, chometz is not brought into a any are“Since there.they Smallare crumbs do not ��������������������������������������������������� onlycrumbs a quick that check. not going to example might be a pretzel, or half a cookie. “While place, that place does not have to be cleaned out • ������������������������������������������������ have to be removed since ƚŚĞƌĞ ŝƐ ŶŽ ƉƌŽŚŝďŝƟŽŶ things) are in a category of their own.” be worn, there is no concern that one may eat ��������������������������������������������������� or checked chometz. crumbs doesfornot apply ŝĨ ƚŚĞ ĐƌƵŵďƐ ĂƌĞ ůĞƐƐ ƚŚĂŶ to themthat during anyown crumbs are Pesach.” there. Small crumbs do not ��������������������������������������������������� These pieces of chometz (larger than a crumb ƚŚĞ ƐŝnjĞ ŽĨ Ă Ŭ͛njĂLJŝƐ [an olive] (around 1/2 - 1 ounce), • ������������������������������������������������ have toƐǁŝƚĐŚĞƐ be removed since ƚŚĞƌĞ ŝƐ ŶŽ ƉƌŽŚŝďŝƟŽŶ things) are in a category of their own.” >ŝŐŚƚ and ĚŽŽƌ ŚĂŶĚůĞƐ should be yet smaller than a k’zayis) should be removed. ĂŶĚ ĂƌĞ ĚŝƌƚLJ Žƌ ƐƉŽŝůĞĚ ĞŶŽƵŐŚ ƚŽ ĚĞƚĞƌ Ă person crumbs does not apply ŝĨ ƚŚĞ ĐƌƵŵďƐ ĂƌĞ ůĞƐƐ ƚŚĂŶ to own them during Pesach.” ������ ��� ������ ������ cleaned when necessary (Shulchan Aruch Harav; Mishnah Berurah) ĨƌŽŵ ĞĂƟŶŐ ƚŚĞŵ͘ These pieces of chometz (larger than a crumb ƚŚĞ ƐŝnjĞ ŽĨ Ă Ŭ͛njĂLJŝƐ [an olive] (around 1/2 - 1 ounce), we mayƐǁŝƚĐŚĞƐ touch Pesach the lawsshould forbidding >ŝŐŚƚ and food, ĚŽŽƌ and ŚĂŶĚůĞƐ be yet smaller than a k’zayis) should be removed. •ĂŶĚ ĂƌĞ ĚŝƌƚLJ Žƌ ƐƉŽŝůĞĚ ĞŶŽƵŐŚ ƚŽ ĚĞƚĞƌ Ă person The cleaning product (regular household cleanser) ĞĂƟŶŐ� �������� ���� ����� ����������� ��� ���������� �������������������������������������������������� cleaned when necessary ������ ��� ������ ������ (Shulchan Aruch Harav; Mishnah Berurah) ĨƌŽŵ ĞĂƟŶŐ ƚŚĞŵ͘ must spoil the crumbs (only) slightly, to the extent Pens, pencils, combs, and hair brushes which might heilige minhag�� � ��� ��������� ��� ����� ���� ��������� we may touch Pesach food, and the laws forbidding ����� ����� ������ �������� ������ ����� ��� ��� ���� ����� �������������������������������������������� • The cleaning product (regular household cleanser) energy to areas that our Pesach food and our hands ĞĂƟŶŐ� �������� ���� ����� ����������� ��� ���������� �������������������������������������������������� category.). 2 must spoil the crumbs (only) slightly, to the extent (This helps prevent the will touch/contact Pens, pencils, combs, and hair brushes which might heilige minhag�� � ���ŽŶ WĞƐĂĐŚ ��������� .��� ����� ���� ��������� ZĂďďŝ ĂƌĐůĂLJ ĂŶĚ ZĂďďŝ :ĂĞŐĞƌ͕ authors of the possibility of ĞĂƟŶŐ ĂŶLJ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj WĞƐĂĐŚ. And while ����� ����� ������ �������� ������ ����� ��� ��� ���� ����� �������������������������������������������� ĂƌƉĞƚƐ������������������������������������������� energy to areas that our PesachŽŶ food and our hands Guideline Halacha Series, write that there are this is true, give careful note to the following paragraph.) category.). ƐŝŶĐĞ ĂŶLJ ƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐ ĐƌƵŵďƐ ĂƌĞ ŶŽƚ Įƚ ĨŽƌ ĞĂƟŶŐ͘ will touch/contact ŽŶ WĞƐĂĐŚ2. (This helps prevent the two the authors possession of ZĂďďŝ mitzvos ĂƌĐůĂLJ connected ĂŶĚ ZĂďďŝ to :ĂĞŐĞƌ͕ of the possibility of ĞĂƟŶŐ ĂŶLJ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ŽŶ WĞƐĂĐŚ. And while ĂƌƉĞƚƐ������������������������������������������� chometz: dŚŝƐ ŵŝŶŚĂŐ ŵƵƐƚ ďĞ ƉƌĂĐƟĐĞĚ ĂĐĐŽƌĚŝŶŐ ƚŽ ĞĂĐŚ dŽĂƐƚĞƌ: Since a toaster will not be used on Guideline Halacha Series, write that there are this is true, give careful note to the following paragraph.) ƐŝŶĐĞ ĂŶLJ ƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐ ĐƌƵŵďƐ ĂƌĞ ŶŽƚ Įƚ ĨŽƌ ĞĂƟŶŐ͘ person’s strength and energy. And only up to ������������������������������������������������� two mitzvos connected to the possession of • EŽƚ ƚŽ ƐĞĞ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj�������������������������������� where it does not take away from health, safety, ������������������������������������������������ chometz: dŚŝƐ ŵŝŶŚĂŐ ŵƵƐƚ ďĞ ƉƌĂĐƟĐĞĚ ĂĐĐŽƌĚŝŶŐ ƚŽ ĞĂĐŚ dŽĂƐƚĞƌ: Since a toaster will not be used on (Lo Yeraeh and Lo Yemotzei) and joy the Heilige Tov. And only up to the chometz utensils. The chometz pots do not person’sinstrength andYom energy. ������������������������������������������������� EŽƚ ƚŽ ƐĞĞ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj� ������������������������������� • dŽ ĚŝƐƉŽƐĞ ŽĨ ŝƚ. (Tashbisu) have to be scrubbed. Some have the custom to where it does not take away from health, safety, ������������������������������������������������ ��������� ������� ������ ������� ���� ��� ����� (Lo Yeraeh and Lo Yemotzei) check the pots for chometz. and joy in the Heilige Yom Tov. the chometz utensils. The chometz pots do not According to Torah law, it is enough to either get by husbands and children as an excuse for not • dŽ ĚŝƐƉŽƐĞ ŽĨ ŝƚ. (Tashbisu) have be scrubbed. Some ahave the custom to rid of the chometz, or to declare it null and void. helping the ������ house clean as ZĂďďŝ tozĂĂŬŽǀ Ğǀ ^ŵŝƚŚ, maggid shiur for ���������make ������� �������and ����shining, ��� ����� check pots for chometz. Our sages required reasons: wellhusbands as kosherand for Pesach. partfor of not the /ƌŐƵŶ the ^ŚŝƵƌĞŝ dŽƌĂŚ, explains: “The Gemara According to Torah both law, itfor is three enough to either get by childrenItasis indeed an excuse signature of Pesach to haveclean a home is extra����� ����� Ğǀ bedikas chometz ���� ����� ������ rid of the chometz, or to declare it null and void. helping make the house andthat shining, as ZĂďďŝ ����� zĂĂŬŽǀ ^ŵŝƚŚ, a maggid shiur for � •����������������������������������� �������� ������� ���� ������������� ������������ to annul the chometz. This requirement is not Our sages required both for three reasons: well as kosher for Pesach. It is indeed part of the /ƌŐƵŶ ^ŚŝƵƌĞŝ dŽƌĂŚ, explains: “The Gemara � •���� ���������� ������������� ���� �������� �������� �������� �������� ďĞĐĂƵƐĞ ĐƌƵŵďƐ ǁŚŝĐŚ ŵĂLJ ďĞ ƐĐĂƩĞƌĞĚ ŝŶ signature ������������ of Pesach to have a home���� that���������� is extra����� �����ŽĨ ����� bedikas chometz ���� ����� ������ lying around) � •����������������������������������� ������������������������������������������������� ƚŚĞ ŚŽƵƐĞ͖ ƌĂƚŚĞƌ͕ ŝƚ ŝƐ Ă ƉƌŽƚĞĐƟŽŶ ĂŐĂŝŶƐƚ Ă ďŝŐ �������� ������� ���� ������������� ������������ to annul the chometz. This requirement is not Yom Tov. ������������ �������� ���� ���������� piece of chometz. reason not worry In order that overlooked chometz be included. �������� � ••���� ���������� ������������� ���� �������� �������� ďĞĐĂƵƐĞ ŽĨ ĐƌƵŵďƐ The ǁŚŝĐŚ ŵĂLJ weďĞ doƐĐĂƩĞƌĞĚ ŝŶ lying around) about crumbs is that ƐŝŶĐĞ ƚŚĞLJ ĂƌĞ ŽŶ ƚŚĞ ŇŽŽƌ ������������������������������������������������� ƚŚĞ ŚŽƵƐĞ͖ ƌĂƚŚĞƌ͕ ŝƚ ŝƐ Ă ƉƌŽƚĞĐƟŽŶ ĂŐĂŝŶƐƚ Ă ďŝŐ May we all be zocheh to clean and prepare for “If the chometz is dirty, then only a piece that is they no importance to us are worry “selfYom Tov. piece have of chometz. The reason weand do not • In order that overlooked chometz be included. the Yom Tov of Pesach without excessive strain the size of a k’zayis (or larger) must be removed.” annulled” (Pesachim 6b).” about crumbs is that ƐŝŶĐĞ ƚŚĞLJ ĂƌĞ ŽŶ ƚŚĞ ŇŽŽƌ ��� ����be����� ����������� ����prepare ����������� May������ we all zocheh to clean and for “If the chometz is dirty, then only a piece that is they have no importance to us and are “self“If the chometz is edible, then even a smaller �����������������������������������������chein He explains further that the Chayei Adam (119:6) the Yom Tov of