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5

by Slovie Jungreis-Wolff

Parenting Goals for Every Family

W

How to ensure your children have a productive year.

e begin the school year with blank notebooks, pages fresh and clean.

Backpacks are free of crumbs and leaked box drinks. Children wake up early in anticipation. We try to get to school a bit before the morning bell and start the year off on the right track.

But slowly the familiar patterns start to appear. The kids are going to sleep way past bedtime, waking up with just a few moments to spare. A child leaves his notebook in school and must scramble to find a friend whose fax machine is working. Nights spent struggling over homework for hours, studying for tests left for the last minute, assignments forgotten, cliques and social politics – it feels as if we are going backwards instead of forward.

How can we make this year different from all the others? How can we take our hopes and wishes for positive change and turn them into a reality?

Transition between summer and school can be difficult for children – and for parents. Any change in life can bring nervousness, worry, and irritability.

Children often have a hard time adjusting

10

to new situations, unfamiliar teachers, and the more rigid schedule needed during the school year. When feeling overwhelmed, our kids may express their emotions through becoming argumentative, fighting more often with siblings, or withdrawing into themselves. And parents can find it difficult to keep calm and not lose themselves in anger when things don’t go right.

Instead of just accepting that this is the way our home is meant to be, let us think about reachable goals that we can work on.

When we create a plan, we can do away with unnecessary failures and strive to help our children feel and be more successful.

My 5 Parenting Goals

1. Keep My Eyes Open

Sometimes we notice that something does not feel right with a child but we get distracted. We are all very busy, it’s true. We have great pressures and responsibilities pulling us in too many directions. The child who seems a little ‘off ’, not himself, snappy or more quiet than usual is trying to tell us something. But it is easy to tuck

this information away in a back pocket and only realize that something is wrong when a crisis occurs. We then think back and recognize that the signs were there, we were just too preoccupied to pay attention.

Don’t allow problems with your child to fester and grow. Open your eyes and observe if a child seems sad, withdrawn, distant, more moody than usual, or angry.

Recognize if there seems to be greater confrontation between this child and siblings, if friends stop calling or coming over, or if the child can’t seem to find his place in school. Because before you know it, half the year can go by and what could have been a small problem has now become a ‘situation’ that requires major time and investment and causes terrible aggravation.

2. Develop a Working Relationship with Teachers

Reach out to your child’s teachers before your child reaches ‘zero hour.’

Many parents feel as if teachers are their opponents and don’t realize that we are are all here to try and help our children grow

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When children feel as if they are gaining skills and becoming self-sufficient, they grow more confident in their abilities. in the best way possible. If you think that there may be an issue, it is a good idea to set up a meeting with the teacher and ask how you can work in harmony. Too many parents call teachers to demand and accuse instead of saying that we would like to solve this problem together. Before going to the principal with a complaint, see if you can first diffuse the situation.

If there are any special concerns going on in your home, do not wait for the teacher to find out through your child’s acting up in class or failure to keep up with schoolwork and poor grades.

When a grandparent falls ill, if there is a health issue, financial stress, marital upheaval, problems with siblings, or any other factor that may affect your child’s academic or social success, it would be wise to enlist your child’s teacher as your confidential ally and gain her/his understanding. You can believe that most teachers would go the extra mile and extend to your child an open heart.

3. Work on Social Skills

Help your child be successful this year by preparing him not just academically, but also socially. School is not simply about getting straight A’s, it is also about learning how to get on with others and knowing how to develop friendships. A child who is happy in school is a child who can focus on studying and doing well. He wants to be there and be a part of things.

One who believes that school is all about academics and no social life unfortunately makes a big mistake.

How can we better teach our children social skills?

Set rules and follow through with consequences when needed.

Set routines for meals and bedtimes that establish stability.

Develop your child’s ability to put

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himself in the shoes of others and grow more sensitive.

Help your child learn how to express frustration, disappointment and anger without hurting others or retreating into sullenness.

Establish basic rules of conduct: no hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, (no hands allowed), and no hurting others through our words.

4. Help Children Independent

Become

When children feel as if they are gaining skills and becoming self-sufficient, they grow more confident in their abilities.

You will watch their self-esteem take off.

Each year, every child should be able to point with pride to a newfound skill or added responsibility that comes with age.

