Flatbush Buzz #112 November 12 2017

ion Flatbush/Marine Park Edit

Brooklyn’s only Door to Door Magazine Flatbush - Marine Park - Boro Park - Williamsburg

Bringing you the Buzz! on Savings & Events

Volume 5, Issue 112 November 12th 2017

READ ARTICLE ON PAGE 38

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‫לייגט אריין אינעם בייגעלייגטן‬ ‫ענוועלאופ א קוויטל מיט די‬ ‫נעמען פון די פארפאלק‬

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Rabbi Lau on the State of Jewry Today

by Rabbi Shraga Simmons

A thought-provoking conversation with the esteemed rabbi.

R

abbi Yisrael Meir Lau served for 10 years as the Chief Rabbi of Israel and is currently in his 20th year as Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv. At age 8, he was the youngest person liberated from the Buchenwald concentration camp (as chronicled in his Holocaust memoir, Out of the Depths) and today serves as the Chairman of Yad Vashem, dedicated to preserving the memory of the Holocaust for future generations.

Rabbi Lau spoke with Aish.com at his office in Tel Aviv, in anticipation of the upcoming Aish HaTorah Conference on November 17-19 in New York, where Rabbi Lau will be a keynote speaker.

Aish.com: So many young Jews feel

8

disconnected from Israel and their Jewish heritage. As the 38th generation in an unbroken chain of rabbis, what is your message to these young Jews?

Rabbi Lau: In athletics, there is an idea of a relay race. You run 100 meters, then transfer the baton to the next runner.

In the times of the Maccabees, there was not a baton, but rather a torch. For the Jewish people, fire has great significance: Torah is called “a fiery law” (Deut. 33:3), hence Aish HaTorah – the fire of Torah.

Fire gives light and warmth. That torch of Jewish tradition was passed from generation to generation, for nearly 4,000 years since the time of Abraham.

I would say to a young person: The torch is now in your hands. You are

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a participant in the relay race of the generations. Will you extinguish the flame, or will you transfer it to the next generation? All previous generations have passed along this heritage, entrusting you to likewise pass along what you have inherited. Look in the mirror and ask: Is it fair to extinguish the flame? You don’t owe me anything, but you owe yourself an answer.

Aish.com: In Europe, anti-Semitism is worse than it’s been for many years.

Consider a young Jew living in France, for example, who doesn’t speak Hebrew, and whose family, friends and career are in France – yet is concerned about his future there. What will convince him to feel that his future is in Israel?

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Rabbi

Lau:

You cannot love or appreciate something you don’t know. Just like when choosing a marriage partner, you need to ask a lot of questions, to look deeply into the other person’s eyes, to understand the depth behind them. Do you feel a connection, or not?

So the answer is to spend some time in Israel. To travel, meet the people, visit the Western Wall, study the history.

Then your decision will be made.

Moses greatly desired to cross into the land of Israel, but was not privileged to fulfill that dream. We have the opportunity to achieve what even Moses did not. Understand God’s command to Abraham: Lech Lecha – “go to the land which I will show you.” Understand why Isaac was careful to never step foot outside of Israel. Study the history of Jewish communities in Russia, Iraq – even France during the Holocaust – and so many diaspora communities who suffered over the centuries. Israel has an unbroken chain of Jewish settlement since the time of King David. Understand your connection to that.

Aish.com: Today in Israel there is tension between religious and secular Jews. What can we do to improve the situation, to bring the sides closer together?

Rabbi Lau: There is no easy solution.

It is a long, long way. For secular Jews, Shabbat is the main problem. They say: “What business do you have telling me there are no busses or trains on Shabbat?

This is religious coercion! You can go to the synagogue, but let me live.”

Unfortunately, the perception of many secular Jews is that Shabbat is all about “what is forbidden.” It is forbidden to light a cigarette, forbidden to drive a car. Electricity is forbidden, cooking is forbidden, writing is forbidden. It is forbidden to use the telephone, do laundry, watch TV or listen to the radio. It is

10

So the answer is to spend some time in Israel. To travel, meet the people, visit the Western Wall, study the history. Then your decision will be made. forbidden to go swimming or go shopping.

Forbidden, forbidden, forbidden!

The problem is that one only hears about the restrictive side of Shabbat and not about beautiful, positive side of Shabbat. The lighting of the candles, welcoming Shabbat with “Lecha Dodi,” reciting Kiddush at the beautiful Shabbat table, the singing of Shabbat songs. He doesn’t understand the depth and wisdom of the weekly Torah portion.

One cannot accept Shabbat if he has never tasted Shabbat. First experience Shabbat, then decide if that speaks more to your heart than the beach or shopping.

We have six other days for those activities.

The two aspects of Shabbat – positive and negative – were spoken at Mount Sinai in a single utterance. In the Torah, the positive aspect (Zachor) is written in the first account of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:8), and the negative aspect

(Shamor) is written in the second account (Deut. 5:12). It is not coincidental that the positive comes first.

But a secular Jew, on the outside looking in, sees only the negative.

In previous generations, nonreligious Israelis at least had grandparents who observed a traditional Shabbat.

On summer vacation, when visiting their grandparents, they would see the lighting of Shabbat candles and would taste chollent (the special Shabbat stew). Unfortunately, such opportunities to experience Shabbat are more rare today.

The solution is in our hands. We need to invite people into our home, to show them the beauty of a Shabbat table. We can gently ask: “What have you got to lose? It doesn’t cost anything. It doesn’t hurt. Come once and see.” The invitation alone conveys the feeling that you care.

A few years ago, Israel’s Interior Minister, Gideon Sa’ar, a non-observant Jew, was in a position to sign a new Tel Aviv law permitting supermarkets to be open on Shabbat. On the holidays of Shavuot and Rosh Hashana, Gideon and his wife were guests in my home.

I asked him to consider: Who are the workers in the supermarket? Who is the stock boy? Who is the checkout clerk?

