Boro Park Buzz Sunday, October, 27 2013

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%RUR3DUN Sunday, October, 27 2013

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Volume 1, Issue 7

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131 <;39 2=6641F 72E. ‫בעזהי"ת‬

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Publisher & CEO:

Yossi Friedman

Editor-in-Chief:

Sarah Gold

Art Director: Photography:

Efraim Schnall

Shlomo Meyer , Istock, Shutter Stock, Big Stock

Rabbinic Advisor:

R. Lazer Zuckerman

Advertising Executive

Mindy Weiss

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Hi Everyone, We’re proud to bring you this week’s fabulous issue of The Buzz, Brooklyn’s only frum door to door publication! This time around, we’ve included a whole plethora of great reading material – from an in-depth expose on &LW\ &RXQFLO FDQGLGDWH 'DYLG 6WRURELQ WR D GLIĂ€FXOW discussion on the plight of agunos. We’ve inserted a healthy dose of humor in Homework Madness and an inspirational story about life after death, entitled “Behind Closed Doors.â€? For the best advice on shalom bayis, read up on the wise words of wisdom in 15 Ways to Stay Married for 35 Years! With Torah, news, recipes and political opinions, this issue of The Buzz is topQRWFK HQWHUWDLQPHQW DW \RXU Ă€QJHUWLSV

Mailing: NY Buzz Magazine P.O. Box# 190811,

Sarah Gold

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2013 Flatbush Buzz. All rights reserved. Contents may not be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the Buzz Magazine. All readers are invited to send their opinions by letter to the editor. The advertiser agrees to hold harmless the publisher for publication of submitted copy. Buzz Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors. We reserve the right to refuse advertising or editorial copy that we feel does not ďŹ t our policy. Advertising claims or kashrus of any product or establishment are not the responsibility of the Buzz Magazine. The opinions of each writer do not reect those of the publisher. The Buzz Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions.

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Torah PHOTOS

ACCEPT NOT EXPECT By Rabbi Moshe Shmiel Rottenberg

“Vayakam Avraham me’al p’nei meso.â€? Avraham Avinu came home from $NHLGDV <LW]FKDN WR Ă€QG WKDW KLV beloved wife Sarah was niftar. The Medrash tells us that the Malach Hamaves approached Avraham and told him, “You are the cause of Sarah’s death. If you would not have brought Yitzchak to the Akeida, she would still be alive.â€? Heartbreak over the loss of her son is what killed her. We learn two very important points from this incident, which the Meforshim bring out.

Lesson 1: One would think that after Avraham Avinu withstood all ten QLV\RQRV KH ZRXOG ÀQDOO\ JHW D break. After he came shining through each challenge and persevered brilliantly through each test, one would expect the Yetser Hara to ÀQDOO\ OHDYH $YUDKDP $YLQX DORQH Didn’t he deserve a break? Let the Satan go pick on someone weaker, who hadn’t yet proven his worth in Hashem’s eyes! But that is not the way of the Yetser Hara. He is always on our case, even when we do mitzvos and behave well. The Satan never lets up. Even after Avraham reached such a high madreiga, the evil inclination still tried his best to ensnare him. We all have tests that the Yetser Hara puts us through. Many times,

we do manage to stand up to him and win the battle over evil. But then, when we overcome a nisayon, we expect to get a vacation. We expect that once we withstand the urge to sleep late and instead get up in time

One would expect the Yetser Hara to ďŹ nally leave Avraham Avinu alone. Didn’t he deserve a break?

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for minyan, the Yetser Hara will leave us alone. We expect that if we overcome the impulse to cheat, steal, gamble or get drunk, the Yetser Hara will turn on someone else. We expect that if we have a desire to see unclean images but instead shield our eyes from impurity, the Yetser Hara will try his luck elsewhere. Because of that expectation, we get depressed and disheartened when that same nisayon comes right back to us the next day. We thought we already conquered that taava, so why doesn’t the Satan cut us some slack? The answer is that just like by Avraham Avinu, we have to learn not to expect any menucha. There are no spiritual vacations in this world. Every day is another chance to conquer the Yetser Hara, and to ÀJKW DJDLQVW RXU GHVLUHV RQFH DJDLQ In fact, the higher madreiga a person reaches, the more the Yetser Hara runs after him.

Lesson 2: The second very important message we learn from this incident is that everything good in life is a gift, not a given. When we work hard to better ourselves and bring ourselves closer to Hashem, that doesn’t mean Hashem owes us a reward. When we experience a tragedy or a hardship and we undertake certain mitzvos in order to improve our fate, that doesn’t mean we can expect Hashem

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to automatically withdraw the challenge. We sometimes erroneously feel that if we are good, we ‘have a right’ to receive goodness in return. But Hashem’s cheshbonos don’t

There are no spiritual vacations in this world. necessarily match our own. We get very disappointed when we do teshuva for our bad deeds, and not only doesn’t our situation change for the better, sometimes it even gets worse. We feel like that’s unfair. If I’m behaving, why isn’t Hashem compensating me?! But the same thing happened to Avraham Avinu. He came home from WKH $NHLGD IHHOLQJ KDSS\ DQG IXOÀOOHG He’d just withstood the greatest nisoyon ever! He deserved a party, but instead he was greeted with tragedy. Still, we know that it never entered Avraham’s mind to have any doubts about the ways of Hashem. Avraham unhesitatingly accepted his lot, because he understood that only Hashem knew what was best for him. Avraham Avinu never asked for a reward or a reprieve. He accepted that Hashem’s cheshbonos are beyond the understanding of man. And like Avraham Avinu, we too should never expect. We should only accept. Rabbi Rottenberg has many years of experience as a mechanech and a mediator. He is available to learn with and mentor bochurim, to arbitrate disputes and to discuss life issues with couples. He can be reached at: 347-5332299.

