Flatbush Buzz #94 March 26th 2017

See article on pg. 26

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M

A Simple Twist of Faith

by Leah Schiermeyer

any have asked me, “How did a country girl like you, a Baptist raised in the middle of the Oklahoma Bible Belt, become an observant Jew?” Well, it’s a very long story. It took ten years from the time my family and I left the Baptist church until we finally converted to Judaism. But here’s a glimpse into the story that forever changed my life.

Four boys and a girl, 1997Baptists believe that there is only one way to heaven, which is through faith in Yoshke. Only those who have true faith and manifest it in their lives will be “saved.” I was taught that true faith involved regular church attendance, a public profession of faith in the church, baptism, and of course, clean living. I believed that Hashem loved me and had a special plan for my life.

I lived my life according to Christian doctrine for the first years of my life. I married a good Christian man and was blessed with three beautiful sons. However, I arrived at a point in my life, at age 37, where I desired to have a closer and more mean-

22

ingful relationship to Hashem. I was not depressed. I just felt as though I wanted to be more committed to Hashem. I remember, as I lay in bed one night before going to sleep, praying , “Hashem, I really want to know You – whatever the cost. Whatever it takes, please lead me into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with you.”

Little did I know what was to follow.

Within weeks, my husband, a physician in the Air Force, was sent to a Continuing Medical Education Conference in San Antonio, Texas. He was accompanied by Reuvain Rossio, another Air Force physician.

Both our families were living in Dayton, Ohio, and we knew each other as former neighbors from San Antonio. During the two years the Rossios had been in Dayton, they had made a dramatic move towards more observant Judaism. It was a topic of excitement for Reuvain and because my husband was always open to topics of religion, a very lively discussion ensued while on the flight back and forth from San Antonio. Reuvain had recently attended a lecture by Rabbi Tovia Singer. He was so

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impressed by his talk that he purchased a complete set of his tapes, entitled “Let’s Get Biblical.” Rabbi Singer’s intent was to bring Jews back to their Biblical roots and strengthen their faith in Judaism. Reuvain invited my husband to listen to the tapes.

Bob agreed, thinking that not only would he find them interesting, but also a tool by which he could demonstrate the credibility of his own Christian faith and be able to explain to Reuvain why he still accepted Christianity as his own true faith.

The tapes were comprehensive and intense. To my husband’s surprise and dismay, he believed that the rabbi articulated Christian doctrine much better than many Christian pastors. Rabbi Singer raised many serious questions about the validity of the New Testament scriptures. He discussed, in detail, prophetic Christian scriptures and why Jews do not accept those scriptures. He talked about the Written and Oral Laws of Judaism and why Jews still view both of them as very important. He talked about many other serious concerns that Jews have with Christian doctrine.

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My son Binyamin (Dakota) celebrates his bar mitzvah, December 2010Bob commented to me that the rabbi had very valid – and troubling – points. My response was “Who cares what he says? I’m sure the Jews have some contriving way to explain away why they don’t believe. They have to. Don’t you see? They’re blinded! They can’t see the true messiah!”

My husband was steadfast in seeking the truth. I thought that I already had the truth and wondered why my husband was so confused. Yet, after much study and prayer, both by me and my husband, I had to resign myself to the fact that there were problems with Christianity.

Called into Question Realizing that my Christian beliefs might be flawed was traumatic for me.

Everything I had been taught was suddenly being called into question.

My first response was to talk to our pastor and close friends, but sadly, they either didn’t have any answers or were afraid to talk about it. Since rejecting Jesus meant an eternal hell of fire and brimstone to them, they didn’t want to risk the consequences of considering anything else but Christianity. I eventually had to share the painful news with my parents. The response was hurt and anger. I felt as though I had no one to turn to other than Hashem. I remember standing in front of my upstairs bedroom window and praying, “Hashem, if Yoshke is your son, then I don’t want to offend you, but if I’ve been deceived please let me know.”

My husband was a prominent Sunday school teacher, but after exposing our doubts about Christianity, we were painfully asked to leave the church.

