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5 Strategies for Kids Anxious about Going Back to School by Adina Soclof
How to fight the back to school blues.
S
ummer is coming to an end. The stores are stocked with fresh school supplies and that back to school excitement is in the air. But there are many children who aren’t so excited. The complaints, the stomachaches, and the sad faces are starting up again. Here are five strategies to help your reluctant child get back into gear for the upcoming school year.
1.
Dial back the pressure. Our society values academic achievement above all. Jewish culture also places great value on learning. There is nothing so appealing as having a child who is a straight “A” student. However, we need to rethink our values. Yes, good grades matter, but how much? And at what cost? There are many people who did not do well in school but have achieved greatness in life (Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs come to mind). Think about your childhood friends who didn’t experience success in school. Chances are many of them are doing just fine. Oftentimes children’s
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talents are not appreciated in the confines of the classroom. It is only after they leave that they begin to flourish.
2. Focus on learning what you love. Parents often talk about grades: “How did you do on your test?” “Why didn’t you get an ‘A’? “You need to study more to get good grades!” Instead talk about loving to learn which encourages curiosity: “Was there something interesting you learned today?” “What piqued your interest today in school?” “You learned about cumulus clouds? You’ve always been interested in weather!” Every once in a while tell your child, “I care more that you enjoy learning than you getting good grades. It means more to me that that you find something that interests you and want to learn more about it.” Ironically, the more we let our kids know that their grades are not everything, the more they will take school seriously themselves.
3.
Praise intentionally. Don’t praise your child for his intelligence, saying things like, “You are the brightest kid I know!” Instead praise him for working hard and for persevering at a difficult task. Children who are praised for putting in effort are more likely to keep trying when they encounter setbacks. They know they have control over their ability to learn. Children who are told they are smart have a harder time with school and are more likely to give up when they have to complete assignments that leave them feeling “not-so-smart.” 4. Empathize and empower. When children complain about school, our knee jerk reaction is to deny their feelings or give them logical explanations about why they should love school. “School is not so bad…” “Your teacher likes you! She is not so mean, it’s just tough being a teacher.” “You just need one friend! Don’t worry about all the other kids!” We need to read between the lines
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when our children moan about school. When kids kick up a fuss they are essentially telling us one thing: “School is really difficult for me and I need to know that I am okay.” Alternatively, school might be okay for them, but they may be struggling socially. In that case they are saying, “I can’t figure out this social thing, it feels overwhelming.” The best thing that we can do is to first accept their feelings: “Something about school is bothering you…” “You sound like you are struggling with math…” “Your uncomfortable with your teacher…” “Your classmates make you feel embarrassed about your reading…” “Kids are being mean to other kids…it sounds like you don’t know what to do…” We can then empower them to come up with their own solutions to their problems: “Do you have any ideas of what you can do to make math easier for you?” “Do you want some ideas on how to deal with mean kids? Do you want to know what other kids your age do? Do you have any ideas yourself?” “What do you think would make school more enjoyable for you?” “What can you do to build a better and more comfortable relationship with your teacher? Empathy and questions to empower our kids demonstrate that we understand and care for them. Most important, it teaches them that we have faith that they have the ability to overcome their own challenges.
5.
Get help. If your child is constantly complaining about school and is feeling overwhelmed, do not hesitate to reach out for help. There are so many resources out there to support children in their learning. Start with your child’s teacher, school social worker or principal.