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Pizza Nosh

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LET’S DISCUSS IT

THE PLIGHT OF AGUNOS By Malky Schwartz

T

he plight of agunos is one of many great problems facing Jewry today. Technically - an Agunah is a married woman whose husband has disappeared and who does not know if her husband is alive or dead. She thus retains her presumption of being a married woman and is not allowed to get remarried. Proof of her husband’s death is required. If an Agunah does remarry, she technically and thus violates one of the three cardinal sins of the Torah. The term Agunah as commonly used today refers to a married woman who knows her husband is alive. The relationship with him has been terminated but they remain Halachically married to each other because of his refusal to give her a Get – a religious divorce. She too may not remarry. In both cases (i.e. a woman who does not know if her husband is alive, and in this one) doing so would violate the cardinal principle of violates the cardinal sin and their children would be Mamzerim. A man in the same situation has a way out. If his wife refuses to accept the Get, he can remarry under certain

circumstances. On a biblical level, a woman may not have more than one husband, but a man may have more

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Beating the husband with a rod will get him to realize the error of his ways and do the right thing by willingly giving a Get than one wife. Although there is over a millennia-old rabbinic prohibition

on a man doing so (called Cherim D’Rabbenu Gershom) exceptions are made under some circumstances. 100 rabbis can technically permit a married man to marry another woman. This is called a Heter Meah Rabbanim. Women do not have this option. Thus, they end up in dire straits with no recourse if their husbands refuse to give a Get. Batei Din (Jewish courts) who understand the legitimate plight of the Agunah have tried various ways to help these women by trying to convince the recalcitrant husband to change his mind. These husbands are strongly pressured via being ostracized from their community - or even by being jailed. Sometimes that works. But in far too many cases there are men who are so vengeful about their wives leaving the marriage that they refuse to give a Get out of spite. In order to hurt their wives, they are willing to suffer. There is nothing that can be done at this point. Halacha tells us that a husband must willingly give a Get. If he is somehow forced to do so against his will, the Get is invalid. This is called a Get Meusa (forced Get). They remain married – thus leaving

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the wife an Agunah. What constitutes force is a matter of debate. The Rambam (Nashim 2:20) states that if a man refuses to give his wife a Get, Beis Din should beat him with a rod until he says ‘I want to give it!’ That formulation is very important. Because the husband must want to give the Get. He may not say “I don’t want to give the Get but I am being forced to.” The resulting Get would be invalid. The idea behind the Rambam is that beating the husband with a rod will get him to realize the error of his ways and do the right thing by willingly giving a Get. The question in our day is, how we can possibly know whether he has really changed his mind or is simply trying to avoid further punishment? Unfortunately, this rather unfair situation has some unscrupulous people taking advantage of it. Agunos have no way out and therefore EHFRPH MXVWLÀDEO\ GHVSHUDWH WR change their unmarriageable status. And this has once again led to another tremendous Chilul Hashem involving a respected Rosh Yeshiva. NY Times: An FBI raid on a yeshiva late Wednesday resulted in four arrests, including three rabbis who are charged with pressuring Orthodox Jewish men into granting religious divorces to their wives in exchange for money. A source close to the investigation said that the ring involved Orthodox wives seeking divorce making payments to the rabbis—-in some cases up to $100,000—-who then facilitated the divorce, often through violent means, with the rabbis hiring thugs to beat the Orthodox Jewish husbands into agreement. A Get Meusa is invalid. If descriptions in the media are accurate, this Rosh Yeshiva not only committed a Chilul HaShem, but is responsible for the Mamzer status of all children that are products of it. 20 years’ worth of them, it appears.

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MIRACLES

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS By Malky Schwartz

M

ost people are so out of touch with life in this world that they think it’s crazy to speak of life on the Other Side. But it isn’t. There’s life in this world and the next. According to mesora, while Heaven is more pure, life in this world is the central focus. Men come here to be À[HG DQG PDGH ZKROH :RUG KDV LW that the Tzaddikim run both worlds. Essentially, they run the whole show. The Heavenly Court is governed by Tzaddikim who have died recently. They replace other righteous men, Tzaddikim who’ve been in Heaven too long to remember the reality of struggle in this world. Once Rav Michel Zlotchever passed away, he was called to judge on the Heavenly Court. As soon as he took his place, he came down harshly on all those he had to review. “How could you do such wrong?” he yelled at them. Finally, one of the Tzaddikim on earth realized what was happening and began to complain: “You can’t appoint, as a judge, a man who has never sinned! What does the Zlotchever know of the hardships of Moishe the Water Carrier? He comes from a family that for thirteen generations made no mistakes. “ The worldly Tzaddikim protested his severity so much that it was ÀQDOO\ GHFUHHG WKDW WKH =ORWFKHYHU

would be retired and the Tzaddik ZKR KDG ÀUVW FRPSODLQHG VKRXOG take his place. The decree went out just before Shabbos. The Tzaddik on earth barely had enough time to say good-bye to his wife.

A soul who needs fixing has to come back into the world and look for a Tzaddik to help him. Judging is done in Heaven , but À[LQJ WDNHV SODFH LQ WKLV ZRUOG sometimes before the Judgment, sometimes after. We are speaking KHUH RI À[LQJ WKH VRXOV RI WKRVH ZKR have left this world. Judging will determine whether you go to Gan Eden or Gehinnom, whether you are permitted to come back to life. But if

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the merchandise is damaged, it’s not a question of Paradise or reincarnation. The vessels are broken. They need to be mended and made whole again. This kind of repair doesn’t take place in Heaven. Nor can we do it ourselves. $ VRXO ZKR QHHGV À[LQJ KDV WR come back into the world and look for a Tzaddik to help him. Naturally, if he was close to one while he was alive he will have no problem, because his soul is still attached to that Tzaddik. But what happens to a person who was never attached to a Tzaddik during his lifetime? This story illustrates how his ‘mending’ takes place. Everybody knows that the Trisker Maggid, Rav Avromole, was one of the eight sons of Reb Motele Chernobyl who was mamash a Tzaddik gadol. Rav Motele was the center of all the Tzaddikim. He took care of the living and the dead and was the master of the lamed-vav Tzaddikim, the Thirty-Six Righteous Men who hold up the world. Before he passed away, Reb Motele divided his kingdom among his children and put the Trisker Maggid in charge of the people from the Other Side. Rav Avromole lived like this. Eight o’clock in the morning he’d get up, go to the mikveh, and daven. Two o’clock in the afternoon, he would start to yawn. “I’m so tired; I’ve got to lie down a little bit.” He’d

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MIRACLES go to his room until three, then pray both afternoon and evening prayers. Ten o’clock at night he might start yawning again. “I’m so tired. I’ve got to go back to my room.â€? The fact of the matter is that the Trisker Maggid never ate and never slept. He also never kept any books in his room, because - as everybody knows - when he closed the door to his room he was dealing with souls from the Other World who needed Ă€[LQJ People from the Other Side are not able to read Torah. In order to avoid making them feel bad, the Trisker Maggid never permitted books in his room. If he found one, he put it out. The Trisker Maggid once came to a village where only one yidele had enough room in his house to accommodate the Rebbe and his chasidim. But this man was a real misnagid. He had heard many stories from his fellow misnagdim and was suspicious of the rumor that the Trisker Maggid never slept and never ate. “Eating I can believe. He may not need to eat. But he doesn’t even keep a sefer in his room, so you can’t tell me he isn’t up there napping!â€? This wealthy yidele was more than happy to have the Trisker Maggid as his guest, because it would give him a chance to prove what Rav Avromole was doing behind closed doors. “He’s snoring, I’m sure. “ While the Trisker Maggid was davening Maariv, the yidele managed to get into Rav Avromole’s room and to hide under the bed. At ten o’clock, the Trisker Maggid said to his chasidim, “I have to go back to my room.â€? The rich yidele heard Rav Avromole come into the chamber and felt him sit down on the bed. No sooner had the chasidim closed the door to give the Rebbe a little privacy when it seemed to open again. A crowd pushed their way

