Flatbush Buzz #157 June 2nd 2019

Flatbush/Marine Park

Brooklyn’s only Door to Door Magazine - Flatbush - Marine Park - Boro Park -

Bringing you the Buzz! on Savings & Events

Volume 7, Issue 157 June 2nd 2019

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The Shmuz on the Parsha

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

Shavuos A craving to see Hashem

“And HASHEM said to Moshe, “Descend, warn the people, lest they break through to HASHEM to see, and a multitude of them will fall.’” – Shemos 19:21

The moment in history

The entire nation – every man, woman and child – was gathered at the foot of Har Sinai for what was to be the greatest revelation in the annals of history. HASHEM’s voice was about to be heard.

In addition to the transmission of the Torah, the event would forever carve into human awareness the understanding that HASHEM is the Creator. Never before or since has a generation reached that level of understanding. Chazal say that the heavens and earth were opened to the Jewish people, and everyone there reached the level of prophecy.

However, there were limitations; the people could only go so far. There is only so much that a human can withstand and not go into sensory overload. Therefore, HASHEM told Moshe, “Warn them that whoever will touch the mountain will die.” Moshe was to ascend alone. The rest of the nation had to remain below.

Yet directly before the receiving of the Torah, HASHEM told Moshe to go down and warn the people a second time not to go up the mountain. Rashi explains why HASHEM repeated the warning: “Because of their deep desire to see HASHEM, they might ascend the mountain.” Even though they were warned previously, and even though they knew that going up would spell their death, they might still go up because of a powerful craving to be close to HASHEM.

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They were already warned

This Rashi seems difficult to understand.

If HASHEM told them not go up, and it was explained that the penalty for doing so would be death, wouldn’t that be enough to stop them from violating HASHEM’s command?

What makes this question particularly troubling is that this generation understood the gravity of their actions. They lived through the makkos and then kriyas Yam Suf. They saw the glory and power of HASHEM. At that moment, they were privy to a level of understanding that few humans have ever achieved, which means that they not only understood that HASHEM didn’t want them going up to the actual mountain, they also understood that if they did, they would surely die.

Breaking into Fort Knox

As a parallel, imagine we were to meet a man with an extraordinary desire for money.

Nothing stops him. He’ll steal, cheat, lie, swindle — anything to make his fortune. But even he won’t be tempted to break into Fort Knox. The armed guards standing there with their machine guns poised are so threatening, and the danger is so real, that despite his great desire for money, the certainty of his death would prevent him from even thinking of breaking in.

So too, the generation at Sinai fully understood the consequences of moving forward. How would it be possible that they would still be tempted to go up the mountain?

Human comprised of distinct parts The answer to this question seems to be

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based on a fundamental understanding of man.

To make man, HASHEM took opposites entities and molded them into one. Within me is a part with deep-set needs to do that which is noble and proper — and within me is a part that just doesn’t care. The part of me that only wants that which is good is made up of pure intelligence — sechel. The part of me that doesn’t care about anything other than my own needs is made up of base instincts and desires — the Nefesh Ha’Bahami.

My sechel clearly recognizes HASHEM as the source of everything and only wishes to be close to my Creator. It actually hungers to be close to HASHEM and pulls me that way. My Nefesh Ha’Bahami can’t recognize or understand anything other than drives and desires, hungers and appetites. It can’t see HASHEM, nor does it care to.

The reason that I have such conflicting desires, interests, goals, and passions is that these two parts of me, these complete opposites, are each battling for primacy over me. So I deeply crave being close to HASHEM and I also just don’t care. Same me, just different elements coming to the surface.

Taivah to be close to HASHEM The Mesillos Yesharim explains that by nature, I would be pulled towards HASHEM like a piece of iron is to a magnet. It is the layers and layers of physicality that block the pull. He writes that my sole focus in life should be to break through those layers of physicality until I am again drawn after HASHEM like iron to a magnet.

The role of mitzvos

The reason that we find serving

HASHEM difficult, and the reason we find experiencing HASHEM’s presence elusive, is because of the layers and layers of desires, instincts, and passions that cover up and block our nishoma’s receptivity. It’s almost like putting a fine radio receiver into a concrete bomb shelter.

The radio waves are in the air, but the tons of concrete will block them.

The way that a person increases his spiritual receptivity is by keeping and learning the Torah, the ultimate system of self-perfection.

