Flatbush Buzz #106 September 17 2017

Wishing all Buzz readers a Shana Tova Umesuka!

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Blown Away by Love: Atlanta Hosts Over 1000 Jewish Evacuees

by Ronda Robinson

A storm of giving and compassion is unleashed, creating unity and camaraderie in its wake.

8

the hurricane. “We’re overwhelmed by the kindness, friendliness and compassion of the Atlanta Jewish community. They go

the extra mile, putting welcome signs all over the shuls and in yards.”

Her husband, Rabbi Avi Parsons, added, “Everybody’s opened their doors and made you feel like you’re doing them a favor” to be able to provide hospitality.

Indeed, Rabbis Ilan Feldman and Dov Foxbrunner of Congregation Beth Jacob noted in the shul bulletin, “To the Atlanta host community: We have been presented with an opportunity to unleash the latent giving and compassionate

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nature that exists in every Jewish heart.

We know that, if roles were reversed, our guests would gladly be our hosts. We are immensely inspired by the outpouring of love and creativity in such a short span of time, and by the accomplishments that came from amazing teamwork. In addition, we thankfully acknowledge our partnership with Young Israel and others throughout the community, without which this would not have been possible.”

Jodi Wittenberg, one of the Congregation Beth Jacob/Young Israel of Toco Hills team of 14 “command central” volunteers who arranged housing and feeding logistics in a mere 48 hours, credited the Orthodox Union for providing money to sponsor meals.

“None of this would have happened as smoothly as it did had we not had their financial and emotional support.”

She said the impetus for reach out started when community rabbis Rabbi Adam Starr of Young Israel and Ilan Feldman of Congregation Beth Jacob made an emergency trip to Houston to help pull out drywall and remove holy books after Hurricane Harvey wreaked havoc there. They saw the devastation and came home knowing they had to do something to help Floridians in the path of Hurricane Irma.

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM AISH.COM

I

n Atlanta synagogues all over town welcomed more than 1,000 Jews who fled Florida and coastal Georgia ahead of Hurricane Irma, which forecasters called one of the strongest storms ever recorded in the Atlantic Ocean.

The evacuees included everyone from pregnant young women to old men in wheelchairs. (Word quickly spread that one of the women had given birth to a baby boy after arriving in Atlanta.) They reflected the many faces of Jews from all backgrounds, from girls in blue jeans to guys in black hats.

Many invoked one word throughout the Shabbat of Hurricane Irma: Unity.

Family hosts and guests became friends and played Jewish geography, discovering amazing coincidences of connection. For instance, the son of an Atlanta host had been roommates with the son-in-law of her Florida guest.

Community members not only provided shelter from the storm, but also fed guests thousands of meals, from bagels to baked ziti and chicken to cholent.

“It feels like family,” declared Ilana Parsons of North Miami Beach at a kumzitz, a Saturday evening gathering with lively music and dancing at Young Israel of Toco Hills, She, her husband, son, mother and niece drove 650 miles to Atlanta to escape

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Right after they returned home they began a relief effort. A team of volunteers in the Atlanta Orthodox community mobilized “command central” working their laptops and smartphones. They put out the word on social media that Atlanta was eager to house Hurricane Irma evacuees. Eager guests filled out questionnaires about their dietary preferences and any special needs.

Then the volunteers matched guests to appropriate hosts.

Rabbi Starr called it making shidduchim, the Hebrew word for matches. He noted Atlanta is the largest nearby Orthodox community to Florida that wasn’t directly in the path of the hurricane. It would be a tremendous kindness to assist people in getting out of harm’s way.

The prospect of a safe place to land helped convince several Floridians to evacuate ahead of the storm. “I was going to stay,” admitted Gershon Schwadron, a caterer from Boca Raton and former banquet chef at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem. “But one of my friends said he was going to get out. Atlanta opened up the community and we drove up together.”

10

The highlight of his Shabbat in Atlanta? “Not being in a hurricane.”

All of Atlanta was looking for a way to help. Other Atlanta Jewish institutions pitched in to help Irma evacuees, as synagogues and community members opened their doors to evacuees.

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A sense of love and camaraderie prevailed all weekend. “This is our Woodstock,” said Rabbi Israel Robinson of Atlanta, as a Jewish band played spiritedly in the background at the kumzitz.