into the room. The man could hear WKH VKXIĂ H RI IHHW WKH PXUPXULQJ RI appeals. During the day, the host had already witnessed the Trisker Maggid’s audiences with ten, maybe even thirty people, at a time. But this sounded like thousands. What was happening? Where were all these people coming from? How could there even be a place for them in this little bedroom? During the day, people would complain: “Rabbi! I’m sick. Please cure my back.â€? “I need money for my EXVLQHVV Âľ ´3OHDVH Ă€QG D ZLIH IRU P\ son.â€? But by night, the people were saying, “Rebbe! I’m so broken! They won’t let me into Gan Eden. They won’t let me into Gehinnom. All I can GR LV ZDQGHU 5HEEH SOHDVH Ă€[ P\ soul.â€? The worst was that the misnagid heard so many voices in the room. But when he peeked out from underneath the bed, he couldn’t see any feet. The yidele was so frightened that he was shaking and had to do his best to keep his teeth from chattering. Suddenly, he heard another, different voice cry out: “Rebbe! Have compassion on my tormented neshamah. Fix me! Fix my soul!â€? “What can I do for you?â€? the Trisker Maggid asked. “While you were alive, you never bothered to come to me. You didn’t even give me one penny tzedakah, one penny for charity, to connect yourself to me. So how can I help you now?â€? “There must be a way!â€? The poor soul pleaded with the Rebbe, from a place of deep anguish. “Actually, there is one way. Your neighbor, Shmuelik, was one of my chasidim. Shmuelik gave me a great deal of charity during his lifetime. If he were to tell me now that one penny of the riches he gave as tzedakah was IRU \RX WKHQ , FRXOG Ă€QG D ZD\ WR

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help you.â€? “Shmuelik would do that for me, I’m sure.â€? “Fine! Then I want you to go and ask him!â€? “How can I do that? He won’t believe that I come from you.â€? “Then I’ll send somebody along to act as your witness.â€? At this point, the Trisker Maggid gave a strong, swift kick under the bed and said to the yidele: “Come out!â€? When the yidele realized that the Trisker Maggid was about to send him into the Other World as witness to an exchange between two souls, he began pleading from under the bed. “Please, Rebbe! Don’t do this to me! I promise I won’t tell anybody what I saw!â€? “Come out!â€? The yidele came out, crawling on his stomach. He was crying, screaming, clinging to the Rebbe’s feet. “Please, Rebbe! You’ve seen! I have a wife and three children. I don’t want to die yet. I’m not ready to die!â€? “G-d forbid you should die. But if you’re going to spy on me, you must go as my witness. Take my stick and walk with the soul of this man to the cemetery.â€? The yidele looked around. The greatest nightmare of all was that there was absolutely no one else in the room, only himself and the Trisker Maggid. ´.QRFN RQ WKH Ă€UVW JUDYH LQ WKH second row and say that Avrohom ben Channah orders Shmuel ben 5LYNDK WR JLYH RQH SHQQ\ WR Ă€[ WKH neshamah of this Yid - Yosele, his neighbor.â€? And so it was that the yidele procured a tikkun for the neshama of Yosele. And he gleaned a precious insight into the workings of the Other World.

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PUZZLING PUZZLES

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Challenge Yourself

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INSIGHTS AND INTERESTS

15 WAYS TO STAY MARRIED FOR

35 YEARS

T

RGD\ LV P\ WKLUW\ Ă€IWK wedding anniversary. I really love Dan, and I am proud of how awesome our marriage is. We certainly haven’t killed each other yet. In fact, we haven’t even maimed each other. We have not always been perfect, but we have six cool kids. For two people as different and disparate as Dan and I are, staying together this long is a big accomplishment. When Dan and I got married, we were 20 years old. Now, we’re staring down the barrel of 60. Looking back, I’m sometimes surprised we didn’t self-destruct. Now that we are older, we are perhaps also wiser. Here are the things we have learned over the years that helped us stay married and even happy for 35 years. Our list does QRW UHVHPEOH WKH RQHV \RX¡OO Ă€QG LQ standard shalom bayis classes. We have never had a regular date night, nor do we prioritize “communicationâ€? or play games or see a therapist. +H GRHVQ¡W EULQJ PH Ă RZHUV HYHU\ Thursday and I don’t cook his favorite food very often. But we do have some other ideas.

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1

GO TO BED MAD. The old maxim that you shouldn’t go to bed mad doesn’t work in every case. Sometimes you need to just go to bed! Whoever interpreted that phrase to mean you should stay up after midnight, tear-stained and petulant, trying to iron out some kind of overtired peeve- was wrong. Stop talking, go to bed, let your husband get some sleep. In the morning, eat some pancakes. Everything will seem better, I can assure you.

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LAUGH IF YOU CAN ,Q DQ\ Ă€JKW WKHUH LV RQH SHUVRQ who is really mad, and one person who isn’t that mad. That less-mad SHUVRQ VKRXOG GHĂ HFW WKH Ă€JKW 0DNH a joke, do something stupid or corny, make the other person laugh. If the Ă€JKW LV YHU\ VHULRXV IRU \RX DQG \RX feel like you really want to plant your Ă DJ DQG GLH RQ WKLV KLOO Ă€QH 'R LW %XW LI \RX¡UH Ă€JKWLQJ IRU HQWHUWDLQPHQW

or because you’re just reacting, then \RX EH WKH RQH WR GHà HFW )LJKWV DUH EDG 'Hà HFWLQJ D ÀJKW ZKHQHYHU possible is a good idea. When you’re the one who’s being stubborn and the other person helps you get out of it and brings about peace, that feels fantastic. This was a hard lesson for PH WR OHDUQ /HWWLQJ 'DQ GHà HFW D ÀJKW LV WKH EHVW WKLQJ QRZ +H GRHV it really well.

3

DON’T CRITICIZE EVER Here is a fact: Whatever critical thing you are about to say to your wife is already being loudly articulated in her head. And if it’s true, she already feels terrible about it. Assuming you married someone intelligent enough to like you and sane enough to let you SXW D ULQJ RQ KHU Ă€QJHU WUXVW WKDW VKH is self-aware enough to know when she messed up. It may feel good to you in that moment to say the critical thing, let it go ringing through the air in all its sonorous correctness, but it will feel awful to hear it. The RQO\ RQO\ ZD\ LW¡V EHQHĂ€FLDO WR JLYH your wife criticism of any kind is

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if you’re absolutely positive she is completely unaware. And you better ÀQG WKH QLFHVW NLQGHVW ZD\ SRVVLEOH to tell her. And even then, good luck convincing her. The recognition of the thing you are helpfully trying to point out will be INHIBITED, not facilitated, by your criticism. So be careful.

