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The Shmuz on the Parsha

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

Middos- Central to all Avodas HASHEM Parshas Chayai Sarah

E

liezer, the faithful servant of Avraham, was charged with finding a wife for Yitzchak.

Knowing full well the gravity of his mission, he also recognized its difficulty. The woman he would choose was to be a partner in creating the genetic transmission to shape a nation; she was to be the mother of the Jewish People. The issue was: how to find her? Of the untold number of eligible women, how would he determine which was the right one?

The Torah tells us Eliezer’s system: And it will be that the maiden to whom I will say, “Please give me to drink,” and she will answer, “Please drink, and I will give your camels to drink as well.” She will be the one that You have proven to be the wife for Yitzchak.

Not a sign, but a test

Rashi explains that Eliezer wasn’t using an arbitrary sign; this was the determinant of the woman best suited to enter into the house of Avrohom. A woman who was so giving that she would go out of her way to help a complete stranger, even by offering to care for his camels, was the one to be the wife of Yitzchak.

And that in fact is what happened. No sooner did Eliezer get to the well than he met Rivka. He asked her for something to drink, and as the Siforno explains, he

4

was astounded by her reaction. The speed with which she moved, the energy with which she ran to fill the jug of water – it was amazing. A camel walking in the desert can drink enough in one sitting to last several days. Eliezer watched, mouth agape, as Rivka ran back and forth, refilling her jug time after time, until he and his ten camels were sated. He knew that he had found the right girl. So without even asking her name, without inquiring into her family, he betrothed her to his master, to Yitzchak.

Middos are but one part of the package

The difficulty with this Rashi is that Eliezer used one limited criteria to find the perfect match for Yitzchak. Let’s grant that this woman had perfect middos and was truly a baalas chessed – that is but one part of the person. Eliezer didn’t ask her a word about her religious beliefs. Perhaps she was an idol worshiper like her father and her brother. She might well have been a “stargazer,” as were many people living at that time. It seems that Eliezer picked one limited focus to the exclusion of everything else, and in doing so, he took a great risk.

The answer to this question lies in understanding the centrality of middos in our Avodas HASHEM. When HASHEM created the human, He made us of two

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distinct parts. There is a part of me that is preprogrammed to do everything that is good, right and proper. There is a full half of me that only wants to be generous, magnanimous, and giving. This is my Nishomah, born of the highest elements in the cosmos. It yearns for a loving relationship with my Creator. And then there is another part of me: the Nefesh HaBahami. This part is the same living substance that occupies every animal in the world. It is made up of pure drives and instincts. It has no wisdom; it operates out of passions, appetites, and hungers.

And it cares about nothing other than filling those hungers.

And so, the human is comprised of two distinct, competing parts. These two elements manifest themselves in everything that we do. One or the other is constantly gaining primacy over the person. The more that I allow my pure Nishoma to come to the fore, the stronger its urges and desires for greatness become.

The more that I give in to my animal instinct, the stronger that it becomes. The human is in constant battle, with one or the other gaining primacy.

These two parts manifest themselves in everything that we do.

When I see another person suffering, there is actually a battle going on inside of me. Part of me cries out with that person. “Oy, a Jew in pain! What can I do to lighten his load? How can I help?” And

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part of me just couldn’t care less. There is a part of me that just isn’t interested in him or anything else for that matter. All it cares about is fulfilling its needs and desires.

Therefore, every situation in life is a test – a test to see which part comes to the fore, which part gains control over me.

When I do engage in an act of kindness, the battle becomes even more pitched. Part of me screams out inside, “What are you doing? You need that money! Why are you giving it to someone else? Who cares about him? Take care of your needs!” And part of me feels a deep sense of inner peace and accomplishment, knowing that I am fulfilling my purpose in Creation.

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What Eliezer witnessed at the well was a human being who reached such a high level of perfection that he was awestruck.

For a woman to run out, time after time, filling jug after jug of water for someone she didn’t know was a complete act of selflessness. It demonstrated that she had reached a fabulously high level of self-perfection. She clearly had conquered her nature. Her physical side was diminished, and her Nishomah was shining brightly. She may not have had all of the knowledge of serving HASHEM, but once introduced to it, she would cling to HASHEM with a powerful bond. For this woman to come to perfect Avodas HASHEM was merely a matter of adding water to instant soup.