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How to Really Grow During the Month of Elul by Rabbi Noah Weinberg
A
pious man encountered a group of triumphant soldiers coming back from a fierce battle, flushed with victory. “You have returned victorious from a minor struggle,” he said to them. “Now get ready for the major battle.” “And what is that major battle?” they asked. “The war within us, against the evil inclination. That is the great war. You just came back from three weeks of intense fighting, and now the enemy has been vanquished. But fighting the insanity of the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, never ends. Even after 100 defeats, he will never leave you alone. The battle is constant. He will not rest until he kills you. The moment you let your guard down, he will pounce and attempt to utterly destroy you. “In a typical war there is a front line. Sometimes you are surrounded, but at least you know where the enemy lies. The yetzer hara, however, is a master of
10
disguise. He knows how to mask illusions as reality, how to rationalize evil as good. He is so devious, he knows how to get you to harm yourself and your loved ones without your even realizing it.” (Duties of the Heart, Shaar Yichud Hamaaseh, chapter 5) We are beginning the Hebrew month of Elul. It is time to intensify the battle against the yetzer hara and restock our supply of weapons. The enemy’s first plan of attack is to knock out your sense of personal responsibility and get you to hand it over to someone else. “Let my teachers inspire me,” you think. Or, “Let my rabbi tell me what I have to work on.” Stop waiting for someone to tell you what to change during Elul. You are responsible for yourself. You must do the necessary introspection, get in contact with yourself, and determine what you need to work on. As the Mishnah says, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” (Avos 1:14). No one can help you grow
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unless you take responsibility for yourself. Your teachers can give you the greatest tools in the world for self-transformation, but you will leave those tools on the bench if you don’t take responsibility for your own life. You need to get clarity about what life means to you. What do you want to accomplish this coming year? What are you committed to tackling? If you don’t make these decisions, you might easily delude yourself into thinking that you are preparing adequately for Rosh Hashanah by listening to some inspiring talks and hoping that somehow these great rabbis will make you great. No one can make you great. No one can turn you into a Torah scholar. There are no shortcuts; you are solely responsible for your own growth and learning. Toughen up and stop relying on others. No one can do it for you.
Judgment and Love
The month of Elul seem to be
paradoxical. On the one hand it is the time for “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li – I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me” – an acronym for “Elul.” It is a time when we feel G-d’s intense love and closeness. Yet Elul is also the time to prepare for Rosh Hashanah, when the Book of Life and the Book of Death are open and the King of the universe sits in judgment, deciding who will live and who will die, who will have cancer and who will be cured, who will be crushed in an accident and who will survive. There seems to be a contradiction between “I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me” and the Day of Judgment. How are the two related? Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, the Ramchal, encapsulates in one paragraph the whole point of our existence, and in doing so gives us an answer. In The Way of G-d (1:4:6) he writes, “The root purpose of the service of G-d is for the human being to constantly turn to his Creator, to realize that he was created for the sole purpose of being drawn close to his Creator….” Everything that happens to us in this world is for one reason and one reason alone: to get closer to the Almighty, to feel that I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me. The Jew understands that everything G-d does is for our good; it is an expression of His love. Every judgment He renders – whether a windfall or a bankruptcy – is exactly what we need to grow closer to Him. I am for my Beloved, if you love the Almighty and appreciate that He is your father, then my Beloved is for me, you will
see that the Almighty loves you and that everything He does is for your good. But if you don’t appreciate what G-d has done for you and instead you have complaints, you will mistakenly think He does not love you. The Ramchal describes the objective of the war against the yetzer hara: “Man was placed in this world only to overcome his evil inclination and subjugate himself to His Creator through the power of his intellect. He must overcome his physical desire and tendencies, and direct all of his activities toward attaining this purpose [of coming close to G-d]” (ibid). It is up to us to choose to cling to G-d by vanquishing our yetzer hara and rising above the vanities and confusion of the world.
