flatbush Buzz October 9 2016

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THIS IS WHAT

HASHEM WANTS FOR ME NOW M

IRIAM IS ONE OF THE most confident, empathetic, and kind people I know. Her children are happy and well-adjusted. She runs a successful business from her home, is active in her community’s chessed organization, and is invariably the first one to bring a kugel to a sick neighbor.

She is also the survivor of an abusive marriage.

Miriam: When I returned home after attending one of the best seminaries in Eretz Yisrael, everyone expected that I would find a top-notch shidduch. I came from a fine home that emphasized Torah learning, and my teachers thought very highly of me. Everyone, myself included, assumed that I would marry the shpitz of the yeshivah and live happily ever after.

I got engaged to the – and I mean the – top boy from a large, prominent yeshivah.

It seemed a perfect match and I felt myself to be the luckiest girl in the world. The period of my engagement, the chasunah, and the sheva brachos were like a dream.

My chassan and I spent hours talking together as we learned more about each other and shared our deepest feelings and aspirations.

The only warning sign prior to the chasunah that something might not be picture-perfect appeared after we were already engaged. I discovered that my chassan’s mother had psychological problems. After making discreet inquiries, we found out that she had been diagnosed with OCD and that occasionally she

10

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found it impossible to function. What we were not told is that apart from that, she was also extremely abusive, and that the entire family showed signs of dysfunction.

Obviously this information was only known to those very close to the family, since the image they managed to present to the wider world was still one of a harmonious unit.

The first signs of abuse appeared about three weeks after our wedding, although I didn’t recognize them for what they were. How could I, without any frame of reference? I’d never come across such a person before, and I didn’t know how to compute what was going on.

My husband could be incredibly loving and kind, just as during the first few weeks after the chasunah, but then suddenly, without warning, he would hit me and tell me that I was ugly. Things escalated

My husband succeeded in convincing me that I was worthless. I felt that I had less value than a piece of dirt MAGAZINE

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11

AS TOLD TO DEBBIE SHAPIRO

pretty quickly after that – within just a few months, it had already got to the point that when he was home, I was afraid to wash the dishes, since I wouldn’t know if he was about to attack me from behind.

When we were in public, he still made a fabulous impression. He is a very intelligent, charismatic man, and a phenomenal learner. Everyone took it for granted that he was also a wonderful husband. After all, outwardly he looked like a real tzaddik. No one could have dreamed that he spent most of his day sleeping – they just assumed that he was learning around the clock, and occasionally collapsed from exhaustion.

I spent the first year of my marriage trying to come to terms with my disappointment. I went to work in the morning and returned home in the afternoon to find my husband still in bed, asleep. I watched as my dreams disintegrated right before my eyes, and although I tried to accept that this was what was bashert for me, it was still devastating.

That was why eventually, I went to consult with someone. Several people told me that a certain woman was an expert in shalom bayis issues. But although she genuinely meant well, she had most likely never been trained in recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship; furthermore, she lacked the empathy and perspective that might have compensated for this.

Although I didn’t feel able to tell her the full extent of what was going on, I still managed to convey that my husband criticized me a lot, shouted at me, and left me to shoulder the full burden of the home as well as parnassah. I didn’t tell her that he actually hit me. Even before going to her, I already thought that I was the one to blame for his failings, and so I guess that to admit that things had gone that far would have been too difficult for me.

She tried to convince me that if I would only do more and give more, then

12

my husband would change. And of course, this only enhanced my feeling that all the problems resulted from me not being the perfect wife. I began to truly believe that it was all my fault – that despite my best efforts, I had somehow turned my fine, upstanding husband into a lazy, angry, and violent person.

My husband constantly told me that I was ugly. He claimed I was a failure and that I couldn’t cope. In the face of the reality, his accusations were ludicrous; I had succeeded in building a flourishing business from scratch while running a home and raising my two children – and doing it all with almost no help. Yet my husband succeeded in convincing me that I was worthless. I felt that I had less value than a piece of dirt. Today, I can see that he was simply acting out his frustrations and his jealousy that he was the one who couldn’t manage – he envied my success, and didn’t know how to deal with his feelings. And so he would curse me for hours on end, and then physically abuse me. It was a nightmare.

The turning point came when the shalom bayis counselor told me that no matter what he did to me, I must continue to respect him. She suggested that every day, I should make a list of five things for which I respected him. But as much as I tried, I couldn’t find what to write on that list. I realized that there was nothing about him that I found worthy of respect. And this realization terrified me.

A few days later, I attended an evening sponsored by Bnos Melachim during which one of the speakers talked about how each woman must take responsibility for herself, as an aspect of tzniyus. I decided that I had to do something about the situation and I contacted a different shalom bayis counselor, whom I’ll call Rochel. Later, I learned that she had been trained in dealing with cases of abuse.

Nonetheless, at that point, I still didn’t realize that I was in an abusive relationship

She convinced me that if I would give more, my husband would change – which only enhanced my feeling that it was all my fault for not being the perfect wife – I only knew that something was very, very wrong. But Rochel picked up on it right away. Just a few minutes into our first conversation, she asked me if he ever hit me. Although he did hit me, often, I told her that he didn’t. I was still in denial and couldn’t face the painful reality that my husband behaved in such a brutal way.

Rochel spent the first six months building me up as a person. She taught me how to believe in myself, and also to realize that I should not, and could not, take

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13

responsibility for my husband’s behavior.

Although she never explicitly detailed his faults, once I gained self confidence and was happier with myself, I was able see the situation realistically – and it was bad.

I remained in my marriage for a further six months, carefully recording everything in a diary so that I would be able to look at what was going on and evaluate it from a distance. It soon became clear to me that the situation was totally insane and that I could not continue this way. The more I weighed the different options, the more I realized I had no choice. My decision to divorce was carefully thought out, not emotional, and not one I made in a moment of desperation or anger.

And since I didn’t want to make a big fight, I left him everything, while I got what I wanted – my children and my freedom.

While I was going through all this, I read the following story, which had a tremendous impact on me: A man in a European shtetl told the rav that he wanted to divorce his wife and asked him to arrange a get. When the rav asked him why, he replied, “She’s my wife, and I don’t want to speak badly about her.”

The rav told him to return in three months, and if he still wanted a divorce, the rav would arrange it for him.

Three months later, the man returned

I realized that there was nothing about him that I found worthy of respect. And this realization terrified me 14

and the rav arranged for him to give his wife a get. After everything was finalized, the rav turned to the man and said, “Now she’s not your wife any more. Please explain to me why you wanted to divorce her.”

“But now she’s another Yid,” the man answered. “What right do I have to speak badly about another Yid?” After reading this story, I made a conscious decision to emulate that man, and refrain from speaking badly about my former husband. Although I haven’t been perfect about this, I feel that I’ve really risen to the challenge. It has been extremely difficult since my ex-husband spread terrible stories about me and I had no doubt that people were talking about me behind my back. But I’m proud of the fact that today, when people ask my friends why I got divorced, most of them can honestly say that they don’t know.

Speaking of friends, they have been amazing, and they still give me so much support. A woman going through divorce needs to know that there are people there for her; people who trust her and who will give her the emotional, financial, and physical help that she so sorely needs. And baruch Hashem, I received all that. Friends invited us for Shabbos meals, took my son to shul, and even babysat occasionally so that I could have some time off and go to a shiur or just out for a walk. Their support and compassion made all the difference and gave me the emotional strength to face everything that I was going through.

As a consequence, I was able to parent my children in a much healthier manner than would have been possible otherwise.

Debbie: How did you explain the divorce to your children?

Miriam: I told my younger child that when Mommy and Daddy lived together, Mommy was very sad, and then I went on to explain that since I wanted her to have a happy Mommy, I moved away.

It was much more difficult for me to explain things to my older child. He remembers seeing my husband hitting me,

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and he heard a lot of screaming and yelling in the house. I made it very clear to him that it was for these reasons that I got a divorce – he has to know that a husband may never hit a wife, and that if he does, there are consequences, including divorce.