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Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

The Shmuz on the Parsha

A Diamond with a Flaw Rosh Hashana

“You shall place both stones on the shoulder straps of the ephod, remembrance stones for the Children of Israel.” Shemos 28:12

M

oshe was commanded to make garments for the Kohanim Moshe was commanded to make garments for the Kohanim.

Included in these was the ephod, a piece of clothing similar to an apron, with two shoulder straps on top holding the avnei shoham, gold settings that contained precious stones. HASHEM told Moshe to engrave the names of the twelve shvatim (tribes) onto these stones as a remembrance. Rashi explains that this was so that the memory of Reuvain, Shimon, Levi, etc. would be invoked when the Kohain Gadol did the avodah, and HASHEM would then remember their righteousness.

The shvatim sinned

This Rashi seems to be difficult to understand. The avodah (service) of the Kohain Gadol is vital and highly sensitive; the world’s very existence depends upon it. As a result, there are many items that are avoided in the avodah so as not to bring up even the faintest memories of sin. While there is no question that the shvatim were men of extraordinary greatness, that greatness was also tainted with the sin of selling their brother. Didn’t that sin permanently affect who they

18

were? Shouldn’t that be reason enough not to mention their names in such a critical situation?

Every diamond has a flaw

The answer to this is based on an issue of perspective.

Imagine that there are two large diamonds in front of you, one a beautifully cut jewel with a minor flaw, and the other the same as the first, but flawless – a perfect diamond. If we were to ask a diamond expert to appraise the two, there is no doubt that he would tell us that the difference between them is huge.

He would say that the diamond with the minor flaw is worth a fortune while the completely flawless diamond is almost worthless — because it is a fake. One of the signs that a diamond is real is that it has a flaw. While it may be a very minor imperfection and almost unnoticeable, all genuine diamonds have flaws. The only perfect diamonds are made of cubic zirconium, and are costume jewelry.

HASHEM created the human, knowing he would sin

When HASHEM formed man, it was not for him to be perfect. Perfection rests in the realm of the Molochim (angels).

A moloch will spend its entire existence without sin. Molochim are perfect. But molochim aren’t man. Man and man alone was given the unique opportunity in all of Creation: to determine his destiny, either becoming the greatest of all, or sinking below the animals.

To allow man to create who he would be for eternity, HASHEM gave him free will. However, free will doesn’t mean the theoretical ability to choose; it means being put into situations where either choice is viable and either option is real.

Man has to be challenged. To allow for that, man has to be tempted to choose either good or bad and be given the ability to make mistakes. Every man has, and every man will make mistakes. Some are large, and some are small, but the idea of man living without sin isn’t part of the picture.

The shvatim were like flawed diamonds

The answer to the question on Rashi seems to be that the shvatim were in fact men of unimaginable greatness, but they also had flaws and sinned. Each would be compared to a 200-carat diamond – with an imperfection. They were huge, beautiful diamonds, with flaws.

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see the flaw. To perceive it, you need to look through a jeweler’s loop that magnifies the stone by a power of ten times or more. Only via direct scrutiny does the flaw become noticeable. It is always present, but the eye doesn’t see it. All the eye sees is glimmer and reflected light in an object of extreme beauty.

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“For eternity, I will be exactly what I made myself into. So what kind of Olam Habbah am I going to have? Forever I will walk around with my faults permanently part of me. How will I ever enjoy eternity when I am sullied – permanently stained?”

I will be like a diamond with a flaw This Chazal tells us that our imperfections are what they are, and unless we remove them with the process of teshuvah, they will be on our permanent record. However, all that means is that I will have flaws, like a diamond. Maybe I’ll be a two-carat diamond, maybe a four-carat – but a precious gem nonetheless. While the blemishes will be there, so too will the shining brilliance of a jewel.

One doesn’t cancel out the other. The flaw isn’t eliminated, nor is the brilliance eradicated. Both are there. I will be a diamond with a flaw.

My work now, as long as I have time left, is to improve the quality of the diamond and to eliminate its faults. By learning Torah, doing mitzvahs, and working on my middos, I change the weight, color, and clarity of the stone. Who I will be for eternity is in my hands. If I focus my attention and energies on growth, my reward will be perfection more valuable than the finest diamonds ever mined.

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Enjoy Responsibly.

