Boro Park Buzz #120 Jan 14 2018

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Volume 5, Issue 120 January 14th 2018

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The Shmuz on the Parsha

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

The Shmuz on the Parsha Parshas Bo

Do we need to respect the Institution?

“And all of your servants will come to me, bow and say, “Leave!” You together with the nation that is with you, and then we will leave.” — Shemos 11:8 Pharaoh remains steadfast in his opposition to HASHEM From the first time that Moshe appeared in his court, Pharaoh’s attitude had been, “Who is this HASHEM that I should listen to him?” Time after time, Pharaoh insulted HASHEM and Moshe.

Now, HASHEM is sending Moshe on the final mission: “Tell Pharaoh if he remains in his wickedness, all of the first born in Mitzrayim will be killed.” The stakes were raised.

Moshe changes the message Rashi tells us that when Moshe spoke to Pharaoh, he modified the message. Moshe knew that in the end Pharaoh himself would come running back to him and beg him to take the Jews out of Mitzrayim.

However, since it wasn’t respectful to mention that the king would come running, Moshe changed the wording to, “Your servants will come running.” Rashi explains that this was done out of respect for the monarchy.

This concept becomes difficult to

8

understand when we take into account what his government stood for and who he was as an individual.

A wicked government It would be difficult to imagine a government more evil than Pharaoh’s.

Official policy was enslavement and oppression of the Jews – not as a tolerated social ill, but as public policy and mandate of the government.

State law denied Jews all rights – ownership of property, freedom of speech, the right of public assembly. They were treated as chattel, owned by the Mitzrim.

But more than that, Jews didn’t even have the right to live. As the Jewish people continued to thrive, infanticide became state policy.

Furthermore, Pharaoh himself was a butcher. When he contracted tzaras, his wise men offered the cure – bathe in human blood. The Medrash tells us that to do this, he would bathe in the blood of Jewish babies each day. However, he needed a bath in the evening as well, and heaven forefend to use stale blood, so each morning and evening he would have 150 innocent Jewish souls slaughtered – for his personal comfort.

Why should Moshe treat such a king with respect?

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Respect for the institution not the individual “Without fear of government, a man will swallow his friend alive.” (Pirkei Avos). Anyone who has lived through a period of lawlessness can attest to the primal fear he felt as he helplessly watched rioting, looting, and mob behavior.

Ask a recent émigré from South Africa what it is like when a group of thugs appears at his backyard picnic and begins indiscriminately shooting up his family. It’s a country where carjackings, muggings, and armed holdups are the norm, and there is no one to talk to, not because people there are different, but because the respect for authority has melted.

It seems that the answer to this question is the distinction between respecting the institution and respecting the individual.

For the proper running of society, and therefore for the good of mankind, there needs to be a system of leadership and a hierarchy of authority, what we know as government. For government to be effective it must wield power, and its citizens must respect its authority. One of the obligations of any member of a society is to obey and respect its leaders. It is a correct and proper manner of behavior.

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Without it, society itself cannot function.

As the king occupies the position of leadership of the country, it is the obligation of all to respect him. That is basic to the good of society. It is the right way to act, and it is the way that HASHEM wants us to act. This respect has nothing to do with the individual; it has to do with the position. I may recognize that a leader as an individual is a lout, and I may feel that way about him privately, but as long as he maintains his position, I am obligated to respect him.

Moshe Rabbeinu was doing what was right and proper.

Despite the fact that this individual was wicked, he held the position of king, so Moshe showed respect for the institution of leadership. Even though that institution was now being used to pursue wicked ends, the institution itself was still worthy of respect, and therefore Moshe acted accordingly.

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What does this mean for me?

This message is particularly relevant in our times. Historically, kings viewed their populations as sources of taxes and foot soldiers – vehicles by which to expand their fame and fortune. Rare was the king who actually ruled for the good of his people.

We find ourselves in very different conditions, a government “of the people, by the people, and for the people.” Whether we agree with every policy or not, it is an unprecedented advance for the good of man, a regime run for the good of the citizens of that land.