All of the mitzvos strengthen my nishoma and help to break the hold the Nefesh Ha’Bahami has over me. The more a person is involved in learning Torah and doing mitzvos, the stronger the nishoma becomes, and the easier it is for him to experience HASHEM. The Klal Yisroel had a taivah to be close to HASHEM The answer to the question on Rashi seems to be that when the Jewish people were standing at the base of Har Sinai, they reached unprecedented levels of spirituality. Their outside casing had very little influence on them. Their pure nishomas came to the fore. In that state, man is irresistibly drawn to his Creator — pulled, mesmerized.

Consequences don’t matter; results are irrelevant. The human needs to be close to HASHEM. HASHEM was warning Moshe of the inherent danger. Since they were going to see HASHEM so clearly, they would also feel an almost unstoppable urge for closeness to Him. That pull could be so strong that some individuals might go beyond the limit. Even though they were aware of the risk to their lives, it wouldn’t stop them because of their insatiable desire to be close to HASHEM. And so, HASHEM told Moshe, “Warn them again.”

ruchniyus, the physical part of us will become stronger, making it ever more difficult to experience HASHEM’s presence.

However, we are also pure sechel. There is a part of each of us that deeply craves speaking to our Creator. There is a component in us that hungers for spiritual growth. By learning Torah and doing mitzvos with fervor and energy, I bring that part to the fore until it becomes stronger, and my physical side becomes weaker. That is how I grow.

But not only do I grow, I grow in my desire to be more spiritual, to learn more, to daven with more kavanah. It begins an upward spiral.

By putting this process into practice, a person can continue to grow throughout life, reaching higher levels and thereby fulfilling the reason he was put on this planet — to perfect himself and to enjoy that level of perfection for eternity.

For more on this topic please listen to Shmuz #74 - D’Vaikus in Our Times Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz.com – The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues.

All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at www.theShmuz. com or on the Shmuz App for iphone or Android. Simply text the word “TheShmuz” to the number 313131 and a link will be sent to your phone to download the App.

In our world – learning to experience HASHEM

There is a very real lesson for us in this. From time to time, we may find it difficult to daven properly, or it may be hard to feel the spirituality of Shabbos. These difficulties are the natural consequence of our physical side. If we aren’t constantly learning and growing in

Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz.com – The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues.

All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at www. theShmuz.com or on the Shmuz App for iphone or Android.

Simply text the word “TheShmuz” to the number 313131 and a link will be sent to your phone to download the App. Att: Past issues may have inadvertently Sheimos, Please disgard this Magazine accordingly in geniza Thank You.

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Shalom Bayis

By R Levy

Looking out for number one

one of the Secrets

of Shalom bayis As the common saying goes, “Opposites attract.” You may or may not agree, depending on your particular set of life experiences, but when it comes to marriage, there are two ways to look at this statement.

OppOsites

attract

–

On sOme level, this must be

true, otherwise, people would never get married at all.

But… they are still opposites. Men are different from women in almost every respect, and this is certainly no accident. It is told in the name of the Rebbe Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk zy”a that if husband and wife were not total opposites, it would be impossible for them to bring children into the world. Nonetheless, it still looks like a recipe for disaster, and this is actually what the Torah teaches us. The famous Midrash ( parashas Vayetzei) tells of a wealthy lady who came to Rabi Yosi bar Chalafta and demanded to know what God has been doing since He created the world. When she heard that He was “only” busy with making shidduchim, she decided to try her hand at it, too – and the results were catastrophic.

None of the couples she paired managed to survive more than a day of married life together.

One might think that Hakadosh Baruch Hu, knowing as He does the natures of all His creations, would have far greater success in matching people who are compatible with one another.

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But this is not what we see. Rather, the same Midrash continues with Rabi Yosi agreeing with the lady that making shidduchim is exceedingly difficult, and that therefore, God “pairs them against their will, not by their own choices…”

It’s certainly possible for God to pair up like-minded individuals – why would He choose not to? The Midrash concludes: “Those who choose to sing in joy and appreciation do so; those who choose not to sing, cry instead…” What does this come to tell us?

****

Did you ever see a chassan and kallah arguing under the chuppah? Most likely not – any minor disagreements were surely ironed out beforehand, and major disagreements would probably have led to the engagement being called off.

Did you ever see a husband and wife arguing? What happened?

Oh – you’re not as compatible as you thought you were?

Where was the seichel to realize this, before you got married?

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It would seem that Hakadosh Baruch Hu specially engineered matters- set up an elaborate smokescreen, so to speakto get two totally different people to somehow agree to spend the rest of their lives together. Just knowing this fact is going to help you get over the first hurdle, namely, the “Is he/she really my bashert?” question that is likely to pop up very quickly.