We can help our children grow independent and flourish by: Teaching our children to pick out their clothing, dress themselves as they grow older, tie their own shoes, pack school snacks, make lunches the night before, set their own alarm clocks instead of waking them up, and having children put away their books and organizing themselves.

Allow a young child to complete puzzles and feed himself on his own and as he grows, to do his homework and projects by himself. It is much healthier to tell a child that you will check his work when he is done instead of sitting beside him and correcting the answers as he goes along.

Book reports and science projects should not be parent’s homework.

Have your child help around the house and gain responsibilities instead of waiting to be served. Some skills children can help with are putting away laundry, setting and clearing the table, helping to serve guests, baking, cooking and keeping their room in order.

5. Communicate with Each Child

Our children should never be afraid to speak with us. No matter how tough the topic, even if they messed up badly, they should not fear that we will hate them or want to close the door on them.

Our love must be unconditional. True, there may be consequences or emotions of disappointment, but they must know that we are here for them. After all, we are their parents and if they cannot believe in our love for them, whose love can they believe in?

Work on communicating with your child this year. I am not just speaking about when you must call him in with a problem like failing grades or after you received a call from his teacher. I am talking about daily interactions where you share a smile, a good word, a laugh, a story, or a meal together. The main thing is that you put the time and energy in so that he knows that he matters in your life.

Talk to your child every day-even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Put down your iPhone , turn off your laptop when your child (or you) return home, at mealtimes and story times, and when you pick your child up from school.

Look at him and make eye contact while having a conversation.

Speak to your child in the tone and with the words that you wish he would use with others.

Express your love every day, no matter how tough the day.

I know that some days will bring unforeseen difficulties and that some children seem more challenging than others. But at least we will know in our hearts that we have tried our best to help our children navigate the road of life successfully.

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Breaking Negative Cycles in Marriage

by Jenny Shain BASW Arguments occur in every marriage and quite often reflect a deeper discord of underlying issues. The cause of conflict may be simple. For example, Rick leaves his socks on the floor even though Sara repeatedly asks him not to. But a bigger piece of the puzzle is the meaning Sara gives to what just happened. This is known as the 90/10 principle: 10% of the problem is in the here and now, while 90% is based on past associations and experiences.

Those socks are a trigger point.

Take these two examples: Jake is looking at his cellphone while Rachel is talking to him and she gets upset, angry and withdraws. Rachel’s sharp, critical comments to Jake make him feel emasculated and disempowered, so he stays at work later. Although many women feel irritated when their husband’s attention is elsewhere, for Rachel it is

20

particularly painful because her mother was emotionally cut off and not available to listen to her. Jake is deeply affected by Rachel’s criticism because his mother was controlling and domineering.

Allie doesn’t follow through on practical stuff which she promised to do, and this upsets Steve. He feels let down and alone, and becomes distant and sighs heavily. This causes Allie to feel resentful and despondent. Steve’s father was kind but unreliable; Allie’s behavior makes Steve feel insecure and anxious. She comes from a family where emotions were not clearly expressed, so Steve’s sighing is threatening to her. Allie and Steve’s responses to each other are amplified by their previous relationship experiences.

Every relationship has its negative cycles and sore points where partners hurt each other. In these examples and with so many couples I’ve worked with, the parallels between current difficulties and

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past dynamics are remarkably apparent.

What is behind this dynamic? Why don’t we choose a more effective, updated response?

According to Imago Relationship theory, we unconsciously choose the same type of relationship challenge, firstly because it feels familiar, but also because we actually seek to work through the original problem. We can only do this by being in the difficulty again and finding our way out of it, by transforming the hurting relationship into a healing one.

So how do we break out of the negative cycle? Here are some ideas, at the risk of over-simplifying.

Try to identify or become conscious of your own sensitivity and where it comes from. In this way you will take responsibility for your part of the problem and not put it all on your partner, even though the difficulty exists in the relationship also.

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Look at how your behavior or response fuels the negative cycle.

See the cycle as having its own life story. This will reduce the blame.

Try moving away from the ‘who started it’ cycle. It really doesn’t matter and generally it’s a chicken/egg story.

Try seeing the problem in less global or all-or-nothing terms.

Try discussing the issue in a less emotional, accusatory way.

Try to gain some perspective on the problem, including your own part in it instead of attacking your partner.

Keep in mind that your spouse has his or her own emotional reality which is also valid, even if it is different to yours.

Don’t let the past rule your response to the present.

You may not reach complete agreement but you can attempt to be genuinely interested in your partner’s experience.