Who is the security guard at the door?

Who cleans the floors? They are new immigrants from Russia and Ethiopia, and university students who need to pay their expenses. The entire week they work like slaves. And if they will say, “I cannot work on Shabbat,” the supermarket will reply, “Then we don’t need you.”

Meanwhile, the owner of the supermarket is vacationing in Monte Carlo. He needs the stores open on Shabbat because he needs more money.

It’s not enough a private plane; he also needs a private yacht. At least one day a week, the “people of the book” should not be defined as the “people of commerce.”

There are many reasons for statewide Shabbat observance - religious, social and national. As the testimony to Creation,

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‫‪606‬‬ ‫‪606‬‬ ‫‪606‬‬

‫בשנת תשבשנת‬ ‫ת‬ ‫ש‬ ‫ע“ו‬ ‫ע“ו‬

‫‪In the year 2016‬‬

‫‪babies‬‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫‪were lost‬‬

‫אבדו‬ ‫אבדו‬

‫‪Can you stand by‬‬ ‫?‪and let this happen‬‬

‫אפרת‬ ‫תשע“ה‬ ‫הצילה ‪,289‬‬ ‫הצילה‪4‬‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫‪4,289‬‬ ‫אפרת‬ ‫אגודת‬ ‫תשע“ה‬ ‫בשנת בשנת‬ ‫‪89 children‬‬ ‫‪4,2894,289‬‬ ‫תינוקות‪In‬‬ ‫‪2015‬‬ ‫‪EFRAT‬‬ ‫‪saved‬‬ ‫אגודת‪4,2‬‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫אגודת אפרת‬ ‫תשע“ו‬ ‫הצילה ‪,683‬‬ ‫הצילה‪3‬‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫אפרת‬ ‫תשע“ו‬ ‫בשנת בשנת‬ ‫‪3,683 EFRAT‬‬ ‫‪3‬‬ ‫‪8‬‬ ‫‪In 2016‬‬ ‫אגודת‪saved‬‬ ‫‪children‬‬ ‫‪,6‬‬ ‫‪3‬‬

‫‪EFRAT‬‬ ‫‪saves‬‬ ‫‪babies‬‬ ‫‪from‬‬ ‫‪certain‬‬ ‫‪death.‬‬ ‫האם תוכל לעמוד מנגד?‬

‫האם תוכל לעמוד מנגד?‬

‫בסכום של ‪ 4,500‬ש“ח אגודת אפרת מצילה תינוק שבוי ‪Rambam: “There is no‬‬ ‫בסכום של ‪ 4,500‬ש“ח אגודת אפרת מצילה תינוק שבוי‬ ‫‪Mitzva greater than‬‬ ‫‪redeeming someone‬‬ ‫בברכה בברכה‬ ‫תתקבלתתקבל‬ ‫תרומהתרומה‬ ‫כל כל‬ ‫”‪from captivity‬‬ ‫‪(Rambam, Hilchot Matanot‬‬ ‫)‪L’Aniyim 8,10‬‬

‫שבויים‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫להצלת‬ ‫שותף‬ ‫שבויים‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫להצלת‬ ‫שותף‬ ‫היה היה‬

‫‪“Saving a Jewish life‬‬ ‫‪takes priority over writing‬‬ ‫‪a Sefer Torah in memory‬‬ ‫”‪of a loved one.‬‬

‫אפרת‪02-5454500‬‬ ‫אפרת‬ ‫‪02-5454500‬‬ ‫אגודה לעידוד הילודה בעם היהודי ‪y‬ע‪ì‬ר‪saving a bab‬‬ ‫אגודה לעידוד ‪0‬‬ ‫הילודה‪,20‬‬ ‫בעם‪$1‬‬ ‫היהודי‪nly‬‬ ‫ע‪ì‬ר‪costs o‬‬ ‫מס‪46‬‬ ‫סעיף‬ ‫מוכרות לפי‬ ‫לצרכי מס‬ ‫כל התרומות מוכרות‬ ‫לפי סעיף ‪46‬‬ ‫לצרכי‬ ‫‪ations‬כל‪ll don‬‬ ‫התרומות‪a‬‬ ‫‪are welcome‬‬

‫‪(Psak that HaGaon Rav Chaim Kanievsky EFRAT@EFRAT.ORG.IL‬‬ ‫‪EFRAT@EFRAT.ORG.IL‬‬ ‫)‪Shlita gave to Dr. Schussheim‬‬

‫שבויים“‬ ‫מפדיון‬ ‫גדולה‬ ‫מצוה‬ ‫”אין לך‬ ‫שבויים‬ ‫מפדיון‬ ‫יותריותר‬ ‫גדולה‬ ‫מצוה‬ ‫”אין לך‬

‫רמב“ם‪ ,‬הלכות מתנות עניים‪ ,‬פרק ח‘ הלכה י‘‬ ‫רמב“ם‪ ,‬הלכות מתנות עניים‪ ,‬פרק ח‘ הלכה י‬

‫שבויים‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫אפרת מ‬ ‫שבויים‬ ‫תינוקות‬ ‫מצילה‬ ‫מצילהמ‬ ‫אפרת‬ ‫בפיקוחודאי‬ ‫בפיקוח נפש‬ ‫הנמצאים‬ ‫הנמצ‬ ‫נפש ודא‬ ‫הנמצאים‬ ‫הנמצ‬

‫‪Tax exemption number: 22-3431457‬‬

Shabbat is the foundation of monotheism. Shabbat commemorates the Exodus from Egypt, our liberation from slavery. Shabbat is the great equalizer among people – there is no social gap; no “boss and employee.” Shabbat provides rest for the body and elevation for the soul.

The first mayor of Tel Aviv, Meir Dizengoff, determined that all stores and attractions must be closed for the duration of Shabbat. Dizengoff was secular, but he understood: Anyone who harms Shabbat, he said, harms the unity of the Jewish people.