The answer to this question is “Yes”with the proviso that bashert doesn’t necessarily mean what you thought it did. It certainly doesn’t mean that you will see eye to eye on everything, or even on most things. Of course you both have to be committed to a Torah lifestyle within broad parameters, but, sometimes shockingly, the similarities often stop there.

Nonetheless, you are meant to be married to each other – there was no mistake. You weren’t stupid, or crazy, or bamboozled into marriage. You don’t even have to feel guilty that there is friction. And there is certainly nobody “out there” who would have made better marriage material for you. NoHakadosh Baruch Hu “paired you against your will.” He knew what He was doing – soon, b’ezras Hashem, will you.

****

The fact that we need to submit to a certain amount of deception in order to marry is actually not such a bad sign. Animals find their partners quite naturally and have no need for the institution of marriage to ensure the survival of the species. For Jews, however, marriage is not a matter of convenience. Neither is it the instinctive response of “We get along so well; let’s get married.” Rather, marriage is something holy, something very precious, something to be strived towards. The number of obstacles along the road to marital harmony only serve to highlight the great value of shalom bayis. We don’t get married because we want to get married – we get married because we need to be married.

We need to gain something from being

married that we couldn’t possibly attain without it – and that something is: ourselves.

Ask a non-Jew, “What does marriage start with?” and you will probably hear the answer, “Love.” Pointing out that marriages based on emotional love, especially in today’s world, tend to collapse into divorce pretty quickly, is unlikely to have any influence on the marrying couple. Most of the Western world long ago accepted that marriage will last as long as the emotions behind it do, and when they fizzle out, it’s time to leave. No hard feelings… This attitude is of course anathema to us.

So, what is marriage based on? The right answer is: commitment. Commitment to your spouse, to build a home together; and, commitment to oneself. A mature adult does not enter into any commitment lightly, but intends and plans to be able to honor his word, regardless of almost all changes in circumstance. It is the privilege of an adult to be able to enter into a marriage or make any other oath. It should be a matter of honor, of self-esteem, to keep one’s word even when it’s a challenge to do so.

This explains why marriage means so much more than doing what your spouse asks you to do, even with a smiling face. That is being committed to the other person; being committed to yourself, however, entails doing what is required for the marriage, even without being asked to do so. Even if the other person is mevater, or unaware of a need,

your actions, expect to have a stormy ride.

Of course, emotions don’t just include the basic, “Right now, I’m just not in the mood” to do whatever needs to be done. They also incorporate, “What! After what he did yesterday? After what she said this morning?” Remember: You are committed to yourself. You too are flawed. You too have faults that you would rather other people forgot about, or ignored. If you believe in yourself as a person who can build a compassionate marriage, then do it – don’t wait for the other person to start.

****

“Those who choose to sing in joy and appreciation do so; those who choose not to sing, cry instead…” In many cases, despite the best efforts of husband or wife, the other spouse is simply not sufficiently invested in the marriage.

How can the hard-working, determined spouse be expected to sing in joy when they see their work being either ignored, invalidated, or even sabotaged?

Is this not a tragedy?

On one level, the tragedy is undeniable. “If only…” tells us that things could have been so much better, so much more harmonious and productive. But only one of the partners has really lost the opportunity to build an everlasting edifice – not the one who tried and “failed” but rather the one who never tried at all.

Marriage is an opportunity to build ourselves – regardless of the outcome, which is, as in all other matters, in Hashem’s hands. Surrendering our hopes and expectations is probably one of the hardest things for a striving human being to do – but if we do not wish to succumb to despair, we must learn this lesson. Then, and only then, will we be able to see the joy and appreciation- the joy of building ourselves through adverse circumstances, and the appreciation for being given the opportunity to do so.

And then daven that your spouse will merit to do so, too.

the number of obstacles along the road to marital harmony only serve to highlight the great value of shalom bayis. or does not expect it of you, it should still be a matter of honor for you to do the right thing – no matter how you feel. If your emotions are your guide to To advertise, call 718-513-9885

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REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM AISH.COM

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Wishing everyone Chag ’Sameach

Open to public from Mon. -Thurs. 9:00 -7:00 Fri. 9:00 3:00 Sun. 10:00-5:00 Sat. Closed

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ATTENTION ALL PAIN SUFFERERS …

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Dr. Isaac’s innovative technology-assisted joint realignment procedures have been tested for years and have helped many people just like yourself who were about to have surgery and then walked away pain-free. His methods have caught the attention of top medical reporters and media outlets and has been featured on NBC, ABC and NY 1 NEWS. Call Now to see if you qualify for a FREE TRIAL of “PRECISION JOINT REALIGNMENT TECHNOLOGY™” so we can see if we can help you solve your joint issue, fast.