6 Mindful Eating Tips for Your Body and Soul

by Eman Esmailzadeh

For starters, eat only when you’re hungry.

T

he average person spends at least one hour a day eating. So by the age of 30, you’ve spent the equivalent of two years just putting food in your mouth. How can we make this a more pleasurable, productive and meaningful experience?

Traditional Jewish thought has much to say about what we eat, how we eat, when we eat, and even why we eat, and much of it is and much of it is also recommended by modern scientists.

1. Eat hungry.

When was the last time you pulled over at a gas station to fill up your tank that was already full? Probably never. But when was the last time you ate something when you weren’t hungry?

Checking your hunger gauge before popping in that random bite will allow you to keep your weight in check as well as build your self-control. Going to your second event of the evening, already fed, and still have an urge to pop down some more food? Like the modern day nutritionists, King Solomon also advises against the unnecessary consumption of

24

food, saying “The righteous eat to satisfy their souls” (Proverbs 13:25).

2. Sit down.

Late to work? Running after the kids?

Doing errands? No problem – it’s just not the best time to be chomping down your meal. Although it may save time, it’s a bad idea. The Rambam, in his magnum opus Mishneh Torah , says that one should never stand or walk while eating.

Modern day scientific research also claims that this kind of eating is fattening and unhealthy. In fact, there is even a diet based on this understanding, called The Sit-Down Diet, which suggests that we consume fewer calories when we eat sitting down versus while standing up or walking. We are also more likely to digest food better when we sit down and chew our food properly.

3. Acknowledge.

You’re hungry and sitting down to your meal, now recognize where the food comes from. Taking three seconds to acknowledge basic details of the culinary dish placed before you can set the tone for

rest of the meal. Something as simple as verbally acknowledging the work of the cook, especially if it is a parent or spouse, can have a profound effect on your mood.

Paying attention to all of the individual ingredients can make the experience even more tasty.

In Judaism, every time food is consumed, one should recite a blessing of recognition prior to taking the first bite. A common misconception is that the blessing or bracha that is said before eating is a form of thanksgiving. This is not accurate; while the after-blessing of Birkat Hamazon mentions the act of thanksgiving, the initial blessing makes no mention of thanks. It is a statement acknowledging that Hashem is the Creator of the food and we are essentially seeking permission to take His food.

4. Remove Distractions

One cannot fully enjoy a meal while answering emails or scrolling through a Facebook feed. Enjoying food is so important in Judaism that it incorporates the pleasure of eating in every one of its holidays. But we rob ourselves of this enjoyment every time we mindlessly eat.

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Don’t care about enjoyment? Distracted eating causes your digestion to be less effective in breaking down your food, leading to less flavor and increasing the possibility of bloating, gas and constipation.

Trying to lose weight? Research shows that the more you distract yourself during a meal, the more pounds you add.

Doing simple acts of mindfulness, such as paying attention to the smell, taste, appearance and texture of the food, can keep the focus on your meal.

5. Chew, Swallow, Wait… Repeat.

Ever mindlessly wolf down a meal in one minute? Scarfing down an entire meal can leave you feeling disheartened but it can also leave you with unwanted extra fat on your hips.

Taking your body off of auto-pilot mode while eating has great spiritual benefits as well. In describing ways of going against animalistic eating habits, the great 19th century Iraqi sage Rabbi Yosef Hayim in his famous book, Ben Ish Hai , gives a recommendation that is sure to slow your scarf. He writes that one should not reach for the next bite until the previous bite has been completely swallowed.

Speaking from experience this one tip is much easier said than done. However, once mastered, this eating habit is one that is sure to leaving you feeling in control and elevated.

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6. Appreciate.

Now that you’re satiated and your spirit is recharged, it’s time for some real thanksgiving (without the turkey). Saying thanks is much harder when you have somewhere else you want to go. Maybe that’s why the only biblically ordained blessing is the Grace After Meals and not before the meal.

Being appreciative is a core Jewish value. In fact, Jews are called Yehudim from the word L’hodot, or to thank. Gratitude permeates the entire Jewish experience, from the first words that are uttered by our lips when we wake up in the morning, to mentioning our thanks three times a day in our prayers.

Surprisingly, recently discovered side benefits of being filled with gratitude include improved health, increased selfesteem and even better sleep. Taking the extra minutes to appreciate our privileged satiated stomachs should now seem much easier.

