Boro Park Buzz #105 September 10 2017

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Make Your Bed:

Change Your Life and Maybe the World

by Sara Debbie Gutfreund

9 lessons

from Admiral McRaven’s bestselling book.

In 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven (the ninth commander of U.S. Special Operations Command) gave a powerful commencement speech at the University

6

of Texas in which he shared inspiring life lessons from basic SEAL training: “Start each day with a task completed.

Respect everyone. Know that life is not fair and that you will fail often. But if you take some risks, step up when the times are toughest, face down the bullies, lift up the downtrodden and never, ever give up-if you do these things, then the next generation and the generations that follow will live in a world far better than the one we live in today.”

Admiral McRaven elaborated on the ideas he shared in his speech in his bestselling book Make Your Bed: Little Things that Can Change Your Life and Maybe the

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World. Here are nine lessons from his book: If you want to change the world, start by making your bed. In SEAL training, the first task of the morning is making your bed and having it inspected. It seems like a insignificant act but its effects ripple throughout the day. Starting the first moment of the day with a completed task creates a sense of dignity and respect before we even leave our room. “If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.”

1.

EIZER L'YOLDOS

2.

3.Measure a person by the size of their heart, not the size of their flippers. Only a third of the trainees end up completing SEAL training, but it’s not always the strongest or the most accomplished individuals who succeed. “SEAL training was a great equalizer. Nothing mattered but your will to succeed. Not your color, not your ethnic background, not your education and not your social status.”

3.

Get over it and keep moving forward. If a trainee fails the uniform inspection, he has to run fully clothed into the ocean and then roll around the beach until every part of his body is covered with sand. The trainee has to stay in that uniform for the rest of the day, cold, wet and sandy. The effect is known as a “sugar cookie.” “Sometimes no matter how well you prepare or how well you perform, you still end up as a sugar cookie. There were many a student who just couldn’t accept the fact that all their effort was in vain. Those students didn’t understand the purpose of the drill. You were never going to succeed all the time.

You were never going to always have a perfect uniform.”

4.

5. Sometimes you have to slide down the obstacle head first. Admiral McRaven repeatedly failed to meet the time standards for one of the obstacle courses because he was afraid to go down the rope part headfirst in order to save the precious seconds he

5.

8

needed. Finally, he took the risk and did it, succeeding in not only meeting the time standard but learning to overcome his fears. “Don’t be afraid to go down the obstacle headfirst.”

6. Don’t back down from the sharks. There are several ocean swims in the dark that the SEAL trainees must complete with not only limited visibility, but also knowing that there are deadly sharks swimming beside them in the water. There is no way to run from the sharks; they can only swim beside them and fight them if they attack.

“There are a lot of sharks in the world. If you hope to complete the swim you will have to deal with them.”

6.

9. Don’t ever ring the bell.

In SEAL training there is a brass bell that hangs in the middle of the compound and if a student wants to quit at any time, all he needs to do is to ring the bell. But once you ring the bell, you will regret it for the rest of your life. “Ring the bell and you no longer have to wake up at 5 o’clock. Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the freezing cold swims.

Ring the bell and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training. Just ring the bell. If you want to change the world, don’t ever, ever ring the bell.”

9.

Anyone can change his life and the world if he perseveres.

7. Be your very best in the darkest moment. One of the hardest missions in training is a challenging swim in which the trainees have to swim in the dark under a huge ship. It is so dark that if you lose your swimming partner, there is little hope that you will find him again until after the mission. The key to success in completing the challenge is to rise to the occasion and keep calm even in the darkest spot underneath the ship. “At the darkest moment of the mission is the time when you must be calm, composed, when all your tactical skills, your physical power and all your inner strength must be brought to bear.”

7.

8. Start singing when you’re up to your neck in mud.

During one of the toughest moments in McRaven’s training, when the trainees were cold and wet and stuck in the mud in the middle of the night, one of his fellow students almost gave up. Suddenly, one of the trainees began to sing and one by one, they all started to join in until the strength of their voices carried them through the night. That one person who had the courage to start singing when he was up to his neck in mud gave the rest of the group the much needed hope they needed to pull through. “If I have learned anything in my time traveling the world, it is the power of hope. One person can change the world by giving people hope.”