Many questions arose such as, What do I teach my children? What do I do about the fact that they are in private Christian schools? How do we fit into any community now?

I didn’t know where to turn for answers, and on top of all that, I was diagnosed with bladder cancer. I was told I had three years to live, at most. (I’ve now been cancer free for over 12 years, thank Hashem.) It was a time of deep soul-searching and re-examination of my faith in Hashem.

The Air Force transferred us from Ohio to Oklahoma (my home state) for

24

two years, (where I gave birth to twins at age 40), and then to Colorado Springs, Colorado. During that time, we had very little connection with anything remotely Jewish. We learned on our own, but our self-learning left much to be desired.

However, while in Colorado Springs, we were introduced to Aish Denver by a rabbi friend. We visited off and on and were impressed with Aish, but found it difficult to

How did a Baptist, country girl like me, raised in the Bible Belt, become an observant Jew? make the trips back and forth to shul with young twins and restless boys.

At the Crossroads In 2001, my husband retired from the Air Force and we moved to Denver, into the Aish community, in an attempt to study more seriously and consider the

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possibility of conversion. Conversion was an intimidating possibility for me. Many things appeared quite foreign to me and to leave the “faith of my fathers” was a daunting thought.

Lori Palatnik became my dear friend, confidante, and eventually my Jewish sister.But as I continued to attend services at Aish, I began to appreciate the true beauty of Judaism. Lori Palatnik and her family moved to Denver approximately one month after we moved there. I began to learn with Lori and while she taught me many things about Judaism, she also became a “sounding board” for all the things that I didn’t understand and found challenging. She was a true friend and confidante and reminded me continuously that Hashem loves me for who I am.

I found the classes and participation at Aish refreshing and invigorating. Yet, I still remained non-Jewish for several years.

There was comfort in the fact that if I didn’t really want to commit to something Jewish, I could say, “Well, it’s okay. I’m not really Jewish yet.”

In April 2003, my husband lost his job at a local hospital in Denver. While I am not at liberty to discuss specific details, the fact that he was released the last day of Passover, and it was related to a complaint filed by a patient’s drunk grandmother spewing anti-Semitic comments, did not seem a coincidence. Because of the job loss, Bob and I were forced to make a decision about conversion and what was important to us.

Bob was offered an excellent opportunity back in Ohio, not far from where we once lived. The salary was literally twice the amount and the housing opportunities were much better there, as well. But the Jewish community was very small.

A decision had to be made. “What do you want to do?” Bob asked me. “Do you want to move one more time?”

The thought was tempting . . . double salary, beautiful houses, a pleasant location, and “surely we would make friends, wouldn’t we?” I reasoned. Did we really want to continue the pursuit of conversion, or perhaps concede that conversion just wasn’t for us? We could go back to eating all the non-kosher food we once enjoyed, not to mention the unlimited restaurants and cuisines. Our kids could play more sports, even on Saturdays and not feel guilty, we could buy a beautiful house at a much lesser price, and life could be much

easier for us in many ways. What was to be?

On the other hand, where would we ever find a shul like Aish Denver? The Meyers, the Palatniks, the Wasoskys -- what shul would ever have a staff like that?

And the friends we had made were genuinely precious. Did we really want to leave all that behind to start over, or perhaps, forsake entirely?

I was forced to confront myself with what was really important for me. Was eating non-kosher food and going to nice restaurants the most important thing in life? Was living in an extravagant home with a nice salary the ultimate pleasure?

Or, was having my kids be sports heroes a worthy goal for which I should invest hours of time and money? These goals were shallow and never had I realized it more than at that moment.

The decision was obvious. It was inconceivable for my family to leave the shul, our friends, or the commitment we had made towards learning about Judaism. Just as Lori had taught in her “48 Ways to Wisdom” class, that with much pain comes much pleasure.

A New Beginning During the summer of 2004, Bob and I requested a date for our conversion with Rabbi Greenblatt of Memphis. The date was set almost 10 years from the date we had the fateful meeting with the church members, asking us to leave the church.