Hold onto your own truth even if your partner tries to invalidate it.

Instead of trying to be right, try to share, listen, and understand. View yourself as two parts of a whole which can complement and work together rather than as one having to be valid and true.

Sometimes professional help is needed to help identify the negative cycle and untangle the knots of which actions, thoughts and words triggered off which responses. This can be an intricate, fascinating and potentially extremely rewarding and growing experience!

May we merit to constantly grow in understanding ourselves and our partners and create a closer relationship.

Reprinted with permission from aish.com MAGAZINE

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by Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

Elul: The Time for Closeness

by Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

R

With only 30 days left in the year, Elul is a time of yearning, forgiveness and return.

emember!

Only 30 more shopping days left!”

The last week of November was a magical time back in the “Old Country.”

I never endangered my life shopping at Filenes which, in those far off times, was only in Boston. Macy’s was still the site of many near-death experiences for those of us who like the adrenalin rush of hunting for bargains. The nonstop hype was delivered breathlessly and repetitively.

“Just today, ladies and gentleman. Yes! Just today!” was a typical opening for a 10% reduction on socks. It all ended with New Years, leaving precious little behind in its wake, other than the disheartening return to facing the juggernaut of routine soul-numbing life as usual.

Everything is different when the Jewish month of Elul arrives. It, too, is 30 days before the Big Day, which in this case is Rosh Hashana. It is not a time in which we strive to find some sort of balance between shopping and dropping. It is a time of love, yearning, reconciliation,

34

forgiveness, and return.

What does “return” really mean? What are we trying to get back to? Jeremiah proclaimed, “Return, virgin of Israel, return to these, your cities” (Jeremiah 31:20). We are compared to a virgin, who can at last return to her betrothed groom, and to an exile who is able to return to the land now rebuilt, that was last seen empty and desolate.

No one can return to a place they have never been to. Have we ever really felt close to God and yearned for Him the way a bride yearns for her beloved? Have we ever really identified so closely with the fate of the Jewish people that our personal achievements fail to provide us with enough satisfaction to dull the ache of national estrangement from what we were meant to be as a people?

For many of us the answer is silence.

And for many there are moments of beauty and connection that we wish would last forever. There are times when we feel totally connected to the Jewish nation as a whole, glued to the news. How many Katyushas? Do I know anyone in Haifa?

What can I do to help?

BODY AND SOUL MICROCOSM The difference between the way we relate to Elul and how we relate to the end of November is a microcosm of the way we relate to our bodies and our souls.

The body wants to own, to buy more and more. The soul wants connection, deeper and deeper.

The great illusion of life is that the body (which we all intellectually recognize as only mortal) feels real and permanent. The soul (which we all know is infinite since it part of God Himself), feels vaguely unreal because it is intangible.

The sages tell us, “One moment of return and good deeds in this world is worth more than the whole life in the World to Come” (Ethics of the Fathers, 4:17). This is the world of enormous spiritual opportunity. It is the setting of “trial by fire,” as our passions, jealousies, petty hatreds, burn within us. Every victory has profound impact on our connection to God and to man. In the deepest sense, our self-esteem is built, brick by brick, by choosing to conquer our impulsivity and

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The book of Psalms gives us words that touch the essence of every possible human experience from the deepest possible angle. cravings. The problem is that we are too myopic to see the panoramic vista that this sort of battle opens up within us.

We are too busy fighting. We fail, again and again. We let our failures define us and erode our belief in the fact that we are fighting a winnable battle. We all too often submit to the dictates of our bodies and silence the yearnings of the soul. We give up the struggle.

One of my recurring nightmares is one in which I see myself as a patient in an old age home. I am sitting near a Formica table in a large room with a T.V. blasting away at no one in particular. Lunch, served in cheery orange melmac, is in front of me.

My last words as I leave the planet are, “I asked for white meat.”

That’s it. No Shema. No bedside farewell accompanied by blessings and moral instruction. The winner and all time champ is the body, soon to be interred in the earth from which it was formed. In my worst nightmare the soul is the undisputed runner up in the most significant race that any one of us will ever run.

What makes it even worse is that daylight doesn’t relegate the nightmare to the cobwebs of subconscious thought; the fearful vision is completely plausible.

In fact, the Talmud tells us that there is no way that the soul can possibly win the battle without help from its Creator.