Although not practical for every meal, striving towards these goals should help us lead more meaningful, in-control and healthy lives.

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eventeen years ago. Day in and day out, a steady stream of needy individuals found their way to the Maranan Gedolei Hador, shlit”a seeking a solution to the grinding poverty that was their bitter lot.

Yidden came and poured their hearts out, seeking solace for their pain and guidance for how to improve their lot.

On the one hand, Torah institutions in Eretz Hakodesh were flourishing, but at the same time ordinary individual yidden were finding it increasingly difficult to put bread on the table to feed their growing families.

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Seventeen years ago, Kupat Ha’ir was just a dream. Its only backing was the long, ongoing wail of poverty-stricken yidden.

A logo was created depicting a small, modest pushka with the name “Kupat Ha’ir” emblazoned on top. Brochures were printed and all of Klal Yisroel were called upon to contribute.

Am Yisroel immediately recognized that this was not just another solicitation, not just another fund. This fund represented the long arm of Maran Hagaon Harav Chaim Kanievsky, shlit”a. It was as if the Gadol himself were knocking at your door, asking you personally to assist in helping the poor of Klal Yisroel. Who would not run to answer that knock?

And so, seventeen years ago, Kupat

hearts and wallets to support the work of Kupat Ha’ir. In doing so, you are partnering with an organization that does not discriminate. Kupat Ha’ir is committed to helping every yid, so long as he is legitimately needy.

Seventeen years. Hundreds of thousands in tzedakah to many of the poor of Eretz Yisroel. Hundreds of chassanim and kallos from every type of background.

Every sort of lack and deprivation imaginable, from mild to severe medical problems, complex family issues, dental treatments for a specific blind woman, a baby flown abroad for emergency surgery to the envelopes quietly and discreetly distributed to those unable to buy bread for their children.

Kupat Ha’ir is entering its eighteenth year of ‘round-the-clock activism that keeps on expanding in every direction.

The requests for assistance keep

Maran Hagaon Harav Chaim Kanievsky shlit"a: "Whoever contributes to Kupat Ha'ir merits witnessing open miracles."

American Ha’irHa’ir | 4415 Avenue Brooklyn, incumbent uponFriends them to of goKupat collecting began 14th “knocking on doors” and door to door and personally solicit money has been doing so ever since. Month to assist those in need? Perhaps that after month, year after year, Kupat Ha’ir would generate funds and alleviate some collects and distributes over one hundred of the suffering? Maybe they should take million shekels to thousands of needy an example from the Tannaim of earlier individiuals. generations who were known to do Like the Tannaim of yesteryear, Kupat exactly that?

Ha’ir has, at times, suffered humiliation, Without a doubt, were our gedolim degradation, mockery and ridicule. But to go knocking on doors for assistance for that does not stop us from doing our hoy the needy, they would meet with success, work. but how many homes could they actual It is this “knock on the door” that visit? How many poor people would they “Kupat Ha’ir’s Seventeenth Anniversary” actually be able to help? There were tens of would like to recognize. thousands of yidden in need – they needed For the past seventeen years Klal a quicker, more effective way of soliciting Yisroel has generously opened their 28

NY 11219 | info@kupat.org coming requiring more funds to keep pace.

The areas in which Kupat Ha’ir provides expand continuously, but can only be maintained if the funds are in place.

Your contribution of eighteen dollars (or more) makes its way to all sorts of tragic and needy situations. Sometimes its talmidei chachamim in need of assistance, sometimes its sick people or needy brides.

Often its orphans floundering at the sudden loss of their breadwinner, geirim, baalei teshuvah, childless couples, elderly people, children… every segment of the population is represented and helped.

Kupat Ha’ir has four main departments: The First Department

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The advice of the Gedolei Hador, written by The fourth department “Monthly Stipends” comprises the preoccupied with. Some families manage Maran Chaim squeak by allHarav year round but lack Kanievsky: the the establishment of funds bulk of Kupat Ha’ir’s activities. More than toHagaon six million shekels a month are distributed to poor families, translating into some seventy-four million shekels annually.

Seventy-four million shekels a year?!

Yes indeed. Seventy-four million shekels a year. This astronomical sum helps thousands of families on the verge of collapse get back on their feet again.