Learning Torah
The Ramchal then identifies the primary weapon G-d gave us to fight the yetzer hara and achieve our purpose: “G-d gave us one means that is greater than anything else in bringing man close to G-d, and that is Torah study” (1:4:9). There is nothing more powerful than learning Hashem’s instructions for living. These are the actual words of our Creator. But the Ramchal sets conditions: “For the person who reads them in holiness and purity, with the proper intent of fulfilling G-d’s will, these words have the unique property of causing the one who reads them to incorporate in himself excellence and greatest perfection.” We need to learn Torah with holiness and purity, which means that our learning has to be lishmah,
unadulterated, for the sake of Heaven. Our motivation to get close to G-d cannot be mixed with the desire for approval or the need to conform to societal pressure. Elul is the time to examine your goals and drives. Why are you learning Torah? Make sure it is for the right reasons. Keep it pure. And lastly, learn Torah with the intent to fulfill G-d’s will, as we say in our daily prayers in the second blessing before reciting the Shema: “Instill in our hearts to understand and elucidate, to listen, learn, teach, safeguard, perform and fulfill all the words of your Torah’s teaching with love.” Torah study is not just for intellectual stimulation. The goal is for you to absorb it in your bones and live it. Torah learning has to change you and bring you closer to the Almighty. If your intent is not to fulfill what you are learning, you may know an incredible amount of Torah, but you are just a donkey carrying books. Your knowledge has not penetrated into the fiber of your being. The shofar is blowing; you are moving closer to the Day of Judgment. You are at war. The enemy is at the gate. Now is the time to strengthen your resolve to fight the great battle against the yetzer hara. It is time to take responsibility for every aspect of your life, to reconnect to G-d’s constant love, and to intensify your determination to learn Torah with purity, in order to fulfill the G-d’s will. No one can do it for you. Excerpted from Wisdom for Living: Rabbi Noah Weinberg on the Parashah.
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The Shmuz on the Parsha
Using Visualizations Parshas Ki Savo “Moshe Rabbeinu told the Jewish people, “Today HASHEM has commanded you to fulfill all of the statues and laws. . .” — Devarim 26:16 Rashi is troubled by Moshe’s use of the word today, implying that HASHEM first commanded the Jews to do the mitzvahs that day when in reality, HASHEM gave the Jewish people the mitzvahs almost 40 years earlier. Rashi answers this question by explaining that Moshe was telling them that, “Every day, in your eyes, it should be as if you were commanded in them today.” In other words, there should be an excitement with which we do the mitzvahs, a freshness and new energy, as if this was the first time that we are hearing about them. How can the Torah expect it to still be new? This Rashi is difficult to understand because we know that for every experience, there is a first time. When something is new, it is original, exciting, and fresh, but that newness quickly fades; the excitement wanes. The value of the experience isn’t any less, but that certain crisp newness is gone. That is a reality of life. So how can the Torah expect the Jewish people to look at old mitzvahs as if they were given that day, when it just isn’t so? And how can the Torah expect me today, thousands of years after the mitzvahs were given, to view each
14
mitzvah as if this is the very first time that I am fulfilling it? The answer to this question lies in understanding certain tools that HASHEM gave to man. The power of imagination If you remember reading a wellwritten novel as a child, you may have found yourself somewhere you had never been before. You might have been brought to the 17th century as a pirate sailing the seven seas. There you were, out on the ocean with the buck and the sway of the waves, fighting off your enemy as he tried to board your ship. The sun glinting in your eyes, you pulled your sword from its scabbard, prepared for the battle. The enemy boarded your vessel; you dug your feet into the deck, tightening your fist on your sword, ready to pounce. And suddenly, your mother called you to dinner. Gone was the pirate ship, gone was the scabbard and sword, and rudely you were pulled back to reality. That is an example of imagination at work. Imagination is a powerful tool that HASHEM put into a person for a number of reasons. One of its functions is to make a scene, a time, or an event real. It can bring me to a different time, to a land I never saw, to an experience that I never had, and yet it is me right there. I feel it. I experience it. And in my mind’s eye, those events are actually happening to me.