In Israel, children go to school six days a week. During the week, there is limited time for families to sit and talk parents and children, husband and wife. The only day off is on Shabbat. That is the day to build family unity.

But what if the parents are working at the supermarket?

On the one day that children have no school, parents are working to fill the pockets of the business owners, rather than spending quality time with their children. Is this fair?

Is this the fulfillment of our dream to return to the Jewish homeland after 2,000 years?

As in the case of the biblical Esau, let us not exchange our most important values “for a bowl of lentils.”

This is what I told Gideon Sa’ar. And when the authorization to open supermarkets on Shabbat came to his desk, he did not sign.

12

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Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

The Shmuz on the Parsha

I Have Yichus Parshas Toldos “And Yitzchak prayed intensely opposite his wife because she was barren. And HASHEM listened to him, and Rivka became pregnant.” —

Bereishis 25:21

HASHEM answered Yitzchak’s prayers and not Rivka’s

The Imahos were all barren. Not simply incapable of having children, they lacked the very organs to necessary to conceive. Knowing this, Yitzchak and Rivka davened for a miracle. They each stood in their opposite corners, imploring, entreating, and begging HASHEM to allow them to have a child. After twenty years of pleading, HASHEM granted the miracle — Rivka became pregnant.

However, the posuk says: HASHEM listened to his prayers. Rashi makes the observation that it was to his prayers that HASHEM listened and not to hers. Rashi explains that this is because Yitzchak was the son of a tzaddik, whereas Rivka was the daughter of a rasha (wicked person).

Since there is no comparison between the prayers of a tzaddik who is the child of tzaddik to the prayers of a tzaddik who is the child of a rasha, HASHEM listened to his prayers and not to hers.

Wasn’t Rivka greater because she overcame her upbringing?

The problem with this Rashi is that we

14

know that a person isn’t judged according to where he is now, but according to where he came from. The fact that Rivka came from “lowly stock” and yet managed to overcome her upbringing is to her credit — she is even greater because of it.

In fact, just one posuk earlier, we are told that Rivka was the daughter of Besuel, the sister of Lavan, and from a city of devious people. Rashi explains that the Torah repeats her lineage there to show to us how great she was: “Even though her father was wicked, even though her brother was wicked, and even though she came from a town of wicked people, she was righteous.” Precisely because she came from the house of wicked people and wasn’t negatively influenced, she was considered greater than if she had been born into a house of holy people. Yet here we see that because she came from the house of wicked people, her prayers weren’t accepted. This seems to be a direct contradiction.

Two systems of merit: who I am vs. who my father is

The answer to this seeming inconsistency is that there are two systems involved in weighing a person’s merits.

The first system is based on the individual: Who am I, and what have I accomplished in this world? Based on where I started, based on the talents and abilities given to me, how far did I go? How much did I change? That is the system that is used to measure me when I leave this earth. Who am I now, compared to who I was when I

started?

However, there is a second system that comes into play when a person stands in front of HASHEM during davening.

The following parable helps us understand this system. A loyal friend of the king had a son who turned to bad ways. When petitioning the king to have mercy, he won’t present his case based on the merit of his son – he asks the king to remember who he is. He asks the king to remember all the years of loyal service that he provided, to ignore the faults of his son, and to remember the love and devotion that he has proven to the king.

When the son of a tzdadik stands in front of HASHEM

So, too, when the son of a tzaddik comes in front of HASHEM, it may well be that his merit alone isn’t sufficient to change the judgment. Based on his merit alone, he may not deserve whatever it is that he is requesting. But the merit of his father who stands for him carries him far beyond his own arguments.

Rivka stood alone

When Rivka stood in front of HASHEM, she was a very holy woman, but as great as she was, her merit alone was not sufficient to bring forth the type of miracle needed. When Yitzchak stood in front of HASHEM, he was effectively twice as tall as Rivka because his own merit and the merit of his father were working for him. It may well be that Rivka herself was greater because she

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had overcome the obstacles of her father’s house, but in terms of asking mercy from HASHEM, she stood alone. Therefore, HASHEM listened to Yitzchak’s prayer and not to Rivka’s.

a

Great Day starts with a

What right do I have to expect HASHEM to listen to me?

This concept has great relevance to our lives. There may be many times when we think about approaching HASHEM for help and may say to ourselves, “Am I worthy? Do I have the right to ask, let alone expect HASHEM to grant this request?

Am I so great that HASHEM should change the course of events for me?” And the answer may well be no – our merit alone is not sufficient. Based on who we are, based on what we have done, it may very well be that we have no right to expect these things from HASHEM. However, Chazal were very wise when they crafted our tefillos; they are based on invoking the merits of the Avos.

When we make requests from HASHEM, we begin by asking in the merit of Avrohom, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. As children of the Avos, we request that HASHEM remember their righteousness and answer our requests in their merit, not our own. By ourselves, we may not merit health, well-being, or parnassa, but we ask that in the zchus of our forefathers, HASHEM have mercy. Understanding this concept can help us relate to the unique power and effect that our tefillos can have, well above what we may be entitled to.

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Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier was a high school rebbe for 15 years before creating Shmuz.com. The Shmuz, a popular website that dispenses weekly Torah inspiration to 10,000 people across the globe, reflects the down-to-earth, practical voice of Rabbi Shafier. Offering refreshing parasha thoughts, life-changing hashkafa workshops, and captivating marriage seminars (like “10 Really Dumb Mistakes that Very Smart Couples Make”), Rabbi Shafier is direct, daring, and downright funny, providing audiences with essential Torah principles packaged in an enticing, enjoyable way. A father of six and grandfather of four, Rabbi Shafier lives in Monsey, New York.

GoodNight Nursing All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at www. theShmuz.com or on the Shmuz App for iphone or Android.