This concept has great relevance to us in that it helps us understand why chessed is so central to everything that we do. HASHEM is the ultimate Giver. He created this world to give of His good to man. However that good has to be earned.

To allow for this, HASHEM put us in the perfect laboratory of growth called life. We were put into a body that only desires and knows its own needs, and our Nishomah is given the challenge of overcoming those natural instincts and learning to care for others so that it can reach spiritual heights. When man conquers his inner nature he emulates HASHEM, making himself more like his Creator. By perfecting himself this way, he lives up to the reason he was put on the planet.

Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz.com – The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues.

All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at www. theShmuz.com or on the Shmuz App for iphone or Android.

Simply text the word “TheShmuz” to the number 313131 and a link will be sent to your phone to download the App.

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Att: Past issues may have inadvertently Sheimos, Please disgard this Magazine accordingly in geniza Thank You.

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When Your Defenses are Down

by Emuna Braverman

How to be your best self even when your exhausted and tired.

I

’m still recovering from the holidays – they were wonderful but I am completely and utterly exhausted. As I always tell my daughters who are up in the night with their newborns, “Being tired is not a fatal disease.” I’m not sure they find it comforting but it’s true. Not only that, there is a certain pleasure in feeling tired – it somehow validates your hard work – and justifies your subsequent rest!

The real challenge to being tired is that our defenses are down, our self-control is weakened and we are less able to fight against our yetzer hara, our negative inclination.

If we are trying to eat healthy, it’s much easier when we’re full of energy i.e. at the beginning of the day and much more difficult when we’re worn out at the end of the day. It’s no big deal to exercise self-control at breakfast. At dinner I may

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barely notice what I’m eating. And don’t even get me started on those before-bed snacks…

If we are trying to exercise, we are more motivated in the morning and can barely move at night.

If we are working on our marriage, it’s much easier to be smiling and patient when we say good-bye to our spouse in the morning and much more difficult to maintain the same good cheer when we reconvene at the end of the day. And at bedtime, when the complete and utter exhaustion really kicks in, even polite conversation, let alone dmc’s (look how cool I am) can be a challenge.

In fact, any and all of the ways in which we are working on our character – to be kinder and more thoughtful and more sensitive and not to gossip or cause pain with words – all of these are easiest at the beginning of the day and become more challenging as the day progresses

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and our energy flags.

The only comfort is that we recognize this to be true. And that means we can do something about it. Once we understand how being tired weakens our defenses, we can plan a strategy to counter this.

If we are clear about the goals and clear about the challenges, all that’s missing is the plan. Of course it’s not quite as simple as that, and some plans are easier than others. Let’s take the healthy eating, okay I really mean dieting, as an example.

In the morning when our willpower is strong, we don’t have to put that much effort into our new diet. In the evening we need to plan ahead. Since we know that our exhaustion leads us to operating on automatic pilot with very little awareness of what we are eating or how much of it, we can counter that by planning ahead of time. We can write down exactly what we want to eat and in what portion. We can consult our guide.

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How about with our marriage or other important relationships? We can certainly train ourselves to smile at the end of the day, to wait 5 minutes before jumping all over our partner with our problems, perhaps to have a drink or snack that will relax us (but not put us to sleep!) and then allow

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If we are trying to eat healthy, it’s much easier when we’re full of energy i.e. at the beginning of the day and much more difficult when we’re worn out at the end of the day.

for a more congenial interaction. Even at bedtime, we can figure out what works best for us – maybe a little break to read/catch our breath/be “alone” and then we may be available to speak. I frequently find that with this strategy I get what I like to call a second breeze. It’s not the strength of a second wind but it allows for a presleep connection.

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And we can create new ones.

The key lies in self-awareness, in recognizing the challenge and making a commitment to battle it. We all know that being tired makes the world fuzzy and our reactions less

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sharp. We know that it means that we aren’t as diligent or careful as we’d like to be. And we know we can plan ahead if we want to do something about it.

I’d like to continue to use the excuse that I’m just really tired from the holidays to absolve me from working on myself but the problem is it really doesn’t fly.