8.

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“Start each day with a task completed.

Respect everyone.

Know that life is not fair and that you will fail often.

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If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle. In SEAL training each team has to carry around a raft together and paddle through rough waters after hours of training. Inevitably, there are some days when some trainees are exhausted and unable to paddle. Those are the moments when they must depend on their teammates to help them. “You can’t change the world alone – you will need some help – and to truly get from your starting point to your destination takes friends, colleagues, the good will of strangers and a strong coxswain to guide them.”

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How Jury Duty Prepared Me for Rosh Hashanah

by Rabbi Boruch Leff

I thought jury duty was going to be waste of time. Instead it changed my life.

Jury duty is a fact of life when you live in Baltimore, MD. It means sitting all day in a room waiting for your number to be called for possible selection on a jury along with 700 people. So many people come since the attorneys will disqualify most potential jurors for some reason or another.

For many years I escaped the jury duty experience, but the day finally came when I got that ill-fated card in the mail. So off I went, not wanting to get fined or, as the card states, possible jail time.

I got there right on time, at 8:30 AM

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without knowing that I could have arrived at 10AM and no one would have missed me.

I tried to utilize the time as best as I could, reading and studying Torah but it was not the best environment within which to learn. I couldn’t concentrate so well.

announcement instructing 200 of us to report to a specific courtroom.

We followed a court employee like a mini-parade as we ventured outside to a courthouse a couple of blocks away.

We finally got to our destination and were asked to sit down on the benches in the viewers section of the courtroom.

Eventually the room fell eerily silent and the judge informed us that we would begin the proceedings shortly.

At that point, an attorney approached the judge and then another attorney who seemed to represent the opposing side also ‘approached the bench.’

A half hour after lunch break, for the first time all day there was an

The judge conversed with them for 15 minutes while we potential jurors in the

My jury duty began and I waited.

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audience sat quietly.

Finally, the judge spoke to us.

“Ladies and gentleman, I would like to thank you for giving up your day and devoting yourself to the public service of jury duty. I know many of you had to give up a day of work, while others had to find child care for their young ones. Your fellow citizens appreciate your dedication to this important task.

“Let me explain the great assistance you just accomplished without you even realizing what you have done. The man standing by the desk to my right has been accused of murder. Throughout the morning we were trying to see if he would plead guilty, plea-bargain and avoid a trial but he kept on maintaining his innocence, despite the heavy and serious evidence gathered against him. Consequently, shortly after the lunch break, I had the 200 of you summoned to this courtroom so as to begin jury selection proceedings.

“But now I am pleased to report to you that as you all proceeded into this room, reality began to sink in to the defendant and he began to truly recognize that a trial against him was actually about to begin. Apparently, the depth of the matter did not really hit home until he saw the 200 of you piling into the room.

“He has now chosen to change his plea to guilty. You have all accomplished a great thing for our society by merely being here today and I am pleased to tell you that you may all go home!”

As I happily raced out of there, a stark, sobering lesson stared me in the face.

The defendant kept pretending that he would somehow get away with it. He didn’t take the possibility of a trial and conviction to a harsh and long sentence seriously. He was in denial. Only when hundreds of jurors arrived to begin the trial proceedings did he accept that he was at the point of no return and it was ‘now or never’ to plead guilty and receive less of a punishment.

And I instantly saw myself doing something similar. Don’t I also push away the thoughts of consequences for my misdeeds? Don’t I also pretend sometimes that I could somehow avoid reaping what I have sown?

Rosh Hashanah is coming. We face a judgment during these Days of Awe. Judgment sounds daunting and negative. Why does God judge us every year?

An answer is nestled in another name that Rosh Hashanah has. In the Machzor it is called Yom Hazikaron, the Day of Remembrance. On Rosh Hashanah, as we stand before God all the moments of the past year -- the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly – the ones we remember and the ones we forget, all of them are right there, in living color, before God who forgets nothing. On Rosh Hashanah every moment is remembered, looked at and judged.

God’s judgment isn’t to exact revenge. His judgment means that He cares about everything we do. Our actions matter. Through judgment, God makes us aware that our choices make a real difference. Our lives are significant; we are responsible for shaping the world. And that meaning and responsibility is a tremendous cause for celebration.