Our second wedding day, December 2004As I prepared for conversion and the upcoming wedding, (as new converts, we would need to get married according to Jewish law) I experienced mixed emotions. I mourned for the relationship between me and my parents and how that would suffer even more. My parents were the ones who had given me life, raised and nurtured me, and now for this, my most important milestone, I could not joyfully share with them.

I could not even find the words to tell them that I was converting. I knew the pain was great for them and did not wish to inflict any more than I already had.

On the other hand, I knew that conversion was right for me.

Without it, I knew I would never be fulfilled in the way I desired. As painful or as different as it might have seemed for family or friends, it was still right for me and I had confidence that I was choosing the right path. So it was with that confidence that I continued my chosen path towards conversion.

As I walked down the aisle in shul to remarry my husband, accompanied on one side by Rebbetzen Lori Palatnik and the other

by Rebbetzen Chaya Meyer, I felt a tremendous sense of gratitude and joy. I admired both Lori and Chaya so much and felt incredibly honored that they would walk me towards my new chatan, groom.

As I gazed at Yedidyah, (formerly Bob), standing at the front of the shul, I could see tears in his eyes. I, too, began to cry, but this time they were tears of intense, indescribable joy. The shul was filled with our friends, standing in our honor, most teary-eyed, as well.

We had finally come home to our faith, our love, and our friends. We experienced the pain, and now we are overwhelmed by the pleasure.

Was the pain worth it? Yes, a hundred, million times yes! For almost 40 years, I searched for what would bring completeness, what would give me that relationship I yearned for so much with my Creator. For the first time in my life, I feel complete. There is an indescribable sense of wholeness. I feel as though I have finally returned home to a Hashem who is real, who hears my prayers, and loves me with an amazing unconditional love.

“Hashem, I really want to know you, whatever the cost. Whatever it takes, please lead me into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with you.” Be careful what you pray for.

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Giving and Receiving s t n e m i l p m Co

I

by Emuna Braverman

read an incredible idea the other daily – that just as we will have to make an accounting for all the unpleasant things we said but shouldn’t have, we will also have to make an accounting for all the kind things we should have said but didn’t. Wow! The obvious implication of this idea is that we have to be more zealous in looking for opportunities to praise others – our children, our friends’ children (especially to our friends), our husbands, our friends’ husbands (only to our friends!)

I think this idea could really be a life-changer. It could breed more connectedness and more community and undo some of the negativity that dominates our public – and sometimes private – discourse.

But there is another side to this notion. If we are running around giving our compliments, the other party must learn how to receive them, how to accept them in a kind and thoughtful way as opposed to a dismissive one. Wouldn’t it be ironic if we hurt people, not through our intended cruelty, but through our unintended inability to receive a compliment with grace?

If someone gives us a compliment and we don’t take it seriously, they feel diminished and you know who else feels diminished?

We do. It is a totally self- destructive behavior.

So the next time a guest tells us how delicious the cake we just served is, the correct answer is not “It wasn’t a big deal; it’s Duncan Hines.” The appropriate response is simply, “Thank you.”

The next time a friend compliments our dress, the correct response is not “I got it on sale” or “This old thing?” It’s simply

38

A small idea that could really change the world.

“Thank you.”

If someone says I love your house and the Art Deco tiles in the bathroom the ideal answer is not “We bought at the peak of the market and the recession started the next day” (which is true) or “Those tiles are all cracked and impossible to replace” (which is also true). The correct answer, yet again, is just “Thank you.”

It is not arrogant to accept a compliment graciously; it’s actually considerate and thoughtful. We are not being humble when we dismiss a compliment; we are actually being hurtful and denigrating the giver.

So we have our work cut out for us. We need to look for opportunities to praise those we love, to notice what’s unique and express our appreciation, to remark on what’s kind and thoughtful and, if the shoe is on the other foot, we need to accept the accolades (large and small) with a smile and a thank you. (We could even add “very much” if we’re really working on ourselves!)

These sound like small changes – and they are – and yet they could make all the difference in the world.

Reprinted from Aish.com

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Reduce Pre-Pesach Stress Through Understanding Hilchos Pesach

‫בס״ד‬

sponsored by one who suffered needlessly for many years

Diminishing Pre-Pesach stress begins with knowledge of this basic principle: The Halochos of eating Chometz are very stringent, but the Halochos of OWNING chometz are much less so.