4

BE THE MIRROR. Your husband is the mirror in which you see yourself. And the things you say to him give him an image of himself too, which he will believe. You want him to believe it, so PDNH LW JRRG %H D PLUURU WKDW UHà HFWV something positive: you’re smart, you’re successful, you’re fantastic, you’re a great provider, you’re the best. Can you MAKE him any of these things just by telling him he is? I don’t know, but consider this: the alternative is really bad. The things my husband says to me are 1,000 times more convincing than anyone else’s opinion on earth. Don’t think he won’t believe you because you’re married and you’re contractually obligated to say nice things. He’ll believe the ugly, insulting things you say and the gloriously positive things. So praise him!

5.

BE PROUD AND BRAG. Let your spouse hear you talking about him in glowing terms to other people. Be foolish. Be obvious. It will mean everything. You will stay married forever.

THE OLD MAXIM THAT YOU SHOULDN’T GO TO BED MAD DOESN’T WORK IN EVERY CASE. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO JUST GO TO BED! nor does he even read the books that I write. Seriously. And I don’t care. My opinion is that he’s the fastest, coolest, most awesome bike racer ever. His opinion is that I’m the bestest, coolest writer ever. We don’t have to know all about cycling or writing in order to form these opinions -- in fact, knowledge of literature or actually reading my book might damage Dan’s opinion of me as “the best writer since the dawn of time.� We can still support each other without being all up in the other person’s stuff. Doing your own thing, having your own friends, being completely insanely passionate about something that the other person has no idea, really, about, is awesome. It allows your spouse to be your cheerleader, uncomplicated by knowledge or personal investment. And it means you’ll always have stuff to talk about, because you’re not overlapping all the time. You don’t have to read the same books either. You don’t have to have the same friends.

7.

6

LET KIDS CHANGE YOU FOR THE BETTER.

Dan races bicycles. I write books. I don’t race bicycles or have any desire to race bicycles. He doesn’t write books,

Kids stop you from being as crazy as you want to be. Because when you have kids, you can’t be that reckless. For example, when I had kids, I actually had to start brushing up

DO YOUR OWN THING.

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on some history, math, Chumash, science, etc in order to help them out with homework. I could no longer be the party-going, irresponsible ignoramus I’d always been.

8

BE LOVING AND CARING. You should make it your life’s mission to become the most kind and caring spouse for him. And he for you. Your spouse is the other half of your neshama, so what you do for him, you are ultimately doing for yourself.

9

MOVE. Live in different houses. In different parts of the country. Travel. Make it so that you can look back and divide up your life into the years you spent in different cities, or different houses. If you’re feeling stuck geographically or physically, you can confuse yourself into thinking you’re stuck in your marriage. See your husband in different places, in different contexts, in different countries even. Try it. Take him to a mountaintop and give him another look. Take him to a new city DQG FKHFN RXW KLV SURĂ€OH $ORQJ WKH same lines, don’t be afraid to change personally, or let your wife change as a person. Don’t worry about “growing apart.â€? Be brave and evolve. Become completely different. Don’t gather moss. Stagnation is unattractive.

10.

STOP THINKING TEMPORARILY. Marriage is not conditional. It is permanent. Your husband will be with you until you die. That is a given. It sounds obvious, but really making it a given is hard. You tend to think in “ifs� and “thens� even when you’ve publicly committed to forever. If he does this, I

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won’t tolerate it. If I do this, he’ll leave me. If I get fat. If I change jobs. If he says mean things. If he doesn’t pay more attention. It’s natural, especially in the beginning of your marriage, to keep those doubts in your head. But the sooner you can let go of the idea that marriage is temporary -- and will end if certain awful conditions are met -- the sooner you will let go of all kinds RI FRQĂ LFW DQG VWUHVV <HV \RX PD\ Ă€QG \RXUVHOI LQ D KRUULEOH VLWXDWLRQ where it’s absolutely necessary to get a divorce. But going into it with divorce in the back of your mind, even in the way way way back of your mind, is going to cause a lot of unnecessary angst. Accept that you’re going to stay with him. He’s going to stay with you. ,QKDELW WKDW DQG Ă€JXUH RXW KRZ WR make THAT work, instead of living with the “what ifâ€?s and “in case of’s.â€?

11

DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN TROUBLE’S WAY Don’t test your marriage by speaking to your friends about your spouse. Your husband and your marriage are more valuable than any friendship. Any friendship that troubles the marriage should be over immediately. Protect it with knives and teeth, not because it’s fragile but because it’s precious. Don’t ever badmouth the one person who should mean the most to you. Don’t put your feet on a path that could lead

someplace bad.

12. COMPLAIN TO HIS MOTHER, NOT YOURS.

This is one I did read somewhere in a magazine, and it’s totally true. His mother will forgive him. Yours never will.

13. BE LOYAL. Everything you’ve heard about honesty, sense of humor, communication, sensitivity, date nights, blah blah blah can be trumped by one word: loyalty. You and your spouse are a team of two. It is you against the world. No one else is allowed on the team, and no one else will ever understand the team’s rules. This is okay. The team is not adversarial, the team does not tear its members down, the team does not sabotage the team’s success. Teammates work constantly to help and better their teammates. Loyalty means you put the other SHUVRQ LQ \RXU PDUULDJH ÀUVW DOO WKH WLPH DQG \RX OHW WKHP SXW \RX ÀUVW Loyalty means subverting your whims or desires of the moment to better meet your spouse’s whims or desires, with the full understanding and expectation that they will be doing the same. This is the heart of everything, and it is a tricky balance. Sometimes it sways one way and sometimes the other. Sometimes he gets to be crazy, sometimes it’s your turn. Sometimes

she’s in the spotlight, sometimes you. Ups and downs ultimately don’t matter, because the team endures.

14. TRUST THE PERSON YOU MARRIED.

For two people who are trying to help each other, it can almost be harder to let the other person help you than it is to be the one who’s helping. It can be harder to let the other person GHà HFW WKH ÀJKW WKDQ WR EH WKH RQH GHà HFWLQJ ,W FDQ EH KDUGHU WR EHOLHYH that your husband is fully committed to a lifetime of marriage than to commit yourself. Harder to change yourself than to let the other person change. Harder to be loved than to love. Weird, but true. I’m saying this to everyone who’s newly married, and to myself: trust that person. Love them completely and let them love you. If it all goes to seed, it’s going to hurt either way. Better to have gone into it full throttle. Full throttle marriage is a thrilling ride.

15. DAVEN. Last, but certainly most important, is to include Hashem in your marriage. Always. The shechina dwells in a home where there is peace and harmony, so if you follow these rules, Hashem will be an integral part of your heart and home.