I may even have physiological reactions to the event; my heart rate will quicken, my blood pressure will increase, and my palms will begin sweating as I live that experience. If you have ever cried when you read a book even though you knew the events in it never happened, it is a classic example of this phenomenon. Using visualizations Imagination is also a tool that can help a person achieve success. Olympic athletes are trained to use visualizations. A diver will see himself standing high on the platform, the water glistening below. He is there in the stadium with the crowd cheering as he flawlessly performs his dive. He is living that experience in his mind, and it affects his performance later. He has already been there and done that. The results of using visualizations are powerful. Studies show that not only do athletes who use them improve, so do many other people whose activities require peak performance. From a salesman going on a new call to a surgeon performing a difficult operation, performance can be greatly increased by seeing the event happen successfully. This seems to be the answer for this Rashi. The Torah is telling us that a person can and should view the mitzvahs as if they are brand new, as if I heard about them for the very first time today. In my
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How can the Torah expect me to view this mitzvah as if it were first given today? mind, I can feel that newness if I use this technique to visualize that I have first heard about them today. And this can bring freshness and a new energy to the manner in which I perform these mitzvahs. This concept is something that is very useful in our Avodas HASHEM. More precious than fine gold
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Dovid Ha’Melech describes that, “The Torah is more precious to me than fine gold.” Chazal tell us that “a mere whiff of the World to Come is more pleasurable than all of the enjoyments of this world.” Could you imagine the impact it would have on your life if you actually felt that way? Could you imagine the effect it would have on your enthusiasm for the mitzvahs if for one minute you sensed that? The change in your life would be enormous. The problem is that I don’t feel that way. It’s not that I don’t want to; I just don’t. Granted mitzvahs are important, and I recognize their place, but to actually feel that they are more precious than gold and silver just isn’t real. But it can become real if I close my eyes and imagine a king’s treasure room, filled with chests and chests of gold coins, diamonds, sapphires, and pearls. . . and then I imagine that every time that I open a sefer to learn or daven appropriately, I am depositing another precious stone in my storehouse of fine gems. The Torah is teaching us that visualizations work, and we can use them. Our imagination is vivid and powerful. The key is to use it without letting it control us.
Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier was a high school rebbe for 15 years before creating Shmuz.com. The Shmuz, a popular website that dispenses weekly Torah inspiration to 10,000 people across the globe, reflects the down-to-earth, practical voice of Rabbi Shafier. Offering refreshing parasha thoughts, life-changing hashkafa workshops, and captivating marriage seminars (like “10 Really Dumb Mistakes that Very Smart Couples Make”), Rabbi Shafier is direct, daring, and downright funny, providing audiences with essential Torah principles packaged in an enticing, enjoyable way. A father of six and grandfather of four, Rabbi Shafier lives in Monsey, New York.
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The Next Solar Eclipse in 2024:
A Startling Message for the World
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mazingly enough, the “totality eclipse” which took place this past Monday across the continental United States was not the end of the story. While eclipses of this magnitude are fairly rare occurrences – scientists tell us that if you stood in one place on earth you would have to wait on average another 360 years until you again saw another total eclipse – this time round is going to be different. A sequel is due a mere seven years later, on April 8, 2024. This proximity of time is almost beyond belief. It defies law of averages. It means that anyone who might have missed
22
the blackout of the sun this year will have another opportunity to join the millions who shared viewing this magnificent cosmic performance on August 21 of this year. But there’s something even more remarkable about this “double feature.” The path of the eclipse in 2017 went from Northwest to Southeast, from Oregon to South Carolina. It reached its point of greatest duration a few miles south of Carbondale, Illinois. Totality lasted for two minutes and thirty-eight seconds. In 2024 the eclipse will wend its way in the opposite direction, from the Northeast to the southwest. There is
by Rabbi Benjamin Blech
one point however which will mark the intersection between this year’s eclipse and the one to come, the meeting of the two different paths across the United States, as if marking the center of a large X. It is precisely in the very same spot in Illinois where totality – the complete eclipse of the sun – will be repeated for the greatest length of time. That exact point where the 2017 and 2024 lines of totality cross is Cedar Lake in Jackson County, just south of Carbondale. And here is the spooky part. That geographic location has a name. It is called Little Egypt! How it got its name has a biblical
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The mystical meaning of the next eclipse which is only seven years away.