Below are Torah scholars’ directives regarding owning chometz and cleaning for Pesach.

(Notes in parenthesis and brackets are explanatory comments. Also, italics and bold are added for emphasis.)

RAV CHAIM PINCHOS SCHEINBERG Zatzal, Rosh Yeshiva of Torah Ohr in Yerushalayim, taught the following: • If, during the year, chometz is not brought into a place, that place does not have to be cleaned out or checked for chometz.

• The general obligation to check for & get rid of crumbs does not apply if the crumbs are less than the size of a k’zayis [an olive] and are dirty or spoiled enough to deter a person from eating them. (A kzayis is around 1/2 - 1 ounce.)

• The cleaning product (regular household cleanser) must spoil the crumbs (only) slightly, to the extent that people would refrain from eating them.

Rabbi Barclay and Rabbi Jaeger, authors of the Guideline Halacha Series, write that there are two mitzvos connected to the possession of chometz: • Not to see chometz or find it in one’s possessions (Lo Yeraeh and Lo Yemotzei) • To dispose of it. (Tashbisu) According to Torah law, it is enough to either get rid of the chometz, or to declare it null and void.

Our sages required both for three reasons: • Our declaration should be sincere.

• We shouldn’t accidentally eat chometz (that’s lying around)

• In order that overlooked chometz be included.

“If the chometz is dirty, then only a piece that is the size of a k’zayis (or larger) must be removed.”

“If the chometz is edible, then even a smaller [than a k’zayis] piece that one may be tempted to eat must be removed.”

“Therefore, when cleaning for Pesach one must remove small pieces of edible chometz and large pieces of inedible chometz.”

Books: Rabbi Barclay and Rabbi Jaeger also write that there is no need to check books, except for books that will be brought to the table. Those books should be either new or well cleaned.

Bentchers used the whole year should not be used on Pesach; they should be put away with the chometz because they often contain crumbs and are difficult to clean. (Nowhere is it mentioned

that the chometz crumbs have to be removed or that the bentchers and zemiros books have to be sold, even though chometz crumbs remain in them. The only rule is that they should be put away so that they are not accidentally brought to the table on Pesach.)

Toys that will be used on Pesach should be cleaned with soapy water and checked. Other toys should be put away. Special toys for Pesach are recommended.

Clothing that won’t be worn on Pesach needs only a quick check. “Since they are not going to be worn, there is no concern that one may eat any crumbs that are there. Small crumbs do not have to be removed since there is no prohibition to own them during Pesach.”

Light switches and door handles should be cleaned when necessary (After we touch them,

we may touch Pesach food, and the laws forbidding eating chometz are most stringent, as mentioned.

Pens, pencils, combs, and hair brushes which might have some sticky residue might also be in the same category.)

‫בס"ד‬

‫איין תירוץ אויף‬ ‫אלע ‪ 4‬קשיות‪...‬‬ ‫איך האב מיר‬ ‫געקויפט א‬

‫גרינפעלד'ס‬ ‫טלית!!‬

‫אלע ציצית ווערן‬ ‫געקניפט דא דורך‬ ‫היימישע יונגעלייט‬ ‫ת"ח ויר"ש‬

Carpets: Vacuuming a carpet cleans it sufficiently, since any remaining crumbs are not fit for eating.

(which are identifiable things) are in a category of their own.”

Toaster: Since a toaster will not be used on Pesach, it is sufficient to remove loose crumbs by shaking the toaster well and putting it away with the chometz utensils. The chometz pots do not have to be scrubbed. Some have the custom to check the pots for chometz.

These pieces of chometz (larger than a crumb yet smaller than a k’zayis) should be removed.

Rabbi Yaakov Zev Smith, a maggid shiur for Irgun Shiurei Torah, explains: “The Gemara says that after bedikas chometz one still needs to annul the chometz. This requirement is not because of crumbs which may be scattered in the house; rather, it is a protection against a big piece of chometz. The reason we do not worry about crumbs is that since they are on the floor they have no importance to us and are “selfannulled” (Pesachim 6b).”