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Non-Surgical Orthopedic Manipulation gently and rapidly heals limited range of motion in any joint in your body, without injections or xray radiation. The science behind the idea came from research in the 1960’s. The fact is that every joint has fluid in it. Fluid gets inflamed trapping the ligaments, tissues and nerve endings with overuse. We can see this fluid on MRI’s and Ultrasound Technologies.

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Shavuos

Cheese Cakes

Galore

Gitta Bixenspanner n.d.

Shavuot is the holiday when we traditionally serve dairy at one meal. Variety is the spice of life, what can be better than a selection of cheesecakes to enhance your dessert table with something for every taste. Cheese and fruit pair well in these delicious choices and add a summer taste for a spectacular end to your meal. Impress your guests with this dazzling array of cheesecakes to suit every palate. You might even want to keep these recipes for your summer Sholosh seudos.

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Zesty Summer Cheese Pie Take a bite of this lemony, Zesty Summer Cheese Pie that gets its smooth, light texture from whipped cottage cheese and added taste from its cherry and nut topping! Simple and delicious!

Ingredients 1 (16-ounce) container low-fat cottage cheese 1/2 cup sugar 1 tsp lemon zest 3 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 (9-inch) graham cracker pie crust 3 Tbs cherry pie filling 1 Tbs blanched almonds, chopped Directions 1.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. 2.

In a medium bowl, with an electric mixer, combine cottage cheese, sugar, lemon zest, eggs, and vanilla. Pour the mixture into the pie crust.

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Lemon Blueberry Cheese Bars Ingredients Butter, for greasing 2 Tbs sugar ⅛ tsp ground cinnamon 9 graham crackers ½ stick unsalted butter, melted For the filling 16 oz cream cheese, room temperature 3 eggs 2 lemons, zested and juiced 1 cup sugar 1 ½ cups fresh blueberries Powdered sugar, for dusting DIRECTIONS For the base Place parchment paper in a 9 by 13-inch baking pan pressing down at the corners. In a food processor, process the sugar, cinnamon and graham crackers until you have the texture of bread crumbs. Add the melted butter and pulse a couple of times to fully incorporate. Pour into the lined baking pan and gently

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pat down with the base of a glass. Bake in the oven for 12 minutes until golden. When done set aside to cool.

For the filling Preheat oven to 300ºF. In a mixer beat cream cheese until fluffy, add eggs one at the time until well mixed , put in lemon zest, lemon juice and sugar to the mixer and mix until well combined. It should have a smooth consistency. Pour onto the cooled base and then cover with blueberries.

They will sink slightly but should still be half exposed -- as the cake bakes they will sink a little more and break down.

Bake in the oven for 35 minutes or until the center only slightly jiggles. Remove from the oven and cool completely before refrigerating for at least 3 hours.

Once set, remove from pan using the parchment lining and slice into 10 rectangular bars. Dust with powdered sugar.

Preparation 15 minutes Makes 10 bars

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Original Rum Cheesecake This delicious and easy cheesecake is a great ending for this festive meal.

Ingredients (crust) 1 1/2 cups Graham Cracker Crumb 1/4 cup melted butter 2 Tbs granulated sugar Ingredients for cake 3 packages brick-style cream cheese softened 4 eggs 1 tsp freshly grated nutmeg or cinnamon 1/4 tsp. salt 1 Tbs vanilla 2 Tbs rum extract Ingredients for topping 1 cup whipping cream 2 Tbs sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract Sprinkling of cinnamon or nutmeg Directions for crust Preheat oven to 350 F. Process crumbs and melted butter and sugar till crumbly. Firmly press into a 9 inch spring form cake pan. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes until lightly golden. Allow to cool completely. Reduce oven heat to 325F. Line the inside of a spring form pan with parchment

paper strip. Set the pan on a large piece of heavy duty foil and wrap the sides then place in a deep roasting pan.

Proceed to prepare the cheesecake batter.

Beat cream cheese until smooth. Beat in sugar, nutmeg or cinnamon and salt until fluffy Add eggs one at the time and beat well after each addition. Blend in the rum extract and vanilla combining well.

Pour water into roasting pan to come halfway up sides of the spring form pan. Bake until set but not dry in center, about 60 minutes Turn off the heat and leave cake inside oven for one hour.

Remove from oven and remove pan from the water.

Allow to cool completely and remove from spring form transferring to a platter before serving.

Topping Beat whipping cream with sugar and vanilla until stiff. Use it to decorate the top of the cake and then sprinkle with cinnamon or nutmeg.