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Hiding from the Nazi Downstairs

by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller

W

hen Elsa Koditschek’s Viennese home was forcibly taken from her by the Nazis in 1940 and handed over to a senior SS officer tasked with rounding up Jews, Elsa went underground in the most unlikely of places: her own house. She spent much of the war under the noses of the very SS family who’d stolen her home.

Elsa’s remarkable story is now being told thanks to the auction house Sotheby’s, which is selling the one valuable painting that Elsa owned and broadcasting her incredible tale to the world.

Elsa Koditschek was married to a prosperous banker and together the Jewish couple built a three-story house in the Viennese suburb of Hietzing in 1911. Elsa’s husband died young, and she continued living in the house, raising her son and daughter as a single mother.

Elsa remained in her house and rented out the second floor. Her tenant, Sylvia

14

Kosminski, became a dear friend, and Elsa and her children called her “Aunt Sylvia”.

As anti-Semitism increased around them, Elsa took the precautions of sending her children away to safety: her son moved to the United States and her daughter sought refuge in Switzerland.

Elsa wasn’t a major art collector but she did buy one important painting: Dammernde Stadt, by the Viennese expressionist painter Egon Schiele. Little did Elsa know that the painting would one day help save her life.

In 1938, Austria was annexed by Germany and strict anti-Jewish decrees began to go into effect. As many of her friends and relatives lost their jobs and couldn’t afford places to live, Elsa took them in, assigning different rooms in her large house to her new guests. Elsa moved into her music room, sleeping on a sofa, and hung Dammernde Stadt into her dining room. In 1939, she wrote to her son that she was now dependent financially on

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Aunt Sylvia, who was helping her and her many guests get by now that Jews were barred from most forms of employment.

In 1940, the Nazi party seized Elsa’s house, assigning it to local SS officer Herbert Gerbing and his family. Gerbing was charged with rounding up Jews in Greece and France and was noted for his extreme cruelty. Ironically, he allowed Elsa to stay in the house as a tenant living in an upstair’s bedroom for several months. Elsa wrote to her children that any time the Gerbings had a question about their new house, they’d demand that Elsa come to them and explain how things worked.

Their relations were so cordial that when Elsa received an order in 1940 to report to the Lodz Ghetto, she took it to Herr Gerbing and asked if he could do anything to cancel her order. The Lodz Ghetto was an overcrowded hellhole in which nearly 70,000 Jews were detained in inhuman conditions: starved, beaten,

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Elsa Koditschek hid under the noses of the SS family who’d stolen her home.

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and eventually deported to Auschwitz and other extermination camps. Herr Gerbing knew all about the evil going on there, but he lied to Elsa, telling her he wouldn’t change her order and that she should expect life in Lodz to be pleasant.

He also advised Elsa not to take too much luggage, knowing that she faced certain death and that anything she left behind would become his.

Elsa wasn’t reassured about Gerbing’s rosy portrait of life in Poland. She hatched a plan with Sylvia: Elsa would go and hide with a Christian couple she knew.

If anyone tipped off the Nazis to her whereabouts, Elsa would flee. A network of friends would inform Sylvia, and she and Elsa would meet at a pre-arranged location to plot Elsa’s next step.

Elsa spent a year and a half hiding with a non-Jewish couple named Heinz. When the Heinzs were away, Elsa kept the lights off. For 20 months she stayed away from windows and only left their apartments a couple of times, always at night. She spent hours hiding in a crevice between a cupboard and a storage box. One night in 1942, Elsa heard Mr. Heinz come home

Elsa would go and hide with a Christian couple she knew. If anyone tipped off the Nazis to her whereabouts, Elsa would flee. early, accompanied by two Nazi guards who started searching the house. Elsa ran out of the apartment, wearing only a shabby housecoat and slippers, and hid outside for hours. Eventually, she made her way across Vienna to the rendezvous point she’d arranged with Sylvia, hoping that Sylvia would have heard what had happened.

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Sylvia had not. She’d been out at a party and had no idea that Elsa was waiting for her in their secret location.

When she did hear about the raid – Mr. Heinz had been arrested for selling jewelry on the black market and informants had told Nazi officials the couple was hiding a Jew – Sylvia assumed Elsa was dead. Surely there was no way Elsa could have eluded capture.