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source. It seems that in the mid-19th century there was a famine in northern Illinois. Thankfully, there was a bountiful harvest in the South. So the people in the North said that they felt themselves like the children of Jacob who in a time of famine were forced to go down to Egypt to seek food for their families – and the Carbondale region which saved their lives became known to this day as Little Egypt. If you believe, as I do, that coincidences are but God’s way of choosing to remain anonymous and that they carry great significance as divinely inspired messages, it surely bears noting the remarkable link between the story of our original exile to Egypt and the “X marks the spot” Little Egypt location of the rare dual eclipses of our decade. There is an all-important number associated with the Torah account of the Egyptian exile. It was in a prophecy to Abraham that God informed our patriarch of the time that
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would first bring darkness to his descendants: “You shall surely know that your seed will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, and they will enslave them and oppress them, for 400 years” (Genesis 15:13). A solar eclipse is predicated on that very number. The sun, as the Bible told us, is larger than the moon: “And God made the two great luminaries: the large luminary to rule the day and the small luminary to rule the night…” (Genesis 1:15).] To be exact we know that the sun is exactly 400 times larger than the moon. How is it possible for the moon, so much smaller, to cover the sun to our eyes in an eclipse? That is because the sun is also 400 times further from us than the moon – a relationship of distance exactly parallel to that of size! In the mystic tradition of Kabbalah the number 400 is meant to alert us to special meaning. It is the number 40 – the days Moses spent on mount Sinai, the days of the flood, and a host of other spiritually important moments – brought to the tenth power. The relationship between the sun and the moon and the years predicted for the Egyptian exile share the number 400 so that we be attentive to a powerful divine message. An eclipse, the Talmud teaches us, is a heavenly sign. An eclipse of the moon, the rabbis tell us, is a bad omen for the Jewish people; an eclipse of the sun is a bad sign for the non-Jewish world. I dare to suggest that an eclipse across the continental United States of America linked to Little Egypt may well serve as a warning to the darkening of the American spirit – for the very same reason the children of Israel ended up in Egypt of old to shortly begin the era of their slavery. The children of Jacob were guilty of a serious crime. It was the sin of hatred between brothers. It was the crime of the sale of Joseph which led to our first exile. That is what first darkened the pages of our national history as Jews. And that is what, post Charlottesville, darkens the story of American democracy. The cover of this week’s Time magazine carries the ominous headline “Hatred Across America”. More than a century after the Civil War, Americans are at war with each other – and after a little more than half a century past the Holocaust the barbaric cries of Nazi anti-Semitism and “let’s replace the Jews” are also incredibly again heard in our land. If an eclipse does in fact have divine meaning, this must be a wake-up call. Little Egypt speaks to contemporary America just as ancient Egypt did for us as Jews throughout the ages. Egypt with either adjective, little or ancient, has always served as a tragic lesson for the consequences of enmity between brother and brother, between human beings all created in the same image of God. In an eclipse, the sun continues to shine even if we are temporarily blinded to the rays of its goodness. God has not deserted us, nor will He ever do so. Eclipses are not curses; they are but warnings. If we but heed their message, we may turn the eclipses of 2017 and 2024 into the blessings for which they were divinely intended.
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Simple Chicken Recipes ken is ic h c , in la p r o y ic p Sweet or sour, s at meal. b b a h S a y n a m f o the mainstay
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Tangy Roast Chicken 1 chicken 2 Tbsp. brown sugar 4 large onions, sliced 1/4 cup ketchup 2 Tbsp. oil 2 Tbsp. soy sauce 1/2 cup water Roast chicken uncovered for 1 hour at 350 degrees F. (175 degrees C.). Saute onions. Add water, brown sugar, ketchup, and soy sauce. Pour over chicken, cover, and bake an additional 1/2 hour or more. Serve hot or cold.
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Baked Chicken with an Assortment of Sauces Cut chicken into quarters or smaller pieces (some cooks remove the skin). Sprinkle each piece lightly Amounts are intended for 2 medium-sized chickens. with paprika or garlic powder and/or black pepper. (Do not salt.) All are baked (covered, or uncovered, as per instructions) at 350 degrees F. (175 degrees C.) and are done Arrange pieces in a single layer in a roasting pan. Then when brown and fork-tender. Chicken prepared this choose a sauce from the sauce selections, following way can be served hot at the evening meal and cold at the directions carefully. the midday meal. 28
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Honey-Garlic Sauce Combine: 6 Tbsp. honey 1 tsp. garlic powder 6 Tbsp. soy sauce 1 tsp. ginger Coat chicken pieces with mixture; bake uncovered, basting often, for 1 hour.