But I am still very careful never to say anything bad about his father, or that I got divorced for my son’s sake – I don’t want him to feel “guilty” for the divorce – even though, l’maaseh, all the professionals say that my leaving was the best thing I could have done for the children. No one can imagine how witnessing abuse damages a child. By removing my children from that situation, I gave them the gift of life, a safe home in which to grow up.

Today, in addition to raising my wonderful children and running a thriving business, I often speak to women going through ordeals similar to those I experienced. I try to show them that although divorce is certainly not ideal, it is possible to have a beautiful, fulfilling life afterwards. Yes, of course I’m lonely, and yes, I do hope to someday remarry and continue building my family, but until that happens, I am living my life to the fullest instead of grieving over what could have been. Had I been given a choice, this is certainly not what I would have chosen. It is not even close to what I davened for. But it is where Hashem wants me to be now and for that, I am very, very grateful.

MAGAZINE

The night before the accident, Mrs. Cohen and Mrs. Goldberg met at a chasunah. The two were casual acquaintances and although they chatted warmly whenever they happened to bump into each other on line at the local kosher grocery store or at simchos, their friendship didn’t extend any further than that.

And so, when they discovered each other at the chasunah, they were happy to fill each other in on the latest in their lives. Mrs. Goldberg recounted how pleased she was that her youngest child, Chaim, was about to join her oldest son Yossi in yeshivah in Eretz Yisrael for the year. Yossi had already been learning there for four straight years and Chaim was anxious to follow in his footsteps. Mrs. Goldberg was excited at the prospect of finally having her home to herself, and she told Mrs. Cohen about the wide variety of projects she was planning, to help her get used to having an empty nest.

Mrs. Cohen, on the other hand, expressed how hard it was for her to have her daughter, Shaina, studying in Eretz Yisrael for the second year in a row, especially since she was starting shidduchim that year. She would have liked to be more involved in the shidduch process, she told her friend, but being on a separate continent made this almost impossible.

The two then chatted for a little while longer, on more superficial topics, and went on to mingle with other guests at the simchah. Neither of them could have imagined what a drastic turn the course of the lives was about to take.

The very next day, Mrs. Cohen heard the news; Mrs. Goldberg’s son Yossi had been in a terrible accident. He was working as a camp counselor in the mountains for the summer, and on that fateful morning, he had been driving eleven campers and one other counselor up north for a weeklong hiking and canoe trip, pulling five heavy canoes in tow. Just outside of a small New England town, on Interstate 95, he lost control of the vehicle and the van veered off the road, flipping over at least once as it tumbled down the sleep slope beyond the barrier.

One of the boys was killed instantly, and the other twelve

16

were seriously injured, but Yossi was in the worst condition of them all. His spine had been crushed and his neck and arm were broken. It took seven ambulances to transport all of the victims to a nearby hospital and Yossi was soon being airlifted, unconscious, to a spinal trauma center in his home town.

After undergoing intensive treatment in the emergency room there, it became clear that Yossi would likely never walk again unaided. In an instant, Mrs. Goldberg’s year alone in the house vanished, perhaps forever – but more importantly, Yossi, a budding Torah scholar, seemed to have been robbed of the bright future once predicted for him.

Mrs. Cohen didn’t know how to react at hearing such tragic news. She wasn’t close enough to the Goldbergs to be amongst their first visitors, and to phone up with words of support seemed woefully inadequate. And so, when she heard of an informal network set up to help the Goldbergs, she volunteered her services to help in any way she could.

A few weeks later, she finally got her chance to express her feelings in action, when the Goldbergs needed someone to cover for them for a Shabbos at the hospital, so that they could get some much needed rest. Together with their youngest child, the Cohens spent Shabbos with Yossi, singing zemiros, telling divrei Torah, and trying to create a joyful atmosphere to give him positive encouragement.

Although the Cohens had briefly met Yossi once before, many years back, they had never spent an extended period of time with him. And now, in such a weakened state, partially sedated from strong painkilling medication, how much could he benefit from their company? Yet he did seem to be enjoying their presence, and a few weeks later, he requested that the Cohens visit him again.

On the previous visit, his physical state had seemed far gloomier. Then, Yossi had just been officially declared a quadriplegic, with only a limited ability to move his fingers and arms. His prospects for recovery were extremely low, with the healing process being predicted to take up to two years to complete.

But this time, he seemed to be doing much better physi-

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MAGAZINE

cally, and his spirits too were much higher. He was already expressing his desire to resume learning in any way possible, and when she saw that he still had difficulty in turning pages, Mrs. Cohen recalled a technique she had once learned, which helped a person to access memories from the recesses of his mind. If Yossi couldn’t learn directly from sefarim, he could at least immerse himself in reviewing the many masechtas that were already stored in the depths of his memory.

And so Mrs. Cohen set out to teach Yossi the technique, and the more they learned together, the more Mrs. Cohen was impressed with Yossi’s depth of character, quickness of mind, and strength of spirit. He was determined to overcome his physical limitations and committed to making sure that this period in his life would become another steppingstone in his spiritual growth.

Meanwhile, the Cohens’ daughter, Shaina, had started shidduchim in Eretz Yisrael. After going out with five different guys, she was ready to call it quits. She was looking for someone who shared her passion for ruchniyus – and was beginning to despair of finding that someone, who was committed to Yiddishkeit and personal growth from the inside out, not the outside in. “Ima,” she told her mother over the phone one day, “I give up! You find me the right guy!”

Eventually, Yossi was discharged from hospital, and began an outpatient rehab program. One of his friends was about to get married, and he wanted to give Yossi one of the sheva brachos under the chuppah. Watching her son intone the words, Mrs. Goldberg sobbed quietly, wondering if Yossi would ever merit to stand under his own chuppah.

Mrs. Cohen also happened to be present at the chasunah, and she keenly felt her friend’s pain. And then, suddenly, a nagging thought began to creep into her mind: Yossi was exactly the type of person her Shaina was seeking! He was deeply spiritual, genuine, and committed, despite adversity.

“I had found the right guy for my daughter,” she later related, “but he was a quadriplegic…” Nonetheless, she couldn’t shake the thought away – and the more she pondered it, the more she became convinced that this was Shaina’s zivug.

“He’s such a wonderful person – why should I care that he has a disability?” she kept telling herself.

Eventually, she tentatively broached the idea with her daughter – and to her surprise, Shaina didn’t automatically dismiss the suggestion. She trusted her mother implicitly, and if she said that she had found someone to whom she would be able to relate on a spiritual level, then she was definitely open to hearing more. But Mrs. Cohen proceeded with MAGAZINE

caution – she told Shaina to take a few days to think it over on her own. After davening all night at Kever Rachel and all day at the Kosel, Shaina called her mother back. “I’m still interested,” she said.

The next step was to approach Mrs. Goldberg, telling her that she had a shidduch idea for her son. “A shidduch?” Mrs. Goldberg responded in astonishment, amazed that anyone would consider dating her son in his present condition. “He’s just barely out of the hospital – who’s thinking about shidduchim?” Nonetheless, she agreed to meet Mrs. Cohen at a local coffee shop to discuss it.

“There’s a girl I know who is absolutely perfect for Yossi,” Mrs. Cohen began, as they sipped their drinks. “She’s sweet and innocent and a tzanua.”

Mrs. Goldberg listened only halfheartedly, a skeptical expression on her face. What kind of problem case was she about to hear about?

But Mrs. Cohen was undaunted. “She has a strong sense of adventure and she’s very spiritual,” Mrs. Cohen continued, “just like Yossi!” Mrs. Goldberg began to pay closer attention, despite her misgivings. “Most importantly,” Mrs. Cohen pressed on, now trembling slightly, “she doesn’t care about how a person looks on the outside – she can see beyond the external body of a person to their eternal inner soul. Yossi may come in a broken package, but his inner essence shines.” By now both women had tears in their eyes that began to spill onto their cheeks. “And the best thing of all,” Mrs. Cohen concluded, “is that . . . it’s my daughter!” Mrs. Goldberg burst into tears.