As the hours ticked by and Sylvia failed to appear, Elsa reached out to another non-Jewish couple she knew and asked them to relay the message to Sylvia that she was alive. Sylvia agreed to meet Elsa later that night several miles away, and Elsa travelled by foot to their meeting point, terrified that at any moment she would be spotted and arrested.

When she finally met Sylvia, the two returned to the only place they could think of: Elsa’s own home, now owned by the Gerbing family.

Sylvia installed Elsa in her own apartment in the house, and Elsa spent the rest of the war doing all of Sylvia’s washing up and mending. It’s ambiguous from Elsa’s letters just what sort of relationship

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17

she and Sylvia had, although it was clear that Sylvia now had the upper hand over her former landlady. Sylvia sold off the last of Elsa’s possessions, including the painting Dammernde Stadt, and pocketed the proceeds from the sale.

From her upstairs window, Elsa often watched the Gerbing family relax in the garden. Frequently, she observed crates of treasure arrive at the house containing plundered items that Gerbing had sent home from his trips abroad. She also watched a steady stream of Jewish slaves arrive at the house to perform maintenance, make repairs, unload deliveries and work in the garden.

By late 1944, Allied forces were getting closer to Vienna and were heavily bombing the city. The electricity and gas supplies to the house were often cut. Frau Gerbing received news that her husband had been murdered in Prague. On April 9, 1944, Easter Sunday, Frau Gerbing and her children fled the house, but Elsa

was still too terrified to emerge from her hiding place.

The house was vandalized by Soviet forces who liberated the area and stole everything of value, even Elsa’s wrist watch and supply of candles. Elsa remained in the ruined house with Sylvia before eventually making her way to Switzerland where her daughter lived.

Elsa died in 1961, her letters largely forgotten and unread even within her own family.

All that changed recently, when the current owners of Dammernde Stadt contacted Sotheby’s about selling the painting. Sotheby’s isn’t divulging any details about the owners, other than they are private European collectors. Aware of the painting’s complicated status, Sotheby’s worked with Elsa Koditschek’s descendants to trace the work’s provenance. Both Elsa’s family and the painting’s most recent owners will benefit from its sale.

For Elsa’s grandchildren and great grandchildren, learning about Elsa’s wartime experiences has been the real treasure. Her letters were hidden for years in a relative’s basement, and now they are being read and analyzed for the first time in decades.

Lucian Simmons, Sotheby’s head of restitution, explains the value of Elsa’s story: “It’s so unusual to have a victim of Nazi theft or expropriation who writes everything down. Usually you’re trying to join the dots, but the dots are far apart.”

Elsa’s grandson Ted Koditschek, a retired history professor at the University of Missouri, explains that for him and his relatives his grandmother’s letters are more personal. They’re “like a Rosetta Stone” for his family, helping them understand, at long last, their grandmother and the remarkable story of her survival under the very nose of the brutal SS guard who thought he’d turned her out of her home.

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What Husbands Need to Know

by Anonymous

How I stopped being cruel to my wife and saved my marriage.

I

n ten years of marriage, my wife and I were blessed with four beautiful children. But the marriage itself was often difficult and painful. We were divorced for two and a half years.

Then we remarried.

This is not a recommended course of events, but Divine Providence took me on this unusual path. Fortunately, my wife and I usually got along pretty well during the time we were divorced and I saw my kids nearly every day. But being divorced was definitely not ideal. There were times that the hate I had for my wife was so intense that I could never repeat those awful thoughts out loud.

I now realize that my marriage was lacking true harmony from the very beginning. At the time of the divorce, I did not know about the concept of Shalom Bayit, the uniquely Jewish approach to peace in the home. I never had a real understanding of how precious the marital relationship is. Our first marriage was filled with periods of calm and periods of tension and discord. I always felt there was something missing. I never had the inner peace that the calm would last.

There was always a storm brewing around

22

the corner. We could go a couple weeks or maybe a month or two when things were relatively smooth, but I always knew it wouldn’t last. And inevitably, I would blame the ups and downs on my wife.

Our troubles weren’t dramatic. It was simply the day to day negativity that ate up the marriage. My wife would make a critical comment about my family. I would immediately take the insult to heart and attack her right back for the direct affront to the people who meant the most to me. After all, she knew how deeply I loved my parents and how any attack on them hit me at my weakest spot. How dare she hurt me in that way?