GOD IS NEAR This time of year is the time when God’s closeness to us is most easily grasped. It is as though an invisible curtain that we ourselves designed through bad choices, fear and pain can now be drawn aside. Elul is compared to the time of year MAGAZINE

that God, by way of parable, is likened to a human king who resides in his palace and is virtually inaccessible to the average person. Once a year, the king tours his kingdom with the goal of getting to know his subjects. Anyone can go to the royal personage and tell him whatever is on his mind and in his heart know that the king is there to hear him.

How do we find the King? There are various practices for Elul that attunes us to its power.

1. Recite Psalm 27. King David, the Talmud tells us, was given some of Adam’s lifespan. Thus, like Adam, his soul is a composite of every soul that will ever be placed in a body. The book of Psalms gives us words that touch the essence of every possible human experience from the deepest possible angle. Psalm 27 is the one that helps us resolve the conflict between our bodies and our souls. The first verse says it all, “God is my light.”

This means that He not only created the physical world, but He guides us through it with His light. Just as turning on a light in a dark room helps a child to recognize that lions and tigers are really just coat racks and blankets, we can similarly let God’s light remove our fears, sins, and limitations..

2. Reciting Selichot. The Selichot prayers begin in Elul (Sefardic Jews begin on the first of Elul, while Ashkenazi Jews begin the last Motzei Shabbat) and continue until Yom Kippur. The main theme in selichot is the 13 Attributes of Divine Mercy. God revealed His true nature to Moses when he begged to know God as much as a mortal can.

Ultimately God is unknowable. Our

ability to know is limited by the fact that we live in time which distorts our sense of reality. We are physical and have short lives, and have enormous emotional subjectivity. Because God is unknowable and transcendental, we try to make Him smaller, so to speak, so that He seems more approachable. The worst manifestation of this was the building of the golden calf.

Moses wanted words that would give the Jewish people access to God as much as humanly possible.

Each of the 13 attributes exist within us as well. When we join together as a group and proclaim these attributes aloud as we do during the Selichot prayers, we affirm who God is and who we are. This has such force that the Talmud tells us that the attributes always generate change.

Here is a brief rendition of the attributes and their meaning.

1-2: “God,” “God” (the four-letter YudHeh-Vav-Heh): The Almighty is telling us that He is unchanging. He has infinite compassion for us before we sin, knowing that we are only human, and when we fail to live up to our humanity He is open to our changing and returning. Because of this, His name, which means “Being,” is invoked twice, once for before and once for after our fall and return.

3. “The Force”: Unlike human compassion that is limited by our patience and fragility, God’s compassion is comparable to an unstoppable force.

4. “Who is Merciful”: He gives to the “poor”; those of us who are impoverished spiritually 5. “And full of Grace”: He gives freely

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and in abundance 6. “He is Patient”: God gives us time to change, and when we must endure suffering in order to change our direction, He gives it only to the degree that the person’s individual situation demands.

7. “and has much kindness”: God chooses to judge us favorably when our motivations are mixed 8. “and true”: Even if someone has made many mistakes and done terrible things, God will still reward him for whatever good he has done.

9. “creates kindness for thousands of generations”: He empowers the forces of good to endure forever. An example of this would be that literally everyone who is alive today is affected by the goodness that Abraham, our forefather, did in his lifetime 10. “Carries sins of desire”: God will allow sins to act as a springboard to bring a person to a higher level than they ever could have achieved without repentance.

An example would be the case of someone

36

who takes on himself to keep kosher, and is tempted every time he passes a nonkosher eatery.

11. “and sins of rebellion”: Even when a person is so full of self that he feels a need to control or attack every human or God-given law, if he opens himself God will broaden him enough to see beyond the limits of his ego.

12. “and sins of negligence”: When the source of sin is a passive, uncaring and alienated relationship to life, the source is invariably despair that comes from thinking, “Nothing I do makes much difference anyway.” God will give the greatest gift of all – hope -- when there is willingness to take responsibility. This is true even if the underlying attitude has been there for years.

13. “and cleanses.” Even the callousness that is the seemingly inescapable result of developing bad patterns of responding to life and to other people can literally disappear through tshuvah, repentance.

When we mirror these traits to all of the imperfect people in our lives (meaning everyone including ourselves), we find the

Godliness that is latent in all of us, and strengthen its voice.

When we do our best to change, we must make an honest appraisal of who we are, and the choices we made to emerge as we are now. When we do this honestly, we will notice that we have made mistakes.