When he heard of the suggestion, Yossi found it hard to believe that a good, normal Bais Yaakov girl was interested in meeting him. He spoke to his Rebbe in Eretz Yisrael, who asked to meet Shaina himself to make sure she was serious and understood what she was getting into. After meeting her, he declared, “It’s a perfect match!” The first date was arranged for when Shaina came home for Pesach. The two instantly hit it off. “We felt so comfortable together,” Shaina related. The next few dates soon followed suit. By the end of the fourth date, both of them felt certain that they had found their soul mate.

“You understand that this will mean that your life won’t be easy,” Mrs. Cohen cautioned her daughter one last time, just to make sure. “He won’t be able to take out the garbage or do the dishes, it will be hard for him to play ball with your kids, and you’ll have to take care of him your whole life.”

“I know, Ima,” Shaina replied. “I’m prepared for that.”

“And you understand that you won’t have an ordinary life.”

“That’s okay, Ima,” Shaina smiled. “We won’t have an ordinary life. . . we’ll have an extraordinary life!”

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Joined JOINED onJOINED the

Wings of Love Wings of Love Wings of Love ON THE ON THE

The atmosphere in the beis medrash is That tefillah, those tears, in the last, defor Klal Yisrael.

The atmosphere in the beis medrash is That tefillah, those tears, in the last, de for Klal Yisrael. electrified as the mispalelim put their last cisive moments of Yom Kippur, do the imBut that’s not all. electrified as the mispalelim put their last cisive moments of Yom Kippur, do the im But that’s not all. vestigesvestiges of strength into Ne’ilah, the final tepossible.

They ram through the barriers, This time of is soisspiritually demandof strength into Ne’ilah , the final tepossible. They ram through the barriers, This timeyear of year so spiritually demand fillah offillah Yom Kippur.

Shloimie, a yungerman rip away the layers coating David’s heart, ing.

Elul, Rosh Hashanah, Aseres Yemei Te- Teof Yom Kippur. Shloimie, a yungerman rip away the layers coating David’s heart, ing. Elul, Rosh Hashanah, Aseres Yemei living the rarefied atmosphere of Yerushastorm the sha’arei Shamayim.

In less than 48 shuvah and Yom Kippur – flushing out the living the rarefied atmosphere of Yerusha storm the sha’arei Shamayim. In less than 48 shuvah and Yom Kippur – flushing out the layim, feels heart higherhigher and andhours,hours, the unbelievable happens…

Shloimie of our untiluntil we we areare pure as the layim,his feels his soaring heart soaring the unbelievable happens…

Shloimiecavities cavities of soul our soul pure as the higher. higher.

But then, the image of his brother receives a call from David: “I’ve made a terday we were born.

Finally, we get to Ne’ilah But then, the image of his brother receives a call from David: “I’ve made a ter day we were born. Finally , we get toNe’ilah David appears in his inmind’s eye. When I wantI want to come back…back…

Help Help– and, for most people, there is a isfeeling of of to come a feeling David appears his mind’s eye. Whenrible mistake… rible mistake…

– and, for most people, there did everything go awry? one me!” me!”

“Enough!”; it’s time to go putput up up ourour “Enough!”; it’s time to home, go home, did everything go How awry?did How didslip one slip lead to lead another, until suddenly, DavidDavid was was “I still“Ican’t believe it,” Shloimie tellstells hishis feet, and But But no! Hashem, look!

We’ve still can’t believe it,” Shloimie feet,relax. and relax. no! Hashem, look!

We’ve to another, until suddenly, incredulous chavrusa.

“He really did it. Da -comecome to the medrash, across the light abyss,years light from years Yiddishfrom Yiddish incredulous across the abyss, chavrusa.

“He really did it.

Darightright backback to the beis beis medrash, not not vid,was whosowas far away, situationbecause because wecompelled, are compelled, but because keit? Shloimie as he thinks of Davidvid, who keit? Shloimie cringescringes as he thinks of David farso away, whosewhose situation we are but because we we gave no made rest, made an absolute cannot stay away! remarkable learning in Marine uniform, married to –he can oy, he can in Marine uniform, married to – oy, gave me nome rest, an absolute turn-turn-cannot stay away!

ThisThis remarkable learning around.”

His voice cracks emotion. vividly expresses unique ahavah barelythe think the words to a non-Jewisharound.” barely think words – to a–non-Jewish His voice cracks withwith emotion.

“He“He sederseder vividly expresses ourour unique ahavah woman. divorced his gentile wife, he’s starting to do for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. No wonder that woman. divorced his gentile wife, he’s starting to do for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. No wonder that How can he blissfully scale the heights of Rav Moshe Shapiro has deemed the Motzei How can he blissfully scale the heights of Rav Moshe Shapiro has deemed the Motzei spirituality, knowing thatown his own Kippur children’s seder so powspirituality, knowing that his YomYom Kippur children’s seder so powbrother is plummeting erful that even if chalilah brother is plummeting erful that even if chalilah there was a dire decree from the cliff? He had there was a dire decree done everything to issued on Yom Kippur, done everything to issued on Yom Kippur, pull David back, but this learning of love pull David back, but this learning of love he refused to listen. can overturn it! he refused to listen. can overturn it!

An iron wall had Now, combine An ironclamped wall had Now, combine of down, septhat outpouring clampedarating down,him sep-from his thatlove outpouring with an of armarating him from his love with an armFather in Shamayim. in-arm link to our Father in Shamayim. in-arm linkabroad, to ourstill Shloimie listens with brothers Shloimie listens with brothers abroad, Yom half an ear as the chazzan engrossed in theirstill half an ear as the chazzan engrossed in – their Yom Kippur tefillos and you have a ends chazaras hashatz, with ends chazaras hashatz, with Kippur tefillos – and you have a ko’ach that cannot be matched! just enough time left for Birkas Kohanim, just enough left for Birkas Kohanim, belink matched!

Dearcannot brothers, up with us! Let us sway mitzvos, and he has even begun learning To -ko’ach that whichtime can only be said until shki’ah . After which can only be said, the until shki’ah.

Aftera slow, mitzvos, he hasIt’s even learning Dear brothers, linkbefore up with Letkodesh us sway together – you, theus! aron in terahand regularly. no begun less than a Yom ToKippur Birkas Kohanim chazzan chooses fillah–, you, and before we, in the of theinMotzei miracle. It’s A miracle love.”a Yom Kippur heartrending niggun for “ Sim ashalom.”

Birkas Kohanim, the chazzan chooses slow, The rah regularly. no lessofthan together the ahavah aron kodesh teUbanimoflearning seder. melodyniggun rises to crescendo, andThe everyone heartrending fora “Sim shalom.” miracle. A miracle of love.”* * * fillah,Yom andKippur we, in Avos the ahavah the Motzei Just as Shloimie’s tefillos did the impossible, At the Avos *Ubanim Motzei Yom Kip swept in the uplifting mood. Two komelody isrises to up a crescendo, and everyone Yom Kippur Avos Ubanim learning seder. ** so Shloimie’s too, our song of Torah willimpossible, burst through pur Avos project, we are Motzei familiar Yom with miracles. brothers, still standing by the is swepthanim, up in the uplifting mood. Two ko- open At the Ubanim KipJust as tefillos did the the open aron hakodesh and rouse rachamei 25,000 Yiddishe kinderlach sitting in shul aron kodesh, grab hands and sway fervently hanim, brothers, still standing by the open pur project, we are familiar with miracles. so too, our song of Torah will burst through fathers, Shamayim for Klal Yisrael!

Together, we will after 25 hours of tefillah, with their in unison, eyes closed tight with emotion. aron kodesh, grab hands and sway fervently 25,000 Yiddishe kinderlach sitting in shul the open aron hakodesh and rouse rachamei himself no longer. weakened by the fast – is a miracle in itself. see miracles!