Pesach without excessive strain the size of a k’zayis (or larger) must be removed.” annulled” (Pesachim 6b).” ���������������� piece that one may be tempted to Above and���� help����� bring����������� the Geulah Shleimah closer. is of the opinion that one must clean crevices of ��� ������ ���� ����������� eat the mustchometz be removed.” “If is edible, then even a smaller ������������������������������������������������ �����������������������������������������chein A truly kosher and freilichen Pesach to all. He explains further that the Chayei Adam (119:6) ���������������� piececleaning that onefor may be tempted to ���������������������������������chometz in one’s ���� ����������� ������ ����the ��������� ����Shleimah ��������� ��� ������ Above and help bring Geulah closer. “Therefore, when Pesach one must is of the opinion that one must clean crevices of Elozor Barclay and Rabbi Yitzchok Jaeger, the authors of eat mustsmall be removed.” possession – but because we are concerned that remove pieces of edible chometz and large ������������������������������������������������ A truly kosher freilichen Pesach to all. Asked Guidelines – Over and Five Hundred of the Most Commonly one might inadvertently eat them”.1 pieces of inedible ���������������������������������chometz in one’s ���� ����������� ������ ���� ��������� ��� Smith ������ YƵĞƐƟŽŶƐ ďŽƵƚ WĞƐĂĐŚ (Targum Press)���� and ��������� by Rabbi Zev “Therefore, whenchometz.” cleaning for Pesach one must Elozor Barclay and Rabbi Yitzchok Jaeger, the authors of of Irgun Shiurei Torah. possession – but because we are concerned that remove small pieces of edible chometz and large The Pri Chadash (444-4) and the Igros Moshe (1Guidelines – Over Five Hundred of the Most Commonly Asked ŽŽŬƐ͗ Rabbi Barclay and Rabbi Jaeger also write one might inadvertently eat them”.1 pieces of inedible chometz.” L'aliyas nishmas Zeesl bas Press) R’ Tzvi, YƵĞƐƟŽŶƐ ďŽƵƚ WĞƐĂĐŚ (Targum anda”h by Rabbi Zev Smith 145) disagree with this stringency. that there is no need to check books, except for 1of Irgun Shiurei Torah. (cf. Radvaz 1:135; Machaneh Yisrael 10:) books that will be brought to the table. Those The Pri Chadash (444-4) and the Igros Moshe (1 ŽŽŬƐ͗ Rabbi Barclay and Rabbi Jaeger also write However, the commonly held custom is to follow 2 .͘͘ ႯႽჁႨ ႭႶႵႦႶ ႦႭႨႲ ႦႹ ႫჇႲႮႩ ႷႭႹ ႦႶႦ ႫႼႲႦ ႭႶႰႲႨ ჇႯႦ ჃႹႯ ჅႪႨ ႼჅ ჇჅႲႾ͘͘͘ L'aliyas nishmas Zeesl bas R’ Tzvi, a”h booksthere should be need eithertonew or well cleaned. 145) disagree with this stringency. that is no check books, except for ͞dŚĞ ŵĂŝŶ ƌĞĂƐŽŶ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ĞƐƚĂďůŝƐŚŵĞŶƚ ŽĨ ďĞĚŝŬĂƐ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ĂŌĞƌ ŽŶĞ ŶƵůůŝĮĞƐ ƚŚĞ �������������������������������������������easily 1 ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ŝƐ ŽŶůLJ ƚŽ ƉƌĞǀĞŶƚ ƚŚĞ ƉŽƐƐŝďŝůŝƚLJ ŽĨ ĞĂƟŶŐ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ŽŶ WĞƐĂĐŚ͟ (cf. Radvaz 1:135; Machaneh Yisrael 10:) books that used will be theshould table. not Those ĞŶƚĐŚĞƌƐ thebrought whole to year be Shulchan Aruch Harav (433:19) accessible places where crumbs mightisbetofound. However, the commonly held custom follow 2 .͘͘ ႯႽჁႨ ႭႶႵႦႶ ႦႭႨႲ ႦႹ ႫჇႲႮႩ ႷႭႹ ႦႶႦ ႫႼႲႦ ႭႶႰႲႨ ჇႯႦ ჃႹႯ ჅႪႨ ႼჅ ჇჅႲႾ͘͘͘ books should be either new or well cleaned. ͞dŚĞ ŵĂŝŶ ƌĞĂƐŽŶ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ĞƐƚĂďůŝƐŚŵĞŶƚ ŽĨ ďĞĚŝŬĂƐ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ĂŌĞƌ ŽŶĞ ŶƵůůŝĮĞƐ ƚŚĞ �������������������������������������������easily ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ŝƐ ŽŶůLJ ƚŽ ƉƌĞǀĞŶƚ ƚŚĞ ƉŽƐƐŝďŝůŝƚLJ ŽĨ ĞĂƟŶŐ ĐŚŽŵĞƚnj ŽŶ WĞƐĂĐŚ͟ Please clip share everyone experience true Chag Kasher V’sameach. ĞŶƚĐŚĞƌƐ used the whole yearand should not beto help Shulchan Aruch Harav (433:19) accessible places where crumbs might beafound. Please clip and share toNyBuzzMagazine.com help everyone Iexperience a true Chag Kasher V’sameach. To advertise, call 718-513-9885