The first step to change is confessing what went wrong within us to God. No person should be involved. No one can give spiritual clarity; no one can erase spiritual and emotional damage. The second step is to recognize that all bad choices are ultimately damaging, and to give yourself permission to feel regret. The third step is to make practical down to earth changes in behavior.

If the sins affect other people, then there are two additional steps. The first one is to make material restitution where that is a relevant possibility (for instance returning money that you know is not yours if you use the Torah’s standards), and the second is to achieve reconciliation by asking forgiveness.

Let’s be sure to use the month of Elul well, to let it draw us to living authentically, and to feel greater openness, Reprinted with permission from love and forgiveness. aish.com

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Women of Valor

The

Chafetz Chaim’s Wife

S

he was married to one of the most esteemed, venerated rabbis of all time; a rabbi whose works are arguably the most studied Judaic literature today, and whose books have been printed in hundreds of editions in various languages, in hardcover, softcover, pocket-size, giant-size, referred to in calendars, and divided up according to the month and year. Her husband’s appellation, the “Chafetz Chaim,” is a household word, but her own first name is virtually unknown.

40

Books have been written extolling her husband’s virtues and vast Torah knowledge, but the information we have about her is scarce. However, since her saintly husband himself testified that he was only able to reach his elevated level of spirituality in merit of his wife, it behooves us to sift through the limited information we have about her in order to piece together a sketch of her personality and accomplishments.

Her name was Frieda*, and she

BY DINI HARRIS

was the daughter of Reb Shimon, the Chafetz Chaim’s mother’s second husband. Frieda was older than the Chafetz Chaim and she did not possess a dowry befitting this great Torah scholar. These and other legitimate reasons caused the Chafetz Chaim’s family to adamantly oppose the match. However, Reb Shimon, the Chafetz Chaim’s stepfather, was enamored of his saintly stepson, and insisted that the shidduch take place.

Worried about his mother’s shalom bayis and for the feelings of his future wife, the Chafetz Chaim characteristically put aside these technical considerations and went through with the marriage.

In later reflections over the situation, the Chafetz Chaim stated that when one of his yeshiva friends married a wealthy girl, everyone rejoiced that he had made a “great” shidduch. However, over the years his friend joined his father-inlaw’s business and eventually became a simple ba’alebas. In contrast, it was the virtue of his wife, who allowed him to dedicate himself to Torah, that made him “worthy of being called a mentsch.”

Perhaps the greatest legacy of Rebbetzin Frieda Kagan is that she lived her entire life with the title “the wife of the

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The Chafetz Chaim attested that he was able to attain his level of Torah learning because his wife never asked him to buy her a new dress.

Chafetz Chaim” and with the goal of allowing her husband to grown and shine in Torah. She married the Chafetz Chaim when he was just 17 years old.

Though of course at this young age his middos were already exemplary and his Torah knowledge vast, he was not yet the venerated gadol hador. Even so, she accepted his austere lifestyle as her own.

She did not second-guess his decisions or complain about their deprived physical conditions.

The descriptions of the Chafetz Chaim’s house are the descriptions of a house that she made into a home. It was furnished with simple chairs and benches, nothing more. Fulfilling her role as the wife of the Chafetz Chaim, Rebbetzin Frieda did not protest this lack of luxuries. In fact, her own perception of luxuries matched that of her sainted husband. The Chafetz Chaim attested that he was able to attain his level of Torah learning because his wife never asked him to buy her a new dress.

She witnessed her husband’s growth in Torah and did her utmost to ensure that he would be able to dedicate himself to his studies. When they were first married, they were supported by Rebbetzin Frieda’s father. The Chafetz Chaim secluded himself each day in the beis midrash in Radin, and his dedicated wife would come twice daily to bring him his meals. He would spend many nights on a bench in the beis midrash.

His wife accepted this lifestyle without objection, and didn’t bother him with requests that he spend “quality time” with her.

In order to further ensure that her husband would be able to learn Torah without worldly cares, Rebbetzin Frieda opened a small dry-goods store in Radin.

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Besides running her home and raising her children, she would spend her days managing the business. She willingly accepted this time-consuming, draining task in order to further her husband’s Torah studies.