Shloimie can contain in unison, eyes closed tight with emotion. after 25 hours of tefillah, with their fathers, Shamayim for Klal Yisrael! Together, we will He bursts into hot himself tears. “ Ribono shel Olam!

The by incomparable of itself.

Yom Kip -see miracles!

To sponsor a branch of the Avos Ubanim Shloimie can contain no longer. weakened the fast – is kedushah a miracle in Look at these brothers, singing and swaying pur, the immeasurable value of the pure Motzei Yom Kippur learning project and He bursts into hot tears. “Ribono shel Olam!

The incomparable kedushah of Yom KipTo sponsor a branch of the Avos Ubanim together, their hearts pounding in perfect Torah learning of tinokos shel Rabban, and create the opportunity for all of us together Look at these brothers, singing and swaying pur, the immeasurable value of the pure Motzei Yom Kippur learning project and rhythm. I, too, want to latch hands with my the indescribable power of linking up with to burst through the Heavenly Gates and together, their hearts pounding in perfect Torah learning of tinokos shel Rabban, and create the opportunity for all of us together brother and bring him back to You, back to our brothers overseas – together create an bring yeshuos, call: 718-301-9795 or email: rhythm. I, too, want to latch hands with my the indescribable power of linking up with to burst through the Heavenly Gates and donations@avosubanim.com the aron kodesh, where he belongs…!” explosion of nachas for Hashem and yeshuos brother and bring him back to You, back to our brothers overseas – together create an bring yeshuos, call: 718-301-9795 or email: the aron kodesh, where he belongs…!” explosion of nachas for Hashem and yeshuos donations@avosubanim.com 18 MAGAZINE www.NyBuzzMagazine.com I To advertise, call 718-513-9885

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Reinventing Our Futures Written: by B. Margolin Photos: by Shlomo Mayer Did you ever have an idea that seemed great to you, but others were skeptical about it?

If so, you’re in good company with the Wright brothers, Albert Einstein, and Thomas Edison who did ten thousand experiments before successfully inventing the light bulb. In today’s depressed economy where people are finding that they need to reinvent themselves, rethinking old products and processes may be one possible route to a new source of parnassah.

In search of new ideas to impart to our readers in these tough economic times, Buzz Magazine went down to the beautiful, spacious Manhattan offices of the Ostrolenk Faber law firm in Manhattan www.ostrolenk. com. The Ostrolenk Faber firm does not deal with malpractice or personal injury cases. It

MAGAZINE

deals with something much more exciting: patenting your ideas, so that you can have a chance at realizing your dreams.

Buzz had a conversation with Mr. Max Moskowitz, a managing partner at the firm, who has been employed there for the last twenty-seven years. His pleasant and approachable demeanor make the daunting prospect of launching a new invention seem not only possible, but relatively easy.

“We are living in a time of economic crisis,” Mr. Moskowitz stated. “The US is suffering terribly. Besides all our other economic woes, manufacturing is disappearing from this country. In order to remain competitive, the US needs to harness a resource that has never failed it; its creativity and ability to innovate.”

With enthusiasm in his voice he goes on

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to explain, “Inventions fascinate me— and they can benefit you personally and monetarily.”

It is in this exciting field that people may find the opportunity for a new parnassah, one that does not require college degrees or large amounts of investment capital.

“Inventiveness comes naturally to the People of the Book. Throughout the last 2,000 years of living in mostly hostile environments where their economic opportunities were often severely curtailed, Jews have had to learn to think out of the box. It’s even referred to in Chumash, where the words tal hashamayim—which represent inventiveness and the products of the mind—was Yaakov’s main berachah and legacy from Yitzchok Avinu.”

Mr. Moskowitz’s background as an electrical engineer makes him uniquely qualified in his field, where he combines his two interests, science and law. “After I left Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, I spent eleven years working for companies that developed weapons systems. I even got to explore the cockpit of a fighter jet as part of my work. But at night I went to law school.

“There are three parts to the intellectual property triad; patents, copyrights, and trademarks. We’re a midsized firm, a

22

Mr. Max Moskowitz working with clients on the latest patent technologies

boutique firm, and we assist our clients on how to combine patents with trademarks or copyrights to generate the greatest marketplace inpact for inventors. ”

Guarding Your Ideas That products are patent protected is no news to most of us, but what may be surprising to some is the fact that even an idea can be protected. “If you have legal protection no one can take it from you, even an idea for a product that isn’t in tangible form yet.”

A talented bachur thought of a new idea for hotel keys in the 1990s. He developed a card with a magnetic strip that could be programmed to unlock hotel room doors. He was interviewed by the media and before he knew it his idea was stolen from him…

And today cards are prevalent everywhere.

Ideas that are patented are legally protected against being copied or reproduced. Under the Patent Laws, Mr. Moskowitz explains, they’re protected for up to twenty years, at which time they become public domain. “A patent is not a shield, it’s a sword. You can wave it at anyone—tell the competition to get out of your way as you develop and benefit from your dream.”

“Pharmaceutical companies are willing to invest vast amounts of money in research and development of medications since they know they will

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That products are patent protected is no news to most of us, but what may be surprising to some is the fact that even an idea can be protected.

be repaid a thousand fold if they come up with a successful drug. If it costs a company a dollar to produce a pill and they can sell it for twenty…well, do the math.”

Twenty years is plenty of time to strike it rich, and then some.

Aren’t patents a form of monopolies, which are intensely despised in these United States?

“They are certainly close to monopolies.

But the Founding Fathers (some of whom were also inventors) wanted the ideas and innovation to keep flowing in the US, so they granted inventors constitutional immunity from the monopoly laws.”

Besides ideas and inventions, processes can also be protected. Trademarks can also be protected by law. “As long as you’re paying the fees, you can protect your trademark perpetually. The name Coca Cola, one of the most recognized and valued trademarks in the world, is an asset worth billions of dollars to the Coca Cola Company.”

The Coca Cola recipe is not protected, since protecting it legally would have necessitated revealing the ingredients, which the company wasn’t willing to do.

Thus far, after more than one hundred years, no one has managed to replicate MAGAZINE

the McDonald’s company, and was forced Coca Cola. to change the name. All that fuss just for From Idea to Reality So how does one take a good idea and a prefix!

Because we live in an information age make it into a great product?

“The first step is to file a patent application with the help of a firm such as ours. The application goes to the US patent office in Washington where examiners decide if they should issue a patent.”

So what separates the proverbial sheep from the goats?

“You need to convince them that your idea is novel, new, never been done before. I recall a case where a patent was denied because somewhere in the literature of the Roman Empire such a product was described. Be sure that what you’ve got is new because companies go to great lengths to protect their rights, fighting anyone in court who tries to infringe on their territory.”

Mr. Moskowitz often deals with such cases in court, where he defends clients who are accused of infringing on patents. At other times, he is in court litigating for his clients when others are infringing on their patents.

In one famous case, the debut of the Lexus car was delayed because a legal services company with a similar name took them to court over it. In one of our own communities, In front of his office in a restaurant called New York City McFleishig’s was sued by

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The Coca Cola recipe is not protected, since protecting it legally would have necessitated revealing the ingredients, which the company wasn’t willing to do. Thus far, after more than one hundred years, no one has managed to replicate Coca Cola. where we readily communicate through the computers, trademarks and name recognition are having a greater impact than ever before.

“Name recognition is extremely important to business today. People shop online. They look for brands they know and trust.”

24

Getting a patent and launching a product can take a few years and hundreds of thousands of dollars. So where does that leave the creative kollel couple that has a great idea but little start up capital?

“If your idea is really great, even if your patent isn’t approved yet, you can approach companies in the industry and

pitch it to them. If you excite them enough, they will often undertake production and marketing and you get a portion of the proceeds. All you really need is the initial capital for the patent application. Retaining an attorney to protect your rights is obviously vital, as many people who have had their ideas stolen can attest to.”