We are all facing a trial. Will we be like that defendant who didn’t take his judgment seriously until it was almost too late? Or will we confront reality, admit our guilt and prepare for trial?

Let’s get ready by living a little better today than yesterday. Let’s make sure to perform some kindness, study some Torah and take our next step in growth, whatever it may be. And let’s look in the mirror and see where we are guilty and resolve to do better.

Facing the real consequences of my choices was my grand jury impact.

Rosh Hashanah is coming. We face a judgment during these Days of Awe. Judgment sounds daunting and negative. Why does God judge us every year?

(Based on Rav Yaakov Weinberg’s insights)

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Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

The Shmuz on the Parsha

Seeing the Judgement Rosh HaShanah - It Is Hard to See the Judgment We are told over and over about the power of prayer. We know that Hashem is more merciful that any person we could ever imagine. And Chazal tell us that Hashem waits for our prayers.

If we accept that our fate for the coming year is decided on Rosh Hashanah, then we should spend the entire day in shul with tears streaming down our cheeks, imploring, beseeching, begging Hashem for mercy.

While it’s true that the davening on Rosh Hashanah is more intense than usual, for most people crying and begging isn’t an apt description. The question is: why?

Part of the reason is that the judgment on Rosh Hashanah is different than any other judgment that we experience. As an example: A Mockery of Justice In 1994, O.J. Simpson was on trial for murder. The case drew great interest because, in a sense, the U.S. Judicial system was on trial. To anyone reading the news objectively, it was clear. The man killed his wife.

The question was: could money, fame and bias sway the jury? A dream team of lawyers was called in to defend him.

And after months of high acrobatics, a decision had been reached.

The day that the verdict was read, O.J. Simpson sat in court gripping

18

the bench. His entire future was being proclaimed. Would he spend the rest of his life behind bars, or would he again be free?

The jury foreman rose to read the verdict. “We find the defendant… not guilty.”

Simpson’s face lit up. The joy, the relief, the happiness was palpable.

The Verdict Is Read That is judgment in this world.

There is a period of fact-finding, a period of deliberation, and then the decision is read for all to hear. At that point, the judge, the jury, the defendant, and all in attendance know the ruling.

We live through a similar process on Rosh Hashanah. There is a period of fact-finding and a period of deliberation before the verdict is reached. But we don’t hear the verdict.

We don’t know what the decree is.

Were we given a year of life or not? Were we granted a year of health and well-being or not? The decree is set, but we don’t hear it. If we did, it would change the way we view life.

What We Don’t See The Steipler Gaon, zt”l, was known as a man of extraordinary holiness and was accepted as one of the leaders of his generation. People would come to him from far and wide for

advice or a berachah. Often, they would hear words that bordered on prophetic.

One day, a man walked into the Steipler’s small apartment in Bnei Brak. It was midafternoon, and there were already many people on line waiting. Typically, the Steipler would sit at his desk and listen to the person who had come to see him for a moment or two, his eyes largely remaining on the sefer in front of him. It was rare for the Steipler to look up. When this man walked into the apartment, not only did the Steipler look up, he stared directly at him, and in Yiddish began shouting at him, “Rasha, rasha (wicked one), get out! Get out, rasha!”

Everyone in the room was silent. All eyes turned to this man. He turned red. He turned white. Then he ran out of the apartment.

A few hours later, someone came in to see the Steipler and said in a low voice, “Rosh Yeshiva, forgive me, but that man that the Steipler called a rasha doesn’t seem to be such a rasha.

When he left the Steipler’s apartment, he got into a car that had a number of other people inside. The car got into a major crash, and every other person in the car died. He was the only one that was unhurt. Obviously, he isn’t such a rasha!”

The Steipler responded, “Don’t you understand? When he walked into

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the room, the Angel of Death walked in with him. I didn’t have a choice. When someone humiliates his friend, it’s as if he killed him. That was the only way I could save him.”

There used to be a time when men like the Steipler could see the Angel of Death. We can’t. So it is difficult for us to relate to the issues that are decided on Rosh Hashanah.