Families who are lacking basic necessities and would be out on the street begging for bread were it not for the steady monthly sum they receive from Kupat Ha’ir. Every case is verified by the rabbanim of the community who maintain and take full responsibility for them.

The Second Department “Yom Tov Stipends” is the second matter with which Kupat Ha’ir is

means to bring in Yom Tov in a decent fashion. Kupat Ha’ir spends up to 21 million shekels a year in order to help ten thousand Yidden before every Yom Tov. The Third Department “Hachnosos Kallah” The third area in which Kupat Ha’ir is active involves the establishment of funds for orphaned brides and grooms. Last year, Kupat Ha’ir married off more than three hundred orphaned brides and grooms in a discreet and respectable manner. Over seven million shekels of donated funds helped‫קופ‬establish these new beautiful Batei ‫ הע ת‬B’Yisroel bring happiness and Ne’eman ‫יר‬ joy to those that already suffered so much.

deals with for unusual and exceptionally tragic cases. Examples include large families whose breadwinner suddenly passes away, a child with very serious medical needs, a terrible disease requiring emergency surgery and many other such unfortunate situations .

Eighteen years.

Now is the time to make a chesbon hanefesh, to ask yourself: Is my family sufficiently involved in this mitzvah?

As a community, are we doing enough to partner with the fund established by the Gedolei Hador, the fund that distributes more than a hundred million shekels a year to the poor of Eretz Yisroel?

The Fourth Department

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A Simple Gourmet Rosh Hashanah

by Elizabeth Kurtz Combining savory and sweet flavors to create out-of-this-world dishes.

It’s that time again. Time for personal reflection, improvement, praying and lots of cooking. I’m starting to fill my freezer with delicious soups, roasts, and cakes and hope to inspire you to try a few new dishes. I like pairing savory flavors with the sweet flavors of Rosh Hashanah, carrot and apple with maple, sweet creamy dressing with roasted beets and crunchy jicama, savory brisket with braised onions, and apple cake with cinnamon and caramel. Bon Appetit and Chag Sameach.

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Carrot Ginger Soup with Creamy Apple Chutney Serves 7 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and chopped 1 large onion, diced 5 cups peeled, chopped carrots (about 2 ¼ lbs.)

3 stalks celery, chopped 1 - 2 tablespoons fresh ginger, peeled and chopped ¾ teaspoon dried thyme 1 ½ teaspoons kosher salt ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 6 cups vegetable or chicken broth 3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar 2 tablespoons pure maple syrup Optional garnish: crushed red pepper to taste

35

Creamy Apple Maple Chutney 3 tablespoons unsalted margarine 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and chopped ½ teaspoon fresh ginger, peeled and chopped ½ cup Tofutti sour cream or Greek yogurt ¼ cup pure maple syrup In a large soup pot or Dutch oven, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add apples, onion, carrots, celery, ginger, thyme, salt and pepper. Cover and cook,

36

stirring often, for 15 - 17 minutes, until apples have broken down and vegetables are starting to brown.

Add broth, increase heat to high, and bring to a boil Reduce heat to medium-low to maintain a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, for 15 - 20 minutes, until vegetables are soft. Puree mixture with an immersion blender, or transfer in batches to a blender and puree. Stir in vinegar and syrup.

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For the chutney: In a large skillet, heat margarine over medium heat. When melted add apples and ginger and cook until softened, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat. Add Tofutti sour cream and maple syrup.

To serve: Ladle warm soup into bowls.

Spoon in a dollop of chutney into center of each bowl. Sprinkle with crushed red pepper, if desired.

Spinach Salad with Sweet Poppy-Seed Dressing Makes 3 cups, enough for 3 large salads Salad:

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 2 cups canola oil 3 tablespoons poppyseeds

6 cups baby spinach 2 cups baby arugula 1 cup sliced jicama 2 beets, roasted* 2 persimmon (if seasonal), chopped ½ cup toasted nuts ¼ cup thinly sliced red onion ½ cup Baco’s, chopped pastrami, or imitation bacon, cooked and chopped, optional Or for dairy version, add feta cheese

For the salad: In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients together.