Another tender area was the children. She often voiced her displeasure at the way I parented. She would often undermine me and refuse to back me up when I made a decision. I couldn’t understand her passive aggressive behavior, especially when it came to matters dealing with the kids.

Regardless of the trigger I would get extremely defensive and tumble reactively into “win mode,” feeling I simply had to win the argument. That dynamic would spark a cold war of sorts, where we To advertise, call 718-513-9885

wouldn’t speak for days or even weeks.

I found it easier to shut down and just not have anything to do with her when I sensed she was upset with me. I would just escape into endless hours of mindnumbing television and internet surfing.

After a while I was usually able to get us back on track with humor, but even my humor eventually stopped working and reconciliation became almost impossible.

Before long another silly incident, insult, or miscommunication would present itself to allow us to further tear down our marriage.

My only conclusion was that my wife was an unhappy and unreasonable woman, who couldn’t deal with the fact I was basically a good (albeit imperfect) husband and father. It was almost as if her personality just couldn’t be content if things were too calm for too long.

After years of the marriage slowly wearing away, we made the mutual decision to divorce. But a person takes themselves with them wherever they go, and divorced life didn’t provide the relief I was hoping for. My wife felt the pain and vulnerability too. After two-and-a half years, we made the radical decision to give

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the marriage another shot.

A Second Chance

It was a great feeling to get the second chance to be a husband and full-time father. How many divorced people get the opportunity to be together as a family again? Things were very good and we were very considerate of each other. It seemed we both grew and learned a lot about ourselves during the time we were divorced. Unfortunately, after several months we fell back into the same old negative patterns and pitfalls after the “honeymoon” period was over. We had been in counseling but it felt like those sessions were just scheduled times for my wife to blame me for all my faults. She would express why she wasn’t happy, but it never made sense to me. She was always overreacting, claiming I just didn’t “get her.”

It frustrated me to no end when I heard the words; “You just don’t get me.” Until recently I didn’t know what this meant or how to react when accused of this. My

wife could never understand why I didn’t need the same level of attention that she did. If anything she didn’t “get” me! If, for example, I broke something or cut my finger it would anger me when she asked if I was okay. I would instinctively snap back at her with a sarcastic comment. She didn’t understand that all she had to do was leave me alone and I’d be fine.

I simply did not have a need for her getting involved. When she would ask me how my day was I often had zero interest in sharing because there was usually little to say and it was downright unpleasant to have to talk about it. On rare occasions I did decide to share “just the facts,” but when her annoying, multiple follow up questions would inevitably start, I would become abrupt and rude, and that would effectively end the conversation. I had no problem sharing these things with my father or a closer friend, but for some reason I found my wife to be as annoying as nails to a chalkboard.

More recently our differences in how we felt about and observed Judaism To advertise, call 718-513-9885

came into play. The more I learned and I observed, the more I became critical of my wife and all the things she wasn’t doing or was doing “wrong.” I was disappointed that she didn’t want to improve and grow and was concerned we were harming our children by not teaching them properly. I often thought I would be much better off if I met an observant woman who would help my spiritual ascent rather than hold me back and keep me in such a distressed place.

I think we both felt deep down that we got back together for financial considerations as well as for the sake of the kids. I was kicking myself for getting back together because no matter what I did or how good a husband I would try to be, I was never going to satisfy her. She just wasn’t capable of being satisfied! I felt so foolish. It got to the point where we were both ready to walk away and admit with much embarrassment that we made a terrible mistake - twice! Our second marriage would not even make it to the first anniversary.

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I felt cornered and hopeless, thinking how my kids were going to suffer greatly both short-term and long-term. I was in one of the deepest ruts in my life, at which point something happened that changed my inner world and the whole course of my marriage. Two people recommended the same book on marriage, The Garden of Peace by Rabbi Shalom Arush, within a week of one another.

One reading of the book and I felt the rug had been pulled out from under me.

Suddenly I was able to see my situation in an entirely different light. All the confusion I was experiencing about my marriage became crystal clear. I realized that underneath all of my blaming, criticizing and finger pointing, there lay a fundamental truth. The true reason for all my marital strife was me.

How could it be all my fault? There must have been things my wife did to contribute to the breakdown of our marriage! What about all of her miserable behavior?