Seeing the Din Nevertheless, when you look around an average shul on Rosh Hashanah, you should recognize that many decrees are being put into place. There will many beautiful pronouncements. That man who lost his job and can barely pay his bills will be granted a year of great financial wellbeing. That older single who has not yet found her bashert will be granted to meet him this year. The couple that has not yet merited having children will now be granted a child.

There will, however, also be many decrees that aren’t so pleasant. That man will lose his business. This family will go through great travails. That woman will be stricken with a dreaded illness. And if you daven in a large enough congregation, there will also be a few people who will get an X over their heads. This will be their last year of life; they won’t make it to next Rosh Hashanah.

But we don’t see this. We walk out of shul on Rosh Hashanah, and we wish each person a good sweet year. But we don’t know. We don’t know what the decree is. We don’t know what the outcome will be.

But we understand that Hashem knows what is best.

Hashem sits as the ultimate Judge, and Hashem metes out mankind’s fate.

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier was a high school rebbe for 15 years before creating Shmuz.com. The Shmuz, a popular website that dispenses weekly Torah inspiration to 10,000 people across the globe, reflects the down-to-earth, practical voice of Rabbi Shafier. Offering refreshing parasha thoughts, life-changing hashkafa workshops, and captivating marriage seminars (like “10 Really Dumb Mistakes that Very Smart Couples Make”), Rabbi Shafier is direct, daring, and downright funny, providing audiences with essential Torah principles packaged in an enticing, enjoyable way. A father of six and grandfather of four, Rabbi Shafier lives in Monsey, New York.

All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at www.theShmuz.

Please digard this Torah page accordingly in geniza com or on the Shmuz App for iphone or Android.

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Jewish Center for the Performing Arts 718-513-6257 1185 E 34th St www.jewishperformingarts.com

Rivka Nahari, Artistic Director

Classes for our 10th year begin September 10th!

In honor of our 10th year, get 10% off your first month if you register by 10/10!!!

GIRLS PROGRAM: Ages 3 and up

Ballet

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We are excited to announce that we now offer Character dance for girls ages 12 and up!

BOYS PROGRAM: Ages 5 and up

BREAKDANCING Professional teachers. Real training.

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STA RT T H E N E W Y E A R W I T H COM PL I M E N TS NEW

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A Bathroom Tale: A True Story for Elul

by Simcha Loiterman

Awareness is the first step to change.

28

A while back I went on a road trip with a couple of friends from Chicago down to Houston. After six hours in the car, we stopped at a rest area in Missouri.

We got out, stretched, I went into the restroom to wash up and wet my face.

I immediately noticed something different about the restroom. It was sparkling clean and there was no cracked tile or graffiti. There were more mirrors than I was used to seeing.

As I washed up at the sink, the door opened and in walked an elderly woman. She was short, gray, and looked somewhat dazed. I was surprised to see her there but she looked harmless, bewildered – probably tired from hours of driving. She stood in the doorway staring but I confidently strode over to the air dryer then looked myself over in one of several full-length mirrors. I gave her a polite nod and walked out.

The bathroom door closed and that’s when I saw the sign on the door.

Gulp. I had entered the wrong restroom.

We all make mistakes. Here I was thinking that this woman was dazed and confused, entering the wrong restroom, when all along it was me who was confused and making the error. I blushed in embarrassment and laughed at myself.

We can go through chunks of time thinking we’re doing just fine, when in fact we are just unaware of reality. And that’s the first step to change: recognize that you’re the one standing in the wrong bathroom. If you don’t become aware of your mistakes, how can you own them and work on doing better?

It’s a challenge to admit a mistake.

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We like the illusory comfort in thinking we’re just fine the way we are. Owning up to a flaw pushes us out of comfort zone and makes us responsible to actually fix it. That is exactly what the month of Elul is all about – becoming aware of the things we need to fix and getting more serious about correcting them.

The “Pillow Test” One simple exercise to start with is what I call “The Pillow Test.” When you lay your head on your pillow to sleep, replay your day. Ask yourself: What went right for me?

What could have gone better?

What did I do well today?

Where did I make mistakes?

Do I have any regrets?

Was this day a success?