To us as Jews, this is especially poignant. For almost two thousand years, we have wandered from county to country, oppression to oppression, expulsion to expulsion. We now find ourselves welcome members of the American society, citizens with all the rights of any other citizen. We are allowed to operate our own schools in the manner that we see fit. We are allowed to worship in the way that we feel appropriate. We are allowed to conduct our lives in the way that we so choose. The only request made upon us is to abide by the laws of the land.

In the history of our long exile, we have never had it this good.

And, therefore, it is especially incumbent upon us to respect this land, obey its laws, pay homage to its leaders, and appreciate the great blessing that we enjoy in living in this country.

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Five Ways to Improve Your Emotional Fitness

by Sara Debbie Gutfreund

Practical tips on how to transform your emotions and live a happier life.

W We can channel and transform our emotions way more than we think we can by implementing these five strategies that build the core of our emotional fitness.

1. Change your physical demeanor. When you feel any emotion, notice what is happening in your body. For example, when someone is sad he typically has a slumped posture and speaks slowly and quietly. Even the breathing pattern

14

associated with sadness is different from more positive states; when someone is depressed or angry he tends to take shallow quick breaths instead of deep, slow ones. Once we are aware of how we express our emotions physically, we can often change our moods from the inside out by breathing deeply, correcting our posture and even changing the tone and speed of how we are speaking. Going for a run can do wonders for our bad mood.

2.Change your focus. What we decide to focus on in any situation creates our feelings. Do we focus on the problem or the solution? The gratitude or the lack?

The mistake or all the things that we did right? What we can control or what we can’t? The more we look for things to be grateful for, the more blessings that we will see. The more we focus on what we can control, the more solutions we will find to deal with our challenges.

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3.Pay attention to the words you use.

The language that we use (even if it’s only words we are saying to ourselves) to describe our lives and the world around us radically affects not only our perspective of life but the meaning that we ascribe to it. For example, what is life like for someone who describes it as ‘getting through the day’ versus someone who describes life as sacred? Compare describing life as a dance versus life as a test. Our language creates the emotional fabric of our lives and sometimes just changing one adjective can shift our whole mindset.

4.Know your why. In order to understand and use our emotions, we need to know what motivates us to do what we do.

What drives us? Once we understand our motivation (which is different for each of us), we can create a compelling future that harnesses the power of our

why in life. Meaningful goals that leverage our emotional motivations allow us to consciously direct our feelings in constructive ways.

5. Clarify your beliefs. We are all driven by a number of unconscious beliefs that create our sense of identity. These convictions are often not even our own; they have been programmed into us by society. We live according to what we believe we are. If we believe that we aren’t enough, then nothing we achieve will ever make us feel like we matter. If we believe that we are “an angry or depressed person” then we will search for and find reasons to affirm that identity regardless of what is actually happening in our lives. If we instead identify with the part of us that is calm and happier and believe that we are merely feeling angry or sad for the moment, then our positive identity will prompt us to seek out people and ideas that will reinforce our identity as a generally happy person.

Each of us comes to this world with unique gifts and incredible potential; our emotions are tools that we can use to help us share those gifts with the world. But we need to harness their power and control their direction. Try using these five strategies to thrive and work on building the core of your emotional fitness. Our feelings are too powerful to waste and our lives are too precious to live without using all the gifts that we have been given.

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Why I Left Germany

by Julia Schmidt

Once I opened my eyes, the alarming signs of rising anti-Semitism were everywhere.

Y

ou know it is not always wise to tell people that you are Jewish,” my son’s Hebrew school teacher told me. We belonged to a synagogue in Bonn, Germany. “Sometimes it can be dangerous and it is better to keep quiet.”

I cringed when I heard him say this, something he repeated numerous times, but I slowly adopted his advice. There was an incongruity living as a Jew in Germany.

On the one hand there was a trace of fear, but by and large we lived in a bubble and denied the lurking anti-Semitism. We missed the more glaring signs of trouble.

Having armed police on a 24-hour basis outside the small and only synagogue in Bonn, and, for that matter, any other synagogue in Germany, was considered so normal that no one found it odd. It was

20

just the way things always have been since 1945. The Germans I knew didn’t think there was anti-Semitism, not in Germany!

So I never stopped to ask myself, why do Jews need to be protected?