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Att: Past issues may have inadvertently Sheimos, Please disgard this Magazine accordingly in geniza Thank You.

16

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17

Smartphones’ Negative Effects: A Summary of the Latest Comprehensive Research

T

he research on the harms of smartphone use and the benefits of putting them down is extensive.

Here is a summary of the key findings, links to further information, and some concrete suggestions on how to limit the damage.

1. Smartphones are making us dumber.

Smartphones are changing the way we think and dumbing down our intellectual abilities in frightening ways.

In one 2017 study at the University of California in San Diego, 520 students were randomly divided into three groups and told they were going to take a series of tests designed to measure cognitive ability. One group was told to leave their smartphones in the lobby before being shown into the classroom where the tests were held. A second group was allowed to bring their smartphones with them, but asked to keep them in a bag or pocket.

The third group placed their smartphones on their desks while they took their tests.

The test results were striking: students

18

who had left their smartphones in the lobby performed significantly better on the intelligence tests than students who’d brought their phones into the classroom with them. Students who’d placed their phones on their desks performed the worst by far, even though those students reported afterwards that they hadn’t even been thinking about their phones during the tests. It seems that the very proximity of their smartphones lowered students’ mental abilities.

Other studies have found the same results: students do significantly better on tests when they cannot see their smartphones. Even when smartphones are turned off, their very presence, dampens students’ performance and ability. One 2017 study at the University of Arkansas even found that leaving their smartphones behind when they went to take a test was correlated with students earning a full letter grade higher on a test, compared with students who brought their phones into the testing site.

For adults, the dumbing-down of phones can be more difficult to measure.

One 2015 British survey showed that

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adults concentrated less on difficult tasks and performed more sloppily when they heard their smartphones buzzing with notifications, even when they didn’t stop to check their phones. A 2010 study at McGill University in Montreal found that drivers who routinely use smartphone or other apps to navigate while driving, instead of relying on their own mapreading or memory, showed less brain activity and even less gray matter in the hippocampus region of their brains, an area that’s important for memory.

Phones make us dumber by distracting us too. Knowing that our phone has messages for us greatly reduces our ability to focus on work. Psychologist Daniel Levitin estimates that “being in a situation where you are trying to concentrate on a task, (while) and e-mail is sitting unread in your inbox, can reduce your effective IQ by 10 points.”

Suggestions: consider leaving your smartphone at home during work or school when you want to be at your mental best. If leaving your phone at home doesn’t seem feasible, try keeping it in out of sight, in a cloakroom, your car, or

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a locker.

2. Smartphones are making us sadder and more alienated.

Increased smartphone use is bringing much of our lives online, interacting via texts and social media instead of face to face human contact. Studies show that is making us sadder and more alienated.

Between 2000 and 2015, the number of teenagers who report getting together with their friends nearly every day fell by more than 40%, which much of that drop coming in the last few years, as smartphones have become more common (a key finding in the much discussed Atlantic Monthly article “Has the Smartphone Destroyed a Generation?”)

Over half of teens text each day with their friends, often incessantly. A third of teens send over 100 text messages each day. That doesn’t translate into deeper communication: only about a third of teens report regularly talking with their friends in person.

Texts are convenient, but they’re no substitute for real conversation. MIT Professor Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Ourselves, documents the destructive nature of electronic communication and calls the way we interact with smartphones being alone, even when we’re ostensibly communicating with other people.

“Face-to-face conversation unfolds slowly,” Prof. Turkle explains. “It teaches patience. When we communicate on our digital devices, we learn different habits…we start to expect faster answers.

To get these, we ask one another simpler questions. We dumb down our communications, even on the most important matters.”

Electronic communication also allows us to pick and choose which ideas we engage in, isolating us from the broad marketplace of ideas and limiting viewpoints to filtered echo chambers.

Even when we do spend time face to face with other people, the mere presence of a smartphone can disrupt and downgrade our conversations. In a major 2014 study led by Prof. Shalini Misra of Virginia Tech, one hundred pairs of people were asked to have a conversation in a

Texts are convenient, but they’re no substitute for real conversation.

MIT Professor Sherry Turkle,

such as phones are 35% more likely to be suicidal than teens who use social media less often.

The correlation between social media and depression applies to adults too. One 2016 British survey found that 20% of respondents reported that interacting with friends via social media on electronic devices left them feeling depressed afterwards.

On the other hand, carving time out for non-electronic activities is associated with greater happiness and feelings of connectivity. Teens who spend time playing sports, attending religious services, and doing non-electronic activities such as homework have much lower levels of depression than their more electronic-obsessed peers.

Suggestions: carve out times when your phone is off and out of sight. When you meet friends for coffee or meals, consider declaring your table a phone-free zone for an hour or so. Specify times that your family will be phone-free. Be sure to schedule lots of non-phone activities for yourself and your family, when you can rest and recharge and connect without distraction.

3. Negative impact on your health.

Washington DC cafe. Those couples who spoke in the presence of a smartphone even when the phone was simply resting on the table - reported lower levels of empathy in their conversations and a greater sense of alienation. The results were particularly striking when the conversational partners were close friends, instead of acquaintances, who were much less satisfied with conversations rendered less meaningful by the presence of a smartphone.

Smartphones are also associated with feeling lonely and depressed. Teenagers who visit social networking sites daily but see their friends less frequently are more likely to agree with the sentiment “A lot of times I feel lonely” and “I often wish I had more good friends”. Rates of loneliness rose sharply in the early 2010s, and have remained high ever since.

Among eighth graders, using social media often is associated with a 27% increase in depression. Among teens, spending three hours a day or more on electronic devices

One of the single greatest acts you can take for your health right now is limiting your smartphone use.

One casualty of smartphone use is sleep. Over 60% of 18 to 29 year olds report sleeping with their smartphones in their beds. Hearing the beeps and pings of constant updates all night has a deleterious effect on sleep. The number of teens who are sleep-deprived has grown rapidly along with increases in smartphone use: 57% more teens were sleep deprived in 2015 than in 1991.