This short practice re-enforces positive behavior and helps develop a habit of being more self-aware and objective about your actions.

When you decide to take steps to improve something about yourself, pick something small and manageable.

Having someone to confide in and cheer you on or do the action with you is very helpful too.

Every day during the month of Elul we blow the shofar. It’s a wake-up call to the soul, my reminder to take an honest self inventory. Reflecting and taking small steps to change is the most powerful way to ensure you have a sweet new year.

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Easy-toMake Rosh Hashanah Recipes I love to prepare a few recipes for Rosh Hashanah and store them in the freezer so that holiday preparation is more manageable and the holiday more meaningful.

These recipes are not only a huge hit but they freeze well too. Wrap them tightly before freezing. Always defrost in the refrigerator so that foods do not get too moist and cover and rewarm them before serving. Another great freezing tip is to freeze items flat, like soups, sauces and roasts, in re-sealable freezer bags.

This saves space in the freezer and is effective for quicker defrosting.

34

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Brisket Braised with Pomegranate Onion Confit Serves 8-10 Brisket Braised with Pomegranate Onion Confit3 tablespoons olive oil 1 (5 – 6 pound) brisket 2 onions, chopped (2 cups) 2 leeks, chopped 6 garlic cloves, minced 2 carrots, coarsely chopped 1 celery stalk with leaves, coarsely chopped 2 cups pomegranate juice 2 cups chicken broth 3 fresh thyme sprigs or 2 teaspoons dried thyme 2 fresh rosemary sprigs 2 bay leaves 1 teaspoon Kosher salt ½ teaspoon black pepper Confit 3 tablespoons olive oil 4 onions, thinly sliced ¾ teaspoon kosher salt ¼ teaspoon black pepper ¼ cup chicken broth ½ cup dry red wine ½ cup pomegranate seeds For the brisket: Heat oil over medium-high heat in a large Dutch oven or pot, brown brisket on both sides, about 10 minutes. Transfer brisket to platter and set aside.

Preheat oven to 325°F. Add onions and leeks to same pot. Cook, stirring occasionally, over medium-high heat, until vegetables are softened, 5-7 minutes. Add garlic, carrots, and celery and continue cooking until onions are golden, 7-10 minutes.

Add 1 cup pomegranate juice and bring mixture to boil, Reduce liquid by about half, about 8 minutes. Add remaining 1-cup juice, broth, thyme, rosemary, and bay leaves and simmer. Add salt and pepper.

Place brisket back in pot and spoon mixture on top of brisket. Cover pot, and place in oven, basting every half hour, until meat is tender, 2 ½ – 3 ½ hours.

For the confit: In a 12-inch skillet, heat oil. Add onions, salt and pepper, and toss to coat. Cook, covered, over lowest heat, stirring occasionally so mixture does not burn,1 hour, or until onions are soft and pale gold. Add broth and wine. Raise heat and boil, uncovered, stirring, until all liquid is evaporated and onions turn golden. Taste and adjust the seasoning (you may need more salt), Remove from heat. Stir in pomegranate seeds just before serving.

Slice brisket across the grain. If desired, with an immersion blender, puree brisket cooking juices with vegetables to make a thicker gravy.

Otherwise, place sliced brisket with juices on serving platter. Top with onion confit.

35

Simple Roasted Sweet Maple Dijon Chicken Serves 8 servings

low-sided roasting pans. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Simple Roasted Sweet Maple Dijon Chicken 2 chickens, cut in 1/8’s 1 teaspoon kosher salt ½ teaspoon black pepper 2/3 cup pure maple syrup 2/3 cup orange juice 4 tablespoons Dijon mustard 3 tablespoons olive oil 1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme or rosemary (or fresh) Garnish, fresh thyme or rosemary, optional

In a small saucepan, whisk together maple syrup, orange juice, mustard, oil, and thyme or rosemary. Simmer over medium heat until slightly thickened, about 5 minutes. Pour evenly over chicken.

Roast chicken, basting occasionally, for about 50 minutes or until juices run clear, or an internal thermometer registers 170 degrees.