Despite all her efforts, at first the store brought in only a minimal amount of income. As her husband’s reputation as a righteous person grew, the townspeople started making a point of making their purchases at her store. Her income finally started to grow, and perhaps she was starting to envision providing her family with a little more than the bare minimum. But no. Her husband the Chafetz Chaim

was worried that this new influx of customers was detracting from their competitors’ business. He decided that their store would only be open in the morning, forcing their customers to shop at other stores in the afternoon.

Notwithstanding her visions of a more comfortable future, Rebbetzin Frieda deferred to her husband without protest.

But it was more than just accepting her husband’s words and way of life.

Rebbetzin Frieda’s character was ingrained with her own desires for Torah and negation of physical luxuries.

When she accompanied her son to purchase a suit for his wedding, the

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Rebbetzin Frieda turned to the storekeeper in anger. “Who asked you for such a blessing?” she said. “Bless him instead that he should become a talmid chacham and that he should grow in yiras Shamayim.”

In addition to her more passive role of allowing the Chafetz Chaim to dedicate himself to his studies, Rebbetzin Frieda actively assisted the Chafetz Chaim whenever possible.

Initially the students at her husband’s yeshiva would essen teg—eat at different local families each day of the week. However, the Chafetz Chaim saw that this was a potentially degrading situation for the yeshiva students. A kitchen was opened at the yeshiva. Rebbetzin Frieda and her two daughters would go around the

village collecting foodstuffs and would then personally cook meals for the yeshiva students.

Her sincere, unpretentious manners were appreciated by all.

In the biography he wrote about his father, her son, Rav Aryeh Leib HaKohen, discusses his mother’s kindheartedness and consideration.

After her death, she was tearfully eulogized by all members of her family, including her sons-in-law. Moreover, he declared that everyone who knew her had been the beneficiary of her kindness at some point or the other.

He additionally describes the Chafetz Chaim’s feelings of loss after his wife’s death. Rebbetzin Frieda was the pillar of their home, and the mainstay of his life. It was difficult for the Chafetz Chaim to imagine reestablishing his home without this bastion of support.

Remarkably, Rebbetzin Frieda’s son attests that she didn’t even know how to read or write. Yet, she was aware of her true role and responsibilities. She had no need for personal accomplishments that revolved around her own selfactualization. Instead, her ultimate spiritual achievement was that she was able to completely identify with her true role as an enabler to her husband’s accomplishments. By completely submitting herself to her husband’s needs and facilitating his tremendous spiritual growth, she personified the ultimate eishes chayil. * Note: This article discusses the Chafetz Chaim’s first wife, whom he married at age 17. He remarried after her death, when he was about 67. His second wife is buried in Queens, New York.

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Seasonal End of Summer Delights Rhubarb & Strawberries

As we enjoy the last days of summer with its warm weather we find many fruits and vegetable in season this time of year. As soon as we hit this time of year my husband and I clamor to enjoy rhubarb, as it brings back memories of how our mothers served lots of this vegetable at this time of year. The markets are brimming with the last crops of rhubarb and strawberries.

Rhubarb is it a fruit? Is it a vegetable? I am not sure (research shows that it is actually considered a vegetable) but being very sour it is mostly used with generous amounts of sweetener. Rhubarb has a lot of healthy properties such as high amount of fiber

58

and a generous dose of vitamin K and C. A good thing to remember is that rhubarb leaves are toxic, due to high levels of oxalic acid. Every serving of rhubarb provides 45% of the daily value in vitamin K, which supports healthy bone growth and can limit neuronal damage in the brain, even to the point of Alzheimer’s prevention.

Strawberries are also very abundant in the markets and they pair very well with rhubarb.

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Rhubarb Juice Juicing is refreshing and a healthy way to get more vegetables into your system.

Juicing fresh vegetables is an excellent way of getting extra nutrition. This juice should optimally be consumed first thing in the morning.

We drink a cup of juice every morning. It gives us energy and it feels very healthy, as it is all natural, no extras added. We try to buy our produce organic or /and local whenever possible, for added benefits.

Ingredients 3 stalks rhubarb peeled 1/2 English cucumber 2 stalks celery 1 green apple.

Directions In a good juicer that discards the pulp, juice all these vegetables and drink right away.

Serves 2

Rhubarb & Strawberry Soup During the summer take advantage of these seasonal produce for a refreshing soup. Combining the right amount of sweet strawberries with the tartness of rhubarb and sugar is a winning combination. Chilled rhubarb and strawberry soup is very refreshing. It is a wonderful suggestion for the last Shabbat meal seudah Shlishis.