Even if we don’t bring our phones into bed, reading on smartphone and other screens at night wreaks havoc with our bodies’ internal clocks: the LED lights of electronic screens suppress our melatonin, making it harder to sleep when we’ve spent the evening gazing at a screen.

Professor Kevin Morgan, Director of the Clinical Sleep Research Unit at Britain’s Loughborough University, points out that late-night screen time is qualitatively different from other

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19

activities. “Looking at screens engages you in intellectual activity in a way that is not at all like reading a book. It puts you in a state of alertness which is the last thing you want to be before going to bed.”

Smartphones are also associated with an increase in neck / back problems as we hunch over our phones and with higher levels of obesity as we eschew other activities in favor of staying home and gazing at our smartphones, and even with making it easier (through calorie-watching apps) to develop eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia.

When it comes to driving, apps, many of which encourage users to enter data or pictures while driving, have led to a huge leap in accidents, after years of decline.

In the first six months of 2016 alone, there were over 17,770 highway deaths

in the US, most resulting from distracted driving. Drivers were on their phones in 52% of all car crashes in the US in 2016.

Smartphones take a toll on our mental health, as well. One 2016 study at the University of Illinois found that high smartphone use was associated with lower levels of mental health. Anxiety and depression, particularly, were associated with heavy smartphone use.

For young children, the health risks of smartphones are huge. A 2017 study at the University of Toronto and the Hospital for Sick Children found that every half hour of screen time babies and children under the age of three enjoyed increased the risk of delayed speech by 49%. Growing up in a home with heavy smartphone use can also delay kids’ emotional development. Dr. Jenny Radesky, a Boston-area physician, became concerned when she noticed an

increasing number of parents glued to their phones instead of interacting with their children. When children learn language, Dr. Radesky has explained, “they learn about their own emotions, they learn how to regulate them. They learn by watching us how to have a conversation, how to read other people’s facial expressions.

And if that’s not happening, children are missing out on important development milestones.”

Suggestions: try to turn off your smartphone at least an hour before going to bed. When using a smartphone, try to hold it at eye-level or higher in order to minimize back and neck pain, and never use a hand-held smartphone while driving. As always, moderation is key; consider designating times during the day to be “phone-free”.

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Nearly half of smartphone users in 2015 said they couldn’t imagine life without their phones, and that number has likely risen since then. With so much of school, work, and social life taking place online, it can feel impossible to disconnect completely. Yet given the real dangers of smartphones, finding time to unplug and disconnect is essential.

Even though I observe Shabbat and unplug completely for 25 hours each week, spending a whole day focused on other people without electronic distraction, I’ve come to realize that’s not enough. My husband and I already have a rule: no cellphones in our house between the hours of 7PM and 9 PM. We’ve started enforcing that much more strictly, mandating that everyone silence their phones and place them on a side table for those two hours. But after reading the literature on smartphone dangers, I want to go further. I’ve started turning my phone off an hour before bed, turning it off while driving, and telling friends that I’d like a no-phone rule when we meet. I’m also trying spend time with my kids with no phones in sight.

The benefits of limiting smartphone use are enormous. Putting down our phones can boost intelligence, raise grades, improve our mental and physical health and help us be happier and more connected with others. It’s one of the most powerful acts you can do to immediately improve your life.

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Jews Flood Toronto Courtroom to Defend a Young Man’s Life

by Sarah Biren

The doctors wanted to unplug Shalom Ounanounou. The Jewish community sprung into action.

H

undreds of Torontonian Jews from all types of backgrounds flooded the Canada Life Building on November 1, 2017, filling the long corridor and jamming into the largest courtroom. We came for one purpose: to support a Jewish life.

Yochai Shalom Nethanel Ounanounou, 25, suffered from a severe asthma attack that lead to cardiac arrest on September 27. The ambulance did not reach him in time and he slipped into a coma. At Toronto’s Humber River Hospital he was connected to respirators and remained unresponsive. In the weeks that followed, he was never alone. His family members kept him company by his bedside.

The doctors pronounced him brain dead and issued a death certificate since the provincial medical community defined ‘death’ as the cessation of brain functions. The doctors wanted to unplug

24

him on Yom Kippur, saying that the hospital can offer no further treatment, but family and their rabbis fought to keep him on the respirator.

“Under Jewish law, and in accordance with Shalom’s beliefs, Shalom is alive and the application of the brain death criteria expressly violate Shalom’s religious beliefs and thus discriminate against him based

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on his religion,” read a statement by Max Ouanounou, the patient’s father. “Shalom seeks an accommodation as a matter of human rights and constitutional law that allows his Jewish beliefs to be considered and accommodated in determining when death occurs.”

A hearing was issued to resolve this opposition. The day before it took place, a letter circulated through social media to the Jewish community pleading for Jews to come and support Shalom.

I took the hour-long trek to downtown Toronto with several other women. We pulled up to see busloads of yeshiva boys streaming into the building.

We followed them and collided with the crowd as soon as we exited the elevator.

Hundreds of people abandoned their regular schedules and came to this hearing. Everyone there felt the power each individual could make. No one said, “I’m only one person. It won’t matter whether I come or not.” In a court case fighting for religious freedom, we

demonstrated the uniting power of religion.

Standing in that cramped corridor, I was surrounded by throngs of people who shared the same goal to save Shalom’s life.

Beyond the fear and tension of the situation, we unanimously felt uplifted and inspired. How could the judge deny the will of hundreds of supporters crammed in the hallway?

The hearing began late, but many people stayed until the end, two hours later. They, like me, were not leaving until we hear the resolution.

We won.