Serve with pan juices and garnish with additional fresh herbs, if desired.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place chickens in two

36

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Apple Cider Chicken Breasts with Apricot Sauce Serves 4 1/3 cup dried apricots, chopped 1/3 cup apple cider 1 (15 ounce) can of apricots in juice 1 tablespoon canola oil 4 (6 ounce) boneless, skinless chicken breasts Âź cup shallots 1 cup chicken broth 2 tablespoons orange juice 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary 1 tablespoon chili powder 4 teaspoons sugar 1 teaspoon kosher salt Âź teaspoon black pepper In a small bowl, soak dried apricots in apple cider until plump, 5 minutes. With an immersion blender, puree apricots with cider, and canned apricots in juices, until smooth. Set aside.

In a large skillet heat oil.Brown chicken breast on both sides, about 3 minutes each side. Transfer chicken to plate. Add shallots to pan and cook until lightly browned, 2 minutes. Add broth, orange juice, rosemary, chili powder and sugar. Return chicken to pan and simmer until cooked through, 6 to 8 minutes.

Add salt and pepper. Remove chicken from pan. Add pureed apricot mixture and cook until sauce is slightly reduced and thickened, about 5 minutes.

Serve chicken with sauce.

37

Spinach Salad with Dates Serves 4, can be doubled

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 5 cups baby spinach ½ cup pomegranate seeds, optional ½ cup French’s crispy fried onions

Spinach Salad with Dates I love this salad for Yom Tov. I add pomegranate seeds for Rosh Hashannah for extra color and crunch.

2 dates, pitted, plus ¾ cup chopped dates 1 teaspoon finely grated lime zest ¼ cup lime juice 1/3 cup vegetable oil, divided

38

Blend whole dates, lime zest, lime juice, and ⅓ cup oil in a blender until smooth; season with salt and pepper.

Toss spinach, chopped dates, and pomegranate seeds with dressing. Top with fried onions.

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Mesclun Salad with Apples and Champagne Serves 8 Dressing ¼ cup mayonnaise ¼ cup maple syrup 3 tablespoons champagne ½ cup canola oil Salad 6 – 8 cups Mixture of mesclun and arugula lettuce 2 apples, sliced 1 cup sliced hearts of palm ½ cup craisins or dried cranberries Toasted candied nut, optional In a container with a fitted lid, place all dressing ingredients.

Cover and shake vigorously until fully blended.

In a large bowl, combine all salad ingredients. Pourdressing over salad and toss.

Serve immediately.

39

Cinnamon Bun Apple Pie Serves 10 1Cinnamon Bun Apple Pie (14 .5-ounce) box store-bought pie dough 2 tablespoons margarine, room temperature 1/2 cup sugar 1 1/8 teaspoons cinnamon 5 assorted baking apples (about 2 pounds) Juice of 1 lemon 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 egg, lightly beaten 2/3 cup confectioners’ sugar 2 tablespoons soymilk, plus more if needed Place a baking sheet in oven and preheat to 400.

Line a 9-inch pie plate with 1 piece of dough; refrigerate until ready to assemble.

Peel and slice apples. Toss with lemon juice, vanilla and remaining 1/4 cup sugar and 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon in a large bowl.

Pour apples into the dough-lined pie plate. Invert cinnamon-roll crust on top and peel off the parchment (it’s OK if the individual rounds separate a bit in the process). Pinch crusts together; Brush with beaten egg.

Gourmet Kosher CookingSet pie on hot baking sheet in oven; bake until crust is golden brown and filling is bubbling, about 50 minutes. (Tent loosely with foil if top browns too quickly.)

Transfer to a rack to cool slightly.

Whisk the confectioners’ sugar and soymilk in small bowl until smooth. Drizzle over the pie.

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM AISH.COM

For cinnamon-roll crust: Lay remaining piece of dough on lightly floured surface and spread margarine evenly on top.

In a small bowl, mix 1/4 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon;

sprinkle evenly over margarine, and press gently to help mixture adhere. Roll pie dough into a tight log. Trim about 1 1/2 inches from both ends; cut remaining log crosswise into 1/2-inch-thick pieces. Arrange pieces cut-side down in a snug circle on a piece of floured parchment paper. Dust with more flour. Gently roll it into a 10-inch round. Refrigerate until ready to assemble pie.

40

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