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Practical tools that work, even when the honey spills everywhere.
8 Ways to Stop Yelling at Your Kids by Adina Soclof
I
t is that time of year again in Jewish homes. We’re getting ready for the most significant holidays of the year and it gets hectic. Our children seem to be underfoot just when our workload seems to increase. That’s when tempers flare and we unfortunately resort to the time honored parenting technique of yelling. Yelling isn’t fun for anyone. Children get insulted and hurt and parents feel embarrassed and often foolish losing it in front of their kids. Here are 8 ways to stop yelling at your children: 1. Take deep breaths: Deep breathing has been touted for years as the ultimate relaxer. Science has proven that it does work; it lowers blood pressure,
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silences the fight or flight response, and stimulates the nerves that trigger relaxation. It is easy, its quick and it works. 2. Take five:
your in law or treat yourself to a cleaning lady. You will be glad you did. 4. Talk yourself through it:
When we get angry, it is probably a good indicator that we need a little break. Go to the bathroom, or step outside for breathe of fresh air or just sit down and have a cup of coffee. Teach your kids this strategy, “I find myself getting angry, I think it means I need a break. I need a couple of minutes of quiet right now.”
When we don’t have help or we can’t take a break, give yourself a pep talk. “You can do this!” “Just a few more hours until bed time, I can handle this!” Parenting can feel like a thankless job. All our hard work often goes unnoticed. No one is going to tell you, “Good job, you swept up every last one of those cheerios!” It is times like this when we need to be our own cheerleaders.
3. Get help:
5. Be funny:
Yelling usually means we are overwhelmed. We cannot do it all ourselves, as much as we think we can. It’s tough to ask for help, but it needs to be done. Enlist your kids, your spouse, your friend your parents or
The best way to dispel an angry mood is to find the humor in the situation. Life with kids is messy. When the phone rings, the doorbell sounds, and one child spills his juice, and your other one is screaming
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about the fact that his favorite sweater is in the wash, it seems counterintuitive, but it can be that the only sane alternative is to laugh. When your child shmears themselves with tomato sauce or you find that your two-year-old got into your desk and now is covered in Post-its again, laugh, don’t yell. And for those times when can’t hold back and have to yell:
never listen! You are misbehaving!” Tell them what you want them to do: “It is bed time right now! It is time to get into pajamas!” Repeat as needed. 8. Be positive: Finally, you can yell something positive.
You can say, “I know you know how to listen! I know you can sweep up the crumbs like I asked you too!” “I know you know how to share! I know you both can resolve this problem with the legos peacefully!” May your New Year be filled with peace and calm!
6. Talk about yourself: If you’ve reached your limit and just can’t hold yourself back, then do it using “I” statements. For example, “I’m getting really angry right now! I need some quiet in here!” is much better than, “You guys are driving me crazy! Why do you always have to be so noisy!” 7. Don’t accuse, give information: Similarly, if you need to raise your voice, you want to give information instead of delivering accusations. Instead of: “You
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