Mr. Moshe Orzech, of the Kosher Innovations Company based in Toronto, Canada, is very familiar with the idea of protecting ideas. His company, founded seven years ago, is familiar to Jews worldwide, for a number of incredibly innovative inventions. Particularly popular is the Kosher Lamp, an object so beloved to frum Jews that families are often seen putting it into their cars with their suitcases as they exit their homes for a Shabbos away.

“Patenting a product is a very good idea and where possible, we use patent attorneys. However, an additional practical safeguard is to make the product well and price it so competion cannot compete,” Mr. Orzech explains.

So how did the indispensable Kosher Lamp, which allows you to adjust the amount of light you want to read by on Shabbos in a halachically permissible way, get invented?

“My rabbi came to me about it, because his wife used to complain that the Shabbos clock would turn off before she had finished her Friday night reading. I was in the lighting business, so my rabbi thought I might be able to help him develop the idea.”

Doing business is something Mr. Orzech has been interested in since a young age. “If a kid opened a lemonade stand, I was the one who would figure out how to make money doing it,” he reminisces, laughing.

But counting the profits is a long way off with many inventions—it takes a long time for it to go from idea to reality. “The first thing we do is explore if the idea is viable. Some ideas sound promising in theory, but aren’t always practical or profitable. We once spent over two years working on something that we ended up having to abandon.”

In his busy Manhattan office Mr. Moskowitz closes our conversation with this thought:

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“I know what it’s like to have ideas that beg to be developed. I have an idea for a nonmotorized wheelchair drive that could help thousands of frum Jews who are pushing around heavy wheelchairs on Shabbos. I just haven’t found the time to actually pursue it. If anyone out there has the time, I’m certainly open to working on it.

“It’s a funny thing,” muses Mr. Moskowitz, “when the Zionists began the ‘Jewish state,’ they thought all the Israelis would return to the old ways, would become farmers. But inventions and business are really more in our line. Israel today has more startups than any other country. It is one of the few countries to weather the economic crisis relatively unscathed.

Major companies like Intel and Motorola have begun building research labs there, to harness that Jewish creativity for their own profit. We should be doing that! There’s no end to the possibilities.”

In a world where the rules of the economic game have changed so radically, it’s time to rethink the ways we approach making an honest living. And wherever new trails need to be blazed, Jews are sure to be the first to carry the torch ahead into the future.

Mr. Moskowitz works primarily on high technology electronic and mechanical patent matters. He has also handled several large patent litigations and has been involved with copyright, trademark, and trade secret matters and related litigations. After graduating from engineering school, Mr. Moskowitz worked as a practicing engineer for eleven years.

Mr. Moskowitz’s work experience involved primarily state-of-the-art digital electronics including microprocessor systems and related software, memories, and communications.

Ostrolenk Faber LLP Intellectual Property Law Max Moskowitz 1180 Ave. of Americas New York, NY 10036 Tel: 212.382.0700 mmoskowitz@ostrolenk.com MAGAZINE

So where else do Kosher Innovations

come from?

“A lot of ideas come to us from our customers.

Necessity is the mother of invention. People see a problem and think of a solution.”

Another famous Kosher Innovations product, the Kosher Clock, grew out of Mr. Orzech’s own personal experiences. “I was never able to sleep well Shabbos afternoon, because I was always afraid I would oversleep and miss Mincha. So we invented a clock that allows for multiple settings, getting around that problem.”

Just in time for three days of Yom Tov on Pesach, a new kosher clock with options for three days of Yom Tov will hit Judaica stores everywhere. Halachic authorities are consulted every step of the way as the inventions are developed, to insure that the products will meet the religious standards of all segments of the frum population.

Mr. Orzech’s years of experience traveling to China while in the lighting business stood him in good stead while launching Kosher Innovations.

“I’d been there many times and I knew the factories there. The Chinese are great at copying.

They’re extremely exact.”

‘I once ordered growth charts for boys and the word boys had a fancy o in it that looked a little like a 6. They produced 5,000 pieces that said b6ys!”

Besides working on new products (which are kept secret under nondisclosure agreements while in development) the Kosher Innovations Company also troubleshoots for its customers. “People constantly call us with questions and comments. We do our best to help.

One woman called me about the Lamp- it wasn’t going on. I asked her if the bulb was screwed in- “Oh it needs a bulb?!” she responded. That was an easy one to solve! ” Some of the comments from customers have led to changes for the products. “We’ve made changes to accommodate our customers, like the switch on our lamp.

Elderly people found it a little hard to use, so we changed the switch. Improving our products is very important to us.”

But Kosher Innovations is more than a parnassah to Mr. Moshe Orzech. It’s an inspiration. “ I love dealing with the frum community. As someone coming from a non Orthodox background it’s amazing to get phone calls from businessmen who tell me I made a mistake on the bill- in their favor! It’s a treat to be involved!”

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Tale

Y. RABINOVITZ

Photo Credit: Kobby Dagan / Shutterstock.com

A

A Fair

lmost as soon as the last pure, clear call of the shofar echoed through town, its plaintive voice gave way to the noise of hammer and saw, along with an occasional yelp of pain at a misplaced blow. With joy and great eagerness, the Jews of Sanz set about their Sukkos preparations, enveloped in the glow of forgiveness that the holy day of Yom Kippur had left in its wake.

Nonetheless, as the days passed, the Rebbe’s gabbaim became increasingly frantic. This year, although there were a reasonable number of esrogim on the market, none of them met the exacting standards of the holy Divrei Chaim of Sanz zy”a. Each and every day, as the merchants set out their wares, the gabbaim descended upon them like eager vultures, determined to find a perfect, mehudar esrog for their Rebbe – and each and every day, they returned home with disappointment etched on their faces and hearts full of anxiety.

What was to be done? Time was marching on relentlessly and their quest seemed by now futile. And so eventually it was decided to send out two emissaries to the largest city of the region, a few days’ journey away, in the hope and with the prayer that there, they would find their treasure.

Two upright, reliable chassidim were selected, and supplied with a large sum of money along with explicit instructions to find the very best esrog they could, regardless of the asking price, to present to the Rebbe in advance of the upcoming Yom Tov. And, they were warned, they had better hurry, as there was little time remaining…

EXCHANGE 30

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The emissaries set out, accompanied by the tefillos of the gabbaim and the good wishes of their families for a speedy return and the success of their trip. They hired a swift carriage, and by the following evening, they had arrived at their destination. By then, the market had already closed for the night, so they found lodgings in a Jewish-owned inn, and went to sleep with the intention of being the very first ones at the market in the morning.

Everything went perfectly to plan.

After rising before dawn and hurrying to the mikveh, the two emissaries davened vasikin with the town’s laborers and then, after gulping down a few bites of bread, they rushed to the market place.

Only the most industrious merchants had already arrived, and they were still busy setting up their stalls. The emissaries waited patiently, while murmuring Tehillim for the success of their mission. Eventually, the first merchant finished laying out his wares, and the pair hurried to his side and began to inspect his esrog collection. This year had been a terrible year for imports, and the fruit ranged from mediocre to poor in quality.

The merchant sighed as he related how difficult it was to provide his regular customers with an esrog that was even minimally adequate, and the emissaries sighed in turn at the failure of their mission they saw staring them in the face.

Nonetheless, it was still too early to despair. “Od hayom gadol,” and more merchants were still arriving, gathering in one little alleyway at the edge of the

market in order to make things easier for those seeking their own chefetz mitzvah.

The two men from Sanz went slowly from stall to stall, inspecting, holding up to the light, replacing with a sigh… it seemed hopeless. Meanwhile, the sun was climbing ever higher in the sky and they knew that soon they would have to leave town in order to arrive back in Sanz before Yom Tov… Suddenly, one of them felt a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around in surprise to be confronted with a smiling merchant, holding a small cloth sack.

whisper. He only hoped they had been given enough money to compensate the merchant for what had to be the best esrog to have passed through his hands that year.