Dressing:

Make Ahead

1 egg (use pasteurized egg or boil for 30 seconds) 2/3 cup red wine vinegar 1/4 cup sugar 3 tablespoons grated yellow onion, plus juice from the grating 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

For the dressing: Combine egg, vinegar, sugar, grated onion and juice, Dijon, and salt in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Process 1 minute. With motor running, add oil in a slow, steady stream. Transfer mixture to a bowl with a lid, and stir in poppy seeds. Refrigerate, covered, until ready to use.

To serve: Pour approximately ¾ cup prepared dressing over salad. Toss and serve immediately.

Can be prepared 2 weeks ahead of time and stored, covered, in the refrigerator. Bring to room temperature and shake well before using.

37

Pomegranate Braised Brisket with Three Onion Jam Serves 8-10 1 (5 - 6 pound) brisket 6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided 6 garlic cloves, minced 1 ½ teaspoons onion powder 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 1 teaspoon paprika 1 ½ teaspoons kosher salt ½ teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 3 fresh thyme sprigs or 2 teaspoons dried thyme 2 fresh rosemary sprigs 2 tablespoons tomato paste ½ cup pomegranate juice ½ cup red wine

¾ cup pomegranate juice ¾ cup dry red wine or Marsala wine 1 sprig rosemary 1 teaspoon kosher salt ¼ teaspoon black pepper ½ cup pomegranate seeds For the brisket: Place the brisket in a large roasting pan. In a small bowl, mix 3 tablespoons of the oil, garlic, onion powder, Dijon mustard, paprika, kosher salt and pepper until it forms a paste.

Rub paste all over meat on both sides.

Let meat rest with spices for a minimum of 30 minutes and up to overnight (two hours is great if possible).

Preheat oven to 325°F.

Three Onion Jam 3 tablespoons olive oil 2 yellow onions, sliced 2 red onions, sliced 2 leeks, sliced 3 tablespoons brown sugar

38

In a large skillet over medium-high, heat remaining oil until shimmering. Brown meat on both sides, about 4 minutes per side. (This adds a crust and a sear, which is flavorful, but this step can be omitted).

Place meat back in roasting pan. Put

rosemary and thyme around meat. In the small bowl, whisk pomegranate juice, wine, and tomato paste. Pour over meat.

Cover with heavy-duty aluminum foil.

Place covered meat in the oven and cook for 2 ½ - 3 ½ hours (insert a meat thermometer to read doneness. Rare is 134°F, Medium 145°F, and over 160°F is very tough and overcooked, I suggest pulling it for pulled beef) For the onion jam: In a large skillet, heat oil. Add onions and leeks and cook until softened, about 15 minutes. Add brown sugar, pomegranate juice, wine, rosemary, salt and pepper and cook uncovered, until it comes to a gentle boil. Reduce heat and cook until liquid evaporates and onions are coated and thick with glaze.

Stir in pomegranate seeds.

To serve: Slice brisket across the grain.

Place sliced brisket with juices on serving platter. Top with three-onion jam.

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Torte 1 cup raw almonds 1 cup all purpose flour ½ cup white whole wheat flour (or use regular all purpose) 1 teaspoon baking soda ½ teaspoon salt 2 eggs 1 cup pure maple syrup 8 tablespoons unsalted margarine, melted and cooled 2 large baking apples, like Granny Smith, peeled and diced

In a food processor, process nuts for 20 – 30 seconds, until finely ground. Add flours, baking soda, and salt and pulse to combine.

In a large bowl, beat eggs and syrup until smooth. Gradually beat in margarine. Stir in almond mixture followed by apples.

Transfer to prepared pan and bake for 44 minutes, until torte springs back when lightly touched and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with moist crumbs. Cool.

Make glaze: In small bowl, stir confectioners’ sugar, maple syrup, vinegar and cinnamon.

Glaze

To serve: Run a knife along edge of pan. Remove sides and spread glaze over torte.

Reprinted w/Permission www.aish.com

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM AISH.COM

1 cup confectioners’ sugar, sifted 3 tablespoons pure maple syrup or honey 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

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a m r I e n a c HurriL n i g n i v i and one of the Crtainty Unce

by Rabbi Efrem Goldberg

Praying our hearts out in South Florida.

52

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I

f you live in South Florida, when you hear the word cone this time of year, you don’t think of ice cream, but hurricane highway.