He explains further that the Chayei Adam (119:6) is of the opinion that one must clean crevices of crumbs within hand’s reach. This is not because of the prohibition to see or have chometz in one’s possession – but because we are concerned that one might inadvertently eat them”.1 The Pri Chadash (444-4) and the Igros Moshe (1145) disagree with this stringency.

However, the commonly held custom is to follow the Chayei Adam’s ruling and clean out all easily accessible places where crumbs might be found.

The Chazon Ish (122:8) cites the Gra in stating that crumbs caught between the floorboards do not have to be removed. Even if there are many crumbs that add up collectively to a k’zayis, they are not a problem halachically, because they are dried out and unappetizing.

“The requirement for chometz to actually be unfit for canine consumption (inedible to a dog) only applies to a k’zayis.” (Magen Avraham; Mishnah Berurah).

Rabbi Smith continues: What about chometz that is bigger than a crumb yet smaller than a k’zayis? An example might be a pretzel, or half a cookie. “While small crumbs are insignificant and are automatically nullified, these bits of food

44

(Shulchan Aruch Harav; Mishnah Berurah)

Extra effort in cleaning away chometz is part of a heilige minhag. In practice, we give the greatest energy to areas that our Pesach food and our hands will touch/contact on Pesach2. (This helps prevent the possibility of eating any chometz on Pesach. And while this is true, give careful note to the following paragraph.)

This minhag must be practiced according to each person’s strength and energy. And only up to where it does not take away from health, safety, and joy in the Heilige Yom Tov. Anything written above should not be used by husbands and children as an excuse for not helping make the house clean and shining, as well as kosher for Pesach. It is indeed part of the signature of Pesach to have a home that is extraspecial clean. The wholehearted participation— without criticism—of husband and children, makes a big difference and brings much joy to the Yom Tov. May we all be zocheh to clean and prepare for the Yom Tov of Pesach without excessive strain or fear, but with anticipation and happiness.

And, may our cleaning and preparation find chein Above and help bring the Geulah Shleimah closer.

A truly kosher and freilichen Pesach to all.

The information above was reviewed and approved

by Rabbi Elozor Barclay and Rabbi Yitzchok Jaeger, the authors of Guidelines – Over Five Hundred of the Most Commonly Asked Questions About Pesach (Targum Press) and by Rabbi Zev Smith of Irgun Shiurei Torah.

L’aliyas nishmas Zeesl bas R’ Tzvi, a”h 1

(cf. Radvaz 1:135; Machaneh Yisrael 10:)

2

... ‫תקנת בדקת חמץ אחר שביטלו אינה אלא משום גזירה שמא יבוא לאכלו בפסח‬ ‫עיקר‬...

“The main reason for the establishment of bedikas chometz after one nullifies the chometz is only to prevent the possibility of eating chometz on Pesach”

Shulchan Aruch Harav (433:19)

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Pesach Keep it Simple and delicious Gitta Bixenspanner n.d.

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Pesach is the most cherished Yom Tov. It is THE Yom Tov where families gather around the fathers table to hear the stories of how the Jews were taken out of Egypt and Hashem made all these amazing miracles for them like the plagues, the splitting of the sea and their miraculous journey in the desert which culminated in the ultimate revelation the giving of the Torah.

There Jews were galvanized and became one nation serving one and only Hashem. This is the time where the Masorah is given over from father to son guaranteeing the continuity of the Jewish nation.

Very often the grandparents will use this opportunity to recount the

travails they went through in their own lives. Rabbi Avigdor Miller ob�m used to spend a lot of time on the Hallel portion of the Seder and especially saying NISHMAS portion expounding on all the kindnesses Hashem did for His people from their creation to this day.

Lots of different customs are observed during these days. Every family has their own set of rules concerning what they do or do not consume on Pesach. Depending on their origin. Hence Sephardic families might consume quinoa or rice which Ashkenazic families would not consider.