But they were pleasantly surprised and relieved when he named a sum almost equal to, but not quite, the sum they had at their disposal, and so, without even bothering to barter, the deal was concluded and the two emissaries hurried to retrieve their belongings from the inn and charter a horse and cart for the journey home.

By the time night fell, they had not yet reached the half-way point of their journey, and the weary travelers could only hope that on the morrow they would make good progress and still arrive in Sanz with time to spare before Yom Tov began, the following night. They found an inn in the little village where they had stopped, and asked for the simplest of quarters – their funds were so severely depleted that they could afford nothing more than a tiny slither of a room.

The innkeeper invited them to sit down by the fire and have a bite to eat before they retired for the night, and they gratefully accepted his offer, while stipulating that they would only take bread and water. The innkeeper smiled.

“Hakadosh Baruch Hu has been very good to me, and I don’t lack for money, baruch Hashem. I’m happy to provide you with a good meal of fish and pie, without extra payment. I am a fish dealer, as you may already know, so don’t worry that you are causing me a loss.”

What an esrog! The clear yellow of its skin, unblemished by the slightest blettel, beamed up into their eyes

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“I have something I think may be of interest to you,” he began. “I heard that you come from Sanz, and are seeking an esrog for the holy Divrei Chaim – I think I have what you are looking for.”

The man placed the sack gently on a nearby bench and unwound the string securing its opening. Carefully he withdrew an esrog – and what an esrog! The clear yellow of its skin, unblemished by the slightest blettel, beamed up into the eyes of the emissaries, signaling loud and clear that their search had come to a end.

Reverently, one of them picked up the esrog and turned it around slowly, examining it critically from all sides. It was not perfect – for where does perfection exist in this world? – but it was the closest to perfection they had ever encountered in the fruit called “beautiful.”

“How much are you asking for this esrog?” the emissary asked, almost in a

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31

The emissaries exchanged glances. In Sanz, although it was just a day’s journey away, there was never fresh fish for sale – fish le’kavod Shabbos meant salted herring. How the Rebbe would appreciate a real fresh fish to grace his Yom Tov table!

Their eyes lit up as they contemplated the prospect, and then one of them spoke up: “A fish dealer! I wonder – perhaps you have a nice, large fish for sale?

In Sanz, where we come from, such fish is a true delicacy, and we would be delighted to be able to present the Rebbe, the holy Divrei Chaim, with fresh fish for Sukkos.”

The innkeeper’s face clouded.

“I am sorry to disappoint you,” he began. “The fish I will serve you tonight is not the best quality, but it is the only one I have left. Recently there has been a shortage of fish – usually I would have plenty for you to choose from, but right now, nothing. Except for one,” he added

thoughtfully, before swiftly continuing, “but that is for my own family, le’kavod Yom Tov. No – I cannot part with it. I am sorry.”

And no amount of imploring would cause him to budge.

tempted to reconsider. Nu – what do you say? How about an exchange – a fair deal, wouldn’t you say?”

The emissaries were in a quandary.

On the one hand, they had been specifically commissioned to purchase an esrog – and yet…

They wavered, and then finally made a decision. The fish it would be!

And so, early the next morning they packed the fish carefully in a large container of water, securing it on all sides so it wouldn’t be able to jump out however much the horse pranced and cantered, and they set out for Sanz. The hours dragged on and they exchanged anxious glances, davening that they would arrive at least a few hours before sunset. Their prayers were answered, and in a cloud of dust, the little cart finally rolled into town, to be immediately surrounded by the Rebbe’s gabbaim along with their families and neighbors.

“Nu – let’s see the esrog!” came the

They slowly withdrew the coverings from the container of water and revealed… the fish!

32

“It’s no use,” sighed one of the emissaries finally. “At least we got the esrog – we will just have to suffice with that. After all, that’s what we were told to buy.”

“An esrog?” The innkeeper pricked up his ears. “You found an esrog mehudar? May I see it?”

The emissaries agreed readily, proud to show off their find. The innkeeper was impressed.

“You know – I had resolved not to sell my fish at any price,” he mused aloud, “but now, seeing this esrog, I am

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excited cries, and the emissaries grinned as they anticipated the reaction to their purchase. Slowly, they withdrew the coverings from the container of water and revealed… the fish!

A stunned silence greeted them.

Eventually, one of the gabbaim found his tongue.

“You imbeciles!

You blockheads!

You incompetent pair of… How could you do such a thing!

You were told to buy an esrog, and you come back with a fish? Are you out of your minds?”

The poor emissaries turned first red, then white, then red again, and then, before their wives even had a chance to stop them, they jumped back into the cart and raced off, all the way to the next village, there to spend the first day of Sukkos and try to get over their shame and humiliation.

Meanwhile, the gabbaim were left holding the container with the fish, who swam about madly as if infuriated at the

hostile reception it was receiving. After a hasty conference, they decided not to inform the Rebbe of the mishap, so as not to cause him unnecessary agmas nefesh, and they sent in the fish to his wife to prepare for the seudah.

twofold! Eating fish at this seudas Yom Tov is being mekayem both the mitzvah of “vesamachta bechagecha” and also of “vekarasa leShabbos oneg” – rejoicing on Sukkos and making Shabbos a delight.

Please see to it that the two meshulachim are sent shirayim on Motzoei Shabbos.” And now it was the turn of the gabbaim to turn red and white in embarrassment…

And so, immediately after Shabbos, they sent for the two emissaries and brought them back to Sanz to be accorded great honor. And just a short while later, a swift carriage swept into town, bearing none other than the fish dealer, who had come to spend Chol Hamoed in Sanz in the presence of the holy Divrei Chaim, and to present the tzaddik with a unique gift – an esrog.

The fish swam about madly as if infuriated at the hostile reception it was receiving That night, after Maariv, the Rebbe entered his sukkah in high spirits, and made Kiddush with great hislahavus.

When the fish, beautifully prepared and presented, was brought in on a special platter, the Divrei Chaim beamed.

“Baruch Hashem, that we merited faithful emissaries, sheluchim ne’emanim. They realized that this year, as the first day of Sukkos falls on Shabbos, the mitzvah of arbaah minim is only d’Rabbanan – whereas the mitzvah to eat fish is d’Oraisa, and not only that, but

Heard from the tzaddik Harav Nuta Freund shlit”a, who heard the story from Harav Yehuda Horowitz of Dzhikov ztz”l.

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FEATURE

By Debbie Shapiro

T

his story took place over a decade ago. Although it’s about a flying sukkah, it really started about a week before the holiday, when the stores throughout Jerusalem were selling a new type of sechach that could be used again and again. Their advertisement ditty, “U’b’Sukkaseinu…” played to a catchy tune, blared throughout the streets of the city, and everyone, myself included, found himself humming it under her breath as she busily prepared for the upcoming holiday.

“It’ll be so much easier for you to build your sukkah with this new type of sechach,” I told my husband. “And it won’t make such a mess in the house,” I added. Every year my husband and sons dragged the old, wilted palm branches that we used for sechach up from the bomb shelter where they were stored during the year. Somehow, as they maneuvered the sechach and sukkah boards down the hallway over the dining room table and across the living room, they always managed to bang into at least one piece of furniture (to make sure that we’d never forget the holiday), and leave a few wilted brown palm “droppings” on the floor.

This year, I had visions of a clean living room and a very calm and

42

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quiet erev Sukkos.

But my husband insisted on roofing our sukkah with the old-fashioned palm branches. “We’ve always used them, and we’ll continue to use them,” he said.

I was frustrated. But it wasn’t worth arguing about, and besides, he was the one who had to schlep the palm branches up from the bomb shelter and position them on the sukkah roof. I just had to clean the droppings.

We were the only family in our apartment building whose sukkah was not roofed with a new easy-touse super-light bamboo rug.

Two days before Yom Tov, I received a phone call from the Chabad Chernobyl program. They had airlifted children out of the area affected by the Chernobyl nuclear disaster and brought them to Israel for medical treatment—as well as their first taste of Yiddishkeit—and wanted us to host two nine-year-old girls for the entire week of the holiday. Of course we agreed. It would be a privilege to introduce these youngsters to their heritage.