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McCain: I Hope GOP Learned Its Lesson from Shutdown Sen. John McCain opposed the strategy of some Republicans that led to the partial government shutdown and he says he hopes they

have learned the lesson he and his colleagues learned in 1995. “After ‘95 we waited all these years before we tried this idiotic experiment again,” McCain said.

Tolna Rebbe and Mir Rosh Yeshiva to Grace Agudas Yisroel Convention The 91st Annual Convention of Agudas Yisroel of America will be graced with the presence of two special guests from Eretz Yisroel, Rav Yitzchok Weinberg, Tolna Rebbe, and Rav Eliezer Yehuda

contributing to what is expected to be an especially uplifting Shabbos experience, the Rebbe and the Rosh Yeshiva will join the Novominsker Rebbe and Rav Ephraim Wachsman at the Motzoei Shabbos keynote session in addressing the unprecedented assault against the Torah community and Torah values in Eretz Yisroel. They will give a deeper understanding of the many issues that face the community in Eretz Yisroel and provide guidance as to how the American Torah tzibbur should respond.

Turkey Exposed Israel’s Spy Ring in Iran Finkel, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Mir Yerushalayim. In addition to

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NEWS & ANALYSIS of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Unmanned submersibles, which are Erdogan is said to have disclosed to linked to the supply ship by cable, Iranian intelligence the identities already exist, but they are shortof up to 10 Iranians who had been meeting inside Turkey with their 0RVVDG FDVH RIĂ€FHUV ,VUDHOL DQJHU at the deliberate compromise of its agents may help explain why Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu

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Israel To Develop Unmanned Submarines The Ministry of Defense’s Administration for the Development of Weapons and Technological Infrastructure (Mafat) has set the next challenge for Israel’s defense industry: do for unmanned submarines what it did for unmanned aerial warfare. If the defense industry moves quickly and purposefully in identifying this emerging market, and offers a wellfunctioning unmanned submarine, it could be riding the right wave in a decade from now: Mafat aeronautics division director Dr. Yuval Cohen estimates that the market will be worth $2 billion a year in 2020.

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confessed that the ‘gas chamber’ shown to tourists is fake,â€? that “original German architect plans of Auschwitz show no ‘gas chambers,’â€? that “forensic chemical examination of Auschwitz has disproved the use of Zyklon-B as a homicidal agentâ€? DQG WKDW ´RIĂ€FLDO ,VUDHOL DQG 3ROLVK university archaeological digs at Belzec, Chelmno and Sobibor have IDLOHG WR Ă€QG DQ\ HYLGHQFH RI ÂśJDV chambers,’â€? The Kernel wrote. “The book also claims to show how range vehicles and have limited ‘eyewitness survivor’ memoirs, utility. Nonetheless, unmanned including that of Simon Wiesenthal, submarines have huge potential, if have been forgedâ€? and “why the story RQO\ EHFDXVH LQ D IXWXUH EDWWOHĂ€HOG was made up.â€? they can replace navy commandoes for special ops or plant intelligence Microsoft Updating devices off a hostile shore.

Amazon.com Selling Holocaust Denial, Nazi Hate Literature, Despite Being Sued in 2009 According to The Kernel, books that glorify Nazis are available for sale in Austria, Germany and France, which ban that type of literature.

Titles include The Myth of the Extermination of the Jews, Building a Whiter and Brighter World, and Did Six Million Really Die? According to the publishers of Did Six Million Really Die? the book reveals that “the Auschwitz Camp Museum has

Windows Software For Cell Phones So You Won’t Be Able To Text or Make Calls While Driving

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By Yosef Moses ODO <LVUDHO LV IDFLQJ GLI¿FXOW WLPHV $OO RI XV KDYH LQGLYLGXDO FKDOOHQJHV WKDW SUHRFFXS\ RXU PLQGV DQG RXU OLYHV ± WKH QHHG IRU D UHIXD VKHOHLPD SDUQDVVD D VKLGGXFK KDYLQJ FKLOGUHQ UDLVLQJ WKHP WR QDPH D IHZ 6R WRR ZH ORRN IRU DQ DSSURSULDWH UHVSRQVH WR WKH WUDJHGLHV 5´O WKDW KDYH URFNHG RXU FRPPXQLWLHV The Midrash relates that when .ODO <LVUDHO QHHGHG UDLQ 5¶ 7DQFKXPD SURFODLPHG IDVW GD\V WR DURXVH +HDYHQO\ PHUF\ :KHQ LW VHHPHG WKDW WKH GURXJKW ZRXOG QRW EH WHUPLQDWHG WKURXJK WKH IDVWLQJ 5¶ 7DQFKXPD UHTXHVWHG WKDW WKH PDVVHV SHUIRUP WKH PLW]YDK RI W]HGDNDK 2QH SDUWLFXODU LQGLYLGXDO HQFRXQWHUHG KLV H[ ZLIH ZKR KDG IDOOHQ XSRQ GLI¿FXOW WLPHV DQG SOHDGHG WR KLP IRU KHOS ZKHUHXSRQ KH JDYH KHU PXFK QHHGHG IXQGV 7KH LQFLGHQW EHFDPH NQRZQ WR 5¶ 7DQFKXPD ZKR VHQW IRU him in order to clarify the matter. Upon KHDULQJ WKH DFFRXQW 5¶ 7DQFKXPD FDOOHG RXW ³5LERQR 6KHO 2ODP WKLV PDQ LV D KXPDQ EHLQJ ZLWK D FUXHO QDWXUH DQG QRW REOLJDWHG WR VXSSRUW KHU \HW KH DFWHG PHUFLIXOO\ DQG JDYH KHU DVVLVWDQFH 'RHVQ¶W LW IROORZ WKDW <RX VKRXOG DFW ZLWK PHUF\ WRZDUGV <RXU FKLOGUHQ IRU ZKRVH PDLQWHQDQFH <RX DUH UHVSRQVLEOH"´ :LWKRXW GHOD\ LW EHJDQ WR UDLQ 7KLV VWRU\ LOOXVWUDWHV YLYLGO\ WKH WUHPHQGRXV SRZHU RI FKHVVHG <HW DQRWKHU OHVVRQ H[XGHV WKHUHLQ 5DY &KDLP 6KPXOHYLW] FLWHV WKLV 0LGUDVK LQ