When a new storm develops and begins heading towards making landfall, the experts offer their best projections of where it is going and when it will get there. The “cone of uncertainty” is formed, and with each periodic update the communities and people in its path desperately look to see if they are still projected to sustain a hit. As long as one remains in the cone of uncertainty, there is an unavoidable angst and the tortuous process of waiting and anticipating what is to come.

Just a week after Harvey devastated Houston, Irma threatens our Boca Raton and South Florida communities.

Larger than the country of France, this massive and powerful storm has elicited and inspired a sense of urgency and a tremendous response. Gas lines are endless, many stores have sold out of supplies, and people are panicking and legitimately afraid. A sizeable segment of our community has left.

Some flew, others took the Auto Train, and many have just gotten in the car and driven north. The Jewish community of Atlanta, led by Rabbi Adam Starr and Rabbi Ilan Feldman, has been absolutely incredible and has taken in several hundred families.

They mobilized rapidly and extended themselves to us generously and we couldn’t be more grateful to them.

Shortly after creation, Hashem told Adam to multiply and to conquer His world. Indeed, He has given us the keys to understanding His universe and with each scientific, medical or technological breakthrough, we come closer to conquering it. But there are three keys that Hashem kept on His key ring and refused to share with us: the Key of Rain, the Key of Childbirth, and the Key of the Revival of the Dead (Talmud, Ta’anis 2a). In truth, the three exceptions are really one. Hashem has held onto the ability to provide, sustain and resurrect life.

With all that we can master, manipulate and control, the weather remains an enigma and a mystery. We identify that a catastrophic storm has formed, but not only do we lack the

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capacity to dissolve, disrupt or redirect it, we cannot even predict where it will go with any true sense of accuracy or precision.

There is a whole lot we can and should do to prepare for the storm – buy batteries, water, flashlights, take in outdoor furniture, put up shutters – but we are powerless from directly influencing the storm. The key to the strength and trajectory of hurricane Irma belongs exclusively to the Almighty and nobody else.

When it comes to other crises or emergencies, there is effort and initiative we can take to solve and resolve the challenge. The effort and impact we make fool us into thinking that the doctor alone healed the patient or the shadchan deserves the full credit for making the match. With a hurricane, because the only initiative anyone can take is to protect themselves, not to direct the storm, it should be easier to recognize the importance and need to turn to the Key Master and beseech Him to send the storm elsewhere, in a way nobody is threatened or hurt.

On all the checklists and preparation charts provided by agencies and organizations, prayer never appears.

Nevertheless, it should be at the top of our list, not in place of other preparations but certainly in addition to them. I urge everyone to do what should come naturally at this critical time – ask Hashem from the bottom of our hearts to turn the storm out to the ocean and spare us, our community, and all humanity.

Tehillim 27 that we recite in the morning and evening from the beginning of Elul until Simchat Torah ends with the sentence “put your hope in Hashem, strengthen yourself and get the courage to put your hope and faith in Hashem.”

Why the redundancy? If we have placed our hope in Hashem, why does the verse call on us to do it a second time?

Our sages (Berachos 32b) explain: “If a person sees that they prayed but they were not answered, let them return and

pray again.”

Rav Asher Weiss explains that we learn from this verse that when our prayer doesn’t immediately yield the results we want, it doesn’t mean we received a no; it means we need to go back and pray again, with more fervor and greater concentration. One must never give up on prayer, never concede that it wasn’t answered, or stop believing that there is someone worth praying to.

Rav Asher Weiss writes: “Prayer and faith depend on each other. Prayer is the highest expression of faith and faith obligates prayer, for if in fact a person believes that there is nothing in the world but Hashem, and that He is all powerful and all knowing, that person will put his faith in Him and will feel compelled to pray to Him with all his heart.”

As we in South Florida prepare for Hurricane Irma, it occurs to me that in truth, we aren’t the only ones in a cone of uncertainty. True, if you don’t live on the East Coast or in the gulf area, you can be confident you won’t be hit by this hurricane. But who knows what could hit you personally or collectively with little warning or projection. We all live in a cone of uncertainty at all times and should channel our sense of vulnerability and mortality into turning towards Hashem, the only certain in this world.

While Irma is unwanted and should go elsewhere, the renewed intensity of prayer that she is inspiring is most welcome, especially this time of year as we gear up for sitting before the Almighty in judgment.