Although today manufactures produce just about every conceiv-

able food item available all year in a Passover approved manner, many have taken upon themselves to use some restraint and keep to their original customs. Our family uses absolutely no spices at all aside from salt. Some families do not consume fish, others do. That is why the general rule is that we dot partake from another family’s food, to ensure that we are adhering strictly to our customs.

These recipes are geared to the general public thus these are just suggestions for those that do use any of these food items such as spices and various vegetables or fish. Please feel free to adapt these recipes to your customs.

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Baked Mexican Fish This fish is very flavorful and the recipe lends itself to any other type of favorite fish. In many home every meal starts with some type of fish. This one is easy to make and is very tasty.

Ingredients 4 tilapia fillets (1 lb./450 g) or any other favorite fish 1 tsp. paprika 1 tsp salt or to taste 2 tomatoes, thinly sliced 2 zucchini cut in rounds 1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced 3 cloves garlic, minced 1/4 cup homemade mayonnaise 1 lime, quartered 2 scallions 2 potatoes cooked and mashed 56

Directions Heat oven to 450ยบF. Place fish in 9 x13-inch baking dish sprayed with cooking spray; coat fish slices with a mixture of paprika and salt, lime juice and garlic powder.

Top with tomatoes, onions, garlic and zucchini slices; drizzle with mayonnaise.

Bake 15 minutes or until fish flakes easily with fork.

Garnish with sliced scallions or red onion. Serve with mashed potatoes.

Prep Time 15 min.

Servings 4 servings, 1/4 recipe (358 g) each

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Sweet Potato Toasts This recipe is certainly going to hit the mark as an all year around keeper, for those that are aiming for a gluten free diet.

Ingredients 3 cups parsley, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced ¼ cup raw almonds ¼ cup olive oil 1 teaspoon salt 4 eggs 1 Tbs olive oil 2 cups fresh endives 4 ounces feta crumbles (optional) 2 large sweet potatoes, sliced lengthwise Kosher salt, for garnish Directions Combine parsley, garlic, almonds, and olive oil in a blender and then blend until a creamy but not completely smooth.

Place sweet potato slices in toaster and cook on the

‘bagel’ setting or on the highest setting for 1-2 cycles until the slices are cooked-through.

While sweet potato is toasting, fry eggs in the olive oil according to preference (keeping the yolks intact).

Spread sweet potato toasts with olive oil, add ½ cup endives, then egg.

Sprinkle toasts with feta cheese and kosher salt flakes.

Serve immediately, eat, and enjoy!

Variation These sweet potato toasts can be topped with your favorite condiments such as eggs, avocadoes, apples, or nut paste etc. Your imagination is the limit!

Preparation 10 minutes Serves- 8 -10

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57

Crispy Roasted Butternut Squash and Hazelnuts salad Butternut squash is a winner in the Pesach kitchen, not as sweet as sweet potato but yet it has a pleasant taste and lends itself to many flavorful dishes from entrĂŠe to soup to side dishes. It is good just roasted plain or in a combination with other vegetable like the one bellow.

Ingredients 2 cups butternut squash, cut into ½ inch cubes 4 leaves Romaine lettuce torn in small pieces 1 Tbs olive oil 2 cups quartered potatoes 1 cup raw hazelnuts 1 Tbs lemon juice 1 Tbs olive oil

Place butternut squash on a roasting tray, toss with olive oil, roast 20 minutes or until brown and crispy.

Allow to cool.

Meanwhile, combine potatoes and broth in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to low and cover. Cook for 20 - 25 minutes, until cooked through. Mash it to a crumbly texture Toast hazelnuts in a pan until fragrant but not browned.

Crush the hazelnuts until they are rough halves and quarters.

To assemble layer crumbled mashed potatoes add butternut squash, combine with other salad ingredients, adding spring onions and hazelnuts at the ends.

Dress with lemon juice, olive oil, and salt to taste.

Directions Preheat oven to 350F.

58

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Grilled Steak with Mashed Potatoes and Sweet and Sour Cucumber Salad This delish steak gets rounded out with a super-easy sweet and sour cucumber salad.