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PRUH UHDGLO\ DQVZHUHG DQG RXU PLW]YRV WR EH DFFHSWHG MR\RXVO\ E\ +DVKHP %HVLGHV WKH VSLULWXDO EHQH¿WV FXOWLYDWLQJ KXPLOLW\ ZLOO HQKDQFH HYHU\GD\ OLYLQJ LQ YDULRXV ZD\V 2QH RI WKH EHQH¿WV RI KXPLOLW\ LV WKDW LW DVVLVWV XV LQ GHDOLQJ ZLWK LQVXOWV ,W LV D PRVW formidable challenge to resist responding LQ NLQG WR DQ LQVXOW DQ H[SHULHQFH WR ZKLFK DOPRVW HYHU\RQH FDQ UHODWH <HW EHLQJ PD¶DYHU DO PLGRVRY UHIUDLQLQJ from responding in kind to someone ZKR LQVXOWV XV EULQJV IRUJLYHQHVV IRU VLQV VLQFH LW FRPSHOV +D VKHP¶V PDQLIHVWDWLRQ RI WKH $WWULEXWH RI 'LQ -XVWLFH LQ D PDQQHU RI ³PHDVXUH IRU PHDVXUH ´ WR DEVWDLQ IURP DQDO\]LQJ RXU LPSURSHU EHKDYLRU VHH 5RVK +DVKDQDK D ZLWK 5DVKL )LQGLQJ WKH DELOLW\ ZLWKLQ RXUVHOYHV to combat arrogance and act with KXPLOLW\ LV D IRUPLGDEOH WDVN EXW ZH FDQ VORZO\ WUDLQ RXUVHOYHV LQ WKLV GLUHFWLRQ ,JJHUHV +D5DPEDQ WKH IDPRXV OHWWHU RI LQVWUXFWLRQ WKDW WKH 5DPEDQ SHQQHG WR KLV VRQ VSHDNV DERXW WKH PHULWV RI WKLV SUHFLRXV PLGGDK DQG ZULWHV WKDW E\ GLVWDQFLQJ RQHVHOI IURP DQJHU WKH TXDOLW\ RI DQDYDK ZLOO HQWHU RQH¶V KHDUW )XUWKHUPRUH WKH 5DPEDQ ZULWHV WKURXJK KXPLOLW\ RQH ZLOO JDLQ \LUDV 6KDPD\LP DQG DFTXLVLWLRQ RI WKHVH TXDOLWLHV ZLOO HQDEOH RQH WR EH VDPHFK E¶FKHONR KDSS\ with his lot. The Ramban himself wrote WKDW LWV UHFLWDWLRQ ZRXOG IDFLOLWDWH KDYLQJ RQH¶V WH¿OORV DQVZHUHG

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7KH 3HOH <RHW] LQ KLV VHFWLRQ RQ DW]YXV HFKRHV WKH 5DPEDQ¶V ZRUGV when he says that arrogance leads to VDGQHVV VLQFH RQH LV IUXVWUDWHG ZKHQ others act contrary to his will or he is not treated with the honor he feels he GHVHUYHV 7KDW D KXPEOH SHUVRQ LV PRUH SUHGLVSRVHG WR H[SHULHQFH VLPFKD LV VLJQL¿FDQW IRU WKH /HY 6LPFKD RI *HU WDXJKW WKDW VLPFKD EHVLGHV VHUYLQJ DV D WRRO LQ DYRGDV +DVKHP VHUYHV DV D VHJXOD IRU DWWDLQLQJ VDOYDWLRQ 2QFH someone who lacked parnassa bemoaned KLV VLWXDWLRQ WR KLP 7KH /HY 6LPFKD DGYLVHG KLP WR EH E¶VLPFKD ³+RZ FDQ , EH E¶VLPFKD ZKHQ , DP EHVHW E\ VXFK D SUREOHP"´ WKH SHUVRQ UHVSRQGHG 7KH 5HEEH VPLOHG HQFRXUDJLQJO\ DQG FRXQWHUHG ³:KDW ZRQ¶W D SHUVRQ GR LQ RUGHU WR PDNH D OLYLQJ ´ +XPLOLW\ LQYROYHV PRYLQJ DZD\ IURP VHOI FHQWHUHGQHVV DQG FRQFHUQLQJ RXUVHOYHV ZLWK KRZ RXU DFWLRQV LPSDFW on others. There is a story of a childless FRXSOH ZKR ZHUH FKDVVLGLP RI WKH JUHDW W]DGGLN 5HE 0RVKH RI 5R]YHGRY 7KH KXVEDQG ZRXOG WUDYHO WR KLV 5HEEH HDFK \HDU IRU WKH <RPLP 1RUDLP ZKHQ 5HE 0RVKH ZRXOG EOHVV KLP WKDW KH PHULW RIIVSULQJ EXW WKH EUDFKRV KDG \HW WR EH

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ZLWK 5HE 0HLU DQG ZH PHULW WR KDYH D FKLOG WKLV \HDU SHRSOH ZLOO FRQFOXGH WKDW \RXU EURWKHU LV D JUHDWHU W]DGGLN WKDQ \RX :H FDQQRW VHH RXUVHOYHV FDXVLQJ DQ DIIURQW WR \RXU KRQRU DQG WKHUHIRUH , GHFLGHG WR FDQFHO WKH WULS WR ']LNRY 7KH 5HEEH ZDV GHHSO\ PRYHG DQG VDLG ³)RU VXFK VHQVLWLYLW\ DORQH \RX GHVHUYH WR KDYH D FKLOG ´ $QG VR LW ZDV that a son was born to them that year. 7KH PDVVLYH ÀRRGLQJ WKDW UHFHQWO\ RYHUWRRN 3DNLVWDQ NLOOHG WKRXVDQGV DQG left millions homeless. That and other GLVDVWHUV LQ WKH ZRUOG GULYH KRPH WKH OHVVRQ WKDW PDQ LV OLPLWHG GHVSLWH KLV progress in technology and other areas. 6LPLODUO\ WKH EUHDNGRZQ RI WKH 8 6 HFRQRPLF V\VWHP RYHU WKH ODVW FRXSOH RI \HDUV VHQGV XV D FRJHQW PHVVDJH WKDW ZH DUH QRW LQ FRQWURO EULQJLQJ WR PLQG WKH ZRUGV RI WKH 1DYL &KDJJDL ³/L KDNHVVHI Y¶OL KD]DKDY QD¶XP +DVKHP´ ± WKH VLOYHU LV 0LQH DQG WKH JROG LV 0LQH VD\V +DVKHP D PRVW FRPSHOOLQJ KLQW WR XV WR KXPEOH RXUVHOYHV EHIRUH +DVKHP 0D\ RXU HIIRUWV LQ VWULYLQJ WR DFTXLUH WKH PLGGDK RI KXPLOW\ DQG DOO GHVLUDEOH PLGGRV VWDQG XV LQ JRRG VWHDG WRZDUGV EHLQJ LQVFULEHG IRU D NHVLYDK Y¶FKDVLPDK WRYD DQG PHULWLQJ +DVKHP¶V ERXQWLIXO blessings.