The judge, Mr. Justice Hainley, ruled that Shalom should not be removed from life support, at least until the case is fully resolved, and the doctors cannot withhold any treatment that can improve his condition. Mr. Hainley made it clear that every medical personnel in that ward must be aware of this ruling, giving liability to the head doctors so no one can unplug the patient ‘accidentally.’

After the hearing, Charles Wagner, the lawyer that represents the League for Human Rights of Bnai Brith Canada and the Vaad Harabonim of Toronto, said this is only the beginning. Shalom may be on life support for now, but there will be a long case ahead to fight for this law that could take years. He expects the case to reach Supreme Court.

Some supporters drove straight to the hospital to celebrate the good news. Singers Yaakov Shwekey and Shlomo Simcha and musician Yanky Katina played music for Shalom and his family by his bedside. We left the government building, elated by the verdict and the incredible comradery of our nation.

Please pray for Yochai Shalom Nethanel ben Rivka.

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A Soldier’s Return to Germany to Avenge His Family’s Deaths

by Ronda Robinson

Henry Birnbrey, a Kindertransport survivor, helped liberate a death train in the heart of Nazi Germany.

I

n 1938 14-year-old Henry Birnbrey traveled by himself on a ship from Hamburg to New York as part of a Kindertransport, a special program to rescue Jewish children from Nazi Germany. An only child, he will never forget the trauma of leaving his parents behind. He would not see his family again. However, he would return to Germany years later to avenge their deaths.

He fought hard for that privilege.

Birnbrey was among many American soldiers to witness the devastation of the Nazi concentration camps. He helped liberate a “death train” deep in the heart of Nazi Germany. What he saw would change his life forever.

The images remain with him still at age 93. For many years he couldn’t entertain them. Then he received an invitation to talk to high school students about being a teenager in Germany and finally allowed himself to plumb the depths of the unspeakable.

34

It all began in 1937, when Henry – then called Heinz – was 13. His father Edmund, a merchant, was arrested after telling a customer he was unable to deliver textile goods. The customer’s son asked, “Is it because of the Nazi regime?” Even though Edmund said no, the customer’s son apparently denounced him as a traitor to the authorities.

Edmund managed to return home after a few days in jail. However, the Germans arrested him along with many others on Kristallnacht, the “Night of Broken Glass,” a pogrom against Jews on November 10-11, 1938. At least 91 Jews were murdered, 267 synagogues throughout Germany, Austria, and the Sudetenland were destroyed and windows of an estimated 7,500 Jewishowned commercial establishments were shattered and looted. Edmund Birnbrey was beaten up badly and died from his wounds a few weeks later.

By that time Henry already had escaped to America. A Jewish social worker greeted the young refugee from

Dortmund, Germany, on the docks of New York and shepherded him by train to Alabama. The Birmingham Council of Jewish Women, which had sponsored his immigration, placed him in a foster home.

After nine months they moved him to a different foster home in Atlanta. “I guess I was too hard to handle,” he jokes.

“I became a cousin to all the cousins.

I was invited to all the family events. I’ve been very blessed.”

Birnbrey had corresponded with his parents by mail, which was censored, and only learned about his father’s death two months after the fact. His mother Jenny died soon after, but he doesn’t know the cause. At least she wasn’t in a concentration camp.

She had tried to leave Germany and applied for visas. “What people don’t realize,” he says, “is there was no problem getting out of Germany in those days. The problem was getting admitted to other countries.”

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A Survivor’s Revenge Swept up in the surge of patriotism in his new country during World War II and thirsting for revenge, Henry tried to enlist in the U.S. Army.

At first he was turned down because the United States considered him an “enemy alien” due to his German passport. While waiting for American citizenship, he filed a presidential appeal and in 1943 was allowed to serve with the American forces that stormed the beaches of Normandy.

Birnbrey then went to Germany as a scout surveying the situation for the infantry division. “We were moving fast. Sometimes we were one to two days ahead of the Army. Our objective was to take Berlin,” he recounts.

“On the way between Brunswick and Magdeburg we encountered ditches along the highway full of concentration camp victims who had been shot.”

Two weeks before the war ended in 1945, the scouts came upon a shocking sight in the middle of nowhere: an abandoned, closed freight train with 20 or 30 cars full of Jews, standing room only. The Americans heard voices inside and were struck by a tremendously unpleasant smell.

“You just can’t find words to describe this kind of situation,” Birnbrey says. “People had been put into such subhuman conditions, it was almost difficult to identify with them as fellow human beings. Their own waste was in the freight cars. They had been so degraded by the process.”

Apparently the Germans had been transferring the Jews from the BergenBelsen concentration camp to Theresienstadt to avoid their rescue by the allied forces. But fearing their own capture from the advancing Americans, the guards abandoned their prisoners. The American soldiers opened the train doors and freed them.

“We were too stunned to know what to do. There are a million things you wish you had done. It was so horrible, so unsightly, dirty, filthy, ugly.

It was totally unexpected. We were totally unprepared. The only food we carried were emergency rations for ourselves. We didn’t have a kitchen. We radioed back to tell people what we had seen. We were told to go on and others would take over.”

Birnbrey recalls the sight often and admits it has remained in his conscience his whole life.

Where Taste Meets Elegance

More than half a century later Matthew Rozell, a non-Jewish social studies teacher in upstate New York, started researching this lost chapter of the Holocaust. He published A Train Near Magdeburg: A Teacher’s Journey, Backwards Into the Holocaust in 2016 Rozell also organized reunions of survivors and liberators, one of which Birnbrey attended in Bradenton, Fla. Still moved, he says: “It was highly emotional. It was very hard for any of us to speak. It was amazing where these people came from – some lived in Israel, some in America. One was the grandson of a survivor, who was in charge of atomic energy in the Barack Obama era.

One survivor called his liberators “the angels of life.”

Life after Death With his knowledge of German, Birnbrey later was asked to interrogate prisoners. “We could never find a single German soldier who knew what was going on,” he says ironically. They all feigned ignorance.