INGREDIENTS Âź cup. vegetable oil 1/2 cup wine vinegar, divided 4 cloves garlic, minced 2 Tbs. freshly minced ginger 2 Tbs. honey 3 Tbs. oil, divided 1 1/2 lb. steak 1 tsp. sugar 2 Tbs paprika 2 large cucumbers, cut lengthwise, seeded, and thinly sliced kosher salt Sliced green onions, for serving cooked rutabaga or other mashed vegetable for serving DIRECTIONS In a saucepan, bring rutabaga and 2 cups water to a

boil, then reduce heat and simmer, covered, 30 minutes until tender. Add 1 tablespoon oil Remove from heat. Mash with a masher and season with salt..

In a large bowl, combine ½ cup salt, half the wine vinegar, garlic, ginger, honey, 2 tablespoons oil, and 2 tablespoons paprika. Pour half the sauce over flank steak and marinate 10 minutes. Reserve remaining half.

Make cucumber salad: In another large bowl, whisk together remaining wine vinegar, salt, oil, sugar, and some garlic salt. Stir in cucumbers.

Heat a grill or grill pan over high heat. Season steak with salt and pepper and grill 5 to 6 minutes per side for medium-rare. Transfer to a cutting board and let rest 5 minutes, then thinly slice across the grain. Pour juices into small bowl of remaining sauce and stir to combine.

Drizzle steak with sauce and garnish with scallions.

Serve with cucumber salad and mashed rutabaga.

PREPARATION 20 MINUTES SERVES 4

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59

Skirt Steak Simple and Easy Skirt steak is the latest trend in my neighborhood.

Everyone is nuts over it. It is actually not the most expensive piece of meat but when cooked right it is very flavorful. A meat lover’s delight.

Overcook it and it will become tough. Meat tends to be very salty so it is suggested that it be soaked for 30 minutes and the water discarded.

1 lb. skirt steak will feed four people so shop according to your needs.

Ingredients 1 large onion cut in slices 4 cloves garlic or garlic powder 2 tomatoes quartered 60

Directions Cut onions in circles put into a baking dish, Chop tomatoes add to dish.

Put skirt steak over it and cover well and bake for 1 ½ hours @ 350.

Preparation 20 minutes .

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Homestyle Beet Salad This simple and tasty Homestyle Beet Salad is all about...you guessed it, beets!

A healthy mainstay in our Pesach repertoire this easy beet salad is great for Pesach and all year around. It freezes well and can be prepared in advance.

Ingredients: 3 whole fresh beets peeled 1cup chopped onion 1 Tbs sugar 1 tsp salt 1 tsp black pepper (optional) 1 clove garlic, minced 1 cup red wine vinegar Directions Place peeled beets in a medium saucepan; add enough

water to cover. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to low and continue cooking 35 to 40 minutes, or until tender. Drain and let cool 10 minutes. Cut into quarters, then into 1/2�inch cubes.

In a small bowl, whisk remaining ingredients; pour over beets and mix well.

Cover and refrigerate 4 hours, or until ready to serve.

Note: When preparing beets, we recommend you wear disposable gloves so your hands don’t get stained.

Homestyle Beet Drink When Pesach comes we love this sweet and sour borscht just as a drink. Aside from the adults the younger generation has not developed a taste for it.

I cook up the beets peeled and add lots of water. When beets are soft we remove it from the pan, add sugar to taste and lots of fresh squeezed lemon juice.

This is our daily drink. Very refreshing.

Wishing all our readers a wonderful and meaningful Passover!

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69

Jewish Wisdom

on Raising My ADHD Son

by Maayan Meir

I

am the mother of that boy, the one makes teachers drink more coffee and take an Advil before they enter the classroom. The one whose mother sees the school number on the phone display and never thinks: Is he sick? Rather she just wonders: What has he done now?

Don’t get me wrong. My son is one of the most adorable children you can ever hope to meet: a bright-eyed, cheerful imp who is adept at charming people off their feet. He is also truly caring and generous.