I taught many academics English for their jobs at a scientific organization that also funded projects in Israel. It was here that my sensitivity to anti-Semitism was raised. Every now and then, one of my students would make a comment that left me feeling horrible. It was often about Israelis greediness for money and their demands for more of it. The warning bells started to go off in my head. Jews and money is a very old trope and it was said in such a way that left me feeling dirty.

Then came the summer of 2014 and the Gaza war. I was forced out of my complacency. The main German

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newspapers started a journalistic war against Israel. Every day I read with trepidation all the hideous crimes that Israelis were committing and the terrible death toll of Palestinians.

A few weeks into the war, 2000 Arabs and Turks along with a few left wing supporters marched through the main street in Frankfurt screaming, “Hamas, Hamas, Jews to the Gas.” In Germany this is not only frightening, it’s downright chilling. The police didn’t stop the march or the incitement to violence. Instead there were reports of police storming an apartment where a sympathizer with Israel had hung the Israeli flag in support.

The police removed the flag saying they didn’t want to encourage more violence.

Things were terribly askew and the taboo of saying anti-Semitic things in

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Germany had been broken.

I was in turmoil. I had been brought up as a Jew who loves and supports Israel as the home of the Jews. Through my years of inaction and complacency, I had not really followed the conversation of Israel and the Middle East; I seemed to have forgotten the historical facts of Israel and the Jews, and I realized with a shock that I had no idea what the truth was. I had no idea if Israel was really committing these heinous war crimes and I didn’t know how to defend her right to exist.

How could I support Israel if they were indeed doing these terrible things?

And yet how could I not support Israel?

What chilled me even more was the response of my students, who all had their PhDs, to the war in Gaza. Many times my students gave their unguarded comments on Israel’s awful aggression.

The shame I started to feel fueled me to start researching and reading every day to understand what was going on and why Israel was being presented in the media in such a distorted and ogre-like fashion.

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I was in a class with my students and the news in Israel had been particularly bad that day. In desperation I looked at them and said, “Do you think Israel has a right to exist?” They looked straight at me, still not knowing I was Jewish, and sighed in unison. They just stared at me and didn’t say a word. But their thundering silence spoke volumes. One student finally broke the silence and said that what the Jews have done to Arabs in Israel is what the Americans did to the Native Americans.

I gasped inside as I realized that we had reached a new level of hatred. It was as if a veil had fallen and I started seeing what was really happening.

Signs of anti-Semitism that I had previously been unable to pinpoint were popping up everywhere. I discovered that in Cologne, a huge city near Bonn with a larger Jewish community, there was a 30-foot stand called “The Wailing Wall” which consisted posters and photos of maimed and dying Palestinian children, victims of Israeli aggression, along with caricatures of Jews drinking Arab blood

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and cutting up a Palestinian for dinner.

I couldn’t believe that this was being allowed in Germany.

I subsequently found out that two years earlier a rabbi in Berlin, taking a walk with his six-year-old daughter, had been attacked for being Jewish by a group of Arab youths. He was brutally beaten just for being Jewish. I had no idea this had happened; it didn’t make any headlines in the news.

But Israel always made the headlines, and they were bad. The more I researched, the more I uncovered how difficult day-to-day life had become for Jews in different areas in Germany. Wearing a yarmulke in public was something that needed to be avoided as it resulted in violence. I went to a small theatre in Bonn to see Arthur Miller’s Broken Glass, a play about the reaction of American Jews to the fate of Jews in Germany in 1938. Very few Germans came, but quite a few from the Jewish community came, including the rabbi who came in with a golf cap to hide his yarmulke. He told me it would be

too dangerous to walk through the streets without the cap. I felt like I had been in a coma and had woken up in a different world. How had I been oblivious to all of this?

I read about Jews in France and Belgium who were taking their kids out

faced because they were Jewish. There were similar reports of this happening to Jews in Germany. I started listening to Jewish journalists who live in Germany, like Benjamin Weinthal, the European correspondent for the Jerusalem Post who gave a talk at the Institute for Studies of

the wall. The hatred towards Israel was growing exponentially and not in relation to other events in the world. Now that I was looking, I started reading reports on groups of Arabs gathering and screaming “Death to the Jews” and “Heil Hitler,” echoes from a Germany that not long ago trumpeted such cries. What a German wouldn’t dare say out loud was now being said by groups of Muslims where this taboo was non-existent.