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Was that my father standing behind the barbed wire? by Rabbi Tzvi Nightingale

M

y father has three birthdays. Yes, three. His biological birthday is May 10, 1924. When he came to Canada after the war, he was too old to qualify as an orphan, so he had to rearrange his age a

bit and make himself younger. 5/10/24 became 10/5/27 and he was now born on October 5, 1927. (Please don’t tell the Canadian government about this. I would hate to see him

deported at this stage of his life.) Oddly, our family has EHHQ FHOHEUDWLQJ WKLV FRPSOHWHO\ ÀFWLWLRXV ELUWKGD\ HYHU since. 0\ IDWKHU ZDV ÀQDOO\ OLEHUDWHG IURP 'DFKDX RQ $SULO 29, 1945. But it is his third birthday that he speaks about with the most emotion; the one that carries the most meaning for him. He spent years in various forced labor and death camps after his town of Staszow, Poland was liquidated by the Nazis LQ +H ZDV ÀQDOO\ liberated on April 29, 1945 from Dachau concentration camp in Germany. My father has never been one to speak at length about his experiences as a survivor of the Holocaust, but he does talk about this one particular day. Among other things, I have heard him praise the American army for quickly delousing the inmates soon after they freed the camp. Being free from the Nazi hell and from the lice that infested his body for so long gave him a new lease on life. 7KH GD\ DIWHU <RP .LSSXU , ZHQW WR P\ RIÀFH DQG GLG what I do after every Yom Kippur -- not much. Not only am

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I tired from the fasting and teaching, EXW WUXWK EH WROG , Ă€QG WKH QH[W GD\ to be a bit of a downer. After intensely thinking about life, God, goals and being a better person, and trying to inspire 150 people who come to our Aish center for services, I am just not up to the everyday mundane grind that comes rushing back. So trying to recapture some of the seriousness and meaning of Yom Kippur, I found myself on YouTube and typed in “Dachauâ€? in the search box. The top RI WKH OLVW ZDV D Ă€OP FDOOHG 'DFKDX Concentration Camp Liberation. It was not a sophisticated piece, by any means. It consisted of photos slowly being panned to the background music from Schindler’s List. There were photos of soldiers approaching the camp and arresting surrendering Nazis, a bird’s eye view of the camp and photos of the main entrance and a gate with the infamous Arbeit Macht Frei. A picture appeared of an American soldier walking on a wall perpendicular to a building, and I wondered, If my father were to see this VKRUW Ă€OP ZRXOG KH UHPHPEHU VRPH RI WKH VWUXFWXUHV DQG EXLOGLQJV" , EULHĂ \ WKRXJKW RI VKRZLQJ KLP WKH Ă€OP EXW knew I would not follow through due to his extreme sensitivity whenever the subject of the Holocaust comes up. In all the years I have known my dad, I have only heard snippets here and there. $W LQWR WKH Ă€OP D SKRWR appeared that made me hit the pause button. It was a relatively clear photo, a close up of sorts, of three inmates behind barbed wire, all smiling and waving -- presumably at their saviors. The short man on the left has an overcoat, obviously given to him by one of the soldiers. The man on the right with the moustache is taller and appears to be saluting. They are wearing the familiar striped concentration camp garb. And the man in the middle looks like my father. Could this really be my father? I began to stare intensely and

analyze every detail of the physical features to see if they match my dad’s. The widow’s peak hairline, the shape of the face, the somewhat larger ear, the gap between his front teeth -- all were consistent with his look. Could it be? Could this really be him? I kept asking myself. But the trait that made me think it was him the most was the shape of his waving hand. I have always noticed this about my father, KRZ KLV LQGH[ Ă€QJHU FXUOV DQG VHHPV slightly raised higher than his middle Ă€QJHUV DQG KRZ KLV WKXPE FRPHV WR almost meet them. Today, thanks to his arthritis, his hand is almost frozen in that position, and this was the shape of the hand of the man in this photo. I immediately emailed the link to my three brothers in Toronto with the subject line, “Something very ZHLUGÂľ DQG WROG WKHP WR SDXVH WKH Ă€OP and tell me what they think. By next morning, they agreed that this could indeed be our father in the photo. Then things got a little complicated. We were faced with the dilemma of showing this photo to my father. Will it bring back too many painful memories? Should we subject him to an image of himself from so long ago of the most horrible time in his life? What effect would possibly seeing himself in Nazi prisoner garb have on his psyche? My oldest brother, Reuben, has always been closest to my father ever since he went to work for him in his meat packing plant at the age of 15. My dad gave him the most noxious job there to discourage him from working at Grace Meats, but packing tripe did not turn Reuben away. They have been very tight ever since. Reuben felt that we should think this through and “sit on itâ€? for a while. “He has not seen the photo for all these years, another day or so will not change things.â€? Sid, the next oldest brother and the peacemaker in our family, agreed. Murray and I wanted to show it to him but for the time being we deferred to the elder siblings. But the following day Murray came up with a Solomonic

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solution: Let’s show the picture to my dad’s one surviving sibling, Henya, who was with him in the camps earlier in the war and would be able to recognize if this indeed was him. Murray called me that morning on his way to Auntie Henya. I told him to call me on my cell as soon as he spoke with her. Murray called me at 12:30 pm. “She was unequivocal – it’s him. And not only that, but the man standing next to him with the overcoat was his childhood friend, Herschel D.â€? With that Murray then called my dad and asked if he wished to see a photo of himself on the day of his liberation from Dachau. He did. Murray went up to his condo and showed him the picture. With tears in his eyes my father declared, “Yeah, that’s me.â€? On April 29, 1945 a handful of photos of the liberation of Dachau were taken by Robert Spring, an X-Ray technician serving with the 59th Evacuation Hospital of the U.S. Army Medical Corps. There were 32,000 inmates on that day and most of the photos taken by soldiers were of men too skeletal to discern their identities, too grainy to see any VSHFLĂ€F IDFHV RU JURXS VKRWV WDNHQ from far away. But Mr. Spring decided to take one photo of a random group of nameless survivors whom he would never see again.To the Nazis, the man in the photo was prisoner number 147 DQG IRU \HDUV DQG Ă€YH PRQWKV it was a photo of a nameless prisoner H[SHULHQFLQJ IUHHGRP IRU WKH Ă€UVW WLPH in many years. On the day after Yom Kippur in the year 5770, Tuesday September 29, 2009, it was discovered that the smiling inmate in Nazi prisoner garb was not just prisoner 147 963 , and he was not a random nameless survivor that a heroic soldier happened to capture on camera. He was born Icek Nachtigal, Yitzchak Dovid ben Reuvain, and he goes by the name of Irving Nightingale. He was born on May 10, 1924 but he will tell you that

51

AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD PHOTOGRAPHY BY SHIMON GIFTER GIFTERPHOTOS.COM E-MAIL GIFTERPHOTOS@GMAIL.COM

Ken Thompson visiting Williamsburg

Joe Lhota visiting Achiezer in the 5 Towns

Joe Lhota visiting the Jewish community in Brooklyn NY

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Joe Lhota at Masbia Kitchen on Coney Island Ave.