Back home in the United States, Birnbrey, an accountant, went to law school on the GI Bill that provided educational assistance for veterans.

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Finally a licensed rehab for Jews Dr. David Nesenoff and Rabbi Adam Nesenoff open Tikvah Lake Recovery

W

ith overdoses, substance abuse and many forms of addiction making national news, the Jewish community has not been edited from those tragic headlines. In fact, the statistics are dangerously growing with minimal sustaining solutions to the problem among all Jewish denominations. After traveling to over 600 Jewish communities in the world, this catastrophic problem did not escape the attention of Dr. David Nesenoff who this year opened Tikvah Lake Recovery, a very unique oasis for those who need to overcome their addictions.

“I learned that there was a 90% relapse rate of addicts who actually went to rehab,” Dr. Nesenoff said. “I knew that there had to be a better solution.” Nesenoff, along with

38

his son Rabbi Adam Nesenoff, decided to infuse strong clinical treatment with Jewish traditional teachings. Together they established Tikvah Lake Recovery,

a kosher Florida Licensed residential addiction rehabilitation facility. The 15,000 square foot mansion on a lake provides multiple beautiful settings

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to receive treatment from a highly qualified medical and clinical team.

Additionally, the grounds include an exquisite environment to pray, learn, enjoy Shabbos and holidays, eat healthy, boat, fish, hike, exercise, swim and reboot one’s life.

Among the unique characteristics of Tikvah Lake Recovery is that Dr. Nesenoff and his wife actually live at the facility full time, allowing for very personalized and protective care over the residents. This unpresidented aspect, along with the State health and fire departments’ inspections and permits, help produce a safe, warm, home enviroment.

“There are a few basics we adhere to: confidetniality, dignity and a non-judgmental atmosphere,” Dr. Nesenoff noted. “And our three secret weapons to healing our residents are our

incredible clinical director, our Jewish home and our 300 acre lake.”

In an attempt to not exclude anyone in need, Tikvah Lake Recovery has recently begun accepting insurance as well as offers patient financing plans. In contrast with many programs and faciities that attempt to attend to 80 people at a time, Tikvah Lake Recovery limits their attention to a maximum of six residents - for a myriad of addictions.

“The key is to not just stop the addcit’s destructive behavior while he is momentarily in rehab, but to actually cancel that frightening relapse statistic as well,” Nesenoff said. “And we do that six souls at a time.”

Tikvah Lake Recovery offers a 24/7 phone contact: 954.644.5040. Their website is TikvahLake.com.

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Chasdei Lev

Leftover Recipes Delicious and foolproof recipes that transform your leftovers into a new meal.

by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller

If your family is anything like mine, they’re not crazy about leftovers. (And if you’re anything like me, you often misjudge just how much food to cook and find yourself with leftovers very often!)

Here are some foolproof recipes I’ve collected over the years that turn leftovers into creative new meals. They don’t all call for exact measurements – because you never know exactly what you’ll have in your fridge. Feel free to mix, match and experiment – and share your own favorite leftover recipes in the comments section below!

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Korean Pancakes Korean PancakesI first read how to make these delicious pancakes in The New York Times, and they quickly became one of my kids’ favorites.

For the pancakes:

Heat vegetable oil in a nonstick frying pan over medium heat.

Using a soup ladle or ½ cup measuring cup, pour batter into pan one spoonfull at a time. Cook until brown and crispy on bottom (about 2 minutes), then flip and fry until brown and crispy on the other side (2 minutes).

2 t Vegetable Oil 2 Eggs ½ cup Flour ½ t Salt ½ cup very finely chopped leftover vegetables and/or meat.

(Suggestion: cauliflower, peas, asparagus, green beans, and chopped cooked leftover chicken or beef) ½ cup Water or Leftover Chicken Soup (cold) Vegetable oil, for frying

For the dipping sauce:

Beat eggs, then add flour and salt. Mix in leftover meat and/or vegetables. Add water or leftover chicken soup, and stir until well blended.

Serves 4.

3 T Rice Wine Vinegar 3 T Soy Sauce 1 ½ t sugar Pinch of hot red pepper flakes Combine all ingredients in a bowl and serve as an accompaniment to the pancakes.

Chicken with Dumplings This Southern-inspired dish is one of my family’s favorites – and a great way of using up cooked chicken and leftover chicken soup after Shabbos! Please note, all measurements are approximate.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. For the chicken: 1 Onion, diced 4-5 Stalks Celery, scrubbed and diced 10-12 Mushrooms, cleaned and sliced thinly 2 garlic cloves, diced finely Cooked chicken, cut into bite-sized pieces (2-4 cups) 1 T flour 1 cup Chicken Soup 1 T vegetable oil or margarine Saute the onion, garlic, celery and mushrooms until soft. (If you have other vegetable leftovers such as peas or chopped asparagus, feel free to throw that in too once the onion mixture is cooked.) Sprinkle flour over vegetables and stir to mix.

Then stir in chicken pieces and chicken soup. Stir until well mixed, then place chicken mixture in a shallow baking dish.

For the dumplings: 2 ½ cups Flour ¼ cup Margarine 1 t Baking Powder 1 t Salt Approx. ¼ cup Chicken Soup Mix flour, salt, baking powder and margarine together. Gradually add chicken soup until the mixture forms a soft, sticky dough.

Using two spoons, drop spoonfuls of dough onto chicken mixture. Bake, uncovered, 30 minutes, until dumplings are golden brown.

Serves 4.

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Cooked Turkey Carcass Soup Cooked Turkey Carcass SoupFamous French cook Jacques Pepin confides that his family prefers this soup – made with leftover turkey bones and leftover salad greens – to versions calling for fresh ingredients.