The Kesubah, the Jewish marriage contract, clearly states that the husband is ultimately responsible for his wife’s happiness and hence the husband is primarily responsible for Shalom Bayis.

This was a complete paradigm shift for me. It may not be politically correct, but I believe it is the truth. It is the men that need to initiate the giving, especially when it comes to giving honor. As the Talmud says, “There is no blessing in one’s home without the wife’s honor.” All the blessings a husband receives are in the merit of his wife.

When a husband honors and loves his wife, she feels invigorated and will respond in kind. The complaints and nagging are now almost non-existent, and the frustration and tension with matters related to intimacy are dissolving. We have never felt this close and secure in our marriage, and just about all of it has to do with my wife seeing and feeling consistent, deep rooted changes in me.

Shalom Bayit is one of the most important mitzvahs of our lives; the worth of a man is largely dependent on how he treats his wife; not just in public but also behind closed doors. Perhaps an analogy would be to view the husband as the sun, and the woman to a flower. If the flower isn’t blooming (the woman is acting

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negatively, withdrawing, complaining, nagging, or being passive aggressive), the first place to examine is to see if it’s getting the proper amount of nourishing sunlight.

I realize this is antithetical to much of today’s pop psychology on marriage.

I know many will raise eyebrows at the teaching that marital harmony is primarily a male responsibility. I also had my doubts not too long ago. But then I saw how everything fell into place once I started to treat my wife properly.

I never cursed or physically abused my wife, but I now see that I was in fact a cruel husband. Every time I was stingy and tight with money, criticizing every penny she spent, that was a form of cruelty. Every time I didn’t give her my full attention or was abrupt when she spoke to me or asked for my help, that was cruelty. Perhaps those actions seem like common flaws, yet once I stopped blaming my wife and started looking inwardly, I began to see how responsible I was for the deterioration of our marriage, and how so much of her “misbehavior” and “complaining” was simply a response to my complete misunderstanding of what To advertise, call 718-513-9885

my wife really wanted from me.

Once I began to look within, I saw a man who was generous with his time, attention, and money with anyone who needed me – except for my wife! Seeking honor and recognition from outside my marriage (sometimes even from strangers) while simultaneously ignoring my wife’s needs is indeed cruelty.

In several months I have gone through a remarkable transformation (just ask my wife!). I will never doubt the ability of people to change, no matter how low they have fallen. I truly regret that I caused my wife so much pain. I cringe when I think how I was ready to end my marriage, especially now that I understand the problems stemmed from my flawed thinking and ignorance. I am deeply grateful to the Almighty that I read Garden of Peace before it was too late. It was a tragedy to get divorced the first time, but to ruin a second chance would have been beyond any words.

Hashem gives us the challenges we need. I believe my wife and I were meant for each other. My wife sensed a change unlike any previous attempts I had made in the past. We are in tune with each other on a much deeper level and I am committed to giving her the loving nourishment she deserves on a daily basis.

It seems to be working. We have gone a record amount of time without a calamity and our interactions on a daily basis have been warm and positive. Our marital and family dynamic has changed. On a couple of occasions when my wife has expressed hostility towards me I knew exactly where the message was coming from and what to do. It didn’t matter if I thought she was justified or not; I now know what the endgame is about.

I don’t want to sugarcoat things and make this transformation sound too easy, but it wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I did put forth the personal and sincere effort to change, and once I did I felt Hashem guiding me to be the best husband I can be. You don’t have to believe me. If you think your marriage isn’t as great as it could be, read The Garden of Peace, put these insights into practice and see for yourself if it makes a difference.

May the Almighty help all of us to become the husbands and fathers we are meant to be.

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Accepting Responsibility

The Kesubah, the Jewish marriage contract, clearly states that the husband is ultimately responsible for his wife’s happiness and hence the husband is primarily responsible for Shalom Bayis.

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Greetings from the Land of Israel!

Subject:

With HaShem’s help, we s tand upon the threshold of the printing of

“Responsa of the Medrash”

a new sefer containing 1,985 ques tions and answers culled from all of Medrash Rabbah, and thus spanning the entire Chumash!

To date, the sefer’s author has printed four seforim, several editions of each one.

All four have been warmly accepted in the world of the yeshivot and by all s treams of Torahfaithful Jewry. In addition, talmudei Torah continue to purchase many copies, in order to award them as prizes to s tudents.