Ingredients 1 bunch rhubarb, peeled and cut into 1/4 inch chunks 2 cups hulled and sliced fresh strawberries 4 cups water 4 ounces fresh orange juice 1/2 cup sugar 3/4 cup non-fat or low fat Vanilla Yogurt (optional) 4 fresh Mint Leaves Directions

60

Use a pan large enough to hold all of the ingredients as rhubarb releases a lot of liquid. Bring rhubarb and strawberries to a boil. Reduce heat to medium, cover and cook for about 7 minutes, or until the rhubarb is tender. Remove from the heat and let cool. Add the strawberries, orange juice, sugar and 1/2 cup of the yogurt and blend with an immersion hand blender. Cover and refrigerate for at least one hour or until it is well chilled.

To serve: Pour the soup into four small chilled bowls. Place a dollop of yogurt and a fresh mint leaf on each bowl.

Preparation 15 minutes Serves 4-6

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Fluffy Rhubarb & Strawberry Dessert Variation Even though this recipe is very similar to the one above it is served as dessert instead of soup. This is the way rhubarb was served in my grandma’s home. It was passed down to me by my mother. It brings back fond memories.

Ingredients 5 stalks Rhubarb, peeled and cut into 1.4 inch chunks 2 cups hulled and sliced fresh strawberries 1 cup orange juice 1/2 cup sugar or to taste 2 eggs separated 1/2 cup sugar Directions Use a pan large enough to hold all of the ingredients. Bring rhubarb and strawberries and water to a boil with the orange juice. Reduce heat to medium, cover and cook for about 10 minutes, or until the rhubarb is tender. Remove from the heat and allow to cool completely.

Separate eggs and beat egg whites with sugar into a snow. When peaks form add the yolks to the whites very gingerly and then pour it into the cooled soup mixing gently.

Garnish with strawberries and serve as dessert at the end of any meal.

Preparation 20 minutes Serves 6-8

Rhubarb Pie Ingredients 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 2 tsp granulated sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup cold, transfat free margarine cubed 4 to 5 tbsp ice-cold water FILLING 7 cups chopped fresh rhubarb, cut

into 1/2-in. pieces 2 bunches 1 cup granulated sugar 1 Tbs vanilla 1 egg beaten 1 Tbs water 1 tsp coarse sugar Directions . Preheat oven to 375F.

To make the dough mix flour with 2 tablespoons granulated sugar and salt in a food processor. Add margarine. Pulse until finely crumbled. With machine still running, add water, 1 tablespoon at a time, through the spout and continue beating until a ball forms, 30 seconds. Divide pastry in half. Form into 2 discs. Wrap each with plastic and chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Combine rhubarb with 1 cup granulated sugar in a large saucepan. Bring to a boil then reduce heat to medium. Cook, stirring often, until mixture is very thick and

reduced to 2 1/2 cups, 20 to 35 minutes. (Time will depend on water content of rhubarb.) Stir in vanilla and cool slightly, 5 minutes.

Beat egg with water in small bowl. On a lightly floured surface, roll out 1 pastry disc into a 13-in. circle. Lift onto a 9-inch. metal pie pan set on a baking sheet. Press dough over bottom and up sides of pan, leaving 1-inch. overhang. Scrape rhubarb mixture into pastry. Brush overhang with egg wash.

Roll out second pastry disc into a 12-inch circle, about 1/8 in. thick. Cut into 12 3/4-inch. strips. This will be used to make the lattice topping. Place strips in crisscross shape over the pie. Brush lattice and overhang with egg wash. Sprinkle with coarse sugar. Bake in lower third of oven until golden brown, 50 to 60 minutes, Remove to a rack to cool completely, about 1 hour.

PREP 40 MIN

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TOTAL 1 HOUR 40 MIN PLUS 1 HOUR COOLING MAKES 8 SERVINGS Tip: To make tarts, shape one-third of the pastry into a cube.

Divide remaining pastry into 4 discs. Wrap each with plastic and chill for 30 min. Roll discs into 7-in. circles. Press pastry into 4 4-in. tart pans (1 1/4 in. deep) set on a baking sheet, leaving 1-in. overhang. Brush overhang with egg wash. Divide rhubarb mixture among pastry shells. Roll out pastry cube into a 10-in. square, about 1/8 in. thick. Cut in half, making 2 rectangles, then cut each piece crosswise into 12 3/4-in. strips, creating 24 strips 5 in. long. Lay 3 strips vertically across each tart. Follow instructions for lattice top above. Bake in lower third of oven until golden brown, 40 to 50 min. Transfer to a rack to cool completely.