The question kept gnawing at me: Why didn’t more Jews leave in the early 30s? Why did they wait so long? Was I reading the wrong signs now? Was I too oversensitive?

Some Jews back then did see the signs and somehow managed to leave. And I was convinced that I was seeing the signs now.

Leaving meant giving up everything we owned and taking our two children and immigrating. The risk was high, but the risk to stay seemed even higher.

We immigrated to the United States in July 2016, fearful that the ensuing events in Germany and Europe are pointing in the

Global Antisemitism Policy discussing whether Europe is safe for Jews.

For me the writing was clearly on

direction of disaster. As we build our new life, for the first time in a long time living openly as Jews, I hope I am wrong.

I read about Jews in France and Belgium who were taking their kids out of public schools and putting them into Jewish schools because of the bullying they faced of public schools and putting them into Jewish schools because of the bullying they

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Why I think it’s a good practice to emulate.

’ve been to many (too many) funerals and shivas recently.

I’ve also been reading about the last requests of the leader of our generation, Rabbi Shteinman.

After listening to many eulogies I have my own imperfect understanding of why the great rabbi may have requested that none be said for him.

And why, perhaps, it’s a good practice to emulate.

We begin with humility. A person who knows that all his good is a gift from the Almighty doesn’t want lavish praises sung for him upon his death. He doesn’t want to be held up as someone he wasn’t.

He doesn’t want to confuse or delude others about his accomplishments, real or illusory. He doesn’t want anyone to get the mistaken impression that it was up to him and not the Creator, that it was his actions and not the Almighty’s kindness

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that made him who he was. That is a very lofty and pure motivation. We can only aspire…

But it seems to me there are other reasons as well. In the laws prohibiting gossip, there is something called “avak lashon hara”, the dust of derogatory speech. This refers to comments that, while not negative in and of themselves, may lead to a negative conversation. These comments may in fact be very positive, too positive. My husband was once at a funeral where a man was exalted by the rabbi.

His son later approached my husband to dispute the rabbi’s account and referred to his father in vulgar, derogatory terms.

They clearly had a challenged relationship but I think his comments were spurred by the disconnect between the rabbi’s words and his reality.

We need to be very careful about what we say. Unfortunately that was not To advertise, call 718-513-9885

a one-time unique experience. We were together at a funeral for someone who died tragically young. The eulogies praised her in terms more suited to someone who has lived a long, full life and had the chance to face its challenges and grow into who she was. For someone who had unfortunately missed this opportunity, the words rang hollow. What a sad and unnecessary aftermath of a funeral if the attendees end up discussing their friend or loved one in less than flattering terms.

Since many of us don’t have a personal rabbi who knows us intimately, the words of the officiating rabbi can often ring hollow. They don’t give us an accurate depiction of who this person was. It’s not that they’re insincere (I’m not casting aspersions on his motivation), it’s just that, lacking real knowledge, they leave us with a false picture, either a Disneyfied picture of the most righteous person ever

(she was just like Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah) or an inappropriate picture that reflects his or her challenges (he loved his scotch). I’ve heard both and I think that silence would have been preferred.

After Sarah dies, when Abraham goes to eulogize and bury her, there is a letter in the Hebrew word for weep that is reduced in size. The commentaries reflect that this teaches us that our grief is mostly a private activity. Mourning shouldn’t be a public spectacle.

Yes, we all gather to mourn together but we could stick to the Psalms and the words of the service and leave the commentary for the shiva where there is an opportunity to hear about the person who passed away, to hear true stories from those who loved them and shared their life. I frequently leave a funeral disheartened and a shiva uplifted. I almost always wish I had gotten to know the subject of our mourning better.

Large public funerals put the mourners on display, pressure them to say just the right thing, to demonstrate their grief in just the right socially acceptable way. But in their home, at the shiva, they are free to be themselves, to talk about

Where Taste Meets Elegance

We begin with humility. A person who knows that all his good is a gift from the Almighty doesn’t want lavish praises sung for him upon his death. their loved one, to laugh to cry, to share.

I can’t presume to know Rav Shteinman’s motivation for specifying no eulogies but, based on my personal experiences, it unsurprisingly showed yet another dimension to his great wisdom, and yet another area where we could all learn, grow and be elevated.