1/2 tsp. black pepper 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1 tsp. garlic powder Spread on chicken pieces. Bake for 45 minutes covered, then for about 1/2 hour uncovered.
Barbecue Sauce
Combine: 2 onions, sliced and fried in oil 1 tsp. black pepper 2 tsp. paprika juice of 2 oranges
Combine: 1 cup canned tomato sauce 2 Tbsp. sugar 1 medium onion, chopped 1 tsp. mustard 1 clove garlic, minced 1/8 tsp. paprika 1/2 cup soy sauce
Pour over chicken pieces. Bake uncovered for 45 minutes or longer, basting often.
Pour over chicken and bake uncovered for about 1 hour, basting occasionally.
A l’Orange
Coffee Sauce Combine: 3/4 cup strong hot coffee (about 1 Tbsp. instant coffee to 3/4 cup boiling water) 2 Tbsp. lemon juice 2 Tbsp. wine vinegar (or other vinegar) 1 Tbsp. oil 1/3 cup ketchup 1/4 cup brown sugar 3 Tbsp. soy sauce Pour over chicken and cover pan for first 1/2 hour. Baste and continue baking for another 1/2 hour, uncovered.
Apricot Sauce Combine: 1/2 cup apricot jam
Shabbos in a Pot oil to cover pan 1 cup brown rice 1 onion, diced 1 chicken cut in serving pieces 1 carrot, diced 1/4 cup tomato paste 1 zucchini, diced 1 3/4 cup water 3-5 cloves garlic, minced 1 Tbsp. soy sauce sesame seeds (optional) 30
salt to taste In a large frying pan, sauce onion, carrot, zucchini, garlic, and sesame seeds in oil till soft. Add rice. Place chicken on top of rice mixture and pour liquid over it. Bring to the boil and cover. Lower heat. Simmer about 45 minutes or until liquid is absorbed. With soup and salad, you have a complete meal. The rice takes on the flavor of the chicken. Delicious! Serves 4.
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13-4 lb. (11/2-2 kg.) chicken cut into pieces 1 cup orange juice 2 eggs, beaten 1/2-1 cup honey 2 cups bread crumbs 1/2 cup water salt pepper
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. (175 degrees C.). Combine bread crumbs, salt, and pepper. Roll chicken pieces in egg, then in bread crumbs, and place in pan. Cover and bake for 15 minutes. Mix orange juice, honey, and water. Pour over chicken. Bake for additional 30-45 minutes, until tender. Serve hot or cold.
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Baked Chicken with Honey-Orange Sauce
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The Holocaust Survivor & the SS Guard by Judy Gruen
J
udy Meisel, an 88-year-old Holocaust survivor, is one of the last people alive who can help finger a former SS guard, still never indicted for his crimes, who tormented her during her internment in the Stuttof concentration camp, near what is now the city of Gdansk. Two German law enforcement agents recently traveled to Minneapolis to interview Mesiel to see if she could categorically identify him through photos taken more than 70 years ago. For four hours, Meisel described the cruelties of the camp guards, the horrors she witnessed and the conditions in which she survived. Born in a small Lithuanian shtetl called Josvane in 1929, Meisel’s life, already strained by poverty, turned into a nightmare when the Nazis jackbooted into town in 1941 and kicked the family out of their home. Meisel’s father had already died from a heart attack, but she, her mother, brother and sister were taken to the Kovno ghetto, where they languished for three years. Two months before the Soviets liberated the ghetto, Meisel’s brother was sent to Dachau. The women were sent to Stuttof.