Olya and Katya had never seen a sukkah before; as a matter of fact, they had never even heard of the Jewish holiday of Sukkos before coming to Israel. Their eyes widened in amazement and delight when, through a combination of sign language and a few Hebrew words we explained that we actually eat and sleep in the sukkah for an entire week!

At the meal that evening, the girls were delighted by the neighbors singing together in stereophonic harmony, and giggled over our vain attempts to speak a few words of Russian.

44

Halfway through the soup, the weather suddenly changed. It wasn’t long before we could feel the first drops of rain penetrating the palm branches above our heads. Then, without any warning,

My husband insisted on roofing our sukkah with the old-fashioned palm branches the weather became vicious. The storm wind howled on all sides of us. We raced to the window and stared outside in amazement. Just a few minutes before everything had been calm and serene.

Now, the trees were bending and… yes, that’s when we saw the first roof flying through the air, accompanied to a rousing rendition of “Harachaman hu yakim lanu

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es Sukkos Dovid Hanofales—May the Allmerciful One rebuild the fallen sukkah of Dovid” from the neighbor’s now roofless sukkah.

Within less than an hour the street was full of soggy bamboo rugs and ruined decorations were bobbing in the river that had once been our street. Ours was one of the few sukkahs to survive the storm—and I was very grateful to my husband for being so obstinate and old fashioned.

We tried to explain to our guests that this was not part of the usual Sukkos celebration, but they seemed to think that flying sechach and roofless sukkos were the norm, and they loved every moment of it!

When it was time for Olya and Katya to return to their dormitory at the end of the week, we felt as if they were part of our family, and I believe the feeling was mutual. With their limited vocabulary, they let us know that Sukkos with the Shapiros was an experience they would never forget, and thanked us profusely.

I told them that if they really want to show their appreciation, they could do me one favor—one very important favor, that would mean a lot to me, and to the entire Jewish people.

Olya and Katya’s interest was piqued.

“What’s that?” they asked.

“Promise me that when you grow up, you’ll make sure to marry a Jewish boy,” I answered.

They could not promise.

I can only pray that the All-Merciful One rebuilds His fallen sukkah, quickly and in our days.

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A Time To Repent…

Miriam Weiser

G

oing to tashlich is a yearly tradition, a short but enjoyable family trip. It is the perfect time to clean your freezer of leftover challah or bread. The challah you thought you’ll make French toast with. Or the bread you planned using for homemade bread crumbs. It could happen, you think.

The time will come and you will make something out of the ends, the scraps and the leftovers that are littering the freezer, taking up precious space. It is also a good time to clean your soul of the sins you may have acquired throughout the year.

One year, my family and I got the soulcleaning of a lifetime when we got caught in the tornado that crashed over Brooklyn and the surrounding areas, uprooting trees, crashing cars and unfortunately claiming a few lives.

There was a slight breeze as my children and I piled into the car with our machzorim and bags of challah, a few minutes after five o’clock in the afternoon.

It was going to rain, so we were going to hurry a bit. As we drove toward our local Ikea, which is near the ocean, the wind picked up. The streets were clean and the ride was smooth. The sun disappeared quickly as we parked our car in the nearempty lot and brisk-walked toward the water, where we would quickly say our

46

prayers and dump our sins to the fish.

“Hey, we made it,” someone said.

“It isn’t raining yet.”

No sooner were those words uttered than the skies opened up and let a torrential downpour upon us, soaking all

One year, my family and I got the soulcleaning of a lifetime of us within seconds. I was holding my nine-month-old baby in one arm and my machzor in the other. Trying to grab ahold of my four-year-old, I put the machzor in between myself and the baby. The rain soaked the pages and went right through the thin sweater set the baby was wearing.

As a unit, we ran for shelter, screaming, some with laughter some with fear, towards the little hangar which served as a waiting area to the people departing on the water taxi.

The rain and wind howled and whipped at us through the wide slits in

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the glass walls. We huddled together like a team of players before a game, as they pray for a win. The only other people with us were a group of three female tourists, who shouted and giggled and tried to photograph the moment, while all along I just prayed we get out of there and home safe. The little kids cried, eyes wide with distress and panic. The older ones looked to us, the parents, for promise. But we were mere mortals under the hand of a much higher and mightier authority.

And there we stood, leaning on one another, hoping and praying in our own words, for the harsh and wet winds wouldn’t let us hold our machzorim open to read.

After about ten minutes like this, we decided to make a run for it. After all, we were already wet to the bone anyway. The rain and wind weren’t letting up. Getting to the car was something we felt we had to do, and fast.

“Should we run to the car?” My husband shouted above the racket.

“We’re all wet already, anyway!”

I hollered back from four inches away.

“We might as well.”

“Do you think we should?”

“I don’t know!” And then I said, “maybe we should.”

And then we ran. And made it to the car, breathless and wet and finally

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a

Great Day starts with a

laughing at the experience. I yelled to my husband to shut off the air conditioning as we were all cold and shivering.

The rain had not stopped. But in our naiveté, the car felt like the fortress we required in this hour of need. In hindsight, this may have been a very dangerous move on our part. I guess we were being closely watched and monitored from above.

As we left the vacant parking lot and began driving toward home, which was perhaps ten minutes away, a collective gasp was expressed by one and all, except maybe the baby. Right in front of us, a colossal tree lay on its side, on top of a car, which was now totaled. My husband maneuvered the car and found another road. There too, trees were uprooted and splayed about like an assembly of downed performers in a dance gone bad.

It took us a few moments to grasp the concept of our unique and miraculous situation and to ask ourselves and each other, “What in the world is going on around here?”

In a moment the radio was blasting the weather situation.

Apparently, this ephemeral storm was more than just a storm. It was a tornado, passing in the night, wreaking havoc and leaving chaos behind. My family and I were in the thick of it and Boruch Hashem lived to tell the tale.

It was only once we arrived home and scampered out of the car, hairs wet and dangly, clothes sticking, machzorim soaked, that one of my children gave a shout with glee. “We forgot to throw them in the water! The challos are still here!”

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We hope for many more years together.

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SUKKOT fun 5777 WORD FIND

Sukkot is celebrated on the 15th day of the month of Tishrei for 7 days inside the Land of Israel and 8 days outside the land. During the time of the Holy Temple it was one of the Three Pilgrimage Festivals.

Sukkot literally means Feast of Booths as Jews are commanded to live in a Sukkah, a temporary walled structure, covered with schach (branches), which is similar to what the Jews lived in while traveling in the desert. Just as HaShem provided the Jews protection in the desert with the Clouds of Glory, He is always our ultimate protector. On Sukkot, we are also commanded to shake the four species - an etrog (citron), a lulav (palm frond), three hadassim (myrtle twigs) and two aravot (willow twigs). On each day of the festival (excepting Shabbat), we take the four species, recite a blessing over them, and wave them in all six directions.

The seventh day of Sukkot is called Hoshana Rabbah ("Great Salvation") which closes the period of Divine judgment begun on Rosh Hashanah. A special observance is the aravah--the taking of a bundle of willow branches. The Torah is read every day during Sukkot.

spot the difference Which one is different?

Hint: Sukkah

3 WALLS

4 WALLS

9 DAYS

TEMPORARY

EAT

SLEEP

CROSSWORD Complete the crossword by translating each Hebrew word into English. Use the reference from Parsha Emor, read on first day Sukkot, for help.

1

2

ACROSS

3

4

5

6 7 8

1. ‫( חדש‬23:6) 4. ‫( כבש‬23:12) 6. ‫( אחד‬22:28) 7. ‫( ששה‬23:3) 8. ‫( ארץ‬22:33)

DOWN

2. ‫( קרבן‬22:27) 3. ‫( קדש‬22:32) 5. ‫( לחם‬23:14)

Can you discover the Secret Message? Find and circle the bold, italicized words from the Sukkot summary in the Word Find. Write the unused Word Find letters in the spaces below to spell the Secret Message.