The names of these seforim: 1. Ahavas Torah (Love of the Torah) 2. Anava V’Shalom (Humility & Peace) 3. Shinun HaParashah (Review of the Weekly Torah Portion) 4. Va’Yipallel Pinchas (And Pinchas Prayed) 5. Michalkail Chaim (He Sustains Life).

Thousands learn these seforim and are greatly propelled forward in Torah, fear of Heaven, and refinement of character. As a result of the new sefer, too, in which, in exchange for donations of one thousand shekels, donors will see printed in the sefer a dedication to one of their friends or loved ones, readers will surely be drawn upwards in wisdom and kedusha.

All who would like to join this project and be a partner in the extremely important mitzvah that is entailed in it (See the sefer, “Pela Yo-aitz” – the Subject of “Dfus” i.e. “Printing” – and so, too, Part Two of the sefer, “Shmiras HaLashon,” about how marvelous is the mitzvah of helping to print sifrei kodesh) are asked to provide the needed information (name, date of death, if relevant) as soon as possible, so we can print the dedication and memorialize the departed friend, spouse or relative. So, too, dedications can be for the sake of someone who has not yet found his shidduch, or, for example, for the sake of gaining a good livelihood, or for the cure and recovery of someone who is ill.

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you can also contribute to spreading the famous sefer "ahavas torah" (love of the torah) With thanks, and with the blessings of the Torah,

Pinchas Shalom Friedman

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Thai Recipes You Must Try at Home

by Emuna Braverman

Fun, interesting and totally yummy dishes to spice up your menu.

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM AISH.COM

Sometimes I get in the mood for different types of cooking, for themes based on country or recipes connected to a particular ingredient. Stay tuned for a series of recipes following either ethnic styles or geared around a particular ingredient. Not only are these recipes fun and interesting, they can be a springboard for your own ideas or the center of a great Shabbos meal – or even dinner party.

Thai Chicken Coconut Soup This is a great variation on chicken soup – easy and fragrant. You can use fewer jalapenos if you want to turn down the heat.

Serves 12.

2 pounds skinless boneless chicken breast, cut into cubes 10 (14-ounce) cans coconut milk 10 slices peeled ginger 2 teaspoons salt

4 jalapeno peppers, sliced 4 tablespoons lime juice 1 tablespoon dried lemon grass (optional) 2 (10 to 14-ounce) cans straw mushrooms, drained Combine all ingredients in a stock pot and bring to a boil; immediately reduce heat and simmer for about 40 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Thai Apple Lettuce Wraps Serves 8 to 10 as appetizer, about 6 as main course.

1 Granny Smith apple, chopped 1 tablespoon lemon juice 2 teaspoons minced fresh garlic 2 jalapenos, minced ½ red onion, minced 6 scallions, minced 2 tablespoons oil 2 pounds ground turkey or chicken (dark or light, depending on your preference) ½ cup chunky peanut butter 1 tablespoon salt 34

2 tablespoons sugar Lettuce leaves (butter or iceberg, not romaine) Toss apple with lemon juice; set aside. SautĂŠ garlic, jalapenos, onion and scallions in oil over medium-high heat until soft. Add turkey or chicken and continue cooking, stirring constantly to break up pieces. When meat is browned, add peanut butter, salt and sugar and heat through. Drain liquid from apple and stir into mixture. Remove from heat and place atop lettuce leaves to serve.

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Thai Chicken in a Minute 4 scallions, chopped ½ cup roasted peanuts, chopped (optional)

Serves 6 to 8.

This takes 15 to 20 minutes to prepare. You can have everything ready to go and just cook it right before serving.

1-1/2 cups coconut milk ½ cup creamy peanut butter ½ teaspoon ginger ¼ teaspoon pepper 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into strips 2 tablespoons peanut oil

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In a small bowl, whisk together coconut milk, peanut butter, ginger and pepper; set aside or store in the refrigerator if saving for later. In a large wok, heat the oil over medium heat.

Sauté chicken until no longer pink – about 10 minutes. Add scallions and sauté briefly.

Stir in sauce and bring to a boil. Remove from heat. Sprinkle on peanuts, if using, and serve.

Also good with rice – white, jasmine or basmati.

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