About 2 lbs Turkey Carcass Bones from a cooked turkey, plus any leftover juices and/or cooked garnishes (such as pieces of carrot, onion, or garlic) 4 quarts Water 2 Carrots, peeled and cut into ½ inch pieces (1 cup) 1 Cup Celery, diced in ½ inch pieces 3 cups Leftover Salad Greens or Outer Lettuce Leaves, coarsely chopped ½ cup (about 3 oz) Pastina (any tiny pasta in alphabet, star, or square shapes) Remove all the skin from the turkey carcass. Place all the turkey bones, juice, and cooked garnishes in a large stainless steel stockpot with the water. Bring the water to a strong boil,

then skim off and discard as much of the fat and scum from the surface as possible.

Reduce the heat, and boil the mixture gently, uncovered, for 2 hours. Strain. This will yield 2 quarts of stock. (Note: if your yield is greater, boil the stock until it is reduced to 2 quarts; if your yield is less, add water to bring up to 2 quarts.) Remove and discard all visible fat from the surface of the stock. Pick the meat from the bones, and add it to the stock.

Rinse the stockpot, and place the stock back in the pot with all the remaining ingredients except the pastina. Bring the stock to a boil, reduce the heat to low, cover, and boil gently for 20 minutes. Add the pastina, and continue to boil gently, covered, for another 10 minutes. Serve immediately, or cool completely, and refrigerate or freeze for later use.

From Cooking with Claudine by Jacques Pepin (Bay Books, San Francisco: 1996).

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Cooked Turkey Carcass Soup Bubble and SqueakBubble and Squeak is a classic British recipe using leftover cooked potatoes and cabbage. Celebrity British chef Jamie Oliver has given it a modern twist and made it even more versatile: his recipe calls for any leftover cooked vegetable, not only cabbage.

500 g (a little over 1 lb.) Mixed Cooked Vegetables, cut into chunks 750 g (a little over 1.5 lbs.) Cooked Potatoes, cut into chunks Olive oil 1 knob Unsalted Butter or Margarine 4 Eggs Salt and freshly ground black pepper Heat olive oil and butter or margarine in a large frying pan over a medium heat. Add the potatoes and vegetables and gently mash them up in the pan. Pat it down into a thick pancake shape and keep frying on a medium heat for about 30 minutes, checking it every 5 minutes or so to make sure the bottom isn’t burning. If it is, then lower the heat and keep watching it.

Once the bottom turns golden, carefully flip it over bit by bit and mash it back into itself. Pat it out flat again and continue

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cooking until really crisp all over.

When the bubble and squeak is nearly ready to come off the heat, start on the eggs. Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil then turn down to a simmer and add the 4 eggs. Remember when it comes to poaching eggs, the fresher the eggs the better the result. Cook for 4 to 5 minutes for a soft to firm egg or a bit longer if you prefer your eggs a little harder.

Serve a slice of the bubble and squeak topped with a seasoned poached egg Serves 4.

Adapted from www.jamieoliver.com

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Salmon & Caper Fish Cakes Salmon and Caper Fish Cakes 8 oz Cooked Salmon 8 oz Mashed Potatoes 2 T Chopped Fresh Parsley 2 dessertspoons Capers, drained and chopped 2 small Gherkins, chopped 2 Hard-Boiled Eggs, peeled and chopped small 1 T Lemon Juice Freshly Grated Nutmeg 2 pinches Cayenne Pepper Salt and freshly ground black pepper For the coating and shallow frying: 1 Egg, beaten Approx. 3 oz Dry White Breadcrumbs Vegetable Oil and Butter or Margarine To garnish: Watercress and Lemon Quarters In a large mixing bowl combine all the ingredients for the fish cakes together thoroughly, then taste and season as required with salt and pepper.

When you’re ready to cook, lightly flour a working surface, turn the fish mixture out onto it and form it into a long roll 2-2 ½ inches (5-6 cm) in diameter. Cut the roll into twelve round fish cakes. Pat each cake into a neat flat shape, and dip each one first into beaten egg and then in the dry white breadcrumbs. Now shallow-fry the cakes in equal quantities of oil and butter or margarine until golden-brown on both sides. Drain on crumpled kitchen paper (paper towel) and serve immediately. If you like you can cook cod or other fish for this recipe – and it is also nice to mash the potato with 1 dessertspoon of mayonnaise.

Serves 4.

Recipe from Delia Smith’s Complete Cookery Course by Delia Smith (BBC Books, London: 1998).

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“Diplomatic” Pudding “Diplomatic” PuddingThis fruity, nutty Cuban dessert calls for a stale loaf of Cuban bread – though stale challah loaves can be substituted instead. (If you served your challah during a meat meal, this recipe can be make parve by substituting soy milk for cow’s milk.)

1 Loaf Stale Bread (Cuban Bread or Challah), about 4 cups 4 cups Milk (Or Soy Milk) 2 cups Sugar 1 T Butter or Margarine 2 T Water 3 Eggs 2 T Vanilla 1 Orange, chopped and well drained ¼ cup Chopped Almonds ¼ cup Chopped Raisins

Turn the oven up to 325 degrees F. In another medium-size mixing bowl, beat together the eggs, the remaining 1 ½ cup sugar, and the vanilla. Stir the beaten eggs into the bread mixture. Add the oranges, almonds, and the raisins. Pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish and bake on the middle rack of the oven for 1 hour. Cool slightly before serving, or cover with plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator before serving.

Adapted from A Taste of Cuba by Linette Creen (Plume, NY: 1994).

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM AISH.COM

Crumble the bread into a large mixing bowl, pour the milk (or soy milk) over it and let stand 1 hour. Meanwhile, have a 2-quart baking dish warming in a 200 degree F oven.

In a small saucepan over medium-high heat, place ½ cup of the sugar, the butter or margarine, and the water. Stir until the mixture begins to bubble and turn a caramel-brown color. Remove the baking dish from the oven and pour hte hot caramel into it.

Roll the caramel around the dish to coat the sides. Set aside to cool.

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