Have Fun!

S H A K E M T G R E A T H S U K K O T

E V E R Y

T R O S H N S D U O L C E W T O R T W A T H G D V

S R H

I

I

I

E A A O H

A A D G E R T M K D R A Y

L

V R S E H H E E

T R

S U S U E E C W A V E O R L

Y O D A A Y O

S U K F

E K O T

I

F

T

L O H

Y

SECRET MESSAGE

___ _____ __ ____ _____ ___ __ ______

gematria

Hint: The Sukkah reminds us of the Clouds

‫ו‬ -‫ב‬

‫ס‬ ÷‫י‬

‫ל‬ - ‫כח‬

‫ה‬ x‫ד‬

‫ק‬

÷‫כ‬ ‫ה‬

‫א ב ג ד ה ו ז ח ט י כ ל מ נ ס ע פ צ ק ר ש ת‬ 400 300 200 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10

9

WORD CMRLESAB ERPSAI ______ SUTD ____

ISGNRI ______ HMEROT ______

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

(scramble)

EYNDE _____ HNICDRLE ________

Hint: Hallel - Psalm 113

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Zman Simchoseinu

A Time to Rejoice Gitta Bixenspanner n.d.

With the Rosh Hashono and Yom Kipur behind us we can now focus on the joyous Yom Tov Succos We look forward to welcoming guests to our Succah along with the Ushpizin who come to celebrate with us.

What a remarkable people is Am Yisrael! At the lushest season of the year, at the time of the harvest, we are called upon annually to leave our comfortable houses and go dwell in temporary booth.

Yet far from resenting this forced move, we willingly leave our

60

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Seared Salmon over Whole Wheat Pasta Ingredients 4 slices salmon fillet kosher salt fresh cracked pepper Old Bay seasoning ( a combination of celery salt, paprika black pepper pinch of cayenne, pinch dry mustard, pinch of ginger) 2 Tbs extra virgin olive oil, divided 3/4 lb whole wheat spaghetti 1 large clove garlic 1/4 c dry white wine 1/2 c reserved pasta water 1/4 cup toasted slivered almonds Instructions Preheat oven to 425F. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook pasta according to package directions; leave al dente. Remove from stove and rinse

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through a colander.

Meanwhile, heat a large skillet on high heat. Season salmon fillets with salt, pepper, and Old Bay. Add 1 tablespoon oil to the hot skillet, heat briefly, then add the fish fillets, wine. Season with salt, pepper, and Old Bay. Remove from the pot.

Place fish on an oiled baking dish and broil for 10 minutes.

Remove To serve, place a mound of pasta on each of 4 plates. Top each with a piece of salmon, douse with sauce , and toasted slivered or sliced almonds Preparation 15 minutes Serves 4

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COMFORTING CREAMY BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP This is one of the easiest recipes to prepare and one that everyone loves. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great way to welcome fall with their special bounty..

Ingredients 1 medium sized butternut squash peeled, seeded and cut into large chunks (2-3 inches) 2 large carrots peeled and cut in chunks 2 Tbs oil 32 oz vegetable stock or water 1/3 cup toasted slivered almonds Salt and pepper to taste

Add vegetable broth and simmer for 20-30 minutes until squash is soft.

Let cool and puree in blender until very smooth. Allow to simmer another 20 minutes, add water if necessary.

Adjust seasoning garnish with toasted slivered almonds and serve hot. For an even better flavor, refrigerate for a day or two.

Preparation 20 minutes Serves 4

Directions Fry the squash over high heat stirring frequently until the squash is slightly browned and very aromatic. Add salt to taste and fry a minute longer.

62

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Roasted Cauliflower Salad INGREDIENTS 3 lbs cauliflower ¼ cup olive oil, divided 2 cloves garlic, minced ¼ cup chopped flat leaf parsley 16 pitted olives, chopped 1 ½ tbsp fresh lemon juice ¼ tsp red pepper flakes, or more to taste Salt and pepper to taste DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Place the florets in a large bowl and drizzle them with 1 tablespoon olive oil. Add the minced garlic to the bowl.

Toss gently until florets are thoroughly coated Spread the florets out in an even layer on the baking sheet.

Reserve any small bits of cauliflower that have fallen away from the florets in a small bowl. Sprinkle the cauliflower florets lightly with pepper.

Place the baking sheet into the preheated oven and let the cauliflower roast for 10 minutes. While cauliflower is roasting, prep your other ingredients—chop the parsley, juice the lemon,

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etc.

After 10 minutes, remove the baking sheet from the oven. Use tongs to turn over the florets, making sure that the florets with flat surfaces are pressed directly against the baking sheet. This will enhance caramelization. Sprinkle the reserved cauliflower bits onto the baking sheet. Return the baking sheet to the oven.

Let the cauliflower roast for 10-20 minutes longer till tender.

When it’s ready you will be able to pierce it easily with a fork.

Remove the cauliflower from the oven. Spread it out on a large plate or platter and allow to cool.

Throw the room temperature cauliflower into a salad bowl along with the remaining 3 tbsp of olive oil, parsley, chopped olives, capers, lemon juice and red pepper flakes. The red pepper flakes are very spicy, add with care.

Toss gently to combine all ingredients. Season with salt and pepper to taste (I didn’t add any salt because the olives and capers are salty, but some might like a touch of salt added to this dish). You can also add more olive oil to taste, if desired.

Serve salad at room temperature.

Preparation time 10 minutes Serves 6

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Beef Stew with Butternut Squash Take your basic beef stew to the next level by making this simple, fragrant beef recipe featuring butternut squash and served over a bed of rice or quinoa or even mashed potatoes.

Ingredients 1 (1-pound) beef shoulder roast trimmed and cut into 1-inch cubes 4 shallots, quartered 4 garlic cloves, chopped 1/2 cup fat-free, lower-sodium chicken broth 1 (14.5-ounce) can no-salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained 3 cups (1-inch) cubed peeled butternut squash (about 1 pound) 2 Tbs olive oil 2 tsp paprika 1 tsp garlic powder 1tsp onion powder 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp pepper 2 Tbs soy sauce

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1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro ( optional) Directions Combine last 7 ingredients in a medium bowl mix well. Add beef; toss well to coat.

Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat.

Add beef and shallots; cook 4 minutes or until browned, stirring occasionally. Add garlic; cook 1 minute, stirring frequently. Stir in broth and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Cook 25 minutes. Add squash; cover, reduce heat, and simmer 25 minutes or until beef and squash are tender. Sprinkle with cilantro.

Serve over cooked rice or prepared quinoa.

Preparation 20 minutes 4 servings (serving size: 1 1/2 cups)

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Fluffy Berry Cobbler Ingredients Nonstick cooking spray 4 eggs 1/2 cup sugar 1 tsp vanilla Dash salt 1 1/2 cups apple cider 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder 3 cups assorted fresh berries (such as blueberries, cherries and/ or sliced strawberries) Directions

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Preheat oven to 400 degree F. Lightly coat six 6-ounce individual ramekins or quiche dishes with nonstick cooking spray. Arrange in a 15x10x1-inch baking pan; set aside. In a medium bowl, combine eggs, granulated sugar, vanilla, and salt; whisk until light and frothy. Whisk in apple juice until combined. Add flour and baking powder; whisk until smooth.

Divide berries among prepared dishes. Pour batter over berries.

(Batter will not cover berries completely.) Bake about 20 minutes or until puffed and golden brown. Serve warm. If desired, sift powdered sugar over each serving. Makes 6 servings.

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Fruit Parfait Fresh fruits are luscious and healthier than any other dessert.

This parfait is simple to create. It looks beautiful and tastes delicious!

Use any fruits you have in your refrigerator. Cut fruit into small pieces; add some orange juice if desired. Serve in a parfait cup for an elegant effect! Decorate with a sprinkle of flaked coconuts.

Preparation 10 minutes

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