Unfortunately, all these wonderful qualities can suddenly go into hiding and

70

all you’ll see in him is his severe case of ADHD. Before he got his diagnosis, his behavior kept baffling me. He was my first child and I was so proud of him: of his quick wit, advanced vocabulary, friendly demeanor…and yet I couldn’t understand him. How could such a smart child behave so badly? How could a child with a giving, loving nature bite a friend because of a silly disagreement? How could a child who hugged me so tightly defy me minutes later?

The ADHD diagnosis gave me the answer. As sweet and wonderful as my son

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is, he has a very hard time always behaving in the way we expect children to behave.

ADHD is far from being a disorder which only affects attentiveness; it is a disorder of executive functions. Children (and adults) with ADHD find it immeasurably more difficult to do things like self-regulate their emotions, plan ahead, or use working memory.

While there are many things that we are doing to help him (and yes, medication is one of these things) I used to worry almost obsessively about my son’s future. I needed to know what the likeliest outcome was for a child with the kind of ADHD

which made him stand out everywhere.

I read the statistics and the anecdata till my head hurt. People with ADHD are more likely to end up in prison… but they are also likely to be successful entrepreneurs. People with ADHD are involved in many more accidents… but they also demonstrate remarkable creativity. Some books and websites tried to tell me that ADHD was a terrible disability. Others tried to sell the idea that it was a tremendous gift. I didn’t know whom to believe. I didn’t know which of the pieces of information I found applied to my son. I didn’t have a crystal ball, but how much did I wish that I could see into the future and sooth my anxiety!

One day while once again letting worry get the better of me, I recalled a Talmudic saying I had read some years ago. “A person who is born under the astrological sign of Mars will have a tendency to spill blood… he will be either a surgeon, or a criminal, or a butcher, or a mohel.”

Think about it. How would you feel if you were given such a diagnosis: “Your child was born with a tendency to spill blood…”? Wouldn’t you be freaked out?

Yet the Talmud does NOT freak out.

A tendency to spill blood? Just another trait. And the one who has this trait can be average, righteous – or wicked. Just like any other person.

That was when the penny dropped for me. There is nothing inherently good or bad in my son – nothing inherently good or bad in any of us. We are given different traits, inclinations, capabilities. The only question is: what do we choose to do with them?

My son is not obedient by nature.

Unlike other children, he is not inclined to bow his head respectfully just because someone is older, bigger, or scarier than him. Is that necessarily a bad thing?

Too many of us, after all, spend our life showing respect and deference to certain people just because they are bigger, richer, or more influential. My son, on the other hand, is not likely to ever fall into that error. Yes, he needs to be taught respect and humility, but when he will show respect it will only be because he has internalized the moral duty demanding that. He will never show respect out of fear or inferiority feelings.

Or take his abundant energy. A child

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Each of us is given different traits, inclinations, capabilities. The only question is: what do we choose to do with them?

who can’t sit still in the classroom is disruptive to their teachers and peers, but life in general is not much like school. One should, of course, invest their energies in the right thing, but what a blessing it is to have prodigious energies and use them for the right cause! Think of it as doing good

with a racing car engine instead of with an electric bicycle engine. How often do we all wish that we could do just a little bit more? A person with ADHD can often do a great deal more – and without getting exhausted.

Even traits like rule-bending and boundary testing have their positive sides. There are rules which must not be bent and boundaries which will never change, but many things in life are more flexible than that. In many areas of life, every progress that has been achieved was due to people willing to challenge old assumptions and to disregard common wisdom. Many experts, for instance, believe that Albert Einstein had ADHD. It can definitely explain the fearless way in which he revolutionized physics. So what if something had been held true for hundreds of years? That alone would never be a consideration for most people with ADHD. I do not, of course, expect my son to turn out to be an Einstein. I have no idea what kind of person he is going to be – nor do I know that about any of my other children. But the Talmud’s message about traits has helped me to stop fearing the future so much. Yes, my son has unique challenges, because he has a unique set of traits. But none of this can determine his future.

Instead of worrying, all I should do is parent him as well as I can, pray that he will always exercise his free will wisely, and believe that he is capable of greatness – just like any other child.

Reprinted from Aish.com

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THE PERFECT G I F T !

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