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Strawberry Rhubarb Sauce A delicious sauce to have on hand to enhance any dessert or served as compote.

Ingredients 6 stalks rhubarb 1 pint strawberries 1cup sugar 1 Tbs cornstarch 1 cup water Directions Place rhubarb in a microwave-safe dish large enough to hold 8 cups (2 L).

Sprinkle with sugar and cornstarch, mixed with water then toss to evenly coat. Cover with plastic wrap vented at one corner. Microwave on high, 6 to 8 minutes, then stir in strawberries.

Continue microwaving, uncovered and stirring once, until thick and bubbly, 3-6 minutes.

Great warm or cold. Serve over your favorite sponge cake, fresh fruits, ice cream or lemon sorbet. Cover and refrigerate up to 5 days.

Preparation 10 minutes Serves 6 Enjoy the last weeks left of summer!

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CLASSIFIEDS Bringing you the Buzz on Savings & Event

HELP WANTED Chassidishe boy’s cheder seeking female nursery assistant graduates preffered 347-372-6772 Co teacher female preschool Yid. Speaking . Grt pay. Grt envir. Grt oppty 646-281-5965 Do-All Travel hiring f/t H/s or sem grad.

Exc pay gd potential heim office 347-564-0425 Bpoffice18@gmail.com

Manager ,exp. For supermarket in Edison NJ 646- 523-1907 Nursery & Pre Nursery Teachers & Assist.

In Flatbush & Marine Pk Yeshiva fax 718-252-7797 email resume preschool@ ohrshraga.org

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LOST

Companion for an older/young at heart woman to help w/ light housework& go along to appointments . pls call 347-915-5401 Secretary in Flatbush F/T grad prerred. Will need excellent phone and communication skills , Must be efficient org. and able to multitask Good knowledge of computer , QuickBooks, and excel E mail resume to: jlifestyle@gmail.com or call 347-623-9179.

Manager for BP store energetic 929-271-2664 Manager needed for busy BP office, full time . great salary, exp. A must email resume 4141jobs@gmail .com

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718- 633-5237 Emty gold gift bag from creative elements August 8 bet Bedford / Wallabout/park 718 387-2347

TUTOR 3 provider for 15 yr. Chassdish Bochur in BP 718- 372- 1198

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BUZZ!

FOUND Found few envelopes with money , apparently counselor tips , 47/ 14-15 347-383-5732 Found Black man’s hat in Labcorp located on 2044 Ocean Avenue in the beginning of july 718- 252-0532 12 KBTU A/C. 718- 435-1583 Baby Bassinets Gemach Chana Zissel in Williamsburg. 718- 384- 5204 Att parents & resource room directors P3exchange can help you find the right P3 provider p3exchange@gmail.coom Advocate for impartial Hearing Gemach Receive all needed sessions of speech , OT,PT &P3 347-874- 6152 Tifilin, no names on the bag. If no answer leave detailed msg. 845-200-1435 Black&Pink handbag w/ clothing , headband,book. Wallabout/Bedford BP bus stop . 347-598-1624

Lost denim Maclaren quest stroller in July 12/41 area call /text: 718-501-3965

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Lost Gold earring w/ hanging pearl on shbs in Aug. 929-271-2664

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Hairstyling for Kallahs Minimal Fee. 718- 853-8679

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free classified ads are placed as received not edited on a first come first serve basis

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Haircutting&styling Gemach very low price 718-809-3460 Gown Gemach Simchas Chinka Large selection of beautiful gowns for mother & sister of bride. Sizes preteen- adults 18.

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BUZZ!

Jewerler will fix broken pieces 347-709-1598 Cell phone Gemach if you have a cell phone or charger in working condition that you know longer use , why not satisfy another jew 718-853-4527 or 732-484-7051 Centerpiece Gemach flowewrs centerpieces for Bar Mitzvah718-633-1850 Cake Cutter Gemach exstra large , 16th double handled knife , for easier cutting sheet cakes & more even slices 718-437-4338 Bris Gemach Bris outfits & pillow Gemach in Flatbush 917- 838 – 2191 Chair Gemach in Williamburg 718- 384- 1803

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