Tips This cheesecake freezes well in its spring form pan, covered with aluminum foil. Freeze for up to 2 weeks.

Feel free to decorate the topping with cherry pie filling or fresh strawberries for a different look

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Vanilla Blueberry Cupcakes Kids love these finger food cupcakes they are easy to serve and taste delicious.

INGREDIENTS 1 ⅔ cups all-purpose flour 1 cup sugar ¼ tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder ¾ cup cream cheese 3 egg whites well beaten 3 tsp vanilla extract ½ cup plain Greek yogurt ½ cup milk 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries Vanilla Icing ½ cup butter 2 cups powdered sugar 2 Tbsp milk 1 tsp vanilla extract

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DIRECTIONS Preheat oven to 350ºF. Beat eggs whites until soft peaks form. Add butter, yogurt and milk and mix on very slow speed just until smooth. Do not over mix.

Whisk together flour, sugar, baking soda and baking powder in a large mixing bowl add to egg white mixture.

Fill the cupcake liners a little bit more than halfway.

Bake for 18-20 minutes.

Allow them to to cool.

Vanilla Icing Mix icing ingredients until smooth then put it into a piping bag.

Top your cupcakes with the desired amount of icing and enjoy!

Preparation 15 minutes Serves 12

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Cherry Cheesecake Smoothie Cherry cheesecake Cherries add a sweet taste, which studies have linked to satiety and the ricotta delivers plenty of fill-you-up protein.

SERVINGS: 1 ½ c part-skim ricotta cheese 1½ c fresh pitted cherries 1½ c unsweetened vanilla almond milk Juice of ½ lemon 1 Tbs ground flaxseed Directions Combine ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Pour into a cup and decorate with a slice of pineapple. Enjoy this drink with a spoon for enhanced health benefits.

Berry Cream sickle Avocado and Greek yogurt give this berry blast a thick, creamy texture for added satiety.

SERVINGS: 1 ¾ c frozen blueberries 1 c frozen strawberries ½ avocado ½ c fat-free plain Greek yogurt ½ c orange juice Directions Combine ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.

Pour into a cup and decorate with a slice of pineapple.

Enjoy this drink with a spoon for enhanced health benefits

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My iPhone Addiction

by Ari

How I learned to gain control over my incessant need to be constantly connected.

I

’m a junkie. I am addicted to my iPhone.

I’m a regular guy. I live in Jerusalem and learn Torah every day. I exercise. I work a responsible job. I am good parent and spouse. And yes, I have a smart phone.

I’ve heard about all the dire warnings from rabbis about the dangers of smart phones; their points are valid. But I needed my iPhone 24/6 for work and I had no choice.

Or so I thought until this summer.

Our family hosted Yael, a teenage girl who came to stay with us for a month after she finished up a year in seminary.

Yael is a close family friend and we enjoy her company; she is great with the kids and helps out around the house. But after a week, I noticed that she had not left the house once. In fact, she barely left the living room. She just sat there on the couch, while an entire world of chaos (five Israeli kids in apartment with neighborhood kids regularly stampeding

through) exploded around her on a daily basis.

Not a glance, not a stare. She was in her own world, oblivious to her surroundings, consumed by whatsapp, snapchat, instagram, email, news updates and even updates about when there would be more updates. Her thumbs tap danced on the screen at the speed of a Riverdance performer trying to keep up with the next beat – I mean beep. It was truly a spectacle to behold.

“Why are you sitting on the couch all day?” I asked her.

“Because I am attached,” Yael replied.

She meant it literally. Her wireless phone was plugged into the wall. She did not leave the couch at the risk of running out of battery.

One day catastrophe struck – her iPhone broke. Yael was helping out in the kitchen, serving two kids macaroni, pouring drinks and peeling a banana for To advertise, call 718-513-9885

the baby all with one hand. In her other hand was the iPhone, where she was performing a one-legged show with her free thumb. As she reached for the send button, the phone slipped out of her hand and crashed onto the floor shattering the display and the phone wouldn’t turn on.

“What am I going to do?” she said.

“Can you grab the baby? He’s dangling from the highchair,” I said.

She froze. She couldn’t focus on anything but the fate of her 36 whatsapp groups, the expected evening instagrams, and the conclusion of the selfie photo series her friends were snapchatting down the aisle at Shop Rite.

“Don’t worry about it, I know a place that can fix it,” I said.

At the electronics repair shop the owner said to the visibly distraught Yael, “Come back tomorrow, I’ll see if maybe I can fix it.”

“Maybe? Did he say maybe?” I heard

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ST

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HAVE FUN! E

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& OUT

& FRIEN

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