Singer Benny Friedman in South Africa making new friends in higher place

Rabbi Pincus demonstrating to students the making of Tefilin at Tiferes Stam on Coney Island

Shiowing off a Sushi Platter with Owner Shaul Ashkenazi

Mendy Worch working ion his new Album with Ruli Ezrachi

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HUMOR

HOMEWORK MADNESS S. Fishman

I

have a lot of respect for teachers. Really I do. What brings on this sudden awakening of awe, you DVN" ,¡OO WHOO \RX MXVW DV VRRQ DV , Ă€QLVK collecting the last few pieces of my sanity and crazy glue them back together. My awe comes from doing homework with my seven year old GDXJKWHU 2ND\ , ZDV GHĂ€QLWHO\ VSRLOHG with my older daughter, who basically just read her notes and knew her stuff, (I used to hate such people in high school) but my seven year old needs a wee bit extra help. Just a teeny tiny drop. Unfortunately, that task falls to me. (You should be hearing music of doom in the background. Dum da dum dum DUM!) What is up with kids’ homework anyway? They come home with homework pads, homework sheets, homework booklets and homework folders. Sign the test from yesterday, review spelling page 23, do math page 15 but not lines 6 or 10, read pages 2-4 and page 63 in the reader, rewrite some paragraph on the solar system and review science. %XW P\ GDXJKWHU FDQ¡W Ă€QG WKH WHVW I’m supposed to sign and page 23 is torn out of her book. She left out all the examples in math EXCEPT for lines 6

and 10 and has absolutely no idea which paragraph she’s supposed to rewrite. So we’re good. We tackle the science. This is

My kids know more than I do. I blame it on postpartum brain cell loss. where my respect (which previously took a nosedive after seeing all these convoluted homework instructions) grew to awe inspiring proportions. Because teachers have to deal with this every day, times 30. And anyone who has ever done homework with a

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disinterested child knows what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the STARE. The blank stare that you get when you try to explain something to a kid and she has absolutely no clue what you’ve been saying; and what’s more, she doesn’t care. The paint on the wall is more interesting than whatever is coming out of your mouth. My daughter studied her paper on matter. I know she did because I heard her. But when I asked her what matter was, she gave me that look. The look that says, ‘uuuhhh‌.not quite getting you. Are you sure you’re speaking English?’ Me: “You just studied it, what is matter?â€? Her: “uuuhhh‌.matter‌is‌.â€? So I prompt her, “Matter is anything that‌?â€? and I widen my eyes and nod my head, as if my facial acrobatics will suddenly make the answer dawn on her. Her: “anything‌that‌â€? Me: “Anything that takes up space and has mass!â€? Her: Right!â€? Big smile. Me: “Okay, so again, what’s matter?â€? Her: “uuhhh‌anything‌â€? That’s the point where my sanity WKUHZ XS LWV DUPV JDYH XS WKH Ă€JKW DQG started crumbling.

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So, after having gone through the madness that is homework, you think your work is done. It isn’t. You still have to sign. Many things. Sign the test that she unearthed in an empty potato chip bag. Sign the homework sheet. Sign the paper on which she rewrote the paragraph that she thinks was the one she was supposed to rewrite. Sign the homework folder and homework pad. You don’t have to sign as many things to get a bank loan! Then of course my older daughter needs me to help her answer some Chumash questions and review her vocabulary words. “What does exacerbate mean?â€? “Uuuhhh...â€? Now it’s my turn for the stare. Here’s a nasty little secret: my kids know more than I do. I blame it on postpartum brain cell loss. I try to bluff my way through by saying things like: “Why don’t you ask Tatty,â€? or “You tell me! Look it up, or call a friend.â€? They’re going to catch on eventually. But until they do, I ZLOO KDQJ RQWR P\ VXSHUZRPDQ LPDJH ZLWK P\ Ă€QJHUQDLOV $IWHU DOO WKDW KDUG ZRUN DQG VLJQLQJ WKH\ Ă€QDOO\ JR back to school. My daughter left her homework folder on the kitchen table.

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IF QUALITY, HONESTY AND PRICE MATTERS

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RECIPES

Raisin Farfel Kugel “Nice dish for a sweet afternoon snack.”

2 cups farfel 6 eggs, beaten 1/2 cup raisins 1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup white sugar 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon 4 tablespoons butter

Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease an 8x8 inch baking dish. Soak farfel in water 10 minutes. Drain. Add beaten eggs into the bowl of farfel, and let stand 10 minutes. Stir in raisins, salt, sugar, cinnamon, and butter. Transfer mixture to prepared dish. Bake at 350 degrees F for 50 to 60 minutes.

Original recipe makes 6 servings:

Cashew Crusted Chicken “Chicken breasts dipped in an apricot/mustard sauce, then rolled in chopped cashew nuts for a wonderfully tangy, crunchy and easy baked chicken dish. This recipe will satisfy anyone!”

1 (12 ounce) jar apricot preserves 1/4 cup prepared Dijon-style mustard 1 teaspoon curry powder

Original recipe makes 4 servings:

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4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves 1 cup coarsely chopped cashews

Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine the preserves, mustard and curry powder in a large skillet and heat over low heat, stirring constantly, until preserves are completely melted and smooth. Place cashews in a shallow dish or bowl. Dip chicken breasts in skillet sauce, then roll in nuts to coat and place in a lightly greased 9x13 inch baking dish. Bake at 375 degrees F for 20 to 30 minutes. Boil any remaining sauce and serve on the side with the baked chicken.

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RECIPES

Roasted Garlic Lemon Broccoli “I was looking for a unique way to prepare broccoli and decided to give this a try! Florets are roasted after being tossed in olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt, freshly ground black pepper, and minced garlic. A squeeze of lemon juice before serving seals the deal.â€? KHDGV EURFFROL VHSDUDWHG LQWR Ă RUHWV 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 teaspoon sea salt

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 clove garlic, minced 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice

Directions: Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. ,Q D ODUJH ERZO WRVV EURFFROL à RUHWV ZLWK WKH H[WUD YLUJLQ ROLYH RLO VHD VDOW pepper and garlic. Spread the broccoli out in an even layer on a baking sheet. %DNH LQ WKH SUHKHDWHG RYHQ XQWLO à RUHWV DUH WHQGHU HQRXJK WR SLHUFH WKH VWHPV with a fork, 15 to 20 minutes. Remove and transfer to a serving platter. Squeeze lemon juice liberally over the broccoli before serving for a refreshing, WDQJ\ ÀQLVK

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Original recipe makes 6 servings:

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