We put our hope in Hashem and then we check the next advisory and when we see ourselves still sitting in Irma’s path, we strengthen ourselves and find the courage to once again, put our faith and hope in Hashem.

We pray that in the merit of our turning towards Hashem at this urgent time, the next advisory will show Irma turning away from us.

Reprinted w/Permission www.aish.com

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4YourWaysChildto Help be More Successful This Year

by Slovie Jungreis-Wolff

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t’s back to school time. Regardless of your child’s age, there are steps you can take to help your child thrive and flourish more this year. The key is focusing daily on these habits.

Our children recognize our priorities when we don’t drop the ball despite the pressures and stress of family life.

1. Daily responsibility Putting homework and books into knapsacks nightly, clearing away your plate and fork from the dinner table, placing laundry in the hamper are all examples of daily tasks that teach children to be self-responsible. When you realize that the mess you make is yours to clean and that there is no one who is going to be accountable for your tasks but you, maturity is gained.

Parents often give lectures about being responsible but the real way of transmitting this essential character trait is through making sure that our children live what we preach.

Successful children understand that they can be self-reliant and independent.

They don’t whine about their tasks. We don’t fall apart as easily if we recognize that life is about accountability and responsibility.

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2. Good relationship skills Children who are socially happy in school and know how to settle conflicts with peers will be more successful

Focusing on these daily habits will help your child flourish. students. If you see that your child is getting bogged down in arguments with siblings or friends, make a mental note of

what is happening. Is your child overly sensitive? Is she easily explosive? Does he always have to get his way? Does your child know how to give space to othersboth physical and emotional? Is shyness or lack of self-confidence preventing socialization?

Social skills are not automatic. As children grow we may notice that they are being excluded. Some children are socially awkward. Others don’t know how to read social cues properly. And there are those whose parents hovered when they were little so that they are now inept in grade school, high school, even college.

A 20-year study at Penn State and Duke found that kids with good social skills became more successful as years passed; it behooves us to help guide our children.

Pay attention to the way your child deals with peers and family members.

Instead of jumping in, allow your child to find resolution. If you must, speak privately to your child about the right way to apologize and forgive. (Some adults may need to brush up on these skills before teaching their children.)

Open your child’s eyes to feeling empathy, giving a helping hand to someone in need, and being sensitive to other’s challenges.

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Too many of our children sit in front of their screens completely oblivious to the people around them. Facial expressions, eye contact, body language is completely ignored or misread. They do better with emoji’s than living breathing human beings. Texting all types of emotions is easy but saying “I’m sorry,” “I’m so happy to see you,” or “I’m excited” feels clumsy.

The power of a kind word, reassuring gesture, and sympathetic eye cannot be minimized. Our children are losing this vital human connection through which relationships are built and endure.

Teach your child to put down his phone, especially at dinner time. Be sure to lead by example. Sit down and communicate together. Share a funny story or something that happened to you during the day.

3. Good study habits Children require calm and adequate time to study. Pushing off studying until

the last possible minute is a bad habit.

Checking texts or Instagram while doing homework ensures a distracted mind.

A loud noisy environment does not encourage concentration. If you know that your child is a procrastinator, or that assignments are consistently missed as the year passes, set a goal to tackle the issue this year. Ask your child before the problems begin: what can we do to make this year better? Involve your child in the solution. Good study habits bring children to feel more secure and selfassured as they face their school day.

Parents should be careful not to put down their children’s teachers and authority figures. We must model the behavior we expect. When we speak respectfully of teachers and school rules, children understand that their behavior towards school and authority matters.

We will not look away at rudeness, ignoring of tests and projects due.

4. Value effort over grades We have come to fear failure. Many parents would rather stay up the entire night and complete the science fair project than see their child grapple with a poor grade. Take a step back and recognize that even when not doing well there is opportunity for growth. There is no life that will not be touched by disappointment. Each person will find themselves in a situation where he has fallen and must pick himself up and try again. If never allowed the experience, how will our children know the power of their efforts?

Resilience cannot be taught, it must be lived. Give your child space to grow.

Pushing the idea that grades matter more than effort strips children of discovering their inner power to accomplish greatness.

This year pave the road toward success by focusing daily on these four habits.

Reprinted w/Permission www.aish.com

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