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Judy Meisel is one of the last people alive who can help finger a former SS guard who tormented her at the Stuttof concentration camp. On November 21,1944, Judy and her mother, Mina Becker, were holding hands as they walked toward the gas chambers, awaiting their certain deaths. A drunken guard suddenly shouted at Judy at the entryway, startling her, and her mother shouted, “Run, Judith, run!” Half-starved, Judith escaped and returned to her sister Rachel in the barracks. The sisters miraculously survived, despite typhus and starvation, managing to escape from a death march, crawling across the frozen Vistula River to evade the Nazis, and finally taking shelter in a Catholic convent. The nuns
treated them well but expected them to convert to Catholicism. “I thought we were the only Jews still alive,” Meisel recalled of her time in the convent, “but I told my sister, ‘We cannot do this. We will not become Catholic and run away with the nuns.’ I wanted to be Jewish more than anything else to show Hitler that he didn’t kill all of us.” The sisters maintained their pretense of being Catholic while working at a German Wehrmacht station, and they were eventually liberated physically and emotionally in Denmark, where Judith arrived at age 16 weighing only 47 pounds,
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the imprisonment of a 91-year-old man. We welcome the opportunity to tell her story and the important lessons it imparts about the need to never remain silent in the face of bigotry, prejudice, hatred, and intolerance.” As a survivor, Judy Meisel raised her family with a strong Jewish identity and a passion for fighting on behalf of any people facing oppression. In the early 1960’s, when she saw news reports of a black family whose home was violently attacked for having moved into a white neighborhood, Meisel drove to their area with home-baked cookies and rang the doorbell. “Mrs. Baker, I am a Holocaust survivor,” she said. “What can I do for you?” Meisel helped organize the Philadelphia contingent that traveled to the March on Washington to hear Martin Luther King, Jr. deliver his famous “I Have a Dream” speech on Aug. 28, 1963. She also had dinner with him and Raymond Pace Alexander , the first black judge appointed to the Philadelphia Court of Common Pleas. Dr. King explained the laws of kashruth to the host on Judy’s behalf. While living in Santa Barbara, California for more than 40 years, Meisel regularly invited non-Jews to her home for Shabbat so they could understand what Jews do and how they practice their faith. “We need to learn to live with the goyim. That word means ‘nations’ and is not derogatory,” she said. After the war, she said that she never questioned why God had done this to her and to others. “I asked instead, ‘What can I do for you?’ He wants we should be a mensch and should appreciate each other. We know after we finish reading the Hagaddah that we were strangers in Egypt. I go with that motto.” Despite her unimaginably painful memories, Meisel has also spoken hundreds of times to audiences of college and high school students, as well as synagogues and churches about the Holocaust. But she did not focus exclusively or even primarily on the horrors of those days. “They need to hear what happened to me, but I also talk about the importance about being Jewish, about the Talmud, how it gives us resiliency. The most important day in my life is Shabbas. It has kept the Jews, and I don’t think I would be alive if not for Shabbas. We should be so proud of who we are as Jews. The most important thing is to know who we are.” Meisel returned to Lithuania as well as Stutthof and Denmark. These visits formed the basis of a riveting documentary titled “Tak for Alt,” “Thanks for Everything,” a reference to what the Danish people did for both Judy and her sister Rachel, nursing them back to health, absorbing them into their own families. During their time in Denmark, the sisters received the joyous news that their brother had also survived and was living in Toronto. At one point in the film, Meisel is seen holding her first grandson, Aaron, weeping with happiness.
Stutthof gas chamber almost deathly ill from typhus. During Meisel’s recent interview with the German investigators, she was shown a picture of the guard and asked, “Do you recognize this man?” Her son, Minneapolis attorney Michael R. Cohen, was with his mother during this interview and saw her face turn white. “Meydele! That is Meydele!” she exclaimed, using the Yiddish word for little girl. “My mother called him that name because of his girlish features. He was the one who watched us get undressed every morning.” Cohen was shocked when his mother continued to look at the photo and then say to her interviewers, “Look at how young he was. Let me ask you a question: What would you do if you were me?” “My mother’s capacity for forgiveness and fairness took over, even in the face of her worst nightmares,” Cohen wrote in an essay that appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer. If an indictment is issued, German law will allow Meisel to participate as a coplaintiff against him. As Cohen wrote about this case, “For my mother and our family, this is not a matter of revenge or of seeking
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