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Winter Soups & Stews The perfect dinner meal.

by Sarah Lasry

Warm and delicious for those cold and wet winter days, these soups and stews are super easy to make.

Poor Man’s Beef Stew I am not sure why I call this Poor Man’s Beef Stew. Maybe because it really doesn’t matter what type of combination of Beef, Chicken or Sausages you throw in the pot, it will still always come out tasty and delicious.

Directions: In a large dutch oven on med-high sauté your onions in the olive oil for about 3-4 minutes. Add all the spices and mix well, and sauté for another minute or two.

Ingredients: 1 large onion 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil 1 tsp. of each of the following spices: cumin, ground mustard, ginger, garlic powder, sweet paprika, smoked paprika, turmeric, parsley kosher salt & black pepper to taste 1-2 lb package of flanken (or any beef) 2 stalks celery, diced 2 large carrots. diced 5-6 sweet Italian sausage, cut into bite size pieces ( I use either Meal-mart or jack gourmet brand – in freezer section) 6 medium size red potatoes, cleaned, and cut into cubes with skin on 2 cup good red wine 1 cup beef or chicken broth 1 cup frozen peas 3/4 cup Favorite BBQ Sauce ( I tested a great sauce that I had gotten free at this years kosherfest)

Add the flanken and brown on both sides for about 2 minutes per side. After browning, remove from pot and set aside ( I use my lid as plate) Then add the carrots and celery to the pot. Mix and sauté vegetables for about 2-3 minutes. Add the cut up sausages and potatoes sauté everything for another 3-4 minutes.

Deglaze your pot by adding the red wine, use your wooden spoon to scrape up all the good brown bits that are sticking to the bottom of the pan and mix everything well. Bring the wine to a slow simmer and add back the flanken pieces to the pot.

Add the frozen peas and then pour in the the broth and the BBQ sauce. Mix everything in well.

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Spicy Chicken Corn Chowder I am obsessed with corn chowder. No matter where I go, if they have it on the menu I order it or if I see a recipe for it, I have to try it. Am I the only one?

Ingredients: 2 cups chicken broth 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts Salt and pepper 1 package smoked turkey (about 5-6 slices) 4 pieces pastrami 1 onion, chopped ½ tsp. chili powder ¼ tsp. cilantro ¼ tsp. cayenne pepper 1 tsp. garlic powder ½ tsp. curry powder (optional) 2 15 oz. cans creamed corn 1 can of white and yellow corn niblets ½ cup soy milk

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Directions: Bring chicken broth to a boil in a medium saucepan. Season chicken with salt and pepper and add to pot with broth. Simmer, covered, over medium-low heat 10-15 minutes, flipping chicken half way through. Transfer chicken to plate and reserve broth.

Shred chicken into bite size pieces. Cook smoked turkey, pastrami and onion in soup pot with the spices for about 5 minutes.

Add all corn, cook for 2 minutes. Add reserved chicken broth and bring to a boil. Simmer over medium heat until slightly thickened. Stir in soy milk and chicken and let it cook for another 5 minutes.

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Chicken Tomato Barley Soup You know what they say about Chicken Soup being for the Soul –Well this twist on traditional chicken soup is for when I am feeling cold and achy and need something really satisfying.

Ingredients: 1 lb chicken wings or chicken thighs 1 extra large parsnip (or 2 medium), peeled & chopped 2 carrots, peeled & chopped 1 1/2 cups sliced mushrooms (I used bay portabella because that’s what I had in fridge – but any will do) 2 stalks celery, chopped 1 sweet potato, peeled 1 small onion, cut into quarters 1/2 inch piece of fresh ginger 3 large cloves of garlic 1 handful of fresh parsley

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1 handful of fresh dill 1 1/2 cup barley 2 cups crushed tomatoes kosher salt to taste black pepper to taste Directions: In a large pot add all your ingredients . I put the fresh parsley and fresh dill in a cheesecloth before putting in the soup. Fill the pot with water and then cook on stove on high until starts to boil , about 20 minutes, and then lower flame to medium low and continue to cook for another 1 1/2 hours.

FYI – I use a 10 quart pot and about 10-12 cups of water depending on how chunky I cut my vegetables.

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